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[F6] Brandy Henn the Star Treasure Hunter

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11
WinterCoatPerson was signed in when posted
07-23-2019
12:44 PM ET (US)
Also when I say JM shouldn't have been able to solve it early, I mean that he shouldn't have been able make a guess that snapped the mystery in half. I'm not asking for something stupidly drawn out and needlessly difficult.
Edited 07-23-2019 12:44 PM
10
WinterCoatPerson was signed in when posted
07-23-2019
12:42 PM ET (US)
Some thoughts on Chapter 1. I'm typing these as they pop into my brain so I'm sorry if things are out of order.


For starters, reading Brandy's late-night alibi was pretty difficult. Not because of the plot that happened, but because of the way the character herself was written. It just felt like Olivia Watson in another disguise. She felt too cool, almost. Well, "cool" because let's face it Skylar was a dork anyway. My general tip to writing Brandy better would be to put her accent in more things and to make her less showoff-y. I know her whole vice is that she tries too hard, but something about the way she raced to the tunnels with Charlotte felt more cocky than anything. Furthermore, I did like the significance of her running away from the thing that woke her up, given the circumstances surrounding her missing eye and arm. Originally I was mad she didn't immediately go back to help Charlotte, but her deciding to get Klifford was smart and IC in the end. One other note, the bit where she criticizes Klifford's joke just felt like Skylar again, but you know that. Also I think you nailed the relationship between her and Charlotte.

Now, for my actual thoughts on the chapter's events. You already know what I thought about the bridge, so I'll skip that. My first problem comes from Belphegor. I thought his introduction was really great and tense, but the moment Bruce started talking and Belphegor didn't stop talking the tension went way down. This game seems a lot darker than those before it, so Bruce just takes me out of it every time. Belphegor is too chatty and maybe not the best Monokuma, but that could change. I am still of the belief we'll get different demons each time, but I guess we'll see.

Next, the trial was a huge anticlimax that honestly took me out of the game for a bit. The closing argument and ending felt super out of nowhere and strange. I understand JM singlehandedly ended it early, but that shouldn't have been possible in the first place. Again, I think we went over the trial ad nauseum in the Discord chat so I won't beat a dead horse.

The execution was okay, I guess. It happened. F being the killer was an actual surprise though. I didn't expect that. I did expect Carrie to bite it, though, which is why I'm glad I got to EFL her (even if it remains unfinished, rip).

Misc. While I greatly enjoy the premise and setting, I do hope the latter areas of the cave are interesting. I understand that for Ch1 it was just a cave, but I hope it's more varied as we go. I predict we'll see (in addition to the mine shaft we're in right now, which was obviously gonna happen) some kind of underground ghost town, an area for the local cult outside of the trial room, and (crackpot theory) an area that casually has either fossils or a downed UFO for funsies.

I also really like Enola and the story tidbits we keep getting, very dark and I love it.

Keep up the good work you guys, I hope this was helpful in some capacity. Sorry if I didn't explain myself well enough. I can elaborate on things if need be.
9
Southern CornPerson was signed in when posted
07-23-2019
11:31 AM ET (US)
Your EFL with Bennett: https://www.quicktopic.com/52/H/LDEKcJx6YRi
8
Southern CornPerson was signed in when posted
07-23-2019
09:36 AM ET (US)
Your EFL with Seb: https://www.quicktopic.com/52/H/xiH7uW27kBhK2
Edited 07-23-2019 09:38 AM
7
Southern CornPerson was signed in when posted
07-19-2019
10:24 AM ET (US)
You, Oliver and Charlotte are assigned to examine Tunnel A- the tunnel on the left with all the vines growing through it.

“Hmm, alright, let’s see what we can find here.” Oliver says, looking around. “Doesn’t look like there’s much here, but still.”

“Hey, look at this quicksand!” Charlotte points out. “It’s a mess!”

Indeed, the quicksand looks like it’s been splashed into. It’s splattered all over nearby, and emerging from it are two different sets of footsteps.

