Now that we know she's not real, I can finally say that when I went to her blog, I thought it was the worst sort of sentimental crap and couldn't stand reading it, but kept my mouth shut because hey, she was dying and all, and there's more to life than weblogs. That's what we get for being too darn lazy to make friends with *real* dying people.

Not to be morbid, but today I ran across an acquaintance of five years, someone that let me stay at their place when I was in transition. It turns out he has congestive heart failure and can barely walk around without resting. What do you say to someone who is going to die? He says the Drs. have told him that there's nothing they can do--he's too big for a transplant, not a good candidate. He thinks his blood pressure medicine caused the damage. I can't even think about it, and we're not even extremely close.

Funny, Americans feel like there's nothing they can say to people who are dying. It took _The Tibetan Book Of Living And Dying_ to begin teaching me that death is as much a part of life as marriage, childbirth, etc. What to talk about? Talk about dying! Most dying people are very frustrated that no one will talk to them.

Can you help the guy lose weight? Does he need groceries? Do what your heart tells you to do.

Otoh, my daughter's friend was contemplating suicide so instead he committed virtual suicide and went online as his 'best friend' to eulogize himself. A fair number of people were sucked in. The person found it very theraputic.

I'd have to say that it would be a positive change for our culture if we could 'throw' a funeral for someone we know is going to die. It would have to be a more positive experience if you could attend your own funeral, let people tell you what a great fellow they thought you were, and for others to get things off their chest with you before it's too late ... and let the actual burial be a private matter that is more like a visit to the dentist, unattended by a large group.

The only problem with throwing a pre-emptive funeral for someone (or yourself) is that...what if that person doesn't actually DIE - and of course I mean in the very-near future? It might be sorta awkward to throw a "dying party" and the have the good luck/audicity/balls to go on living for a while...mightn't it?