the webpage's address has been changed. it is now http://sites.google.com/site/donknottsmemorialcdp/. the old address will still work, but i dont know for how long

finally: ben hits on the passing of thousand year old claude levi-strauss

Former NFL safety---and 2008 alumnus of the Don Knotts Deadie Draft--- Orlando Thomas dead at 37 of Lou Gehrig's disease.

Soupy Sales dead at 83

Captain Lou Albano bites it at the ripe age of 76.

ok, seeing as its almost the middle of october, i guess now would be a good time to officially announce the 2008 award winners. they are as follows:



    1. The Celebrity Death Pool Don Knotts Memorial Trophy (a.k.a. “the Deadie”) – $235.00
Ben: Miyagi's Marauders

 
   2. The “We Drank The Kool-Aid” award (award for most deaths: 1st place team is exempt from this award) - $40.00
Mattie: The Out of Timers - 6 stiffs
 

   3. The “He’s Not Gonna Be In The Sequel” award (award for 1st overall death scored in the season) - $30.00
Fuck Keith: Worm Food All-Stars - Sir Edmund Hillary
 

   4. *The Steve Irwin Memorial Award (award for craziest death) - $10.00
held over to 2009
 

   5. *The “Too Soon” award (award for the person whose passing was the saddest to see) - $10.00
Ben: Miyagi's Marauders - George Carlin
 

   6. *The “See you in Hell” award (award is the exact opposite of the previous award) - $10.00
Matt: The Out-Of-Timers - Jesse Helms
 

   7. The “We Hardly Knew Ye” award (award for youngest person in the league passing away) - $7.00
Ben: Jeff Healey - 41
 

   8. *The “Red-Shirted Star Trek Guy” award (award for the most obscure person who passed away) – $7.00
Fuck Wride: Celebrity Coffin Jockeys - Clay Felker
 

   9. *The “Don’t Fear the Reaper” award (award for the person who really should’ve passed away but managed to hang on for another year) - $5.00
Matt: The Out-Of-Timers - Fidel Castro
 


  10. The “Last Man Not Standing” award (award for the last pick passing away before the draft of the next year’s teams) - $5.00
Ben: Deep Throat
 

  11. The “Trail of Tears” award (award for the team with the fewest points) $1.00 Sacajawea coin
Tie- BobDad: Byzantine Jihad
and Haut: Date with Elvis


starting next year, due to the fact that these awards are a pain in the ass (although great in concept) i vote to hand out prize money according to final standings. we can do it where everyone gets money, or the top x amount of teams get money...let me know what you think

Matt: i will give you both yours and Wrides money when you come into town next week. Hauts too if youre going to see him at any point. Ben, come pick yours up. keith, yours has been used to pay for this current season.

also, there are still a few of you whom i need money from for this year. i will post the list later

We probably should have had columnist and former Nixon speechwriter William Saffire, dead at 79.

Huge shake-up today as Keith vaults from 12th place to 3rd place with the passing of his game-breaker Susan Atkins.

Mary Travers of Peter, Paul and Mary died today. Nobody had her, but she was at the top of at least a few lists for December.

Pat, you will be missed. Sorry you got The Swayz and died.

Patrick Swayze dead. A commanding lead for Christina.

Chuck, who was your gamebreaker? It's not clear on the online roster. If you doubled up on Kennedy, you could be just one point out of first place.

Two in one day: In addition to Ted Kennedy passing in the early morning hours, legendary Vanity Fair journalist Dominic Dunne has died of bladder cancer at age 83. Dunne was a member of Uncle Harry's Marshmallow Tree of Death, vaulting that team from lowly 12th place all the way up to 6th place. And Kennedy's passing moves the Doomsday Machine into 3rd place with 4 points! This race is heating up!

seeing as how the website is being updated...can I finally have my team name? - Doomsday Machine - Thanks :P

First pick of the draft...wow!

Ted Kennedy dead at 77

Out of Timers on the board with the passing of reporter and columnist Robert Novak!

Les Paul. I'm coming for the number one spot!

Eunice Kennedy Shriver dead at 88. Good job, Ben!

As a consolation prize for a piss poor showing in the little league post season, Dudik is awarded one point for the passing of the world's oldest man, 113 year-old Henry Allingham. They're dropping like flies, gentlemen. We're either getting scary good at this, or the universe is falling apart. Either way, it's good for death pool business.

Edited by author 07-17-2009 08:50 PM
fuck me!!!!!!!!!! 7-1/2 months deep and i finally hit. walter cronkite dead at 92

You guys in L.A. are truly the luckiest death poolers in the world. To be witness to the largest death circus ever. I hope one of you guys gets a ticket to the memorial service for MJ. I want details, the local and national news just isn't enough for me. Please post pics on the web site

Karl Malden finally kicks it at 97 years young, putting Uncle Harry on the board. That's 4 deaths in less than two weeks.

Due to the fact that Michael Jackson is 99% plastic, he will be melted down into lego blocks so little kids can play with him for a change.

Team black, black, black Strikes. What a night! The best is watching the news and your 10 year old asks why Michael looks black when he was young. Good stuff.

WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I had the VD gettin & givin broad for 2 years and the year i give up on her is the year she dies!!!!!!! fuck that shit

This has been the greatest week in death pool history, with 3 huge stars exiting stage right. About damn time...

Fuck Keith...

First Ed McMahon and now Farrah and possibly Michael Jackson in the same day? I mean we were due for a wave, but this could among the biggest days in Don Knotts Memorial Celebrity Death Pool history!

Fuck Keith!

Congrats.

Seeing as Farrah will be dining with Elvis tonight, did someone warn her that you can still get VD in the afterlife?

Farrah will be having dinner with Elvis tonight. The drought is over. I finally posted a death after a year and a half.

One correction: McMahon was first picked by Wride in 2006, followed by Burky in 2008.

Crypt Kickers score their first death with the passing of TV icon Ed McMahon. (First drafted by Uncle Harry's Marshmallow Tree of Death in previous seasons)

Walter Cronkite has been tagged as "gravely ill". Keith looks close to making the scoreboard.

Sorry about that Haut, I added your team today to the list of all of us losers with 0. More news on Cleveland being cursed. Lebron has tumors on his face now, which means if by a miracle he re-signs he will die of cancer the next year. Also, Dan Gilbert guaranteed a championship so I will probably be dead before Cleveland even sniffs a championship opportunity again. Go Lakers and Go Dodgers.

I know it's been a year and a half since my team posted a death. I'm sure it is just an oversight keeping "A Date w/ Elvis" off the updated standings page. My team does have some top prospects this year and I feel the shutout will end soon.

lol...well done sir, i needed that laugh. thanks.

Sorry dunky...i forgot. I dont have a list of the new teams. I dont even remember the new teams...ill check the draft list and get names from the newbies

Also does anyone have a list of all the Team Names. I was going to put them in last night, but I don't know the ones for the new teams

You are welcome guys, but I don't know who this Mattie guy is.

P.S.

Did you guys find any cavemen yet?

Nice work! I have one small request. Can you remove our last names? Just want to keep a little privacy for internet bad guys.

as you can see, alot of the page has been updated. i cant take credit for it though...i finally did what i should have done months ago. someone else will be updating the page (hopefully alot more regularly than i did, so thank you matty. everything looks good...keep it up!

Fuck Dudik...

Clearly far too busy lusting over his little league boys, our commishabetis has missed scads of celebrity corpses. Another one died today.. a huge one with ties to cleveland, but it's not my place to post who. ask the lazy, self-proclaimed guy in charge what the score is. I'm far too busy with real responsibilities to bother any more. Happy Cinco de Mayo and keep your sugar regulated, everybody...

Fuck Dudik!

Dudik. This. Is. Fucking. Sad.

Your neglect has led to no one even posting Bea Arthur's death on the board. She was picked up by someone. Also, Jack Kemp died, although he wasn't picked.

To make up for the lackluster updates, here's a link to a video I know all teams will enjoy:

http://www.collegehumor.com/video:1909669

A moment of silence for porn pioneer Marilyn Chambers who has forever gone behind the green door...

Also, Fuck Keith...

Looks like Haut might hit his final pick of the draft soon as alleged Nazi war criminal John Demjanjuk was hauled out of his Seven Hills home on a stretcher today and should be heading back to Germany to stand trial soon. Family members seem to think the 87 year old won't be in the sequel if they really send him back to the father land. Nice work, Haut.

And looks like Dudik is still a non-updating piece of shit. by this time next week he'll have done less as commish in 100 days than Obama has as president. Where is your pride, man? It's just getting fucking sad.

and Fuck Keith.

Fuck Keith...

What about Lou Saban? Didn't see that one coming. And one we all saw coming... the month of March coming and going before our lazy-ass commish-a-betes could bring us an update.

Fuck Keith...

Oscar-winning film composer Maurice Jarre ("Lawrence of Arabia", "Dr. Zhivago", "Witness", "Dead Poets Society")dead at the age of 84. A personal favorite musically, he was definitely on my radar for the death pool. RIP, Moe.

Edited by author 03-23-2009 12:40 PM
Christina has taken the lead of course, with the death of British reality star Jase Goody at 27 (a gamebreaker).

But I just had to make note here of the suicide of Sylvia Plath's son. If we had been doing a death pool back then, Sylvia herself surely would have made many lists:

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/article5956380.ece

Actress Natasha Richardson is brain-dead after a skiing accident in Canada. The 45-year-old is perhaps better known as the wife of Liam Neeson and daughter of Vanessa Redgrave than for any of her screen roles. Could have been a top pick next year, except they plan to remove life support. This unexpected tragedy was not forseen by any of this year's teams, so she sadly went undrafted.

Commish, do we have a rule on brain-dead people? And can we get a fucking update?!

Fuck Keith...

Clarence Swenson, a 91 year old Munchkin of Oz passed away the other day. My Munchkin actor can't be too far off. Not that we'll know when it happens now that Paul Harvey is dead and can't read the news to us anymore. That's two deaths and two points for me. Page two...

Hey Commish... how bout an update as payback for helping you push your truck a country mile this morning in the freezing ass cold? i want to see my name in the first place slot!

Fuck Keith!

Ed McMahon is in the hospital again... could be looking good for Pat.

And 105 year old author Edward Upward passed away on Friday, Feb 13 putting me on the board in true Febtober fashion. How bout an update, commish?

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg, 75, now has pancreatic cancer:

http://www.breitbart.com/article.php?id=D965J8380&show_article=1

I think another marshmallow on the Tree of Death may have just been toasted.

DOH! Keyboardist for the band Lynard Skynard has died at age 56. But the band's namesake, their former gym teacher and Matty's 20th pick, remains alive. Could it be the gym teacher will outlive all of his pupils? (He only has like 1 or 2 more original members to go.)

Famed writer John Updike dead at 76. We really shoulda had this one; he was picked in 2007.

