Edited by author 08-17-2006 10:34 PM
I have been a stay at home mother for the past 5 years off and on. I did return to work before I was surprised with our latest addition. I don't know which is harder working all day with grown ups or being home all day with three people under 5 years of age!! I do know which is more rewarding by far. I want to know how people are managing the finances though. My husband makes a nice salary, but he works long and hard. Somethings that are important are still escaping my budget though ie. life insurance (outside of the work plan), savings, real vacations and significant college prepping. How are you guys doing it??

We were also surprised in August of last year. My 3rd daughter was born in april so I quit my full-time job to stay home for 2 yrs starting last month. It has been difficult coping with my 8 and 3 yrs old gals as well as caring for the baby but I have no regrets about my decision. The 8yr old starts school in Sept so it should be less crazy.

My spouse too has a good job but we have had to be more frugal. I take a list when grocery shopping and stick to it. No more handbags or shoes off the cuff, I avoid window shopping to stop temptation. We are putting our house on the market to move closer to my hubby's job so hopefully we will make a profit after selling.

I have never had to worry about finances so my peace of mind is somtimes shaken.

I have been home since June of 2005. I worked with my son and I stopped working at the end of the school year when I was 8 months pregnant with my daughter. I use to teach high school. I never dreamed of being a stay-at-home mom but I have come to really enjoy the time with my kids and my husband. We have made a lot of cutbacks. I use to have a high paying job and we never had to worry about finances but things have changed but I try to focus on what he have instead of what we don't have. It gets frustrating sometimes. We have eliminated pretty much everything except our necessities. We don't eat out and I cook primarily from scratch and shop and meal plan based on the weekly sales ads. I use my cell phone for long distance and I took all the extras off of my home phone. I tutor kids in the evening to make extra money. It is tough sometimes but my family is healthy and happy. When I start to get a little crazy I try to take a mom break. Tonight I am going to a hotel alone to realax and reenergize myself. I also joined Mocha Moms and I love the support I get from the other moms.

VoIP phone usage has drastically cut my phone bill. I did not see myself as a stay at home mom before either. I am ambitious and independent, this role requires those traits as well, but it is a surprising twist I agree. I believe my children benefit from me being home. I can't get away when it gets crazy though, my 5 month old is still nursing. My kids are 5,2, and 5 months. I had one miscarriage between the 1st and 2nd, so I feel like I have been pregnant for ever. All 3 babies nursed for two years. I just weaned my two year old (co-nursing is spectacular feat I must say and I am proud of myself for it :))

I have wanted to join a Mocha Moms, but the nearest one to me is about 40 minutes away.

I know the sacrafices have to be made, the other realization I have come to is that I have to have something I can work on from home to supplement my husband's income for the things I have cut, that can't not remain cut. If only he would sacrifice his golf game!!!

Hi Jamila, you are so funny. Cutting the golf game is
not in the equation...my hubby's hobby is football and
here comes football season again! I try to watch for a
while then find something else to do.

Congrats on breastfeeding for so long. I have never
breast-fed for more than 3 months cause my breasts
just dry up like the dead sea. Doctor says it is
hormonal. I have a 7 1/2, 3 and 5month old. How many
cc's does your baby eat and is he/she sleeping through
the night? My baby wakes up 2 times at least.

What are your ideas about supplementing your income at
home?

Well baby is ready to eat so talk to u later.

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I am a stay at home mom of four children. I love it and I have made a new site with saving tips and poems for mom games for kids and more check it out www.abuckisabuck.com Enjoy! Also don't forget to check out the sibling rivalry page.

I am a stay at home mome of a 3 yr boy, a 2yr. girl and a 6 mos boy. I find it difficult because of the loneliness factor. Although I am currenlty finishing up my Master's degree, I do miss the interaction with other adults. The Mocha Moms nearest to me contains mostly working moms, and those with children my age who stay home have put them in school full or part time. Many of the moms that I used to know have gone back to work. It get difficult some times! I am glad that I have found this board for the support.

Hi MochaMama,
Thanks fo your honesty. I have been dealing with the
issue of loneliness too especially because I was in
the corporate world till last month.

It has been a blessing to be able to stay home with my
kids but sometimes I need a little more stimulation
than wiggles, Dora and Diego!

What are you getting your masters in? Goodluck with
it.



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Hello Ladies, I am so glad everyone is writing in. I have been in a rough place for awhile and I am finally making my way out. I think about going back to work sometimes but I really like the time with my kids. Besides Mocha Moms I joined a moms group at a local church. They actually offer daycare during our bible study and volunteers from the church watch the kids. I just started last week so I'll let you know how it goes. I do miss the social interaction. My working friends think all I do is sit at home and watch Oprah and Dr. Phil. But I work so hard everyday. I am glad you ladies are here to talk to. We can keep each other company. Well let me get to sleep and I will talk to ya'll soon.

Hi Ladies!

I just discovered this wonderful site. I am a new mom. We just recently adopted a beautiful baby girl. She is a joy, and I always planned to be a SAHM, but I am still adjusting to this new lifestyle (we've had our daughter for 8 weeks now). Our daughter is 10 weeks old. Unfortunatley the closest chapter of Mocha Moms, no longer exists. Teh next closest chapter meets well over 1.5 hours away. Many of my friends do not understand why I would give up my career to stay home with my baby, and they indicate that I must watch TV all day! Being a SAHM is the most diffcult, yet rewarding job I have ever had.

I am so glad everybody is sharing. I don't feel so alone anymore. I had a great time at my moms group yesterday. They are all SAHMs and it is good to share our challenges. We are reading the book The Power of a Positive Mom and I really like it. Well let me go and I will talk to you all soon. Take care.

Hello Ola and hello to All!!


     I have not checked this forum for awhile but I am so glad I did tonight. I found out about Myspace. I thought it was all for teeny boppers. I have had people from high school (in columbus, ohio) and college (Howard) find me and say wow you are a mom now!!! We all had our wild days in the past. I am also one of the most surprised that I am a natural nurturer and Mother (a great mom I think). So I have had some surprising friendship re-sprout from there. I can see how the lonely thing can happen. The cartoons are really catchy songs and some even have the funny jokes (I like Wonder Pets and Backyardigans). But I must confess, I am so introverted. I accept this social defiency and I am okay with it. I only seldomly want company. I like people I like. I don't like nosy neighbors. Maybe I just need to get out more and then I could get through all the people I may not want to hang out with to find the one or two people I could hang out with. Plus, it seems hard to make friends with other African American women. I wish it were not that way. But that is alot of the vibe I get when I am entertaining the thought of striking up conversation and possibly a friendship. Why are we like that with each other? Or is that just my own negative energy I am pushing out into the universe coming back to me? I am friendly don't get me wrong. I don't know. I just over analyze EVERYTHING. My mother used to say, "You too damn smart for your own good."

     I have been trying to start a clothing line for ethnic babies. That is my idea to transition from SAHM to WAHM. But being a SAHM is full time too. I don't have time to learn to sew. I don't want to take time away from the babies and trying to do it with them is very stressful and I don't like to be short with them or irritable. If I am to be a SAHM I have to do it fully. I will have to wait until the babies can go to part time school to start something or stay up late at night to put in some work. But I know it will work out as long as I listen to God and follow the path he sets before me.

Gnite Ladies and Very Nice to Meet Ya!!

Ladies,


     What would be a marketable memorable name significant for ethnic (African American)babies clothing line?? I was thnking something catchy like MochaMoms.

Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

Ola,

     I am not sure how much my baby girl eats. It is just on demand. She is a little piggy though. She would prefer we just cuddle all day and have her every opportunity to nurse whenever she gets the notion. I just moved her out of the infant carrier. I want an ethnic supermarket cart cover. Something with cute little brown baby girls with pink bows. This is a weird stage, because she is in between actually sitting up well (with all confidence) and the carseat carrier is too small. I have a sling carrier so I use that when I shop for now, but I am exhausted after grocery shopping and carrying her then loading and unloading. I look like Supermom to the unsuspecting though!!

Hey Jamila,
So nice to hear from you. I totally feel you re: the
difficulty making friends with other A-A women. See
all the crazy talk about Oprah and Gayle, one could
only pray for a friendship like that. I don't believe
the nonsense talk that they are gay. It is more
difficult to make friends as adults cos our defenses
are up and we may have been burned or disappointed one
too many times.

 I am African so it makes it 2ce as hard to even
connect.....so much distrust, it's a whole different
story. That is my own reason for being a little
introverted, believe me I can talk up a storm online
with a stranger, but it takes a while to warm up in
person.

RE:
What would be a marketable memorable name
> significant for
> ethnic (African American)babies clothing line?? I
> was thnking
> something catchy like MochaMoms.
>
> Any ideas are greatly appreciated.

I am not really imaginative with names but I thought
of KenteKids, kente is an african fabric but does it
mean all the baby clothes would be in kente? ok scrap
that idea. Hope you are able to make it happen cos
there is definitely a niche in the market.

Let us know when you decide on a name.

Sincerely,
Ola.








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Hey Ladies,

I am starting to go stir crazy. I LOVE being home with our three month old daughter. However, I would like to get out more with her and meet other moms and babies. The closest Mocha Moms chapter is more than 45 minutes away from my home. I live in a fairly remote area. As a result, I am even having trouble finding predominately white support groups for stay-at-home moms, let alone groups that are multicultural or predominately African American. I so desperately want to meet some other moms like me. Of course all of my friends are working during the day. I heard of another group called BEAMoms (Black Educated At Home Moms). Does anyone know anything about this group and where its chapters are located?

