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I've been robbed on the street twice in SF, once in 1970, once c. 1984, both times within a couple of blocks of Haight and Fillmore, which once had the distinction of being the most dangerous intersection in the city, before a particular bar closed, and 16th and Mission became the new placeholder. In one case, I gave way "gracefully"; in the other I was checked out, tested, distracted (not given an opportunity to be "graceful"), jumped from behind, and hurt (glasses broken, black eye, and it could have been much worse).

The principal thing I learned was: don't be drawn into an interaction, because that's the whole process: to socialize, get you to stop, pause, and fix yourself as a target, and then to test your limits and reactions by crowding your space. In fact taking your sunglasses probably wasn't the target but the test, which ended when you finally acted appropriately by objecting and leaving. Test for what? To intimidate you into buying drugs, which you refused, or even someone to target in the future (though I hate to consider the possibility).

Part of what trapped both of us were the social conventions and misplaced liberalism that tell us to act civilly and with a certain openness, emotional genuineness, and assumption of goodwill to everyone we encounter. This only works in some places, if ever: certain small or closed communities, college campuses, working environments: places where an assumption of absence of predators isn't quickly punished.

A secondary, minor thing I learned was not to be fixed in space or intention, i.e. keep moving, and have alternate available routes always available (fluid-ambiguous). I was trapped at a deserted bus stop at midnight where I shouldn't have been, near the projects, having had two or three drinks. Asking to crash or calling a cab were the safe options. Walking out, say to Geary ~a mile to a bus stop with a more predictable or limited risk, wouldn't have been risk free but probably a lot safer.

In my experience, yes, unsafe or sketchy neighborhoods tend to be cheaper, but not that much. With some scouring the ads, you can probably find a share rental or an inlaw apt. that isn't much more expensive, is safe, and probably quieter. It might entail a less central location, longer travel times, a less vibrant neighborhood, and maybe roommates that you don't now have to deal with, but it's all likely worth it, or even necessary, depending on who you are (age, gender, size & strength all have something to do with your candidacy as victim, which you don't need to feel apologetic for).

You should have popped a cap in his ass. Oh, sorry, California, eh? Only the cops, criminals and elite are armed. Perhaps you could have stabbed the SOB. It's give and take. He takes what you have and what are you going to give him? Next time he very well may stab you and take your life as well as your wallet. If you're incapable or unwilling to defend yourself, quit crying.

Jer, I do know that neighborhood -- it's a lot nicer now than it used to be -- and I've been there on my own in the middle of the night. No goofy Fight Club quotes come to my mind either, just some advice I got from Sensei Takagi twenty years ago: "Say you're walking down the street and someone tries to grab you, what do you do? Well, first, don't walk down that street."

He had a whole hierarchy: First, don't walk down that street. If you have to walk down that street, look like somebody they don't want to mug. If you see bad guys coming toward you anyway, cross the street and walk on the other side. If they cross the street, run. If they run faster than you, [insert here several moves that end up with the bad guys on the ground while you apply torque to their joints]; then once they're on the ground, you kick them in the leg to give them a bad charleyhorse, and *then* you run away.

The martial art of Running Away was the most useful single class session in all my years as a student.

If you're staggering home late at night, alone, perceptibly drunk, in an ill-lit neighborhood that doesn't have a lot of through traffic, you're wearing a sign that says "LUNCH". I'm middle-aged, a bit dumpy, and partially disabled, but under those conditions _I_ could take you.

What would I do if I lived there? If it was important to me to be able to stay out late drinking, then go home alone, I'd take a cab. My advice all involves having other people around because I work hard at avoiding deserted areas.

i've had similar experiences in the bay area with in-your-face unsavory stuff happening right out in the open. the climate is mild and the rents are sky high, so the sleazeballs are right under your nose instead of behind closed doors. either you pitch in and get your neighborhood so fired up that it organizes to deny the difficult people their habitats, or you just accept the fact that there's a travelling party which has identified your personal turf as the weakest link.

ststrat is right. I walk/skate around the mission all the time. You need to look like you're possibly more trouble than you're worth. Street smarts don't come naturally, everyone gets burned a few times.

Eventually, every city dweller has to learn to say, "Fuck you man, you don't know me. Why you want to start some shit?", possibly while pointing to a nearby cop.
Translation: "I say old boy, I'm an unknown quantity that is mostly likely not worth an indeterminate amount of risk. Why don't we go on politely ignoring each other?"
It sucks that you end up having to do this, but it's the only thing I've found that reliably works.

Cory,

Return to the homeland. It is where you belong!

Edited by author 09-16-2002 11:21 PM
jer, all of the same kind of people live here. artists, musicians, professional athletes, interior decorators, web people, business people...there's a wide variety. by "in common" i mean that they are 25-45, childless, animal lovers, etc.

and houston is an armpit...heh! just kidding, they actually have a better art scene than dallas does. i don't know what's wrong with people here.

Be happy you don't live in Brazil. (From News of the Weird): Uncontrolled crime (eight times the murder rate of New York City) and a huge wealth disparity (most people either fabulously rich or appallingly poor, with few in the middle) have caused the 1 million wealthiest residents of Sao Paulo, Brazil, to protect themselves by living in 300 gated communities (and have caused some to avoid the city's crime and squalor by traveling exclusively by helicopter), according to a June Washington Post dispatch. About 4,000 people a year without helicopter access armor-plate their cars at twice the price of the car. One walled community (Alphaville) houses 30,000 people, protected by 1,100 armed guards who keep the grounds under constant surveillance and pat down the servants as they head home from work. [Washington Post, 6-1-02]

I live on that corner (on San Carlos Street). Give me the web address where I can buy some of those goggles so that I can stare at the dealers through the goggles everytime I walk by. In fact, it would be great if we could get a lot of people wearing them when walking by that corner ...

