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Shirly Cahill the Ultimate Barista

JesusMonroePerson was signed in when posted
03:13 PM ET (US)
[2:45 PM]
After confessing, you feel as light as a feather-- it felt good to get that off your chest. Besides, not like cheating in a contest is that bad, even. Plus, if it was you that was to be killed today, that means that no one had to die at all! Students: 1, Monokuma: 0!

You encounter a lonely pool cue and find someone standing nearby with its partner.

“Shirly-- you wanna play a game?” asked Silas. “I was feeling guilty for turning down Kagayaki earlier, but I can’t find her.

Still feeling your post-confession high, you accept, and spend the next little bit shooting some pool with Silas. You two make small talk, but you don’t talk about anything especially deep.

At around 3:40, Silas breaks into the first topic you care to remember. “Have you seen Anissa lately? I haven’t noticed her around when I looked for Kagayaki earlier.” he said.

“Anissa? No-- I haven’t seen her either.” Shirly replied.

Silas nods, but looks discontented with your answer.

“You wanna take a look around for her?” Shirly asked.

“Not just because I’m clearly going to lose…” Silas joked unconvincingly. “But yeah, if you don’t mind.”
You two scour the place until you find her. You wish you hadn’t.

Kagayaki and Shirly investigate the animatronics room.

“Something’s not right here.” Shirly tapped her chin. “I could swear this bandit bear had something else on him…”

“Hm?” Kagayaki asked. “Like what?”

“A knife. It definitely had a knife.”
JesusMonroePerson was signed in when posted
01:43 PM ET (US)
[December 24th 1:00 PM]
Shirly and Sachiko are eating in the cafeteria, having idle conversation.

“I hate Christmas…” Sachiko grumbled.


“Well, I hate that I won’t get a gift.” Sachiko admitted. “At least not from my Secret Santa…”

“Where do you get that idea?”

“Cause everyone cheated at this. Silas cheated too, he didn’t even pick a name! He thought I didn’t notice, but I did!”

S comes in a little after.

“Ah, were you guys talking about Secret Santa?”

“Yeah…” Sachiko turns to Shirly. “S already told me that he has my name.” Sachiko sighed.

“Right.” S nodded. “But I’m having trouble thinking of a gift…”

“Hey, now that I think about it…” Shirly rubbed her chin. “Follow me.”

The three of them headed to the boat, where everyone had first woken up. Shirly goes to the corner of a room and picks up a black cube, the metal looking exactly like S’s suit.

“I thought this thing was weird when we first arrived!” Shirly declared. “S, this must belong to you! You just forgot!”

“Oh, really?” S puts his finger to it. The key comes out and it opens. He reaches inside and pulls out a video chip and a strange looking key.

“Hmmm those look like the chips in firmware programming.” Shirly observed.

S closed the box. “I’ll have to sort through the other items later.” He twirled the mechanical key in his fingers. “But this is certainly curious…”

“Mysterious video chip…” Sachiko thought. “Gimme!”


“You can make it my secret santa gift! I’m curious!”

“Alright, here.” S handed the chip to Sachiko and she ran off.

Shirly and Casey investigate the acid etching room.

“God...this is horrifying.” Shirly looked green. Casey didn’t look much better. “Let’s just get this over with.”

They found a bloody knife a good ways away from the acid spill. A fairly significant amount of blood was nearby.

Nothing weird was found inside the crane. Or at least no indication of who operated it.

“Monokuma, I have a question!” Casey yelled. He showed up shortly after.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“It’s kind of weird that the body is completely dissolved but the suit isn’t. What gives?”

“Oh, that? This acid has special properties. It’s excellent at dissolving pretty much anything but metal. Metal takes a while.”

“Huh. Weird, but ok.”

“Wait a second.” Shirly goes over to the edge of the acid puddle and picks something up. It’s a metal cube.

“What’s that?” Casey asked.

“S had this earlier. It had...stuff inside.”

They picked up a piece of S’s armor and used it to take the key out and open the cube. Despite the size, it could fit objects larger than it inside. Like a 4-D pocket. They emptied it out.

“Let’s see…” Casey murmured, turning on a file.

Monokuma File #4:
The victim is Kagayaki Saitou the Ultimate Shinobi.
She was struck on the head with a weapon and then dissolved in the acid.

“K-Kagayaki?!” Casey yelled.

“We just saw her.” Shirly murmured. “This must be a fake…”

The only other things in the box were some video chips.
JesusMonroePerson was signed in when posted
11:56 AM ET (US)
You pick a name out of the bag: Lyla
LonePerson was signed in when posted
11:25 AM ET (US)
Shirly smiles upon reading this.

'My family, they're still alive!'
JesusMonroePerson was signed in when posted
11:19 AM ET (US)
You read the note Monokuma gave:

It describes your family, everything being cited with documentation. It details how they fell into extreme poverty as you suspected. They don't have a home anymore, and child services have separated your parents and siblings.
JesusMonroePerson was signed in when posted
10:49 AM ET (US)
You wake up at around 7 AM. Sleep had been tough for a while, and the beds certainly didn’t help.