Edited by author 10-17-2006 08:53 PM
Black Pearl,

  I have never heard of BEAM. I would also check your local ad paper Penny Saver or Buyer's Guide for ads on groups or outings. Would Black Educated Moms still socialize with High school grads or even drop outs? Interesting name for the group!

OLA!!!

HOLA!!

Where are you located? I won't stalk you, just wondering because I have not so long ago made friends with a Nigerian Mom. She is cool and funny. We broke the ice and still have not really hung out like I hope we can one day. I am not sure why it is harder for an African. Do you mean distrust of African Americans for some reason. My bestest friend of years is 2nd generation Sierra Leonian. I'll have to hear that story later. I really take a while to warm up in person as well.

KenteKids: I love that name!!!
 
     I have really been wrestling with this idea. I thought of Kente cloth in relation to the African experience. Yes our ancestors are from Africa, but I am sure our experiences are different. As an African American I feel disconnected because it seems like Kente cloth is for Africans. I have not educated myself on its meaning or traditional usage, but I know the knitting and the batik dying of the cloth is unique to that part of the world. Is it a dress up type of garb only? Does it stir up childhood memories when you see it? I have been asking my husband what images would best represent the African American experience. One one hand I feel disconnected from Africa, yet that is one of the only connections we have to anyplace besides the America. Our most visible images today are not acceptable and will not be something I glorify, Flavor of Love mentality from the bling to the booty. But not to many people, some but not the masses are wearing Kente cloth either. My target market would be that much smaller. I feel like this is a riddle I have to crack the code on, but I have to do it just right. Am I being over analytical??? I should just make the dag on stuff right, just throw something on there. But I can't...I am paralyzed with indecision. No, it should be significant and relevant. Help guys!!

Hey Jamila,

I live in El Dorado Hills (Northern CA & less than two hours from Tahoe)

Hi again Jamila,

I'm in California, the San Fernando Valley to be
exact. Where do I start............ I mean distrust
both ways regarding the African/African-American
experience in general. In my opinion, people seem to
have a lot of stereotypes and pre-conceived notions
that I think sometimes gets in the way of truly
getting to know one another. For example, in my grad
scool program, there were only 3 black women in my
class and for some reason we were cordial but it all
seemed superficial. I guess making friends should not
be based on the racial background of people, it's just
that there are more commonalities than differences
over all. There are bad apples in every bunch but it
seems we are sometimes nervous that the apple we've
picked is the one with a live-in worm. I also suffer
from analysis paralysis (as Joyce Meyer would say) and
I'm trying to stop it and trust in God and His word.

Re: " Is it a dress up type of garb only? Does it stir
up childhood memories when you see it?"
The African continent is so big and complex that I'm
sometimes ashamed to say I don't know or I've not
learned as much as I should. The Kente is made
primarily in Ghana. It happens to be a more familiar
or easily identified product with Africa but it is
worn mostly as a ceremonial attire in these modern
days. In Nigeria there are also other materials like
aso-oke, lace etc which are also worn for parties with
less expensive versions sewn into modern skirts and
tops. The clothes stir up memories of home, nothing
really deeper than that. Just sometimes feeling a bit
homesick when you see the different materials. (Enough
already with the lesson in tailoring!)

I was thinking more of the name "KenteKids" in
relation with the ethnic group and maybe incorporating
a strip of the material in your design e.g as trim
round the collars, the pockets or arm bands but not
to overwhelm the look of the kid's outfit. You could
use a different name and the concept could still work.


I am also trying to start my private practice now I'm
home and can be flexible with my time but am sometimes
paralyzed with the fear of failure.

Gotta run but it is always nice to hear from you!

Adios! (By the way, I get Hola Ola! a lot here in
california :)

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Edited by author 10-20-2006 09:32 PM
Hey,

You guys are in the same state at least. Probably still to far from one another. I was stationed in Monterey, CA for a little while. I would love to retire there.

     I have been trying to stop the analytical overkill as well. It evan plagues my parenting. I grew up in the inner city, but I live in a predominately white are now. I am in West Virginia, about 1.5 hours from Washington, D.C. I try to raise my kids differently than I was raised, I use time outs and try not to spank as often as I would have been spanked. My family thinks it is a joke! They laugh and say," I would have spanked that lil boy's behind, he is lucky I am not his parent." It comes out all as a joke but it is said fairly regularly, so I am sure there is more truth to it than comedy. I wonder am I doing right not raising him SO black. Then they are not getting the Urban experience and they are not as "hard" as their cousins. It is weird. It may not be such an issue with my girls, but my son is a sweetie in touch with his feelings and expressive about his emotions.

     I know the racial background is not so great for basing friendships on but the commanlities make it more comforting. Especially when parenting comes up. Then when you are in a predominately white area you really want that bond with someone like you. But you can meet a black person with just as many issues as you would encounter with a white friend. I don't know. I like talking to you guys though. We should have virutal coffee someday.

What type of work do you do Ola? You mention starting a private practice. Are you still nursing? Blackpearl how is the baby?

Good Evening everyone,

     I found a great site for perhaps inspiring some thoughts of things we may could do to start stay at home ventures. This article :
http://www.packagedfacts.com/corporate/pre...iew.asp?Article=736
is interesting, but the website archives could you give ideas for hot ideas for the future. I have plenty of ideas, but much less finance. I wish they were some mechanism where people could pool money to start ventures. Ideally is sounds possible.

Hi again Ladies,

Jamila: I am a licensed clinical social worker and my
goal is to open a practice and provide psychotherapy 2
days a week to hmo and low income patients next year.

I have never been able to breastfeed past 3 months
because I simply stop producing milk. It was a shock
when I had my first baby but after my doctor explained
why to me, with my second and third it was not as
disappointing. I reserve booty spanks for serious
issues like when my 3 yr old tries to dart across the
road. My niece ran onto the road a year ago and got
hit by a car, it is by the grace of God that she
escaped with only a broken leg.

I think it is a little harder to raise boys in this
time and day, you are giving your son a gift that
would last a lifetime i.e being in touch with his
feelings and emotions.

BlackPearl: Tahoe holds a special place in my heart
because my husband and I got married there 12 years
ago. The greenery in that place just seems totally
different from southern cali, more lush and bright.

I wish I could also attend a church women's group
like someone mentioned but I have tried in the past
and did not make any lasting frienships, I guess
'cause I had to move out of the area.

Do you guys have the link forwarded to your email
address? I did, so at the end of the day it forwards
any messages left on the blog. I hardly go to the site
itself.

Well, looking forward to a lovely weekend and wishing
you the same!

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Jamila, have you looked into the small business
administration and their loan program? Someone
mentioned it to me but it was during my pregnancy and
I was too tired and overwhelmed to get the info.



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I had not looked into the SBA as of yet. I will start looking at their programs though.

Good luck with opening your practice. My girlfriend did work similiar, I believe she travelled to peoples homes for appointments.

Is your three year old in preschool or daycare? Which school of thought do you believe on schooling? Keep them home until Kindergarten, start them early or homeschool? I have read about a lot of AA parents homeschooling now. What do you all think about homeschooling?

I am currently home with my last 2 girls. My 3 yr old
would start preschool next yr, attending 2 dys a week
.

Home school is great considering the state of some
schools these days. The only disadvantage is the lack
of socialization with other kids. My neighbour
homeschooled till her child was in 2nd grade and put
her in school cause she could not relate with other
kids. I think it is possible though, if play dates and
outings with other kids could be integrated into the
curriculum.

My 8 yr old attends a christian school. It is private
and a little costly but we want her to have those
values outside of the home as well.

I hope the other ladies share their point of views
too.

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I also send my son to a Christian school, for the better educational curriculum as well as the value system. He really loves it and educationally I am beyond pleased. I have heard the same of other homeschooled children. I think I read an article on a homeschooled child starting school some time later than 2nd grade and really had trouble adjusting socially. I do like the idea of teaching Black history to my child though. They did not much beyond Martin Luther King last year for Black History Month. I know that responsibility will be totally on me in this area. It was that way for me in high school as well, the one sidedness of History textbooks.

     I saw an article on the news about Kumon for toddler, like Prep classes for Kindergarten. I would have thought they were ridiculous if I had not had my son in preK 4 last year. They sort of expected him to already know how to do certain things, things I thought he would learn there. I mean he did not know how to sit still for 30 minutes doing dittos. He did already know how to write his name and count, but the teacher suggested (after the first week of school) that perhaps ritalin would be something to look into. We have changed schools this year, another Christian school, and the teacher says he is a joy to have. I still don't understand that one. I am not totally convinced that it was not because he was the only Black male in the class, one of three black children out of 20.

I hope others would join in to Ola. Hope you all are having a fab day, my whole crew is sick. Thus begins flu season I suppose.