Fuck Keith...

i think we should have been a little more thorough in our research, especially towards the end of the year:

The celebrated Brazilian beauty Mariana Bridi da Costa took a turn for the worse right before the draft, and after being somewhat dismantled, died this weekend at age 20.

Fame was arguable, but she won her fair share of prestigious pageants.

We have a new leader... Mark has 2 points. How about our lazy ass commish takes time from his burgeoning bromance with Mattie and does his fucking job?

Fuck Keith...

Burky, I have to appreciate the poetic epitaph to Steve Jobs. That almost makes the death pool sound humane. Oh, and fuck you if he dies.

My bad, second of the year

First of the year Kay Yow

Senators Ted Kennedy and Robert Byrd BOTH removed from Obama's Inaugural Luncheon for health problems...Developing...

Apple, Inc. Founder Steve Jobs needs a liver transplant because his pancreatic cancer has spread:
http://www.nbr.co.nz/article/steve-jobs-co...er-transplant-39630

In the past, Jobs has faced his health concerns defiantly, vowing not to lose his battle and not to give up control of Apple. Last week he stepped down from his chairmanship. Today, when news of his liver problems prompted reporters to inquire, a much more despondent Jobs had only this retort: "Why don't you guys leave me alone?"

Now, I'm sure being a billionaire moves you up the recipient list for organ donations; he'll get his liver. But the point is, this guy looks like a skeleton, has two cancer-riddled vital organs, and appears ready to give up. You might as well write down my four points.

Of course, I hope he gets better. I mean, he is younger and has a young family. But they'll all have better lives than any of us. So while the guy may be one of the great visionaries of our time, it must be recognized that we are all equal in death. And I shall collect said points in that case.

Sorry I am late with my nominations.

“Too Soon” - Gotta be Carlin
“See you in Hell” - To be different I am gonna go with Albert Hoffman. Held on past 100 and he did invent an addictive hallucinatory drug
"Red Shirt Award" - Just give it to Wride
"Don't Fear the Reaper" - Castro or Wooden
I agree we should hold over the money for the Steve Irwin award

Fuck Keith...

Boy George is in jail for chaining up a male escort after a nude photo shoot. He'll likely spend the rest of the year asking prison inmates "Do you really want to hurt me?" and hoping they keep him alive. I'm guessing Bobdad hopes he gets shanked.

Fuck Keith...

Fuck Keith...

and fuck KAHN!!! Ricardo Montalban dead at the senseless age of 88. We finally got one. Nice pick, Chuck!

And we missed Patrick McGoohan, perhaps best know as Edward the Longshanks from Bravehart, dead at 80. He was, however, on my short list and on the actor list i'm pitting against Haut's list-o-obscure actors.

Fuck Keith...

I can't believe no one posted this yet, but Chuck strikes first with the passing of Khan---Ricardo Montolban. Recent health news about Patrick Swayze and Steve Jobs, along with Amy Winehouse's divorce seem like harbingers of things to come.

ok maybe wride doesnt like webmaster cock as much as he says, but i happen to know for sure that ted williams head aka team brown loves to lick it like a lollipop. so ted williams make like your team and start giving the webmaster some head

so who does wride have to blow to get a god damn webpage update? wride was saying that he just loves webmaster cock, so wride get to sucking and dudik get to updating. fuck keith & fuck homosexual turkish chick pea tycoons with no legs, half of their right arm, and a lazy eye!!!!

Fuck Keith...Wride, BS, I just tried the link and it works fine. Get a new computer loser...

In other news, I saw a headline: "Former Mouseketeer dies at 64". But it turns out it's NOT Annette Funicello, but Cheryl Holdridge. WTF. I was looking forward to our first 2009 death.

Fuck Keith...

Haut missed an obscure old TV guy today: Don Galloway who played the sidekick on Ironside.

Burky, the link you provided was also DOA and does not work.

and Fuck Keith...

This is a pretty funny list of 100 people most likely to die in 2009. I wish I had it on draft day. Check out the Dwight Schrute bear attack PSA, too.

http://www.cinemablend.com/celebrity/The-1...-In-2009-14401.html

Also, I shed a tear toight for France's best pastry chef, Gaston Lenotre, who died at 88.

Artie Lange missed the first two Stern shows of the year because he's back in rehab. No way this guy makes it to 45. He could definitely go this year.

I can feel it. There's a disturbance in the force and the DEADIE IS COMING HOME!!!! YEAH, BABY!

Ok, now that that's done with...I, more or less, agree with Burkhart on the awards.

Steve Irwin Award - Hold Over
Too Soon - George Carlin
See You In Hell - Jesse Helms
Red-Shirt Trekkie - Clay Felker works for me
Don't Fear The Reaper - Going with Castro

ill get to the ballot stuff later. i just wanted to let everyone know that i will start getting everything up for the new season starting tomorrow. this may take a few days, i dont know, so please be patient.

Fuck Keith...

As for my ballot, I mostly agree with Burky:

Steve Irwin - hold it over.

Too Soon - Some might say Newman, but he lived long and made salad dressing. I have to go with Carlin.

See You In Hell - I considered Heston for a minute... but I think I have to go with the ever-annoying Myron Cope

Red-Shirt Trekkie - Fuck Keith and his Fat Fat vote... that bitch was uber-famous. Either Janez Drnovsex or Clay Felker... no one out obscures me.

Don't Fear The Reaper - Castro for the win.

In 2009 Deadie News, one of my short listers hit: Twins Owner Carl Pohlad, 93. I also have a list of 20 TV stars less obscure than Haut's list... and I'm betting I hit for more points on it than his obscure-list-having ass does. And now an update from the star of Black Dog and She's Like The Wind international recording star:

Los Angeles (E! Online) – Patrick Swayze has always been a fighter on the big screen. Now's he's proving his warrior worth in real life.

. . .

While again refuting tabloid rumors that he's on his deathbed, The Ghost star admitted that the cancer has generated "a lot of fear," particularly after learning that it had spread to his liver.

. . .

As it stands now, Swayze has sworn off the chemo in favor of a new treatment.

"What winning is to me is not giving up, is no matter what's thrown at me, I can take it," Swayze said. "And I can keep going. And also saying... Fuck Keith!"

I agree with burky.... hold over the cash on the steve irwin award
too soon award --- carlin
see u in hell---- jesse helms
red shirted star trec guy/gal--- has to be the pick that spawned the greatest battle cry of all time "fuck keith" lydia shum
dont fear the reaper--- sharon, castro, ali would all be worthy of this great honor.
as always "FUCK ALL YALL" & "FUCK ONE ARMED CANCER HAVING PERUVIAN PHILANTHROPISTS"

My picks:

Steve Irwin Award---No suitable candidates; I vote we hold the cash over for next year's award or until a truly zany death occurs

Too Soon Award---Carlin (Miyagi's Maruaders)

See You in Hell Award---Jesse Helms (Out of Timers); wanted to ban nudity in artwork among other atrocities of the soul

Red-Shirted Star Trek Guy Award---Clay Felker (Celbrity Coffin Jockeys)

Don't Fear the Reaper---Ariel Sharon (Ted William's Head)

Fuck Keith...

Now that the Post-Draft Day hangovers have had a chance to fade, the new year has been rung in and the first weekend of 2009 has passed on just as so many celebrities have done, its time to look ahead to a hopefully bountiful harvest for the ol' Reaper and a new crop of famous stiffs. Now if only we didn't have a commissioner derelict in his duties, we might know what's going on this year. so...

Fuck Dudik...

But first, since we can't look on the site at current information, we are forced to take a look back at 2008 and handle some unfinished business. 29 bodes out of 240 is not awful, but here's hoping we do better out of the 300 walking dead this year. There's a trophy being engraved and a wad of cash to be doled out, so here's what we know so far about last years' awards, starting with the obvious...

Fuck Ben...

   1. The Celebrity Death Pool Don Knotts Memorial Trophy (a.k.a. “the Deadie”) – $235.00
Ben: Miyagi's Marauders

 
   2. The “We Drank The Kool-Aid” award (award for most deaths: 1st place team is exempt from this award) - $40.00
Mattie: The Out of Timers - 6 stiffs
 

   3. The “He’s Not Gonna Be In The Sequel” award (award for 1st overall death scored in the season) - $30.00
Fuck Keith: Worm Food All-Stars - Sir Edmund Hillary
 

   4. *The Steve Irwin Memorial Award (award for craziest death) - $10.00
yet to be determined
 

   5. *The “Too Soon” award (award for the person whose passing was the saddest to see) - $10.00
yet to be determined
 

   6. *The “See you in Hell” award (award is the exact opposite of the previous award) - $10.00
yet to be determined
 

   7. The “We Hardly Knew Ye” award (award for youngest person in the league passing away) - $7.00
Ben: Jeff Healey - 41
 

   8. *The “Red-Shirted Star Trek Guy” award (award for the most obscure person who passed away) – $7.00
yet to be determined
 

   9. *The “Don’t Fear the Reaper” award (award for the person who really should’ve passed away but managed to hang on for another year) - $5.00
yet to be determined
 

  10. The “Last Man Not Standing” award (award for the last pick passing away before the draft of the next year’s teams) - $5.00
Ben: Deep Throat
 

  11. The “Trail of Tears” award (award for the team with the fewest points) $1.00 Sacajawea coin
Tie- BobDad: Byzantine Jihad
and Haut: Date with Elvis

Hopefully, some of our horses will join the likes of Jett Travolta and the other recently departed public figures so Dudik will have motivation to get this site presentable again. Until then, keep an eye out for a ballot or something to determine the as yet undetermined cash and prize recipients. And as always...

Fuck Keith...

John Daly suspended for 6 months from the PGA Tour for his personal troubles. A harbinger of deathly things to come?

Merry Christmas!!! Writer Harold Pinter died at age 78...a 2007 Coffin Jockeys pick, but sadly not picked this year. Also high on my list for Saturday's draft. Can't wait!

Fuck Keith...

Director Robert Mulligan dead today. I had him lined up for next year. Besides being responsible for the career of Reese Witherspoon, I figured he'd actually be a mulligan. Damnit.

Fuck Keith...

Well done on the update. Very cool content.
Mark Felt was from Watergate? I thought he was from the famous porno. That makes a lot of sense now. (kidding)

i know theres been alot going on, so expect a page update tomorrow.

Fuck ben...i cant even get a small victory out of this years trainwreck season without that rat bastard stealing it away from me less than a day after i thought i mightve had last death. Fuck ben

Miyagi's Marauders appear to have clinched this year's game with the passing of Mark Felt---also known as Watergate's "Deep Throat". This extends their lead to 4 points over the Out-of-Timers. They'll need a small miracle---er, tragedy---to overtake the Marauders.

Big Dead Machine avoids the Detroit Lions Shutout curse by scoring a death with NFL Legend Sammy Baugh's passing.

im pissed about it too!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 i was going to keep her as a holdover pick for my 2009 campaign

Keith had her...there was a slight error in spelling on the webpage, but he did have her after further review. This could give him both the first and last death in the year as well.

