Ola,

     I have been so busy and under the weather too. My husband travels so the show cannot stop for me during the week. I have been just sacrificing my ME time to go to bed extra early so I can keep going the next day. I did get the housecleaning done and what was not done I apologized for, but she had no idea how busy I am until she actually saw it for herself. I can tell people, but until they spend a day with us or two then they really see. My son has football and soccer on Saturday so she really got an eye full. He is better now though. My 7 month old is the same when it comes to the housework. She wants to be held all the time. She is crawling now and pulling up. So she occupies herself with toys on the floor for a bit. But she is also teething, working on her 5th and 6th. So she nurses a lot more for comfort. I need Grace and wisdom of God especially at the times she gnaws on me for comfort. It would be so easy to just stop nursing. It does hurt, but I know she is in pain as well and she does not mean to hurt me. I pray everyday for patience and guidance. You are so right, this is one difficult job. How much should our pay be you think? $100,000 US.
    Why are you so tired? Is it just the daily chores and kids or something else? I have a friend who is sick and it keeps her tired. I mentioned I have been going to bed around 7:30. Maybe because I am sort of weak right now partially sick and all.
   I was wondering how you found Mommytoo. What were you doing a search for? I think I had just visited Mocha Moms and found it. I can't remember actually.
    Weight loss...my most depressing topic. My husband says I look fine. But I know what I used to look like. I am back to my size after my second child. I was trying to walk. I don't like to take them out in this cold weather though, even wrapped up well. Aerobic exercise is key though. Dieting has shown little results for me either. Pilates sounds like it could be interesting and fun.
     I am eagerly anticipating the elections this year. It feels like Christmas with all the campaign ads going into overtime this weekend. School is out Tuesday, it just feels bigger this year. Here they may elect George Allen again, but he seems openly racist to me and with all the wrongs Republicans have done it seems only right to have a purging. Then we have a black guy running in Maryland and it will be interesting to see if black people vote Republican just to be voting Black. I can't wait. I try to talk about world events with my son. He is very interested in people with uniforms soldiers, police and firemen. He has lots of questions about why the soldiers are still fighting the bad guys. Why can't they just go get them and come back home. That is a tough one. Good night to you Ola, my kindred sister.

Hey Kindred Sis!
I've been trying to figure out why I'm so tired. I
think it's cause I'm usually sleep-deprived on an
almost daily basis. My baby wakes up once or twice
daily and I'm unable to go back to sleep.

Today is election day. I found the news about Harold
Ford jnr's race quite unbelievable with the neg ads
from the Republicans and the sexual undertones, when
they are the ones revealed to be hypocritical
pedophiles and closet-gay evangelicals. I think it is
sad that the country is so partisan when we should
actually vote on issues. As for the black Republican,
good luck to him because that party uses blacks and
then spits them out.....a la Powell.

How did I find the site? I was actually dying to talk
to someone my first month as a sahm. I don't really
have close friends here cause they are back home and
it's difficult to maintain those kinds of frienships
being on different continents. Anyway, I found your
site and thought it would be a good way to connect
with other Moms. And here we are! I wonder about the
other ladies though.... like why they stopped
communicating etc but as u know I'm working on not
over analyzing stuff so I have let that go.

My hubby is at a conference this week, he seldom
attends them, like once each quarter, so I totally
relate with you this week.

Your son is adorable. I think he is at that stage of
discovery where they so want to feel accomplished....
i hear this age is akin to what kids go through as
teens. Well gotta run, baby needs to eat.

  

--- QT - Jamila <qtopic+36-t8t2caqJt3i@quicktopic.com>
wrote:

>
>




 
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< replied-to message removed by QT >

This is deep, so take your time.* *
>
> Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ?...
> Lord ... Why did you make me black?**
> Why did you make someone**
> the world would hold back?* *
> Black is the color of dirty clothes,**
> of grimy hands and feet...
> Black is the color of darkness,
> of tired beaten streets...* *
> Why did you give me thick lips,
> a broad nose and kinky hair?
> Why did you create someone* *
> who receives the hated stare?*
>
> *
> Black is the color of the bruised eye
> when someone gets hurt...
> Black is the color of darkness,
> black is the color of dirt.
>
> Why is my bone structure so thick,
> my hips and cheeks so high?
> Why are my eyes brown,
> and not the color of the sky?
>
> Why do people think I'm useless?
> How come I feel so used?
> Why do people see my skin
> and think I should be abused?
>
> Lord, I just don't understand...
> What is it about my skin?
> Why is it some people want to hate me
> and not know the person within?
>
> Black is what people are "Labeled"
> when others want to keep them away...
> Black is the color of shadows cast...
> Black is the end of the day.
>
> Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
> and you know this just ain't right...
> They don't like my hair, they don't like my
> skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!
>
> Lord, don't you think
> it's time to make a change?
> Why don't you redo creation
> and make everyone the same?* *
>
> GOD's Reply:* *
> Why did I make you black?
> Why did I make you black?
>
> I made you in the color of coal
> from which beautiful diamonds are formed...
> I made you in the color of oil,
> the black gold which keeps people warm.
>
> Your color is the same as the rich dark soil
> that grows the food you need...
> Your color is the same as the black stallion and
> panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!
>
> All colors of the heavenly rainbow
> can be found throughout every nation...
> When all these colors are blended,
> you become my greatest creation!
>
> Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
> such a beautiful creature is he...
> I am the shepherd who watches them,**
> I will ALWAYS watch over thee!**
>
> You are the color of the midnight sky,
> I put star glitter in your eyes...
> There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
> That's why your cheeks are so high!
>
> You are the color of dark clouds
> from the hurricanes I create in September...
> I made your lips so full and thick,
> so when you kiss...they will remember!
>
> Your stature is strong,
> your bone structure thick to withstand the
> burden of time...
> The reflection you see in the mirror,
> that image that looks back,..that is MINE!
>
> So get off your knees,
> look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
> I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
> I made you in the image of ME!*