Nic:
I sense some hostility from you. Granted, at 19 - 21 years of age I maybe didn't handle things the best way possible. I lived in a building for $500 a month and knew I couldn't get that deal anywhere else. When I said I once or twice tipped them off that the NYPD was busting up people a few blocks over, I didn't mean arresting per se. I mean busting up as in beating the hell out of them with billyclubs (not that I'm saying it was undeserved.)
But any way, I mainly just take offence at being called a coward and accused of having no backbone. Guliani undoubtedly cleaned up the streets - that's great. If I had lived there longer, I would have happily joined in a neighbourhood programme. But as Denise said, there just wasn't such an option in 1987-1990. Had I called the local precinct and reported, what? that drug dealing was going on at that corner . . . well they would have said thanks and probably had a good laugh after hanging up. I'm all for taking back the streets and helping police do their jobs. But for most people living in poor neighbourhoods in most cities, having at least some sort of civil acquaintance with the local thugs is not a bad survival tip. Would I want to have them on my corner in an ideal world? No. But change doesn't happen overnight.

Denise, your neighbors in Houston said the same thing not too long ago...What field are the Astros playing in now ;)

No one is safe anymore in their jobs :( Don't you think you'll eventually get bored in a semi-gated community of folks that work at home that are all similar? I sort of like having the musician downstairs, the model upstairs, the wall st trader across, the writer down the hall, the party planner (read: guest lists) up on 7, etc etc etc...ok now you get to rank on me for living in a 12x12' studio for an exhorbitant price...but I 'lofted' my bed :)

I'm glad that you ONLY lost your specs, Cory.

I was going to write something trite about that putting up with a bit of filth and danger was the price of living in a vibrant city (and SF IS a vibrant city) but that's not true.

There's no reason or requirement, even in a hearty bohemian enclave, for city to have a proliferation of tormented beggars, thugs, junkies and crooks.

In the case of wealthy SF, they're there because they have passionate advocates who seem to consider them as a kind of wildlife, or indigenous culture, that requires protection from and the tolerance of civil society. They seem to consider insanity and substance abuse as alternative lifestyles that should be indulged until the person chooses to snap out of it.

Unfortunately, these conditions don't go away with largesse and patience.

Teresa, almost every single piece of advice you give involves other people.

What do you do when you're alone at 4AM without a mobile phone, 6 blocks at least from a subway stop, no pay phones in sight, and 2 thugs with big pants and no glowsticks come up to you? I could add to this and say you're in a neighborhood you're not familiar with (Lower East Side anyone? bit north of Rivington, probably staggering home after a few drinks...I'm not implying I've ever had a problem there but I can see the potential, also could think of a few places above 96th st)...

I dunno, one of those goofy Fight Club quotes comes to mind, something along the lines of Only when you have nothing are you free from everything...or something like that

nic, yay for kitties! charles didn't live in new york with guiliani as mayor. where do the poor art students live now? there was not a project like compstat in place when he was there. it's easier to be courageous when you have back-up. strength in numbers and all that.

as for dallas, of course, no matter what improvements are made we are never going to have museums, theaters, libraries, etc. the caliber of new york's. no matter what neighborhood you live in you have to drive to get there because zoning laws keep commercial properties out of residential neighborhoods. in fact, since moving downtown i have a rather large variety of places i can now walk to, the caveat being they close at 5:00.

i would consider the loft property that i live in as a neighborhood. more and more properties here are starting to encourage interaction among the tenants. we have a gym, pool, pool hall, planned activities and almost everyone here works at home. i've met more neighbors that i have things in common with than i ever did at our old conventional apartment.

i mean, i can't believe i'm defending dallas, but our jobs are secure, we can travel pretty much anywhere we want whenever we want and we enjoy a nice standard of living.

i suppose it's a matter of what's important to you. in the best of both worlds i'd like to have culture and comfort, but short of an inheritance or dream job, i'd never be able to afford to live the way i want to in sf or nyc. nothing wrong with that. to each his own.

good luck!

If acting like a crazy person were sufficient protection, street crazies would be safe. They aren't.

Consider yelling "Help!" as loudly as you can; or "Help! I'm being robbed! Call 911! Somebody call the cops!" Give your fellow citizens permission to intervene.

God that's a lame ass story.

You "let" him borrow your goggles?

jesus fucktard

Cory, sorry you were robbed. It happens to everybody at least once (and that's if you're lucky).
Worth reading: THE GIFT OF FEAR by Gavin De Becker. Yeah, he writes like Broderick Crawford on steroids, but there's some sound advice there just the same.

Edited by author 07-01-2002 10:13 PM
Sucks. I'm sorry. This'll hurt for a while, longer than some people will understand. I got mugged the first year I lived in NYC, hit in the head, robbed of my purse on payday.

Getting better took some time. I'd get to a new plateau, feel more clearheaded, look back on the previous period of recovery, and observe that I'd thought I was all better but obviously had been wrong. Then, a couple of weeks later, I'd hit another plateau and go through the whole thing all over again.

This may not be the moment for advice on how to deal with creeps in difficult situations, but you can come back and read it later if you feel like it.

First important principle: To negotiate is to lose. To interact on all but the most superficial, transient level is to lose. I don't care how it looks in the beginning. They have a complex script they've learned, and all its branches and variants end with you losing.

That's what happened to you today. I don't know if it'll make you feel any better to understand this, but you were worked over by professionals. You can't beat those guys on their own turf.

Second important principle: Get out of their script and their space as quickly as possible. "I'm not getting into this" is a useful line. Then walk away. If you have to, walk out into the middle of the street, if you can do it without getting flattened. Walk into inappropriate places: church services, exercise clubs, real estate offices, whatever. Try hokey maneuvers like waving to a passerby, then running over to him yelling "Dave! Thank god you came along! These guys are trying to rob me!"

If you're being threatened in a crowded situation, like a subway car, say "Go away and leave me alone!" loudly enough for the rest of the car to hear. This lets everyone around you know that what's happening isn't a quarrel between friends. If the emergency rope isn't near you, say "Could someone please call the conductor?" Odds are there's at least one person in the car who's just waiting for permission to help you.