“Ah!” You hear a scream right next to you--Lyla.. The other people in the cellar rouse awake: Molly and Casey.

“What’s wrong, kid?”

“Everybody stand up!” Lyla yells. She quickly overturns everybody’s cots and then pats them down.

“Hmph. You guys are clean.”

“I-Is something missing?” Molly asked.

“Yeah, my gun.”

You instinctively pat at your pocket. The master key that was found in the billiards room--you still have it. Phew.

“Your gun?” Shirly looked around instinctively. “Why would anyone steal that unless they were-?”

“Let’s not think about that!” Casey advised. “Let’s go look for it! Come on, Lyla!” Casey and Lyla left the cellar.

“Looks like it’s just us two, then…”


You talked for a bit about a lot of things. Audrey, Anissa, other recent events...it didn’t really improve your morning much.

Eventually Sachiko came down the stairs and went straight to her bed. Shirly and Molly decided to sleep a little longer too.

Eventually, they heard a faint gunshot. Nobody really knew what to do, and S came down shortly after. After some talk, everybody decided it was best to go check out the situation.

S and Shirly are assigned to investigate the lounge, kitchen, dining room, and main hall.

The kitchen doesn’t have much of interest. Some ingredients were used for cooking.

The dining room carpet and cloth are a bit...charred. “If I had to guess….” S thought aloud. “I’d say Akio has something to do with this.”

“If I had to guess, I’d say Akio is always behind something.” Shirly sighs.

They investigate the lounge next. Nothing seems off except…

“Wait a minute.” Shirly looks at the bottle of poison and examines it carefully. “Some of this has been used!”

“Y-You can tell?”

“Fluid ounces are practically my job! But yeah, the level has definitely lowered a bit. Monokuma!”

Monokuma pops up. “What? What? What?”

“The poison….” S begins. “What exactly are its effects?”

“It varies. It can kill you in an hour, or instantly. There are a lot of factors that depend. But one thing’s for certain, it’ll kill you. An elephant drinking a drop of that thing will die in a day. Guarantee it.”

The two complete their investigation in the main hall where they find nothing of interest, then get summoned for the class trial.
MechaQdoggPerson was signed in when posted
04:15 AM ET (US)
[Roughly 1:00 PM]

While setting up the workstation for Sir Cardor, Sachiko approaches you and explains her plan to you.

“A ceremony? For Sir Cardor?” Shirly asked.

“Er-- yes. Nothing major, you understand, but… the Cafe/Buffet seems like your kingdom.” Sachiko said. “Perhaps… you could make some coffee and snacks?”

“Coffee… well, I can prepare the machine, but I don’t think that the coffee itself will travel…” you replied. “...At any rate, you can count on me. I’ll grab some help.”

You nod, happily going about continuing to help Terrence set up his workstation. You’re happy to demonstrate your skills.

[Roughly 3:00 PM]
After the workstation is set up, and Sir Cardor dismisses you all, you enlist the help you need.

“Daaaaaaaale?” you ask in your sweetest voice. “I need your help. You see, Sachiko wants to set up some kind of ceremony for Sir Cardor and S and something. I didn’t really get the details, but the important part is that she wants me to demonstrate my talent and make me look good. I need your help to set up party things and help me in the kitchen and whatnot. Are you in?”

“I didn’t hear a please.” Dale says gruffly.

“Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?” you ask.

“...fine…” Dale says.

When you come into the Cafe, you realize that someone's already there-- Penelope. She has a mug of tea in front of her, and takes one last sip, but she doesn't look... well...

But Dale gets to work anyway, and so do you.

As Penelope gets up to leaves, Dale tries to stop her.

“Are… are you okay?” asked Dale.

“Fine… I just need a little rest…” you hear her reply, dreamily, before she exits.

You spend the afternoon making coffee and baking goodies that will make you look as good and as competant as possible. Dale helps out with the prep and cleaning, but it’s clear that you’re the star.

[Roughly 6:00 PM]

“Daaaaaaaaaale?” you said. “Could you be a dear and go get balloons and a Helium tank from the party supply room?”

You don’t hear Dale’s reply, but he probably said “Yes ma’am! No problem!” as he heads out.

You continue your preparations when you realize that it’s been a while since Dale left-- you go to check on him, and quickly look around the Craps room. You hear a snap, and a moment later, feel a sharp pain in your leg. Did something whip you? You glance around and see nothing. You inspect your ankle, and find a sizeable welt forming, and growing redder by the moment. Momentarily, you wonder if whatever hurt you would draw blood. But, it looks as if your leg isn’t bleeding. You uncertainly put some weight on it. Seems fine-- still, it smarts quite a bit.

Then you hear it-- Monokuma, over the speakers. “A body has been discovered! Students, please make your way to the Poker room!”


Shirly and Sachiko search the animatronics rooms. They find the door between the show floor and the Party supply door is stuck.

They continue to search, but while there doesn’t seem to be anything interesting in the Animatronics showroom, the repair room is littered with dozens of dirty cloths soaked in oil of some kind.