Hey Ladies,
Sorry it has been so long. I have enjoyed reading all of your messages. Everyone in my house is sick and I just found out someone at my son's school had scarlet fever. So I will be praying for God to heal us all soon. I use to be a teacher and I tutor kids in the evening. I am an educator by nature. I spent a lot of time working with my son at home. He also goes to a Christian pre-school part-time. I only sent him so that he could make friends and have some fun. He really likes it but I had to move him to his teacher's afternoon class because the morning class was really below where he is academically and I did not want him to go backwards. I thought about homeschooling and I know a few people who do. I just see it as a tremendous responsibility. I have a degree in chemistry so math and science is my thing. I did well in English but I don't enjoy it as much as my science. My son is in a good school district, but it is predominately white, so I am going to be very vigilant about his progress. You have to really stay on top of those teachers. Hey Jamila, I feel the same way about teaching my kids about their history. I went to the black book store and bought a whole bunch of black heritage postcards and I put them on the wall of the playroom. Every couple of days we talk about one of the people on the wall. I also found a poster of black scientists and inventors. Jawanza Kunjufu writes great books about educating black children, especially black boys. Oh yeah Jamila watch what those teachers say about your son. I wish we could talk on the phone, Girl I could share an earful with you. Get his book, Countering the conspiracy to destroy Black Boys. But keep an eye on your son and his teacher's attitude about him. I have just seen so many promising black males end up failing school and hating it. That's why I am going to stay home permanently because I want to make sure he is successful.
  

On a lighther note: I am really enjoying my mom's group. I am the only black one but they all are so nice and welcoming to me. It's a Christian group and I enjoy their company. Well let me go and I will talk to ya'll later.

Hey Jamila,
I get so upset about how teachers label black kids,
especially little boys. Some of them would find an
excuse for why a little white boy is acting out but
for a little black boy, it is adhd. Kudo's to you for
finding another school and not succumbing to the
stereotype.

I heard the news too about the tutors for toddlers,
seems too early but some parents work so much they
can't do it. I won't consider it though, it seems like
too much pressure to me.

My 3 yr old was in preshool from 2-3 so she picked up
some social skills. I would have kept her home all
week but she is missing the school atmosphere so much
we decided to put her back 2ce a week starting in
January. She counts too (1-20), recites a-z and spells
her name but your email just alerted me to the fact
that she should be writing her name and her dad has
added writing the alphabet. She scribbles numbers. Do
you think it's too early for writing the alphabet? I'm
feeling stressed out already with the baby and may
need to work on that aspect with my 3 yr
old...........Lord help me!



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Jamila hope your kids feel better soon. Vit c is
supposed to help. Did u catch the cold too or you
managed to escape?

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This does work so much better now that I signed up for the email alerts. I don't go to the website much anymore either, the content is not so dynamic. Thanks for the tip Ola!!

    I did not escape the wrath of the virus going around. My son had been sick for about three weeks with sneezing and runny nose, but over this past weekend he had hives. Benadryll did not work, nor did Hydrocortisone. The doctor prescribed Zyrtec. My sister's like is that for heartburn, I thnk that is Zantac though :) That did the job. She says it could allergic reaction to almost anything. With the cold she says the kids will recycle the germs time and time again. I do have the chewable Vit C. They go for it as long as I sell it like, "Who wants candy?"
    Colette I ordered that book that you reference by Dr. Kunjufu. I thought it was very enlightening. It inspired my thoughts on my business as well. I was trying to figure out, when our kids begin to lose the game. When the excessive bombardment of stereotypes and few images of self overwhelm them and they succumb to believing this life is hopeless or that they are worth less than another group. They become apathetic and raise children who believe that nothing really matters and that details are irrelevant. But our children need to still believe that they can make a difference and dreaming and pretending is important because if you can think it you can be it. I want to contribute along that ideal of fantastical childhoods.
    Now that teacher, to say that after only one week of school was ludicrous. I took him to his pediatrician, she said he was fine, but she would have to evaluate him at least one year before she would diagnose him with that condition or any other child. Yes, Colette I could go on forever about that. I was pregnant during this experience as well. So you know how volatile my emotions were!! My nephew is diagnosed ADHD as well and in IPT classes, where the set him apart from his regular class in a smaller setting. I guess a nicer word for remedial classes. But he is so smart, I hope he will not become discouraged, but I can see it beginning to happen. He does have some anger issues though that can come about when he is frustrated or rejected (wrong answer or told no, etc.) But the scale to which it happens to our boys is at crisis proportions. If you have a parent who is less than somewhat involved they may just take the teachers word at face value and go with it.
     Ola, I am going to put my daughter in school next year for social skills and a more structured environment. She is in Gymnastics class now (pure comedy) but she is sad wehn we drop my son off at school. So she longs for the environment. She is counting to 20. Actually she was, before she turned two!! She is not writing though. She can say the ABC's though. She is so strong willed though. Both a good thing and the thing we need to work on with her a bit!! I don't want to break her spirit, but her energy is too raw right now :)

    I love this board. Thanks for chekcing back Colette.

Hi again Ladies,
I am agonizing over the idea to get the flu vaccine
for my kids. The last time my 3 yr old got one she was
sick as a puppy. Now with 2 young ones I don't know if
they'll both be sick. To top it all, we are going on
vacation in Dec to see my sister in dubai and we'll
stop over in London where it would be freezing. Has
anyone given their kids the vaccine yet or what has
been your experience?

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Ola,

     I did last year and I think I should do it again this year. So many of the kids we are around are so sick this season. It seems worse than last year to me. My 2 year old did fine with it last year. They ran out befroe I could schedule my son to get his though. I remember they were in short supply last season. Hopefully, it will not be the same this season. But mine have not ever been sick from the shot, maybe a lil temp, but Tylenol did the trick.

     What is Dubai like?

Thanks Jamila,
I'll take them to the flu clinic on Sat. It's better
to be safe than sorry I guess. I've never been to
Dubai. My sis and her hubby were transferred there for
his job last year and we wanted to go over the summer
but she said it is hotter than hot at that time and
Dec would be a better time.

It is more forward thinking than Saudi but still is a
moslem country with the oil wealth. How is your
weather in DC....I think it's DC right? I'm too lazy
to go check the past mails. We are having terrible
winds......santa ana's, and last year it blew the
fence over. Hope it is not as bad this year cause it
triggers allergies and other respiratory diseases.

Well, gotta run and have a nice day!

--- QuickTopic daily digest
<qtopic+36-t8t2caqJt3i@quicktopic.com> wrote:

>
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Hi Jamila and the other ladies,
I'm sitting here trying to figure out what to do for
Thanksgiving. Do you have any plans? My brother and my
husband's brother both live in the area so we usually
alternate visiting either of them each year.

I wish I could have a big gathering though, like the
one in soul food (the movie) but both sides of the
family are not really into hanging with each other.

Jamila, any over-analyzing since we've been writing on
here? I've done my share :)

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Ola,

     I have been cooking in our family for the past five years. I ovenb baked a turkey once and decided to hang it up. Since then I have been deep frying the turkey. I try to think of a theme of some sort to stick with and search for new and interesting flavors to "test" out on my unsuspecting guests (where else are they going to go I have the market cornered now!) Everyone should enjoy getting together if only for once or twice a year, it usually means they do not have to cook or clean except if they offer to help out a little. It is sad that we don't get together like they did in Soul Food. We used to in my family, but they don't live near me and my hubby's fam is semi-close (Thanksgiving only).It is taxing and I over analyze what my menu selection must say about "ME" :) But all the compliments make me feel at ease. I have been over analyzing, but I have been in the zone lately thinking about my biz. One of my other investments fell through so now I am struggling with the financial aspect. I had already had my money spent and then....You know how that goes. So plan B is being formulated. I would love to see you guys pics. Maybe we could start an account on flickr and upload a photo or too, nothing too involoved.

Night,it is movie night!

Hi J,
How does flickr work? Call me paranoid but I'm scared
of posting pics of myself and family in cyberspace. I
guess it's cos of all the recent 'my space' horror
stories. Would it be an exclusive site or anyone can
wander in? I'm also careful on this site too, in case
some shady characters just pop in as voyuers. The
horror stories in my profession don't help either,
there are some sick folks out there.

Do you want to talk more about the biz plans or you're
done? Feel free to vent as needed. Great projects
sometimes start out with a lot of hassles.

Are you working on the pregnancy weight or you're
done. It's so hard this time around for me, my
c-section really slowed me down. Gotta run!



 
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Ola,

     Flickr is an open community with pics available for everyone to see. I can see why you are weary though. I have been dealing with someone who seemingly grabbed our checkcard number out of thin air. Luckily I am not responsible for Fraudulent charges through my bank, but it is still a hassle and disconcerting.

     Baby weight, I have it and I am trying to fight it as best I can. I do not have a baby sitter and there are not any gyms with a nursery so...what do ya do? I cut the grass twice a week and I was trying to walk regularly. I found myself putting on the most weight when I eat breakfast with the kids in the morn before school. My son loves pancakes and pancakes love my hips and thighs! I substituted toast and yogurt in and have notice a little difference.
     
     My Auntie is visiting Friday from Cali and I have been trying to clean! Forget about it. I tried to start early so I would not be overwhelmed, but they all come in behind me and mess up again. I have to apologize I do not have money to hire someone to clean up and do all my laundry. I am afraid she will have to walk into my house and walk into MY LIFE as a SAHM. Sorry Auntie, it is not pretty. It goes down on a daily basis :) People would think a stay at home mome, would have an eternally clean home, because well you are at home all day are you not? Let me qualify, A SAHM with more than one child will find it difficult. One was EASY. You can not clean all day and say you doing things with your child to enrich them educationally. You can clean all day if you plop them in front of the TV, but even then you have to interact with these educational programs for the information to be meaningful. What programs do you like to allow you children to watch? My two year old is likes the Upside Down Show, where she has to play with the remote!! Too funny! Ingenious actually. She is a Dora fan of course. She will watch anything just as any child, but I restrict it to the programs I feel do teach something.

