Would love to see more & see the 2 groups work togeather to bring peace to the world

Hello? I love your story, mate!

Congrats on school, and hopefully the bf. ^^
Good to hear things are going well.

Yippee, yippe hooray!&#A0; (ahem).&#A0; Well it's good to hear from you, and congratulations on graduating law school.�A;My sincere best wishes on the other stuff, too (ba examr, boyfriend, and all that).&#A0; And we will be very glad when we get to see another chapter.�A;�A;�A;�A;�A;________________________________�A;From: QuickTopic daily digest <qtopic-37-ByAugWjE5Aa@quicktopic.com>�A;To: davebongard@prodigy.net�A;Sent: Tuesday, May 12, 2009 12:14:47 AM�A;Subject: Symbiota Sapiens�A;�A;--QT-------------------------------------------------------------�A;&#A0; &#A0; &#A0; Messages for the topic "Symbiota Sapiens" for 05-11-2009.�A;&#A0; &#A0; &#A0; Reply by email or visit�A;&#A0; &#A0; &#A0; http://www.quicktopic.com/37/H/ByAugWjE5Aa�A;&#A0; &#A0; &#A0; �A;--------------------------------------------------------------- -�A;�A;From: Dean&#A0; Time: 10:58 AM�A;Friends, I have finished law school, so I hope to start writing�A;again soon. I still have to study for the bar, find a job (and�A;start working), and I'm gearing up to pop the question to my�A;boyfriend, so I won't be able to crank out the chapters like I�A;did when I was a single undergrad.�A;�A;Also, I'll be splitting my writing time between this sequel and�A;a sequel to my Harry Potter fanfic "Escribamens", which can be�A;found on HPFandom.net�A;�A;Talk to you soon.�A;------------------------------------------------------------�A;_________________________________________________________________�A;To unsubscribe: http://www.quicktopic.com/37/X/ByAugWjE5Aa�A;Start your own topic in 20 seconds: http://www.quicktopic.com |QT�A;

Friends, I have finished law school, so I hope to start writing again soon. I still have to study for the bar, find a job (and start working), and I'm gearing up to pop the question to my boyfriend, so I won't be able to crank out the chapters like I did when I was a single undergrad.

Also, I'll be splitting my writing time between this sequel and a sequel to my Harry Potter fanfic "Escribamens", which can be found on HPFandom.net

Talk to you soon.

About the best story I've come across on Nifty (well, the best story I've come across on that site when searching for reading material). A bit of a shame that you've been so busy; I really would've liked reading further on Dark Legacy.

Dean! We miss you. ; ;

Loved Symbiota Sapiens, expressing how much so would require too many "really"s. But I think you get the idea.

What can I say, I've been out of the loop for quite a while, myself. (Not for so grandiose a reason as our Favored Author, to be sure, but nonetheless...)

I got chapter (9, I think) posted a couple nights ago, and will be back on a once-weekly. But when it comes to the real story behind the Guardians and so on... we need our Dean back for that <3

Hey Mychyl,�A;&#A0;&#A0;&#A0; I was (happily) surprised to see a message in this subject, which has been (sniff) quiet for an awfully long time.&#A0; I had figured that Dean may have been swamped by law school.&#A0; It tends to do that, or so I understand.&#A0; Anyway, maybe we can tease-prod-plead-beg-(verb of your choice) Dean into starting things up again.�A;&#A0;&#A0;&#A0;&#A0; And for gods' sake, don't give up on LCoA!&#A0; It's the only place I can get my fix, since DL has gone on hiatus.�A;�A;�A;�A;�A;________________________________�A;From: QuickTopic daily digest <qtopic-37-ByAugWjE5Aa@quicktopic.com>�A;To: davebongard@prodigy.net�A;Sent: Thursday, January 29, 2009 12:18:17 AM�A;Subject: Symbiota Sapiens�A;�A;--QT-------------------------------------------------------------�A;&#A0; &#A0; &#A0; Messages for the topic "Symbiota Sapiens" for 01-28-2009.�A;&#A0; &#A0; &#A0; Reply by email or visit�A;&#A0; &#A0; &#A0; http://www.quicktopic.com/37/H/ByAugWjE5Aa�A;&#A0; &#A0; &#A0; �A;--------------------------------------------------------------- -�A;�A;From: Mychyl&#A0; Time: 03:55 AM�A;I think I'm about to be sad.�A;�A;Is this really it, Dean? Have we lost you? It looks like it's�A;been a year since DL Chapter 5, and just as I'm about to get the�A;gearing turning again on LCoA, I was hoping you were still�A;burning the midnight oil on SSDL.�A;�A;Let us know what's up, ne? ^^;;�A;------------------------------------------------------------�A;_________________________________________________________________�A;To unsubscribe: http://www.quicktopic.com/37/X/ByAugWjE5Aa�A;Start your own topic in 20 seconds: http://www.quicktopic.com |QT�A;

I think I'm about to be sad.

Is this really it, Dean? Have we lost you? It looks like it's been a year since DL Chapter 5, and just as I'm about to get the gearing turning again on LCoA, I was hoping you were still burning the midnight oil on SSDL.

Let us know what's up, ne? ^^;;

One of the best stories on nifty. This is the 2nd time I'm reading Symbiota and the first time for the Dark chapters. All the best to you.

Edited by author 07-21-2008 02:38 AM
Alright, are these guys based in Atlanta? I only ask because I am from Atlanta and I was trying to get an idea where some of these setting were.

Nice story. Keep it up man.

So any news on the story? Were you able to find someone to help out?

Just thought to drop a line, hoping that your classes are going well. ^^

now caught up and also asked a couple of writer friends to read ur story.

i think this is very heart felt story, you have good writing skills and I'm impressed but u miss out on typos, I'm dyslexic so i pick up on that, typos on here i don't worry about.

your story touched my heart and i will probably re read it as i prefer fantasy/sci-fi

u may get a note from Papa Mike (Miguel Sanchez) he is a prolific author on nifty so u can look @ his writing style he may not help but im sure he knows some1 that can

sorry bout several messages but when i like a story i like to try to make comments of praise and ur story has me hooked and also explain where i have got to and help out with my comments to try to explain also if i like a story it goes 1st through my brain then to my heart n soul then to comments or a reply to author/reply room most r on yahoo so this 1 is new to me lol

please continue and i hope u find a good co-writer

luv n best wishes AlexF

chapter 15 pretty much shows that jerremy has those feelings not of quite homophobia but of incest and in dark chapter 5 it shows he is thinking in his baser instincts or fooling his mind to think so that it is a woman he is fkn and lost control

i have read the dark chapters to start and liked them but have now started from the beginning things make more sense now and i feel really concerned for Jerremy in chapter 15 I know from reading the dark chapters he still hasnt really got to grips even then but im still reading this story so i hope he can get to grips with the fact that nobody is truly really fully str8 or fully gay cant remember the name of the scale from 1-100 str8 @ 1 gay @ 100 will re look it up but still feel a lot of concern but undrstanding also but from the other side of the fence im gay but do think about females dont think i could ever have sex with 1 but occasionally i have thought about it

Edited by author 01-05-2008 07:53 PM
Hmm...I don't think that's really what Julian was talking about. In Jeremey's case, it's not the fact he won't bottom, but the fact that he's afraid of it...and has sort of homophobic "feelings" about it, to the extent that he feels guilty for topping Julian at all, that is unhealthy.

It goes back to the whole struggle Jeremey went through admitting his sexual attraction to Julian. Remember, aside from Julian, Jeremey is basically straight, and that caused him a lot of confusion, which manifested in things like the weird dreams Julian referred to.

So...I guess the point is, "not being versatile" isn't unhealthy...but not being versatile for the reason of being stuck in a hetero mindset, etc., is.

Woo ^^ Discussions went on. ^^

It kind of disappoints me about the whole females not having the whole Caretakers thing, but some of these ideas are interesting. Blood play/vampirism? Tentacles? <3 Both have... Interesting possibilities...

And what about Immortal lesbians? (if they exist) Does that mean that if they sleep with the womens, they don't extend their lives? (Blood still possible?)

Within the new chapter, I kind of disagree with something Julian said.

"I also think it's not healthy. For you, or for either of us. This weird heterosexual mindset you
have going on, in the middle of a gay relationship."

Personally, the idea of topping someone turns me off; it does absolutely nothing for me. Yes, I agree that gender roles are kind of unhealthy, but sometimes people can't help but be who they are. I've got versatile friends, bottom friends, (and only one top friend, pfft, so rare!) so does that mean that being not versatile is unhealthy? T_T

WOW! Seems the natives HAVE been restless, lol. Thanks for the well wishing, I am now done with exams...and free to tackle this little problem.

Okay...yes, the Caretakers ARE pretty much a "male game", as you guys put it. Let me explain why.

I think one phrase that stuck out at me was a description of the Caretakers as being a sort of blessing in return for having intercourse with a Guardian.

But intercourse, or for that matter relationships, are NOT the point of the Caretakers. That's what the Guardian-Chosen selection is for. The Caretakers are specifically for the purposes of BREEDING (with mortals). Remember, the Esseren modify their host at the atomic level...making them genetically perfect, and the idea is that the (male) Guardians will often have sex with mortal females, for the purpose of (over many generations) improving the overall genetic makeup of the general population. The Caretakers are part of a eugenics project stretching across millenia.

The caretakers are concentrated in the semen to 1) protect the fetus and ensure optimal, or better-than-normal prenatal development so they grow strong and attractive and therefore are likely to have sex themselves when they grow up, and 2) increasing the lifespan of the recipient-female, both to help her raise the child and also as a sort of recompense for carrying a child for 9 months, outside of the support of the traditional relationship, since Guardians have only their Chosen as long-term companions.

Obviously, there's no reason for an equivalent system for female Guardian's to benefit their male sexual partners, because a female would carry any such child herself while the mortal male would go on his merry way afterwards.

Having sex with the same mortal female for centuries, as Damion did with Elizabeth, was NOT what the intended use, and is a very unorthodox, if rather romantic, relationship for an immortal.

I'll also point out that Elizabeth can't make Damion her Chosen. She IS a Chosen (by Rom). Each GUARDIAN can make a Chosen. Damion himself was also a Chosen, which is why he couldn't make Elizabeth his Chosen.




Anyways...hope that helps clear the air a bit. I did manage to write an additional chapter, which I posted today, it should show up sometime around midnight probably. They're coming out a LOT slower than they did before second-year-lawschool started, which is why, as I explain at the bottom of Chapter 5, I am looking for a co-author.

Hey Madnoi and everybody,
  I think Madboi and I are pretty much on the same page here. Without getting into detailed biology about how HIV gets transmitted, there clearly IS an analogy between Caretakers and the virus. I EXPECT the caretaqkers are bigger, though. And it DOES llok like Caretaker delivery is a male sport... until (and unless) Dean give us more information.
  And Dean -- before you answer ANY of this stuff, I want to wish you very good fortune and the best of luck on your exams. We'll be patient (pretty much <g>) until you're out from under exam season.

Dean!!!! I think the natives are getting restless . . . but please do well on your tests first!!!

Dave, I take responsibilty for this can of worms. I just don't see how Damion is going to switch sides (morality, not sexuality) that easily. He's been humbled, sure, but nothing i have read about his character makes me think he would let that stop him. I mean, his lover is a Chosen. He still has an unending source of Caretakers.

YES! Somebody got my question! IS this a male only game (with reference to the Caretakers)??? The simple answer is: it seems so. However, the only person who can truly answer that is Dean. *sad face*

I ask because it seems to me that, if the technology were encoded for both genders, then there would be instructions to deal with the "deffiency" in producing Caretakers that a female Guardian would face. However, I would pose this idea: wouldn't it be easier to encode the Caretakers to be present in the pre-semeninal fluid? This is the fluid that is similar to both genders and is produced regardless of who's doing what to whom. Then you simply have to wonder about how the vaginal-based Caretakers would enter the mortal.

**NOTE**
For this explanation, I will have to relate the Caretaker nanobots to the HIV virus (or any other STI-causing bug). During standard vaginal intercourse, with HIV organisms present in the female and not in the male, there is a chance HE (be a generalized male) can contract from HER (being a generalized female). As we understand the flow of fluids, SHE would stand a higher risk of contracting from HIM - and the converse is true as well, but not in the same percentage. SHE can give the virus to HIM, providing he is not wearing a condom, by means of the absorbant tissues found in the phallic member. The same tissues that allow for engorgment also allow for absorbtion of some "travelers".

Given the above situation, where it is Caretakers (not HIV), wouldn't the nanobots aim for the penis? This would increase the amount he recieves and still follows in the line of thinking set by Dean about the Caretakers, being that a sexual partner of a Guardian is "blessed" for having taken part in the intercourse.

That's not to say that enough sex would cause caretaker self-suffiency . . . the idea being that they are no longer in the body they are meant to take care of - they provide some health benefits to the sexual partner, and then die.

Oh, one more bit (brief, I promise).
  The Caretaker-inserting' tentacles were/are not only used for injecting Caretakers. They are vicious and deadly weapons, and I'd wager a fair amount that Damion's AI has been edited or redacted to prevent him from doing some things, at least for now. Consdiering his history, I strongly dpoubt anybody would risk him having full access to the knowledge of how to construct and use those tentacles. It's damn freaking dangerous.

Uh-oh. I seem to've opened a notable can of worms on this one.... and I'm gonna stick my neck out a little further, just to add to it <g>.
  My undewrstanding of the presence of Caretakers in both Immortals and Chosen is that they exist MAINLY (but by no means exclusively) in the bloodstream, and in certain organs -- notably the brain, but also the reproductive organs. Since sex ofr reproduction requires that [male] semen enter a feamle body, semen has to contain a sufficient concentration of Caretakers that, over repeated, ah, events, enough Caretakers can be delivered to set up a self-sustaining system in the recipient.
  The issue here SEEMS to be whether this is only a male game. And to me, based on biuology, the answeer is YES. Potentially, males get to spread their genetic material across a great many femalss. A given female may have children from many males, but among humans (and I wasn't being human-specific earlier in this paragraph) single life-partners (or spouses) is the usual pattern -- largely because of social considerations.
  As for Elizabeth and Damion, I THINK it is possible for Elizabeth to make Damion a Chosen... if she wants to, and if both of them stay with it long enough (probably a given -- Elizabeth really loves him -- no aqccounting for taste <g>). It just won't happen quickly. And Amion's gonna have to get good at, and develop a real 'taste' (sorry) for cunnilingus.
  I suppose they could just exhcnage blood... but getting into vampirism is either kinky, or a whole 'nother genre.

I don't see why the presence of reproductive cells should matter. The Caretakers aren't about reproduction. For someone who is expected to have sex as often as the Guardians, it should be obvious that even sex is not primarily about reproduction. The immortals would be getting hundreds of children each year, had that been the case. The sex is more about bonding between two individuals, and that's where the Caretakers make sense. The argument for Caretakers holds just as much if the immortal is female, so they should also have a roughly equivalent mechanism for giving Caretakers to a mortal. Oral-vaginal sex does seem reasonable. One might even imagine some other organ to insert Caretakers, something along the lines of Damion's tentacles.

