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Welcome Ladies and Gentlemen to the Mawson Hall Forum.

Pull yourself over an old oil barrel and join me. I'm sure we will have a great time down here, with our backs to the darkness.

Come now don't be shy, we must move on with the formalities.

First things first, I'm not going to moderate our discussions here, and I don't want to. Feel free to leave your inhibitions at the entrance. Flame whoever you want, rip them to shreds, become a nasty little troll if you so desire. BUT (there's always a but), before you place you delicate little hand on that barrel, before you even take one step further, let us get something straight. Don't make me mad.

You wouldn't like me when I'm mad. No, I don't turn into the Incredible Hulk and go on a mindless rampage. I don't scream or stamp my feet. I don't even raise my fist. What I do is much worse.

Believe me.
Behave in my presence.

Oh, don't let my sterness just now put you off. We'll have a good time here. I promise. Feel free to talk about anything, anything at all. Perhaps you have a woe, and you need a shoulder to cry on? This bony shell might not look like much comfort, but it will suprise you. Just close your eyes, put your head right here, and let it out, sigh it out, gasp it out. Thats right.

C'mon now, who would like to start things off? Anyone, anyone at all?

-Penis Man