Third: Call 911. Dial it the minute saying "I'm not getting into this" doesn't work. Don't stop walking, but dial 911, and let them know you're doing it. Those guys absolutely do not want to deal with the police. They have rap sheets as long as your arm. You're a solid citizen, and will be believed. If the situation dissipates, which is a fairly likely outcome, you can tell the police dispatcher you're now out of danger. The police don't mind. They'd lots rather get called at the beginning of an incident, when they can do something about it.

Fourth: Most crime takes place fast. Your window of opportunity for getting out of a dangerous situation is short, but in most cases the period in which you're actively threatened is also going to be short. The last thing these guys need is a scene that goes on long enough for the police to get there.

Fifth: Trust your feelings. Don't let yourself be embarrassed or guilt-tripped into volunteering to be a victim. If a situation makes you uneasy, grab your cellphone, start dialing 911, and head for the traffic island. Don't hesitate. That moment of hesitation is when they strike.

Now feel better, okay?

Edited by author 07-01-2002 09:51 PM
Walking through SF today, I became so annoyed with the panhandlers, insane, criminals, snobs, cars and the general insensitivity of everyone. Now I finally arrived home, two arms full of groceries, to an apartment full of sunshine, and there's a jazz band playing in the cafe next door, filling the room with live music. I can't stand 'lite jazz', but this is fucking nice! and what a moaner I was!

The great part of cities is the diversity. That's why were here, rather than the suburbs millions fled to decades ago. But along with economic diversity, there comes crime and urban decay. That's the reality of the world, and while possible, it's quite difficult to avoid in the city.

It's great that Cory got involved, just by phoning the city gov. City officials are only people, and will respond to sufficient pestering. Only with an injection of energy into the places we live, will the places respond with vibrancy.

Edited by author 07-01-2002 09:23 PM
Ya know, we might not be able to get your goggles back, but it seems that a lot of bay area people are on this thread, and I wonder if there is something we could do, maybe just a prank. Maybe a bit of street theatre? Or maybe someone besides Cory could get a picture of the guy and we do a flyer campaign ALL OVER THE BAY. And make it something bizarre; that would mess with him a lot worse than the cops going through their useless routine.

The "act like a crazy person" suggestion seems good, but only if you act like a crazy person who is going to fight like a rabid badger if provoked.

Cory, this whole episode just suxe deluxe.

But the only appropriately technological solution is both clear and overdue.

Two words: Emergency Jetpacks!

You're absolutely right, Automatic Monkey. I apologize, Sakusha, I overreacted. The suggestion that it is the mug-ee's fault when he/she does what survival instinct suggests REALLY got to me.

Edited by author 07-01-2002 08:19 PM
Denise: your cat looks just like my cat! Anyway:

You're right, it is a question of courage. It's not "like cutting off your finger to help plug a hole in a dam" since you assume only a risk of injury; it's like helping your neighbors build a levee during a flood. You accept some temporary danger to win greater permanent safety and comfort. Or, (to stretch the analogy) you move to safer but less fertile ground.

You suggest that the people who pressured the NYPD to clean up the lower east side were tenants elsewhere who wanted to move in. That's not what happened. Under Giuliani and Bratton's "Compstat" program, each precinct's commander is held responsible for reducing reported crime in his precinct. If the people who live there report crimes, the captain has to implement an effective solution, or lose his command.

So who was reporting these crimes? You quote Six to the effect that it wasn't his neighbors, since 90% of them were dealing and thieving and whoring. Let's say he's right (although that's ridiculous, lots of them were getting by on welfare). Let's say it was people new to the neighborhood, artists and musicians and actors trying to live in an affordable area while they started careers in New York.

At least they had the balls to call the cops. The people who got Alphabet City cleaned up included people just like Six, but with some fucking backbone. And no, there's no neighborhood in New York where art students have to kowtow to drug dealers, because the crime reduction has been citywide.

Your loft may be gorgeous, but your fiancee says you have to drive to restaurants and shopping and movies and cafes because there are none in your "neighborhood" - if you can call that a neighborhood. You can keep it, at any price.

I'll be walking by there in the next hour. A perverse side of me wants to ask them if they can sell me any flight goggles. (i'm kidding. humour)

What would happen if lookalike clone goggles were donated to other corner dwellers?

Props to you for publicly admitting you got punked. Yer a better man than I. My big fat male ego would've eaten that story. Anyway, you got all your teeth which are prettier than those gogs. Just suck up the encounter and next time, be a prick. Take Sakusha's advice - keep walkin', no talkin'. Btw, when did this become Pat York's blog? "Go away."?? What kind of horseshit is that?

I live in NYC (UES) and I find that when a bum gets aggressive with me if I just act retarded and incoherent and look absolutely nuts in public that they leave me alone. For instance, try punching yourself in the face if someone begs you for money. Or run into a wall. Or say real real loud "I'm not the one who's drrrrunk!" while flailing your arms about.

Or the Andy Kaufman routine when someone asks you for money "I don't have any money, I don't have any money...what am I GOING TO DO?!?!????" and start crying and wailing.

The day before graduation my roommate moved out (I moved the day after). He stole $200 of stuff FROM MY BEDROOM. Of course, I couldn't prove that it was him other than that he moved out the day the stuff was gone and he knew it was there and no one else would care, and his father is a cop in West Hayseedville (Tonawanda) upstate New York. So I filed the report with the campus police. They make the phone call to his house. The campus rent-a-cop was on a power trip and after the conversation with junior's mother, it was apparent that HE was the victim and wanted a nice graduation and all!! Forget about my losses (or my graduation)!

I feel for you, Cory :( Nothing you can do but remember you're not the one selling smack on the street (or you didn't just graduate to lead a loser life in East Hayseedville (Ithaca) New York).

Hi Cory.. I lived on San Carlos for 1 1/2 years, probably less than 200 feet from your current residence. I was never harrassed while I lived there, so I guess I don't have much to say except to offer my condolences, and to recommend that you try the excellent minako sushi just a few store-fronts up from country station.

Once, walking down Mission, 20 feet from where a dealer had hassled me (Did I want some rock), I jaywalked. The street was almost empty, no big deal. A cop walks toward me; I'm about to just walk past him when I notice he's actually looking right at me, and walking into my path. I stop. "Next time use the crosswalk." I was so flumoxxed it didn't even occur to me that I'd be hassled just 30 seconds before.

