Face Front, True Believers! You must be here next time for a story we just had to call:
"WHERE WALKS THE NEW COMMENT THINGIE"!!
Excelsior!

Aw, you beat me to it, Mimi! Yeah, it's 1963 and Stan Lee writes every storyline, and personally murdered Cap, who is a real person. I like how Davey doesn't totally rule out the poster really being Ditko, just in case. Because any pro would immediately love Davey's scrawls.

Does anyone follow current Marvel? Cuz what is that "Parker sells his soul to the devil to magically turn back time and get out of his marriage" crap? Couldn't he just get a fucking divorce? It's not like it'd be the first time that happened in a Marvel book.

Wow. That's some vintage Davey=froth there.. but without the public meltdowns.

So.. lemme get this straight. First he ignores a civil question about why he hates Lee, just because the person asking is using a pseudonym. And anyone using a pseudonym must be OMG TROLL!
Then... he blames Stan for.. *gasp* current Marvel storylines being not to his liking?? Which has only been going on for, what, AS LONG AS COMICS HAVE EXISTED? How many times has ol' Xavier 'died', now? (In any case, it's been confirmed that he's just in a coma right now, not dead. Meanwhile, Bucky has taken up Cap's shield to carry on the fight, as faithful sidekicks/wards tend to do. Woo, way to jump the gun, Davey! AGAIN!)
Christ on a melon, Marvel canons have split into SO many alternate retellings and spin-off universes that you'd have to be certifiable to think that any major Marvel character actually STAYS dead. Marvel fans have their favourite writers and even the weaker stories have fans. What on earth is so hard about ignoring stories you don't like rather than reminding the Internet what a mental lugnut you are? GONT?!

Since Gattino is still blocked from David's DA, he couldn't really ask him why he went mad against Stan Lee in his latest blog. (Not that David would reply to HIM, anyway) So he did the next best thing and hired me to ask. Here are the results.

He also left a note. It reads, ah, where did i left it... here. Ah, it reads "Hey, my laptop died, haven't had time to be online. Don't know when HP will return it. Hi Lils!"

Sorry, I spelled "S&L" fonetiklee. I must've been channeling my inner Teddy Roosevelt.

...SNL bailout 20 years ago....

And yet the show remained unfunny.

Oops, I missed the Goodlow bio.

You wouldn't do it if the mike looked like a penis, ew.

WHAT THE FUCK.
Yeah, wait'll ED gets to that pic. I thought it was Jim next to a tiny steering wheel.
What does the next paragraph say? "In Espir3"? Oh, wait, it's titled "SPIR." So, In [Scar.PI.Redux] as well as any series of TV, Jim will narrate...
WHAT THE FUCK. He thinks there's going to be a Scar TV show! He does, he does! Well, didn't The Sopranos start as a Lulu download, too?

If there were any signals he gave people about whatever or not he was gay, he didn't know about it. In fact, he wasn't even aware of his orientation until his late teenaged years, when he discovered it himself. His family seemed to figure it out long before Jim realized it himself, but they're grateful over Jim's non-flamboyant attitude over his decision.

...

WHAAAAAT THE FUUUUCKK!!!!!! He didn't know he was gay? But his family had some superpowered gaydar? About how many thousands of times has Davey whined about kids in school calling him a fag? Isn't he saying here that, yes, you can be gay without you knowing it when everyone else does? He seems to be researching this by using his time-honored method of "reaching way up my ass and pulling something out."

Toni "has the same employment problems as Jim" and "he's also an expert in coding with the Linux Operating System"? What decade does Davey think this is, in which an expert programmer can't get a job because he's gay? If he lived in a community that bigoted, one would think that he'd put his resume on monster.com and get a high-salaried job in another state. Just because Mr Kins can't do better than McDonald's because he's discriminated against (for being a nutjob), it doesn't mean that being queer makes you unemployable.

‘quote-normal-unquote'

Thanks for putting quotes around the quotes, dude. No one could've figured out what "normal" might mean otherwise.

That Toni picture... is Gont starting to become a more worser drawing-guy than he was previously? That thing is atrocious.

Edited by author 03-14-2008 02:55 AM
Oh JUST what I need before bed on a full stomach:
Little window into Davey's tastes.
Even the protruding pockets and all. He's getting better at noting detail - even if it IS a look the rest of the civilised world permanently equate with the worst kind of trailer trash. he clearly found a photo of Britney for this - then went back to his tried-and-true 'make any old shit up' for her footwear.
And Toni, remember him?. The flaming queen who was happy to fuck a female fox?
He has a bit of hippie in him
...he does? WHERE? All I see is Davey attempting 'metrosexual'.
Jim's 'BFF'? Lollers. So.. are Toni and Jim still gay lovers? He's still talking about being 'very close' and domestic partnerships and all that.

And what the FUCK'S up with Toni wearing ballet slippers??

Edit: Holy cow, he's adding more as I type. Behold the NEW Jim Goodlow bio.
Imagine his surprise when the cops actually commended him for taking some drugs off the street. In fact, they even show him around the precinct and even let him do ride-alongs.
Yawn. Adam did it already in LBF. It didn't make him cool or appealing then, either.

He can walk a beat all right, and could even be in a car chase, but there are lots more physical cops out there that can tackle down a pursued criminal. But he's perfect for keeping tabs on skateboarding kids.
Oh christ, stop, I'm dying here. No nasty brutish physical activity for Golden Boy Jim, he's too busy gettin' down with the KIDS, MAN!

And my question appears to be answered - Jim IS still teh gay, but DISCRETELY..
in every other area in life, he considers himself to be as ‘quote-normal-unquote' as straight people.
But in his sexual orientation, he's still an abomination before God, gotcha. LOVE the extremely offensive airquotes, dude.

He's not even much into the erotic sex, but rather prefers to be treated like a wife from Toni. At the kinkiest, he'll cosplay.
So he's a bottom, then. And a right little bitch, too.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! What is sex if it's not erotic, Davey? He just bites the pillow and wishes Toni wouldn't wax himself so much?

Well, here's a feel-good story that sounds made up, even if it is from BBC-- A dolphin talks some whales out of beaching themselves. Weird.

Okay, I know you like The Lileks

I liked the Lileks just fine, on 9/10/2001. He became a frothing gooberhead the next day. In the run-up to the Iraq Disaster, he kept smugly announcing things like "Sarah McLachlan is against our glorious crusade, so I'm deleting all her songs from my iPod! That'll larn her!" I eventually tired of going to his site, just to be called a treasonous retard when I got there. Then he said that a columnist he'd loved all his life dared to question the invasion, so he wasn't going to ever, ever read his work again. I stared at the monitor for a few seconds, then said "That's a very good idea" and deleted his link from my bookmarks. That'll larn him! And keep my blood pressure lower.

his two old-recipe books reminded me so much of the InExOb that I wanted to go back and make sure he hadn't ripped you off or anything

His page predates mine, but my exposure to it came long after the InExOb was up and running. I found it on someone's page of links that had both our pages on it.

if Lileks could turn the Institute into printed matter, why couldn't the same be done with the InExOb? Would there be too many commercial/legal clearances?

Probably not; it'd be considered Fair Use. There is the obstacle of my extreme laziness. You don't for how many years I've thought of opening a CafePress shop to sell some t-shirts--even if I'm the only one who buys them--but I'm deficient enough in Photoshop to not even try.

Back in London I loved beef flavored crisps. If they sold those here I would be a happy chip-eater.

Whereas when I lived in Wales and saw the existence of prawn-and-chilli-flavoured crisps, I not only began to question my own status as a lifelong Anglophile, but I also suddenly understood why the Empire had fallen.

Actually, her "love labia." That one is true.

::sigh:: Guys, are we really gonna have to get into a far more complicated anatomical discussion than I would prefer? I specifically used the term, "love nubbin" precisely so this page wouldn't attract any more porn-seeking freaks than usual.

If you Google, "Marion Davies Rosebud," you'll see why I uphold my original assertion; while the Wikipedia entry only says "a sensitive part of her anatomy," as an owner of said equipment, I can attest to what the most sensitive part is, along with what is more aesthetically congruent with an actual rosebud. (Hint: it's not the labia.) Please don't make me have to further explain the substantial difference between these two items, k?

(That's more about feminine anatomy than I ever want to discuss on this page again.)

As someone who--regrettably--at one time did enough crank to know, the concept of strawberry meth just doesn't work for me; no amount of flavoring, sweet or otherwise, could ever disguise that pernicious taste, any more than the methadone I just finished taking for two years (for those who don't read my LJ) is at all changed with the sickly sweet cherry? berry? Beelzebub smegma? flavoring (I've heard other clinics use an orange flavoring, which I'm sure is just as nasty).

