Acharya Peter Wilberg's Bulletin

Edited by author 05-11-2009 08:58 AM
The following is a free flowing meditative statement that arose from my recent correspondence with Acharya. I share it with readers.

**On The Uniqueness of Awareness***

*Shiva - Awareness, prior to the arising of the Objective, The Other of Shiva.

*Kali - The living manifestation, from within and without, of all differentiation, of every polarity. The arising of the Objective, the Other. Kali cannot be without Shiva.

*When Kali sleeps, Shiva sleeps. When Shiva awakens, Kali awakens.

*Each Jiva is an utterly full unique 'configuration' of Awareness-Manifestation.


*In quantum physics there are some with deep knowledge of this field, that say it is possible, being ever unable to fully define in time and space the sub atomic particle, as say in an electron, that it is conceivable that all may be one 'electron' vibrating with infinite action between the field of actuality and the field of probability,and that each moment of measurement of an electron is made manifest in its particular way by the particular awareness that is active at that moment.
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Does Awareness have particularity? We, as Shaivites, present that all arises in awareness. Within the New Yoga we also refer to the 'Field of Awareness'. It occurs to me that the only awareness that I will ever know is 'my own'. I will never know yours, for you will ever be other to me. Is my awareness, that is the only awareness that 'I' will ever know, in the Field of Awareness or is it the Field of Awareness itself, thus as one, is it indeed a 'field'?

Even if I am full of siddhis and find myself in a 'Field of Awareness' moving in 'your awareness' or the 'awareness' of a tree, or transporting myself across time and space in awareness, outside my localised body, even then I am still knowing only my own awareness, it is my awareness of being in these 'other' awareness, but they remain object to me, still other, crystallised, resonated, manifested before or in my same awareness.

I end up asking, what is me and what is this other 'awareness' I am expereincing. It too is 'me', but suggests to me in a seductive manner that I am more than me, a 'field' perhaps, but the only way I will ever experience it is as 'my awareness'.

From 'my viewpoint' the activity within my mind, and externally before my senses are all Kali. How does this Kali come to be before my awareness, the only awareness I will ever know in whatever dimension or state?

'I', my pure awareness does not need an object for me to know that I am still aware, is unchanging and all changes before me. Concepts of a 'Field of Awareness' remain an ever objective concept before my singular awareness, part of the great and noble schemata of Trika Shaivism, a product it appears of minds of great awareness - but is this also the most wonderful dream of all?.

Thus there appears to be a Supreme Singularity, and my awareness is It!

Is there any sense that I am dreaming you and all that is before me?

Is it perhaps a fact that there is only my awareness, no other awareness, no 'field of awareness', just mine, the only one I will ever know.
Again I ask how then does "my Kali" arise? How did the very concept of Kali come to emerge in my awareness, to be 'birthed' indeed?

How does Kali birth herself? Awareness is prior to that birthing, so it would seem that out of Awareness, Kali arises from a 'Field' of infinite Potentiality, before Time and Space, that we also call Kali, or is it Shiva-Kali, ParamaShiva, in which light-birthing darkness the Great OM resonates, humming, humming?

The only time presently I am not aware of being aware is when I am in undreaming sleep, and in dreaming sleep my awareness can become involuntarily absorbed by its "othering" dream. But it is not an "othering" dream at all, my awareness is the dream, the dream is my awareness and I do not recognise myself. To do so is to step back and become two, Kali and Shiva yielding their most intimate embrace.

When I am able, and I am not able yet, to be aware within undreaming sleep, then I am truly pure Awareness Itself. But it is no 'It'. It is me and 'I' am. And 'I' am not and never will be an 'It', for an 'It' or 'That' is other, an object of living awareness. Is there indeed any 'It' at all, any 'That' other than a phenomenon in my living 'person-ful' awareness?

We may insist to each other that we are, that the whole world is existing outside my awareness. Everything points to this. But this still may be a dialogue of phantoms. What is said and taught, learnt and experienced may be a Kali phenomenon arising with all its story of history and magnificent staging, unto the very beginning, or is 'beginning' itself part of the great tapestry "my" Kali is weaving before "my" Shiva.

If Shiva is me, Kali is me.

I do not think thereby however that my experience of awareness is thus necessarily the only one, even though it, and all that it presents, is the only one 'I' will know in whatever state or level. Here words stumble. Indeed the utter astonishment of Shiva Awareness is that each and every momentary 'unit' of awareness is one full and complete phenomenological experience of Shiva-Kali in itself.

In a sense there is no need to know the "others" awareness for both are experiencing without loss the full same experience of Shiva-Kali, but as a unique 'you', alone, but really never alone, for all before you is your 'partner', alive, full of love, discovery, drama, creativity, destruction, pain, fear, joy, amazement, despair and all the other differentiated polar qualities that make up Being.

When you share with me your unique awareness, that will be a real sharing of two,and the quality of 'sharing' requires a 'form' or boundary of awareness, but it is an Awareness that is really the same One. My Shiva will know your Kali, Your Shiva, mine. And the Kali Other will ever be a supremely uniquely Other and the more Awareness resonates within us as individual Jivas, the more that Kali-born uniqueness presents itself.