I still don't get it.

That kind of thing always, to put it bluntly, sucks. And there isn't much more to it.

Living right down the street from you in Soma as I do right now, I see and deal with the same sort of things on a daily basis. It's tough to get one's mind around, if that mind doesn't happen to be a reactionary one intent on avoid complex thought about complex issues. I don't want to continue dealing with these things, but I don't want any of the people (directly) responsible jailed or what-have-you. Hell, their lives are already a lot worse than mine, no matter how many bottles of Urine 45 they leave for me.

Downtown (and downtownish) SF strikes me as a great microcosm for studying how economics in this country *really* work.

Cory,

I used to believe that living well was the best revenge. When someone accosted me I thought about them when I next went to the park, or ate a nice meal. It helped, but I found that finding a way, however small, to contribute positively to the 'big problem,' i.e. drug abuse, homelessness, etc., was even more helpful. May I suggest that you consider making a donation to a drug abuse prevention or treatment center? It may sound crazy, but it may also give you the courage to hold your head up when you pass this guy. Even if it's (wisely) from a block or two away. :)

Cory, I don't blame you for feeling shook-up and violated. I think you did exactly the right thing under the circumstances. It isn't worth getting injured or killed just to save your goggles or some bullshit need to "stand up" to an asshole with nothing to lose.

Pranks work.

You might consider creative spending as post-trauma therapy. A quick search for roundtrip airfare to London from SFO returns a whopping $800+. You could factor in expenses like a hotel, car, food, and you find yourself well over a grand easy. Then there’s the whole bully problem. If it gets worse you can see yourself spending thousands on a shrink, a move across town, work performance issues, etc.

That guy took more than just your goggles.

Your situation is a very interesting problem space. I’m sure a budget of a couple of thousand will allow for variety in your retribution.

Sure, you could hire a couple of crackhedz to take him out. But what’s the fun in that. Use some of that money to find out who he is and who he works for. Fund a miniature smear campaign. Dealers rely on word-of-mouth.

Ok, hire a couple of crackhedz. I’m not suggesting that violence is the answer, but slipping a bum a half a note to bug the guy doesn’t hurt. Bums can do some pretty sick shit.

Start a fan site. I’m sure mypetdrugdealer.com is available.

Have some fun with it.

Cory,

I'm sorry to hear about what happened. I don't live in SF but I visited for JavaOne in March.

Keep your chin up.

Cory,
Certainly what happened to you was not fair, having been robbed at gunpoint while working at an ice cream store on Fillmore, in Pacific Heights no less, I can sympathize. Obviously, SF police have chosen a policy of containment near the Bart trains, so don't expect any relief soon. My comment was to the cliche, obviously outdated, nature of the event. No disrespect intended.


vacapinta,
Good to know that peculiar SF liberal elitism is alive and well, to answer your questions-
No I was not, but I didn't drive rents & housing costs by 500% or evict families to get my apartment.
No, I was not an artist, I was finishing my masters. I was evicted by two attorneys, but I'm sure they're very inclusive, whatever that means.

As someone who's lived three blocks from the 16th st BART for a few years, I know where you are coming from. One paticular crack whore who lived nearby was paticularly frustrating, as the cops said flat out it didnt matter if he really was breaking car windows at least weekly to snatch and grab stuff, it wasn't 'important' enough to deal with.

The counter tho is that violent crime in SF is very low; I wasn't there, but I strongly suspect he wouldnt have done more than verbally hassle you if you had not let him 'try on' your glasses. My building has a number of young women, some of whom work late night jobs. It's not reccomended by any means, but none of them have ever been more than verbally threatened. Small comfort indeed, bu thte main thing is, most of what you'll meet in drug markets like 16th and mission are scavengers, not predators- a little attitude thrown back at them goes an awful long way.

Your milage may vary, tho.

BTW; try out that Italian joint down on 16th just East of Potrero. They got a new chef, and his cooking is aces...

Frankly, I prefer the drug dealers to the scrubbed up gentrification of the dot.condo and gourmet sushi houses.

The Yuppie Eradication project is over, jaso. Go home. The rest of us here in the Mission are trying to build an inclusive community one which doesnt extend to drug dealers. You sound like a bitter, poor artist who was displaced by a richer, more talented artist. Eres un nativo, eh? No, I didnt think so.

Jaso, I think you've mistaken me for some other straw man. I work for a non-profit for very modest wages, live in an apartment that the previous tenant broke the lease on when she moved out of SF, forcing the landlords to give a rent-break. My trip to London was paid for by a technical conference where I'd been sent to talk about civil liberties; I bought them because a) I like how they look and b) I can't afford to get up-to-date prescription sunglasses and these fit over my regular glasses.

Finally, I think you'll find that Country Station Sushi is far from gourmet or exclusive, and has been on that corner for a long, long time.

1. Walk on Valencia St. for a while - a much safer place and only one block away. Typical of cities. Avoid the Syc/Mission intersection for a while. You wont run into him again and when/if you do he wont remember you. As important as this felt for you, this was nothing for him.

2. Try to not walk around alone especially at night. I say this more for your mental health than for safety. After I had a (much, much more) traumatic experience many years back I had nightmares constantly and was afraid of nightfall itself. Believe me that the feeling of paranoia will go away.

3. Try talking to Gonzalez. He's very approachable and hangs out in the Mission often. He's the most liberal of the city supervisors so... if you can get him to admit its a problem. Also, since he lived on that block, you wont have much explaining to do.

4. The Mayor is Democrat, true, but one who is pro-business and anti-crime already. Its the supervisors that have his hands tied (see 3)

5. If you enjoy the Mission and all it has to offer (I do), the vibrant artistic community, the nightlife, the funky, diverse, and intelligent people then dont leave unless that is what you were planning anyway. If everyone moves to yuppie enclaves like Cole Valley, the Mission will suffer.

6. That said, there are safer streets in the Mission only blocks away. Valencia or Guerrero streets, for example. You live on one of the more dangerous areas right now.