     I will soon be getting stressed about my Thanksgiving obligation. I have the stress beginning to accumulate in my neck and shoulders.
Calgon...take me away!

Hi Jamila,
The kids are in bed so peace and quiet at last! I was
worried that maybe your children's flu was still
bothersome and kept you from the site. Hope your son
is feeling much better. As for housecleaning I do the
best I can on a daily basis. Now my baby is 6 months
old it's even difficult to clean with her in a snugli.
Believe me, I got over my Martha Stewart syndrome
about 2 kids ago. As u said, one is a handfull,
three.......forget about it. I maintain cleanliness
because it's next to Godliness but the daily
scrubbings of my early married days are long gone :)

I have been trying my best to eat right for the past
month cause exercise is not easy with my 3 yr old who
would insist on climbing the treadmill with
me......anyway I'm usually too tired for that. I got a
pilates tape and though it works, it has gotten
booooring. Sad to say I lost only 4 pounds and I
watched my hubby and kids eating ice cream and
chocolate like no man's business and all I lost was 4
miserable pounds. I now realize that without aerobic
exercise I'm on a fast track to nowhere. I hope to
lose 4 more pounds b4 our trip as I can't imagine what
it'd be like with 8 extra pounds chasing my kids
around the airport during our stopovers.

My daughter loves that show too, with the 2 guys. She
loves Dora and Backyardigans. One of her favorites now
is the Wiggles. I agree about choosing educational
shows, she has learned to count in spanish from
Dora.....and in southern cali that is an asset when on
the job hunt. She does not like Sesame Street though,
much to my surprise, the only one she likes is Elmo
and Snuffy just plain scares the child.

I investigated the flickr site and already have access
cause of my yahoo account, but how do u see the pics
if my option is private viewing? I'll try to figure it
out too.

Well, it's been a long day. My 8 yr old's teacher is
quitting to become a sahm and my daughter is
heartbroken. That age is so vulnerable, I explained to
her that that's exactly what I did too and does she
think her teacher's kids deserve to have their mom at
home? She quickly lightened up. Jamila, parenting is
the most difficult job on earth and we need the grace
and wisdom of God to do it well. Goodnight my friend!




--- QT - Jamila <qtopic+36-t8t2caqJt3i@quicktopic.com>
wrote:

>
>



 
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Ola,

     I have been so busy and under the weather too. My husband travels so the show cannot stop for me during the week. I have been just sacrificing my ME time to go to bed extra early so I can keep going the next day. I did get the housecleaning done and what was not done I apologized for, but she had no idea how busy I am until she actually saw it for herself. I can tell people, but until they spend a day with us or two then they really see. My son has football and soccer on Saturday so she really got an eye full. He is better now though. My 7 month old is the same when it comes to the housework. She wants to be held all the time. She is crawling now and pulling up. So she occupies herself with toys on the floor for a bit. But she is also teething, working on her 5th and 6th. So she nurses a lot more for comfort. I need Grace and wisdom of God especially at the times she gnaws on me for comfort. It would be so easy to just stop nursing. It does hurt, but I know she is in pain as well and she does not mean to hurt me. I pray everyday for patience and guidance. You are so right, this is one difficult job. How much should our pay be you think? $100,000 US.
    Why are you so tired? Is it just the daily chores and kids or something else? I have a friend who is sick and it keeps her tired. I mentioned I have been going to bed around 7:30. Maybe because I am sort of weak right now partially sick and all.
   I was wondering how you found Mommytoo. What were you doing a search for? I think I had just visited Mocha Moms and found it. I can't remember actually.
    Weight loss...my most depressing topic. My husband says I look fine. But I know what I used to look like. I am back to my size after my second child. I was trying to walk. I don't like to take them out in this cold weather though, even wrapped up well. Aerobic exercise is key though. Dieting has shown little results for me either. Pilates sounds like it could be interesting and fun.
     I am eagerly anticipating the elections this year. It feels like Christmas with all the campaign ads going into overtime this weekend. School is out Tuesday, it just feels bigger this year. Here they may elect George Allen again, but he seems openly racist to me and with all the wrongs Republicans have done it seems only right to have a purging. Then we have a black guy running in Maryland and it will be interesting to see if black people vote Republican just to be voting Black. I can't wait. I try to talk about world events with my son. He is very interested in people with uniforms soldiers, police and firemen. He has lots of questions about why the soldiers are still fighting the bad guys. Why can't they just go get them and come back home. That is a tough one. Good night to you Ola, my kindred sister.

Hey Kindred Sis!
I've been trying to figure out why I'm so tired. I
think it's cause I'm usually sleep-deprived on an
almost daily basis. My baby wakes up once or twice
daily and I'm unable to go back to sleep.

Today is election day. I found the news about Harold
Ford jnr's race quite unbelievable with the neg ads
from the Republicans and the sexual undertones, when
they are the ones revealed to be hypocritical
pedophiles and closet-gay evangelicals. I think it is
sad that the country is so partisan when we should
actually vote on issues. As for the black Republican,
good luck to him because that party uses blacks and
then spits them out.....a la Powell.

How did I find the site? I was actually dying to talk
to someone my first month as a sahm. I don't really
have close friends here cause they are back home and
it's difficult to maintain those kinds of frienships
being on different continents. Anyway, I found your
site and thought it would be a good way to connect
with other Moms. And here we are! I wonder about the
other ladies though.... like why they stopped
communicating etc but as u know I'm working on not
over analyzing stuff so I have let that go.

My hubby is at a conference this week, he seldom
attends them, like once each quarter, so I totally
relate with you this week.

Your son is adorable. I think he is at that stage of
discovery where they so want to feel accomplished....
i hear this age is akin to what kids go through as
teens. Well gotta run, baby needs to eat.

  

--- QT - Jamila <qtopic+36-t8t2caqJt3i@quicktopic.com>
wrote:

>
>




 
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< replied-to message removed by QT >

This is deep, so take your time.* *
>
> Why Did You Make Me Black Lord ?...
> Lord ... Why did you make me black?**
> Why did you make someone**
> the world would hold back?* *
> Black is the color of dirty clothes,**
> of grimy hands and feet...
> Black is the color of darkness,
> of tired beaten streets...* *
> Why did you give me thick lips,
> a broad nose and kinky hair?
> Why did you create someone* *
> who receives the hated stare?*
>
> *
> Black is the color of the bruised eye
> when someone gets hurt...
> Black is the color of darkness,
> black is the color of dirt.
>
> Why is my bone structure so thick,
> my hips and cheeks so high?
> Why are my eyes brown,
> and not the color of the sky?
>
> Why do people think I'm useless?
> How come I feel so used?
> Why do people see my skin
> and think I should be abused?
>
> Lord, I just don't understand...
> What is it about my skin?
> Why is it some people want to hate me
> and not know the person within?
>
> Black is what people are "Labeled"
> when others want to keep them away...
> Black is the color of shadows cast...
> Black is the end of the day.
>
> Lord you know my own people mistreat me,
> and you know this just ain't right...
> They don't like my hair, they don't like my
> skin, as they say I'm too dark or too light!
>
> Lord, don't you think
> it's time to make a change?
> Why don't you redo creation
> and make everyone the same?* *
>
> GOD's Reply:* *
> Why did I make you black?
> Why did I make you black?
>
> I made you in the color of coal
> from which beautiful diamonds are formed...
> I made you in the color of oil,
> the black gold which keeps people warm.
>
> Your color is the same as the rich dark soil
> that grows the food you need...
> Your color is the same as the black stallion and
> panther, Oh what majestic creatures indeed!
>
> All colors of the heavenly rainbow
> can be found throughout every nation...
> When all these colors are blended,
> you become my greatest creation!
>
> Your hair is the texture of lamb's wool,
> such a beautiful creature is he...
> I am the shepherd who watches them,**
> I will ALWAYS watch over thee!**
>
> You are the color of the midnight sky,
> I put star glitter in your eyes...
> There's a beautiful smile hidden behind your pain...
> That's why your cheeks are so high!
>
> You are the color of dark clouds
> from the hurricanes I create in September...
> I made your lips so full and thick,
> so when you kiss...they will remember!
>
> Your stature is strong,
> your bone structure thick to withstand the
> burden of time...
> The reflection you see in the mirror,
> that image that looks back,..that is MINE!
>
> So get off your knees,
> look in the mirror and tell me what you see?
> I didn't make you in the image of darkness...
> I made you in the image of ME!*


 
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I read that the day you put it up. It is deep. I love the two sided manner in which it is written and the passion with which it overflows.

     I have been sooo busy and tired getting ready for Thanksgiving and all. Plus, my 7 month old is teething and she is restless most nights.


     I finally took a big step in my business. I called my Uncle to ask for help as my artist. I have been struggling with calling him for weeks. I don't know why, it is one of the easiest things in the world for most. It is however, my biggest obstacle. Picking up the phone and keeping in touch with people.