Besides, Damion's AI survived. It should still remember how to construct Caretaker-inserting tentacles. Surely it would transmit this information to Elisabeth, if there indeed is no equivalent way for a woman to give her partner a reasonable amount of Caretakers.

OK, madboi -- I'm gonna go out on a limb here, since I can't remotely claim to be a biologist.
  My understanding is that vaginal fluid does not contain reproductive cells. Therefore, any presence of Caretakers would be at a far lower level, roughly similar to that in saliva. I would expect that pre-seminal fluid has, broadly speaking, the same characreristics as vaginal fluid (golly, isn't sex literally juicy?). So I don't THINK Dean was being sexist, per se. And I also don't expect that Damion can get the "full effect" from Elizabeth... but maybe that's gonna get resolved later.

I get from your description of the Caretakers that the designers were very sexist - something of your design.
Is that to say there are little to no Caretakers in vaginal fluid? If your answer is no and there is the same amount as semen, but just not as accessible through vaginal intercourse (due to the wrong direction of fluid-flow), then the best answer to Damion's predicament is to perform oral-vaginal sex on Elizabeth. If your answer is yes and there is not the same amount . . . I *hope* Rom is not dumb enough to engage in any threesomes with Damion and Elizabeth.

Good luck with your exams! I await the next chapter with bated breath.

Edited by author 12-03-2007 03:17 PM
Hmm, yes Damien is still quite manipulative. As is Rom. And any of the Immortals, really, especially the older ones. The long-term outlook is, I think, just another way of saying "maturity".

You should remember that the 1/15 aging is due to the influx of Caretakers from having sex with an immortal. But...remember it's the exchange of body fluids that transmits the Caretakers...primarily through semen. There's some in saliva but not near as concentrated. Soo...I'm not sure Damion is going to have quite the level of benefit from Elizabeth as she had been getting from him...the important fluids are traveling in the wrong direction, lol. Soo...it's in Damion's interests to find a male immortal to be a "donor", etc. The obvious candidate is Rom...who of course is now Damion's rival for the affections of Elizabeth, and is sort of waiting for Damion to die of old age...tricky situation...

I'm almost done with the next chapter guys. Didn't quite finish it - I could post it now as a slightly short chapter because it is at a potential stopping point. But I try to have the chapters at least a certain size. Bad news is, I am now officially in exam season, so you might have to wait till Christmas to get an update.

Actually, I rather thought Damion would be a cold manipulating *******. He has been a Fallen Guardian long enough to verbally admit when he has been beaten, but that just makes him all the more desirous of the next attempt. Even mortal, I'm sure he is still thinking like he was, in long term amounts of time, which is a crux for him now.
(((((I don't think Elizabeth will be strong against him. In the very least, she'll extend his life thru so much sex. Considering the rate of growth she exhibited when the situation was switched, a rate of about 1 year biological to every 15 years chronological if i remember correctly, Damion's "natural" lifespan will still be greatly extended.))))

I'm quite curious about how the boys will be able to interact with the gov't group.

hey guys, sorry i've been AWOL for a while. Second year of lawschool is...er..."hectic".

Madboi: hmm, interesting, but actually I didn't plan on Damion being homophobic...per se. Yes he still has some unresolved issues with the boys but his personality type makes him more of a cold manipulator than the angry type you're suggesting.

Also, although Damion is a young Guardian, he has been in that kind of "anything goes as long as it's love" environment for quite some time. And some of that time was with the Fallen, who make the Guardians look conservative. Increased exposure desensitizes.

The first scene of the next chapter gives a hint of what the main "private" conflict is going to be, and Damion will play a part in it but not precisely as an antagonist. And also, yes the boys will eventually be exposed to homophobia...but not among the Guardians.

I'm about halfway through the next chapter guys, hopefully finish it during this nice Thanksgiving break. And then I'm hoping to write some more chapters during Christmas break.

I hope Dean is okay. ; ;

Hey!
It's been awfully quiet here lately, what's going on?

I really think Damion is going to be homophobic. Considering the time and place he comes from, despite having been an Attachment, i think he hates Jermey and Julian on many levels. He's not open about it because he knows they could kill him without much thought. I'd like to see him change his line of thinking, but I sincerely doubt it. To quote Rom: "Humans haven't changed as much over the years as they think they have." And considering that Damion is still fairly young, compared to the rest of the Guardians, he's much more likely to still hold onto prejudices, even more since he no longer has the same status as the others. Personally, I think it would weaken the plot and Damion's character development if he wasn't homophobic, or at least still resented the brothers. Don't get me wrong, I'm all about redemption and all that, but people don't change that quickly.

Hope things going well. ^^

I can't wait to see how the two manage to keep from having the whole immortal society from wanting to wring their necks.

Okay...I was exaggerating about the glass. but they can calculate velocity, the friction of the tires, the trajectories of all the vehicles involved, and the strength of the limo's frame and how it will crumple as it absorbs the impact on the drivers side, etc. Stuntmen and special effects experts set up collisions with reasonably precise results all the time, without the benefit of all that computing power.

This collision was really just a much more lethal application of the same technique Jeremey used at the airport, when he collided the van with the baggage cart so the motor would be damaged in a certain way.

Calculating the physics of the accident "down to the last bit of flying glass"? No, I don't think so. That problem wouldn't be stable. It would be extremely sensitive to small changes in the initial conditions. I don't think the autonoids have sensors anywhere near sensitive enough to provide the information and accuracy needed to accomplish such a feat. I doubt even the Guardians would be able to.

They might be able to calculate the actions that give Danny the best chances, but they wouldn't be able to predict exactly what would be happening to him. Had they had some bad luck, they might well have killed him.

The autonoid collective operates on a twisted combination of extreme socialist and extreme utilitarian philosophies. So giving Roberto some major psychological baggage, and landing Danny in the hospital for a year, in exchange for one out of nine Supreme Court Justices in the pocket is an easily calculated "net gain" for all the 300,000 or so autonoids out there.

Oh, and as for the risk to Danny...remember the collective has a massive amount of computing power between them...I think they calculated the physics of that accident down to the last bit of flying glass.

Whoa...metaphysical fag hag? That sounds like a song title or something. No, she'll be entering the picture soon now but there's no weird connection or anything - just the plain old consequences/benefits that come from having come into contact with two guys who are up to their eyeballs in intrigue...aside from the Digital Prophecies, I'm keeping this series very "un-mystical".

Ehm... I've changed my mind. I don't think I want to be an autonoid anymore. Using Roberto like that was evil, and I'm rather surprised that they did what they did to Danny. He could have died, and I didn't think they would do that to one of their own. Either it must be really, really important for them to control the Supreme Court, or they are very confident that they would be able to replace any autonoid that dies - that they can handle the implants and redeploy them.

Anyway, with the Taskforce involved like this... Things could get interesting :-)

*shudders* That beginning part made me shudder with pain. It creeped me out a lot and made me want to blast autonoid bits into oblivion.

Yeah, I really want to see the girl that donated blood to Julian. Since he has some of her blood in him, she could be connected in somehow. Blood, vampires... Yum...

She could be a metaphysical fag hag! When autonoids attack, she comes in with magical fag hag powers seducing the autonoids into submission! I don't know, something terribly outrageous and zany fits my perception. Perhaps helping them control themselves?

And I really think the boys are missing some aspect of the problem. They need a female though processor in the mix.

Chapter 4 of Dark Legacy is now up. There's a rather disturbing part at the beginning, I've tried my best to handle it tastefully.

Just finsihed your story and am craving more!!! wonderful job and i look forward to your future work....thanks for the time.

Hey sorry I haven't updated in a while. Been doing a bit of traveling this summer.

I've got chapter three just about ready to go, and I'm back to school the start of september (hopefully that will mean writing will be back as a part of my routine, as opposed to meaning I'm too busy with school).

Hello! i just spend my entire day reading this story! i loved every part of it. Kudos to you! I was just wondering if there was a time frame on the next part?

PD!

Just read your Symbiota Sapiens story. Started Thursday before bed and finished it this afternoon. What a ride!
 
Very yummy fantasy stuff.

The funnest gay romance I've ever read.

I read the first few paragraphs of Dark Legacy and I'm glad you decided to switch the narrative to Julian in the first person. It'll open up some intersting fresh new stuff.

I have some ideas/comments I'll email you once I transcribe tehm onto keyboard, but I want to give kudos for creating such a fun, rich and somehwat original world of myth and adventure. Gay culture needs this like much needed oxygen.

It sinks in through the sexual and spiritual pores.

Keep it pouring &, uh, coming ;-P

<SLURP, sigh...>

Wow Tangent...all in one night? Damn I'm good, [evil laughter]...

But seriously thanks for the thoughts. Although...Queen of the Damned? Seriously? Is the book different from the movie? I avoided the book (though I love the rest of the Vampire Chronicles) because I absolutely HATED the movie...I'll have to go back and check on that to see if I've somehow been corrupted...er...I mean influenced...by that blatantly-heterosexualized, punk-vamp, bloodsuckers-from-hell, two-dimensional atrocity...

Prophecy: I'm trying to decide what to do with this. There are two possible applications of the words of the prophecy...I can let them assume the "better" meaning and be surprised, or I can just go with the better meaning..

Airport Guy: Yeah...been toying with bringing him back. And also the hooker who donated blood to Julian towards the end of the first book. They're going to be pawns in this game, still figuring out exactly how...

Oh yeah, Brolem, Rhiana is definitely going to be a major character in this book, never fear :)

I just spent my entire evening reading the entire posted story. Fantastic work. Very good mixture of the plot driven Sci-Fi with the erotic elements and making them integrate and support one another. Also very nice mythology. One could see you branching out into a historic setting in your next "book".

A few bits of creative criticism: Keep it fresh to those well versed in Sci-Fi & Fantasy by not resorting to well-known formulaic writings. The ending of the first book was a little too similar to Rice's climax of Queen of the Damned. Also, the prophecy angle could be clarified a bit.

Then again, these have now become classics because they are so successful. While they are recognizable, you have successfully incorporated them as your own.

A suggestion....I would enjoy seeing a return from they guy they met in the airport when Julian was disguised as "grandpa". He seemed to have an instant connection with Julian that could be explored. Julian did seem to want to aid this person to remove the budding programming. There are many avenues visible within Dark Legacy where this character could be reincorporated and fleshed out.

Regardless, thanks for the fantastic evening of reading. I can't wait for the next installment.

Chapter 3 read... What the Kid said about studying the dampening field made me think... Eternity... Alive... Together... Wow, it's just overwhelming.

Oh, and the quote, "These pheremones are a public menace." I giggled. "We could take out an army, just by making
out!" was very amusing... Do it... I think that would be a fun scene. Destroy an army with them making out ^^ *cackles gleefully* Oh, and I do so hope that more shall be seen of the government lady person. Another strong female character would be nice to balance out the male tones. (feminist side of me acting up as usual)

Dark Legacy Chapter 3 is now up on nifty...

Edited by author 07-14-2007 02:00 AM
Nope. The Digital Prophecies are...not supposed to be something that could really be included like this. They'd be their own book, which nobody would read.

The Digital Prophets are the combined intelligences of all the jewel-facets of all the AI's of past immortals (usually including the personalities of the immortals, if they lived past the point of merging with their AI). They analyze all the data from all their many ways of gathering info about the universe (including some time-warping technology, etc)...and generate tons of data (most of which nobody else can make any sense of).

Interspersed in this data are blocks of text...sentences, or paragraphs, packed together in no particular order (some oblique mention of the Thacian Wars some 400 years before Atlantis was founded might be strung right between equally obscure reference to WWII and the birth of a Second Atlantis). And there is a LOT of it, most of which has never been figured out.

OK, I'm back into reading... didn't realize book 2 was moving on without me.

Have you ever written up the entire text of the Digital Prophecies, tho? I tried hunting around a bit, but haven't found it yet.

ew...

...I want to save him :(

And the mysterious lady... She sounds a bit like an ally of some kind... Yet she's only mortal. And I'm hoping she'll play a nice role in this story; I like my strong female characters :)

Ya, I had trouble reading chapter 2 as well, but I just didn't read it for a while and waited it out ^^ But I like Jeremy's idea about sex in sewers ^^ Can anyone say "manhole"?

Edited by author 06-26-2007 05:34 PM
Hmm, yes, makes things just so EASY doesn't it? And there you put your finger on what the issue is going to be here...it's not going to be anything nearly so simple as literal, unwilling slavery...

Wonderful.

When I read the part about William, I can't but think that it would be so cool to be connected to an autonoid network, to be able to fill in information subconsciously and give good answers to difficult questions without effort. Of course, that means I have to be an autonoid, but as long as they aren't up to something terrible I'm not sure I would mind. :-)

The READABLE version of Chapter 2 is now up...

LoL
Yeah, I tried to read it, but my eyes are having none of that. What little I got through though looks good. I like the twist on the virus.

I've had a bit of back-and-forth with the Nifty archivist. They had some down time for taking updates (which ended the 23rd). Then we had some formatting issues. They've now put on a very messy version of my chapter 2 update, but I'm asking them to remove it (and uploaded a new, freshly formatted html to replace it) because it looks so bad to try to read.

Nifty doesn't seem to be getting to posting the next issue. I'm a sad, sad boy. ; ;

I've emailed Symbiota Sapiens: Dark Legacy - Chapter 2 into the nifty archivist, it should show up online sometime today or tomorrow...

Wow, thanks for rushing to my defense guys. I guess Jack got thrown off by the out-of-body experience in that chapter. Good to have loyal readers...

Personally, I have never lost interest in a story due to a too complex plot. Quite on the contrary; many stories have a one-dimensional and rather uninteresting plot. That is not the case with Symbiota Sapiens.

Dean, you're great. Don't listen to Jack.

That is totally uncalled for. If you don't like it, keep your comments to yourself if you can't word them in a less offensive manner. You can see that this story has a huge following, and as far as I can tell, it is well written and interesting. It also looks like it will be bringing up some socially relevant themes in the new series as well as the usual, so I for one am really looking forward to reading it. So don't just dismiss out of hand all the hard work that Dean has put into this story for our pleasure just because you can't follow the plot.

I just came to Chapter 20 and completely lost track of what is going on. I'm assuming that studies must have been draining. It pisses me off to invest time into a story and have no further interest in a story. Sorry.

I'm baaaaack! =P Disappeared due to the scary work load of homework. My school's system is a bit like University/College so we seriously start scurrying around getting work done after mid term. Ya, just finished the last of my work yesterday (and then slept until 10 today).

Nice to see the story coming back to life :) And now that Damien is mortal, I actually feel sorry for him... I have an image of him now dying in a blaze of glory and light.