IMO, if kids wanna use, they're gonna use, regardless of how horrid it tastes or however uncomfortable the ingestion process might otherwise be. The need to self-medicate tends to trump 'little' things like how much meth burns (from being cut with stuff like Drano) or getting injection site abscesses, when the overriding objective is to obliterate emotional pain (or maybe just unintended alliteration). I'm just sayin.

Bill, I had to swing by the InExOb tonight, and please know how well it holds up over time; all I had to do was see the words,"Toast Party!" or "CHA CHA CHA" and I started giggling helplessly. Which reminds me...

Okay, I know you like The Lileks; I just finished reading his books, and I admit they were pretty hilarious (and, in the 70's book, the '2001' bathroom made me inadvertently gasp, "Ohmigod!" when I turned to that page); still, his two old-recipe books reminded me so much of the InExOb that I wanted to go back and make sure he hadn't ripped you off or anything (thinking, "Alright, though my former attorneys specialize in product liability, I'm sure they could refer me to an intellectual property specialist..." Sorry, somebody tries to profit from or fuck over my friends, they'll taste my steel, figuratively speaking).

Which makes me wonder, if Lileks could turn the Institute into printed matter, why couldn't the same be done with the InExOb? Would there be too many commercial/legal clearances? It's every bit as good (and then some) as any of Lileks' stuff (or the cracked.com stuff, for that matter--that list of stupid books made me laugh so hard that I snorted [which I do NOT normally do--I'm usually waaaay too delicate and feminine to do such a thing, no, really...]). If you could reap a little cred or money from it, so much the better.

On the other hand, if you feel that Killsy and Byron have enough to contend with, being beloved internet icons, that's perfectly all right. Just one question...

Your comedy's most likeable character probably shouldn't be the villain.

Okay, so what about your action movie?

Four words: Alan. Rickman. Die. Hard.

'Nuff said.

Well to be fair, you CAN use Crayolas with skill, as Marti leGrow does here, but then, she has actual TALENT(and she's a bit nuts. And when I say a bit, I mean a LOT, but she does have a point here).

But then there's Davey - who probably invested in a twelve-pack of expensive artists' colour pencils... and then proved incapable of even colouring within the lines. *headdesk*

Hey, I kinda look like Evil Dude! He'd need a mustache, and a pony tail, and feet that looked like actual feet, and body parts that look like that they'd be on an actual body, and I guess at Evil Labs Inc you can wear blue jeans and a pink polo shirt when you hang around with Mellicent M--
GREAT JESUS GODDAMN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?! And that TOOTH?!

And did he color it with crayons?! I used a box of Crayola 64 back in my Geocities page days--as an ironic statement. He--he's using CRAYON SCRIBBLES to color what he thinks is for his brilliant career as a future published novelist?

Crayon can mean "I'm doing this ironically, ha ha!" Crayons on your FUCKING RESUME means "I'm doing this because the other kids on the short bus won't let me on, because I embarrassed them." And then you just curse the cruel vagaries of Dame Fortuna, who keeps you from becoming the next crayon-colored Stephen King while you mop up puked Fishwiches.

"I think I failed on Mellicent Mouse's dress."

Oh. DO YOU NOW.
Because--I CAN'T REALLY SEE WHERE YOU FUCKING DID.
Was it the snaggletooth? That's really the only thing that I an see that's wrong. Because that's as far as I want to look at it.

"I wanted the color to be more closer to Amy Rose's original dress, like in this [link] ."

(rubs temples)
Sure. Don't have an idea of your own. Rip it off baby, rip it ALL off!

Is it just me, or does every time you see some Davey thingum, one synapse of your brain goes "Hoorah! Tis funny silly!" while another dozen synapses go "Shit. Eyeballs are making us see this again. AGAIN!" and then they just sob and quietly die?

Okay, it's been several days and no one has mentioned it, but you're missing more Davey shit: he's posting new scraps to his DA account as examples of the Scarlet 'sketchbook'.. the one where he once again says 'Everyone tell me who my characters are because I'm too fucking uncreative to do it myself'

"Revised" Jim - now apparently twelve years old. Camel toe and feet-hams prevail, although one of his slightly more skilled fans tries to be helpful.
Some evil dude. GAHD, THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!!! Same hair, same clothes, same stupid stance where a hip must be dislocated...

"Mellicent" Mouse.
I'll experiment with the dress some more, if that's all right.
NO! NO IT IS NOT ALL RIGHT! For Davey, that will mean returning in several months with the bows a bit bigger. I mean LOOK at it! He truly has no CLUE about forming solid shapes.

Edited by author 03-03-2008 05:06 PM
Bill, I hope that predicted 'avalanche of luck' on Friday went well for you

Friday? Friday...oh yes. There was a snowstorm, but it started after I left work and ended before I had to go back. Lucky, I guess, but since it involved snow, more of a non-avalanche.

They've sent me 2 emails since then, one titled "Bill, starting on March 7th, claim YOUR share of over 4,000 years of good luck energy" and the other "Bill, on March 14th, You Will Become the Luckiest Person Alive!" The LUCKIEST ALIVE! The Luckiest Dead Person is sooo jealous!
Note that those dates are Fridays, too. As a wise man once said--"TGIF, my son. TGIF."

I thought that "Rosebud" was Hearst's nickname for his mistress Marion Davies', erm, 'love nubbin,'

Actually, her "love labia." That one is true.

Casino Royale

That IS the Royale with Cheese! It's overlong, but it's awfully entertaining. Accent on the "awful." It follows its own 3-to-1 rule: For every minute that makes sense, the next 3 will make no sense. Having FOUR directors working on it separately and changing the script as they went along will do that. Also, firing your lead actor halfway through (a Mr P. Sellers) for calling out hungover, that also helps.

the fact that Davey (who I can't help thinking of after shooting rampages, when they invariably say, "He was quiet and kept to himself") now has access to mind-altering medication

Oh, he's been on those forever. And a good thing! If he ever went off them, that's when we'd hear about the Pontoon Beach McDonald's Massacre.

He was actually angrier--and as everyone here will tell you, far more interesting--on his previous meds. (See the classic NiTRO, wherein he murders Sonic and Pearl Forester) Back then, so much happened in his trips that they were incomprehensible; today, nothing ever happens, and it literally takes years for it to not happen (ie, Livewire, Scarsalot). Good on him for switching before the massacre, but the net is sadder for his increased sanity and dullitude.

Proofing this, I see that I typed "so much happened in his trips" when I meant "strips," but trip's actually a bit more accurate description of his oeuvre.

Back in London I loved beef flavored crisps. If they sold those here I would be a happy chip-eater.

It got to 73ºF (22.7ºC) last week, though it's 'just' 64ºF (17.7ºC) today.

As we say around here, you went from slightly above to slightly below room temperature. I keep the thermostat around 20ºC to keep the monthly heating bills to a nearly-manageable $150 or so.

Fruity chips don't seem strange to me...

About 20 years ago, Hostess tried to flog Grape, Orange and Cherry flavour chips-- like Ketchup, but with Koolaid dust on them. I believe they were on the shelves precisely long enough to establish that no one would pay for them, even as a novelty.

Alright, I'm playing catchup, sorry; the current board title reminded me of the song lyric, "I'd much rather have a caravan in the hills than a mansion in the slums" (~Neil Finn).

Bill, I hope that predicted 'avalanche of luck' on Friday went well for you, and congrats on paying off your mortgage! (Having the fundage for more catnip mice is *always* a good thing.)

Coming late to the party--as always--I'm afraid I totally sucked at the movie quiz. Even though I recognized several, I could only identify #17 & #19, and that's only because of MST3K.

I don't know if I could come up with 15 favorite movies, let alone quotes, but here's one fave quote from one fave movie:

Tommy: Have you accepted Jesus Christ as your personal saviour?
Hedwig: No, but I love his work.

Being nitpicky--in case someone else didn't mention this (I can only read back so far, then my brain starts to lock up!)--I thought that "Rosebud" was Hearst's nickname for his mistress Marion Davies', erm, 'love nubbin,' which was why Welles aimed it as such a conscious insult to Hearst. (That's what it says in Kenneth Anger's Hollywood Babylon, anyway, which I used to consider almost a Bible but now know to be largely comprised of scuttlebutt and innuendo. Still, it's a fun, mildly scandalous read, even if it eventually led to the Drudge Report and overall TMZ-ization of the media.)

Given how Hearst carried on the family tradition of yellow journalism--and ruining countless lives in the process--he had it coming, IMO. Poor Marion didn't, though; if you don't mind silents--I know they're an acquired taste for many--sometime check out The Red Mill or Show People (supposedly based on Gloria Swanson's early years), and you'll see what a gifted, charming comedienne she was. I think she deserved better.