Edited by author 07-01-2002 03:02 PM
you could be living in a cool safe neighborhood with a lot of really interesting people.

nic, i'm six's fiance, and while i don't agree with the way he handled the situation, i wasn't there and don't know what the options were. i do know that it was 14 years ago and he was working 4 jobs to support himself as an art student. he has said that the residents of that neighborhood at the time certainly did not assist the police with the clean-up because 90% of them were committing the crimes. i would assume "the residents" were people in other parts of the city that wanted the area for their own. the really cool interesting people that live there now are probably paying 4 to 5 times (even allowing for inflation) the rent he was paying. it's called gentrification. and, in some other part of the city, some scared 20 year old trying to get an education is paying for his safety in the form of tip-offs and 40's. he did the best he could. personally, i'm not courageous enough to risk my personal safety to help the police "make a couple of cases". it would be like cutting off your finger to help plug a hole in a dam.

as far as deserving dallas, we live in a gorgeous 1500 sq. ft. loft that we pay $1400/mo. for. we live in a "cool, safe neighborhood with lots of interesting people". culturally, no, there is not a lot here but the decent job market and low cost of living affords us the opportunity to travel extensively. i've had friends that lived in new york and san francisco that spent so much time trying to make ends meet that they enjoyed their cities less in a year than we do in the weeks we visit those places.

1. Let me introduce you to my "you ain't talking to me policy". Having lived in the Mission and the Tenderloin I've have more than my fair share of threats, panhandles and attempted conversions. How do I respond? Eyes forward, keep moving, repeating the mantra; "you ain't talking to me". Works everytime.
2. HA-HA, being strong-armed of your cool new goggles, purchased in Londan no less, borders on cliche. As I mentioned above I lived in the Mission until I was owner evicted by a couple of hipsters and your story fills me with the warmth of natural justice. Frankly, I prefer the drug dealers to the scrubbed up gentrification of the dot.condo and gourmet sushi houses.

Cory: If you thought you were about to get beaten for your goggles, then you did the right thing handing them over. But street-level drug dealers are businessmen. Are these guys beating and killing people with any regularity? No, because then they'd be locked up. Will they take what they can get with intimidation? Sure, from people who underestimate their intelligence, and they'll have a good laugh about it too.

Note that your new police captain's anti-street-crime program seems to be getting results: reported robberies in the Mission are down much more than in the city overall.

Edited by author 07-01-2002 02:46 PM
There's more to San Francisco than the Mission, Cory. I hate it when people bash an entire city (calling it the worst in the nation, if not all of Europe!) based on a bad experience in one neighborhood.

I say this with love, Cory: Move. The Castro is awesome. Haight is still funky, just not rob-you-for-your-sunglesses funky. My neighborhood, Cole Valley, is a geek nirvana of coffee houses packed with people and laptops every afternoon.

I am sorry for your bad experience. That shouldn't happen to anyone. Just don't let it sour you on a great city. The best city in the nation, if not all of Europe, if you ask me.

Edited by author 07-01-2002 02:50 PM
Six: You deserve Dallas, you sad coward. 3rd and C is clean now, because the residents demanded it and the NYPD's Manhattan South Narcotics Command cleaned it up. My best friend was one of the cops doing the busting, and if you had helped them build a couple of cases instead of tipping off the dealers on your stoop, you could be living in a cool safe neighborhood with a lot of really interesting people.

Cory: That letter to the DA is a good start, but go to your local police and file a report. The cops will keep your community as safe as your community demands to be kept, and the statistical measure of that demand is reported crime.

Someone's been complaining, though: the Mission got a new police capitain, Greg Corrales, in January, and he's promised a crackdown (pun not intended) on street crime. In February, they made 238 arrests for sales of crack and heroin.

Here's an article from the Examiner that makes a couple of interesting points:

1. You may pay a lot of taxes, but your courts are underfunded. The SF courts' budget is based on local resident population, not local crime rates - and most of these dealers take the subway in from Oakland.

2. San Francisco is a liberal community that values civil rights over civility. In November, the BART cops brought in a drug-sniffing dog. NORML protested, and the dog was fired after 11 hours on the job.

3. The cops will do what they can, when the community demands, if the community doesn't then prevent them, and if the DA will prosecute, and if the courts will convict, and if the judges will sentence.

So what should you do? File that report, and start bitching forcefully and publicly about this in an organized way. The East Mission Improvement Association was quoted in the article - maybe you can help them agitate for more enforcement, or maybe there's a neighborhood watch you can join. If not, start one!

You might also try voting for a Republican mayor. I'm a carry-me-out-in-a-box Dem at the federal level, but Giuliani and Bratton cleaned New York up real nice. Think Democrat globally, act Republican locally.

btw, I wouldn't suggest trying this but it worked for me once, and I am not a big guy. I saw a bum loudly and rudely demanding money from a girl walking in front of me, and without really thinking about it I walked right up to him and with all seriousness, said hey man, give me 50 cents, with my hand out and a scowl on my face. The guy looked kind of shocked and slowly reached into his pocket and gave me the money. About a block away I gave it to the nice guy who sold poems.
I wouldn't try that with mr goggles, but most of the toughs out there are bluffing.

I am sorry to hear about your mugging.

When I scanned your post I thought you had been mugged in London - where this sort of thing is commonplace - not NYC.

Might I suggest you get a copy of the superb "Gift of Fear" by Gavin De Becker. He discusses the psychology of this sort of predatory criminal. The 'rap', confusing you with verbal overload, keeping you talking whilst he assess your likelihood to fight or scream - it is old hat on the street.

You might also want to read Donal Macintyre account of his own mugging. Macintyre, you might remember, was the investigative journalist who infiltrated amongst other things the Chelsea Head-hunters football hooligans and the sordid Milan fashion scene (where 14 year old models were essentially drugged and raped by their minders).

He set himself up as a fall guy in Brixton, South London, one night. The aim was to get himself mugged with whilst wired up with camera's etc. He succeeded. What followed was an amazing encounter with a charming Samaritan who ostensibly was helping him get his snatched mobile phone back.