     How have you been? I have been thinking of working a job. My husband's company is hiring for a position that seems like I could do well. But I just tried to think of sacrificing the things I am doing at home with them and putting them in daycare and even though the extra money would be nice, it just doesn't seem worth the time lost to traffic and the work day. Plus, coming home and having work still to do which subtracs from the quality time they receive. No thnks, not right now anyway.

Hello All,

I'm new to the group and wanted to say hi. I'm a SAHM in Houston, TX. I'd love to keep in touch with everyone.

I look forward to your response(s).

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. I am glad the cooking is over, my feet hurt so bad, but seeing everyone together and happy was great.

How was you alls Thanksgiving?

Thanksgiving was great but busy as usual. Hope
everyone is doing well. Happy Holidays!
--- QT - Jamila <qtopic+36-t8t2caqJt3i@quicktopic.com>
wrote:

>
>



 
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Welcome BlessedMind. Glad to hear from you.

Ola, I am glad to hear you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. We are preparing to have our first Christmas away from home. We will travel to my father's house this year.

What toys are on your list this year to ask Santa to bring your children. All the mass produced over advertised toys make me want to puke. They are lovely for a week at the most and then they are discarded to the bottom of the toy box. I really want "thinking" toys. Any thoughts? My son is 5 and my girls are 2 and 8 months.

Hi Jamila,

How are you and yours? Santa is going to have an
easier time this year at our house. I usually get my
girls 3 things each and the rest come from their
cousins. This year, cause we'll be at my sister's in
Dubai, I got only one toy each and will shop for the
rest when I get there.I usually get 2 educational toys
and one that could be any toy they have on the
tippy-top of the list. Their cousins usually get them
toys.

For my 3 1/2 year old I got the Fisher Price Little
people time-to-learn preschool. The one I got teaches
numbers, shapes and colors. They have one that teaches
the alphabet too. She needs some reinforcement and
would be acting as the teacher which I know she'll
love. My baby is getting a toy Elmo phone.

My 8 year old will be getting the Q20 game. You try to
stump it by answering more questions than it can. She
wants a cell-phone because some classmates have them
(what's up with that at 8) but I have gently told her
that Santa does not think she needs that. She has a
toy one and it'll have to do till she is 12.

Well, nice to hear from you again. Had houseguests (my
hubby's cousin from home) over the Thanksgiving
holiday and am just recovering from performing the
hostess role.

Talk to you later!
Ola
--- QT - Jamila <qtopic+36-t8t2caqJt3i@quicktopic.com>
wrote:

>
>








 
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< replied-to message removed by QT >

Edited by author 12-05-2006 11:08 PM
Ola,

     Mine are doing well. I hope yours are in good health as well. The Christmas concert my son's school put on was pure comedy and so emotional for me. He rang the mess out of some jingle bells tonight, you hear me!! But he look like such a big boy up there :( Where did the time go.

     I bought some toys for my daughter's 2 nd birthday from Hearthsong and next thing you know I am receiving a mailbox full of catalogs from kid toy stores I have never heard of before. I do like one a lot though, Mindwareonline. Google it, some great brainy toys. I even recently saw in one of my plethora of catalogs Cat in the Hat in Latin. I took Latin in High School and college and would love to start preparing my kindergartner for the SATs (just joking, but the thought has crossed my mind!!) Hey, Dora teaches Spanish!!! I am with you on keeping the number of toys limited.
     How is the weight loss going for the trip? You still at it or back to the drawing board?

     Question: How fly can you get in the morning before taking the kids to school and housework begins? I mean I am not as fly as I used to be (I thought I looked good before babies). Now, I have the "MOM" look. I get three people ready before pancakes and sausage on a daily basis not to mention the housework and yardwork. I don't get as fly as the ladies on some of the housecleaning commercials. I think to myself where is she going after she scrubs that floor, because she seems dressed in some crisp khakis. I am just bothered because some comments where made about my frumpiness from my sister. I don't wear skin tight jeans and 4 inch hills to the grocery store anymore sorry. Just venting.

I was just thinking of a small part in your message and some of my demons that torture me from time to time. Ola, you said you told your doaughter "gently" that Santa didn't think the cell was a good idea.

     I speak gently with my children as often as I can, but the truth is I do sometimes yell at them. I was semi abused as a child. I mean it seemed regular to me so I am not sure. I never had any broken bones, just "good old fashioned whoopings". I can identify where it may have broken my spirit in ways and made undue modifications in my personality that I struggle with still as an adult. I try not to pass these issues on to my children, but I do yell sometimes. I realize I must look like a monster to my angels when I do it. But they don't always do things correctly even after having been told what seems to be 100 times. Plus, when you are with them all day and night as a SAHM it is totally believable that you will get to your wits end at times, usually the end of the day for me. I recognize that and celebrate bedtime. Even bedtime is hard with the baby teething and nursing though. I am not complaining at all. I just wonder, does being a super mom mean being perfect ALL the time or just admitting you are a work in progress. Just venting again.

Dear, dear Jamila,

First and foremost I need to tell you that I did not
mean to condemn you in any way when I wrote that. The
reason it came out is because when I find things
incredulous in the past, my reaction is veryyyy
dramatic, hence my needing to tone my response to her
down. An area I struggle with too is yelling at
everyone in my life when I was growing up and
sometimes now. My Dad actually gave me the nickname
"daughter of Zebede" (sp) after the Bible's story of
the son's of Zebede who asked Jesus to rain down fire
on a city. Now I'm much better by the grace of God
and it is only by His grace that I've come this far. I
still have moments of frustration especially with my
31/2 year old who at this age is so independent and
willful it is not even funny. The 8 yr old is more
mature so it is easier to communicate with her.

I listened to Dr. Robin on xm last month and she
talked about watching your tone with your kids etc.
For days I felt condemned about the times I end up
yelling at my girls. This went on for days and I even
contacted Dr. Robin to ask the question (but ended up
asking another question). Anyway I missed that
opportunity, but one night while listening to Joyce
Meyer she talked about the need to sometimes raise our
voice with children to show a different level of
seriousness. I admit I sometimes do it out of
frustration but I am very aware of those times.

It is only by being open with our girlfriends, fellow
Moms, sisters etc that we grow in this journey called
life. I was sexually and physically abused as a child
and I know what that can do to one's spirit and soul.
I think I'll stop now because this is becoming an
epistle but I have never met anyone who reminds me so
much of myself even before knowing them for any length
of time. I hope I have not scared you away from
communicating further with me.
Take good care!





 
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Edited by author 12-06-2006 03:00 PM
Hi again Jamila, I don't know why I did not get your prior mail about the Christmas show....I just visited the site and saw it. I definitely have been looking frumpy since staying home with the kids and leaving the corporate world and I don't need to have anyone tell me. Wonder why your sis felt a need to say that.

 I think it is more difficult when you have a baby, I smell like milk most of the time with the baby spit-ups etc. I looked at my daughter (the baby) last night and thought of how blessed she and her sisters are. This is a huge sacrifice we are making for our kids and I high-five you on that. We will get to look all glammy and tight at another time....now we are doing the best we can for our families and it is well worth everything!

The weightloss is going well. I have 5 more inches to lose off my waist according to Dr. Oz on Oprah's show.

Hi Jamila,
I did some thinking and have decided to unsubscribe from the message board. It dawned on me while rereading your message that you were saying I was portraying myself as a "supermom". This must be an area you may need to address for yourself. I wish you all the best in your future endeavors.
Ola.

Ola,

     Your last message totally threw me for a loop. Then again it did not. I understand what happened...you over analyzed my "super mom" thing!!! I know because I know I do the same thing. I was not even taking it as you condeming me though :) I was speaking along the lines that I had mentioned early on about some in my family thinking I do not spank/whoop my children enough and them thinking speaking gently or using time outs is a joke. These were the demons I struggle with. Then you read some of these mags that you get free in the mail (ie. Parents, American Baby and they seem not to even raise their voice let alone a hand to a child and think that anyone who has the thought to do so may need some help professionally.)

You say:
     I think I'll stop now because this is becoming an
epistle but I have never met anyone who reminds me so
much of myself even before knowing them for any length
of time. I hope I have not scared you away from
communicating further with me.

We were beginning to grow together and normally one may say, "Well, whatever...if Ola wants to be all like THAT!" LOL But, why run from a good beginning of a friendship Kindred Sister over a miscommunication? I thought you said I could vent. Now you are the one adopting not to communicate any further. I am really confused now Ola.

Hi Jamila,
I apologize.
Ola.

I can see how my message may have been misconstrued. But I really was asking a question I already know the answer to, which is this: Is it okay to acknowledge we are not always perfect, not saying you think you are, but just saying when we make a mistake maybe the same one more than once, can we recover from it? I was very overwhelmed when I sat down and wrote that, you just don't know. The holidays, upcoming birthdays, my business, housework, kids, trying to find time to reach out to friends and family on the phone and mail correspondence. Goodness knows sometimes I need a break. I just wanted to hurry and try to write how I was thinking and feeling and in its parsed formation some or most of the intent of my message may have been lost. I accept your apology and hope you will still be my sister!

I am glad you did not unsubscribe until I had a chance to reply :)

Jamila, I try to learn from incidents such as the one
that just occurred. I really thought I had overcome
some insecurities and to some extent, my tendency to
overanalyze stuff. NOT!!!!!!!! I should have gone with
my first instinct, which, though wrong could still be
explained i.e. you did not feel condemned but was
simply stating the obvious.