Dammit, 50's pinup Bettie Page died! Totally on my radar for this year's draft. I hate this time of year when people you're scouting don't make it. I had Odetta marked, too.

Anyway, how did we NOT pick her? Another reason why Wride's bullshit triple amputee Indonesian nun picks should be disallowed. We're leaving good picks on the table. With her fame and aged 85, no one picking her in any of the three seasons we've done this is embarrassing.

Haut continues to be one year late. The Cal Ripken of people in comas, Sunny Von Bulow dies after a 28 year long one.

page has been updated again, including the player power rankings

Betty James has died, who, along with her late husband, invented the Slinky. I actually looked this one up last year, but the husband was credited as the sole inventor where I did my research and was already dead. So I picked the Post-it notes inventor instead. Ah well.

Awesome---Someone hacked into an internet account owned by teenaged sensation Miley Cyrus ("Hanna Montana") claiming she had been killed by a drunk driver Saturday night. Apparently this rumor persisted around the internet for a few hours before Cyrus' people laid the smack down.

That would have been pretty zany. Any chance Billy Ray Cyrus bites it? Afterall, his "Achy Breaky Heart" could "blow up and kill this man". That would be awesome (and tragic). (But mostly awesome)

figures, the one night everyone goes next door after trivia and i dont go out. somone shouldve called me...i wouldve been right over. oh well

Dudik, where were you? All the other board members were at Scoundrel's last night until about 10pm and also at Westpark Tavern until midnight.

Sorry, Dudik, I didn't read your message carefully enough. Yes, Wednesday after Trivia will work, Matt & I always go, Wride 90% of the time, and Ben often. So this is a good time. Scoundrel's in Berea Wednesday night about 9:00.

Former Indians Pitcher and announcer Herb Score dead at 75

Nice job, Dudik. Love the color commentary, although there's much speculation.

As for a board meeting, I'm pretty much up for that whenever. This Friday would work fine; Matt & I will be at a football game Saturday, although we could also make that a board meeting. Just let me know.

i hope everybody digs the new pages...if you havent checked them out go do it now.

im requesting an emergency executive board meeting as soon as possible. i know we just had one, but we didnt really bring anything up. im looking to get the rules ready for the '09 season and i would like to bring up the matter of in season (and possibly drat day) trades. im thinking wednesday after trivia. let me know

page has been updated...sorry for the delay yet again

"Jurassic Park" Author Michael Crichton dead at age 66 after a "private" battle with cancer. WTF, don't these spoiled celebs know they're not allowed to have "private" anythings, let alone private battles with terminal diseases?

I was starting to think I was fucking bulletproof. I have to admit, I'm starting to sweat just a bit.

Wax This, Bitch!

Out of Timers hit again with Studs Terkel. Now just 3 points behind Miyagi's Maruaders with 7 points.

Could Out-of-Timers make a run? They now have 6 points to the Marauders' 10. But they have some real good ones left---Fidel Castro and John Wooden come to mind. Or perhaps a Louis Farrakahn? We all know the last few months of the year Death is busy.

Out of timers hit with the passing of levi stubbs.

Nancy Reagan fell and broke her pelvis yesterday. Ted WIlliam's Head appears poised to make a late move on Miyagi's Maruaders.

It's October! We need some fucking death up in hya

Mr. Clean dead at 92! Was he on anybody's radar? How did we miss this one?

Paul Newman is dead and next week brings in the month of October. That means it's the last quarter of the year, a time that is typically busy with death. If one of the many teams with 4 points hits their game breaker, Miyagi's Marauders could have a run for their money up to through the end of the year. Come on Grim Reaper, let's get rolling!

R.I.P. Paul Newman. Truly a great man who left his mark on the arts. But he lived a full life, so it is a time to celebrate his accomplishments and the arbitrary hand of death as well.

Screen and stage legend and Ohio native Paul Newman dead at the age of 83. Ted Williams Head racks up his 4th point, to move into a tie for second place. great job.

Yeah, I saw that. DWF was a pretty good author. My favorite short story of his is "My Appearance", the one where he lampoons Letterman.

Fuck Keith...

One that rocked me about as hard as Carlin's passing...

one of my favorite authors, David Foster Wallace hung himself to death at age 46! Fucker could have at least let on he was suicidal.

Fuck Keith...

Former Nation of Islam leader W.D. Mohammed died at 74. Yet his successor Louis Farrakan and the Mother of the Nation of Islam, 110-year-old Ruby Muhammad, remain alive. Proof there is no God.

Gosh, my apologies to the (Dennis) Haskins family about any confusion I may have caused. Mr. Belding is indeed not dead and in fact not even 78. On the other hand, he might make an excellent pick one day!

Fuck Keith...

and Fuck you Burkhart...

You feel especially cheated? Imagine how Dennis Haskins feels. Reports of his death have been greatly exaggerated. The man is only 58 and still alive and kicking, you dumb, simple bastard. Don Haskins... some old Basketball Coaching bastard died yesterday, sure. But not Mr. Belding. Get your facts straight, you fuck. I damn near shit my pants...

Fuck everyone...

"Hey, hey, hey, what is going on here?"

Well, this is truly a sad day for all of us because part of our childhood has died. TV's Dennis Haskins, better known as the beloved principal of Bayside High, Mr. Belding, has died at age 78. I feel especially cheated because I didn't even know he was that old.

Holy shit, the movie announcer guy is dead?! Who's going to do trailers now?

Fuck Keith...

(Read in dramatic Movie Announcer fashion...) In a world full of movie trailers... One man stands alone... And one blood clot stands against him...

Don LaFontaine, "the movie announcer guy" dead at the senseless age of 68...

Fuck Keith...

NFLPA head, Hall of Famer Gene Upshaw dies at 63

ohio democrat stephanie tubbs jones dead at 58

Jerry Wexler famed music producer dead at 91

Sweet! Its weird that you posted that because ive been suddenly forced into buying those very items after my apartment got robb...hey, wait a minute!

For Sale>>>
Nintendo Wii
X-Box 360
And a whole bunch of DVD's
If anybody wants to buy them let me know.

the "king of cool" the " black moses" isaac hayes dead at 65

Comedian Bernie Mac dead at 50! And it's not on our obit listings on the home page. Shocker

Fuck Keith...

I thought it was strange to see Skip Caray die of bronchitis... but then this guy died the other day from complications with a broken leg. Crazy shit.

Mr. Blackwell, harsh fashion critic, has been in the hospital and unconscious since Tuesday. Luckily he was merely dressed to induce coma and not dressed to kill...

Fuck Keith...

Artie Lange AWOL again. He skipped scheduled appearances and checked into a rehab center. Another great pick for Ben if it hits.

Skip Caray, son of legendary broadcaster Harry Caray and an accomplished sportscaster in his own right, dead at 68.

If I was the moon, and I was made of green cheese, I'd eat myself.

Fuck Keith...

To answer your question, Burky... Yes. And reported in major dailies no less. Somebody obviously thought he was noteworthy. You uncultured fucks cost me a point. I'll not forget it. Expect challenges to anyone even remotely unknown next year. If you're looking for the warpath... I'm on it, bitches.

Fuck everyone... and especially Keith...

The editor of Time that just died---didn't Wride want to take him and we rejected such a nutty idea.

FUUUUUUUUCK WRIIIIIIDE!!!!!!!!

Amy Winehouse ER visit in the news; allegedly doing fine now.

Okay, I know this is supposed to be about death, but...Ben, Wride, Matty & I were talking 80's toys and no none remembered Sectaurs. So I looked it up, and here they are:

http://x-entertainment.com/messages/323.html/

Sorry to any and all that don't care.

Did anyone see that bit about Randy Pausch, the Carnegie Mellon Computer Science Professor? This is one we should have hit becuase he gave the so-called "last lecture" in Sept. 2007 and it was made a best-selling book. But even though he wasn't crazy famous, he was high profile last year and only 47. Damon went to Carnegie Mellon and really should of had this one, but it is his first year.

Fuck Keith...

Ted Williams' Head scores a point thanks to dearly departed Golden Girl, Estelle Getty, dead at 84. To the world she was Dorothy's mother, Sophia. To Lewey Body Dementia she was worm food.

Fuck Keith...

page is updated

Bobby Murcer was indeed left off Date With Elvis' 2008 roster after having been the Date's 2007 Gamebreaker. Tough, tough luck. But not as tough as it was for Bobby.

Bobby Murcer joins Jim McKay, Bobby Fischer, Merv Griffin and Kurt Vonnegut as deaths picked in previous years but not the year they died.

we had a possible 3rd death today, although he wasnt picked for this year( i dont think, and if not my heart goes out to Date with Elvis...tough luck): bobby ray murcer...ill have the page updated probably monday

To clarify, DeBakey died Friday night and Snow died 2 am Saturday morning. However, both deaths were announced today, and the announcement of the death has always been our threshold for scoring.

(For example, Fidel Castro is possibly already dead; or if he is not, the announcement of his death with likely be delayed at least a few days or weeks, and possibly never. So the Out-of-Timers will only score a point for him when is confirmed dead.)

It's also great to see the action heating up. In spite of Ben's commanding lead with an impressive 10-point performance, it remains anyone's game. If any of the teams in 2nd through 6th place hits their gamebreaker, they'll be right on Ben's tail. And Out-of-timers has some real good ones left that have to go soon, including Castro but also sure-things like John Wooden and Jake LaMotta.

Well, I guess when it comes to death, everyone is a sure-thing eventually.

Lastly, it's worth noting the importance of the game-breaker. Both previous champions hit theirs, Ben has his, and it's hard to see anyone overtaking Ben unless they hit theirs. So when we draft for next season, you must remember to conisder your gamebreaker very, very carefully as it undoubtedly holds the keys to your success.

July 12, 2008 is actually a historic day in the Don Knotts Memorial Death Pool.

With Michael DeBakey and Tony Snow, we have our first ever multiple-death day. Also, these two deaths put us over our previous high total for combined deaths. And it's only July 12! Good job everyone.

The Out-of-Timers' hit now vaults them into second place ahead of the venerable Mr. Wride.

I should add that Snow's passing is truly sad. Besides Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity and Brit Hume, Tony Snow was one of Fox News' biggest contributors. He was the original host of their Sunday show, so his passing is in some ways as important to the world of politics as Tim Russert. Also, I met Tony Snow when I was a bartender at Portner's in Old Town Alexandria. He was a genuinely nice man. RIP.

And DeBakey's legacy is irreplaceable in the world of medicine. He was a giant.

But death stops for no man, and the world stops for no one's death. And the Don Knotts CDP rolls on...

Fuck Keith...

Fok Fox Anchors and Fuck Heart Surgeons. Matty hits again with Mike DeBakey.