The Samaritan quizzed him about whether he was a boxer (he is big with a broken nose) and whether he was prone tom fighting etc. Macintyre innocently confirmed that he was a soft middle class boy who was unlikely to put up a fight.

The guy pulled a 7 inch knife on him right there on camera. It was scary even watching it on the TV. He was so shocked he started weeping.

So what is the point of this meandering missive? Well:

1. Don't blame yourself for fleeing. You did the right thing. You life might very well have been in danger. As De Becker's book will convince you, trust your instincts every time.

2. Decent people like you are not programmed for the reality of sudden implied violent threat. It is not and should not be part of your consciousness. The dealer knew this. It was no contest.

3. There are some things you can do to prepare yourself for a possible next time. You might want to look at this Usenet thread about how to deal with this sort of situation.

4. You might want to get one of these books ( I have no idea if they are any good or not):

Don't Let Them Psych You Out by George D. Zgourides

Dead or Alive the Choice Is Yours: The Definitive Self-Protection Handbook by Geoff Thompson

5. Go to the police. Explain your predicament. But wait a while, a week or two, then go. In the meantime, walk tall and confidently past the dealer every day. If he approaches you, say to him "So when are you gonna give me back my goggles? You have borrowed them for long enough?". Smile. Be confident and direct. Do NOT show fear or he will feed of you like a maggot. If he threatens you point to you window and say "See up there? I have a nice little camera filming you boys and I down here. You lay a finger on me and the footage will be all over [insert local news channel] within an hour." Then walk away - slowly.

Regards

Limbic

Edited by author 07-01-2002 02:10 PM
A "30-year-old renaissance geek" living in the Mission and you *hadn't* been robbed yet? You were living on borrowed time and still are. That area's a dump. Fun and full of culture, but a dump. You've got people who are wondering "when should I update my website" rubbing elbows with thugs thinking "when can I get my next score" and it's actually a surprize when you get taken?

Take the experience as a warning. Reconsider your habits, lifestyle and surroundings with regards to safety, but don't become that old zinger: "a Democrat's just a Republican that hasn't been mugged yet."

<edit>
Yeowch, Pat York. Sakusha's being perfectly reasonable wondering why Cory didn't briskly jog away when Mr. O.G. wanted his attention. If you walk past the group of thugs cause you don't want to cross the street and hurt their feelings then, hey, there's a chance you might be a victim. <shrug>
</edit>

Sakusha, you're an idiot. You weren't there, you don't know what you would have done because you don't know all the subtlies. Your comments are prime assholery. Go away.

Anyone who would actually wear such stupid, attention-getting goggles is begging for attention, this includes attention from street people.

So is this a variant of the "she was asking for it dressed like that" argument?

I'm sure that they all have sad stories to tell, but when it comes to the point where they are slinging smack and crack in the mission and robbing people, fuck'em.

There are also any number of people with similar stories that don't rob, steal or sell drugs. It is what you do to survive and persevere from your situation that shows what sort of person you are.

Maybe that is a comfortable opinion one can only have from the safety of a middle-class existence though.

Yes, Mr. Wilson, I have been in that position. Ever turned your back and walked away from a knifewielding junkie demanding your wallet? I have, without anything happening to me. I lived in Downtown LA 1 block from Skid Row, and in the Lower Haight (before gentrification). I learned how to deal with these idiots. The difference is, I broadcast a "don't fuck with me" vibe, Cory broadcasts a "fuck with me" vibe. Anyone who would actually wear such stupid, attention-getting goggles is begging for attention, this includes attention from street people. So DON'T DO IT.
Cory claims this incident happened in plain sight of a Police station, but he also claims he couldn't just walk away from the 350lb junkie. So RUN, dummy!

Cory, you have just performed Act Two of a short performance piece of mine, "Why I Hate the Bay Area". I have contributed the entire work into the public domain, so expect no legal hassels from me. Your performance expands the artistic challenge expressed by the piece.

I commuted for two years to San Jose, four or five nights each week, and -- scoff if you must -- I was /relieved/ to get back to Tulsa, OK every weekend.

Re: your follow-up
You don't need to explain that you don't want to ship everybody off, as a matter of fact you should take this opportunity to re-examine the idea that people like mr. drug dealer should be treated "fairly", or that he has "rights".
The fact is, he and most of those thugs are just shit; they have learned to manipulate a system that you respect and try to make work. I'm sure that they all have sad stories to tell, but when it comes to the point where they are slinging smack and crack in the mission and robbing people, fuck'em. Next time you hear some of the local activists defending street people, you're gonna have a whole new perspective.
BTW, I used to live in the city too, but made the move to Berkeley a while back. My street is mellow, I can park in front of my house, and while I'm sure you can find trouble if you're looking for it, the biggest problem my hood has is day laborers congregating on the corner nearby. And I'll take young men looking for work over crack dealers any day.

Reading your post last night brought back dreams of some of my less pleasant experiences of living in downtown Oakland. I felt angry for months afterward in a couple of cases.

I thought of all kinds of things I might have or should have done, but the truth is that sometimes there just isn't any good answer.

Let me clarify something: a 350lb, 6'7" drug dealer, presumably armed, corners you and demands to see your sunglasses. If you don't want to get into a fight, you give him your goddamned sunglasses. I've lived in big cities all my life, I'm not naive about this -- if I could have walked away, you can be sure I would have.

yeah, and most people learn that that "dickhead 12-year-old" is going to kick their ass if they DON'T give him the ball. cory has said that if he could have gone past the guy he would have. cory is knowledgeable in lots of different areas, he's traveled all over the world and has lived in major cities. it's not like he's some hayseed that was taken advantage of because he didn't know any better. it's easy to sit back and play monday morning quarterback when you haven't had a similar experience.

the department of justice has a website for victims of crime that may help:

what you can do if you are the victim of a crime

it goes beyond losing a pair of sunglasses. victims of crime have similar feelings regardless of the severity of their experience. it is a difficult experience to get over.