“Huh, this is strange.” Brandy says. “There’s two sets, one bigger than the other. The bigger set carries on for a while but the smaller ones seem to stop pretty quickly.”

“How intriguing… They must have cleaned themselves, I suppose.” Oliver speculates. “Either way, it seems this quicksand has gotten the better of some people now.”

“Yeah, but only while coming back.” Brandy responds. “You notice how you don’t see any footprints on the other side? Seems like they made it over the quicksand the first time, then messed up on the way back.”

“Hmm, you’re quite right. How did they get over the quicksand, though?” Oliver approaches the quicksand slowly, looking at it.

“Like THIS!” Charlotte suddenly gives Oliver a small push from behind. Losing his balance, Oliver flails helplessly for a second before falling face first into the quicksand.

“Aaaah! Aaah!” Olvier cries out, only just managing to get out of it in time. “Why on earth did you do that?!” He shouts at Charlotte furiously, wiping it off his face. “My perfect clothing… My beautiful visage is completely ruined!” He gestures to his now muddy white suit.

“Uh… whoops?” Charlotte shrugs, almost comically.

“You better be more careful in the future about this stuff, Charlotte”, Brandy scolds, though even she can’t hide the smile on her face. “Here, I’ll help you, Oliver.”

With Brandy’s help, the muddy stains are mostly removed from Oliver’s clothes. A few still remain though, and his suit looks much shabbier than it did before.

“Sorry, that’s the best I can do.” Brandy shrugs.

Oliver seems upset, but he nods. “Yes, thank you for your help, Brandy.”

“Anyway, getting back to the topic at hand, I think you can jump over the quicksand fine. It wouldn’t be too hard to do, anyway.” Brandy says.

“You mean I could have actually made it?” Oliver seethes. “Agh, how could this day get any worse?” He places a hand on a nearby wall… only for it to not be there. He falls down once again. “What the?!” He gets up, shocked. “What is this?!” He pushes away the vines to reveal… a secret tunnel? Brandy and Charlotte both appear quite shocked at this.

“Is… this some sort of hidden pathway?” Oliver asks. “Then we must take a look there and see what is within!”

“U-um… Maybe we shouldn’t?” Charlotte suggests nervously.

“Why shouldn’t we?! There could be some important clues in there! We only just found this now, it warrants a look!” He insists.

“M-maybe you’re just overthinking things, Oliver.” Brandy says. “You just discovered this weird thing now, like you said. What’s the probability that someone else knew about that? That’s just weird.”

“But-”

“Oh, is that everyone calling us to the trial thing now?” Charlotte quickly interrupts. “We should go there now!”

“Wait, wh-”

“Yeah, we should! No time to waste here!” Brandy declares. “Let’s get going, everyone!” She says. The three get going, though Oliver doesn’t seem happy about not being able to examine the tunnel further.
6
Doctor NanjoPerson was signed in when posted
07-18-2019
12:31 PM ET (US)
As the performance starts, you sit next to Charlotte, who immediately appears pretty excited to see you.

“Hey there, Charlotte.” Brandy gives a cool grin to the girl, putting her arm over her.

“Yo, Mother Hen!” Charlotte smiles back eagerly. “Everything going well?”

“You betcha! Enjoying the performance?” Brandy asks.

“I am… but! Don’t you want to do anything exciting today?” Charlotte sneakily inquires. “Once everyone goes to bed, these caves could be ours to explore!”

“Good point!” Brandy laughs as she gives a pat on the back to the girl. “But we need some sleep as well, so… How about we pay a visit to our hideout sometime after 4 AM?”

“Yeah, sure… I don’t want our identities getting compromised, so maybe we should remove all the evidence there.” Charlotte whispers.

“Alright then, sounds good.” Brandy agrees. “Just make sure nobody follows us.” She then turns back to watch Oliver’s singing.

After the performance ends, you hang around camp for a bit before heading to bed at midnight exactly. You decide to get some shuteye before you start on your great adventure, and fall asleep pretty quickly. You manage to get up some time later. It’s about 4 AM, more or less. You know it’s been only a bit since the switching of the guards took place, so you decide to wait a little longer before getting out.