Communicating via the message board is really dicey as
it is impossible to ask questions or get immediate
feedback. It works though, because with kids and a
million things to do, it is very convenient to help
one stay in touch.

I hope things calm down for you over the next few
days, if not, maybe you should try to remain calm
within yourself even if your surrounding is chaotic. I
don't know how to meditate for real but I just repeat
scripture or recite positive things till my action
catches up with my thoughts.

My birthday is on Sunday. I turn 38. I think getting
ready for our trip is also creating some stress. We
leave on Wed. Well, stay blessed and I'll talk to u
later.

Ola.


 
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Ola,

     I like the idea about repeating scripture or a positive saying...I am really going to try that. It is mostly when I allow myself inside to get as worked up as my environment that I am short and irritable with them. Thanks for the suggestion.

    Happy upcoming birthday. I hope you have a great trip and take some beautiful pics. That trip is a very long one I am sure and it will be interesting with 3 babies. Good Luck to you and your dear hubby.

Thanks Jamila. I am repeating the mantra "Our flight would be smooth and uneventful" to stop myself from going into a tizzy. Does your Dad live nearby and when do you leave? Well, I'll miss talking to you but will be back on the 28th. Have a very merry Christmas. Don't let anyone or anything get under your skin and I'll try to do the same too. Cheers!

We are leaving the 21st and my Dad is in Georgia. It will be a long drive, but I am ready for it I believe. We will be returning the 28th as well so I will talk to you sometime near there. I will be repeating postivie mantras throughout the rest of this holiday season. Enjoy your sister and your family. Safe travels.

Dear Jamila,
Just a quick note to wish you a merry christmas from Dubai. Hope you are having fun at your Dad's. Our vacation is wrapping up and we are having a lovely time. Hoping the delays at Heathrow won't affect us. Stay blessed!
Ola.

Edited by author 12-25-2006 05:06 PM
Ola,

Thank you so much for thinking of me. Happy New Year to you and your family as well. I am here in Georgia enjoying the family so much and enjoying the time to sort of wind down. I will pray for swift travel for you, be blessed.

I am the mother of a very active 4 year old boy. I didn’t have
much time to spend with him while at my old job. I would pick
him up from daycare go home, fix supper, eat, bath him, and
then it was time for bed. He was cranky because of the lack of
attention, I was sad because I didn’t have the time or energy to
give him what he needed. I felt like I was failing as a mother,
but then I found my current at home business. I have plenty of
time to do anything now! He is happier, and so am I. I never
worry about paying my bills, or not being able to afford a
vacation! http://workathomeunited.com/hwbaye

I am very grateful for a web site like this. I was an elementary educator for eight years and finally threw in the towel in 2005 when my husband's job (he is in the military) sent us to Hawaii for two years. I sometimes feel so alone even in the large military community in which I live because I am probably the only black woman with school age children who has chosen to stay home. I consider myself somewhat of an introvert and have on many occassions extended the olive branch of friendship to my white neighbors and my few black neighbors. I just find that the relationships that I have tried to establish are very transparent, superficial, and often times down right phony. My few black neighbors have issues of their own which I rather not go into any detail about. My children and my husband are very happy with my decision to stay home but I often feel that I need to be "out there" making my mark on the world. Can any of you other stay at home moms relate to what I am saying?

Hey Ladybug,
  I understand what you are going through. I use to teach high school and now I have been a stay-at-home mom for almost 2 years. I can't talk long but I just wanted to let you know that by raising your children and spending this time with them you are making the most important mark on the world. My staying home was a big adjustment for me but I am so glad my husband and I decided to stay home. This website is a good way to stay connected. Well take care and e-mail anytime.
QuickTopic daily digest <qtopic+36-t8t2caqJt3i@quicktopic.com> wrote:


SEVEN DAYS WITHOUT GOD MAKES ONE WEAK
         Take time each day to spend quality time with God.
  And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart,
  with all your soul, with all your mind, and with all your strength. Mark 12:30 (NKJV)
< replied-to message removed by QT >

Hello , My name is Melissa and I'm new to this message board.

I was a working mom for 8yrs and I decided a little over a year ago to stay at home!! I'm married and I have a daughter who is 12yrs old.
Well, needless to say I was getting bored at home and I missed that second income. So I decided to look for something to do from home. I looked for months with NO LUCK- finally i found a great company and the training and support has been wonderful. The company I'm speaking of is Four Point Group.
Four Point Group is in partnership with a Wellness Company. The Wellness Company has been in business for over 20yrs and is a member of the BBB!!
If you would like to learn more, please see
www.purecleanliving.fourpointmoms.com

Please fill out the Request Information Form and I will contact you to set up a Business Presentation.

Thanks Ladies/ MOMS for your time!!

Melissa
healthyliving_01@yahoo.com

a great way to make money! get paid to sites!! [url=http://partycashgpt.com/members/register.p...79_1.jpg[/img][/url]

Hello Sister Mothers in the Syracuse, NY area. Where are you? Am I the last stay at home black mother here? I am involved in a couple of mom groups in the area, but I am always the only minority.
I advertised in the Post Standard to try to initiate a Mocha Mom group here, but noone showed up. The groups I attend are okay, but I need some sista support. Email me: cnymochamom@yahoo.com

Edited by author 10-04-2007 12:25 AM
Hi, I am a mom of 2, working from home and lovin it. I am a college student and a military wife, and I am adding an additional income from home. I just love the company I work with, they are great! There is no selling, inventory or money handling. Ask about our October Promotions for the business builder.

http://www.lovinitathome.com

As Seen On Oprah, Fast Way To Earn Money Online

As Seen On Oprah, Fast Way To Earn Money Online


As Seen On OPRAH & 20/20 - TURN $6 into $24600
Earn money using PAYPAL as seen on Oprah & 20/20


THE PAYPAL 6 DOLLAR MONEY-MAKING METHOD


AS SEEN ON OPRAH EARN HUGE $$$$$$$$


all you need is:
1) An email address
2) A PayPal account
3) $6.00
THIS IS A 2007, CURRENT EMAIL LIST


Ever since the internet became popular, the word "scam" has become a
daily term. I have never once tried any money making "system" outside
of this because of that very reason. However, after reading reports
on
the validity and reputation of this money making system (seen on
Oprah,
CNN, and other media forums) I decided to give this one a shot...
Especially since the so called "risk" is only $6.00. I mean, for the
chance, what a joke right? Anyway, only hours after implementing this
exact system I about fell out of my chair as money ACTUALLY started
rolling in. I couldn't believe it and for that reason, I wrote this
intro and became a believer in this system.


WHAT IS IT?


The idea is that of a system that takes advantage of the power of
compounding. And in a big way, let me tell you. First and foremost
understand that there are
countless spin-offs of this system that try to make a "quick buck"
off
of people. Long lists, the 5 & 10 dollar trees, the birthday systems,
etc...


Those spin-offs do make money because of the ease of implementation
of
this idea, but they do NOT use the compounding advantage. This system
is THE legit and profitable one. Here is how it works... There is a
list of 6 email addresses (you'll see it as you read further). Each
of
these people has already taken part in this system. When someone new
comes along (such as yourself) he/she removes #1 off of the list,
moves
the other five email addresses up one position (i.e. #6 goes to #5,
#5
to #4, etc.), and places their PayPal email address in the #6
position.
This process is what develops the power of compounding. The bottom
line
is this... Honesty and Integrity creates Profitability. Following
this
EXACT process is what creates the money, and that is why this system
has been raved about in the media. Altering the system creates weak
results. The legality of this system comes from the idea that you are
of course creating a mailing list, and a "service" is being provided
(more on that later.) Now on to how your $6.00 creates BIG money...


INSTRUCTIONS:


STEP 1:


The first thing to do is highlight and SAVE this entire post in word
or
notepad on your computer so you can come back to it later.


After that, if you are not already a PayPal user you need to go to
the
PayPal website at https://www.paypal.com/au/mrb/pal=CW4RHQW7BQJKC and
SIGN UP. If you want to be able to
receive credit card payments from other people then you will need to
sign up for a PREMIER or BUSINESS account (not just a PERSONAL
account). This is highly recommended to allow others easy payment
options. In order to place the initial $6 into your account, you will
have to verify your bank account with PAYPAL (which may take a few
days). PAYPAL is 100% secure and is used by millions of people
worldwide.


STEP 2:


Here is where the action occurs. The first thing to do is to send a
$1.00 payment to each of the 6 email addresses on the current list
from
your PayPal account. To do this quickly and successfully, follow
these
simple steps:


1. Login to PayPal and click on the "Send Money" tab near the top of
the screen


2. In the "Recipient's Email" field enter the email address


3. In the "Amount" field enter "1" (This is your $1.00 payment)


4. In the "Category" field select "Service" (Keeping it legal)


5. In the "Subject" field type "EMAIL LIST", and in the "NOTE" field
enter "PLEASE PUT ME ON YOUR EMAIL LIST". By doing this, you are
creating a service and maintaining the legality of the system by
"paying" for the service.


6. Finally, click on the "Continue" button to complete the payment.
Repeat these steps for each of the 6 email addresses. That's it! By
sending the $1.00 payment to each address, you are implementing the
compounding POWER of the system. You will reap what you sow!