 
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I read that the day you put it up. It is deep. I love the two sided manner in which it is written and the passion with which it overflows.

     I have been sooo busy and tired getting ready for Thanksgiving and all. Plus, my 7 month old is teething and she is restless most nights.


     I finally took a big step in my business. I called my Uncle to ask for help as my artist. I have been struggling with calling him for weeks. I don't know why, it is one of the easiest things in the world for most. It is however, my biggest obstacle. Picking up the phone and keeping in touch with people.

     How have you been? I have been thinking of working a job. My husband's company is hiring for a position that seems like I could do well. But I just tried to think of sacrificing the things I am doing at home with them and putting them in daycare and even though the extra money would be nice, it just doesn't seem worth the time lost to traffic and the work day. Plus, coming home and having work still to do which subtracs from the quality time they receive. No thnks, not right now anyway.

Hello All,

I'm new to the group and wanted to say hi. I'm a SAHM in Houston, TX. I'd love to keep in touch with everyone.

I look forward to your response(s).

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I am glad the cooking is over, my feet hurt so bad, but seeing everyone together and happy was great.

How was you alls Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving was great but busy as usual. Hope
everyone is doing well. Happy Holidays!
--- QT - Jamila <qtopic+36-t8t2caqJt3i@quicktopic.com>
wrote:

>
>



 
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Welcome BlessedMind. Glad to hear from you.

Ola, I am glad to hear you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We are preparing to have our first Christmas away from home. We will travel to my father's house this year.

What toys are on your list this year to ask Santa to bring your children. All the mass produced over advertised toys make me want to puke. They are lovely for a week at the most and then they are discarded to the bottom of the toy box. I really want "thinking" toys. Any thoughts? My son is 5 and my girls are 2 and 8 months.

Hi Jamila,

How are you and yours? Santa is going to have an
easier time this year at our house. I usually get my
girls 3 things each and the rest come from their
cousins. This year, cause we'll be at my sister's in
Dubai, I got only one toy each and will shop for the
rest when I get there.I usually get 2 educational toys
and one that could be any toy they have on the
tippy-top of the list. Their cousins usually get them
toys.

For my 3 1/2 year old I got the Fisher Price Little
people time-to-learn preschool. The one I got teaches
numbers, shapes and colors. They have one that teaches
the alphabet too. She needs some reinforcement and
would be acting as the teacher which I know she'll
love. My baby is getting a toy Elmo phone.

My 8 year old will be getting the Q20 game. You try to
stump it by answering more questions than it can. She
wants a cell-phone because some classmates have them
(what's up with that at 8) but I have gently told her
that Santa does not think she needs that. She has a
toy one and it'll have to do till she is 12.

Well, nice to hear from you again. Had houseguests (my
hubby's cousin from home) over the Thanksgiving
holiday and am just recovering from performing the
hostess role.

Talk to you later!
Ola
--- QT - Jamila <qtopic+36-t8t2caqJt3i@quicktopic.com>
wrote:

>
>








 
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< replied-to message removed by QT >

Edited by author 12-05-2006 11:08 PM
Ola,

     Mine are doing well. I hope yours are in good health as well. The Christmas concert my son's school put on was pure comedy and so emotional for me. He rang the mess out of some jingle bells tonight, you hear me!! But he look like such a big boy up there :( Where did the time go.

     I bought some toys for my daughter's 2 nd birthday from Hearthsong and next thing you know I am receiving a mailbox full of catalogs from kid toy stores I have never heard of before. I do like one a lot though, Mindwareonline. Google it, some great brainy toys. I even recently saw in one of my plethora of catalogs Cat in the Hat in Latin. I took Latin in High School and college and would love to start preparing my kindergartner for the SATs (just joking, but the thought has crossed my mind!!) Hey, Dora teaches Spanish!!! I am with you on keeping the number of toys limited.
     How is the weight loss going for the trip? You still at it or back to the drawing board?