Fuck Keith...

Fuck philanthropists, former Bush Press Secretary and Fox News Anchor Tony Snow has died, giving Uncle Harry's Marshmallow Tree of Death a much-needed 2-pointer.

Fuck Keith...

Too Soon!! John Templeton died today.. 95 years young. I was saving the British Philanthropist for a late round sure thing in next year's draft, but... but you took him. In your wisdom, Lord, you took him, as you took so many bright flowering young men at Khe Sanh, at Langdok, at Hill 364. These young men gave their lives. And so would John... John who loved Philanthropy.

Fuck Keith...

page is updated

Out-of-timers move into 4th place with today's death of former Sen. Jesse Helms...

ha...i dont know if you guys are getting the same ads on the left as i am, but im seeing 3 for grief counseling, one for a therapist, and one for something else. amusing.

Fuck Keith...

For the record, you bastards wouldn't allow any of my Philanthropists on death's door this year, so I'll just have to beat you without them.

I just realized Vanek has already accumulated more than a full third of his possible points for the year... He's only got 19 earnable points left, whereas I have 42...

Fuck Keith...

oh yeah one more thing......
"FUCK PHILANTHROPISTS"

im rooting for you wride!!!!! the more deaths you get the better draft pick i will have. will i take ted kennedy? or maybe patrick swayze?
nevertheless you will find some obsolete 3rd world dictators secretary that will cost you the "he's not gonna be in the sequel" award yet again.
"FUCK KEITH" "FUCK LASER FRISBEES" "FUCK TRON" "FUCK WRIDE" "FUCK BURKY"
"FUCK THE BIG DEAD MACHINE" "FUCK 3RD WORLD DICTATORS"
"FUCK DON KNOTTS" "FUCK YO MAMA"
"FUCK BEN" "FUCK KERMIT LOVE" FUCK ALL OF THEM IN THE FUCKIN EARHOLE

Fuck Keith...

I believe my 4 points on 3 deaths with younger corpses than Keith put me in 2nd place.. poised for my third quarter run on the leader. I know Ben's top six picks are still warm for the moment, but I have a good feeling about some of my horses coming in and being turned to glue. 6 points back is only 2 big deaths and I have faith in the frailty of my team. Brace yourself for more updates Dudik!

Fuck Keith...

we got one...wride hits with clay felker. ill update the page tonight after my game or sometime tomorrow.

Wow, lots to say. I can't keep it all straight.

Kermit, hilarious.
I think we should keep the online riot going. Very clever, and funny.
Dudik, well done my friend...well done. Looks very nice. I'm not going to say it was worth the wait but pretty close.

You're telling me that Big Bird's costume was designed by a guy named KERMIT?!!

WTF?

heres another one for burky....
'Big Bird' costume creator Kermit Love dies at 91

check the webpage...added something new

its ok burky...it was kinda fun watching you guys all riled up because i hadnt updated the webpage in so long. after the threats of rioting in the virtual streets however, i figured it was time to get it done.

Damn, Dudik. Very nice, I especially like the career stats. It just shows you're gonna Dudik things your way. Sorry for the Tron frisbee comment.

oh...you guys wanted an update? hmmm, i hadnt noticed.

im starting on it now...its gonna be awhile and to be honest parts of it are gonna be half-assed (no witty comments about our deaths, just a list for example), but you bastards will finally get that update youve all been waiting for.

fuck...well, all y'all.

You know Dudik, I was on your side because I know you're busy. But after literally 3 months since your last posting on the homepage (which was only to say you were sorry for not updating the previous month), I think I'm ready to get hostile like the others.

I propose an online riot. Here is my angry emoticon >:(

He is holding a molvotov cocktail and a hand-painted sign saying "UPDATE OR ELSE!"

Then I throw a virtual brick through your window in cyberspace, severely damaging your avatar. If we were two guys trapped in a computer as in the classic 1982 film Tron, I would fire a laser frisbee at your ass.

So there. Update...now!!!

DUDE, UPDATE THE PAGE...NOW!!!!!!!!!

Sorry Wride, I forget people's handles on this thing...So fuck Captain Rotten, whoever that is.

I'll tell you when we'll get an update is when Dudik finally scores one it will be up within 30 minutes. But he's shutout this year, a poor showing from a once proud deadie. There's still six months though, and news is Amy Winehouse has emphesma. In her 20's. From smoking crack. Nice.

Edited by author 06-23-2008 11:44 AM
I take it back.. Ben had him this year. Fuck Ben...

This must have been what it was like for you guys last year when me and the Too-Lazy-to-Update-Bastard were running away with it...

Fuck Keith...

And Fuck Burky for the Fuck Wride below... i didn't beat you to a post? That was Keith! Fuck Keith dammit! Since the Fat Fat incident on draft day!

I can't believe no one had carlin. He's an alum, is he not? Seems like someone Ben might have picked in days gone by. Oh well. I'll miss him.

Fuck Keith...

Fuck Ben for being up by so many points. Fuck Wride for always beating me to the post. Fuck Dudik for never updating shit. Fuck the rest of you for various other legitimate reasons. RIP Carlin.

Edited by author 06-23-2008 08:23 AM
george carlin dead at 71

That's devastating. Russert is one of the few celebrities worth caring about. What a shock.

Meet the Press host Tim Russert dead of an apparent heart attack today at 58 years of age. I blame Hillary - the stress of the Democratic Primary race is clearly what did him in...

Fuck Keith...

Oscar-winning actor Paul Newman, of Ted William's Head, is rumored to have cancer, in addition to being really old. Stock should rise if he makes it through the year, although he is only 1 point.

Legendary sportscaster Jim McKay dead at 86. The Big Dead Machine had McKay on last year's team, but he went undrafted this year.

This is AWESOME. The inventor of Pringles potato chips died. He asked to be cremated and his remains stored in a Pringles can:

http://news.cincinnati.com/apps/pbcs.dll/a.../NEWS0104/805310357

Fuck Ben and Mattfor no apparent reason.

Fuck everybody EXCEPT me. Also, Sen. Robert Byrd in the hospital for the third time in 5 months.

fuck everbody up to and including me

Yeah I was gonna post Bo Diddley since he's on my team. Fuck Wride.

Bo Diddley dead at 79

Fuck Matt.

Edited by author 05-29-2008 01:56 AM
thanks creamy...

seriously, i will get an update done friday...with the 2 deaths we had this past weekend, plus the 1 or 2 others that weve had since ive updated the page, i REALLY need to get back on track on this. itll get done.

FUCK DUDIK!

i really did mean to update the page today, but things came up and i was unable to do so...im shooting for a friday update now.

We all know these things come in three's. With Pollack and Simplot down, who could be next?

Another one! Potato Magnate J.R. Simplot has kicked it at age 99. Crypt Kickers are on the board. He actually died May 25.

Jesus, Dudik, I support you but this is really getting ridiculous. It's going to be far more work catching up than if you just make yourself update these things one at a time. The next time you are thinking of going to the bar, just think "no, I've got to update the website" and skip it. That's all it takes.

The Drought is Over...Oscar Winner Sydney Pollack Dead at 73...Fuck Ben, Dudik & Keith

So say, "Good Night, Dick!"

Dick Martin of "Laugh In' died! I think somebody may have had him?

Hey hay hay. Let's get off of the Dudik's case. He's gonna Dudik things his way. You gotta remember he has other shit to do. I heard he's engineering a hybrid between Tuna and Bass which will be sold at Seven Seas under the name Buna. It will increase his networth to over $100 fishmillions.

Er-ah, er-ah, Teddy Kennedy's good as dead. Now somebody, er-ah, find me a whoaarh to give me a, er-ah, blow jaab.

yeah, i know im waaaaay behind on the page, and ive been planning updates, however ive yet to actually pull one off.

i guess "ive got a game" isnt a good excuse for this one. itll get updated...eventually. im thinking maybe this week? if not this week then monday when i get back from put in bay.

BOSTON - "A cancerous brain tumor caused the seizure Sen. Edward M. Kennedy suffered over the weekend, doctors said Tuesday in a grim diagnosis for one of American politics' most enduring figures. Average survival can range from less than a year for very advanced and aggressive types — such as glioblastomas — or to about five years for different types that are slower growing."
if he makes it to next year hes gonna be one helluva good pick
fuck me and the horse i rode in on.
how about we get a frigging page update sometime soon. the big dead machine is neglecting his duties as webmaster. my new battle cry is....
FUCK DUDIK

We missed another good one with the passing of California wine mogul Robert Mondavi. Apparently he was looking for a cask of Amontillado.

Also, Sen. Ted Kennedy had a seizure, so he might make an excellent pick if for next year if he survives. I don't think anyone has him this year. Did someone pick him in one of the previous seasons?

Seeing as someone doesn't feel like updating the page. I just wanted to keep you guys aware of the fact that I'M STILL WINNING!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA and fuck Keith in his hot, wet vagina.

i wonder if the worms wil be able to taste all 31 flavors?

Irvine Robbins, founder of the Baskin-Robbins Ice Cream Empire, dead at age 90.

Wow, Ben is running away with it. Anyone know how many points he has?

Fuck Keith...

Vanek scores yet again with the passing of Dr. LSD himself, Albert Hofmann, who tripped off into oblivion at the age of 102.

various heterosexual key words and other such inuendos

...and Fuck Keith

Artie Lange is back on the Stern Show and not dead. For now.

Goddammit. Many of you will recall that I left my master list of death prospects in Washington during the draft.

On that fabled list was one Danny Federici, a keyboard player in Bruce Springsteen's E Street Band. He had melanoma, which finally took him down at the age of 58.

Wride, you really should have gone the extra mile and taken a taxi from the airport to my house while you had a layover. Bastard.

Fuck Keith...

Not sure if anyone has been watching the deaths lately, but we recently lost someone... or realized the loss of someone... and i wanted to make sure you all knew he wasn't the guy i picked... unfortunately...

With the 140th pick of the draft, I selected Abu Ayyub al-Masri, not to be confused with Pakistani al-Qaeda operative Abu Ubaida al-Masri who died of Hep B about 4 months ago but we're just finding out about it now. To add insult to injury, the one I picked was actually taken off the US Mostr Wanted List last month, so death-by-black-ops-assassin is a much less likely ending for my 3 point late rounder. Dammit.

tits pussy gang bang barely legal muff diving lesbian whores

... and Fuck Keith

I'm not sure who else listens to the Stern Show regularly, but I thought I should mention that there is probably a 50% chance Artie Lange will be dead within the next week. That would give Miyagi's Marauders another 3 points.