Edited by author 07-01-2002 12:31 PM
Sorry but this seems like one of those lessons many people learn when they're about 7 years old. The dickhead 12-year-old says, "Let me see that ball you're throwing." You let the kid see the ball and you never get it back. You handed him the sunglasses in broad daylight? You could have just walked past this guy. You live in the big city. You are allowed to walk past people that suck and not deal with them, or tell them "No."

I feel your pain. I lived in NYC for a few years, at 3rd and Ave. C in alphabet city. Anyone who knows New York knows that is a very similar neighborhood (or at least it was in the late 1980s.)
All I can suggest is better the enemy you know than the one you don't. I made friends with the particular Puerto Rican heroin dealers who used the stoop of my building as a base of operations. It took several months, but after some chat in Spanish, the occasional tip that the cops were around the corner busting someone up, and bringing down some 40 Oz's to pass around, I became somewhat accepted by them. Yes, I suppose I was paying protection money in a way. But if you can laugh this incident off and become acquainted with this thug - "buddies", if you will - it can go a long way as far as at least getting harassed by anyone else on the corner.
This is one of the reasons we stay in Dallas. It doesn't have the ocean or nice weather or culture or many of the other wonderful things somewhere like SF does. It sucks in that way. But thankfully the cost of living is reasonable enough that we can live in a really nice place. If I had my dream job and was a bit younger, I think I'd stay put, though. Making friends with your local dealer is part of living in the city (unless you are unusually wealthy.) Chalk it up to experience and look at all the great things about where you live.
As far as the cops not doing anything, well I believe the corner you describe is one of the most notorious drug corners in the world. They are probably waiting for people to get shot - so they can make the murder charge instead of the petty dealing charge. And even if they do bust some dealers, well a dozen more will move in within an hour to take their place. It's the same as anywhere - money buys access to government. They keep Pacific Heights and Cow Hollow nice and clean and safe, and "contain" most of the "activity" to the mission.

cory i'm so sorry that SUCKS!

i just moved to berkeley from the mission into a bigger 1 bedroom, for about $600 less per month on a safe, quiet street close to supermarket, laundry, bookstore, BART and whatnot.

the airhead foofy vegan hippie yuppiedom annoys me somewhat but that's bearable.

i do miss the mission for a number of reasons but am happy with the new place all in all.

i personally never felt threatened when i lived in the mission. granted i was near the tamer 24th st station & didn't get to 16th st. all that much, but we did have our share of junkies, dealers and gangs.

anyway, come on out to berkeley if you want to escape the city for a little while! we'll catch a movie and nosh at saul's :]

'If you let them take your commisary they'll be punkin' you out the next night.' Take vengeance on high in any form you can.

I lived in SF for thirteen years, and found it profoundly depressing that the quality of life sank almost directly in proportion to the cost of living. I don't miss riding on overstuffed brakeless MUNI buses, ducking panhanders and crack dealers and having to step over sleeping derelicts and their by-products. Once a guy tried to steal the sunglasses off my head. The thing is, lots of people still want to live there, and are willing to overlook the filth and the expense for the privilege. Unless there's some mass exodus of taxpayers out of town, I don't see the city making any real effort to improve things.

P.S. The correct spelling of the Japanese drumming style is "Taiko."

violence met with violence? yeah right: an eye for an eye and pretty soon everyone's blind.

Edited by author 07-01-2002 11:43 AM
That really sucks. I've been living in and around NYC my whole life and have only been f'ked with once. Got out of . But really, you've got to go to the cops. It's so much easier to just let it slide. But like you said, you've gotta walk by this human feces and try and maintain your pride. Intimidation is their entire life. Give them a piece of what they're afraid of. It'll make you feel much better than you think.

- Mike
P.S. Hey Sakusha, you're smokin' dope. Never happened to you has it. Feeling compelled to protect your safety by complying with a request like that is a whole lot different than free will. It was quite probably the one response that kept him out of danger.

Hey, Cory... there's always *Austin*! Check out this article in Salon...

Well, we could kibitz about the definition of robbery, but I don't see the point. Whatever name we put on Cory's experience, he was shocked and unsettled by it, and I'd rather respond to that than try to redefine it into nonexistence.

I'm very sorry, Cory, though I'm glad it was no worse and sincerely hope it *gets* no worse. I hope you can take it easy on yourself for a while. Is there anyone local you can lean on for a bit?

You didn't get robbed, you GAVE your glasses to a thug. You could have easily just kept walking and not stopped.

hey cory,
ow that is a total bummer. but there are some things: in a situation where corruption is a given, anything that even resembles cleaning the place up could be at least as bad as the situation you already have. A-and street crime isn't going to go away anytime soon. So you're left wondering if there's enough in the plus column to justify living where you do.
This all happened to me in 1987 and I bailed, moved out to rural mid-Wales - looks like I'm the second person to comment in this thread who headed for Wales! - spent nine years there, waiting for cyberspace to happen. Now back in London as you know, but the bottom line iis, why live there? why live anywhere in particular, and if you're going to have a home base, however infrequently you get to be there, then make it somewhere you can feel at home and secure. You don't have that now.
rgds, marc.

Wow Cory, that sucks.

One day soon let's take a stroll so you can point out the guy to me. Maybe I'm dumb enough to steal them back for you. (Possible evidence exists that I might actually do that.)

But don't let me dissuade you from buying a little can of Bear spray in case I'm wrong.

;-)

"Someday a real rain will come"

Getting robbed sucks and it is hard to put things into perspective after something like that but...

1. It isn't worth leaving SF. I'd give my left ear to live there. I haven't lived in Toronto for a decade but I'm sure there's plenty of toughs there too. On the other hand, less interesting people compared to San Francisco.

2. I doubt Pulp Fiction there is even going to remember who you are the next you see him.

You wore those goggles in the street? And you wonder why you got picked on? Probably for the same reason you got beat up on in high school for wearing a propellor beanie - the guy was saving you from yourself.

That's exactly where I live, spotted cow. I had no idea Gozales lived on this block, too.

