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Comments on HOT/OCB (an H/D Jane Eyre)

15
arale203Person was signed in when posted
02-07-2015
10:46 AM ET (US)
I love your work. Well done. It's sweet and touching.
Thanks for shared this beautiful story to us.
14
DeiStarr
07-24-2013
05:44 PM ET (US)
This was truly amazing.

In this modern day and age, values are so completely, radically different from what they were when Jane Eyre was written that it's difficult for many readers to understand and empathize with her horrendously difficult dilemma and the subsequent heartbreaking decision she made. It's not something that can be simply turned into a modern retelling - yet you've managed to find a way to do that; to come up with a retelling of the story that's interesting, faithful to the tone of the original, and relatable to the modern individual. You could probably change the names and a few details and successful market this story to Hollywood. :P
13
echo
07-28-2010
09:16 PM ET (US)
I love this story
its so different than what i usually read
and yet it is still one of my favorites
thank u so much
very fabulous!
12
LadyMurha
06-28-2009
04:47 PM ET (US)
This first part is fabulous. Simply fantastic. I don't recall reading a fic in the last year (!) that I have enjoyed so thoroughly. Being also a fan of Jane Eyre (although not Jane herself, her sweetness is a bit overdone at times...) your retelling of the story and the ways in which you have altered and changed it to fit Harry's world is fabulous, fantastic, amazing (adjectives can no longer do this story justice!) and might just surpass the original; Harry's 'tormented artist' pose sometimes seems to overlap Jane's determined and a little lost character, sometimes more realistic than her. Although I don't know if Jane would ever have told Rochester that she loves him in so fierce a manner as Harry tells Draco, it is nonetheless realistic and - if I may - very Gryffindor.
I'm moving on straight away to the second part!!! And thank you for writing this. You have done the H/D fandom a huge service.
11
Reader
06-07-2009
12:33 AM ET (US)
I like the story. The way you retold Jane Eyre, complete with believable mystery and backstory, is amazing. I do prefer your original a little better because the plot is more compact, but I'm glad in this version there are more character growth.
10
felicity
08-23-2008
04:28 PM ET (US)
Wonderfully done
9
ddz008
07-30-2007
01:42 PM ET (US)
This is a really wonderful fic, thank for posting it, the mystery was great... I didn't know what to expect. Draco's and Harry's relationship was so great. I'm glad that at the end they ended together. This fic has a really great plot and the think about Harry's visions is so interesting. It's sad that there won't be more of this... but at the same time it was a great way of ending it. :)
8
sally
07-25-2007
04:46 PM ET (US)
oh wow- this fic is amazing! i don't know how to describe how much i love it- i just wish there was more! lol
7
kelli
02-19-2007
10:39 AM ET (US)
wow. This fic was rec'd to me and now that I've finished reading, I must go and thank that person over and over again for suggesting it.

This story started out beautifully and ended even better. I can't wait to rec it to a friend... I just don't know how I'll describe it... "A slashy 'Jane Eyre' with S/M."?
6
Kate
02-19-2006
04:50 AM ET (US)
Bloody fantastic.....Jane Eyre is one of my fav reads of all times....you did it justice...Thanks!
5
Adamand
11-17-2005
12:54 AM ET (US)
This story was wonderful in too many ways, and I'm probably not going to be the first person who's thanked you for writing it.

I liked the way you described the interaction between Harry, Draco and the two children - All of the emotions that should have been there were... So were the thoughts really.

I noticed you think your going to write a better version of this story at some time, I'm not going to be the one to try to stop you, but I can't see any real way to improve it.

Thank you,
          Adamand
4
Black Dog
11-10-2002
01:24 AM ET (US)
Hey eq -- I've been meaning to rework my original emails to you into a proper review, but every time I try it just gets more pretentious and adds nothing. So, a long belated public post of some of the things I've said to you in private (mostly about sex!), on this really stunning story.