Oh, and I liked what the twins said. How they could do it with each other and it's like masturbation... Firstly, I"m curious how they could do it with one of them being gay and all...

Oh, and will we see more of Julian's blood saver? You know, the girl who prostituted herself and gave blood to Julian? I think she'd make a good ally... (Can anyone say fag hag?)(As in the gay boy's best friend type)

Now that it's summer for me, I can read AND comment again. ^^

Grant, thanks. No I don't think I mentioned it. Wherever it is it'd probably be somewhere very very secret and inaccessible to mortals and immortals, except maybe the Elders.

Hey Dean!

Sweet start to a new novel!

Q: I bet you mentioned it in the first book, is there a place where these "gems" are stored in the meeting place of the immortals?

Thanks again for a great "read",
Grant

Damion had not yet merged with his AI. That process takes several hundred years and is slowed down if the immortal has ongoing conflict and arguments with their AI (which occurs when the person has "issues" within themselves already).

IF the immortal has already merged with their AI, then the combined personality gets put into one of those crystal things if they die. So...you could say at that point they're not technically dead, but move on into some kind of digital afterlife. Most of the time this is voluntary - an immortal who lives long enough to merge with their AI like that tends to be VERY powerful (and experienced) and therefore, almost impossible to kill. Eventually such powerful beings chose to 'move on', and physically "die", but then their crystal is added with those of past immortals, and of course together they are the digital prophets.

If an immortal dies before merging with their AI, then the immortal is actually dead. Their AI can live on by itself if the circumstances of death were mild enough to allow formation of the crystal.

Oooh.... sneaky. Never saw that coming. Looks like there are some interesting historical issues on the way... and some of that other stuff too. :D

Why isn't the AI destroyed when the immortal dies? I thought that the immortal, after some time, merges with his AI. That should mean that the immortal cannot die as long as the AI is intact, shouldn't it?

I'm so excited...I can't wait untill this unfolds...Dean you are my hero.

Well wasn't that a bit of a twist?

Chapter 1 of Symbiota Sapiens: Dark Legacy is now online...

Esseren?

Ah, wonderful. The exams are over, the weather is beautiful and a new chapter of Symbiota Sapiens is out. What more could a man ask for?

Thank you :)

Yes it was !!! great start keep up the great writing there sweety love the storie

Wow, Cool! Thanks, Dean. I'm sure it'll have been worth the wait.

The prologue of Symbiota Sapiens: Dark Legacy is now available on nifty. It is in the same directory with the first book. Enjoy...

Now, Dean, That is just torture..lol I know theres fresh new virgin chapters out there but I have no way to dive into them...You are one naughty author..yes you are ^^

Hey people...sorry this last semester was a bit more stacked than last one so I didn't have the time to devote to a second novel. Now it's summer, I've got two chapters written and started on a third...I'm going to get ahead by a few chapters before I start releasing them.

Yes, of course, all donations are welcome :)

No pressure, no pressure... just letting Dean know he has a devoted fan base out here. :)

As are we all, but writing is a creative process. Also bear in mind that we, Deans readers are not paying for his work therefore have no right to pressure him. Although if anyone would like to make a donation to the cause, I'm sure Dean wouldn't have a problem with that, would you Dean? :) LMAO

I'm waiting too :)

I just reread the story. When's the next one coming out?

So . . . any news on the next story?

I'll probably put it in the same directory as the old novel anyways...iv seen a few on nifty that did that with sequels i'll just have to figure out how.

That's a good idea, but the "SciFi-Fantasy" section on Nifty doesn't see a whole lotta posts; even over a 2-week period there are usually less than ten, so if you check periodically you may be able to spot Dean's latest anyway.

Dean, please be sure to give us the name of the new novel when you begin posting it on Nifty so we all can find it.

I liked the story very much, actually it was an excellant read. I like the whole idea of a way more superior technology than us, it is a great escape from the real world. At least I think that. I really liked that the nano technology, actually being able to make the person like a god, it was great. I'm dieing to read the sequal to Symbiotia Sapiens, and I hope it will be even better than the first.

Edited by author 03-01-2007 01:45 PM
Lol. Okay, patience. I'm still planning out the sequel. This second book is a good bit more complicated so I'm charting out how things are going to go before I even write the first chapter. It's coming along, don't worry...I hope to start writing within the next couple weeks...hopefully by Spring Break.

Ok, Dean, luv..We need an update here..Cliff hangers are a pleasurable tourment but you are taking it too far, my friend. Point blank..I need something here..I need a fix.lol Gives us an update soon, k?

I loved the whole story and can't wait for the sequel.

ok loved the last chapter!!! can't wait for the next storie

Oh, interesting. Well thanks for a great story. Like I said before, I can't wait til the next one. I'm excited to see how the full story unfolds. Good luck.

Well, Dean, since Julian teamed up with Jeremy's AI to design electronics for him in the past, it seems to me that their joint AI having access to Julian's electronics/computer knowledge and understanding would be that much more powerful. And, now Julian and the AI can communicate directly and instantaneously. Cool deal, eh?

Edited by author 02-18-2007 08:49 PM
hmm, well technically the Kid now has double the processing power he had before. But then...before was "nearly infinite", and he's never had any trouble with processing power limitations so far, so it's kinda hard to say how this will change his abilities significantly.

Yes, the AI has the same exact relationship with Julian as he has had with Jeremey. Including cataloguing the stored memories (if Julian wants him to do that).

Oh. And there is no "just an attachment". It's not a subordinate position in any way.

Thanks for clearing that up for me Dean. One last question. Since Julian is now a Guardian also wouldn't that make their AI more intelegent? Well, since Julian has a vast understanding of technology. I guess it comes down to this question really. Does the AI catalog all the events of Julians life as it did with Jeremy's or is it different because Julian is just an attachment?

Edited by author 02-18-2007 01:39 PM
Hmm. I was thinking more something like redemption or restoration than mere atonement. The premise is that Damion is a product of his very troubled past (which you will see in the sequel) and of some of the failings of the Guardians as well (as Dave has pointed out). Rom mentioned that "justice is only half of the equation" not only to Damion, but also to Elena. The decision to Unmake rather than simply kill Damion was not to punish Damion, but to give him an opportunity to, yes, atone, but more importantly, so the process of atoning would give him the opportunity to become a better person, as he still has the potential to be (evidenced by his all-out love for Elizabeth, despite the fact that that love motivated him to commit further atrocities). The Elder's goal when they intercede in the lives of Guardians like this is not mere administration of justice, but to actually heal a gaping wound in the actual group of immortals.

Yes Dave, you are definitely getting in the right direction about the conflicts/problems in the Guardian philosophy, as mentioned by Damion when he came to the hotel and made that "pitch" to Jeremey. Damion really believes that stuff on some level, and it was at the root of his break with the Guardians originally.

And just to be a diabolical tease, I'll hint that the new enemy the Guardians will be facing is in many ways a direct champion of the more individualized interests the Guardian's have learned to ignore in favor of the greater good, etc. Though...taking things rather too far...

Oooh... I'm really looking forward to the sequal. And I LOVED IT! ^___^

*hugs for Dean*

Thanks so fucking much for this wonderful story. It's most excellent.

Cheers!

Edited by author 02-18-2007 11:06 AM
im sad this part is over ... amazing story.
but im happy theres more to come =]

  Sheesh, y'all were busy yesterday.
  Thanks for amednign my assertions, Dean. I'd forgotten the specific details... that the mergining takes years-plus.
  I'll also admit to having a VERY bad opinion of Damion. His motives aren;'t what particularly frosts my muffin (NO idea whre that came from), it's his methods and application. He demonstrates an absolute and dreadful arrogance -- I'm important and everything else isn't; if that bothers you, well... tough s**t. There's far too much of that attitude in the world as it is, never mind when its exercised by truly powerful individuals. Damion seemed to suffer from a terribly finite pool of empathy. I can sorta forgive him for the Jeremy-Julian bit, but his cavalier employment of the aytonoid 'mechanism' is just nasty. Damion definitely needs to atone, and I'll give him a little credit from the late scenes in 29, he seems to be working on that. I scent an underlying element within the Guardian psyche that contributes to that attitude. It demands serious will and effort to empathize with humanity-as-a-whole when you live for centuries or longer. Not sure how much of that Elena has, and Damion showed d**n little if any. Dunno about Rom yet; being a child may've been good for his outlook.
  I'll also say that having HAD immortality and power, and still living after having that torn away from him, would be a wonderfully just and implacably cruel punishment.
  Aliens? Eeek! There are more than enough other plot-lines to work from, not least the (for lack of better terms) activiist-versus-conservative (rebuild Atalntis v. aid/enable humans progress) ideologies within the Guardians. I can see points in favor bf both, and for more (or less) 'activist' aid/enabling, too.

When Jeremey looses contact with the virus in Damion I flashed on an Alec Baldwin/ Ben kingsley movie where Ben is tellin Alec "A righteous man is not without sin. A righteous man admits to his sin, and expiates it." For your story I heard the word " Atonement ". Something I think Damion is going to become very intimate with. Once again a really great story. Keep writing.
We're not done with you yet. Voice over with evil laughter.

hey guys thanks for the comments. wow. okay, a few things:

1. Dave you were a little off on the AI/host symbiosis thing there...I believe somewhere in the book Rom explained that the AI and host eventually merge, but this was after many decades of working together, not mere weeks. In Jeremey's case, this process will be complicated by the fact that there are now two hosts. So...you'll see how that works. And I'll just say that they will not be the first immortals to have this close of an attachment. The AI decides whether it would be a good idea to do that in a new attachment, and also, yes genetics are a key factor...

2. No aliens in the sequel. This new threat is from an entirely different direction...

3. Elizabeth can't attach anyone. She's an attachment herself (Rom's).

4. I'm still in the planning stages of the sequel. At first I was thinking (and you'd all hate this) that the next book would basically be Damion's story. There seemed to be a lot of misunderstanding of Damion in the comments and I wanted to sort of explain his whole backstory, how he became what he became, etc. That part will also explain more effectively the Present/Future conflicts that Damion complained about as far as the Guardian's operations, etc. A comment by Elena during their final showdown will give you a hint what was going on that disillusioned him...

You'll be happy to note that instead of following Anne Rice's series style, I'll be going Rowling-style with chronological books picking up where the last left off. Sort of. The second book is going to switch back and forth from Jer/Jul's present to Damion's past, so that the past sort of gives backdrop to things in the present. A bit more sophisticated than this one, I think...

  Since I just went and read ch. 29, I have a couple follow-on bits, and a response to Brolem.
  Taking the last first, like Pierre Trudeau said, Living next door to the U.S. is like a man being in bed with an elephant; no matter how genial the elephant, the man is apt to be a bit nervous." And to top it off, we're not only bigger than Canda, we're bigger than all but two countires on the planet... which makes us believe we're special. Ahem (*snort, guffaw, hoot). It explains why Americans are dreadfully ignorant of geography and non-English languages (and sometimes of English, for that matter). And then we're more relgious than most of the civilized-industrialized world, too. Tend to wear it too much on our sleeves, \and not enolugh in our hearts, anyway. And I've grumbled acidly for years that Virginia (where I live) is a state being unwillingly dragged kicking and screaming into the late 19th (now early 20th) cewntury (*grumble, mytter growl*).
  I think that since we (the readers) have some appreciation for how Guardians and Elders work and what they do, more exploration of their goals may be in order. That would mesh with the effort aagainst the autonoids, and the (possibly forlorn and hopeless) effort to keep the whoel business under wraps.
  I expect that Jeremy and Julian share an AI-consciousness because their genetic information is so similar. From what Dean (as narrator) has let on, new esserem imprint with the genetic ID of their host, and work from thre. Except that Julian's new esserem came from Jeremy, and Julian's genetic ID is too similar to trigger the re-write and, ah, re-boot. And they're in love too, which may've further muddled the "normal" process.
  Can't feel sorry for Damion; he deserves it, and richly so. Maybe Elizabeth will decide to imprint him.... but probably not without Elder permission.. once burned, shame on you, twice, shame on me.
  And the Julain-Kid-Jeremy issue gives a whole new dimension to the concept of "mindf**k" (*snicker).

*virgin post of the last chapter*
MUHAHAHAAHAHA! <3

I like how it ended... Still feel a bit sorry for Damion, but it worked. Oh yes, the sexings are tres chaud! It has so much potential for kink... TRIPLE PLEASURE ORGASMS! And of course, Julian's comment about a threesome with the Kid crossed my mind. *crazy mind sexings* The kinky side of me is twitching violently right now.

I get the feeling that the Guardians will have to play a bigger part in the sequel and it kind of reminds me of a group of super heroes. And I hope that you aren't going to be doing aliens in the sequel. It said that Damion didn't just have Immortal accomplices or something like that... Ya, the sequel has a lot of potential. And this is where Jeremy and Julian get to be super heroes! =P

Oh ya, North of the Border (aka, where I live) is nice and liberal in comparison <3 We have a grade 10 literacy test done by the government to show that students can achieve competent literacy and my school has a steady 97%/98% pass rate. Meaning, we're a lot less stupid than America in general (no offence, just annoyed at how you guys could elect Bush twice...)

Yep, I'll echo Matt's and Sir Tempus' entyhusiastic support wholeheartedly. But then y'all know that already.
  As for Tempus' query about the "split AI" bit, twhen first activiated in a person (as in Jeremy in the first two chapters) their collective intelligence is separate from that of their host. That separation is a result of unfamiliarity, and they learn rapidly -- you'll notice that "the Kid" in Jeremy anticipates most of his requests by the last chapters... and it's only been what, maybe two weeks? In another six to eight weeks, "the Kid" will effectively dissolve into Jeremy's personality, and any communication between 'Jeremy proper' and his esserem (aka "the Kid") will occur subconsciously, except perhaps under extraordinary conditions. All the Guardians had to go through that, and I expect the Elders did too, although taeir experience was MUCH longer ago.
  Oops. Fell into teacher mode. Didn;t mean to steal your thunder, Dean. And if there's anything you wanna add...

Dean? That was one heck of a good story you shared with us. I've loved every minute of the ride, and I can't wait for more. The sex was sizzling, the characters were delightfully complex, and you really have a way of pulling me into the plot. Bravo!

Omg, I just finished reading the last chapter. I just recently started the novel three days ago and have been glued to my monitor every free chance I could get. One, let me start by giving you a larger ego, Dean. This novel was a work of art and I loved it. Two. Hurry up with that damn sequel. I just have to know more. And one question. I'm a little confuzzled by this split AI thing. Would you mind explaining it in more detail please?

Very insightful Dave, about Jeremey and Julian.

As for the Unmaking. That is a very closely guarded Elder ceremony that no Guardian has ever witnessed (except those unfortunate enough to be a part of it, of course). However...Jeremey does get convenient little peaks at what Damion is up to now and then, thanks to a little virus...