On Thursday's Show, Artie was having a gripe with his assistant, Teddy, and Howard brought them on the air to work it out, like he always does. Somehow it escalated into a fullblown freakout fight, with Artie totally losing his mind and attacking Teddy, and it took like 4 guys to hold him back from beating the guy’s brains in. Everyone was screaming and freaking out, Robin was screeching at everyone and almost crying and freaking out, and it and ended with Howard telling Artie to go home, and that he couldn’t attack people in the workplace. Then Artie saying that it is his nature and he can’t promise it won’t happen again—so howard told him that if he couldn’t promise that, he couldn’t continue on the show. So Artie RESIGNED and walked out.

You can listen to this event for free here:
http://www.orbitcast.com/archives/audio-li...rom-stern-show.html

The Show is on vacation now for a week, and Artie, a known drug abuser, drinker and prostitute frequenter, is likely to do a Belushi because the show was his life and the one last strand keeping him from unravelling. If he doesn't die next week, he should be a top pick next year because he really will die once he realizes that show made (and broke) his career and now he's nothing. I love Artie in the context of the Show, but Jackie the Jokeman proved that it's a role that can be filled by many and you will be forgotten. And that fat fuck has been on a self-destructive streak for years now that has no where else to go.

Those damned, dirty apes.

Fuck Keith...

finally... the drought is over and we can pry the gun from that fuck's cold, dead hand. (too soon?) I think Matt's next team should be named Soylent Green in his honor.

now if only my old decrepit actors and people with alsheimers for 30 years would follow his lead...

fuck pussy tits teen gangbang snatch boobs

... and Fuck Keith

i know i know...ive been meaning to update, and i said on the page i would be updating the page by the end of the week. i just never said WHAT week... ;)

im going to try to do it tomorrow, but with "the fish millions" to manage and little league keeping me plenty busy i dont know if ill have time. i will make the effort to get something done...hopefully

fuck keith

I'm sorry Dudik, you do a great job in general. In fact, did you notice this page has 266 unique views? That's a pretty good worldwide audience.

Just nudging you. We want to see these bodies pile up.

Dudik, you really need to update this thing. I can't even recall who's died in the past month. I know you're a busy man what with the fish millions to manage, so I don't mean to bust your balls too much. But maybe we can get an update this weekend?

Could Ben be running away with this thing? Check out the news on Prince Phillip:

http://www.comcast.net/news/articles/gener...-BRITAIN-PHILIP-DC/

FUCK ME.....
herb peterson, inventor of the egg mcmuffin sammich, died at 89 today.

Did Wride just say "fowl play"? Who is this guy, Keith Olbermann?

Fuck Keith...

Not a good year for fast food chain founders. Just as West Coasters are getting over the recent passing of the Carl's Jr. founder, ghetto children the world over are weeping for the late Al Copeland, founder of Popeye's Chicken, dead at 64. If you're like me, you think maybe his untimely demise was the result of some chicken lover's revenge plot, but rest assured - no fowl play was involved. He died of salivary gland cancer.

I think we're about due for a legit death. It's been a week... unless you want to count my bracket dying over the weekend, poor bastard thing.

Clit licking teen titties cheerleader fetish dildo fucking nympho slut

... and Fuck Keith.

We also missed another one college kids all over the world are crying about: the inventor of spaghettios passed away the other day. Ill have the page updated sometime tomorrow. Fuck keith.

Fuck Keith...

The Out of Timers score a solo point with the death of legendary sci-fi author Arthur C. Clarke!

But in true Chris Webber of Michigan fashion, we missed Anthony Minghella, director of such epics as The English Patient and Talented Mr. Ripley.

Pussy bitch cum guzzler tits anal cream pie barley legal bukake teen

...and Fuck Keith.

Recent Hospital visits: Former British PM Margaret Thatcher and Sen. Robert Byrd.

I know this sounds bad but I won't be getting the first pick in the draft next year so I kinda hope he doesn't make it.

i hope so...i think hes this years ariel sharon

So do you think Patrick Swayze will make until next year?

Also, I want to add that Byzantine Jihad's pick of Hugo Chavez looks much more promising now that Venezuela is on the brink of war with Columbia and/or Ecuador.

Matt & I also discussed how the death pool has made us all much more savvy followers of international politics. (But that doesn't mean we're going to let Wride pick some priest in Microneisa that's a triple amputee with diabetes and a pickled liver.)

Jeff Healy marked our 10th death of 2008, in just a little over two months. That surpasses our entire total of 2006, which saw 9 deaths chosen. Well done everyone! I hope to get on the board soon.

Ben's six-point death is indeed a first, but let's not forget we had a different scoring system in 2006, because Dana reeve would have also been a six-pointer. But really they're apples and oranges because no one would have thought to pick Jeff Healy back then. It's sort of like how people say you can't compare Babe Ruth to Barry Bonds, they played in different eras. Well, Matt & I have dubbed these early years of the death pool as the "Slow Corpse Era". We are now entering the "Rapid Corpse Era"---an exciting new time in death.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with a FUCK BEN on this one. 7 points?! And its only March! I am already out of this thing. I can have Brittney Spears go any day and I'll only be in like fourth place.

Wride, I noticed among your hetero ramblings you put "Kate" in there. WTF?
Anyways, I think we can stop doing that, the CPU seems to know we aren't a gay men's chat room anymore.

For old time's sake: sex with girls, juggs, Susie, shaved pussy, the shocker, wet cunt, Michelle, 18 years old, short skirts, cleavage, Kim, horny coeds, show me your tits, interns, Laura, hippie chicks, melons, etc...

ok youre right.... FUCK KEITH does have a better ring to it

no more fuck keith. im not the cheating bastard that hit a 6 pointer, so as i said before FUCK BEN!!!!!!!!!!! i hope jeff healeys ghost ass rapes you while you sleep, because i am jealous that i didnt pick that blind canadian pig fucker. with that i leave you with....
huge titties, wet pussy, interspecies erotica, meat curtains

FUCK BEN

All I have to say is...

(clears throat)
(mic feedback)
I'm the shit, who's your Daddy? Thank You.


large breasts, tit fuck, fun bags, sweater meat, love muffins

Fuck Keith

Fuck Keith...

As for Jeff Healey... What did he do? What did he say? ...to turn those angel (of death) eyes his way? I suspect possible foul play on the part of Ben "I Wish You Dead" Vanek. Damn you and your 7 points on 2 deaths.

Titties Snatch Cunt Boobs Double Penetration Kate Blow Job

and Fuck Keith

FUCK BEN

Edited by author 03-01-2008 02:29 AM
could it be john wooden's time? broken left wrist? broken collarbone? im rooting for this one...

Good to see Damon on the board. Shame nobody picked Buckley. Fuck Keith.

Edited by author 02-27-2008 02:10 PM
Fuck Keith...

Congrats on the noted Stiller's celebrity dropping dead. That gives us 9 deaths in just 58 days - just better than one per week!

I was surprised to see that no one had William F. Buckley, Jr. who also died today at 82.

titties slut cum shot donkey punch pussy boobs cream pie

and Fuck Keith.

death to smootchie is on the board with the passing of "terrible towel" inventor and long time pissburgh squeeler announcer myron cope. dead at 79

Fuck Keith...

But I'm gaining on you. Janez Drnovšek, dead at 57, puts me in second place with 3 points off two stiffs. It also gives us a collective 8 corpses in under 2 months! Nice work everyone!

tits cock boobies snatch blow job cunt sex pussy

and Fuck Keith

Fuck Keith.

In other news, Fidel Castro resigns as President of Cuba. This could mean one of two things: either he is so sick that his death is imminent, or he actually died and the Communist Party of Cuba made this announcement to transition power more easily before admiting he is in fact dead.

And the son of Death Pool Hall of Famer Steve Irwin, little Bob Irwin, was bitten recently by a boa constrictor. He's okay, but it's an indicator that snakes and other wildlife are indeed dangerous and that either Bob or big sister Bindi could meet an untimely fate if they their mom continues her negligence and allows further handling of dangerous animals in the pursuit of fame. I also suspect these two will one day be the equivalent of child stars and could get into drugs, partying, etc.

the power of billy dee compels you!!!!!!
in billy dee williams i trust
the word of the sanchez

double sided dildo, pearl necklace, wet pussy, double d titties, gangbang

FUCK ME!!!!!

fuck keith. she was so my gamebreaker in the 6th round if not for that snake keith, fuck him. the only silver lining i see is that he wasted his gamebreaker on a hockey coach that's not going to die, but who will share in the fuck keith battlecry. this hurts... lydia "fei-fei" shum, dead from liver cancer of all things at 60. fuck feith.

tits boobs pussy snatch sex sloppy wet blow jobs facial cum shots

... and fuck keith.

fuck keith! lydia shum, aka fat fat, dead at 60.

Nancy Reagan in the hospital after a fall...

boobs, tits, vaginas, ututeres, ovaries, and the like...

BTW, click on "About these ads" to the left. It confirms my suspiscion. Apparently if you have 5 or more messages on a topic, they will match it with your ad. So the gay stuff was indeed getting us gay ads. So once more---WET CLIT, PERKY TITTIES, TIGHT ASS, HOT BLONDES, YOUNG WET BITCHES

Billy Graham in the hospital:

http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5jrYXdMC...fDwsxF4-TAD8UPOJCG1

oh yeah,FUCK ME.

when in rome......
WET PUSSY LIPS, DOUBLE D TITTIES, BIG HAIRY BEAVER!!!!!!

I think it's working! CUNT, VAGINA, PUSSY LIPS, HARD NIPPLES, LABIA, CUM DUMPSTER, TITTIES!

Anyone think of Jaws great Roy Schneider? Dead at 75. Woulda been 2 points.

Oh yeah, FUCK KEITH.

oh yeah, BOOBS, TITS, NAKED HOT CHICKS, ETC...

Fuck Keith, again...

oh yeah, and fuck keith

ha ha...praise be to willie

chalk up another one for the good guys!!!!! phyllis a whitney dead at 104. with that captain rotten crotch reclaims the lead with 2 deaths. let the "FUCK KEITH" battle cry ring thru the streets!!!!!
in billy dee williams i trust.
the word of the sanchez

mine says "Famous People Diabetes" and "Dead People Search"

Maybe the page just knows when Burky is looking, and picks accordingly.

Or maybe Dudik is right... in which case... boobs.. tits.. and other such playthings.

ha ha...oh my god you may be right, so BOOBS BOOBS BOOBS!

I'm not sure if we all have the same view of this page, but did you guys notice the ads in the left margin? "Gay Singles with Muscles" and "Queers in History"? It seems recent discussions have redirected how we're being marketed to.

I don't even wanna take "The Gay Quiz," given my track record.

check the honorable mentions page...

Edited by author 02-04-2008 02:26 PM
I have to admit, I'm very pleased with the deaths so far. I know there's usually a lull in the middle of the year, but I don't believe we've ever started out so strong. Well done.

P.S. Tom Brady's gay.

I just want to say that I had toed with taking Tom Brady out of hatred for him and given last night's performance he would have been a good pick for suicide watch.

Also, read Earl Butz's comments. Man that guy was crazy. Good job, Ben. Good job, all, for a great first month of death.

