Midday Connection Forums

what i would like to know is, how come a lot of the churches are starting to embrace this lifestyle. i thought it was wrong but it seems like its always in the news of some church denomenation that is changed to accept it. how are people who are coming out of this, going to think if they see the church changing. it's confusing to see it or read about it or hear about it on the radio. i suppose that God still expects each person to have their own decisions but still, i mean how can they do this and be helpful to people at the same time?

Journeyvision -- I love your last question: How can they do this and still be helpful to people? So insightful.

I believe they have decided there is no hope, so they are doing what they see as the compassionate response. But in Christ we have great hope. We are all born with sin, we all have chains, but Christ can break them. I cannot tell you how many people I've seen set free from this. Do they still struggle? Sure! I've been set free of the tendency to lie that I have had since I could talk -- but sometimes I am still tempted! Ironically, they wouldn't tell someone who was born with a propensity to alcoholism there was no hope and this is how they must be, but they do it with these chains.

But there is great hope in Christ. God does not command what He will not help us to do.

I also loved your "Raisin in the Sun" quote. I believe that when well-meaning people tell those with a tendency toward homosexuality that this is how they must always be that their dreams for a normal life dry up like a raisin in the sun.

Thanks for your wonderful questions and thoughts.

Dee

Journeyvision,

I am praying for you. God has a plan for you, a plan for good and not evil. A plan to give you a future and a hope. (Jeremiah 29:11)

We all struggle and we have ALL stumbled in many ways. The church is to be a hospital for sinners. Praying that God will show you who you can trust.

I realize there are a lot of "religious" people throwing stones and then others embracing the lifestyle. It's very confusing; however, God has always placed His people exactly where He needs them in order to minister in His name. You are precious to Him and He has fashioned you with His own hands. God has a person or persons that He wants to use to be a reflection of His character. He promises to guide us as we seek Him. His Word is a lamp unto your feet and a light unto your path. Stay in His Word.

I am excited to follow your journey. Please keep posting.

You have already taken the first and hardest step. You are talking about it. Even though it is not face to face, it is still a step towards FREEDOM.

Bless You.

so many years ago, i thought i was ready for God, i mean, i felt him calling me but i couldnt give myself to him the way i know he wanted me to. i knew i was choosing the path of death in choosing to stay in this lifestyle. i know that my heart was not in line with what God wanted. even as i tried, it was like no, i couldnt give up what i clung to so desperately, yet i knew that i would be like an albatross around my neck. even as i tried to come up for air this thing was causing me to sink lower into the depths. and i came to the conclusion that i cant do it on my own. i need a power or strength greater than i have. there's a 'want to', in me but finding that way out is harder than just making the decision to choose God.
does anyone understand? underneath all the toughness and stuff its still me under there, waiting. please dont look at how i dress or what i say or how i say it. just love and accept me for me.

Cheri,

This is in response to your response to journeyvision. What if you have have not ever had one precious dream realized and you are so desperately still trying to believe that God has a plan for your life just as the scripture states in Jeremiah 29:11?

Cheri,
Is it true that if you blow it with God, does he give you another chance? and how long will he wait for me to get my 'act' together? do certain 'sins' mean that his plan isn't for me?
I like your question Tricia.

Edited by author 08-27-2009 11:54 PM
Dear Tricia,

I can hear your disappointment. I am sorry you have not had one precious dream realized in your life. I am sure it must be hard to keep dreaming after so many disappointments.

Thank you for expressing how you truly feel. There was a time in my life that I felt I had lost all hope that things would ever get better. I felt so empty and desperate.

I was raised in a Christian Home; however, my parents divorced when I was 8 years old. This came as a big shock to me. While some children seemed to recover quickly after their parent's divorced, I did not.

Finally, 18 years later, I got some help from an outside counselor and experienced healing. I don't know all the answers, but I know that I have experienced the God of All Comfort.

I had to have outside help. I couldn't do it on my own even though I knew many scriptures, taught Sunday School for years and had been in church all my life.

Deep down I felt unworthy & satan was there at every turn with all of his lies. He is a Father of Lies. He doesn't want us to believe that God's promises are true for US. He loves to trick us into believing that God has a plan for everyone else, but us. He wants us to believe that we are too bad. For years, I thought I must not have been good enough to have parents that stayed together. How in the world was that my fault, but at the time I just accepted responsiblity.

Tricia, All I know is that God is real. His word is true and He can handle all of our questions, struggles, anger, disappointment, fear, and hurt.

When I hit ROCK bottom, I realized the ROCK I hit was God.

Also, I realized that even though I felt abandoned for many years....God had always been there. It was amazing that once I allowed myself to grieve over the loss of my family, how aware I became of God's faithfulness and constant care over the years.

Everyone's journey is different and I do not know why you have lived with such disappointment. All I do know is that God loves you. He truly does.