  Just read chapter 28; Nifty was having difficulties yesterday morning (my usual visit time), and I didn't download it until yesterday evening.
  Well, WOW! And about bleeding time, too. I like Jeremy and all, but sometimes he is not the quickest on the uptake, especially with his own emotions. OK, that probably applies to a lot of people.
  Now, after some of what Elena said, I can see more clearly why she and her cohorts chose Jeremy and not Julian. Under the stres of adjusting to Julian's Guardianship, Jeremy would've freaked completely, especially if Julian confessed his undying and unequivocal love -- that would have driven Jeremy very far away, for quite a while, and left Julian vulnerable and deeply hurt by the (temporary?) rejection.
  But I gotta question: what goes into the Elders' unmaking of a Guardian? Is the Guardian left alive afterward, with a memory of what he or she was before? That would be pretty cruel, although in Damion's case entirely justified. After his caress-and-sneak-attack bit on Elena, I think any mere physical demise is far too kind and merciful for him. He makes sharks and berserk wolverines look like genail beining garden gnomes, in comparison.
  Afraid I'd missed the hubbub over the Canadian Minister for Immigration's f**k-up. Our friends north of the border generally exhibit so much more sense than we do, sigh. Soemthing in the American national character makes us genberous and dumber than fenceposts -- thinking of the recent appalling statistic that more tha half of adult American HS grads do not believe in evolution or natural selection for the origin of humanity. Prolly explains how we elected Dubya. Twice.

I really liked this story and look forward to the conclusion and sequel.

To answer your question about what gayness has to do with refugee status: The gentleman in question fled Nicaragua because he was being persecuted for being gay. He was repeatedly told by his countrymen that he would be tortured or even killed had he remained there because he was gay. He ran north and eventually ended up in Canada. The Canadian immigration official assigned to the case stated that since the young man was not sexually active in his teens, he could not prove that he was gay and since he wasn't, in her opinion, gay he did not face persecution for being returned to Nicaragua therefore did not qualify for refugee status since those are the grounds he stated for placing his request.

I hope this answers your question.

eek. the tentacle rape in the dream was just Jeremey's imagination making disturbing symbolic images, bro. they aren't actually meant for that sort of thing, lol!

i dont understand. what does gayness have to do with refugee status?

<3 I died of cute... Again... Jeremy/Julian = insanely adorable.

I vote that Damien is bent over and penetrated using his own tentacles. =P

I was SO thinking tentacle rape while Damien was using them... Oh, and I personally hate the concept, but it's still highly amusing. TENTACLES!

Oh, and please, FLAME THE MINISTER OF IMMIGRATION! She's a nasty witch who won't let this guy claim refugee status because he's "not gay enough". -_-' He's 21 with a grade 6 education and he's been on the run for 9 years. Ya, sure, he's SO had time to be sleeping around and flirting with guys. REAL smart! (Sorry, I'm just being my crazy, social activist self)
http://orangehabitat.com/alvaro/

everyone is saying that damion should get what he deserves bla bla. i would like to see him stay in the story ... if he was to die, wouldn't the story kind of come to an end too ? unless another threat comes long ... i dont want this story to end, ever ! lolz =P

Wouldn't it be cool if Damion became Jeremey's and Julian's slave for the rest of time in a future episode? So he can be punished for all time for what he's done to everybody else?

Well, I hope Elena is going to be okay, and I'm so glad that Julian and Jeremy are finally attatched. Wheeee!

Cheers!

Edited by author 02-09-2007 01:13 PM
There will be a concluding chapter to wrap up a few things. Not everything though. There IS going to be a sequel...

Oh. And I finished the first semester of lawschool just fine. Two and half more years to go though...

Well, Dean, it looks great at this point (Chpt. 28). I do hope Damion gets what he deserves (?). If this is the end of this book it came to a nice end. If it's not, I wouldn't mind find out what does happen to Damion, and what the other Elders will do about the mess he's created with the autonoids and all. Thanks again for another well written chapter. By the way, did you finish with your schooling? How did your exams turn out?

Oh. Tell me there's more than what you just released(Chapter 28). Or do we pick up on the new book now? I want to know what happened to Damian. And Rom.

Really a captivating story. I've been following it for some months now. Good work Dean, and thanks for a great storyline. :-)

I think I claim first poster rights?

i like the storie it seems realy intersting, very creative mind.

Right on Dave. Elizabeth knows about Elena...she and Damion vaguely alluded to it in one of their first conversations Jeremey overheard...Damion wants to turn Elizabeth not just to keep her alive, but also to know for sure if she loves him, because deep down he's afraid she'll do the same to him, because that's exactly what he'd deserve.

Deam I'm sorry you had such a BAD Expoerience with "Shaun of the Dead." Viewing cirumstances aside though, it really is a good film. Honest. And I'm NOT a zomboie enthusiast.

And I guess you answered Redroger's queries pretty thoroughly. I'd kinda figured Rom would be with Elizabeth, since Damion couldn't be up to his nasty self if he was protecting/holding her... which shows where his priorities lie. Wonder if Elixabeth knows the Elena story, and how she'll react when she finds out. Wouldn't wanna be Damion for THAT scene 00 woman scorned and all (*shudder*).

Dealing with the Elder-and-Guardian goal, they seem to be truying to re-create Atlantis... in ideal and practice if not in physical fact. That's the root-element, the ur-danke (to get metaphysically German) of their entire 'program.' The Guardians get to do nearly all the 'grunt work' such as it is. Soemwhere in the first few chapters, someone described this to Neremy -- think it was either Rom or Damion -- that nearly ALL the advances in science, knowledge, technology, and culture over the last 2,000 yuears (or maybe 3K) stem from Guardian input, sugggestion, or guidance. So they ARE busy, Redroger... it's just difficult to see, unless you're part of the -- well, you get the idea.

wow. that's a LOT. okay here's my answers as best as i can do right now...

1. The Elders are working towards a utopian future for humanity. So...not precisely "for" the mortals. Individual mortals, or even large groups of mortals, are expendable (as are immortals, actually) in the long-term project of restoring humanity as a whole to its former glory. Rom's part in this has been investigating and rooting out the autonoid phenomenon, since that's a major threat to the future.

2. The Elders, like all the immortals, want to avoid public exposure. Having a few secret government organizations vaguely aware of the existence of "some group of individuals with unusual powers" is not in itself a threat. More widespread exposure would be a problem. They aren't likely to use bombs to kill Damion though. They need information, they need control of the situation to prevent Damions actions from having long-term consequences.

3. Rom has been busy...romancing Elizabeth AND trying to draw information out of her about Damion. We'll see in the sequel just how those two goals aid and interfere with each other...

4. Yes. A mortal can seduce a Guardian in order to become immortal themselves. They can lie in order to do this. This is exactly what Damion did to Elena, remember. It's the risk each Guardian takes when they attach, and their main weakness. The new AI in the attachment will know immediately, yes. But the AI is absolutely loyal to its host, and therefore goes along with it.

EMP...actually I've thought about this. Still havent decided, lol.

About Damion... let's just say he's a monster.

How many more people is he going to infect before the elders just use a few well placed bombs to kill him dead?
If the elders are there...

 ya know I was going to say the elders helped humanity, but you haven't actually had any of the elders say they were working for the benefit of humanity. Or, for that matter, have you had them actually say that their side tries to help mortals at all? Or am I forgetting something in the previous chapters?
The way it looks at this point, with Damion free to dominate an area to the detriment and death of so many mortals, through the autonoids.
And to the point that at least one government agency would have to notice these people doing irrational actions and getting hurt when they do. Wouldn't that be enough for the elders to want to stop Damion permanently?

Don't the elders want to keep the government and the public at large, usaware of their existance? Or do they have so much influence they don't have to worry about the government or the public?

Oh yeah! Where the H*** is Rom?!

I was going to ask one more question and it lead me to re-read some of the story ( always a sign of good writing ).
If an attachment doesn't have personality modifiers in the caretakers that make them an attachment ; isn't that a potential threat to the immortal and the Esseren inside them?
I would think the programing for the attachment process would verify the truthfulness of the one being attached to the immortal. If they were only acting like they loved the immortal to get the attachment style Esseren, wouldn't the Esseren know that as soon as it was inside the mortal?

Another question. Are Esseren vulnerable to EMP? In your story, can focused EMP temporarily deactivate or RESTART Esseren?

OK, I think that's more than enough grilling the author for now.
I have to end with KUDOs for a story that gets me so envolved I ask real world questions. Keep up the great work. We can't get enough of it.

had the misfortune of sitting next to someone who was watching that movie on a transcontinental flight a couple years ago. trying to sleep...eyes kept opening and drifting over...[shudders]...lets just say it's not my favorite movie...

about Damion...no he does genuinely love elizabeth. unfortunately, loving her doesn't change the fact that he is also a vicious bastard. jeremey just fucked him over, and fucked elizabeth over, and risked elizabeth's life to do it (the esseren fucking around with her heart and doing stuff to give her spasms, etc.). damion is not only incensed about that, but he's also probably feeling very insecure right now, because now Rom loves her too, and actually COULD give her what she deserves (the very thing jeremey kept Damion from giving to her).

the way vicious bastards tend to express their displeasure and insecurity is by hurting whoever seems to be responsible...bad.

   I just finished reading chapters 25 to 27. So much for a relative absence of erotic content, forlmao. Very hot sex-love scenes, particularly because of the context, of something long-awaited (at least by Julian), and now finally arrving. Very well done!
   With a nod to Brolem's 'zombie' comment, I got the impression of demonic possession... which may not be too far removed, though.
   BTW, have either of you seen "Shaun of the Dead"? (Not certain of spelling) It's a British zombie flick, but wonderfully off-beat, since the title character (a middle-class guy, separated from his wife) and his buds amble through the first three-fifths of the film blithely oblivious to the growing numbers of vacant-eyed zombies staggering and shambling through the streets of London in borad daylight. Shaun gets to survive though, even if it's a close-run thing.
   And about my earlier comments on Damion: screw it. Kill the f***er, preferably by slowly ripping his spinal cord out through his vertebrae. The more it hurts, the better. He's not behaving like a person, he's behaving like a crazed obsessive beast. Nasty sh*t; it's pretty apparent his affection for Elizabeth is disengenuous at best, the sleazy slippery bastard.
   And I really wanna know what's happening with Rom and Elizabeth (who probably IS worth saving, especially if, as I kinda suspect, Rom has chosen to select her.

i love ur stories! i dont really have much time to read other stories cuz of school, and this is the only story that is worth reading. i didnt get a chance to read the last couple chapters cuz of midterms, and i just finished reading up to ch 26; its wonderful! keep it up! =]

No feedback for you! I certainly won't say how much I loved this chapter, or how much I look forward to the next installment. Nosir!

Cheers!

Edited by author 02-03-2007 09:28 AM
oh no. they aren't in any way zombies! (i hate zombie movies too)...these are normal people, going about their daily lives...and Damion can sort of take over their body when he wants to. you'd be attracted to some of them. lol.

as for the Elders...well...Jeremey did send out that call for help so hopefully some will be forthcoming. things are getting very close to the end now ;)

Woo, first post of the new chapter =P

Um, personally, I'm feeling a bit nauseated... I don't like zombie movies very much (traumatized by Dawn of the Dead) and that chapter REALLY made me think of those nasty things... *twitch*

What of the Elders? Aren't they going to appear some time soon? >_> How many chapters left?

i have now uploaded Chapter 27 to nifty...it should update to the archive in a few hours...

hmm. yeah i did use wikipedia after reading your message brolem, lol. not planning any role play situations between the brothers, sorry. not that kind of story...as for role reversal...well...hmm...you'll just have to wait for the sequel for that. it certainly wont happen in this book.

*whips* WRITE! SUBMIT NEW CHAPTER! NOW!

<3 *cackles* Sorry, I can't get the S&M ideas out of my head right now.

This chapter had role play potential... Pretend they are wrestling when they are younger and Julian "takes the plunge" and gropes Jeremy. Jeremy actually likes what Julian does (in character) and acts all "big brother getting off" thing...

Oh, and I think Julian should seme at some point =P I want to see Jeremy act uke. <3 (If you don't know your fangirlese, wiki it, I'm too lazy to translate)

Dean! Thank you thank you thank you. That really would have done it in for me if Julian died. I have to say you have a great story. Engaging as they say.
Just keep er cummin.

Well that was certainly called for. And good for ... well, everyone. Yay!

Okay, I want more now... this just wasn't enough. *sits on his hands and waits patiently*

Cheers

I have posted chapter 26 this morning...may take a few hours to update to the archive.

OK.... I have to say that this last chapter is the best... or 2nd.... 3rd??? sorry my split personalitys can't decide.

One side of me really likes the Sci-Fi element of the introduction of the Esseren. But then again you are really good at describing the feelings involved in long denied passionate sex. (I would say love making but that last seen was just too HOT.)

(does anyone else think the english language is lacking in more discriptive words for sex/lovemaking? (sorry there goes my analist personality)

Anyway I want to say, "Damn you!!!!" for leaving us with such a great cliff hanger. (your stories are currently the highlight of my online reading. I check every day for a new one.)

I do wonder how this is going to work cause the Kid is disconected completely from Jeremys body right? had to use a computer to commuicate with Julian (which doesn't explain why he couldn't talk to Rom... hmm...

So needless to say all three of my main personalitys (and about 20 of my .... hmmm 20! other personalitys) are completely hooked on your story! don't leave us hanging so long! my thumbs get tired (not the rest of my hand... just the thumb.)

It's not often that a story on nifty captivates me so completely as yours has, so kudos to you sir! =D I eagerly anticipate the next installment.

ok !! that is not nice leaving it hanging like that!! i want MOOOOOORE love the storie keep up the great work!!

 OMG blood !! can't stop it !!!

*pouts*
cae

Yaaarg! Bad, bad bad Dean! *pout*

I want more. >_<

I love this story. ^_^

Cheers!

I just started to read the story. It is awesome. I love the last chapter. I wonder who the new enemy is or is it an old one. Can't wait for the next chapter

I'll echo some of what Brulem pointed out.
Anybody EXCEPT Jeremy seemed to figure out that Julian was head-over-heels in love with his older brother... except Jeremy himself. Silly goose (lol).
  Dunno about the S&M potential. Although there's sure-as-shootin' some bondage elements involved, tee-hee. I didn't say it was erotic bondage, mind.

OK, so Jeremy can't move right now, but if I recall correctly his AI should still be able to operate his body. And he has previously ordered the AI to take control of his body if it is necessary in order to save Julian. So I think the AI should do something now.

Great chapter by the way. Before I read it I was confused by the hints that Rom would be infected with the virus; surely Damion would not be able to hide the virus that well - I mean, Jeremy had to resort to strong encryption to do it, and if Damion had done that it would have looked suspicious to Rom, whom Jeremy would have told about the possibility of a virus, having overheard that conversation. But if he took it willingly, it all makes sense.

Yup, Paganliam is right =P <3 = heart/love. But those are absolutely FASCINATING interpretations though. I'm very amused...

