Link doesn't work.

The permalink doesn't work for some reason, but just go to http://kode-fu.com/shame/ and look at "Worst Date Ever, part 2", the Sunday, July 13 entry (currently at the top of the page).

M-m-m, nothing a potential date loves as much as knowing she'll be the subject of one-sided whithering critisism when the relationship is over. That's a big attraction to every girl.

Well, some paragraphs down from that icy revenge fantasy, he writes:
"By now, you probably have a half-decent idea of my mental state in 1998."
I think he's critisizing himself as much as her.

I think being able to play the accordion balances out the withering critisism, anyway. He should do fine.

psyork:
I save the withering criticism for the extreme cases, of which there are two. Everyone else, I have no problem with.

As for worrying about having stuff written about you when dating someone: it's one of the hazards of dating a writer with an audience. For that reason, I think dating a singer/songwriter or worse yet, stand-up comic is a far more dangerous proposition, and people still do just that.

Being criticized during the relationship isn't necessarily a relationship-killer either -- consider the case of the site "Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About" (http://homepage.ntlworld.com/mil.millington/things.html).

That does bring up an interesting thing (one I'm going to have to mention on the blog): I'm taking care to balance personal storytelling and respect the privacy of people in my story at the same time. I try not to give away too much information. The ideal situation is for people who know me personally to be able to figure out whom I'm talking about, while complete strangers to not have enough information to guess identities.


Rudi:
You are correct.

I thought the narrative description of what was going on in my life would be a far more effective literary device than simply writing "I was a very unhappy guy on the verge of totally losing his shit."


dong_resin:
Accordion playing is no guarantee, but I like my odds better with it than without it.

1. I've seen pictures of the girls you hang out with. You are the envy of most of your friends. I'm not so sure about the inefficiency of accordian playing as a chick magnet.

2. You were crazed in 1998 but you told the story in 2003. Nevertheless it was pretty good--I have to admit. And goodness knows you seem to have gotten as good or better than you gave. What happened to the British barista?

3. I've written (high masked) stuff about my husband too, but I usually hide it behind fiction.

The "Things We Fight About" sounds just about like my husband and me. We've fought about stuff just that petty. I learned long ago that giving up is the best course since if I don't he keeps explaining and explaining why he's right. But just for fun I'll fight it out sometimes. I'm not sure it means he's a psycho or that I'm a bitch, I just think we're opinionated --- be we don't kick each other in the head, mostly.

Psyork:
I swear to you that this is not an off-the-cuff smartass answer -- when last I saw her in 2001, she was dating one of Toronto's local she-male legends -- a woman in the northern hemisphere, but all man south of the equator. She broke up with him/her a few months later, and a later girlfriend of his/hers remarked that s/he was still obsessed with The Waitress.

When this computer fad blows over, I'm going to write sitcoms.