Nip/Tuck Fanatic
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11-07-2007 07:41 PM ET (US)
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Nip/Tuck Season 5, Episode 2 Quotes:
Fiona: "what are you? Leg man, ass man, tit man?" Christian: "Tit Man, why?" Fiona: "(while undressing) Mommy issues..."
Christian: "(with Sean operating on Kate) She seems very special, you just add a mast and a good wind and you can sail her around the planet."
Christian: "Careful where you poke down there, I'm going to need that for later (while getting tux adjusted and referring to his date with Kate)."
Liz: "A woman almost died under your watch today you deal with it by fighting over a Yoplait" Christian: "Gimme the Yoplait..."
Liz: "They never listen to me anyway. I'm just white noise in a lab coat."
Christian: "(To Ollie regarding her kid) What about daddy, you pull him out of the drawer on Thanksgiving to baste the turkey?"
Christian: "After all these years, Julia was the reason for the biggest dick contest and now we find out she doesnt even like them. Julia is a dyke."
Sean: "She's the mother of our children" Sean: "Too bad she didnt figure it out in college. I spent a lot of years barking up the wrong tree."
Sean: "I must be such a lousy lay that my wife went from dwarf humping to carpet munching"
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| Nip/Tuck Fanatic
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4
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12-01-2006 05:09 PM ET (US)
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Christian:[To Sean]- "Thats a really nice suit, Gucci? Its tight." ---------------------------------------------------- Christian: "Oh, come on Lizzy! Even lesbians enjoy a little levity at Christmas!" ---------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Poppy and Liz]- "What is this the dynamic dyke duo?" ---------------------------------------------------- Christian:[In arguement with Kimber]- "Oh that's bullshit, and you know it. What we had was spiritual, Kimber. I made you see God everytime you came."
Kimber: ?"You made me see garbage, Christian. I was nothing to you, I was a fixer upper, that you could throw a coat of paint on."
Christian: "You are such a freaking hypocrite. You were the one who seduced me when you realized I was a plastic surgeon who could get you everything you wanted. You were never anything more then an ambitious piece of ass."
Kimber: "You need to go, you need to go right now! How much more pain do you need to cause me before you think Ive had enough?!"
Christian: "Look whatever I did, whatever we did to each other, I-I loved you."
Kimber: "You loved your creation, you never loved me because you never saw who I really was. I was just something made up in your head."
Christian: "Well I see you now Kimber, and you know what?! Youre dangerous, because youre weak. You cant survive without someone, or something to suck off. A new lover, a new religion. And if you, start feeding on my son, I swear, there is not one place on earth that will keep you safe from me.....You can bill me for the door. ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: "Goodbye ladies, its been swell." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Sean]- "You're such a goddamn moralist. We lie, Sean. We keep secrets in order to protect the people that we love. Friends, family, even strangers. Shit. If Anne Frank was hiding in your attic, she wouldn't have gotten past the words 'Dear Diary'... I'm putting pussy lips back on the schedule!" ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Michelle]- "I suck. I suck as a friend. I suck as a lover. I suck as a fiance. I'm tired of defending myself." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Michelle]- "God gave me a dick, and I intend to glorify him by playing that organ as intensely and often as possible" ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Sean, about the "gay" crisis]- "Have I been doing something lately? Walking weird or something? Is it my eyebrows? Because I tell ya if I dont wax, then I get this whole unibrow thing and it just, it looks ugly. But just because I groom, doesnt mean Ive gone broke back!" ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Sean]- "I think I work better on women I've screwed. Once you've seen a woman's cumface, you've seen her soul." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Sean]- "I get confused and its really hard for me to express myself…that sounded really gay, didnt it?" ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: "Even a squashed spider spins its web before his last breath." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: "Fourteen hours in this place without a cup of coffee even Ghandi would become a narcoleptic." ----------------------------------------------------- Julia: "I'm a terrible person."
Christian: "Your not a terrible person.I just think you make bad understandable choices,you have a history of that." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To James]- "I want her dazzling enough to give my dick Amnesia." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: "I always wear a condom when I'm performing a slipindictomy." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: "You and I both know you spent hours deliberating which dress in your closet best displayed that world class cleavage of yours. Since you love being a business woman so much michelle, let me give you the bottom line---You either get real with me and give in to what we're both feeling, or sell me my business back. Although my nurses might enjoy it, I don't like doing surgery with a hard on." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Gina]- "There will be no suckage of any kind ... So milk 'em yourself, Heidi." ---------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Wilbur, the Goodbye]- "Never give a girl your number, always take hers. Keeps you in control. No American cars. German, Italian or the occasional English. Treat yourself to a barber shop shave once a month. Take a beautiful girl to Florence, eat at the Enoteca. Talk to Marino, he'll take care of you. Tell him you're my son. Don't take any crap from anyone, you're better than that. But.. try to be good to people. Never get too jaded to care. Remember me." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Michelle]- "Shit Happens. Unexcpeted Shit. You have to learn to roll with it." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: "Throw a stone down South Beach and you would hit some model I did not call back." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Sean]- "Look, Sean, you may be the expert on complex microsurgery, but I'm a goddamn genius when it comes to pussy. If I build it, she will come." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Sean]- "The line that divides the porn industry and the plastic surgery is a thin one. We're both selling fantasy, aren't we?" ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: "I'm a wildly successful plastic surgeon and I have a 33-inch waist. I'm a superhero, so now I'm going to put my cape back on and get back out there." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Kimber]- "Heres the deal. You think a jockey wants to come home to see his girlfriend dressed like a horse? Im around nurses all day, sweetheart. If I wanted to screw one of them, I wouldve by now." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: "I laughed, I cried, I came." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Natasha]- "Look it's men. We're just wired that way, even if some small part of our brain actually gives a damn about your soul, it's always short-circuited by the part that wants to get into your pants." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Gina]- "You're like herpes. Every time I feel like I'm getting my life back, I have a Gina outbreak." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: "Sweetheart, you're never going to look like angelina, and you're never going to sleep with brad." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian:[To Ava]- "The ditch was dug pretty deep, sweetheart. Just not deep enough for me." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: "Ever notice how monogamy rhymes with monotony?" ----------------------------------------------------- James: "That car is worth more than a hundred thousand dollars!"
Christian: "A woman who won the lottery paid me four times that much to ride my dick which means sweetheart you owe three hundred thousand dollars." ----------------------------------------------------- Christian: Youre officially a whore now
Kimber: Wrong, Im a business woman. ----------------------------------------------------- Sean: I got laid real good. By Kimber
Christian: How much did you pay her? -----------------------------------------------------
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