After a while though, you get somewhat impatient and look beside you at Charlotte.

“Charlotte! Are you awake?” Brandy quietly whispers.

“Yup, I’m here.” Charlotte whispers back, getting up. “So are we ready to go?”

“Yeah! Just make sure not to make any noise when you leave, alright?” Brandy warns sternly.

“Alright, Mother Hen.” Charlotte nods, and the two set out from camp, tiptoeing slowly so as to not get caught. “Hey, you think Daniel saw us?” Charlotte asks as they leave.

“I don’t think so. Weird… You’d think he’d be more careful with stuff like that. Ah, whatever!” Brandy shrugs. “We’ve got this whole cave to ourselves now! Let’s see who can make it to the tunnels first, yeah?” She suddenly starts sprinting.

“Hey, wait for me!” Charlotte says, quickly running after her.

After a few minutes, the two both make it to the tunnel. Brandy stylishly puts her hand on the wall, smirking as Charlotte struggles to catch up to her.

“Aw *huff* come on! That *huff* totally wasn’t fair!” Charlotte complains as she stops for breath.

“You’ve gotta be faster than that, y’know!” Brandy shakes her head in a faux-disappointed manner. “Sometimes, you won’t have time to catch up! You’ve really got to step up your game! That’s what adventuring’s all about!”

“I… don’t think… I’m cut out for this, then.” Charlotte gasps as she wipes some sweat off her brow.

“Nonsense! You’ll get used to it soon enough! Let’s keep going!” Brandy says, taking the tunnel on the left and stopping just before the quicksand. “Now, do you remember where the shortcut was?”

“Yeah… to your right.” Charlotte gestures as such, pulling away the leaves away nearby to reveal a small tunnel to the side. “Sh… shall we go through now?”

“Yup! Way easier this way. Now, let’s go in!”

The two entered the tunnel and made their way through. A few minutes later, they made it to the end of the tunnel. They pushed away a small box and entered the hideout. “There we are! No pesky water on us this way.” Brandy takes a look around. “Geez, it’s been a while. I see the others have taken quite a lot of stuff from here. And what’s with the odour in here? This place stinks!”

“Yeah, no kidding! What the heck are we going to do now?” Charlotte asks.

“Don’t get too stressed yet, kid. Doesn’t look like they’ve figured out this place is ours.” Brandy mused. “Let’s get cleaning over here. We’ve got time.” She checks the time. “4:30, huh… Let’s finish work here in an hour, alright?”

“A-alright.” Charlotte gulps. “B-but I don’t want to just throw away all this stuff! I’ve spent a truckload of time collecting this! E-erm, no pun intended.”

“Yeah, no worries.” Brandy replies consolingly. “If there’s anything that points at our identities, we just move them somewhere else. Somewhere where nobody else will look, maybe? Let’s just hide it in some other tunnel, maybe.”

“Oh, yeah! So I guess we should start picking up all that, huh? Well, crap.” Charlotte mutters. “I never did like spring cleaning…” She sighs.

The two then start looking around, picking up stuff they think might incriminate them and stuffing it into a small bag.

“Hey, where did those tools go? I thought they might’ve been useful for later on”, Charlotte grumbles. “Did the others take ‘em?”

“Not that I know of. Maybe I’m just forgetting, though… Hey, wait a second!” Brandy picks up a wristwatch laying in the corner. It looks to be quite fancy looking. “This looks familiar… Isn’t this the mayor’s?”

“Uhm, well…” Charlotte just scratches her head.

“Why did you take this?!” Brandy asks angrily. “Is stealing from the mayor part of your job description?!”

“H-hey, look! I just do this impulsively, alright?” Charlotte yells defensively. “I was just meeting him the other day and then… I just took it from him, y’know?”

“You can’t just do that!” Brandy responds furiously. “You know he’ll be pissed about this when he finds out, right?”