 I traced his lips with my tongue and they immediately opened. I felt a soft breath
exhale and quickly moved to seal my lips against his, to swallow any more soft breaths or
sighs or, hell, anything coming from those perfect lips, I wanted it!

Uh, what about blood, puke, bile, mucus, or undead babies? Would Jeremy want those as well?


     "You are mine. You will always be mine. If anyone lays a hand on you, ever, I will
tear them to pieces with my bare hands, you hear me?"

     "Yes, Jeremey."

     "Say it."

     "Nobody else."

     "You're mine!"

     "Yes! Yours!"

     "Mine!" I slammed into him, hard. Julian's breath came out of him in an explosive
whuff! I pulled out and slammed in again and this time he managed to yell out "Yours!"
back at me.

*cackles* Can anyone say S&M potential? <3


Sorry, I can't resist the comments. Alas, I seem to be going through a not-aroused period. I'm shocked I couldn't come while reading the sexings. Well, the cliffie makes me want to bite something. Ah well, it just adds more plot and all that jazz. Now, let's see what happens to Damien...

I just read your latest chapter...and that cliffhanger makes me want to hunt you down and DRAG the rest of the story out of you. That's a compliment, by the way.

<3 = Heart/Love

;)

Pretty cool chapter.
  I'm not wholly convinced that Rom is trustworthy, but in light of the, ah, 'author's note', I'm inclied to expect that he will act according to what he believes is best for the guardians as a whole, and secondarily what is good for Jeremy and Julian (who, I think, he has developed some affection for).
  Can't answer Dean's brownioe-point question without going back and re-reading chaps 22, 23, AND 24 (yeah, RIGHT!),. I'm also not sure wheter Elizabeth ahs or hasn't been converted --- her second weave of convylsions, and Damion's alarm/concern over them is awarning note... unless that's just meant ot occupy his attention while the Guardian strike team arrives.
  I'm not sure exactly how evil Damion is. Certainly not gonna win any nice-guy contests, but his motivations are at least pretty huamn (OK, so he'd consider that an insult. His prob, not mine); he wants to preserve his beloved. On the other hand, the means he chose is distinctly sleazy AND unprincipled; he wants to keep his cake and eat it too, so to speak. Weasel (and THAT'S an insult to most weasels).
  I figger we've got at least two, maybe as many as four, chapters to go. I don't really expect the guardian strike to work, exactly. Although they may end up with Elizabeth, depedning on how absolutely sleazy Damion is. Will he scarifice his freedom to stay with her, or bail to save his own hide? And, how bloodthirsty are the Guardians gonna be?

Edited by author 01-14-2007 02:12 PM
Eh...Brolem...iv been wondering, for about as long as you've been posting...does " <3 " signify a rose or...er...balls? (cough, cough)

I love this part of the story:

  I nodded slowly, then wrapped my arms around him and kicked us along again. Julian
made an effort to keep his body moulded to mine, make us aerodynamic in the water. An intimate
dance, swimming, breathing, holding.

     On towards the distant shore, miles away...

It's so cuuuute! <333 And erotic <3

If you get the story done in 2 weeks, I'll be doing my high school exams.

Boo, I don't like H/D =P I think Draco is annoying and have a preference for other pairings such as H/O, H/C, H/R, R/K, O/C B/Ch G/F

Oh, and as for females, G/Her

I'm supposing it has to do with the Virus Damien mentioned including in the program, the same program Rom stated was clean. ;)

Great story btw. Been really enjoying it.

Well...remember Julian is knocked out (so Damien can't do anything to him just now) and Rom and the others are going in to kill/capture Damion. I think the idea is for this to be the End-Game showdown. As for trusting Rom, I'll just say that as an Elder of the Guardians he can be trusted to act as such. That also means he won't turn Julian without the recommendation of the brotherhood. Appointment or attachment...those are the only ways to get the gift.

Though...in the next chapter you will find out about Rom's personal interests in this situation (which will interfere with his Elder responsibilities). Personal interests that only just came into being during chapter 24...I've dropped one hint. Or actually, two halves of a hint in two different places. Damion mentioned in chapter 22 that he did something...and in chapter 24 Rom should have noticed it but didn't mention it...hmmm...anyone? Ten brownie points to whoever figures it out first, hehe.

Interesting... I wonder if he really has made Elizabeth immortal, or if there is something funny with her Esseren (apart from the one-year limit). I suppose Rom could make Julian immortal, if Jeremy has given away his chance.

And I wonder how Damion will react when he is attacked by the Guardians next. If he thinks he's been hoodwinked he's sure to kill Julian, isn't he? Unless he thinks he's saving Elizabeth by not killing Julian, which means that he would have to ascertain that the Guardians pose no threat to her. It all depends on what the Guardians intend to do. If they try to kill him, thus denying him a life with Elizabeth, he might still be tempted to kill Julian. Perhaps it would be best if it appeared that Rom initiated the attack without Jeremy's knowledge, so that he has no reason to be angry with Jeremy. Then he would probably do what's best for Elizabeth, without any need for revenge.

But I suppose that this will be answered in the next chapter. I can hardly wait.

BTW, I read the "Veela Enigma" you mentioned. Wonderful story. Good plot, good sex, good love and even a convincing way of making Harry and Draco forget all those years of animosity. Thanks for the tip. :-)

Still pumping out excellent chapters Dean!

I only hope that Jeremy did *not* actually give away his chance to turn Julian. I'm still not sure that I *really* trust Rom, either, somehow. This is all very interesting!

Whee, love it! And you're a horrible, evil, mean old man for making everyone wait like this. Cliffhangers make children cry. *nods*

Cheers!

Chapter 24 is now available...

omg great !! i can't wait to read the next chapter got me hanging on the edge of my seat here.. keep up the great work!!

Great update! I love stories that keep me guessing. Keep up the good work

Not pathetic in the least. I have at least 15-20 current fics up at all times on my computer, and I check for updates on all of them a few times a day. That's pathetic.

I have a horrible, bad, evil addiction to LVHP fics. It's absolutely horrible and there's no chance it'd ever happen in cannon, but I really, truly love fics where Tom is really possessive of Harry. I dunno.

Edited by author 01-07-2007 06:30 PM
Eh. Somehow I never get tired of the Veela fics...I think my favorite (and probably the most "different") Veela fic is "Icarus Rising"...

All of the multichapter ones on that site are good. Even the ones that don't sound good. I know. I've read all of them. Now you see the extent of my dependency...pathetic eh?

H/D is such a popular pairing because they are both archetypes from opposite ends. Light/Dark, elitist/egalitarian, Gryffindor/Slytherin (which summarizes a hell of a lot)...plus being on opposite sides of the war, everything is against them having a relationship. Being enemies at school makes everything ten times better. In the end, the H/D pairing is about love being transcendent. Once you've considered the ramifications of those two...well, any other pairing is kind of...pedestrian.

Oh, and Dark Harry is great as long as Draco turns Light to keep the contrast going...

Well point out any Harry stories you find good. I wouldn't mind reading them ;0)�D;
 �D;
Jase ;0)�D;
 �D;
 �D;
.
< replied-to message removed by QT >

Veela fics can kick so much ass, but once you've read a couple of them, they start to get boring. I really like stories that aren't run of the mill, so I'm getting more and more picky about what I read. I'm sure it's a horrible habit, but I can't seem to shake it.

Do you have a preference for Light! or Dark!Harry?

  Hi all; I just signed up, after I finished reading ch. 23 of SS a little while ago. Wanted to be up-to-daate before I plopped into the discussion.
  And at first, I was REALLY confused, until I spotted 'Hermione' (notable clue, there), and figgered out who 'D' was a little later. And here I expected story discussion, lol.
  But anyway, I've read some of the Potter-verse fanfic on Nifty, although I can't quite figger out why H/D is such a popular pairing. It really mystifies me, at least in the context of the strict story-universe. Part of that is, I think, due to D hanging out with Crabbe and Goyle, especially when D has more brains than the two of those dimbulbs put together. Which raises the further question of who paid off/blackmailed/bribed who to get C & G into Hogwarts, anyway? But that's probably off-topic.

Edited by author 01-06-2007 06:11 PM
The best ones are listed/linked at http://www.freewebs.com/darkestmagic/

And honestly...I'm too fixated on the H/D pairing to tolerate alternative pairings. If H ends up with anyone else I get insanely jealous on D's behalf and sit there hoping they break up or that this upstart gets killed or turns out to be a DE so H can get on with getting with D. And vica versa. Grrrrrr. Lol.

I suppose Seamus/Dean, Ron/Hermione, Remus/Sirius or Snape are natural pairings...strictly in the background of the primary H/D pairing, of course. Strongly prefer not to hear too much about Snape's sex life though, please.

I especially like Veela fics (and others that involve some sort of magical bond)...you'll actually see some of that influence at the end of this book and in the sequel, actually...

Jase, you can find all of those on fanfiction.net, if I recall correctly. Except "Veela Enigma". You can find that http://archive.skyehawke.com/story.php?no=7142 <-- there.

Dean, what other pairings do you like? (Sorry if I'm jumping in head first, but I get excited about Harry Potter fans)

the question still being.. where do you find these. They seem interesting and I am always looking for more reads ;0)

The bit about the invader of the melding of the minds...there were several prophecies the program found that were applicable to Julian. Rom mentioned the ones that would be most obviously relevant (because he was talking to Jeremey, who is a skeptic). You won't see this particular prophecy making any sense in THIS book, hint hint hint...

As for my favorite H/D fics...hmm..."On the Last Day of Our World", "Veela Enigma", "Forbidden", "Per Solum Lacuna", "Saving Draco Malfoy"...several more...honestly the addiction's gone on too long to really name a favorite with any accuracy, lol.

Edited by author 01-05-2007 01:52 PM
Well. I've gotten into the habit of reviewing fics after I read up to the most current point, so here I am. And... yeah, I have to say WOOHOO!

And you're a bastard for leaving it right there. Sort of. Only I love you so much for writing this. Woot!

So... write more!

Cheers!

<edit> By the way... this is supposed to be a positive review, in case I came off as an ass. </edit>

Ugh... been mentally dead (or something like) for the last couple months... come back, and the story's almost done?

Dean, good to hear that there's a likely sequel, and better to see that the story's developing very nicely (and that all the ends are getting tucked back in as it goes, too ^^).

As for mine... I need to dig out the manuscript and see what I can do now... I burned out, and since I can't write at work (like I'd wanted to) I dunno about timeframes... but we'll see, hm? ^^

Dean you are amazing!

Ack! Evil! Cliffie! I hope for a new chapter...

And finally! Jeremy admits his love for Julian. Excuse me as I go have another joygasm...

*coughs* Oh the joys of being a high school student. I have it worse because I've got exams in about 3/4 weeks. -_-'

Edited by author 01-01-2007 04:38 PM
I can't wait until chapter 23 is accessible. But I don't understand the part about "But...this... invader of the melding of the minds?" (chapter 22) - I can't find anything about it in the prophecies. Has that program found more prophecies of importance that we don't know about yet?

By the way, I had a relapse into Harry/Draco slash just because you mentioned it (/m97) :-) What's your favourite story in that genre?

Sorry for the delay over Christmas.

I've posted Chapter 22, and Chapter 23 has been emailed to Nifty (and can take up to 24 hours to get updated to the archive).

Sorry I missed wishing you a Merry Christmas, Dean, but Happy Holidays anyway!

When you set out to write a story, you certainly don't disappoint. This latest chapter sustains the quality of the others, and you're still managing to throw in interesting surprises. I can't wait to see what else you've got in store!

You all really do know how to make a fellow feel old, talking about finals. Thanks God I haven't had to take any of those for a FEW years.. hehe. If I would have found stories like this when I was in university, It might have taken me longer to graduate! This is a great story, and you are taking it at a good pace. Thanks for all your hard work, and good luck to all of you that are taking finals. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Well...for this story we're aware of three Elders...David, Denna (his twin sister), and Rom. They'll be the only ones to show up (possibly there will be others in sequels, etc.). David is around because he "made" Jeremey, Denna is his twin and attachment, and Rom is around because he's working on investigating and countering the autonoid phenomenon.

On the number of immortals...remember these aren't vampires...they don't feed on people obviously. As it is, there do seem a lot of them. In Boston, there is one immortal for every 2000 mortals (approximately). This is an unusual concentration partly because Boston and New York are central to some of the more important digital prophecies for this time period. The Guardians gather in Boston because of that. The Fallen are concentrated in New York because 1) it's a major hub of world power and they're all about manipulating the world and 2) it's the center of operations for Damion and his various nefarious plots.

The autonoids...have yet a part to play in the grand scheme of the universe. I'll just say that Damion isn't the only problem, and they're a big part of the sequel I'm planning...

*cackles* Oh the theories ^^ That was an interesting twist; ROM is an Elder... So, how many more of the Elders shall appear? Or perhaps, how many of them are there?

Oh, and back to theory of vampires... (ish) If there are so many Immortals out there, why isn't the world overpopulated with them? I understand that quite a few of the suicide eventually, but still, that's a LOT of immortals. Oh, and why are there so many of them in the first place? Certainly, hundreds of thousands of people aren't worthy of it...

And about the autonoids; will there be a cure to it? Damien is doing some pretty bad things and having all those people die makes me feel sad :( They're zombies and are an ever growing population...

And I can't wait to see some more Jeremy/Julian fluff... I shall squee girlishly when they reunite under happier terms. *coughshotkinkymakeupsexcoughs*

Very good, thoughtful, a double trojan horse might be interesting, a horse in a horse in a horse. The same for the copy sent to Rom, evan a 4th trojan just for Rom. Nothing evil, just a precaution???

The Godfather wasn't sending those messages, he was letting Julian's sensor record them. The sensor couldn't show Jeremey the interrogation while it was happening because they were in that shielded room. When Jeremey went into the shielded room...the sensor connected with him and showed him everything it had recorded.

You're right, the Godfather and the woman aren't supposed to be cut-and-dried "bad-guys". In fact the woman is a really good person. The godfather...well he's definitely not a nice person, and we'll see more of just what sort of cruelty he is guilty of in his past later. But he's not entirely evil because he obviously feels guilt about what he's done, and because of that doesn't think he deserves for her to really love him, etc. And...at the same time, he is willing to do more cruel things in order to get her love (without her having to stay with him in order to extend her life, etc.).

Love is paradox. It brings out both the best and worst in people. Notice how vicious Jeremey got when defending Julian (with the thugs in the subway, way back). And how all other considerations (secrecy, safety, etc.) became totally irrelevant whenever Julian has been in danger. When someone becomes THAT important to someone else...it's both wonderful and perilous.

Anyways...halfway through exams now. I'll be spending a little over a week without any internet connection towards the end of the month. I'll try to post right before I leave and as soon as I get back though...

Wooo, fun! <3 But why didn't Jeremy get all those messages the Godfather sent while interrogating Julian?

