Face Front, True Believers! You must be here next time for a story we just had to call:
"WHERE WALKS THE NEW COMMENT THINGIE"!!
Excelsior!

Aw, you beat me to it, Mimi! Yeah, it's 1963 and Stan Lee writes every storyline, and personally murdered Cap, who is a real person. I like how Davey doesn't totally rule out the poster really being Ditko, just in case. Because any pro would immediately love Davey's scrawls.

Does anyone follow current Marvel? Cuz what is that "Parker sells his soul to the devil to magically turn back time and get out of his marriage" crap? Couldn't he just get a fucking divorce? It's not like it'd be the first time that happened in a Marvel book.

Wow. That's some vintage Davey=froth there.. but without the public meltdowns.

So.. lemme get this straight. First he ignores a civil question about why he hates Lee, just because the person asking is using a pseudonym. And anyone using a pseudonym must be OMG TROLL!
Then... he blames Stan for.. *gasp* current Marvel storylines being not to his liking?? Which has only been going on for, what, AS LONG AS COMICS HAVE EXISTED? How many times has ol' Xavier 'died', now? (In any case, it's been confirmed that he's just in a coma right now, not dead. Meanwhile, Bucky has taken up Cap's shield to carry on the fight, as faithful sidekicks/wards tend to do. Woo, way to jump the gun, Davey! AGAIN!)
Christ on a melon, Marvel canons have split into SO many alternate retellings and spin-off universes that you'd have to be certifiable to think that any major Marvel character actually STAYS dead. Marvel fans have their favourite writers and even the weaker stories have fans. What on earth is so hard about ignoring stories you don't like rather than reminding the Internet what a mental lugnut you are? GONT?!

Since Gattino is still blocked from David's DA, he couldn't really ask him why he went mad against Stan Lee in his latest blog. (Not that David would reply to HIM, anyway) So he did the next best thing and hired me to ask. Here are the results.

He also left a note. It reads, ah, where did i left it... here. Ah, it reads "Hey, my laptop died, haven't had time to be online. Don't know when HP will return it. Hi Lils!"

Sorry, I spelled "S&L" fonetiklee. I must've been channeling my inner Teddy Roosevelt.

...SNL bailout 20 years ago....

And yet the show remained unfunny.

Oops, I missed the Goodlow bio.

You wouldn't do it if the mike looked like a penis, ew.

WHAT THE FUCK.
Yeah, wait'll ED gets to that pic. I thought it was Jim next to a tiny steering wheel.
What does the next paragraph say? "In Espir3"? Oh, wait, it's titled "SPIR." So, In [Scar.PI.Redux] as well as any series of TV, Jim will narrate...
WHAT THE FUCK. He thinks there's going to be a Scar TV show! He does, he does! Well, didn't The Sopranos start as a Lulu download, too?

If there were any signals he gave people about whatever or not he was gay, he didn't know about it. In fact, he wasn't even aware of his orientation until his late teenaged years, when he discovered it himself. His family seemed to figure it out long before Jim realized it himself, but they're grateful over Jim's non-flamboyant attitude over his decision.

...

WHAAAAAT THE FUUUUCKK!!!!!! He didn't know he was gay? But his family had some superpowered gaydar? About how many thousands of times has Davey whined about kids in school calling him a fag? Isn't he saying here that, yes, you can be gay without you knowing it when everyone else does? He seems to be researching this by using his time-honored method of "reaching way up my ass and pulling something out."

Toni "has the same employment problems as Jim" and "he's also an expert in coding with the Linux Operating System"? What decade does Davey think this is, in which an expert programmer can't get a job because he's gay? If he lived in a community that bigoted, one would think that he'd put his resume on monster.com and get a high-salaried job in another state. Just because Mr Kins can't do better than McDonald's because he's discriminated against (for being a nutjob), it doesn't mean that being queer makes you unemployable.

‘quote-normal-unquote'

Thanks for putting quotes around the quotes, dude. No one could've figured out what "normal" might mean otherwise.

That Toni picture... is Gont starting to become a more worser drawing-guy than he was previously? That thing is atrocious.

Edited by author 03-14-2008 02:55 AM
Oh JUST what I need before bed on a full stomach:
Little window into Davey's tastes.
Even the protruding pockets and all. He's getting better at noting detail - even if it IS a look the rest of the civilised world permanently equate with the worst kind of trailer trash. he clearly found a photo of Britney for this - then went back to his tried-and-true 'make any old shit up' for her footwear.
And Toni, remember him?. The flaming queen who was happy to fuck a female fox?
He has a bit of hippie in him
...he does? WHERE? All I see is Davey attempting 'metrosexual'.
Jim's 'BFF'? Lollers. So.. are Toni and Jim still gay lovers? He's still talking about being 'very close' and domestic partnerships and all that.