     Question: How fly can you get in the morning before taking the kids to school and housework begins? I mean I am not as fly as I used to be (I thought I looked good before babies). Now, I have the "MOM" look. I get three people ready before pancakes and sausage on a daily basis not to mention the housework and yardwork. I don't get as fly as the ladies on some of the housecleaning commercials. I think to myself where is she going after she scrubs that floor, because she seems dressed in some crisp khakis. I am just bothered because some comments where made about my frumpiness from my sister. I don't wear skin tight jeans and 4 inch hills to the grocery store anymore sorry. Just venting.

I was just thinking of a small part in your message and some of my demons that torture me from time to time. Ola, you said you told your doaughter "gently" that Santa didn't think the cell was a good idea.

     I speak gently with my children as often as I can, but the truth is I do sometimes yell at them. I was semi abused as a child. I mean it seemed regular to me so I am not sure. I never had any broken bones, just "good old fashioned whoopings". I can identify where it may have broken my spirit in ways and made undue modifications in my personality that I struggle with still as an adult. I try not to pass these issues on to my children, but I do yell sometimes. I realize I must look like a monster to my angels when I do it. But they don't always do things correctly even after having been told what seems to be 100 times. Plus, when you are with them all day and night as a SAHM it is totally believable that you will get to your wits end at times, usually the end of the day for me. I recognize that and celebrate bedtime. Even bedtime is hard with the baby teething and nursing though. I am not complaining at all. I just wonder, does being a super mom mean being perfect ALL the time or just admitting you are a work in progress. Just venting again.

Dear, dear Jamila,

First and foremost I need to tell you that I did not
mean to condemn you in any way when I wrote that. The
reason it came out is because when I find things
incredulous in the past, my reaction is veryyyy
dramatic, hence my needing to tone my response to her
down. An area I struggle with too is yelling at
everyone in my life when I was growing up and
sometimes now. My Dad actually gave me the nickname
"daughter of Zebede" (sp) after the Bible's story of
the son's of Zebede who asked Jesus to rain down fire
on a city. Now I'm much better by the grace of God
and it is only by His grace that I've come this far. I
still have moments of frustration especially with my
31/2 year old who at this age is so independent and
willful it is not even funny. The 8 yr old is more
mature so it is easier to communicate with her.

I listened to Dr. Robin on xm last month and she
talked about watching your tone with your kids etc.
For days I felt condemned about the times I end up
yelling at my girls. This went on for days and I even
contacted Dr. Robin to ask the question (but ended up
asking another question). Anyway I missed that
opportunity, but one night while listening to Joyce
Meyer she talked about the need to sometimes raise our
voice with children to show a different level of
seriousness. I admit I sometimes do it out of
frustration but I am very aware of those times.

It is only by being open with our girlfriends, fellow
Moms, sisters etc that we grow in this journey called
life. I was sexually and physically abused as a child
and I know what that can do to one's spirit and soul.
I think I'll stop now because this is becoming an
epistle but I have never met anyone who reminds me so
much of myself even before knowing them for any length
of time. I hope I have not scared you away from
communicating further with me.
Take good care!





 
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Edited by author 12-06-2006 03:00 PM
Hi again Jamila, I don't know why I did not get your prior mail about the Christmas show....I just visited the site and saw it. I definitely have been looking frumpy since staying home with the kids and leaving the corporate world and I don't need to have anyone tell me. Wonder why your sis felt a need to say that.

 I think it is more difficult when you have a baby, I smell like milk most of the time with the baby spit-ups etc. I looked at my daughter (the baby) last night and thought of how blessed she and her sisters are. This is a huge sacrifice we are making for our kids and I high-five you on that. We will get to look all glammy and tight at another time....now we are doing the best we can for our families and it is well worth everything!

The weightloss is going well. I have 5 more inches to lose off my waist according to Dr. Oz on Oprah's show.

Hi Jamila,
I did some thinking and have decided to unsubscribe from the message board. It dawned on me while rereading your message that you were saying I was portraying myself as a "supermom". This must be an area you may need to address for yourself. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Ola.

Ola,

     Your last message totally threw me for a loop. Then again it did not. I understand what happened...you over analyzed my "super mom" thing!!! I know because I know I do the same thing. I was not even taking it as you condeming me though :) I was speaking along the lines that I had mentioned early on about some in my family thinking I do not spank/whoop my children enough and them thinking speaking gently or using time outs is a joke. These were the demons I struggle with. Then you read some of these mags that you get free in the mail (ie. Parents, American Baby and they seem not to even raise their voice let alone a hand to a child and think that anyone who has the thought to do so may need some help professionally.)

You say:
     I think I'll stop now because this is becoming an
epistle but I have never met anyone who reminds me so
much of myself even before knowing them for any length
of time. I hope I have not scared you away from
communicating further with me.

We were beginning to grow together and normally one may say, "Well, whatever...if Ola wants to be all like THAT!" LOL But, why run from a good beginning of a friendship Kindred Sister over a miscommunication? I thought you said I could vent. Now you are the one adopting not to communicate any further. I am really confused now Ola.