I'm almost tempted to think that the Godfather and his wench aren't actually bad people... Perhaps they're misunderstood. I'm tempted to think of the anime Yu Gi Oh where in the first season, Pegasus tries to bring his wife back to life through a crazy method. He wasn't evil, just desparate and heart broken.

Oh the joys of exams... I don't have to suffer those for another month, but I have a massive project due Monday worth 20% of my final mark.

I think you should have the AI build something offensive... like a Power, its about time he got one... at least i think so...:]goood luck with exams!

OMG.. nice twist in Chapter 20. I am still wondering who the Godfather is since it seems Jeremy recognized him. Keep up the good work and good luck on finals. I am almost finished with them myself.

Chapter 20 is posted

*cackles* Oh how I loved the part with Julian teasing Jeremy...

Oh, and I see that you were once a slashafist like I still am. I'm personall more of a HP/OW or HP/CD fan. <3

I'm beginning to get attached to ROM... Only slightly... I think you need a female hag-type character. (fah hags if you don't know) Too many men... Oh ya, I'm glad that you showed that Julian isn't completely harmless and can actually fight back. Now, I want to see what happens when he's got immortal powers added to his physical abilities ;)

Good story, however I am highly suspecious that Ron is the Godfather. Very slick, destroyed a impervious steel door to reveal that no one was inside. He alwaqys seems to be doing something somewhere else when action is going on. Jeremy, could TELL the godfather that he has ordered his nanites to render himself permanently sterile, with perhaps frozen sperm hidden somewhere in the world, then trade for trade, etc. The sperm could be someone elses with very special nanites. Jeremy could be manufacturing new sensers etc, at both ends.

*pouts* NooOOoOOoOoOOO!!! ....nice cliffhanger ending. Yep, definately awaiting next chapter to see how they locate Julian. Didn't they surround the area with bugs, so an escape wouldn't likely go unnoticed?

Hey Dean, just wanted to tell you I am thoroughly enjoying this story! As a fellow writer, I appreciate the excellent quality in your writing. As a scifi fantasy fan, I appreciate the concept and its execution. As a guy who loves incest stories, I appreciate the whole thing and can't wait for Jeremy to wake up and give Julian what they both want/need ;-) You've got a great balance going between the action line and developing the characters that clearly showcases your writing talent at all times.

This is one of only five stories I keep the icon on my desktop for, and you can take that as a very good compliment and endorsement. Good luck with your exams and I eagerly await the next chapter.

Ummm, you're probably thinking, "Who the hell is he?" Well, I write Tutoring Jerry, high school section on Nifty, RCWP, Superdrewby and Best of Nifty.

Hmm...yeah a description of a fight sequence isn't nearly so pretty as when there are proper stuntment to demonstrate...

As for the virus...if you'll recall, Jeremey has already done something like this for Julian several chapters back. BUT...no need for it to spread all over the place to locate him...it just has to reach ONE immortal (who knows where Julian is being kept) to work...

The other immortals seem to be unaware of what the Godfather guy is up to. He's concealed his tracks pretty well - Jeremey only became aware of the autonoids because two of them tried to kidnap Julian in broad daylight. And Rom has been trying to track down the Godfather from long before Jeremey was turned.

You're right though, there is still the option of going to the Brotherhood of Guardians as they would definitely be interested in this, but Jeremey is still wary of being forced to join, etc. At this point Jeremey is starting to realize just how powerful an ally Rom is though, so I don't think he's going to run to the Brotherhood.

All the other characters we've met still have a part to play though.

Hey Dean;I've been reading your story for a while. great work. I also know how a story can start writing itself. I've got one story I post that went fron four chapters to twelve, just by what the characters were doing. As to suggestions...
I don't know how deeply you want the Essen nano's to be able to engineer a virus, but the idea of spreading a simple cold that turns into a harmless outbreak of measles when Julian's DNA is encountered, sounds like a way to locate him. Unfortunately it would probably take a week to do so. You might have to break down and find more of the immortals who HATE the Godfather guy. Could be quite a lot since he's started making those autonoids.
Immortals would probably really hate another immortal for stealing so many mortals. Uninfected , mortals are up for grabs in regards to canon fodder. Infected, and you have to constantly check for a mortal being clean.

Anyway, Good Luck with Exams and...

Keep Writing.

dymondbolt

Hey Dean

You’ve done it again!

I loved this chapter, though I have to admit that during the fight sequence I started to gloss over the action till I got back to the meat of the story.

Good luck with your exams, and thanks again for supplying us with some great reading.

Rob

Exams suck, even if you are a soon-to-be lawyer... hehehe
Good story though! Looking forward to the next chapter!

i love this story... ahhh. you should write a book, id buy it.

Edited by author 12-02-2006 07:47 PM
Well, fortunately I did manage to post Chapter 19...it's now showing on the main nifty site (not any of the mirrors so far).

But...you're really just trading one cliffhanger for another, haha! But that's how I keep you all suitably desperate for more while I'm slowed down, lol.

Exam season...*shudder*

I'm already there, so I sympathize. Best of luck! Doesn't it figure that exams would start up at a cliffhanger?

Edited by author 12-01-2006 11:17 AM
Hey thanks for the additional comments. A few things...

1. Julian is the younger brother I never had, too. So I don't plan on deserting him. ;)

2. Wow, since Harry Potter?...I am VERY flattered!!! (recovering HP/DM slash addict here...)

3. I do have a plan for what's going to happen, as far as an ending point. This is a big expansion on a much shorter (hetero) novella I wrote, I've already got the ending chapter pretty much written - I've just added a lot more complexity to the plot so the in-between is having to be rewritten.

4. Just a warning. I am approaching exam season. So...I intend this to be my stress-relief valve (well...one of them) as I hunker down in my cave with my law books for 3 weeks. Still...the chapters might be a bit slower or shorter during December. Please be patient though, I'm not going to abandon this.

5. I have been entertaining thoughts of a sequel. The ending of this book definitely leaves room for one.

Hey, having a pestering and supportive fanbase has helped authors to keep going in the past. With any luck it'll work for Dean too. *wink*

You know, I'd forgotten about Elena's amplifying trick. Maybe I should go back and reread the early parts of the story again...

This is a great story. If done correctly, this could easily be my best literary experience since Harry Potter, and that is saying something. However, I share pauls fear that the series might end due to lack of interest or that lack of a grand plan might cause the series to slowly disappear into nothingness. Normally I wouldn't care, but this story is so good that I really want it to continue being good. Make sure that you have a plan for the story, and clearly define how you want it to end. That will help the story develop towards that goal. And when you reach the point where you planned an ending, end the story. And start writing a sequel. (I do want the story to continue indefinitely :) Just make sure that you have a plan for each book in the series; you could even start thinking about a sequel right now - J. K. Rowling had the seventh book planned when she started writing the first, which IMHO has contributed greatly to her success. (You can of course revise the plan as you go, just make sure that you do have a plan.)

Dean, your response gave me a warm fuzzy feeling, lol. First, its clear you have a great mental picture and development of the characters. Second, you've sold me that its not yet time for Julian to become immortal himself. I think what I fear, as it is with most series, at some point the series abruptly stops because the author loses interest. I keep wanting certain key events to occur before that happens. OK... I'm sounding overly negative here. What I'm trying to say is that, it sounds like you have no preconceived ending or waning interest. I'll be glad to see it continue as long as possible. *flamboyantly threatening* Just make sure julian is taken care of, he's the brother i never had.... okay now I'm just being silly ;)

love the storie and can't wait for the next chapter.. hope it is soooon

:o)

Just started reading this story this evening and now 4 hours later I can hardly wait for the next chapter. Excellent concept for a story and hope it continues for a long time ... When I have had time to digest the story I hope to post more and ask questions LOL Great job Dean

Wow I wanted feedback and I got it, thanks ppl...okay a few issues raised...

The Bite: To be honest I hadn't actually thought of it as an infection so much as just a strange new behavior for Julian which will develop later. The Esseren make Jeremey impervious to any sort of infection.

Crowd Control: Excellent idea Matt. Maybe the high-frequency idea tied in with the ampflying trick he learned from Elena?

Julian's Infection: The problem is that the autonoid-caretakers are already dug in at a vital part of Julian's brain/spine. It's a seige. Jeremey's caretakers could probably overwhelm them via sheer numbers but then there's the risk of destroying something vital. So they're fighting a war of attrition, just keeping the enemies from working at the speed they're supposed to until they eventually wear out and die off.

Immortal Julian: Despite being lovey-dovey with Julian, Jeremey is still deep-inside thinking of himself as heterosexual. Still thinking of it as something he'll do when he marries that special girl, etc. Making his brother his life-mate isn't likely to occur to him until he's fully realized and accepted that that is what he actually wants. Also that's a really big step for Jeremey to take. Way bigger than marriage since he only gets one shot at it and they'd have a REALLY long life together. And he's already seen an example (the godfather) of what it means to make the wrong choice in a lifemate when you only get one shot at it.

Self-metamophasis: Um, pouch in his rectum? And self-enhancements for sex? Er...okay I suppose the first could work but then Jeremey would be even more self-conscious about all that. And...the idea makes me a bit squeamish to be honest. Self-enhancements...I really don't think Jeremey needs them. He's already exactly what Julian wants and well-endowed and all that. The problem is that Jeremey isn't ready to give Julian what he wants at this point.

The original Guardians: They are leaving Jeremey alone for a while, waiting for him to come back on his own (as the old lady explained on the plane). They've lost track of them now that they're in hiding, but they'll have their part to play later on.

Vanity is fine, and I'll do my part to feed it. This series is fantastic, I can't go a day or two without checking for an update. I agree with John, he's got to realize he can make Julian immortal, especially since it's the entire reason that this other guy is interested in Jeremy. Also, what of the original immortals that inducted Jeremy and that encounter in the subway? The number of components to the plot and the depth is great, and sometimes I forget it's just a story.... after all I have only wanted these same abilities since I was a kid myself ;)

Great stuff! Amazing writing, since the first chapter I read about 4 weeks ago I've been hooked. You're really an awesome writer. I read the first 15 chapters in 3 hours, now its taken me a month to read the follow-ups -
story line suggestions: earlier you mentioned Rom had augmented his "manliness" - how about Jeremy doing the same, I mean if Julian really wants it in every which way, I guess Jeremy should have the tools to do it (and then some more...!)
Cant wait for the next episode!

I'm still shaking. Wow, adrenalins pumping. Can't wait for the next chapter. Why couldn't The KID make a pouch in the rectum to disgorge the constructs in a more pleasing way. Wouldn't have to be dirty if done right. You know a gun or two with silencers could go a long way to disposing of the automatons. Also a new ingestion of loaded cum every 3 hours might help overcum the evil growing inside. (Vox = Swedish vodka). It would be OK if the sex was more graphic, I don't think it would detract from the story. This is GOOD stuff.

Hey, I promised you I'd post and now I have!!

I have to say I agree with John, when IS Jeremy going to realise he can make Julian immortal?? When will someone suggest it??? You do realise that if they don't live happily ever after I'll have to grot you? And cry lots.

To be honest (not sure if I've told you this) I was a bit uncomfortable when I started reading the story because, u know, incest n all that, but I've been completely sucked in! I'm HOOKED!!

Post again soon chick! :-)

Edited by author 11-23-2006 06:55 AM
It was a heart-pounding chapter -- I still have a bit of adrenalin rush. I too was concerned about the bite but not completely sure that the Kid would recognize and stop anything. After all, there is more than one reason he's the Kid...

In a related matter, it's not clear why (especially with Rom's input) the devices introduced into Julian via the sexual encounters with Jeremy are not farther ahead of stopping the autonoid process.

One final question (and I'm not trying to push towards this eventuality): when is Jeremey going to realize that he could make Julian immortal?

Thanks for a delectable story, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Hey, Dean, I just thought I'd pop in to say this chapter is definitely a good one. The action (both kinds) sizzled, and I really like the way you chose to remind us that Julian isn't exactly helpless on his own.

Since you welcomed suggestions, here's one possible idea: I've been thinking that Jeremy (or Rom or whoever) needs some kind of crowd control beyond brute force. Maybe The Kid could find some way to modify his vocal chords so that he can produce a frequency/pitch that disrupts the sensors in the inner ear that maintain equilibrium? A bit of nausea and the perception that the world just turned into a roller-coaster does wonders to slow opponents down.

When you brought up the bite that Julian gave Jeremy, I started to worry that the invader Esseren in Julian were trying to infect Jeremy. But then I realized Jeremy's AI would have (hopefully) realized that he was being infected.

On a side note, this is an excellent Thanksgiving present.

Chapter 18 posted.

Really enjoyed your story up to and including chapter 17. You have my wrapped up completely in the story. I can't wait until the next chapter.

Fweeee <3333 Twas very hot and kinky. And also very creatively done to...

Yay for dominant ukes! (For those who don't know what I'm talking about, uke = bottom) After finding a bit too much of -insert penis into slot A and thrust-, it's refreshing to see something more creative.

I can't wait to see how this progresses more <3

Just read chapter 17, Just wanted to say great chapter.

Just posted chapter 17. Slightly short but hot scene in it...

Fluuuuuuuuuuux.... Bad day *points down*

*coughs* Thanks, it's worse now... I currently envy those people who read over a complete story in a couple days as it'll prevent such things from happening.

Enough of the complaining... Yes, you also caused me to feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Jeremy is admitting his love for Julian and it's verrrrry pretty. H/C (hurt/comfort) anyone?

You write at a good pace. It wouldn't be logical to assume that Jeremy will suddenly fall madly in love with Julian (and besides, the waiting is good... In the long run...)

I actually missed a chapter (scary, yes I know) and actually thought you had neglected your writing :(

Well, I now must go off and find something of lesser quality to remove a certain issue. *sighs* I hate drudgery.

I read 1-14 yesterday myself, and finished through 16 today. I really enjoy the story line. You've got a great set of characters, too. I agree with the others that you've got me hooked, too.

Keep up the good work Dean! I can't hardly wait for each new chapter. Thanks.

FireZealot, thanks for the encouragement. Yes nifty is the only place you can get the story at this point. Apparently the new editing software I used for Chapter 16 put in some tags that Nifty can't handle, so I just reposted it using the tedious old software. So...it should be up by tomorrow. Sorry about that.

About the Caretakers. Good point. Let me scramble to imagine how it must have been done and explain. Ah, got it. This was a (mortal) military containment vial used to hold biological weapons. To keep those sorts of viruses flourishing, the inside of the vial was an artificial biological environment of some kind. Circulating blood, etc. So the Caretakers couldn't detect they weren't outside a human body.

Also the immortal who created those caretakers was very advanced. Although the Core programming can't be altered, such an immortal might be able to alter the caretakers to make them less likely to figure out they were in an artificial container.

How's that?

Edited by author 11-03-2006 08:52 AM
Ok. . .a few questions.
1) Is nifty the only place you have this story, 2) or am I going to have to wait for nifty to update for chapter 16?