Here is the current e-mail list:


*************************************************


The email list:


1) mustang_matt123@yahoo.com
2) kristih2002@hotmail.com
3) andsoitwaswritten@msn.com
4) zoeyterrier@yahoo.com
5) wdahni@hotmail.com
6) stephanievbg17@hotmail.com


************************************************


STEP 2:


Now take the #1 email off of the list that you see above (from your
saved file), move the other addresses up (6 becomes 5, 5 becomes 4,
etc.) and add YOUR email address (the one used for your PayPal
account)
as number 6 on the list. This is the only part of the document that
should be changed. ** Make sure your email address is the one you
have
registered with PayPal **


STEP 3:


Post your amended article to at least 200 newsgroups or message
boards.
Keep in mind that there are tens of thousands of groups online! All
you
need is 200, but remember the more you post the more money you make -
as well as everyone else on the list! I've began to see money roll in
before I even hit 100 posts, but try to hit around 200 to allow
maximum exposure. Use Netscape, Internet Explorer, Firefox, Safari,
or
whatever your internet browser is to search for various news groups,
on-line forums, message boards, bulletin boards, chat sites,
discussions, discussion groups, on-line communities, etc. For
example,
log on to any search engine like yahoo.com or google.com and type in
a
subject like 'MILLIONAIRE MESSAGE BOARD', 'MONEY MAKING DISCUSSIONS',
'MONEY MAKING FORUMS', or 'BUSINESS MESSAGE BOARD', etc. You will
find
thousands and thousands of message boards. Click them one by one and
you will find the option to post a new message. Fill in the subject
which will be the header that everyone sees as they scroll through
the
list of postings in a particular group, and post the article with the
NEW list of email addresses included. THAT'S IT!!! All you have to do
is jump to different newsgroups and post away. After you get the hang
of it, it will take about 30 seconds for each newsgroup.


HOW THE MONEY WORKS:


When you post 200 messages in various forums, it is estimated that at
LEAST 15 people will respond and send you a $1.00 ($15.00). Those 15
will Post 200 Posts each and 225 people send you $1.00 ($225.00),
etc.
through 6 levels of email addresses. For comprehension purposes, here
is an easy viewing chart:


1) 15(1) = 15 people ($1) = $15
2) 15(15) = 225 people ($1) = $225
3) 15(225) = 3375 people ($1) = $3375
4) 15(3375) = 50625 people ($1) = $50625
5) 15(50625) = 759375 people ($1) = $759375


As you can see, your $6.00 has multiplied exponentially. What other
opportunity that is as simple as this can cash in the way this can?!
I'm not going to say this is going to make everyone over $800,000,
but
within a few WEEKS you begin to see results, thanks to the speed of
the
internet!


When your name is no longer on the list, take the latest posting in
the
newsgroups and begin the process again. Simply amazing...


One other tip to speed up the process even more:
You can send out your amended post (after you complete the process
and
add your PAYPAL email address to the list) to the contacts you
already
have in YOUR email address book! It is AMAZING how fast this works.
Be
cautious though with your emailing (don't spam hundreds of people you
don't know). Combine this idea with the steps above to MAXIMIZE your
profits. I can't stress enough how this system works wonders. There
is
something to be said when an idea is internationally publicized, just
make sure you take advantage of it (especially for only $6.00!)


Follow the system as described, and enjoy your PROFITS!!!


REMEMBER... HONESTY AND INTEGRITY = PROFITABILITY


YOUR NAME COULD CYCLE FOR A LONG TIME! THIS MAKES IT THE GIFT THAT
KEEPS ON GIVING.


This is excellent seed money to start or expand a business, buy your
dream home, car and pay off whatever bills you may have. Good luck!


HOW TO POST TO NEWS GROUPS?


Use Netscape or Internet Explorer and try searching for various
newsgroups (on-line forums, message boards, chat sites, discussions.)
Log on any search engine like yahoo.com, google.com, altavista.com,
excite.com, etc., then search with the subject "millionaire message
board; or; money making message board; or; employment message board;
or making discussions; or ''money making forum; or; business message
board; etc. You will find thousands & thousands of message boards.


Click on them one by one and you will find
the option 'post a new message'. Then Post this article as a 'new
message' by highlighting the text of this letter and selecting copy
then paste from the edit menu. Fill in the Subject, this will be the
header that everyone sees as they scroll through the list of postings
in a particular group, click the post message button. You're done with
your first one! It only takes about 60 seconds to complete postings on
message boards after you catch on.


REMEMBER, THE MORE NEWSGROUPS YOU POST IN, THE MORE MONEY YOU WILL
MAKE!!


GOOD LUCK!!!!

RACISM IN NORTH AMERICA EXPOSED:

Beware of racist and racially intolerant white societies in North America wilfuly engaging

in ugly deeds of racial profiling of non-whites, in racial harassment of non-whites, and in

racially dehumanizing attempts to racially harass non-whites through intimidating

physically, mentally, and spiritually; portraying their racial hatred of non-whites through

provocations and false implications, through causing wilfull and dehumanizing disturbance

to non-whites through using illegal wall-see-through technologies and audio-bugs on

non-whites' homes; through listening and watching through the walls of non-whites' rented

and owned homes, through infiltrating into their internet and private telephones, and

through using tempest technology to infiltrate as ugly parasites into others' computers'
hard-drives that amounts to illegal plagiarism and privacy violations.

The perpetuators of these evil deeds do this from their cars and from neighborhoods on and

off work, using illegal equipment slyly given to them by the unworthy cops, and then
accelerating their cars loudly and intimidatingly near non-whites' homes and driving

intimidatingly in presence of non-whites on streets, making threatening u-turns, driving
intimidatingly right up and over sidewalks when a non-white is on the sidewalk, throwing

their ugly bullying weight around, in their shameless acts of cowardice. It is all done

slyly, supposedly smartly, either loudly or silently; however, they cannot fool all the

people all the time.

The cops also participate themselves to wail their sirens abusively everytime non-whites

move and talk inside their rented and owned homes in daily routine living, in addition to
having their henchmen and henchwomen, and often, using their non-white gutless henchmen and

henchwomen in cars, transport, shopping centers, neighborhoods, etc, to commit these ugly

harassing racially profiling deeds at all times day and night. Using non-whites to engage

in racial harassment of other non-whites is an obnoxiously evil sinister humanely
disgraceful intelligent move of the whites well-known for their ugly divide and rule

tactics through using their non-white henchmen and henchwomen who just do as they are told
and are full of racial intolerance towards non-whites.

It's a shameful disgrace when the so called protectors of law turn into abusers of law

themselves and throw the weight of their uniforms and law around as cowards. So, they and
their henchmen and henchwomen, appear to be very law respecting on the outside; however,

they network cowardly to commit sly acts of provocation to non-whites all the time, which
is supposed to be legally acceptable. Is watching through walls of non-whites homes,

bugging their homes, working in networking syndicates against them, committing human rights
and privacy violations against them, slyly committing heinous deeds of planned provocations

againts them, falsely implicating them, etc, supposedly lawful for the whites? Who makes

those laws that favor only the whites? The law itself has racism in its clauses. The ugly

inner dirt of the perpetuators of these evil deeds of racism do not deserve to step into
religious institutions for their ugly deeds - such as, if you ain't white, you ain't right?

Oh! Really? The white colonialism is responsible for the world's evils today. Nicely

dressed, beautiful people, magnificient concrete jungles, clean roads and lawns, sweet
polite talkers on the outside, full of ugly stench in their souls, that is the cause of

these racist policies that are outrightly biased against non-whites. What a shame! Most of
these ugly acts of dehumanizing racial profiling depict the cowardice of the doers of these

deeds in the real sense, and are done at the behind the scenes insistence of the racially
intolerant white cops and racist white societies through their frontline stooges. However,

without physical evidence, the white cops, security, societies, and their henchmen and
henchwomen are laughing sinisterly at their heinous deeds and the legal system seems to

support this evil through its inability to take action without physical evidence. Their
racial profiling penetrates public transport systems, shops and stores to do all they can

to make the non-whites feel unwelcome in their dehumanizing acts of racial profiling
against non-whites and those who don't conform to their nonsense. The white cops,

security, and white communities use their henchmen and henchwomen who do just as they are
told and from behind the safety cushion of their oil-guzzling, pollution creating, often

dark-glassed vehicles to intimidate and harass non-whites in obnoxious racial profiling

that reflects the immoral, despotic, and cowardly behaviour of racially intolerant white

cops, security, communities and their dumb henchmen and henchwomen who do just as they are

told, fuelled as they are in their racial frenzy, thanks to the racially manipulative
corporate controlled media. Additionally, they twist the word of the Lord against those who

dare to oppose their racism. This reflects that they cannot bear the truths of their racism
exposed.

Volunteers are welcome to circulate this information to all they know to put an end to this

abuse and violations of human rights committed by immorally misbehaved white cops,

security, white communities, public transports, shops, stores, etc, and their dumb henchmen

and henchwomen who do just as they are told in their racial frenzy.

Save this information on your computers before any cowards remove it from the websites.

Racism is immoral and dehumanizing behaviour that reflects the "incapable to perform

humanely" quality of those who are racist and are being watched from God's court above in
ways they cannot be expected to be capable to perceive yet.

It's a shame when obnoxious stench of racism comes from people in so called rich countries.