I actually got the DVD of the original Casino Royale from the library a while back, and while I didn't finish watching it, that whole first part in Scotland was definitely indicative of a surrealistic masterpiece, no lie. Still, it made me lonesome for MST3K & 'Operation Double 007,' so I put that on instead. ("Forgot my pants!")

Even as a totally non-comics-inclined person--except for Los Hermanos Hernandez--I really love the fact that there's that actual Stan Lee action figure. At the opposite end of the spectrum, alas, I'm not sure what's more alarming, the fact that Davey (who I can't help thinking of after shooting rampages, when they invariably say, "He was quiet and kept to himself") now has access to mind-altering medication, or the fact that he's been deemed sufficiently angry enough to warrant being given said meds. Yeah, it's the latter.

In the same way that every time I've been overseas, I've felt compelled to constantly apologize for being American, Bill & Ernst's tales of dangerous wintry conditions have made me mildly mortified at what's termed "winter" here in NoCal. It got to 73ºF (22.7ºC) last week, though it's 'just' 64ºF (17.7ºC) today. Sorry!

I got the cheddar ones. Lemme tell you, they're intensely cheddar-y. I think I'll get some of the apple & cinnamon. Fruity chips don't seem strange to me since these aren't potato chips - IIRC, the first ingredient listed was rice. That made me grin, because I'm quite fond of rice crackers. Japan has rice crackers the way the US has potato and corn chips.

Sorry! I've been printing coupons for years, and there's a program for doing it that most sites make you download. Since I already had it I didn't have any problems printing, so I never thought that anyone one else would.

Yeah...they're GOOD. Very good. I'm no potato chip fan--they're too greasy and salty for my taste, so I don't eat more than a few handfuls at a time--but Flat Earth is so good, I might get them for NOT free. By paying actual money!

Which variety did you get? My store didn't have the cheddar ones, and the fruity ones seemed like a kinda weird flavor for chips, so I got the tomato ones.

Free chips are good. Flat Earth chips are tasty. Thanks, Thoughtty! I practically had to move Heaven and Earth to get the frickin' things to print, though.

Ach! My head dangles in shame at not recognizing some of those lines. Of course, I can honestly say I left "I've got a bad feeling about this" alone as too easy, but I have no excuse for missing Road Warriors and Citizen Kaneses.

Negs: Completely right!

Ernst: Right on The Swarm, not on the rest. Well, I haven't seen Buffalo, so maybe the line appears there. It does sound rather Hunter Thompsonesque.

Damn, I should've thought of Strangelove! Then my chosen line would've been close to that one: "Mein fuhrer! I CAN WALK!"

Chien was a silent and you know it, you eyeball slicer! I chose that line because it could appear in just about any movie ever, but when I identify it, many an MST3K fan will slap their forehead and cry "Of course!"

I'll give the list in a coupla days, in case anyone else wants to play.

Some of those quotes:

1: Star Wars
3: Plan Nine from Outer Space
12: The Iron Giant

Rabbit: Davey was responding to my remark about his repeated restarting his projects. After seeing him restart Scarlett three or four times, I had to say something. (I'm just glad that it's not Night Soldiers that he keeps rebooting.)

After years of calligraphy with dip pens, I learned something new last week which I'll pass along for context's sake-- they work better if, before inking, you lick 'em then let it dry. Something to do with protein providing a better surface for ink to hang onto than clean metal, so you can go longer between dips.

9- The Swarm
10- Where the Buffalo Roam
16- Dr. Strangelove, or H.I.L.T.S.W.A.L.T.B
19- Un Chien Andalou

Jim's world will be in badly rasterised 'tones', Scarlet's world will be in paint-bucket.
And once again, Davey banks any discernable 'improvement' to the work on fancier tools, like disposable fountain pens - which incidentally aren't really meant for drawing.
I use good ol' cheap Pigma Microns for Diva and a dip pen(Q nibs, as used by manga artists) for Thorn. I'll readily admit I'm not the greatest nib inker, but at least I use the tools the right way.

Not to mention, textures and brushes do not make ziptones. You use carefully-aligned pattern fills or use a specific ziptoning program like Manga Studio. I can't WAIT to see what this looks like.... oh, he won't be able to resist showing the odd page.
I wonder if he'll remember to credit all the people on DA whose brushes he uses? I made all my tones myself.

Wow, it'll be reinked--using ink!! Does the man's daring know any bounds?

"a Wizard of Oz feel: Jim's world is in Anime-style screentones...and Scarlet's world will be in technicolor."
WHY? What sense does that make? None. NONE MORE SENSE.

Uh, hi. I've been preoccupied lately and haven't had time to feed my Gonterobsession. Then I saw this comment on his latest picture and I about died laughing. Lesions to learn from? I think I might be hooked again.

I know it's not impossible to shrink screen tones. I've done it before, I just don't remember how. And I've used Gimp, so I know it doesn't automatically make everything pixelly and crappy. So what's he doing to his pictures that makes them look that way? Maybe he's working at a really small resolution?

And OMG, Lackadaisy how-to! *dies*

Oh nice, I hadn't seen that page before... so THAT'S how she does it.
Tones are an underpainting, colours are on top.
That, and she's an expert painter anyway.

Meanwhile...Davey starts again.

Since Screentones obviously don't shrink very well, posts on pages here will be very limited.
Uh, what? I use tones on Thorn and they shrink down to web size just fine. Moire problems only occur when you try printing resized stuff.
I've never used Gimp like Davey, though by all accounts it's a perfectly acceptable substitute for people who can't get Photoshop... so why does all his stuff look like it came out of MS Paint? Is anti-aliasing still a foreign concept to him after all this time? Look at Scar's head colours!
Heck, look at the whole picture. The last time I had linework that pixelly was more than ten years ago when I had no scanner and had to FAX my artwork into the computer.

Lackadaisy How-To! Perhaps we should send a link to Gontli-- she gives tips on lighting and depth.

Truth be told, an ugly, protracted fight between Stan Lee and Gonty, preferably with some kind of disfiguring weapon, would only serve the comic-loving public. They both have a grain of creativity which is being mashed down by a bizarrely hypertrophied ego (which in Stan's case is at least the result of decades of people saying how wonderful some of his past notions are), and haven't really produced anything worth more than an eye-roll in years. At least, that's this casual observer's take on things-- I've never been closer than the other side of a CRT to either one of them.

That perplexed the hell out of me, too.
What on earth did Stan Lee do to him?

Gattino, care to ask him? Especially as everyone KNOWS Stan Lee used to be his IDOL!

Please, Stan Lee may be old, but he's spry as hell and could STILL kick Davey's ass.
He wouldn't even need to. The guy is still a crowd favourite at comic cons to this day and Davey would be flayed alive with freshly-packaged action figures by teaming masses of comic disciples if he even LOOKED at Stan the wrong way.

Yay, new Davey stupidity!
His next project: redoing Scar. I'm sure that it will become brilliant the fourth time!

The last paragraphs are the best:

As for Acorn and Sarah Knothole? I think it would be safe to keep them in remembrance of BAM’s not so humble origins and not catch heat by Archie. The reason is the placement of the names:

In Archie Sonic, Knothole was the name of the Village, while in BAM it’s a family name. Acorn is the family name of the Royal Family in Archie Sonic, while it’s relegated into the surname of King Acorn Knothole. This jumbling should be more than enough to keep the lawyers at bay.

I only hope I can do better lawsuit proofing with the other inspiration behind the BAM remake. Let’s just say that if I ever meet Stan Lee, I’m kicking him in the nuts. Hard. I don’t care if he never even touch the creation of Captain America #25 and my prescriptions keep the anger off, I’m still castrating that SOB.

No, I have no idea either. I guess that Archie and Marvel are suing him. Funny how he only now just mentioned it.

"Whoa!! STAN LEE!!" Funny how times change. Marvel must be like Sailor Moon to him now.

Oh, heck, by the time we've got the personal helicopter (pronounced, I recall, "heely-copter"), global climate change will render bermuda shorts mandatory in Canada, while the glaciers advance upon Hanoi and Hyderabad. Still... Big Ass TV, check. Ubiquitous Microwave, check. Huge Fruit, check (notice they don't mention it's without flavour). We're getting there.

In the future, all men wear Bermuda shorts, apparently.

yes Ernst and Bill, even you cold-climaters, so hop to it, let's see those knees!
Mom looks about 8 feet tall.
Still, the picture accurately predicted the iMac. We just don't keep them in the kitchen.

Look out the window on the left - the house in the background is a dead ringer for Disney's 1957 Future Home

Still, there are plenty of mid-century Cali bungalows still around. Some digging around thrift stores and one trip to Best Buy and you could STILL have a living room like the one in the picture.