3)If caretakers can't survive outside of the body very long, how did they survive in that antidote vial? Or were they 'specialized' to have a longer lifespan. . . or was Julian raped while Jeremy was gone? Or are these questions plot-spoilers, and will be answered in chapters ahead?

Oh, by the way. . . I thought ya might be interested in http://elfwood.lysator.liu.se/farp/writing.html, a fantasy/sci-fi writing tutorial place made by amateur writers. Good stuff there. I'm not saying that you NEED it. I'm just saying that when I was into writing, I wanted all the inspiration and help that I could get. I personally like the "Creating Fantasy and Science Fiction Worlds" tutorial series. :)

Edited by author 11-03-2006 08:27 AM
Can't wait till it uploads... Not able to see it yet.

But yeah, consider me a captive audience to the story you so well put together. I started reading from chapter 1 last night, and finished 14 and 15 this morning. Ya have me hooked. It's just awesome. Usually porno, even in story-form, doesn't have a good story. . .once ya take out the erotic scenes, it is no longer a story. . .but yours combines the two beautifully. Thanks for a good read that I'll be checking for updates rather regularly from now on. :)

I've posted Chapter 16

�D;
Hey Dean�D;
 �D;
It seemed to me that Julian was looking for a captive audience. He had to get this off his chest and didn\t want any interruptions and if the past is any indication this was the only way to achieve that end. The thing that upset Jeremey was not the message it was his own reaction to it.�D; �D;
Great job by the way. I\m looking forward to see how he handles it.�D; �D;
Rob �D;
 �D;
 �D;
 �D;
--�D;
No virus found in this incoming message.�D;
Checked by AVG Free Edition.�D;
Version: 7.1.408 / Virus Database: 268.13.11/493 - Release Date: 10/23/2006�D; �D;
.
< replied-to message removed by QT >

Edited by author 10-24-2006 07:53 PM
Well said Mychyl. Jeremey already said he'd be the one to provide the Caretakers for Julian on a regular basis, blowjobs and all. He was very firm about it too, if you recall. The alternative (Rom) upset him. This isnt a breach of trust like it would be otherwise.

What Julian did without permission was not the sexual stuff itself but using the sex as an expressive means of communicating how he felt. Instead of just "servicing" Jeremey as he was expected to do. He had permission to touch Jeremey that way - he wasn't raping him. It was expected (and looked forward to). The actual physical stuff Julian did was...a pleasant surprise for Jeremey.

The "heavy" thing that caused all the turmoil wasn't that stuff at all. It was the meaning behind it. The verbal confession it took the place of.

Obviously, having sex with someone while they are sleeping is the wrong way to tell them that you love them. Under normal circumstances. But...if you "normally" have "just sex" with someone (say a fuckbuddy) and are allowed to touch them while they sleep...then an emotional lovemaking session (as opposed to the purely physical passion normal to such a pairing) might very well be a way to confess that things have gone a bit farther than just sex for you.

I disagree totally, for various reasons.

First off, Jeremey willingly consented to the initial actions, and to the fact that the sex (or, at the least, blowjobs) will be an ongoing thing... say, 2x a day for the next couple of years, minimum. Even though Jeremey wasn't in control of his body, there's no break of intellectual consent... and while legally Jeremey couldn't consent this time, intellectually he had done so, and certainly there was no point of "Oh Gods, please don't let him want to screw around now".

Second, in regards emotion... Jeremey *does* love Julian... and while the intimate love is new to their relationship, the fraternal love is an integral part of their dynamic, since Jeremey all but raised Julian. They've been close for years prior to the beginning of the story... so thinking of him/loving him is a byword. Conversely, Jeremey is angry... but at the situation, not at his brother. Sure, there's moments of anger... you actually *see* that... but nothing out of the expected, nothing logic-defying.

well, i dun really like how the story is going. if i was the one in Jeremey's position, i would definitely vent all my anger on Julian, instead of thinking of him or even loving him. i might even consider the things that Julian did as raping.

Well, just my opinion.

I've posted Chapter 15.

Lol. Jealous and possessive is only a small jump from protective. Remember his violent reaction to the hoodlums cracking lewd jokes about Julian in the subway station...

Yup, I meant mischivious ^^; I keep on thinking evil as "Dr. Evil" type evil where it's highly amusing.

Yay! Jeremy/Julian interraction! Now, there just needs to be an excuse for the deflowering... *luffs the thickening plot* Jeremy is getting jealous and posessive!

Perhaps that spelling error could be useful? Dom/Rom anyone?

Sorry Dean, I made a deal out of a typo, it is just that I don't want to miss anything in the story. Thank you for your quick response.

Not Dom. Rom. It was a typo on that first sentence, sorry. Rom is the boy who helped them out the first time the autonoids tried to kidnap Julian. They meet him properly in Chapter 13.

Where did I miss it? Who is Dom? I went back to 13 and didn't see anything about Dom. Go ahead tell me I am clueless.

Rom, on the other hand, *is* evil. Oprah? *shudders*

And I have to agree, The Kid is definitely mischevious... but now that the backdrop's set for Julian (and, presumably, The Kid) to be getting what THEY want for quite some time... I think The Kid is gonna have less reason to manipulate the situation. And by the time the puppetmaster Caretakers (as I've started to call them) are neutralized and/or destroyed in Julian, it'll be almost routine for them to screw around.

Poor Rom, though... he needs a friend his apparent age. :P

Just right Mychyl. The AI is definitely not evil. Though I think Brolem may have meant evil as in mischevious...? The Kid definitely wants the best for Jeremey, it's in his core programming. He may have thought a bit more about what would be good for Jeremey than Jeremey has though...

I've posted Chapter 14. A little conversation with Rom explains the Guardian/AI relationship from the perspective of a more advanced immortal...

Brolem: I don't think The Kid's becoming "evil", per se... he's just developing a very individual sense of id, and of personality... and like any two strong personalities, his and Jeremey's are clashing from time to time. Especially since The Kid's agenda, in many cases, does run a lot closer to Julian's than to Jeremey's, much to Jeremey's apparent chagrin. (He'll get over it, methinks. :P)

I love the story. Keep up the good work Dean.

Wh00t! The Forbidden Brotherly Love is coming to fruitation!

The AI is becoming more and more evil by the chapter <3 Can't wait until Jeremy starts having REAL feelings towards his little brother... Of course, being so stubborn, he'd deny it for a good period of time.

Hmmm, I'm reminded of Interview With the Vampire. Rom reminds me greatly of Claudia as he's perpetually stuck in the body of a child...

Nice use of needles.. Loved the chapter, keep it up!

Edited by author 10-03-2006 07:22 PM
Dean, I just read the 13th chapter and I am ready for 14. The first place I look when I go to Nifty is to see if there is new chapter of Symbiota sapiens. I can't wait for "brotherly love".

Chapter 13 is posted

Lovely story! I can't wait for the next one to come out. :)

I'm still loving the story. The part I'm wondering about is why this "godfather" immortal would be making idle threats. That doesn't seem to fit. I mean, really.... He goes through all the trouble to set up Jeremey to make his demands, then just lets him escape not having secured his brother? That doesn't sound right. Was I the only one screaming at Jeremey to X-ray his brother, and not just the cop and the guy in the airport?

Hmm, more like the AI is getting better and better at simulating a real boy...and is reflecting the behavior that that real boy would have if he were stuck being an AI. Haha...

Hmm...yeah always got to be careful about letting Jeremey's abilities get out of hand. But...I mean...when he's actually going up against mortals he's going to be playing way over their head, of course. Notice he's still off-balance when it comes to other immortals...the mysterious godfather/puppetmaster now knows where he is, assuming he can track a taxi cab from the airport...

<3 Loved the chapter...

That's an interesting concept; the AI want's to become a REAL BOY! =P

...In Jeremy's mind... Who can say "evil, plotting genius planning on getting the brothers together?" ^^ -le cheerful-

Just be careful... I'm beginning to pick up a strong odor of GOD MODE-ER! Jeremy could potentially become too godly for his own good...

No worries about the late post, I say. Your plot is making up for it.

Speaking of plot... I wonder if the kid from the accident really *doesn't* have an agenda? ;P

I've now posted Chapter 12. Sorry so late everybody...had a rather exciting weekend...

Chapter 3 of LCoA is up!

*puts back up the "Out to Lunch" sign and eagerly awaits Dean's update*

Great story! :) I'm addicted!

forgive my very bad spelling

your avrig computer has the intalect of a 3rd grader or a 3 year old i can't remember which any way its all in how it uses the iffo it has and the spead and the fact that it can multi tase better then we can

ya like so much pudding skin it thikens and by the way dirty pool old man what with the dubble jeperdy you should have given the two at fighting chance.

*cackles* And the plot thickens...

The Godfather: I now have your brother, himself. Come look and see; he's spread eagle and has a baseball bat aimed directly at his anus. If you do not wish for him to die a painful and virginity destroying death, you shall commit fell acts of the forbidden brotherly love.

*coughs* And my sense of humour ensures.

Alas, I'm a terribly lazy writer and rarely (if ever) write.

Gee, I wonder how Jeremy is going to get out of this sticky (pun intended) situation...

Hi Everyone�D;
 �D;
I contacted Nifty about this problem and this was what the archivist told me �D;
 �D;
< Nifty experienced a disk crash on Sunday and the effects still are �D; being corrected.>�D;
 �D;
Rob�D;
 �D;
 �D;
--�D;
No virus found in this incoming message.�D;
Checked by AVG Free Edition.�D;
Version: 7.1.405 / Virus Database: 268.12.5/450 - Release Date: 9/18/2006�D; �D;
.
< replied-to message removed by QT >

Dean, I think they were doing a mass mirror-update recently, because yesterday the same thing was happening to the main site, but it came back after a couple minutes. (And while the mirrors show the damage longer, I have no doubt they'll be back soon enough as well.) However, I agree, the main page is also the first place updated, so... any updates are found there within an hour of being published, instead of 24+ hours later.

BTW, chapter 2 of LCoA has been submitted (as of a few minutes ago). So I wouldn't doubt if it's up by dawn on the main site. (And yes, since Damien's "broken", as you put it, his story is gonna take a significantly different turn. Instead of trying to stay with someone near and dear... he'll be getting a handle on the immortal-training first. Like I said before, different angles and all that jazz. ^_~)

If anyone is having trouble getting to the story...I've noticed a lot of the mirrors appear to be down or have had parts of their archives lost. The story appears to be intact at http://www.nifty.org/nifty/gay/sf-fantasy/symbiota-sapiens/ however.

Yea, the new information does change things a bit... though I think "attaching" him to Chris would work nicely. I have one thought process, however... wouldn't it be possible, under this concept, for an "attached" Guardian to continue with one of their own? I mean, your description is that the Esseren give one chance to each Guardian/immortal to create one of their own.

As an aside, while Tyler was the love interest of Frozen... and TJ was a lust-interest... I think it would do Damien well to move away from Ukiah altogether. And having his story develop without the mortal-love angle will allow for me to explore a different side of the Esseren and such, not to mention letting both our stories have legs of their own to stand on. (And if we both have the heart and patience to draw this series out for a long time, having two separate tangents to explore will keep us from stealing each others' ideas. ;P)

Well, time to work on chapter 2. I'll update this post once I've got it posted. (Since I'm just a tele-CS grunt, I've got more time to play with. I think I'll spend a lot of it wishing your professors away from heavy workloads. ^_~)

Edited by author 09-19-2006 11:29 AM
Hey Mychyl, just read your first chapter. Looks like Damien is a bit more jaded and "broken" than my characters, should make for a good dark story. I'm already curious as to whether he'll end up going to find Tyler, OR if this new guy who enters at the end is "attached" to him (having watched him for years waiting for his moment, a la Comicality's Taryn/Justin pairing)...should be interesting...

I think you should make sure to read my Chapter 11 (just posted it last night) as soon as possible, some very important revelations come out as to the structure of the Guardians, recent immortal history (which already means your story needs to occur parallel to mine instead of before it - unless Damien has been "attached" as I suggested), and most importantly some big information on how new immortals are made.

Edited by author 09-19-2006 12:12 AM
Oops! Duh, stupid me... I'll blame it on making my creativity put the "Out To Lunch" sign in storage, I guess.

Anywho, here it is. (And since I now have direct permission, the song'll be in chapter 2. Which I can get to work on. Probably can nail it down tomorrow.)

Edited by author 09-18-2006 12:32 AM
Just an update. Had parties this weekend in addition to homework so I'm only halfway through the next chapter. The good news is I have two 3-hour gaps between classes tomorrow so I should be able to finish and post.

Mychyl, post a link on here, I'll reference it in my next installment. And no I don't mind you using the Guardian Song. That sort of helps tie the stories together.

Okay...running on half-lidded eyes here...bed...sleep...yesss...

Well, it's official. My first chapter is up and running.

By the by, Dean, I'm gonna need to kidnap the Guardian Song. Full credit and such will ensue. (I'd ask you, but you're not online. ^_~)

On the subject of a prequel, I do have a few ideas, but my writing ability would seem kindegarden in comparition to what I've been reading. I actually started an immortal story a couple years back and got through a couple chapters before life pulled me back into its talloned grip. Of course I never published it. Thanks for listening for ideas and not rejecting them off hand.

Actually, I could do that. I could very well do that.

I can't guarantee *how* prequel I'd go... I don't do as well with older timelines... but, perhaps, slightly alternate timelines... perhaps cities more on my coast, write what you know and all...

Hm. This bears merit.

Thanks Mychyl I couldn't have answered that question better myself. I'll just add that the AI would probably have already figured out some pretty advanced chemistry concepts just from the repair work he had to do on Jeremey's body. BUT he didn't know what chemical composition would be in the wine (so he looked it up, to see if there could be a bad interaction with the anti-pheremone). So he wasn't downloading Chemistry 101 texts, he was looking up the molecular structure of alcohol.

Oh, and I have no problem with minors (as long as they aren't trying to convince me to sleep with them). I was one six short years ago and I definitely remember what it's like to not be taken seriously by adults. Arrrgh! Don't get me started. Just go read Ender's Game (in between my installments, of course).

I'll keep some of the hypodermic needles and stuff in mind. More as a weapon tho. Jeremey couldnt exactly "stick" Julian without him noticing and wondering what that was for (and Julian isn't supposed to know about the virus).

Hey, if you wanna write a spinoff I'm all for it! And I'd definitely read it, that'd actually help me build a richer underground culture (with legends, history, etc.) than just trying to make it up off the top of my head. As long it's set BEFORE Symbiota Sapiens. Maybe this is a bit of a spoiler but I plan for Jeremey and Julian to be the sort that would definitely be in any FUTURE immortal/Guardian history books, lol...and nobody but me knows exactly what for...