“Well- AAAAAA!!” Charlotte’s response suddenly gets interrupted as she suddenly points behind Brandy before letting out a loud scream. But before Brandy can even turn to look, she suddenly feels something hit her head and blacks out as she falls onto the floor.





When Brandy wakes up, she feels someone shaking her. She opens her eyes slowly… and sees what appears to be someone in a raincoat looking down at her. She lets out a horrified scream before immediately jumping up and running away through the tunnel, without even looking back to see who that was.

After a few minutes, she slows down to catch her breath. Who was that? She didn’t manage to get a good look at them before running away, but it appears they might have been the person who knocked her out. Wait… Was Charlotte alright? She suddenly stiffened as it hit her. Was she still in the cave? What… what did that person in the raincoat do to her?!

She had to go get help now. But… could she really? She put her head against the wall, distressed. This was all her fault. She screwed up, big time. Charlotte was in trouble now, and here she was, just running away! She needed to go back and save her! But could she handle that person on her own? They already knocked her out, after all. She needed to get help, and pronto. But how would she explain it to the others? She’d have to admit to what happened, that she put poor old Charlotte in danger. Would she have to confront that person on her own now?

You spend much time deliberating on what to do. Minutes and minutes pass, yet your paranoia and uncertainty gets the better of you. Finally, you decide this isn’t the time to be loafing around! Charlotte needs help, and fast! You get out of the tunnel and start running back to camp. On the way there, you feel as if you felt someone else there, but once you’ve realised it you’ve already passed by them, so you continue, making it back to the camp.

You quickly check the time. 5:30?! You really did waste a lot of time… Charlotte’s life could be in peril now! Who would you need to call… Maybe a doctor?

“Klifford!” Brandy shouts suddenly into his tent. “Are you awake?!”

“Urrghh… Leanne, is that you…?” Klifford asks groggily as he gets up, rubbing his eyes.

Brandy blinks in confusion. “What? No, it’s me! Brandy Henn, remember?”

“Oh! Oh, yes, Brandy… What is it, now? It’s quite late. I’d have thought you’d be asleep by now.” Klifford mutters, checking the time as he does. “5:30… geez.”

“There’s no time to explain! Charlotte’s in big trouble, and she needs your help!” Brandy exclaims.

“W-what?!” Klifford jumps, slowly getting out of his tent and scanning his surroundings. “Y-you mean she’s not here... ?”

“She’s in the hideout!” Brandy says, pulling him by the arm. “We’ve got to get there immediately!”

Before Klifford can even ask anything else, Brandy tugs him along with a surprising amount of force and the two both quickly leave camp, rushing through the caves. Soon, they stop before the two branching tunnels. Brandy puts her hand on the cavern wall, out of breath. “T-there’s… a secret tunnel… on the left path. Just before the quicksand, if you pull pack the vines, it’s… it leads to the hideout.”

“How do you know?” Klifford asks, surprised.

“It’s…” Brandy looks away uncomfortably. “Look, just go through there for now. Charlotte should be there on the other side, and…”

“Aren’t you coming as well?”

“I’ll… come in a few minutes. I just need to... y’know.” Brandy shakes her head.

Klifford sighs and goes through the tunnel on his own, leaving you there. You tremble by yourself for a bit. Was it really right not to go with him? He could’ve used the help now. You can’t be scared like this now! You decide to go into the tunnel a minute or so later, taking your time as you do so. Finally, you make it through there and back into the hideout.

As you make it there, you see Charlotte lying in a corner, completely still. Klifford is beside her, attending to her carefully with a first aid box by his side.

“W-wh…” You can barely get the words out of your mouth.

“Ah, you’re here.” Klifford nods, not even turning to look your way. “Don’t worry, I’m doing the best I can for her. You’re quite lucky there’s a first aid box in this place.”

“W-will she be alright?” You ask quietly.

“Might be. Looks like the poor girl has quite a lot of injuries on her. She’s going to need serious medical attention from me for a while here.” Klifford explains seriously. “I’ll need some quiet time here, if you don’t mind.”