Edited by author 02-21-2008 11:50 PM
For fans of Thorn's art style, here's a nifty futurama pic from '56:
House of Tomorrow!
Even the cat is happy to live in the future world!

edit:
Didn't catch this on first viewing--What's with Grandpa wearing the gayest leotards ever, while wearing black stretch socks with shorts, just like every old fart to this day, and Daughter flashing cooze at her blushing girlfriend on the videophone? And the guy on the "moving staircase"--exactly what the hell IS he doing?! Buffing the personal helicopter glass?

Well, I was plodding around the bookstore last week, and considered a couple of Hellboy compilations briefly, but the $23 tag put me off-- so it's in the ballpark. The worry is that it will only be available in Italian, Catalan and Flemish, because if Asterix can get translated into English with puns in place, Lackadaisy can be transformed into something us monoglot dummies can't manage.

The Lackadaisy comic is indeed from an Italian publisher, although I assume not written in Italian. Bad news: Lackadaisy isn't listed yet, but their other stuff runs around 1200 to 1600 Euros, or about US$18 to $23, for a graphic novel. I imagine the S&H charge is also pretty harsh.

I'm going to hella get the italian book anyway.. Need to practice the little of the language I know, and it'll be worth it for printed Lackadaisy

No... but we can hope ^^

The only book I've seen her mention is going to be published in Italy, IIRC. Have any of you seen mention of an English-language book?

I KNOW! Lackadaisy book is coming, HAPPY DANCE!!

:)

Lackadaisy!
Out of sequence with the storyline, but awesome. Awesomer: She says the reason for lack of updates is due to pre-publication work.

Good heavens, what a tropical paradise you live in, Bill. Warm enough in February for snow to melt however briefly when it lands? Wow! We have to rely on idiots spinning their tires at intersections to get life-threatening slippery patches.

Very glad to hear that you're not residing in a radiator.

Edited by author 02-10-2008 09:42 AM
Does that tackle count as something happening? I'd like it to, but it doesn't seem to be advancing the plot one iota. Say what you will about the old Gontley, but the storyline did develop apace. Granted, they were stupid, derivative storylines, but beginning/middle/end was had. All we're getting now is the / bits.

edit-- stupid qwerty keyboard and its reliance on the left hand.

New solder iron through the retinas.

Melody, please wipe the chocolate mess off your face. It's possible to eat a Hershey bar by making all of it go in your mouth, and not half up your nose, m'kay?

"She sees cute things! That makes her a mass murderer!"
Scar: "STUPID JAPANESE PHRASE!" Thank gourd for Davey's consistency here! Because an American amusement park company would program their droids that way, as every Yankee speaks phracking random anime otaku lines. And who loves a murder machine that violently tackles toddlers. Hey, Melody wasn't doing much with that spine anyway! It'll grow back!
Unless they're having sex. And given who it's written by, that's not excluded.

All told, the most bizarre Scar of recent memory! Glad to see the strip back to abnormal!

Well, it's as conclusive as a 3 volume story crammed into 2 volumes can get.

I finished it today, and the plot didn't seem rushed. Although there was one thread left dangling, I thought.

I really enjoyed it! I was surprised that V2 was more drama (and violence) than comedy, but it sure worked. Even when it was violent and comic ("WE'RE THE HOODIEZ!") I'll admit I wasn't paying super close attention to your art near the climax! (I was also reaching the end of my lunch hour, and I read fast so I didn't want to get left hanging until I left work)

There's a Splut in every book, just cuz we luv ya, Bill

Oh, I'll bet you say that to all the Spluts!

Edited by author 02-07-2008 02:06 AM
Well, it's as conclusive as a 3 volume story crammed into 2 volumes can get.

If TP ever wanted to revive it, we have plenty of other stories to use..

There's a Splut in every book, just cuz we luv ya, Bill :)

Edited by author 02-06-2008 11:02 PM
I got my copy of Divalicious! 2 yesterday, and read about a third of it today. Great work, Mimi! The rest of you--BUY NOW!

I realize that there'll probably be no v.3, but does this volume end in a cliffhanger, too? I didn't want to skip forward and find out.
(edit: I should've read your page first. The story has a conclusion)

I assume that the sound effect of the disgusting prison chow being slopped into a bowl is just a coincidence. ;)

A snippet of it appears on The Carl Stalling Project Volume 1 CD. My favorite version is on the JG Thirwell side project Steroid Maximus. I spent about 15 minutes trying to find an MP3 of it online, but failed.

Thanks for the Raymond Scott link.

I think I'd heard that version of Powerhouse before.

I gotta say, I'd love to find a copy of Powerhouse as used in the Loony Tunes, which I think had a bigger, fatter orchestra sound, not just a small ensemble-- the one that Soul Coughing sampled in "Bus to Beelzebub"

 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEuwAh3LFvM might be it - Carl Stalling, that makes sense.

I'd ask him for something actually artistic, like van Rijn's "Night Watch". All those visible shoes... actually, it would be pretty amusing to see Rob Liefeld do that one, too.

Sigh. Does he really thing that just changing names will make this Sonic fanfic into an original story? Well... actually, it might, because the Sonic stories were so incredibly off-canon that without names it'd have been hard to recognize the series. So, who knows.

If I could ask Davey to draw anything, I'd ask him to do the ReBoot characters. I'm a big ReBoot fan, and I think it'd be hilarious to see his take on characters like Megabyte, Hexadecimal, Dot, and Enzo.

if you could make a totally valid and serious art request to David, what would it be?

Umm...are you making a weird joke, Mister the Man? The absolute only things I might commission him for would NOT be serious. Like "Draw my friend's favorite character as a present!"--let's say, oh, The Tick or The Little Mermaid or Dr Who--and not say that the friend is a Phrack Whore and will be both horrified and amused by said horrible, horrible drawing. There's no possible scenario I can come up with that would involve his "art" in an unironic fashion. Unless I said "Draw me a bunch of feet!" so I could send it to a close friend and admirer of canned hams.
I notice that YOU, Mr the Man, don't give no ideas as to what you'd want him to draw. Thus, your question is unanswerable!

Meanwhile...

"I’m happy to report that I’ve finished the [BAM] Closed Door Draft one day ahead of schedule. The file is currently at 77 and 1/4 K in length...As many of you know, the first draft of everything is utter crap. It requires at least three to make it look at least presentable."

You...you do more than one draft? You think that because your teenage friends correct your typos, that makes your work not utter crap? We're Phrack Whores, my squirrelly, mulletted friend, and there is not one of us who made it more than 10 pages into "Murder on Main Street USA Which is Disney World and Stars My Warped Fantasy Girl." If you knew we existed, you would understand what that meant.

"Blood and Metal began as a fanfiction set in the well-loved Sonic the Hedgehod Saturday Morning cartoon (SatAm, as the Sonic fans call it)."

Amazingly, it's been called "SatAm" for about 30 years! Yes, Davey, there actually were cartoons on Saturday mornings before then! Although I'm unfamiliar with "Sonic the Hedgehod"--did he carry loads of bricks?

Then he goes on about how he needs to pretend that he isn't just renaming the Sonic series, although he's pretty hung up on renaming the stuff he stole. Man, that is one bottomless pit of derivative imagination he hasn't got.

"But now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to shut down for a while and rest up a bit."

Phew, yeah, take a break! Plagiarism is hard!

Speaking of him, if you could make a totally valid and serious art request to David, what would it be?

I don't think that any premise can be too ridiculous. It all lies with the presentation. "Cartoons are somehow real and coexist with flesh-and-blood humans" is ridiculous, but Who Framed Roger Rabbit? pulled it off brilliantly. "Anthropomorphic robot fox suit with bodacious ta-tas worn by the world's least queer gay man"--not so much.

I third the recommendation for The Host. It's not your typical monster movie. The focus is really on the family dynamics. It comes across as a very realistic take on the genre, even with the somewhat ridiculous premise.

I'm a sucker for monster movies, so my recommendation must be taken in that context-- The Host is pretty darn good. The monster seems to have entirely animal-based motivations, which is pretty cool, even if it is merely big and not HEEEEEYOOOOOGE!

Have you watched 'The Host'?

Not yet. Kev had it on his hard drive, but we always ended watching something else. Then he deleted it, so I guess that I have to rent it legitimately.

ahaha, I just watched D-wars the other day! I liked the CG parts, and I'll give them credit for creating CG chinese style dragon that does look convincing and badass (hell, credit for staying away from the whole bat wing dragon look) but then I'm already a dinosaur nut, so anything huge and reptilian in nature is a-ok in my book (Godzilla '98? Hell yeah!) But yeah, this movie went as low as to stealing the helicopter scenes from Godzilla '98, and was pretty crazy all in all. BUT! I found that Korean movies tend to be like that, at least the monster ones. Have you watched 'The Host'?

(also, the trilogy of revenge)

K B Toys totally out of business?

