Whoa, awfulness! When "Sache's son takes up his father's hook," does that mean the kid chopped his own hand off?

In chapter 3, I notice that the Tolkien Elf Indian is now a Cherokee. And at one point DVK calls him "Sache." Typo or Freud-slip?

...The SPANISH monastery with a SYNAGOGUE is named St NORBERTS? Whuh....whuh...How can anyone above the age of 8 be this stupid? Especially when the next thing we read is how smart he is?
Why not just blow all logic out the window and name it "St Mario of Myst Catholic Jew Zoroastrian Chapel of Love and Monkey House"? It's as exactly as believable.

The Spanish kid is the one with the bad accent? Then why does Jim say "Ah" in place of "I," exactly up to the point where he switches to "I" and stops saying "Ah" IN THE SAME SENTENCE?

"Miss Cora, give him something special on his first day, si?”

Oh, great. Even when I was a little kid watching "Hogan's Heroes" that would piss me off. Why do "foreigners" only speak their native language when they use simple words like "yes"?

He got an extra cheese and bologna sandwich cut across the corners to go with the large bowl of soup. “And like I said before, we’ll allow you to have a second helping if you want it, and as much drinks as you want over at the fountain. All we ask is that you clean your place and,” she winked, “deal with the crusts yourself.”

Wow...baloney sammitch, now THAT'S special. I'd say we're looking at some heavily autobiographical Mary Sue action here.
Speaking of baloney, why is it EVILLLL when Sache plays favorites with his students, but okay when Adam's the recipient? Just like how Adam's so not a bully when he sucker punches a kid in the crabapples and then cuts his father's fucking hand off.

Your foster mommy dressing you like Peter Pan, the guy she wanted to fuck, is very, very normal.

Mimi:
I got the pics back from the framing/matting place, and they came out great! The framers made mention of how everyone there loved the cat pic.

Well, off to torture myself Lost Boy style...He really thinks he can get published? Has he any clue on how the real world works?
No. We've established that. I hope he goes into great detail about his upcomming learning experience.
I remember telling a teacher that "My dad makes lots of money!" And she asked "How much?" I tabulated every imaginable expense, and said "A thousand dollars a year!" I wondered if my math was wrong when she laughed.
Of course, I was in third grade. I wonder how Davey's going to react when that first month ends, and the bills keep rolling in..."WATER?! I have to pay for WATER?!"

Kits:For that matter, who wants to bet that he'll only make one attempt at getting published?
And it'll be to the publisher of the M:TG books. No odds at all on that one ;)
After all, didn't he actually get a feedback letter when he sent that awful Magic story outline to them once?

As for the bits Fistlekits commented on, I LOVE how he feels the need to point out what FONTS he uses. It kinda reminds me of Calvin giving his report on bats/bugs and harping on about the spiffy clear plastic folder it's in.
all the notes, scratches, and whatnot are not to be seen by anyone else because it'll just disrupt the writing process.
Yeah, is that annoying or WHAT? Even if he took those out, he still has the bad habit of putting author's notes in the actual fic body.
Even if he had the writing skill of Pratchett/Gaiman etc, there's no way a publisher is going to accept something that rips off so many existing canons.

"Lookit what I scribbled." Man, that's some fancy Katamari fan art.

Gont's back in Mom's house Dec. 7. Over her dead body, I suspect, but he knows her habits well enough to keep the pension cheques coming in. Then he's back to writing ideas on bits of paper, running them through a bagless vacuum cleaner, and attaching what comes out to a sheet of foolscap in the order he picks it it-- y'know, writing a manuscript.

While I’m on the record, I’ll tell you how a piece is made: It starts off as a brainstorm, either as an idea in my head or tossing ideas around with others. When I have it in a form I can use, I put it down on paper for the first draft.

*HEADDESK* Duh, ass! This is how writing is done! Every writer--well, everybody--knows this, and it's nothing special with you.

And Davey? Writing with the door closed also means not letting anyone else see the first draft until you're finished. That means all the notes, scratches, and whatnot are not to be seen by anyone else because it'll just disrupt the writing process.

This piece isn't even a first draft! It's still chicken scratches in digital text form!

It is only after I’m certain that the final proof-reading and nit-picking is done with will I look for a publisher.

*palmforehead* This is basic common sense, Gontbutt; no editor is going to look at a manuscript cluttered with errors. There's no need to tell us.

In addition, most publishing companies don't look at unsolicited manuscripts anymore--they wind up in the slush pile. That's why you get an agent.

But I'll let Davey be sorely disappointed when his manuscript is returned with a rejection slip...

Also, Davey, sometimes it takes more than one try to get published. Sometimes you have to try a dozen different publishing companies before you find someone who's interested.

(Of course, a rejection will just give him an incentive to keep his LBF stories on his site and claim that the publishing companies just don't appreciate his "genius." For that matter, who wants to bet that he'll only make one attempt at getting published?)

Edited by author 09-28-2005 01:50 PM
Man, i SO wish i knew how to spoof a email addy so that i could send Davey a mail on behalf of microsoft asking for a banner, paying, say, $100. i bet he sells his 'principles' faster than Byron chases the laser dot.

Oh, yeah, today i don't have classes and was going to catch up on homework, so that's the perfect mood to again add comment to this new Davey draft! dibs on that! woohoo!

EDIT: I had made a comment BEFORE reading the draft. D'oh.