I'm pretty sure the gay jokes started on draft day when Burky proclaimed the staggering number of famous and/or influential men he'd let play cock billiards with his prostate if he had the chance.

I'm pretty sure we'll see plenty more Celebrity Extra exclusives on the horrors of the whorepack this year... no awards show honoraries or in memoriams tho. On the other hand, if any of them have plans to go to Kenya soon... that could all change. Not a good place to be in 2008... legislators shot.. politicians blown up with car bombs.. athletes pegged with poison arrows.. some crazy shit!

I think the gay jokes all started with Heath Ledger. Anyway, apologies again to Wride and any gay spectators randomly scanning us on the internet. Let's be classy: leave the gay jokes behind and focus on death.

Besides, I think the Grim Reaper is actually gay. We don't want to piss him off.

Uh oh...WHOREPACK! WHOREPACK! WHOREPACK!

LOS ANGELES (AP) -- Britney Spears was taken from her home by ambulance early Thursday and escorted to the hospital by more than a dozen police officers in cars, on motorcycles and in helicopters.

damnit burky,you need to either dudik things my way or the highway. ha! after all these years i finally got to use that line. awesome. and whats with the gay jokes all of a sudden?

Edited by author 01-30-2008 12:17 PM
Does this mean I'm going to get hit by a van? And will Andy Wride die while riding something?
And I suppose to keep with the gay jokes, does that mean that Matt's going to die from his ass getting beat like a tom-tom?

Jesus, we come across as very homophobic in this forum. I want to say to all gays out there, I support you. This shouldn't be a hostile environment for people like Wride.

And Dudick is going to die from AIDS contracted from some Dude's Dick.

Wait a minute. With that logic, shouldn't Heath Ledger have jumped off a building?

HAHAHAHA, Brian Buttsexfarm. Fucking hilarious!

Dammit, another guy I didn't pick but was on my list---the one I left in Washington. Gordon B. Hinkley, 97, head of the Mormon church.

about damn time Suharto... thanks for hangin' in til 2008 for me though.

Also, good thing you didn't try to pick Brando's son... I'd have contested on the grounds of him not being famous enough on his own merits, and for you acting like a Bag of Dicks... which is to say... acting like me.

Suharto finally kicked it. I'm proud to report this fact within a half hour of its announcement at 3am EST.

http://www6.comcast.net/news/articles/gene.../Indonesia.Suharto/

Also, Marlon Brando's son Christian dies at age 49. I had briefly considered him.

You know with a name like "Winehouse" you almost feel she was predestined to be a substance abuser. I mean, if my name was "Brian Buttsexfarm" I'd probably end up gay, and if it was "Brian Murderfactory" I'd probably have the urge to kill somebody, or at least hurt them.

That blurb Wride posted failed to mention in that same video she said she took like a dozen valium a few minutes before the crack and ecstasy.

Alas, she may be gettin a grip:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/7207644.stm

I'm thinking the best whore pack pick this year remains Britney Spears until further notice.

ahhh, crack whores...ya gotta love 'em!

Edited by author 01-25-2008 12:53 AM
Maybe Ledger's death will save others... I sure hope the record execs can make her listen to reason. From IMDB:

Label Stands by Winehouse
Amy Winehouse's record label has pledged to fully support the troubled star after she was filmed taking Class A drugs. Fears for the singer's health were sparked last summer following a drugs overdose and were further fueled after she pulled out of her U.K. tour in November. Any hopes the volatile star had cleaned up her act were dashed this week when video footage surfaced of her apparently smoking crack cocaine and snorting ecstasy at her East London home on Friday. However, Universal Music Group has no plans to ditch Winehouse - and has vowed to help the singer back to good health. A statement from the label reads, "We are deeply disappointed and upset by these latest revelations and are doing everything we can to offer Amy our full support in dealing with her problems."

im taking the other faggot cowboy next year. the ghost of john wayne lives!!!!!

DAH, dammit Heath Ledger. You can't even die right!

I'm starting a new club. "Fuck Dudik's friends"

Fuck Heath Ledger... the least he could have done, as a courtesy to others, would be to let on a little in advance that he was a drug fiend with a death wish like that little Renfro fucker. Oh well... some people are a little more forthcoming with what ails them...

JAKARTA, Indonesia - The health of former Indonesian dictator Suharto deteriorated Wednesday, with a potentially lethal infection spreading through his body, his doctors said.

Suharto, has developed digestive trouble and severe pneumonia, said Dr. Joko Raharjo, a member of the presidential medical team.

"We are trying hard to find and detect the bacteria and treat him with proper antibiotics, but we cannot guarantee it will be successful," he told reporters.

Suharto, who was rushed to a hospital with anemia and a dangerously low heart rate Jan. 4, has suffered multiple organ failure and is on a ventilator, dialysis machine and is being fed through a tube.

Yeah, Chris Webber...that's damn clever.

No, I wasn't saying I could do any better. You did a great job. My only thoguht was just that it was unholy.

Ted Williams is also disturbing, but more funny than offensive. Speaking of offensive:

"PEOPLE WHO ANNOY YOU" N_GGERS

my favorite pic though is still chris webber...i couldnt have come up with a better one for matt's team.

Edited by author 01-19-2008 01:51 AM
hey, its what we do :)

seriously, if you or mark (or anyone for that matter) can find a better pic, send it to me and ill put it up...that was the best i could do at the time.

and fuck sakie for having the co-owner of the rams and taking the lead (see the page for the update)

Edited by author 01-19-2008 12:28 AM
Jesus, Dudik. The team picture for Mortician's Wet Dream might be a little out of bounds. Or maybe a lot out of bounds. It's like 90% horrifying and offensive, and 10% funny. But that 10% is outrageously funny. Being associated with this pool and you guys will never cease to be a risky proposition...

i dont know how long its gonna be up on wikipedia, but apparently we have our first zombie...on 1-16 it appears that benny parsons has died again. weird.

Man, you guys are on top of things. I guess I'm an hour late on the Bobby Fischer news. Damn!

Oh and Fuck Keith!

Tough luck, Wride. If it makes you feel better, reclusive World Chess Champion Bobby Fischer died today. He was a 2007 Uncle Harry pick. And the guy who invented the Hula Hoop and the Frisbee is dead. Matt and I looked him up when we were searching inventors, but we left him off our lists because we couldn't verify his age.

Bobby Fischer:
http://www6.comcast.net/news/articles/gene...01/18/Obit.Fischer/

Richard Knerr of Wham-O:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2008-01-17-Knerr_N.htm

Bobby Fischer has passed. Tough break Burky, he was a couple weeks late.

Edited by author 01-17-2008 06:08 PM
As the Honorable Mentions page points out, young actor Brad Renfro died a couple days ago. He was one of my short list long shots of Zach Braff ilk along with Orlando Bloom. I let the tide of the draft pull me into picking the female members of the whorepack instead... much to my cost. Damn you, Burkhart, and your Bag o' Dicks taunts! I knew i should have stuck to my gameplan...

Edited by author 01-16-2008 01:12 PM
Here's an article on how Castro can no longer speak and plans to communicate with the public from now on only through his writings:

http://www6.comcast.net/news/articles/gene.../12/25/Cuba.Castro/

Which is awful news for Matty, because if he's only communicating through writings, than he truly will never die. His writings will be like Tupac Shakur records, a seemingly endless supply of drivel convincing believers that he faked his own death and is still alive.

Stupid doctors...

from Yahoo:

"Doctors battle to save Indonesia's Suharto

JAKARTA (Reuters) - Doctors were battling on Monday to save the life of former Indonesian President Suharto, who remains critically ill.

The 86-year-old former general, who ruled for more than three decades, is still on a ventilator and doctors said his health had worsened on Sunday morning as fluid in his left lung triggered organ failure.

The head of the medical team told a news conference on Monday that there were still big concerns over fluid build-up and infection in the lungs.

"The general condition this morning is improving. His breathing is still assisted and heart functions have also shown some improvement," said Mardjo Soebiandono, adding that Suharto's consciousness, which has fluctuated in recent days, had improved with a reduction of sedatives.

After the news conference, he told reporters: "He is ex-army, his fighting spirit is extraordinary."

Soebiandono had said on Sunday there was only a 50-50 chance Suharto could survive."

at age 86, Suharto's death would push the Coffin Jockeys past Cap'n Rotten in the overall standings.

Also, I updated my research today.. Sir Hillary was the 4th death on my top 600 names. If only i'd gone for the older folks instead of obscure multi-pointers... oh well.

im hoping its not another one and done for the year.

Sir Edmund Hillary is also a great "value pick" at 121 overall.

Edited by author 01-11-2008 08:37 AM
YEAH FUCK KEITH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh wait.....
wormfood allstars come out swinging.
now introducing you the 2008 DNMCDP "hes not going to be in the sequel" award winner Sir Edmund Hillary dead at 88.
Suharto can eat the worms from hillarys rotting ass.
the word of the sanchez

I reiterate my draft day 6th round battle cry: Fuck Keith! It should have been Suharto, that stubborn son of a bitch.

i like the MVP idea...i can maybe get a separate trophy for that. something to think about for next yr maybe.

also, bag o' dicks will come down shortly and will be replaced by your team name...i was wondering how long it would take for you to notice ;)

Edited by author 01-09-2008 01:09 AM
The Bag O' Dicks title can stay on the site so long as the real team name shows up on the trophy each year. Celebrity Coffin Jockeys... mark it, dude.

Also... I want to petition the league office to possibly hold an MVP election each season for the Most Valuable Passing. This honor will be reserved for the one team member who's passing meant the most to their team. For example, the innagural season would have been a tight race between Don Knotts going first to show the rest how it's done, and Dana Reeve who put the Big Dead Machine ahead for good. Last year would have been a tight race between Tammi Faye Massner who racked up a ton of points, and either Eval Knieval who put the CCJ up, or his gamebreaker teammate Dan Fogelberg for putting the proverbial nail in the coffin, so to speak.

Who knows who will have the most impact this season and have their passing be declared now and forever the Most Valuable Passing of the 2008 Don Knotts Memorial Celebrity Death Pool!

webpage has been updated...check it out

I am stupid. Here I took back the ailing world leader with a failing heart and regularly hemmoraging vital organs, but i forgot to take OSU Football's National Title Hopes.. one of last season's biggest hits, clearly due for another payoff in the dead and dying catergory this year. All the signs were there, we just chose not to see them. I mean, there's a sure thing, and then there's the Buckeyes in the Championship Game (3 of them in 2007! - Football, Basketball and Soccer). Guess I botched it again, but at least I wasn't alone.

I second that motion! Stupid Wride.

stupid wride...