Tried to google news it; there are a lot closing, but
http://blogs.jsonline.com/shoptalk/archive...okfield-square.aspx
implies some are staying open.

I know you have personal, profound, and justified reasons for hating them, but I'll always have a small bit of nostalgia for them, growing up in upstate NY it was literally the only toy store around.

HA HA HA for the Worst Toy Line list. I expected to find the Masters of The Universe there, and wouldn't you know it, they got the #1 spot. I'm a He-Fan myself, but, let's face it, MOTU is just full of cheese. Stinkor? Tung Lashor? Snout Spout? (Grizzlor, Mosquitor, Moss Man, Two-Bad...) Gimme a break. Next to them, Orko is the epitome of coolness.

Actually... I'm currently writing a He-Man fic, and its focus is the Snake Men, the cheesiest bunch next to The Evil Horde, Skeletor's minions, and the Masters. It's either going to be titled "Rise of The Snake Women" or "Hissistrata." After I finish I may need to have my tongue surgically removed from my cheek.

One of the things that made the first Die Hard a superior movie-- the ducts were only barely wide enough to pass through, there were fans, and that fella got filthy passing through them. Yes, there was a bit of overhearing plans, but it is fiction, after all.

Then there's the palatial ducts in Voyage to The Bottom of the Sea-- who'd have thought most of the interior space on a submarine was taken up with ducts 6' high and 8' wide?

Actually, I didn't know Diva 2 had even hit Amazon yet. Quite frankly, I'll be very surprised if Tokyopop makes any effort AT ALL to promote it. They certainly didn't with Diva 1.

I should probably stick some links up, I guess...

I've only laughed at them in an MST3K context, from the short Here Comes the Circus: "Oh, no, they're doing it clown-style!" still makes me laugh even now.

That's among my top 3 favorite MST lines!
Unfortunately, the other 2 are from host segments in those Russ Hagen movies you so dislike:
On a Hell's Angels styled kids cereal, and a drain-bamaged character from the movie (his best, and I believe only, dialogue was "AHH! AHH!"): "It's like being hit in the back of the head with a surfboard of flavor!"
On the "60s Freakout Toy Set": "Made by Four Dead in Ohio Arts!"

Bribes will be in the mail to you fairly soon

I've already programmed the Diebold voting machines to let you win Ohio!

I was driving by the place where the book liquidators used to be on the way home tonight, and I thought of Mike Nelson's book "Movie Megacheese" I bought there, and I thought "I bet that Lily would like that." Would you? Cause I could send it to you. Yes, I am that generous, sending you a remaindered book that I've read. Maybe I could mail you some leftover barbecue chicken. I suggest that you eat it as soon as you open your mailbox, before it gets all salmonellaey. If I'm feeling generous, I may even throw in a few deposit cans!
I am a saint. A fucking saint.

Edited by author 01-25-2008 09:01 PM
Since Mimi is noted for her shyness, it's up to me to point out that Divalicious! 2 is available for preorder...It comes out the Tuesday after next.

edit: You save 50 cents if you preorder.

¡Hola mis amiguitos! Yeah, yeah, long time no type...but I just thought of y'all, what with the artistic talent and/or appreciation in this group being way greater than average, after getting an email from my old high school boyfriend with links to his site; since he specifically asks for linkage, I thought I'd post a link to my favorite one of his paintings, "Still Searching."

I liked that one for being equally clever and humorous, but so are many of the other titles in conjunction with their subject matter. (Though be warned--there ARE several with clowns; I think John succeeds in upping their overall yuk factor, though it's unknown if that was his actual intent. Personally I'm with Negs in just finding them hokey and annoying; I can't believe that anyone in this relatively sophisticated day and age could genuinely find them amusing. I've only laughed at them in an MST3K context, from the short Here Comes the Circus: "Oh, no, they're doing it clown-style!" still makes me laugh even now.)

In any case, click if you're keen on retro-whimsy--especially robots!--or not, I just thought a little shout-out was warranted for the only guy willing to be seen with me back when I was still a resident of Geek Centrale, as well as having introduced me to a LOT of great music (Buzzcocks, Oingo Boingo, Soft Cell? I heard them all--years before they attained any success--via John).

Bill, I'm pretty sure it's pronounced, FAR-inn-djula. Your several references to bodily emissions reminded me of the name of an actress I recently saw on the cast of a Peruvian soap opera: Yuren. Spanish-speaking or no, that English word--like most naughty or scatological ones--has gotta be well-known enough to prompt the eternal question, "WHAT were her parents thinking?" (Ditto that for a Venezuelan student I once tutored named Hikler. He was really cute, but I had to wonder how much of that came from wanting to distract people from his name...it's not like Venezulans had zero knowledge of WWII, after all.)

And thank you for the kitty pix!! We love the kitty pix, more, more, MORE! (Bribes will be in the mail to you fairly soon; ditto that re: an email para El Zefster.)

If I paid money to wear a medallion, it'd be King Chochacho's.

Oh lordy. I just checked out the "Noah's Adventures" site. That's some funny crap! It's right up there with "Catechumen," which I actually own.

Edited by author 01-24-2008 07:11 AM
Clowns? Scary? Perish the thought!

Alas, something of my brother's I can't link to is the actually-scary clowns he did for his grad show, the smallest of which was seven feet high.

a girl female of the opposite sex gender

We prefer to be called Gyno-Americans.

Heh, I saw that "hidden" last line, and I'm not surprised that others here did too, or that Davey didn't.

Re the "clowns are scary" thing, I guess I'm in the minority in thinking they're merely annoying. (I'm not in the micronority that likes them.) When I read those articles I thought of the songs "Pierrot" and "Circus Magic." To see what I mean, check out the title card from "Circus Magic" ( http://es.geocities.com/takifull3/Imagenes...Kiu/wallpaprdie.jpg ), Yikes.

Edited by author 01-23-2008 02:52 AM
I honestly don't think he cares... unless the person engaging him has FFFF-sized FURRY boobs, they're male.
I think seaweedprincess was the only person whom Davey couldn't really mistake as a male... I mean, you'd have to be some queer-o to have 'princess' in your username, RIGHT 'Daveykins'?
Oh wait. We forget who's inside Scarlet.

But hey, I only have fucking JEM in my avatar, so gee, anyone could get confused.

Forgetting the inevitable typos--WTF is he talking about?
I think Davey's waiting for Glenn Beck to tell him whom to hate in the primaries. THEN we'll start hearing about it.
Oh man, imagine when he starts trying to argue race issues if Obama hangs in there...

I’m giving the interviewer props because he showed the one thing that would be missing in most people dropping out of nowhere and talking to me: Civility. As he said

Davey, I realize that you're a supergenius reinventing the arts of both storytelling and cartoonery, but if you had clicked on the "About Author" link on your interview, you would've discovered that it was done by a girl female of the opposite sex gender.
You also could've gleaned this strange secret by the fact she DREW HERSELF at the top of the interview as a person of vulvacity.

Didn't he also think that Mimi was a guy, and Zef a chickie-babe?

I'm happy to report that I haven't had gotten a personal visit by a troll. Once every blue moon I get a dream about some detractors banging down my door with torches and pitchforks. <shrugs> Proves that most of them are just cowards, anyways.

So--he WANTS them to attack him in person at his home? Otherwise they're cowards? What's he gonna do to them?

The main reason I didn't join the military because I knew in my heart that I'd go "Full Metal Jacket" on my Drill Sargent/Instructor the instant he calls me "Gontermaggot" just once, and I won't remember a single thing afterward in my court martial.

Oh, right, he's a superhuman killing machine. Lays waste to highly trained soldiers. Right, right. Beats DIs to death with Cheetos bags.

Even if I continue to get those occasional message telling me that my existence hurts them more than Ombama invoking Ronald Regan in a nice way

OMBAMA IN 2008!!! OR 2009, I'M NOT SMURE!

Forgetting the inevitable typos--WTF is he talking about?

I thought that I could do the unfortunate kids getting harassed online by writing a book that explains how they can deal with the trolls targeting them. The idea is that, unlike in the School Yard where people tell the victim to "Stand up for yourself" without telling them how to do that, I show them the tools that they already have online and the encouragement to do so, while they weed out the jerks haunting their screens and seek out for more supporting groups that are out there.

Obsess, obsess, obsess, then go post on Disney Loon. Revenge is Sweet!

MITT MOMMY IN 2008! Invoking Gorge M. Ush in a nice way!

Oh. Oh, motherload.

Davey just updated his dA journal with a link to an interview some brave soul conducted with him. On the journal entry, Davey gets all snooty with his 'SEE, someone was CIVIL to me!!', but the interview itself reads very much like someone just emailed him a list of standard questions and he replied with his usual long-winded frothing.