Edited by author 09-11-2006 03:28 PM
Eh, not so terribly weird, Brolem... I got a later start, but I started writing (off and on, alas) before I was 18, not to mention reading avidly. (Hence why my under-18 policy is more "get caught, I know nothing" than "tsk! go away" like most authors. I'm still young enough to remember that 15-17 (and younger) doesn't mean incapable of rational thought, like some of the writers I've seen. (NO! I don't mean this fine author. :P)

Thunder, you have to keep in mind the plot device... his AI is almost like a regular computer. You get it out of the box, and it's got lots of memory and processing capability... but it only comes with what's pre-loaded, and that's nothing in its case, aside from some basic protocols (and the manual, of course). If "The Kid" were to spend an hour or so on the Internet, he'd absorb all that knowledge... and remember, anything Jeremy saw, learned, picked up, or even glanced at and didn't care or couldn't understand... "The Kid" gets all that data. So infinite knowledge is out the window... but a little time and careful searching, and he could well *approach* infinity. :P

PS: Still enjoying the story, and it's making my mind work on similar situations... as soon as I've got time to kill, I might well start writing one or three. (Or Hel, I could take paper to work... it's not like I do anything productive there, and 8 hours of sitting around could get me an entire story.)

PPS: I second the previous emotion... may the Powers That Be (TM) decide to take it moderately easy on you, so you can keep updating. We don't want to miss out on our weekly dose of Symbiota. (I might have to cry if we do. And you don't want to see me cry. Blubbering mess and all that fun.)

As I'm reading this story, which is excellent by the way, I realize that it would be soo much easier for the AI to put hypodermic needle(s) in Jeremy's finger tip(s). These could be used for, I don't know, Poison, nerve toxins, nanite parts, any number of goodies.. 'Course it would take out the need for the "incest with a younger brother" angle, and hence some of the fun reading, but it might further the story line.

On another note, how infinite is this computer? He didn't even know about chemistry! A serious lack of knowledge. With enough knowledge, you can gain wisdom. I have several thought on increasing the capacity of the AI computer. All this is extremely interesting. I'm loving the thought provoking ideas it's challenging me with.

Can't wait to see how it all "comes" out.

Good luck with those dusty books, and I hope the "ones that assign work" are considerate to US..

haha, actually notice the AI is very carefully refraining from actually suggesting this. there've been plenty of hints though...

Ooooh... I must be the weird one ^^; I discovered Nifty when I was 13 *blushes* Didn't start frequenting it a lot until I was 15 though...

Yes, I'm a very, very naughty boy and deserves to get spanked and spanked well. Then tied up and then comes to oral sex! *snerk* (Attempted Monty Python quote)

I'm amused by the AI. I can see it rubbing it's fingers together saying, "Excellent." in a creepy voice... Hmmm, angst time... Jeremy is concerned for Julian and suddenly notices how vulnerable his brother is... In that paled over and unconcious state, Julian resembles a fallen angel. Blah blah blah, emotional stuff, confused emotions, PLOTTING OF THE AI! and Jeremy going into denial...

I love how the AI suggested to go make passionate love with Julian for the "benefits" for both of them. Jeremy get's a very easy way on getting off and Julian recieves lots of health benefits... Makes PERFECT sense. *snerk*

hmm...well to be honest my idea of porn was the lingerie section of the sears magazine and the mens underwear aisle at walmart. but the point is...i made a point to look at it whenever i could, lol.

Good point, Dean. I at least managed to wait until I was fourteen...but that was more due to lack of opportunity than lack of inclination.

hmm...but how do you know the AI hasn't gotten into some kind of porn already? I mean...he IS trying to model his personality after that of a 13 year old boy...i dunno about you all but when i was thirteen years old...lol

i love this story...period :)

I think I love you now <3

Oh the melodrama! Oh the angst! *cackles* Can't wait to see what happens now between the two lovely brothers. -insert random fangirls screaming about "The Forbidden Brotherly Love."-

What a lovely chapter, the goals of the STV (virus) was accomplished and there was much amusing conflict. I wonder how much longer it will be until Jeremy's senses go berserk and he ends up deflowering his younger brother... Yes, that's a very, very nice thought actually. *cackles*

The constant masterbation had so little effect, Jeremy must get laid. But in an apartment without anyone except for his brother, what could he do? Suddenly, Julian comes out of the shower and into the bedroom where Jeremy sat. Hormones suddenly took over Jeremy'd body and when Julian got to his bed, he was tackled and had his flimsy towel around his waist removed. And then there was much kinky FBL (Forbidden Brotherly Love) followed by guilt, angst, fighting, and more passionate love making.

*coughs* Erm yes... My mind wandered a bit too much...

I hope the AI goes to find some porn and stuff... That would be amusing, turning the AI into a porno search engine.

Hey that chapter 9 is cool too. I'm ready for chapter 10!!!!!!! grin.

Hi, I just finished reading chapter 8. Yeah I know I'm behind. This is a great story. You have done a great job with the characters too. very believable. I will keep reading it and give you more feed back as I go along. I'm glad you aren't going to kill either one of them. Keep up the good work.
Your friend Darryl

Woo! Excellent story, and glad to have run across this one. It's rare that you find anything decent on Nifty, alas... and even rarer is it something rising above the PWP sludge. (Don't get me wrong... I love my sweat-drenched-super-detailed-gripping-the-sheets sex scenes as much as the next. I also like there to be something BESIDES that, though. And this is a *good* storyline.)

I am dearly wishing to see more of this story... alas that I'll now be settling into the update routine. But, perhaps with a little time, I'll get back to writing and not miss the days in between as desperately. :P

Edited by author 08-24-2006 11:58 AM
Okay...without revealing too much plot, remember from Chapter 7 (I think) that the Esseren core programming only allows them to construct things inside their assigned host. That's why Jeremey has to go to all the trouble to build a biological virus to put in Julian. So...there's more to this but that's all I can say without revealing plot elements.

Erm...I'm familiar with the Borg from Star Trek, used to watch TNG reruns all the time when I was in grade school. Don't really recall any nanoprobes, maybe that comes out in Voyager? Nanites have been a pet concept of mine ever since I read a lot of Ben Bova's books like Moonwar and The Precipice, etc.

The bros have to get separated at some point...otherwise all these fancy tracking beacons and trojan horse viruses would go to waste, lol! I'll try to keep them alive though. If for no other reason than that one dying would really screw up the sex, lol.

The immortals aren't going to try to kill/capture Jeremey alone because there is something specific they want his cooperation for. That's why they're after Julian, because when Jeremey ran away with him he showed he'd do anything for Julian.

Am I correct that the idea of Esseren comes from the Borg nanoprobes known to human kind from the series of Star Trek? There they used them to accomplice assimilation process of the victim into Collective.

Actually, I really like your approach - both the plot and the sexuality. I've got just one big favour to ask - don't let the bros be seperated or killed! ;-) They're too cute for that...

What else? Oh, yes... I tend to agree with the guys that the AI should have a little more space to move, to decide. Yes, he (maybe "it") is loyal but I don't know, in some cases the AI should be given opportunity to act on his own accord. And I can already see all kinds of interesting developments that might come out of that (angry Jeremy because the AI does something he is not agreed with etc).

What I have also thought is that right now the immortals are trying to kidnap Julian but why don't you take a look at the opportunity to let someone be interested killing/kidnapping Jeremy? I know, the immortals are supposed to "guide" the human kind, so, perhaps, some plots can develop from there... ;-)

Anyway, the story is really fantastic and I hope you'll have time and energy to write more, more and more... :-)

Greetings from Estonia!

*cackles* Oh, I am SO amused. Julian + AI = plotting!

I think the AI should suggest Julian to go seduce Jeremy... Or perhaps the AI tries to pull down those moral barriers around Jeremy?

Haha, mental image; threesome between Jeremy, Julian, and the AI. Kinky, no?

I agree with Braun1, why doesn't Jeremy make Julian into an immortal? It would solve a lot of problems. -_-' Oh ya.. And then it would get rid of a lot of the fun and conflict... *squees* Oh the sexual tension! <3

Hi, Just wanted to say I love this story. Very inventive and imaginative. I re-read the beginning and I just have to ask the obvious question. Jeremey has these Esseren and they can do all these wonderful things, including the virus that will put all this data into Julian's body. Have I completely missed something, or is there a reason that Jeremey couldn't just convert Julian to have the same abilities? I mean, if the AI can figure all this other techno-science stuff out, why not that? Please don't feel you need to answer if it gives away any plot, but if I've missed something, Let me know.

I know just how much work these stories take and I really appreciate all of your efforts. Oh, and thanks for making both the main characters so hot. LOL. Loved the shower scene. Nice to know that the superman has at least one thing that is a wonderful weakness. I hope the pleasure isn't too overwealming. And the requirement of at least once a day...brilliant. :-)

Oh. 200 pages, really? That's um...impressive. Lol.

Now let's not get ahead of ourselves on the kink factor in this story, though. I promise the characters aren't going to stay celibate forever. But I don't think they're quite ready to give it up yet. Not even close...Jeremey still has the heebie-jeebies about even the idea of man sex, much less wild-upside-down-monkey-sex-deflowering-his-younger-brother-costarring-a-choice-selection-of-fresh-vegetables at this point.

But you WILL get to see a bit more of how the AI operates in Chapter 8 (which I just posted), when he talks to both brothers. There's even a hint of...er, nevermind. Lol. Just read closely. Haha.

*bows* More or less happens when I'm hyper/insane/horny/excited ^^ I'm busy being a little flamer. (Online only)

Some of us young'uns are quite frightening with the influence of Hentai and the likes... I hang around mobs of females who's minds congeal as they squeal when they see two guys making out. (I join in with the mob and am just as vocal) Ah, I just love how females have an outlet for their lust now... We can now say that it's not only the guys who are perverts. (Which I still strongly believe... There are days when I want to shout out to the sky how I've given up on guys)

*coughs* I've been reading Nifty since I was 13 *blushes* Let's just leave it at that, neh? (Not that far from not being a minor though) I'm quite experienced when it comes to writing sex scenes and my friend calls me the kinky one when we write together. I'm the one who suggests all the weird situations, couplings,and the likes. (Incest, twincest, threesomes, foursomes, sixsomes, tent sex, lake sex, role playing, drug induced rape, insanity induced rape, desparate island sex, partial master/slave sex (roles) come bath (how erotica writers spell it) angel sex, asleep sex, dream sex... Ya, I've written too many sex scenes...)

Let's just say that I've got over 200 pages worth of sex scenes and leave it at that, neh? (There's absolutely no way I'd post any of it on Nifty though... Too many perverted old men out to molest poor, innocent, minors... Ewww! Old creepy men! =P)

My dear shrinksies says that I have a dry, witty, sarcastic, and sometimes over the top, sense of humour. I made the author of the Geography Club crack a smile through my writing. *nods and holds up the trophy*

Ah yes... I highly suggest throwing some kink into the story. The AI tries to get the brothers together for it would make Jeremy more effecient... And how long until the deflowering of Julian! I'll mark it down on my calendar!

Oh wow, you're really fun to read Brolem - you should start a blog or something! I didn't quit smiling through that whole post, lol.

Edited by author 08-22-2006 01:55 AM
*squees* Oh my gosh! That's like... So hot! <33333

I'm amused, oh so very amused... *snerk*

I like the plot... Vaguely reminds me of a kinky version of those superhero comics where the superhero keeps on having to rescue his love interest.

Hehe, there is such a high kink factor! I can SO see Jeremy doing stuff to his little brother to "prolong his life an vitality" *snerks*

Oh, and I just love that idea of the "oral transfer" of the virus... Actually, I think it would be far more interesting if it was caught like an STD.
Julian: Um... I think I have an STD
Jeremy: Ya... About that... It's actually a virus.
Julian: Well, that doesn't make me feel any better.

Yes, yes! Go for the angst! I loooooove angst! <3 Oh, and I can SO see the angst factor right now. Jeremy finds out that Julian is in love with him. *cackles* Oh the possibilities!

Let's just say that I'm left in a rather uncomfortable position... But I enjoy it! <3 I love stories that are enjoyable to read and leave you terribly uncomfortable. And then they finally allow in a little lemon and it's so much more intense then if it was fairly early on before there is much plot developement. *coughs* ^^; My mind is a gutter. (But who's isn't?)

Behold! My late night insanity for I'm actually not female as so many people assume due to my extremely feminine writing style and insane antics! (Although I do have hags that I love to bits. <3) I shall claim the prestigious spot of youngest reader here! =P

EDIT!: And I think the AI should try to get them together. *nods*

Edited by author 08-21-2006 04:49 PM
In response to Eddie's comment. A bit of a science lecture. Well, pretend science. Or whatever you want to call it.

As the AI mentioned (drawing off of the info in the manual) there ARE some benefits to a mortal having sex with a Guardian (or immortal). They don't get special abilities or anything like that, though.

The lower-level nanobots present in sperm perform a temporary job of rejuvenating the entire body, cleaning out blood vessels, repairing tissues, reversing some of the effects of age. Someone who regularly had sex with an immortal could theoretically retain their youthful health indefinitely (as long as they keep getting those influxes of 'housecleaning' nanobots). And if they get pregnant those nanobots will enhance the embryos genes and supervise the pregnancy.

They don't get their own Esseren, though.

Yes I'm having a great deal of fun trying to decide how far the AI's simulated "personality" should take him. Does "Young Julian" have his own agenda (well...he's utterly loyal but maybe he has his own ideas of what's 'best' for Jeremey...)? Haven't decided this so far.

How the completed virus will be put into Julian's body is in a lot of ways a crucial question I still haven't fully decided on yet, lol. Technically, I think it could be put on his skin and absorbed that way, (after all, that's how Jeremey was able to take in the sperm cells at the end of CH7) or rubbed in a scratch. But the 'oral method' opens up sexual possibilities...and would lay a foundation for some complicated angst about what are the true motivations behind the act, once Julian eventually finds out the truth about the virus, etc.

Dunno. We'll just have to see what the characters decide to do. I'm just the author.

This story is excellent. The last chapter put's a whole new meaning to the phrase, "cybersex". As "Johnny" says in a previous post, it does put a scary emphasis on the 'future' of computers. It must be quite brill though, to have your very own super AI, quite frightening though when you realize that all your probable enemies also have one.....Just a thought, in the final paragraph's of chap. 7, won't Jeremy have to ingest it for his AI to have access to it?

I love this story! This is excellent. I'd love to see the brother get some of Jeremy's abilities after their eventual joining.

Great series, especially the AI. Can't wait for the next chapter!

Love the AI. He's something else. Kind of scary when you think about the future of computers. Keep up the story. I check for updates every day. BTW: Isn't the next logical step for the brothers to form a sexual union?

im checkign twice a day, this is good on the edge stuff, keep it up. :D

I gotta say, I love this story. I check every day to see if there's a new update. Keep up the good work. :D

The other day I got an email from a reader suggesting a discussion board for those who'd like to talk about Symbiota Sapiens with myself and with each other.

I have to say that sounds like a great idea as I love feedback, and would like to talk about the story with readers so I can better guage how to continue the plot.

So please, feel free to post!

Pretty Dean