(from wikipedia) On January 4, 2008, Suharto, 86, was rushed to the Pertamina hospital, Jakarta. His medical condition deteriorated due to complications resulting to weak heart, swelling of limbs and stomach, and partial renal failure, but he was conscious as of January 5. Surgery is needed regarding his pacemaker.[32] Suharto's health signs improved on Sunday but he remained critical, after haemodialysis.[33]

This might be the year of the whore pack. After drunken reluctance and sober regret for picking Britney, it appears that may have been a solid choice afterall.

Britney was forcibly removed from her home yesterday "for her own safety and the safety of others." She is on a 72-hour psychiatric watch and is real clsoe to going over the deep end. I just hope she does the damage to herself and not the children.

Potentially troublesome news, gang:

From Yahoo! -
 LONDON (Reuters) - A glitch in the way cells clear damaged proteins could be the trigger for the symptoms of Parkinson's disease, researchers said in a finding that could lead to new treatments for the incurable condition.

The finding could potentially lead to drugs to treat the symptoms but not cure the disease, which affects more than a million patients in the United States alone and is marked by the death of brain cells that produce dopamine.

Cuervo said a drug to fix the breakdown in Parkinson's patients was years away because it would take researchers time to understand fully how the process worked.

"This is not something that is going to lead to a treatment tomorrow," she said. "The hope is within five years we can get companies to find a drug able to activate this system."

Thank you gentlemen for a good time. I am sorry I had to miss Ben's imitation of a dog drinking out of the toilet bowl and him trying to save the young lady from what I am not sure. Also I cant figure why Wride was hogging the chips as he was laying there comatose.

Unfortunately, animal picks are not allowed. I wanted to pick Moose, the dog from Frasier, and I would have got a hit on that one because he went last year. The difficulty comes with determining value since the animal's age is not on par with humans.

Besides, if we did that, Wride would find some 3-year-old philanthropist hamster in England clinging to life on a respirator due to a freak salt-lick accident.

Edited by author 12-31-2007 09:36 AM
Happy New Year. I'm ready for a fun 2008. Did anyone have the world's oldest Orangutan? She just passed.....how sad. Thanks for letting me play.

We all may have botched a pair of gimmies. In the wake of Eval Knieval's oh-so-timely death this past year, you'd think someone would have spotted these two motorists with a death wish. As part of the New Year's festivities on Las Vegas, Australian cyclist Robbie Maddison is shooting for a world record bike jump of over 300 ft. His buddy from New Zealand, Rhys Millen is going to try and be the first to make an off road vehicle do a complete backflip, mid jump. One of these lads will not live to see Jan. 2, 2008. Both would have been 3 pointers, 6 if you made them your game breaker. And if they died in the first minutes of the new year, you'd likely have the first corpse title making your money back only 3 days after the draft. If one of my horses comes in today, i'm taking one of these guys as my supplimental.

yeah, im kinda glad wride hit again...at least now im not worried about trying to come back in a tie game. well done sir.

yeah, we have gotten alot better since last season. if you go back and look at what we did last year compared to this year death-wise, its a dramatic increase just between the original 6. well done all around.

Let's not count our corpses before they've cooled... Dudik is only a child actress and an old guy away from taking this thing over. And Uncle Harry himself only needs for Brittany to mother her child incorrectly, and for a black athlete hating serial killer to take out some combination of Frazier, Tyson and Owens... and he's got control. December is a deadly time of year after all and there's still 3 weeks left.

That makes 3 gamebreakers tho... and 21 total deaths predicted in the 2007 draft class - that's more than an entire team's roster! And with something like 280 picks in the upcoming draft, I have to think we're only going to get better. What a great fucking game.

Goddamn, Wride. 7 of 20 picks---that's 35%. It's not good to be someone on your list. When we started this thing, I woulda thought that kind of performance was out of reach. Well done. Helluva comeback, too.

Dan Fogelberg is dead!!!! Andy Wride now has a commanding lead and becomes the first member of the double-digit club. ZANY

one last thing...i know i missed a few guys while updating the honorable mentions page, but i cant remember who. if you guys think of anyone, let me know and ill put them in.

Edited by author 12-13-2007 12:06 PM
he was on my watch list for '08...oh well. ill be updating the page shortly, sorry for the delay

Ike Turner---another one we missed.

Woo-hoo! Congratulations Wride! Still another month left, but this is the best comeback in Death Pool history. And I still like the rest of your list, you may have a few more yet. Well done.

Sadly, Evel Kinievl was an American Hero.

That Gatorade Guy was at the top of my prospect list for this year dammit. Research shows that i'm now ahead of the commish by two corpses! I better start looking for more stiffs for next year... wouldn't want to follow up a championship with a loss - that'd be embarrassing.

Did anyone think about the inventor of Gatorade? Cuz he died.

jesus burky, calm down man...i was just messing around. no need to get all uptight and shit. somebody needs some cake or something...geez

Goddammit! All of my picks for next year are dying too early! First Robert Goulet and now Norman Mailer.

Dudik: It isn't about me, you don't need to even things up. Who cares if my score was ignored for like 2 months? I only care about the quality of the pool, which suffers when you snooze---whether it was an accident or some sort of twisted justice on your part. If you can't handle the responsibilities of being commissioner, pass them off to someone else.

calm down sir...like i said last night, i was just being fair to everyone else by giving them (almost) the same amount of non-update time as i did you. i will be on top of things from here on out, especially because it is getting close with only a little under 2 months left

Dudik, you really need to stay on top of shit because I didn't even realize we have a real game here with Wride only down by 2 points. Pretty damned exciting, because December is always a wild card. People always seem to die right around Christmas.

And don't count me out either. You never know when K-Fed drops that kid down the stairs.

page has been updated...

that old fucker needed to hold on for a few more months he was at the top of my list.

yeah, i just saw that...damn. who knew? (well, apparently he did...what, too soon?)

down goes goulet!!!!! down goes goulet!!!!!!!

damnit...now ive got 2 deaths to update. hopefully ill get it done this weekend

the dudik is struggling with the updates!!!!!

You know.. I was just checking on some of my roster.. and I'll be damned. Jane Tomlinson - 3 pointer - bit it on Sept. 3rd... Happy Birthday to me! Mark it dude... I'm gaining on you!

Edited by author 10-24-2007 08:01 AM
the all stars are finally on the board!!!!! too little too late but at least i didnt get shut out. joey bishop dead at age 89.

after over a month, i finally updated the page. sorry burky

As you think about next year's picks, don't forget certain folks with secondary fame. While Nancy Reagan is always a sought after pick, it turns out her husband's ex-wife and former actress Jane Weyman died today at 93.

I think I'm going to pick up Bob Hope's mistress and perhaps Frank Sinatra's favorite whore.

Edited by author 09-06-2007 08:29 AM
Well, I'm finally on the board. Pavrotti has died at the age of 71. He was my game breaker, so just like that I have 4 points. Given Dudik's dominance this year, I was actually hoping Luciano would hold on until January. But you take what you can get, at least I won't be shut out this year.

Watch out Dudik---you never know when I could string together a couple of deaths. If Britney drunk drives her kids into a brick wall, I'll only be one point behind.

ok, so far ive gotten some interesting feedback from several of you. i dont know for sure if we're going to bump up all they way to 16 teams...maybe keep it to 14 for 2008 (yes burky, this includes your 3 guys), then possibly increase it at 16 for '09. however, id like to cap the league at 16 teams, otherwise the draft is going to take forever. im also in favor of having it on a weekend...however, it still must be held between xmas and new years. that cant change.

heres what we're possibly looking like for next year:

all current teams, minus heather and sheri (8)
my friends mark, tabar, and mary clare
and burkys 3 people
thatll give us 14, and im quite happy with that for '08

however, we could still get more people involved with teams having an assistant or co-manager...this way they could split the entry fee and any winnings they might earn for the season.

im still looking for some more ideas for side awards...like ive said i have a few in mind, but im always looking for more ideas. im thinking, though, that the winner of the death pool should not be eligible for any side awards, as id like to see the money get more spread out to more of the teams. let me know what you think about that idea.

it also looks like well be bumping the fee up to $30, as everyone that has replied has said they have no problem paying the extra 5 bucks.

let me know what you guys think...

So who's picking Owen Wilson next year?

Edited by author 08-28-2007 10:59 PM
Wow, 16 teams that would be great...imagine all the deaths we'd hit then. More picks equals more correct picks which makes the whole thing funnier which is why I am in the pool. So I say go for it. I hope my 3 guys are already in your count...

With that many people, we really need to do the draft on a weekend though. A weekday will kill some of those who have to get up the next day.

I like it the way it is, but I'll throw this out there. 16 teams means we could do two divisions. The regular season could be January through September, then the top two teams could re-draft between themselves for a death-off the last three months. Complicated, crazy I know but just an idea.

$30 is cool with me. Maybe a halfway point prize to keep it interesting. Maybe some raw Bacon or trust falls in the bathroom.

check the main page...important info!

Edited by author 08-26-2007 03:17 AM
as much as im rooting for it, it seems that the rumors of castro's death may have been exaggerated (from wikipedia):

Premature rumors of Fidel Castro’s death are common in Miami, Florida, a city heavily influenced by Cuban exiles. Their frequency intensified after Castro's 81st birthday passed on August 13, 2007, with no word from him. On August 24, 2007, rumors began circulating heavily in Miami, about the possibility that Fidel Castro's death would be announced that day. Rumors were notably escalating with a meeting of local officials to go over their plans for when Castro dies and a road closure in the Florida Keys that was only due to a police standoff. Media outlets received high volumes of calls asking to verify if the rumors were true. None of the rumors have been confirmed. Cuban Foreign Minister Felipe Perez Roque responded by saying that Castro was still recovering from his surgery in 2006 and has been keeping busy. FOX News reported that the US State Dept believes the rumor to be false.

Miami police are poised to announce the death of Castro two weeks ago. No official word yet. Read the story:

http://www.comcast.net/news/index.jsp?cat=...tml&cvqh=itn_castro

I think $30 is fine, people would pay it. And if we can allow the three guys Matt & I know in (Steve Stanic, Kimmel & Damon) then we can really up the pool amount.

But be careful not to go crazy with side awards. They should be for really good stuff:

1.) youngest death
2.) most bizarre death (to be voted on by pool members, and doesn't have to be awarded every year; ot can accumulate)
3.) first death of the year, last death of the year
4.) If we end up having 10, 12, 14 people---finishing second or third is an accomplishment.
5.) perhaps a charitable contribution to a foundation remembering the person we most likely should have picked---so maybe like $30 to the drunken whore fund in memory of Anna Nicole

check the honorable mentions page...