Funny how Davey call himself a non-conformist, yet still happily rips off whatever is currently popular for his projects. He just wants to REACH OUT! *sob*

Not to mention, Davey appears to have totally missed the hidden last line of the article(before the links to his pages). You have to hilight it to read it.

C'mon, it's a monkey wanting to hump a creature of indeterminate species. Why wouldn't he think that it was him?

Ahahaha His ego, ahahahahah.

Some of those Briz action shots aren't horrific or physically impossible. I wonder whose work he traced?
(And I can't believe he didn't--have you ever seen one of canned-ham feet bend in the middle before?)

Flash! The Briz is Back.

I even have a story to work on as well: A budding animator, (Tenative Name: Annette) is at a loss of what to do with the current trends in the Animation Industry,
Ooooh no. Not on MY FUCKING TURF, dude.

She ends up dressing him up to resemble a classic cartoon and shoots a series of Web Cartoon which she posts online on You Tube.
So she shoots movies of a giant live mouse... how does that make them cartoons and her an animator?
The 'cartoons' go Viral and the pair have to deal with the fame and hassles they get.
Lather, rinse, repeat.

If he takes this any further, who votes I should start on him with my most unwelcome reality stick comments?

oh, shudder - Johnny the Classic B&W cartoon star. In other words, no different from the regular Johnny.
It's like Oswald never existed, I swear..

And New Barflett. Iii don't get it. Why does Scarlett's stupid southern accent only kick in when Jim's wearing the head? IS she a separate personality or not?
The last two panels imply directions I REALLY hope he doesn't dare go.
I'm guessing Scarlett will see Melody and she'll turn into Cliche Japanese Fangirl and we'll discover she's been programmed to speak Otaku Wapanese.
That, or she'll see all Melody's black clothes and instinctively shed.

Bill, judging from that last link you posted, you DO read Achewood, right?

I'd always pictured Zib as being black

I always pictured them all as cats!
I rather meant in her 'experimental' sketches where she draws them as humans, as she did with Zib here.

From Lackadaisy's FAQ:

Q. Why cats?

A. When dealing in sociopathic criminalism and gratuitous violence, how could it not be cats? Don't take it too literally, though. It's mostly just a device I like to use for characterization. The mobile ears, tails, and big eyes help me emphasize gesture and expression more than I could with human characters, they allow me to be as ridiculous as I like, and, well, they're just plain fun to draw.

I'd always pictured Zib as being black

I always pictured them all as cats!
I also assumed that she drew them as felines because that was the only way she could. Why does she make them cats, when she draws humans perfectly? It just seems that any potential book would sell better if they were drawn as people.
Well, not to me, but most of the world isn't me.

The Deviantart version also has a Happy New Year picture from the Lackadaisy club. Also, Freckle's photo is positioned differently so he appears to be gazing up lovingly at that beautiful beautiful car.

God, I hate her...

Funny, I'd always pictured Zib as being black...

At first I thought you had said 'remains Illegally more talented than Gonterman!', and I couldn't agree more.

Holy cats, I'm glad I'm learning Italian, when she publishes that thing I'm ordering it so hard. Still, Italy's so lucky.

Of course I saw it, Kirk! I read your page daily, and I hope everyone else here does.

New Lackadaisy. Okay, not new strips, but a preview and HOLY HELL LOOK AT THAT CAR! And that skanky guy's PANTS! Tracy remains marginally more talented than Dorkerman.

Bill, did you see when I made http://kisrael.com/2007/11/04/ ?
I guess it's a little north for you, but still, kind of fun to see the swing of daylight...

"Me-lo, Me-lo-DY!"

Oh lord. I have the Saban SM promo somewhere on my HD. Must dig it out and rewatch it now.

P.S. That multicultural magical girl team really needs a girl in a wheelchair to complete it.

Yeah, the "handheld portal device" is a thinly-veiled ripoff of Portal. It's super-duper popular right now (with good reason), so of course Davey appropriated it. If he puts something popular in his comics, then it will become popular too! It makes total sense!

I tried rewriting the theme song to reflect the genius of Scarlettt PU, but I only got as far as naming it "Still Awake" before I got distracted by shiny things at work.

Stealing them from a PC/Xbox 360 game so popular, it's become a sort of meme. He doesn't even go to the length of stealing from obscure sources.

Most of what Davey says there is gibberish to me, "gravity guns" and whatever, but--he's just stealing other people's ideas and giving them new names, right? As that's what counts as "imagination" in his sad little brain.

Oh my god, check out the comments under Davey's last Melody pic
I'm not sure if commenter 'badger' is real or a very subtle troll. Suggesting to DAVEY that a real magical girl team should be multi-racial... oh my. He's all excited about the idea but I doubt he'll have the steam to get it that far. But damn, I want to see that :)

Is so totally different! Melody is sneaky!

Man, this would come up just as the red-hot, pulse-pounding action of the Google search was underway.
For those following at home, he's STILL on Plot Point One out of Fifteen, and now he's going on a side trip. That's why his hero Steven King's The Stand was so long--every 100 pages, he'd spend 50 writing about sheep herding or the life cycle of the banana slug.

Wanna bet Melody found her flux capacitor lying in a box in an alley? And he'll never explain why it was there?

A magical girl series like no other in that the kid isn't even MAGICAL.

Okay, who's betting this won't last five pages before he loses interest?

Melody explores a box factory. And for some reason she's stolen the Portal gun.

A magical girl series like no other, huh? Yeah, that's completely different than SAINT FUCKING TAIL!!! Oh, wait, that series was good.

*snigger* omfg, the picture of Roll....

Okay, everyone sync watches. I AM saving every piece of new art that comes from this guy just in case it goes down again...

(wipes tears from eyes)

ZEFIEL!
EXPLAIN!!

gontermansuckblkass's art might be 'low art' parody but it's STILL 200% more skilled than Davey's stuff.
Wonder what he thinks of my stuff, if teh trollz by his definition cannot possibly have any skill?

I think that was proven a few years back when Davey raged against that Sonic guy who referred to Davey's art as (paraphrase) "something steaming I find from my ass after a big breakfast at the pancake house." Davey declared that guy's art to be hideous, which it was, despite it being absolutely no different than his own Sonic abortions. Davey sees anything Davey does as the fucking Sistine Chapel ceiling.
(Note: this is because he's crazy)

Too bad about that guy/gal--the art was funny, like the gross-out freeze-frames from Ren & Stimpy. It was far beyond Davey's competence and still just probably dashed off as a joke. I suppose that Davey would sneer at Basil Wolverton, too. OTOH, you don't give yourself a name like "gontermansuckblkass" and don't expect that you won't get banned. I'll bet that it was deliberate Kins-bait.

What does it take to get banned on DA? One complaint from one tight-ass loser with no sense of humor?

Edited by author 01-10-2008 07:34 PM
flash!
Gontermansucksblkass has been banned from dA. Called it!

Haha. Okay, so someone on DA posts yet another journal entry saying basically 'Trolls are scum we are SO much more mature than trolls, why are people so MEAN on the Internet when they can be anonymous, the COWARDS!'
Which is always a cue for Davey to stick his nose in. I swear he must SEARCH dA for 'persecution' because he's ALWAYS there when someone complains about trolls. this is the entry and Davey's response is just down the page.

Just recently I have not one, but two, deviantARTS accounts created by people who see no other purpose in their lives but to denigrate me. One's an single troll who's artwork makes me look like a Renaissance painter,
Bwah? gontermansuckblkass's art might be 'low art' parody but it's STILL 200% more skilled than Davey's stuff.
Wonder what he thinks of my stuff, if teh trollz by his definition cannot possibly have any skill?


Just don't do anything rash to yourself in real life. Nothing would encourage a troll more than seeing someone become an internet meme.
Because everyone who has ever been on the end of a snarky comment is immediately suicidal. Megan Meier has become Davey's new poster child.

Oh, okay. Yeah, he's aware the group exists (it's only been around for a day). Their main survival tactic appears to be effusive false flattery ;)
But that gontermansucksblkass guy just came out of nowhere, I've never seen him before.

Sage - welcome aboard. But not all of us on dA are slimy Naruto fangirls ;)
I eat slimy fangirls for breakfast. I prefer Disney, though, they're more colourful.

Edited by author 01-08-2008 12:43 AM
Oh, and as an aside, I'm guessing dA stands for deviantART, where all the slimy internet Naruto fangirls post their MS Painted fan art.

... but you already knew that.

The fanclub's probably one'a them newfangled club-things that I never got into.

Hi Bill! Thanks for the years of laughs and wry commentary! I dig it.

I remember the grand ol' days of the InExOb, and decided to show said archives to some friends who were previously unaware to its existence. They had a grand ol' time laughing and yukking it up in usual fashion befitting of people who can understand a bit of crazy.