And what the FUCK'S up with Toni wearing ballet slippers??

Edit: Holy cow, he's adding more as I type. Behold the NEW Jim Goodlow bio.
Imagine his surprise when the cops actually commended him for taking some drugs off the street. In fact, they even show him around the precinct and even let him do ride-alongs.
Yawn. Adam did it already in LBF. It didn't make him cool or appealing then, either.

He can walk a beat all right, and could even be in a car chase, but there are lots more physical cops out there that can tackle down a pursued criminal. But he's perfect for keeping tabs on skateboarding kids.
Oh christ, stop, I'm dying here. No nasty brutish physical activity for Golden Boy Jim, he's too busy gettin' down with the KIDS, MAN!

And my question appears to be answered - Jim IS still teh gay, but DISCRETELY..
in every other area in life, he considers himself to be as ‘quote-normal-unquote' as straight people.
But in his sexual orientation, he's still an abomination before God, gotcha. LOVE the extremely offensive airquotes, dude.

He's not even much into the erotic sex, but rather prefers to be treated like a wife from Toni. At the kinkiest, he'll cosplay.
So he's a bottom, then. And a right little bitch, too.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! What is sex if it's not erotic, Davey? He just bites the pillow and wishes Toni wouldn't wax himself so much?

Well, here's a feel-good story that sounds made up, even if it is from BBC-- A dolphin talks some whales out of beaching themselves. Weird.

Okay, I know you like The Lileks

I liked the Lileks just fine, on 9/10/2001. He became a frothing gooberhead the next day. In the run-up to the Iraq Disaster, he kept smugly announcing things like "Sarah McLachlan is against our glorious crusade, so I'm deleting all her songs from my iPod! That'll larn her!" I eventually tired of going to his site, just to be called a treasonous retard when I got there. Then he said that a columnist he'd loved all his life dared to question the invasion, so he wasn't going to ever, ever read his work again. I stared at the monitor for a few seconds, then said "That's a very good idea" and deleted his link from my bookmarks. That'll larn him! And keep my blood pressure lower.

his two old-recipe books reminded me so much of the InExOb that I wanted to go back and make sure he hadn't ripped you off or anything

His page predates mine, but my exposure to it came long after the InExOb was up and running. I found it on someone's page of links that had both our pages on it.

if Lileks could turn the Institute into printed matter, why couldn't the same be done with the InExOb? Would there be too many commercial/legal clearances?

Probably not; it'd be considered Fair Use. There is the obstacle of my extreme laziness. You don't for how many years I've thought of opening a CafePress shop to sell some t-shirts--even if I'm the only one who buys them--but I'm deficient enough in Photoshop to not even try.

Back in London I loved beef flavored crisps. If they sold those here I would be a happy chip-eater.

Whereas when I lived in Wales and saw the existence of prawn-and-chilli-flavoured crisps, I not only began to question my own status as a lifelong Anglophile, but I also suddenly understood why the Empire had fallen.

Actually, her "love labia." That one is true.

::sigh:: Guys, are we really gonna have to get into a far more complicated anatomical discussion than I would prefer? I specifically used the term, "love nubbin" precisely so this page wouldn't attract any more porn-seeking freaks than usual.

If you Google, "Marion Davies Rosebud," you'll see why I uphold my original assertion; while the Wikipedia entry only says "a sensitive part of her anatomy," as an owner of said equipment, I can attest to what the most sensitive part is, along with what is more aesthetically congruent with an actual rosebud. (Hint: it's not the labia.) Please don't make me have to further explain the substantial difference between these two items, k?

(That's more about feminine anatomy than I ever want to discuss on this page again.)

As someone who--regrettably--at one time did enough crank to know, the concept of strawberry meth just doesn't work for me; no amount of flavoring, sweet or otherwise, could ever disguise that pernicious taste, any more than the methadone I just finished taking for two years (for those who don't read my LJ) is at all changed with the sickly sweet cherry? berry? Beelzebub smegma? flavoring (I've heard other clinics use an orange flavoring, which I'm sure is just as nasty).