Brandy sighs. “Alright, doc… Take your time.” You check the time now- 5:50.

You look around while you wait. It doesn’t appear that the figure in the raincoat from earlier is here anymore. Other than that, everything almost seems to be the same… Though a horrible odour is present in the area, for whatever reason. Then, you notice something. Someone, to be precise.

“Ciro…?” You give a confused glance to the man, lying unconscious on the floor behind some rope.

“Ah, yes, him.” Klifford turns around momentarily. “I untied him just now, in case you’re wondering.”

“He was tied up…?” You ask.

“You mean it wasn’t your doing?” Klifford probes suspiciously.

“Of course not! I would never do something like that!” You protest.

“Fine, fine.” Klifford sighs. “He’s out like a light, though. Seems to have been knocked out by something blunt. He’s in no critical condition, though, so I’ll come to him after treating your friend.” He turns back to Charlotte.

Strange… what could this mean?

You don’t seem to get any answers though, looking around, so you decide to go to your friend’s side and wait quietly.

“Heh… it’s alright there, Charlotte. Everything’s going to be fine.” Klifford says quietly as he attends to her. “You may be a bit reckless, but you’re not a… Charlotte-an, are you?”

“Wait, Charlotte what?” Brandy asks, confused.

Klifford looks up, apparently surprised she overheard him. “Oh… It was ‘Charlotte-an’. Y’know, like ‘Charlatan’?”

Brandy gives an annoyed groan. “Do you really come up with this stuff even when you’re operating, Klifford?”

“H-hey, nobody asked you to listen!” Klifford responds sheepishly. “It’s just something I do to make myself feel better. Nothing wrong with that, y’know? Helps calm me down.”

Brandy simply rolls her eyes. “If I were your patient, hearing your jokes would be more than enough to send me into a coma.”

Klifford looks away awkwardly, grumbling to himself before he continues working. Suddenly, he raises his eyebrows. “Huh, that’s strange… They’ve stopped now.”

“Huh? What’s stopped?” Brandy asks.

“Didn’t you hear it when you were coming here? There were some pretty loud sobs coming for a while.” Klifford says. “I was so focused on Charlotte over here I didn’t even realise it, but it stopped some time back.”

“Huh… now that you mention it…” Brandy scratches her chin in thought. “Yeah, I faintly remember hearing it now. I didn’t think about it much because I was pretty worried, though…”

“That’s fair enough, Brandy.” Klifford nods. “Thinking about it, I might’ve stopped hearing them sometime before you came in. It seems to be gone now.”

“Pretty weird, if you ask me.” Brandy shakes her head. “I wonder what it c-” But she gets cut off, by a small groan.

“Huh…? What’s going on here?” Charlotte slowly opens her eyes, noticing Brandy by her side. “M-mother? Is that yo-”

She gets quickly cut off by a tight hug coming from Brandy’s side. It feels warm and comforting despite it being done with only one arm, in contrast to the cold tears that run down Brandy’s face. “Y-you’re alive…” She quietly murmurs. “You’re still here…”

Charlotte seems caught off guard by this sudden display of emotion, but slowly decides to return it. “Are you alright?” She asks nervously.

“Yes… I’m alright now.” Brandy wipes off the tears on her face, showing a relieved smile. “I’m sorry that you had to get hurt, Charlotte… This was all my fault.”

“O-oh, no, no! Please don’t be sad…” Charlotte exclaims apologetically. “I didn’t know you were so worried!”

“But are you fine, pal?” Klifford asks. “You were knocked out, you know. You had a lot of injuries on you as well.”

“Oh… Yeah, I’m feeling good. Maybe a bit dizzy, but... “ Charlotte shrugs. “I can’t really recall what happened now.”

“You must be tired now. You’ve had a long night. Maybe it’s time to go back and rest now.” Klifford advises.

“Yes, I’ll take her back now. But…” Brandy takes Klifford’s hand and shakes it joyfully. “Thank you so much for your help! Without you I don’t… I don’t know what I’d…”

Klifford lightly chuckles. “Don’t worry about it. All that matters is that she’s alive and well and you both can be happy now.” He gets up, dusting his clothes. “Anyway, I’ve got to take care of him now.” He gestures to Ciro, who’s lying in the middle of the hideout in a strange pose.