Your sex scenes are, indeed, all about the brain. I was fascinated by the way you had Draco begin his seduction of Harry by helping him eroticize himself in his own eyes, in the scene in front of the mirror. I love the head game, the roleplay game, that Draco plays with Harry when he induces him to come in his pants. And the sense of performing for themselves, as well as each other, and imagining themselves inside each others' heads has gotten thoroughly internalized by the end of the story -- for example when Harry comes while Draco is fucking him, and re-imagines what Draco must have felt with Harry inside him, someting he had not properly understood because Draco's impotence prevented him from showing it.

The "oblivion" sex, the violent and painful use of Draco's body, worked stunningly and gave me chills. You did a remarkable thing in the way the whole story set your reader up for a disinhibited response to extreme sex. Part of this was the sense of dislocation created by the gender games of part one; another part was the pervasive sense of mystery and disorientation that hung about the Manor throughout the story; and a third part was just the strength of the writing, a narrative voice that maintained a sense of enchantment and calm fascination with a world that threw one surprise after another at the reader. The result was that it was easy to accept that the rules of any erotic encounter between Harry and Draco could be rather arbitrary. Draco's impotence, for example, rather than being simply a disability, just provided an interesting and unusual playing field for the sex game between them, without being the least bit un-erotic.

In the "oblivion" scene itself, the pain, the outrage of branding, the loss of bowel control, retained their ability to shock on a literal level, but seemed more abstractly to code an erotic fascination with the texture and vulnerability of flesh, the violence of the urge to connect with another person, the mess of blurring physical boundaries. Pain is not my particular kink, but I found myself captivated, nodding and saying, "go for it, boys . . . do what works." At the same time, for those so inclined, it is also possible to read the total arc of the story in a more conventional and reassuring way, as the sexuality of "oblivion" gives way to a restoration of "normal" sexuality, once Draco gets rid of the physical drain of the curse and recovers his full function.

I think one interesting reaction that I saw in other comments, here and on your LJ, is people's need to distance themselves from any suggestion of enjoying the extreme sex. I thought one of the most radical things you did, was successfully make it possible to take the oblivion sex as sex, as erotic. And it took a lot of preparation, not to mention "negotiation," with your readers. I think you were explicitly negotiating with your readers in your A/N at the front, where you remind them that wizards can heal this stuff, no permanent damage. And I thought you were tacitly negotiating with them when you showed Harry hesitating about some of the things Draco wanted him to do. There is an intrinsic tension between Harry's fundamental desire, and vow, to go anywhere Draco needs to take him, and the more two-sided negotiation that is a necessary run-up to a kink encounter.

Lots more good stuff worth talking about, too -- about how successful this is as a sheer, compelling story, about the gradual tease of your characterizations of Fairfax and Poole, about the way you use letters and visits to the old Hogwarts gang to contrast with the otherworldly atmosphere of the manor, and on and on.
3
Dracavia
10-29-2002
06:07 PM ET (US)
Wow, I don't think I can put into words how I feel about this story, and do it justice. I enjoyed the warmth and love between the characters, and the background details that made the world they were in so real (especially the descriptions of the forest and gardens). And the ending, oh, it was perfect. I've read the shorter version, and it's nice, but I like this one better, you just learn so much more about the charaters.
As I said, I can't do this story justice, it was just so wonderful.
Edited 10-31-2002 05:54 PM
2
DancingRain
10-13-2002
03:52 AM ET (US)
Oh, EQ. I will be feedbacking you in private. This fic was wonderful, and touched me in a lot of ways I'd rather share just with you.

*hugs*
1
earthquakePerson was signed in when posted
10-11-2002
11:34 PM ET (US)
The fic starts here:
http://www.earthquake1906.org/hot_ocb_1r.htm
and I'd appreciate your not reading it unless it's "OK" (legally and emotionally) for you to read explicit fiction.

Thank you in advance for any comments you have! You don't have to register or anything, just...click and write.

I have not given up hope of making this much better someday, so constructive feedback is explicitly invited. Gratefully / eq
Edited 10-11-2002 11:38 PM

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