Ho-hoo, I am SO not waiting to be asked!
Phrack Whores, you HAVE to read these LBF drafts, they are HYSTERICAL:
His 'skeleton' outline of the book.
We learn a little more about the 'new' Lost Boys. Adam's 'self defense' plea is an absolute hoot.. and Stargate gets raped as well.
Chapter 3
Whoo doggies, hold onto something, this is 46k of pure pain. Adam appears to be adding The Boy Who Lived to his Marti Stu resume once he starts at his new school.
A few choice lines:
St. Norbert’s was founded as a Spanish Monastery and the synagogue still has the clay architecture
O_O.... OY my fadder who art in heaven!
“Ola?!” Roberto turned around, to find the reddish haired preteen behind him. “You’re Adam Packbell?”
Adam fidgeted a bit, “er . . . y-yeah.”
“Ol Lay Lay, we got us a celebrity in Norbert’s!!”
We have a new character and a new PAINFUL accent.
Adam and Vixen enjoy a night cosplaying together. In fact when Adam finds a treasure map to a little surprise in the basement, Vixen gets a little frisky on Adam’s tights.
...THEY'RE ELEVEN/TWELVE! >_<

Trust me, there is SO much I want to quote here, but won't for space.
I shall simply end on the final paragraph, a description of Adam and Vixen's school uniforms:
Old Western take on the more famous boy’s tights and tunic: The Tunic became a vest worn over a collared shirt, and the tights were boot-cut jeans with a button fly and a good-sized belt buckle. Add brown boots with detachable spurs and a Stetson with a red feather off to one side, and the desired image was complete. He even had a sword clipped to his side, although it wasn’t the short dagger. Hung to his side was a katana sword clipped inside his sheath. His motif has a classic Old Western style, but he still resembled the Peter Pan of the old English story.
The Vixen in his arms made a more departure from the blue Wendy costume she kept in her home. It matches Adam’s Western style though, with skin-tight jeans, a vest under a halter top that only went past her chest, and a pair of belts crossing over her hips. But she still makes sure that the most noted item was the silver acorn hanging between her breasts, matching the thimble hanging off Adam’s neck.

Oh god... and I'm just about to go to bed, too.
Will not think about Marcie in Ho!Vixen outfit, will NOT think about... fuck, too late. *sob*

I'm writing all the Davey pool guesses down, btw, so don't worry about this being forgotten ;)

Oh, btw, there's a new chapter of Lost Boy Found on his secret inner circle board. It's in Word format, so I had to get a reader to decode it. Anyone interested in reading it, I'll put it up...

Steve: I did think about doing that, but I figured it would be easier to register the domain through my website host. Instead, I get the feeling I just blew $10 I may never see again. I'm gonna check out GoDaddy and see what they offer.

Mimi: I thought more than a week was too long to register a domain. And yeah, not keeping up with software updates is pretty lazy. Pretty damned lazy and unacceptable. If she's too lazy or busy to keep up with the current software, she shouldn't bother maintaining a website provider.

I'm pissed. I mean, that's almost $60 I spent this year on this "service." I could have used that money on school supplies or gas.

-----

But onto sillier things. Lemme get in on the pool. I say that he lives alone for eight whole days, cries into his Ramen on the ninth, and runs home crying to Mom fifteen minutes later, at exactly 12:15pm.

Bah. He'll go home for Thanksgiving and never leave.

Me! I'll raise you and bet he's back at mom's by Christmas.
I'll even draw the poptart in question for the winner.

I fancy Smurfette flavoured Poptart..

Oh poor baby, he's joining the REAL WORLD! 36 and finally moving out of mom's place!

Now this should be interesting! I'll bet Davey's saved up over a hundred dollars to finance the move!

Who wants to join the office pool? I say he's back home by January. January 15th.
Anyone else? Winner gets a virtual Pop Tart. Any flavor you want!

Apparently "Amen" is Aremaic for "may it be so." I always wondered about that.

Edited by author 09-27-2005 06:16 PM
Kits: That's far too long. I'm with Hostway and it took only about 24 hours to activate my domains. That's at the same price - 10 bucks.

Ditch the bitch and go with another provider. Not even keeping up-to-date with internet browsing capabilities is very lazy.

Meanwhile, speaking of wanting out, Davey's moving!

Listening to: Does Glenn Beck's Archives count?
no, that's brain damage, you idjit.

Reading: M:TG 'Ravnica' by Cory J. Henderson,
*golf clap* I'm starting to think he won't read anything that doesn't have M:TG in the title...


If you have room in whatever qualifies as a prayer list for someone, please include me in that spot at this time.

I've just received word that I'll be getting my own apartment earlier today and I'm now in the process of transitioning from my old 'supported living' arrangement to a more independent environment on my own. As most of you know, this can be rather trying on all facets of a person's life, especially financially.

If I ever going to be needing help from above and from others, this is a proper time.

Oh poor baby, he's joining the REAL WORLD! 36 and finally moving out of mom's place!

The conversation on the front page of his Devart account is getting interesting. Volken Turbo(HondaWhiteFox) is either a very good troll or there's been a genuine misunderstanding here and he really is simply trying to apologise for it. I remember more clearly now that Volken got miffed that Davey wasn't covering his contributions with comments and praise. Davey's not buying it, as evidenced by this priceless quote:
D:And all I wanted to say when you posted that was that I was sorry that I had to work 3-4 days a week and sleep most of the time away from work to comment on every new picture that showed up on my in-box, which was the problem at that time.
He had to WORK 3-4 DAYS?? Get the salts, I may faint dead away from shock. 'Oh, sorry I couldn't comment, I had important sleeping to do'.
I'm starting to side with Volken on this one, if THIS is what Davey calls a 'full schedule'.

FK: You do not need to get your webhost to setup your domain registration. You can pick any domain registra for this. Also you then have control over it, this helps if the hosting outfit is a bunch of morons(which I have found to be a common thing). It also allows you to quickly change hosting providers as you control where your domain DNS servers are, not your hosting provider.

Ernst - Ah, another Katamari Damacy fan? Then you might check out what I doodled yesterday.