IMO, if kids wanna use, they're gonna use, regardless of how horrid it tastes or however uncomfortable the ingestion process might otherwise be. The need to self-medicate tends to trump 'little' things like how much meth burns (from being cut with stuff like Drano) or getting injection site abscesses, when the overriding objective is to obliterate emotional pain (or maybe just unintended alliteration). I'm just sayin.

Bill, I had to swing by the InExOb tonight, and please know how well it holds up over time; all I had to do was see the words,"Toast Party!" or "CHA CHA CHA" and I started giggling helplessly. Which reminds me...

Okay, I know you like The Lileks; I just finished reading his books, and I admit they were pretty hilarious (and, in the 70's book, the '2001' bathroom made me inadvertently gasp, "Ohmigod!" when I turned to that page); still, his two old-recipe books reminded me so much of the InExOb that I wanted to go back and make sure he hadn't ripped you off or anything (thinking, "Alright, though my former attorneys specialize in product liability, I'm sure they could refer me to an intellectual property specialist..." Sorry, somebody tries to profit from or fuck over my friends, they'll taste my steel, figuratively speaking).

Which makes me wonder, if Lileks could turn the Institute into printed matter, why couldn't the same be done with the InExOb? Would there be too many commercial/legal clearances? It's every bit as good (and then some) as any of Lileks' stuff (or the cracked.com stuff, for that matter--that list of stupid books made me laugh so hard that I snorted [which I do NOT normally do--I'm usually waaaay too delicate and feminine to do such a thing, no, really...]). If you could reap a little cred or money from it, so much the better.

On the other hand, if you feel that Killsy and Byron have enough to contend with, being beloved internet icons, that's perfectly all right. Just one question...

Your comedy's most likeable character probably shouldn't be the villain.

Okay, so what about your action movie?

Four words: Alan. Rickman. Die. Hard.

'Nuff said.

Well to be fair, you CAN use Crayolas with skill, as Marti leGrow does here, but then, she has actual TALENT(and she's a bit nuts. And when I say a bit, I mean a LOT, but she does have a point here).

But then there's Davey - who probably invested in a twelve-pack of expensive artists' colour pencils... and then proved incapable of even colouring within the lines. *headdesk*

Hey, I kinda look like Evil Dude! He'd need a mustache, and a pony tail, and feet that looked like actual feet, and body parts that look like that they'd be on an actual body, and I guess at Evil Labs Inc you can wear blue jeans and a pink polo shirt when you hang around with Mellicent M--
GREAT JESUS GODDAMN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?! And that TOOTH?!

And did he color it with crayons?! I used a box of Crayola 64 back in my Geocities page days--as an ironic statement. He--he's using CRAYON SCRIBBLES to color what he thinks is for his brilliant career as a future published novelist?

Crayon can mean "I'm doing this ironically, ha ha!" Crayons on your FUCKING RESUME means "I'm doing this because the other kids on the short bus won't let me on, because I embarrassed them." And then you just curse the cruel vagaries of Dame Fortuna, who keeps you from becoming the next crayon-colored Stephen King while you mop up puked Fishwiches.

"I think I failed on Mellicent Mouse's dress."

Oh. DO YOU NOW.
Because--I CAN'T REALLY SEE WHERE YOU FUCKING DID.
Was it the snaggletooth? That's really the only thing that I an see that's wrong. Because that's as far as I want to look at it.

"I wanted the color to be more closer to Amy Rose's original dress, like in this [link] ."

(rubs temples)
Sure. Don't have an idea of your own. Rip it off baby, rip it ALL off!

Is it just me, or does every time you see some Davey thingum, one synapse of your brain goes "Hoorah! Tis funny silly!" while another dozen synapses go "Shit. Eyeballs are making us see this again. AGAIN!" and then they just sob and quietly die?

Okay, it's been several days and no one has mentioned it, but you're missing more Davey shit: he's posting new scraps to his DA account as examples of the Scarlet 'sketchbook'.. the one where he once again says 'Everyone tell me who my characters are because I'm too fucking uncreative to do it myself'

"Revised" Jim - now apparently twelve years old. Camel toe and feet-hams prevail, although one of his slightly more skilled fans tries to be helpful.
Some evil dude. GAHD, THEY ALL LOOK THE SAME!!! Same hair, same clothes, same stupid stance where a hip must be dislocated...

"Mellicent" Mouse.
I'll experiment with the dress some more, if that's all right.
NO! NO IT IS NOT ALL RIGHT! For Davey, that will mean returning in several months with the bows a bit bigger. I mean LOOK at it! He truly has no CLUE about forming solid shapes.