AKMA blogs thoughtfully about forgiveness. He looks mostly at the perspective of the forgivee (more to come), and he addresses the act itself. I think he's right on the mark in paying attention to forgiveness of even the smallest things, because that's where we can practice for the hard work of big-time forgiveness, and because it's where it's needed most frequently.
The reason I think practice is important is because forgiveness, from the perspective of the forgiver, means, as AKMA points out, not that we forget about it or pretend it didn't happen. It means "resolving not to permit this past wrong to determine where I go from here". That involves a careful watch over my own later attitudes about the person I forgive, attitudes that can be manifested in a flash, often before I'm even conscious of them. So the work on forgiveness is not a one-time event, it's an ongoing attempt at participation in my own often-automatic inner workings.May 27, 2002 09:46 PM