Praying for you.

Journeyvision,

One of my favorite passages in Scripture is Romans 5. Especially verses 6-8.

"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man some might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

He is not waiting on you to get your act together. He has already paid the price for you. Jesus died on the cross for ALL your sins: past, present and future.

satan would love for us to believe that some sins are too great for God's forgiveness and that we are hopeless.

Continuing to pray for you.

Thank you Cheri for your encouragement and understanding. I'm not sure where I am going to go after this is over. I dont know if they continue this. I wonder if Brestin is going to have something where people can write in and share. Does anyone know of any place? Do you Brestin know of any place? Do people talk about this online? Can I get to talk to someone online?

journeyvision, Fellow Soujourner, all Mid-day friends. I have just posted
"Let's Talk About Homosexuality" on my blog post (www.deebrestin.com) and
copied journeyvision's first dear plea for help. I pray this will be a place where we can help each other as we overcome idols of our hearts. You've been wonderful -- now I need you to go there.

I've also asked Lori Neff of Midday about a thread here, but haven't heard back yet.

Hope to see you on my blog!
Dee Brestin

Journeyvision, the website Dee recommended a few posts back: http://harvestusa.org is now up and running. I think it was down the other day when she made the suggestion.

Bless You.

Hey, How are you? I live in Murfreesboro, Tn. We are staring our women's bible study tonight and I'm going suggest we do this study. I think friendships are very vital to women. Our church was very small when we first started and it's has grown, I'm looking forward to it.

Hi Tennessee Sister!
I hope you do -- there's a sale on my website. (www.deebrestin.com)
Thanks for writing in!
Dee

i have been rereading your book in hopes of trying to get a handle on my relationships w/women or lack there of. also to help my daughter not have an exclusive friend. having a teenage daughter has brought to the surface my insecurities and loneliness when it comes to friendships. in school i never really had a good friend and was lonely alot. even the friends i had, really only talked to me when thursday rolled around because i often could drive to games/parties. come on monday, they would hardly look at me. but i still continued to want their friendship. with my daughter, she has a really good friend for 4 yrs now. unfortunately, there is another girl who is jealous of my daughters' relationship and interfers w/the relationship at times. this girl has said mean things to my daughter and has been a thorn in her side. as a mother, i see the hurt this girl has caused and my claws come out. this is embarrassing to admit, but i wish the girl wasn't part of the equation. when we don't have to deal w/this particular girl and her mother, our lives are so peaceful. i don't know if my daughter feels threatened, but i feel threatened for her. how can i stop these feelings of "relationship idolatry?" how can i feel like i want an exclusive friend for my daughter but at the same time know that that is not godly? i have such mixed emotions and i don't want to mess up my daughter. i don't want her to feel lonely or isolated or the odd person out. although maybe i need to work on the same, so i can be helpful to my daughter.

runner45
I so appreciate your honesty, your love for your daughter, your own insight.
It sounds like your daughter does have a very special friend and I can understand your protective instinct. Having insight into the way we are the way we are, wanting exclusivity, is helpful. Has your daughter and her friend read The Friendships of Women?

It would be beautiful if there could be grace and they could all love each other well, but I know that even older women can struggle with that. I do think overcoming evil with good is often effective -- if your daughter can show the threatened girl love and kindness. These kind of relationship struggles do provide teaching opportunities for talking about our love relationship with the Lord and holding one another "loosely."

I pray for you for wisdom, for your daughter and her friend for love and grace toward the third girl, and for each other. Praying for you too!
Dee

ditto, ditto Runner45.

My daughter is only 9 and had a similar experience last year. I am just now reading Friendships of Women and it is helping me. Just yesterday I was thinking about finding time to talk to my daughter about what exactly happened last year. I don't agree with how EVERTHING was handled last year. Primarily, the other mother just wanted to sweep it all under the carpet and forbid them to see each other except for at church and school.(Tthey grew up together at church since bed babies)

The problem was really never addressed as the other girl wanted to be able to have other friends, but only wanted my daughter to have her. She even got upset when my daughter invited other friends over to our house. She was very possessive and caused a big scene at my daughter's 9th birtday party because someone else sat next to my daughter while they were eating pizza.

My daughter's personality is clueless to most of all that happened. Thankfully, she is a free spirit. However, something really horrible happened one day at school where my daugther was lured into a situation and than purposely excluded by the other girl.

I started working through a book with my daughter on Friendships that I bought at the Chrisitan Bookstore, but it did not hold her interest. Now that I am reading Friendships of Women, I have some ideas.

One I want to try to teach my daughter healthy boundaries. Two, I want to make sure my daughter knows that what happened to their friendship was not all her fault. I fear my daughter may think it was her fault by the way things were handled.

Praying with you. We girls/women are complicated, but if we do finally get it right, our friendships are cherished treasures.