I just fell asleep for a couple hours, then woke up with a sweating nightmare about a home invasion. This hasn't worked its way through my skull yet, apparently.

wow, cory! You live right where I used to live, I think - On Sycamore between Valencia and Mission. One of my friends still lives there and so I'm over all the time. Also, Matt Gonzalez (city supervisor) used to live on that same little block. My friend is moving out, though - the gunshots, the late-night screaming and yelling is just too much for her. I would always take Mission and never once got harrassed but then I've learned over the years (thanks to *ahem* gangsters in my family) how to adopt a dont-fuck-with-me-I-may-be-insane attitude.

I lived in London for 25 years. Eventually paying sky high rents for one bedroomed flats in exchange for filthy over crowded streets, a public transportation system that doesn't work, and a chance at earning "big" money all got to be a bit dull. So we shipped off to the seaside (South Wales to be precise), now I earn as much as I used to earn but it costs me half as much to live and its a much better place to be.

Cities take everything of value from you and give nothing in return. Problem is, once your there you can't see or feel that. You become numb to the degradation, filth and disparate values around you, its then that This Ain't Living, in the words of G Love and Special Sauce.

Or at least thats what I think :)

If what you described happened to me, Cory, I'd be packing up the next day and moving the hell out of there, dream job or no dream job. I visited SF in January 2001 for Macworld and was amazed at how aggressive some of the street people were just a few blocks from Moscone. People were constantly in my face every day as I walked to and from the hotel.

Eight months later, a San Francisco paper published an editorial bemoaning how the city just might be beginning to start to sort of have a "homeless problem," and if they weren't careful it might become serious some day. If it weren't so sad it would be funny. I guess when you live with it every day you can get used to anything, but IMHO it is no way to live.

I'm sorry to hear that happened, Cory.

I lived in the Jack London Square area of Oakland for six years and I've visited the Mission District of San Francisco via BART many times. The only way to deal with people like that is to keep walking and interact with them as little as possible. Do look at them as you go by enough so they know you've noticed them and aren't afraid. If they ask you for something, look them in the eye and say a short "sorry" or "not interested" but nothing more. Don't stop or slow down. Don't smile or look friendly but don't look like you're actually challenging them either. You want to give the impression that dealing with them is routine, just part of life in the big city. The point is to make it seem like too much trouble and too big a risk for them to stop you. Just keep walking at the same speed--walking faster will just make you seem afraid.

Letting the guy try on your googles made it easy for him. There wasn't much you could do short of grabbing them off his head. If you went to the cops, he'd have a lot of options: disapear, say the goggles were his, say you gave them to him.

If this is a guy you see outside the 16th St. station regularly, you may be in for additional trouble because he'll feel he can intimidate you now. He'll expect you to do one of two things: say something about the goggles, in which case he'll have some fun with you; or avoid looking at him and skitter by as quickly as possible, in which case he may also decide to have some fun with you. Probably the best approach would be to just look at him without saying anything and pass on by at normal speed. You want to communicate that you see him, you remember him, and you're not interested in having anything more to do with him but you're not afraid and you're not changing your routine by one iota. If he says anything, don't respond, just keep going.

Or you could just use 24th St. Station from now on.

Damn. This is just a shame. It's really hard to believe a city that prosperous can be so ill.

Fwiw, I don't talk, don't make eye contact, walk faster if they talk to me and hope that they remember that assault is a felony that is not usually taken lightly. That's stood me in pretty good stead so far.

Of course when you're a decent-sized guy there's always a bigger guy who wants to try you out. I'm SO sorry, but I'm glad you have your glasses back.

My strategy on the streets is to always walk as if I have somewhere to go and ignore any and all panhandlers and dealers, even if they start yelling at me for not stopping to talk. I realize that could encourage an attack from behind, and make sure I'm not being followed. But I think in most cases on a busy street like the mission, they'll just look for the next mark.
I hate to say it, but strangers who approach you on the street rarely mean well, and you'll know if it's actually a couple of european tourists looking for Lombard street.
Mission/16th is just pathetic, though. The cops need to get out of thier cars and deal with it.

Jeeze...Sounds like you need to move to middle america, and
go to work for 8 bucks an hour and rent ya a small country house for 200 bucks a month...

Oh, I knew that. I just wasn't prepared to argue with an armed felon twice my size over a pair of sunglasses.

Fecolalia, I thought about that. I wasn't going to get into a fight with him -- he was 350lbs and 6'7 or so. He said he'd sell me drugs if we walked together, alone, into an alley. I wasn't interested in trying that one out.

Thanks for the tip on the goggles -- that's about what I paid in London. It'll be good to replace them.

You're right that this guy will likely not stop harrassing me any time soon. I'm going to write to the SF DA tonight and let him know what's going on on my corner.

oh, and one more thing. if someone on the street ever asks you to try something on, or "hold" something, or use your cell phone, etc., just dont do it. you probably know this now tho....

When I was in Naples (1984), it was really rough. There were mountains of garbage -- abandoned six-story buildings that appeared to be full of garbage up to the top story. Teenagers on mopeds snatched chains and purses. There was crap everywhere. We parked our car for five minutes on the street and someone broke in and stole our dirty laundry bag. It was amazing, a true kleptocracy.

I'm sure there are other places that are this bad (and I'm sure that Naples is better now), but it sure made an impression on me then -- I was 12.

be prepared to be robbed if you see him again. you, as far as i could tell, gave him no indication that you were going to fight back. maybe you should have just bought a sack of rock from him and then tossed it in his face as you left. or maybe you could just buy a new pair
either way, you'll probably be fucked with again. just be happy that he didnt actually beat you up and take what was in your pockets.

So I have to ask...Naples is the worse than SF? Just how bad is Naples then?

Your best bet is to contact a local political representative and ask them why the police are ignoring drug dealers so close to a police station. They tend to be sensitive to such questions. And if you do something general like this, they'll never realise it was you that made it happen.

I did something like this a while ago with people fishing off a major bridge, despite signs banning the activity, walking distance from the state's main police office. They got cleared out and it took quite a while (6 months?) for them to return, and in reduced numbers.