“Huh? What’s he…?” Charlotte asks, confused.

“It doesn’t matter now.” Brandy says, tugging Charlotte along as she leaves through the tunnel. “Let’s get you back to camp now.”

You and Charlotte both walk back to camp after that. She appears to be remarkably lightheaded and is in a surprisingly good mood still. You put your hand around her the entire time, not wanting anything bad to happen to her. You both make it back to the camp at about 6:15. It appears to be silent, with Daniel quietly sitting, almost the same as before. You leave Charlotte at her tent and put her to sleep quietly before going inside and sleeping yourself. It’s been a stressful night. Now’s the time to get some rest.

You doze off, and later wake up at 8:00. You decide to get up and join the others for breakfast after that.
5
Doctor NanjoPerson was signed in when posted
07-15-2019
01:38 PM ET (US)
Here's your EFL with Nail: https://www.quicktopic.com/52/H/rn6gLG8GZtM
4
Southern CornPerson was signed in when posted
07-15-2019
09:01 AM ET (US)
Carrie has accepted your request for an EFL: https://www.quicktopic.com/52/H/TDPvf8E73gk
3
Southern CornPerson was signed in when posted
07-14-2019
10:46 PM ET (US)
Your tentmate EFL: https://www.quicktopic.com/52/H/CBjAbAXxJLWMM
2
Southern CornPerson was signed in when posted
07-13-2019
03:22 AM ET (US)
General character info: You've been an explorer for a while now, traversing the globe and putting all the spoils you've collected in your home as a sort of museum for the others to see. One year ago though, you were exploring in a cavern when you got into a nasty encounter with a strange underground cult. You were caught and tortured relentlessly by them. You thankfully managed to escape with your life, but not your arm or eye. It was a horrific event that heavily affected you. You were forced to stick to smaller scale projects ever since.

People you recognise:
Bennett- ...Your ex. About one year back, you ended your relationship with him since you couldn't make things work. Your schedules were incompatible too which didn't help matters. You see him around town occasionally but you haven't tried talking to him for a while. Maybe this could be a good time to, though.

Charlotte- Hey, look who it is! You know Charlie pretty well at this point. She's one of your biggest fans in the town and follows you around whenever you're in town. You know she and her mother don't get along well, so she looks up to you as an idol of sorts. She's earned her title of 'The Robin Hood of Rattlewater' by stealing from trucks that pass by the nearby highway and donating the spoils to the town. She keeps quite a bit of it for herself though, and with your help, she's hidden them deep in the underground tunnels for when it's time to use them. It's a secret for now though. Anyway, she's a good kid but you really need to take care of her during this expedition.

Ivan- Pretty well known in the town for his strictness and ferociousness when working on a case, and his loyalty and devotion to the town is truly unmatched. Pretty hard working too, even though he's so young. Weird to think he's only Charlotte's age...

Micah- You've heard of her before. A renowned archaeologist, she seems pretty friendly. You've seen her around town and you believe she's even shown interest in your own personal museum, which you appreciate. You also recall hearing something about her wanting to explore the underground tunnels of Rattlewater. Good to have an expert on the team, you suppose.

Lavender/Oliver- Pretty well known in the town, they perform regularly (though separately) at bars and restaurants. They're both great performers, though Lavender's bizarre nature adds a certain charm to her. Not the type of people you'd expect to see in a cave expedition though.

Nail- The man of mystery. Little is known about him and he carries an air of mystery with him. You've never actually gotten advice from him before, but he's still pretty suspicious looking. You've heard rumours that his unusual height and complexion come from his demonic heritage... Which sounds ridiculous, but he remains an enigma to all.
1
Southern CornPerson was signed in when posted
07-12-2019
12:57 PM ET (US)
This is your QT for F6. Your alibis and other story related information connected to your character will be posted here.
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