Just then, Monokuma’s voice came up on a speaker nearby. “Students, the class trial will begin momentarily! Please make your way to the ground floor elevators!”
Edited 03-14-2018 04:31 AM
JesusMonroePerson was signed in when posted
03:13 PM ET (US)
Now that you think about it, what you felt wasn't an explosion. It was more like something abrupt...something that took you off your feet
JesusMonroePerson was signed in when posted
08:22 AM ET (US)
You look down at your new bracelet, spotting your NG Code: “Revealing evidence you find
pertaining to murder.”


Thursday night, you come in to be interviewed by Dallas.

“Shirly…” starts Dallas. “That’s an awfully western name for someone that’s clearly not from anywhere near the US.”

“So is ‘Dallas’...” you say evenly. “I am not from the US, it is true.”

“And isn’t it also true that you came to be a barista… TO MAKE MONEY?” asks Dallas in an accusatory tone.

“Er… well…” you stammer. Of course you took a job to make money. Why else does one take a job? “Yes, I suppose that’s true…”

I knew it!” Dallas stands triumphantly. “And what else would you do for money?”

“I… ah… what?” you ask. “I am not sure I understand what you are asking…”

“Just this-- There are plenty of people in the world that would pay for a social experiment on… CHILDREN” he says. “It would be sooooooo easy for one of those rich persons to fund this whole thing, but they would need one thing…”

“They would… need… many more things than one, I think.” you say, more confused than afraid. “For one they would need a place to put us all… and a way to get us all here… and a research project that this would answer…”

“SILENCE!” the clearly silly man says. “They’d need a proxy person. Someone who made sure that the experiment stayed on track… an inside man… or… an inside woman…”

“And… you believe me to be this ‘inside woman’?” you ask, more amused than alarmed. But you try not to show it.

“Someone who’d do anything for money… but wasn’t in a position to make a lot of scratch” said Dallas, summarizing his completely pointless point. “Someone who was an expert at telling people what they want or need to hear. Someone… just like YOU!”

“Ehm… Pardon?” you ask. “Like me, you say? Uhm… well, I do not make CEO-level money, is true, but with tips and my promotion, I do better than enough to make ends meet. I don’t have extravagant tastes-- and I have enough left over to send something home to my family…”

“AHA!” shouts Dallas triumphantly. “It figures that there was a family in poverty! There’s allllllways a sympathetic family in poverty. Admit it, that’s why you’ve masterminded this whole thing!”

“N-now just a moment!” you say. “My family is in not so bad a way, I just wanted to send her some money home to prove that I am doing okay and she doesn’t need to worry…”

“Oh that’s what you’d like me to believe, Mastermind!” he gets more animated.

“Are… you sure you’re the Ultimate Detective?” you ask deciding you’d had enough.

“The one asking the questions here is me!”

“No… you aren’t asking me any more questions.” you say, standing up. “I’m leaving.”

“You better be in the foyer at midnight tomorrow!”

You walk out of the room with Dallas shouting after you. You don’t listen to this madman.


Just after the power goes out, you turn on your student handbook-- quick thinking that that would provide some light! You hear a lot of weird noises while the lights are out too. You see Dallas, running down into the basement-- running in an odd way.

You pay it no mind, as you seek to join the others in the Foyer. But before you get the chance, you hear metal shriek in protest, and find yourself propelled forward by some unknown force.

When the light turns on, you had thought that maybe Dallas’ auspicious exit was a bit more suspicious, and decide to make your way down to the basement.

You saw his body, unmoving. Dead. You see something sticking out of his coat. You pull it out...a photograph. You also notice something weird wrapped around his arm, and quickly take it off. A rubber band?

It occurs to you that you should let it be, and let someone else find it… But then, it hits you: Does letting someone else find evidence that I’ve found count as me revealing it? you think. Best not to take any chances with wordplay-- especially when it comes to your second language. You pocket the rubber band and photograph leave the crime scene to get someone else.

You are in an awkward position. Any evidence you find, you have to keep from the others, but you can’t straight up refuse to search for evidence-- you might as well have a neon sign pointing towards you saying “I’M THE KILLER”. So you do the only thing that you can-- keep your eyes on the ceiling and pray that nobody notices you’re not looking very hard for clues.
MechaQdoggPerson was signed in when posted
11:39 PM ET (US)
You are Shirly Cahill (real name Svetlana Mlynarik) The Ultimate Barista

You have always been successful. With tips and the odd promotion, money was not a concern for you. You think you might have even been out-earning Jonah once the tips were all added up. Maybe one day, you’d be able to visit The Old Country, but… not today. Even though you didn’t particularly enjoy your job, you were making enough to send some back home, and, after all, that was enough for you.

One night, you are simply sleeping in your room-- you and Jonah had gotten into a row at the Shop earlier that day, and you’d decided to stay at your place rather than bothering with him and his bullshit. It turned out, however, that you’d spend it less alone than you thought. You see a shadow at your open window, and before you gather the courage to get out of bed, a rock is thrown into your bedroom as the window is closed. You sputter, coughing and trying to breath, before you fall unconscious.

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