It's even more of a shame when words are twisted by media to influence young minds with

lies. It's even more of a shame when so called authorities perpetuate racism and behave
racistly and enforce racist policies and behaviour through intimidating means amidst outer

sweet and polite talks. Racism seems to be prominent among so called white people in rich

countries who cannot bear non-whites from other countries of origin. Planet Earth belongs

to people of Earth. Highly educated people of high intellectual calibres, rich bosses and

CEOs, etc, of rich countries are a blotch on humanity and their material levels when they

haven't yet evolved to basic human concepts of all humans have red blood irrespective of

race.

Racism stems from social attitudes that are perpetuated by racist societies, the media, the

authoritarians, and the peers. It's time to say, shame on all those who perpetuate racism
and racist attitudes.


http://www.hightechharassment.com/

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.law-enf..._thread/thread/a10f
fa62bed24f16

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.law-enf...ndon-ontario/topics

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.law-enf..._thread/thread/a10f
fa62bed24f16#99f227b5944081c7

http://cryptome.org/tempest-scotus.htm

http://www.uhuh.com/reports/headsup/fron232.htm#Copy

http://www.rmc.ca/academic/gradrech/millimeter-e.pdf

http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/07_01.pdf

http://www.nlectc.org/techbeat/summer2000/LookWallsSum2000.pdf

http://www.akelainc.com/pdf_files/SPIE0405.pdf

http://www.courant.com/news/custom/topnews...s,0,7081907.story?c
oll=hc_tab01_layout

http://www.blackcommentator.com/70/70_cover_white_terror.html

http://school.familyeducation.com/african-...y/racism/47434.html

"Criminal" White Terrorist in Chicago Vs. Non-White "Enemy Combatants"
http://www.musicforamerica.org/node/99204

White terrorist sentenced to 30 years, mainstream media…
http://politics.propeller.com/story/2006/1...-to-30-years-mainst
ream-media-ignores-story

FBI Whistleblower: White Supremacists Are Major Domestic Terrorist Threat
http://www.democracynow.org/2005/6/13/fbi_...remacists_are_major

White terrorists- Never the focus of Western media
http://tabacco.blog-city.com/western_media...acts_ignored_alja.h
tm

Is it time to profile white males? http://whitewatch.wordpress.com/category/terrorism/
http://www.nowpublic.com/adl_org_white_sup...ist_david_lane_dies

White terrorism fails to make the news
http://www.searchlightmagazine.com/index.p...=template&story=184

http://www.reuters.com/article/companyNews...USN0564256720071205

http://www.reuters.com/article/domesticNews/idUSN0938888020071110

http://www.reuters.com/article/companyNews...USN0542758420071205

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/History_of_Canada

http://www.canadaimmigrants.com/forum.asp

http://www.discovervancouver.com/forum/top...D=51628&whichpage=2

http://www.justicia4migrantworkers.org/saw_new.htm

http://www.debwewin.ca/racism.htm

http://www.linkoflinks.0catch.com/linkoflinks.html

http://www.worldhungeryear.org/fslc/faqs/r...?section=11&click=6

http://members.fortunecity.com/brutalitycanada/

http://www.21stcenturycowards.blogspot.com

http://archives.cbc.ca/IDC-1-69-96-479/lif...ty/africville/clip3

www.nlhra.org/Online%20Publications/twwa/twwarins.htm

http://cryptome.org/tempest-scotus.htm

http://www.uhuh.com/reports/headsup/fron232.htm#Copy

http://www.rmc.ca/academic/gradrech/millimeter-e.pdf

http://www.ncjrs.gov/pdffiles1/nij/07_01.pdf

http://www.nlectc.org/techbeat/summer2000/LookWallsSum2000.pdf

http://www.akelainc.com/pdf_files/SPIE0405.pdf

http://www.geocities.com/albanystudent/contribution6.html

http://www.alternet.org/drugreporter/11067/

http://www.schneier.com/blog/archives/2005...avesdropping_t.html

http://sistersincrime.toronto.on.ca/homesurveillanceequipment.php

www.danielnpaul.com/Col/1996/RacismHindersBlacksAndMi'kmaq.html

www.hfxnews.ca/index.cfm?main=multimedia&MMID=68

www.povnet.org/node/1778

www.cbc.ca/maritimemagazine/archives/040418_africvilleReparations.html

http://www.dominionpaper.ca/pdf/dominion-issue40.pdf

http://www.yourluckytoday.blogspot.com

http://www.telusplanet.net/public/dgarneau/indian.htm

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Racism

http://www.geocities.com/CapitolHill/6174/resource.html

http://www.miningwatch.ca/

http://www.turtleisland.org/news/cerd.pdf

http://www.ndir.com/SI/education/debt.shtml

http://www.socialjustice.org/pdfs/economicapartheid.pdf

http://www.canadian-health-network.ca/s … mp;lang=En

http://www.dominionpaper.ca/archives.html

http://www.newswire.ca/en/releases/archive...r2005/11/c9164.html

http://www.ctv.ca/servlet/ArticleNews/stor...rd_070110/20070115/

http://groups.google.com/group/can.atlanti...ad/875b342a4966de27

http://groups.google.com/group/can.atlantic

PAYPAL GIFT of MONEY as MENTIONED on OPRAH and THE WALL STREET JOURNAL- IT'S WORKING!!
..it's really simple. The only things you
will need are:
* An email address
* A Premier or Business PayPal account with at least $5 deposited in it
* 30 minutes of your time
Here is what you need to do:
1.
If you're not already a PayPal user, sign up at www.paypal.com (it doesn't cost anything)....make sure you sign up for a Premier or Business account (again, both free). If you have a personal account already set up, just upgrade to Premier or Business so you may receive credit card payments. PayPal is 100% Secure site and is used by millions. Now just deposit $5 into your PayPal account and you're ready to go!
2. IMMEDIATELY! send that $5 payment through paypal to the email address below, along with a note saying "Here is a $5 DONATION for you!" PLEASE! Remember to add the note because it keeps this program legal (PayPal knows about this... it was proven on OPRAH, DATELINE and NATIONAL TV!) It's INCREDIBLE!


aneal71@bellsouth.net


3. Now remove and replace the email address you sent the $5.00 to with your email address. REMEMBER! to use the same EMAIL ADDRESS that is used with YOUR PayPal account ! !
4. Post this letter in 50 message boards, chat rooms, or newsgroups. You don't need to post 200 like others programs or email 40 people just to get started. Just post it where at least 50 people will see it.
Now the fun happens.... we reap what we sow. Other people will see your posting and do the exact same thing, bringing you lots and lots of dollars!! Seriously, it's common sense.... you do it and 25 people see and do the same thing...so on and so forth... everyone wins!
Look at this way, your gift of 5 dollars ONLY, will come back to you many times over. I never do this type of thing, ever! but, this gift giving made sense to me.
TRUE STORY --> June Alscar tells how she did this gifting summation four times last year. The first time, she received $6,000+ in cash in two weeks and then $14,000+ in cash the next three times. When this program is continued, as it should be, EVERYONE PROFITS!!
YOUR NAME COULD CYCLE FOR A LONG TIME! THIS MAKES IT THE GIFT THAT KEEPS ON GIVING. This is excellent seed money to start or expand a business, buy your dream home, car, pay off student loans, credit cards and pay off whatever bills you may have. When I posted this letter to just 10 message boards, I forgot all about it. Until oneday I checked my PAYPAL account and realized I had $1000.00 in there I was SHOCKED! I couldn't believe it really work, just from investing $5.00 The current state of the economy we need to invest in one another insteady of the lottery, so we all can PROSPER.
HOW TO POST TO NEWS GROUPS? Use Netscape or Internet Explorer and try searching for various newsgroups (on-line forums, message boards, chat sites, discussions.) Log on any search engine like yahoo.com, google.com, altavista.com, excite.com, etc., then search with the subject "millionaire message board; or; money making message board; or; employment message board; or making discussions; or ''money making forum; or; business message board; etc. You will find thousands & thousands of message boards. Click on them one by one and you will find
the option 'post a new message'. Then Post this article as a 'new
message' by highlighting the text of this letter and selecting copy
then paste from the edit menu. Fill in the Subject, this will be the
header that everyone sees as they scroll through the list of postings in a particular group, click the post message button. You're done with your first one! It only takes about 60 seconds to complete postings on message boards after you catch on. (if you need further instructions on how to Copy Paste and Edit send me and email) aneal71@bellsouth.net
REMEMBER, THE MORE NEWSGROUPS YOU POST IN, THE MORE MONEY YOU WILL MAKE!!
Making Money - This Really Works Keep in mind that everything stated is
100% LEGAL as stated by the U.S. Post Office (1800-725-2161). If
you have any doubts, refer to 18 Sec. 1302 & 1241 of the Postal Lottery
laws.
Keep a copy of these steps for
yourself and, whenever you need money, you can use it again and
again.
This is not a scam. This is the biggest growing internet money making scheme on the net,
you will see that as you post your letter to the message boards, but
that just proves how successful it really is. Estimates are at
20,000 to 50,000 new users every day, with thousands of those getting
their own internet service. Remember, play FAIRLY and HONESTY and
this
will work for everyone. . This program remains successful because of the FAITH, COMMITMENT and
INTEGRITY
of the participants. Please continue its success by carefully
adhering
to the instructions. Give it a try and I promise. You want be sorry
GOOD LUCK!

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