I've been reading back on your old news (really just hitting ctrl+f and searching for keywords. I'm not particularly interested in what happened to some guy in like, 2004), mostly for the SHAWTs and pictures of Kill Kill & Byron. Your wry little witticisms and nods to unpopular culture give me a smile every day.

Mimi: I meant "the gontefans dA group" he mentions. I assumed it was one of those 2 links you gave. Maybe I was wrong. I was having severe problems thinking, what with the bodacious tatas and AHHHH-hahahha! (falls over again)
What is "the gontefans dA group", anyway?

/me falls over laughing

You could perch a clock radio on that rack. Hell, there's room enough for a whole turntable!

Now that I've given in to the dark side and joined DA I'm half tempted to watch him. I'm only afraid that he'd watch me back. And stuff.

Oh, he also mentions Mimi's links in his comments.
Whoa, wait. Where is that?

If you mean the 'shallow troll' quip, I thought that referred to the anti-ED crowd. Nothing 'happened' to me, I just stopped commenting. Nothing hurting me.

Edited by author 01-07-2008 07:38 PM
Okay, I've looked at that last panel like 19 times, and I still laugh. So lemme try again with the link:
Looka the SIZA them things!!

That worked.
And forget the gigantical ass-boobs, his upper arm is WIDER THAN HIS HEAD.

I'm sure Davey will attack those as hack art, forgetting the bible's admonition, "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

By which I mean ignoring the fucking GIANT SEQUOIA JAMMED UP HIS CORNEA. (Note: QT's not letting linked posts through--but you know where it is anyway, on his DA account)

Outside of the "Could be, could be, taken on holiday, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more!" dialogue peanut, look at that last panel.

WHAT THE PHRACK?!?!?!?!
(falls on floor pissing self with laughter)
T&A!! Meaning, he's got the world's biggest tits combined with the world's biggest ass! IN HIS SHIRT!
(falls down again)

Oh, he also mentions Mimi's links in his comments.

Okay, who's responsible for this? Cuz while it's great to see some Phrack Whores out in public, I'm counting down until Davey gets it banned in a fit of pique ;)
The 'fanart' so far is a hundred times better than ANYTHING Davey could expect to get in all sincerity from his supposed real fans.

This guy's art is AWESOME, but he's also getting a Ban watch. DA banned seaweedprincess for doing unflattering parody art of someone else's art.

The drawing style for Thorn is specifically based off fifties design. If I wanted to revive As If!, I'd give it its own style. Besides, I don't define Thorn by its setting, I figure if the characters are strong enough, it doesn't matter what the setting/time is.
I don't believe a period comic alienates it from modern audiences. After all, we still have Hagar and B.C. They should be dropped because they're tired and worn out, not because readers can't identify with them.
Besides, 'retro' is hot ;)

Speaking as a reader of comics, and not creator of any, it's seemed to me since "Cathy" that the syndicates want something that can be pigeonholed. It went from working girl (Cathy) to cubicle drone (Dilbert) to stay-at-home dad (Adam@home) to sports involving girls (Girls in Sports--YES, it exists) to an actual strip about nothing but soccer.

Sure, why shouldn't there be an Hispanic comic, like Baldo? Or one set in a black university, like Watch Your Head? Or one for fat, chain-smoking middle-aged black men who hate "rap," like Curtis? Nothing, unless your strip doesn't fit a predefined demographic niche.

Such as a strip set in the 50s. I wonder if the syndicate didn't just stop right there, wondering who'd read that. People who were kids or teens in 1955? Hey, those relics are the only people still buying our papers! Forget the quality of the art and humor, they're the only people who'd read this strip! Rejected!

I wonder what they'd think if you gave them the same strip, except set the childhood in--oh, I dunno, the 1980s?
You could even use the same drawing style. Some people will wonder "What's with the UPA?", but Cathy and Dilbert set the daily comic strip bar for art to "Don't even notice it anymore."

The main reason I kept a newspaper sub was because of the comics and the Sunday coupons. The main reason that I didn't keep it is because I can get those on the net. The paper would have to give me a better reason to buy it than to ignore Mary Worth, Cathy and Family Circus before I subbed again. Like a good comic.

The comics editor from the Washington Post Writer's Group said Rosie was too strident to be likeable.

B-b-but that's what makes her interesting! There's plenty of precocious Family-Circus-wannabe tots running around the comic pages, but how many of them want to take over the world? *sigh* Rosie will find her niche, I'm sure of it. Humour and artistic skill win in the long run.

Now I'm imagining a battle to the death between Rosie and Dolly. Maybe Rosie can take out Anthony, too. ;)

Thanks, guys. She's fun to draw :)
To be quite honest, I've semi-given up on syndication. Even though I try and make Thorn as true to old-fashioned character-driven comedy as possible, I don't think syndicates want that anymore. They want bland, observational comics. Certainly humour nor artistic skill really matter any more.
Arguably, if Sparky created Peanuts today, I doubt he'd have been accepted.

As for christmas comics, I hate treacle. Most of the time it comes across as phoned-in, insincere pap. I wish I could have had more time to fit in some jokes about Rosie's wish list of presents and so on, but there's only so much you can fit into 9-12 pre-Xmas strips ;)
Maybe next year.

The comics editor from the Washington Post Writer's Group said Rosie was too strident to be likeable.
...and here I am trying really hard to make sure she's NOT one-dimensionally bad all the time. *sigh*

Now I’m back from the holidays and that I’m less than 30 days to go, I can put the nose to that grindstone:

Now that is one fine writer.

I couldn't finish S:PI either. I tried skipping to the end to see whodunnit, but it wouldn't have made any sense even if I'd read the whole thing. For some reason, it ends with a bonus retelling of the first few Scarlett strips, wherein we are reminded that Jim is GAY GAY GAY. But not the icky kind.

Have I mentioned lately how much I love Thorn? I love Thorn. The Christmas story was just sweet enough without being treacley like the newspaper strips. I really don't understand why they can't ditch something like Hi and Lois or B.C. and put Thorn in.

I remember it from a panel in Horn's History of the Comic Strip, showing Chuck in front of a rack of pre-Code comic books (just as you drew Rosie). They had titles such as "GOUGE" and "STAB," which is pretty funny, and even more so since it was from the early 1950s.

Speaking of things that make you want to stab yourself, it looks like there'll be no more eye-gouging Harlot PIs for a bit. His Kins is writing his latest magnum dopus, BAM. He, as always, plans to bang it out in 30 days. Because if you want something done well, it's best to do it asfastaspossible. While that would usually supply the greatest amount of hilarity, his teenaged friends may proof it again for him, robbing it of any joy.

Anyone ever get past the first few pages of the S:PI novel before giving up, curled in a fetal position on the floor? If hardened phrack whores like us can't make it through, I don't know how he expects normal nonmasochists to do so.

I didn't set out to make a direct Peanuts ref, no, but I do remember the strips you're thinking of ;)

Charlie Brown and co. positively RELISHED those 50's pulp comics, Rosie doesn't know what the hell ;)

Hey, Mimi! Is that a 50s Peanuts reference?
"What a great gory layout!"

A gently mental new year to all!

Fantagraphics have had Pogo on their coming soon lists for ages, but they're taking a while to get them actually out - they'll be apparently chronological runs like the Peanuts collection, yay :)

I find Pogo hard to read in large chunks because the wordplay and dialects are so thick, but I never get tired of looking at that art :)
Oddly enough, Pogo wasn't a massively gag-heavy strip either and a lot of the punchlines relied on wordplay, but Kelly certainly had the talent to pull it off, certainly more than Lynn does.

Pogo? POGO?

I am so there. I have a bunch of worn-out softcovers, and they don't cover all the strips. Some are clearly edited, some leave out comics (one can see skipped dates), and some are "best of" type collections. My favorites are two large volumes with commentaries on the strips, often about the political situations that inspired them.

Edited by author 12-28-2007 03:02 AM
Lynn has an attention span of roughly two strips. Three, tops. She wastes SO MUCH STRIP SPACE on filler crap, weak disposable puns and atrocious wordplay which should be spent on character development and making some effort to make her characters remotely likeable.
Shoehorning her characters' speech patterns and behaviour to the service of a weak joke has progressively made Elly a honking neurotic, John a distant lummox (ESPECIALLY since Rod and Lynn divorced), Liz a vapid nitwit, Anthony a milquetoast sociopath, Wobin severely mentally disabled, Francoise frighteningly precocious and Michael an insufferable arsehole.
The only ones left to empathise with are April and Grandpa Jim, who are both treated pretty shittily by everyone else.

There are cartoonists who had rough childhoods who then create idealised fictional families to compensate. Lynn is one of these, but the problem is that she has really no idea how a healthy, contented family relate to each other, certainly not now that she has adult children, no grandkids and FBOFW is supposedly going to refocus on St. Michael and brood.
Read today's one with Elly and John - who on earth TALKS like that???