I think the reason the big dead fart machine has so many people checking out is that in some point in their life they have met him and are now having flashbacks and ending it all. OR- they just got old and fucking died

ok folks, so i was thinking the other day (yeah, i know...god forbid), and i know its been discussed by several of us, but what id like to do starting next season is to add little side awards, where the winners of those awards would get a few bucks.

ive thought of a few...like most deaths, having the earliest/latest pick taken pass away, oldest/youngest person to die, having your gamebreaker pass away...stuff like that. also, some joke awards like least amount of points, best (or worst?) way a player died (this would have to be up to a vote, with each team presenting one player to be voted on), and other stuff like that.

obviously the joke awards wouldnt be worth as much compared to the 1st set of awards i mentioned, but it would still be something fun to do. also, in order to receive any side awards, you would have to either be there in person, on the phone, or had let me know well ahead of time that you would not make the draft party.

now heres the bad part: in order to do these prizes and not screw the team that wins the big pot, id like to increase the entrance fee...i was thinking of going up to $30, but it all depends on how much each award is going to be...it may have to go up even more if we're looking at making some of these awards worth some good cash.

think it over, give me some ideas, and we can discuss it further

And Date With Elvis pulls down a point for the second oldest, and second overall pick in the draft - Brooke Astor, who died today of Pneumonia at the ripe old age of 105.

Wride, dude, that totally sucks. My sympathies, that would have put you back in the race so Dudik couldn't run away with it. I thought somebody had him, I guess it was you last season.

Still, I feel like this was another boner for the league because somebody should have picked him. Keep up the good work, Wride.

This gameshow magnate created Jeopardy, was a selection for the Celebrity Coffin Jockeys last seasone, and expired today at the age of 82.

Who was Merv Griffin?

I'm guessing we don't get anything for team alumni passing on...

a hopeful congrats to uncle harrys marshmallow tree of death...pavrotti was a great pick, and i hope it works out for you. and as far as lohan goes, she may replace dakota fanning on my list next year (sorry negro...dudes gotta do what a dudes gotta do ;)...)

He guys...just wanted everyone to know that Luciano Pavrotti is in the hospital...he's a goner. Damn, though, even at 4 points I have quite a bit of work to do to catch the machine...also, Lindsey Lohan's body guard claims she tried to committ suicide...dunno if she'll go this year, but there's no way she makes it out of her 20's alive...

my bad...i thought someone had him, and i mustve just skipped by him in my jubilation for walsh biting it. ill make the changes...

i go on vacation for a week and the whole world goes crazy! Plus.. you missed my number 5 pick kicking the bucket. Overshadowed no doubt by mr. Walsh on 7-30. Michelangelo Antonini has shuffeled off his mortal coil as well.

I'm coming for you, Big Red Machine...

the champ is here!

tammy faye messner has passed away, giving the big dead machine 4 points, giving him a league leading 6 points overall...

Former First Lady, Lady Bird Johnson dropped dead today adding a point to Current First Place Holder, The Celebrity Coffin Jockeys... Booya Ka Sha... That is all.

I finally got one. I am on the move now. Look out everybody. LET THE BODIES HIT THE FLOOR!

2 people i didnt know were alive passed away this week: bob evans and Hank Medress (the singer on the song "the lion sleeps tonight") passed away. ill try to update the page as soon as i can.

ben wished tony parker dead?! awesome...i tell ya, thats a great superpower he has. i hope it happens soon.

I agree with Ben. The guy gets to bang Eva Longoria,he's French, and now he is doing Subway commercials Jarrod. Plus, if I have to her the announcers say "teardrop" one more freaking time when he shoots I am going to go ballistic.

We all missed another one. Tony Parker of the San Antonio Spurs. He's not dead yet, but last night Ben uttered the phrase "I wish Tony Parker would die" and we all know it's just a matter of time now. Poor guy... so young and in the prime of his life. Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Mr. Wizard is dead. I swear to God that guy has died three times already or maybe there have been 6 of them like James Bond. Anyway, we really missed this one, I thought somebody may have mentioned him before the draft, but I am not sure. We really should have been on top of this one.

ok, so ive got a question. for those of you who watch the wwe, last night vince mcmahon was blown up in a "car bombing" and is now presumed dead. if one of us were to pick him, would we have gotten any points? i mean, it should be worth something...its not all that often people "die" in the wwe (except for the undertaker, but he doesnt count in this discussion). of course, id think that if he "miraculously" came back to life, those points would have to be taken back...

Hey Matt how are you doing? Will someone die on my vacation this year? Follow my vacation daily on www.myspace.com/vacationtalk

for those of you who didnt see it, weve got another one...

bad news for date with elvis, as i heard today on ESPN (while watching the yankeees/twins game) that bobby mercer's cancer is completely gone after treatment, and will be given some sort of vaccine as a continuation of the treatment. i didnt see anything on wikipedia or anywhere else about it, but when i do ill post it on the breaking news page.

i wanted to post this as an FYI, and no, none of these people can count towards our death pool (this is from the BBC News website)...


There has been a small outbreak of “zombism” in a small town near the border of Laos in North-Eastern Cambodia.

The culprit was discovered to be mosquitoes native to that region carrying a new strain of Malaria which thus far has a 100 percent mortality rate and kills victims in fewer than 2 days.

After death, this parasite is able to restart the heart of its victim for up to two hours after the initial demise of the person where the individual behaves in extremely violent ways from what is believed to be a combination of brain damage and a chemical released into blood during “resurrection.”

Cambodian officials say that the outbreak has been contained and the public has no need to worry.

General Ary Serey had this to say, "We have obtained samples of this new parasite and plan to learn how it starts the heart and other major organs of the deceased. We intend to use this to increase the quality of life for all."

US Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice opposed the plan saying that the Cambodian government holds a great biological weapon and should destroy it immediately. Cambodian officials have yet to comment.

A United Nations team will be dispatched to Cambodia to confirm the safety of biological research in Cambodia.

look Andy I visited the site...I still have no freaking clue whats going on but I was here !!!

Not a good year to be a pro wrestler from our youth. First Bam Bam... and just a few days ago, one time Bronze Medal Olympian in Heavyweight Judo, Allen "Bad News Brown" Coage, dead at 67. He was the heel in the first match I ever saw live. Matter of fact, he lost that fight too... but it was against some dude in American Flag tights named Mark Adams or something instead of chest pains and a likely heart attack.

damnit!

Damn you Byzantine Jihad and your two deaths! A man who brought us more wine than Baccus himself will wine no more. Oh the heels of his estranged little brother Joe who crushed his last grape a few weeks ago, Ernest Gallo, dead at 97, just 12 days short of his 98th birthday.

VP Cheney has a blood clot in his leg.

http://www.comcast.net/news/index.jsp?cat=...tml&cvqh=itn_cheney

The original Bozo is in fact dead (since 1967, Pinto Colvig - also the voice of Goofey), but the original Ronald McDonald is actually Today Show Weatherman Emaritus Willard Scott, alive and kicking, pushing age 73.

They say deaths come in threes...which means we're bound for a third dead clown soon. I think Bobo is already dead...how about Ronald McDonald?

Well scored.

i hate the french...

Mark it, Dude... Maurice Papon, 96. I have nothing witty to say about this guy. He's just dead... and i get a point for it. sweet.

Okay guys, I gotta agree with Wride on this one, someone in Britney Spears family---either her,Sean Preston, Jayden or any combination of the above---is not making it to 2008. Normally I wouldn't bother updating Britney's daily meltdowns, but this absolutely takes the cake:

http://perezhilton.com/topics/britney_spears/

also... i'm calling Britney Spears as the middle ground between Lohan and the overlooked Anna Nicole... she'll be lucky to make it through the year with her post-divorce party lifestyle... especally when k-fed takes her kids and half her money. last weekend she stripped down to her skivvies and was grinding on some female dancers in a NYC club and then was carried out unconscious at the end of the night. ah.. train wrecks.. i just can't look away...

not just a bad week for the worm food all stars, more bad news for matt too-
"HAVANA (Reuters) - A senior Cuban official said on Tuesday that Fidel Castro is recovering "very well" but gave no indication when, or if, Cuba's ailing leader might return to public life.

"He is recovering, doing very well and keeping abreast of everything," National Assembly president Ricardo Alarcon said, adding to other recent statements that Castro is on the mend."

its been a rough week for the worm food allstars!!!!

check the breaking news site. it aint exactly breaking news, but its still news that no ones mentioned on here...

I CANT BELIEVE I DRAFTED THE NEWLY SOBER LOHAN OVER ANNA NICOLE!!!!!

alright folks, after finally reading more about this and getting everything squared away updating the site, i can talk about this a bit more. after receiving calls from 7 different people within the first 10 minutes of this news breaking (even from the head of The Meat Puppets), its good to see that not only the teams involved are keeping their ears open for recent deaths, but so are alot of outside people as well. that makes me feel kinda good as we now have a kind of fan-base that will hopefully continue to grow and support our efforts.

however, i am sorely disappointed in each and every one of us for missing this pick, myself included, as i thought we were better at this than we apparently are. she was one of the major train-wrecks of the past 10 years, and although it looked like she had gotten her shit together she still would have made a great pick, and one hell of a gamebreaker because deep down i think we all knew that crazy lady couldnt keep her stuff together for too long. so, to paraphrase a quote from billy madison..."i am now dumber for seeing that no one picked her. i award no points, and may god have mercy on all of your souls."

Anna Nicole Smith DEAD. Can you believe that? Somebody with such a wholesome lifestyle.
They say death travels in three's, Can Britney and Paris be close behind?

Edited by author 02-08-2007 04:00 PM
breaking news! check the honorable mentions page...its a biggie

farrah faucett was just given a clean bill of health. im gonna give that cancer free bitch a donkey punch.

well, since you picked the infant spears/federline, i will change that for you. good to see you finally up on the messageboard.

Hey guys, I've had limited internet access for some time, so I haven't had a chance to post yet. I don't have anything funny to say really, but wanted to say Kudos, it looks like you're all really involved in death this year.

BTW, I'm a big Stern fan, and you should all know that Artie Lange is probably back on the smack and is spending the weekend in Vegas doing 2 standup shows and watching the Super Bowl. A decent chance this weekend could be a big problem for him.

Also, Andy, technically Brittney Spears' baby's name is Sean Preston Federline. Perhpas worth correcting as that infant may intentionally choke on a Lego when he realizes what a douchebag his father is.

Lastly, Dakota Fanning is causing commotion in a new movie in which she acts out a rape scene as a 12 year old. This sort of thing can only lead to a more troubling life.

Yeah.. you're all right. He was a shitty pick.

From IMDB.com
"O'Toole May Skip Oscar Ceremony
 Veteran star Peter O'Toole may not attend the Oscar ceremony in Los Angeles next month, because of his fragile health. The Lawrence of Arabia actor received his eighth Academy Award nomination on Tuesday for his role in Venus. The 74-year-old star said upon hearing of his latest nomination he felt "astonished and delighted." O'Toole hasn't decided if he will attend the Oscar ceremony, saying the realist in him isn't sure if he is up to it, "But the romantic in me wants to go with my children and have a ball." The Irish star received an honorary Academy Award in 2003 for lifetime achievement."