I'll be over here with Mutts and waiting for the Pogo Fantagraphics collection to start.

'meanwhile, over at the Pattermance...'

Wow...you are Criswell! Except that you're right!

Yeah, FBOW went downhill real quick. I really was glad to hear that she was quitting. And that was before the strip got so bad. Hooray, for once they're won't be another Legacy Strip clogging up the comics page, and keeping fresh material off it! But then she decided to do repeats. Look, Classic Peanuts can get away with it, but Classic FOOB does not. "Dead Guy Drawing" things like Beetle Bailey suck, Hagar sucks, and B.C.--where they just write terrible new punchlines over Jonny Hart's terrible art? It's the comics page of the living dead.

Anybody else follow Funky Winkerbean? Jesus. There's a reboot that never should've happened. It's not funny, but it stopped being that years ago. But now even the soap opera sucks. And doesn't make any sense. It's 10 years in the future, but it's now, but 10 years ago was now...And some people age 10 years, others 25. Which I wouldn't mind, if it hadn't become this huge waste of the 11 seconds it takes for me to read it every day.

Psst...if you're sick of Anthony (and I'm sure you are), he gets a delightfully brutal death here. The rest of the page is worth a read, too, as long as you don't mind a little raping of your childhood memories.

And wow, Zef, that is the fruitiest fruitcake I ever did see.

Oh gods, don't get me started on the... TRAINWRECK that is FBOFW.
The frustrating thing is that we don't know if that strip is being DELIBERATELY ambiguous in the punchline or Lynn has totally dropped the ball with another dreary pathetic epithet. Tomorrow's strip will either clarify the situation further or be completely ignored with 'meanwhile, over at the Pattermance...'

Either way, she's lost it. Completely lost it.

there's also something that I haven't written on; Jim's a bit hesitant on the sex part. "You want me to put my {Radio Edit} WHERE?! Ew!"

Um, actually, you did write about that: The SOLE REASON Jim put on the damned suit was so that he could HAVE WILD SEX WITH EVERYBODY.

Since Jim is just his attempt to "prove" he's not a homophobe anymore, let's all be happy that he hasn't tried to prove he's no longer a racist, either.
"Leroy is a black African American Negro, but he doesn't mind when coworkers put a noose over his cubicle. He doesn't consider himself the civil rights type, nor wants to be; there's Al Sharpton and Louis Farrakan for that role. He's happy to peacefully eat his fried chicken and watermelon, and get off the sidewalk when white people walk by."

In FBOFW, it looks like Elizabeth's gonna be spending Christmas night with Anthony.

It hurts. Make the hurting stop.

Since we're speaking of fruitcake...

"That's something that I wanted to show in Jim Goodlow, pre Scarlet, in the current version of the story. He's well aware that he's drawn toward guys, nolo contendre there. He just doesn't go along with those stereotypes that some people associate with gay men. (Which explains for a lot of stuff, including his membership in the Log Cabin Republicans.) He doesn't consider himself the flamboyant type, nor wants to be; there's Carson Kressley and Chris Crocker for that role. And there's also something that I haven't written on; Jim's a bit hesitant on the sex part. "You want me to put my {Radio Edit} WHERE?! Ew!" Not only does he want a monogamic relationship, he also doesn't want to jump in the sack every five minutes. (In contrast to what Scarlet turns him into, who can be a sex vixen if need be. Hey, she's the one who turned Toni bi, right?)

It is Jim's apparent awkwardness behind his own sexuality that gave him the thought that, during "Murder in Main Street," that he's actually Transgendered. Whatever or not that's in any way a reality--or that the two are even related--is anyone's guess."

I had fruitcake once, over 30 years ago. I thought it was pretty good, but I was a teenager, and I'd eat anything.
Well, almost. It was from the same relatives that always brought mincemeat pie, and there was no way I was forcing that down my throat.

Maybe Australian and North American fruitcakes use different recipes?

It's probably because of the "fruit" part. It sounds almost healthy, which naturally makes us Americans suspicious. If they called it "refinedsugarlardcake," everyone here would love it.

Personally, I'd rather have pumpkin pie for dessert, or any kind of pie. Cakes are too sweet, but that's just me.

I don't know. I've only had fruitcake a few times, and each time it just seemed so heavy and overdone. It always made me think that I'd rather have had the fruit and cake separately. Nowadays I have no urge to try it again, not because I hate the taste, but because I look at nutrition labels. If I'm going to eat something that caloric, it's bloody well going to be something I really like.

I disagree. Fruitcakes are hard to fuck up. My mother just made her very first one this christmas and everyone loved it.
Well, I've never had a bad fruitcake. For a nation full of sweet-tooths like America, I don't believe that making a fruitcake is somehow akin to splitting the atom and eating one is akin to being forcefed thousand-year-old duck eggs.

Fruitcake is seldom well-made, and fruitcake is like bagpiping-- if it's not done with some mastery, it's a terrible thing to be anywhere near.

I still have NO idea why fruitcake is so reviled in America. In Australia it's eaten all the time around Christmas and I think it's delicious.

I think most americans who claim to hate fruitcake have never actually EATEN a good fruit cake and just hate it because everyone says you're SUPPOSED to hate it for some unfathomable reason.

It's just a moist cake made with lots of dried fruit and a dash of brandy, what's to hate?

Merry Festimus everybody!

Cake wine sounds delicious, as long as it's wine made from cake. But not fruitcake, because that's disgusting and nobody actually eats it.

Last night at work, this guy walks into the store, goes all the way up to the counter, and asks "Are you guys open?" GEE I DON'T KNOW.

Bravo, Bill-- that biochip story is the very thing to wake up to for a Dickens-fuelled non-denominational Christmas-liker. Thank'ee!

they share a foot-failing

I find the image of one of Liefeld's impossibly-dimensioned women having her scrawny stick figure legs end in a pair of Davey's gigantic ham-in-a-can feet quite amusing.

Davey:
. . . . or whatever holiday you celebrate here. Could be Festimus for all I care.

Festimus...that was from the Jerry Smeinfarb show, right?

Actually... I think Liefeld gets a lot of covering fire from inkers and colourists. While they share a foot-failing, I've not once thought of the Gont's stuff, "Gah! That chick's more deformed than Reed Richards after Ben Grimm mistook him for taffy needing a pull!"

Well, as far as I know Liefeld doesn't 'write', so...

It's like Pipkin is saying "Merry Christmas! I got you a freakishly deformed little girl with legs coming out of her chest!" I'm really disturbed by how one of her pupils is darker than the other, too. I don't know why that disturbs me when there are so many other disturbing aspects at work.

I saw that Liefeld article a few days ago and I've been wondering ever since who the worse artist is, him or Davey? Davey's drawings are definitely worse, but Liefeld actually makes lots of money off of his shit. So which one of them is the bigger hack?

Is it me, or is Scarlet becoming less and less prominent in her own series? It's been Plopkin and Medoly for ages now.

Oh geez, it's so hard to grasp how he could do something WORSE than that awful Scarlet Christmas pinup he did, but there it is.
There's nothing even remotely christmassy about it! Oh, I'm sure Pipkin is sposedly wearing a Santa outfit, but the messy pencil and lack of any detail makes that almost a moot point.

...gross, is Pipkin GROPING that little girl??

Edited by author 12-24-2007 12:59 AM
Holy cats, that comment link image sure is shiny! And spanish! So yeah! Los quiero, feliz navidad! *glitter!*

Edit:

Also, ahahahahaha

"Gives up on Scar, and obsesses on something else for some months or years, and then returns to his baseline of transgendering fursuit fascination," don'cha mean? Of course, he'd reset his obsessometer, decide that Jim Standin was not a cop at all, but a quality control inspector of McLardo Fast Foods, first supplier of meat-like treats to the Disney Space Station. Hilarity ensues.

On which subject, wishes of great hilarity for all in the face of solsticey eating-themed festive season.

Edited by author 12-23-2007 01:24 AM
I hate to post first on my own page, but I found this in my old bookmarks: Zef's uncovering of the supa-secret 15-point Scarlot plotline.

Note that, four months later Davey is all the way up to...
PLOT POINT ONE.

Assuming that we're finally through PP1, which is by no means a given, Davey should reach PP15--which is still only the beginning of the mighty Scar epos--somewhere around January.
January, 2013.
I'm not kidding; get out a calculator and do the math.

edit: To be kind, I allotted him 4 months per plot point, not the 4.5 months that's actually elapsed. And we really can't tell whether the "Jim Googles Happy Fun Land" is the end of PP1, or the start of PP2. If anything, I think that I'm underestimating.
And, obviously, there's no way to include the incalculable "Davey gets a new mote in his eye, gives up on Scar, and then obsesses on something else" factor in the equation.