I bookmarked this link. Thank you for good job!

5aVX45 comment5 ,

New Comments Page.

Kurt Angle. Yes, this must be to whom he's referring (apparently Davey thinks that he'd be impressed by Scarlett's wrestling), and no, it really doesn't explain the "wiping off."

Happy b-day, Zef~

Lavender Gray: Senior research paper, huh? I remember doing that. I had to do mine with a geography professor, though... and I was a history major at the time. That's what I get for wanting to write about Imperial China in a department where the professors all did Western European and American history. The geo professor was the only one who knew ANYTHING about East Asia. Anyway, good luck to you.

Happy Birthday, Zef! May you dream of marshmallows and, uh... other good stuff that you like!

Bill: Four attempts to leave home? I haven't made any attempt to leave yet. I have an excuse though: I'm still in college. And since I've changed my major, it's going to be a little while longer until I can escape (but I hope it's before I turn 25).

Happy birthday Zef! Love and joy and kittens to you!

I just wrote the following sentences:

"It says in the Poetics, “tragedy is a representation, not of men, but of action and life, of happiness and unhappiness-and happiness and unhappiness are bound up with action" (Dorsch39). In Hamlet, the ghost of Hamlet’s father performs the action of telling Hamlet that Claudius is a murderer. Hamlet in turn performs the action of feigning insanity."

Mercy killing now, please.

Happy Birthday Zefiel!

Poptarts all round!

Happy Birthday Zefiel :)

New Scarlet PI
So poor Jim can't even have his own BODY anymore? Even a disembodied head would be better than the XTREME MANBOOBS frame.
I don't know WHO 'Kurt Angle' is or WHAT he's 'wiping off' to - the burglar rubbing up against the cop's leg or Scar doing yet ANOTHER 'splayed leg' pose. At least she's covering her crotch this time.

And why is it that every child who encounters one of his characters looks utterly terrified?

We.. ARE still in the convenience store, right? Wouldn't the omnipresent security cameras show Scar's delicate handiwork? I'm STILL not sure why she's hiding!

Reading his author's notes might explain why he's always borderline begging for cash to fund his online activities - he's probably been saving every cent he earns for the deposit and moving fees.

Bill:It will, I agree, be much less funny if he crashes and burns and has to go back to Pontoon Beach.
..what if he had to go back because his new landlord is a terrorist-lovin' DEMOCRAT and Davey demonises him into a real-life Sache Hawkins? THAT would be funny ;)

The potentially bad part is that if he DOES figure out that it takes a FULL-TIME job to support oneself, it may mean less bad art for us to mock.
Maybe he could try call centres. My best friend Jet Wolf worked for one for years on night shift and earned pretty damn good money for it. It meant she had to deal with a lot of idiots(which she lovingly chronicled at Operators Standing By), though. Somehow I doubt Davey would have the patience or people skills to deal with over-the-phone customer service.
Mickey D's pays only minimum wage, right? I somehow don't think it would be POSSIBLE to live on a burger-flipper's wage, could it?

This is going to make riffing his work a little harder now.

Not really. I have more sympathy for the dude now, seeing where he's coming from and all, but this reminds me of 2 things I've said repeatedly in my life:

"Just because there's a reason that you're an asshole, it doesn't give you the excuse to be an asshole." I don't think he's an asshole (although he sure used to be, before the new meds), he's just a hilariously clueless hack, but the principle still applies.

And this is specifically used only when trying to explain my fascination with Davey to the unconverted: "If he was just a hack, he wouldn't be interesting. It's because he's a hack who's convinced that he's a GENIUS that makes him funny."

Remember his line, "I have enough imagination to be the next Walt Disney!" Yeah, sure. That's why every one of your Marys has an android fox fuckbot and a samurai sword, even if they're hanging out with Mickey Mouse. "Imagination," "Endless Repetition," same thing.

It will, I agree, be much less funny if he crashes and burns and has to go back to Pontoon Beach. I fully admit that it took me 4! attempts to leave home. The first was at 18, and I wasn't successful until age 27. All because I couldn't get a decent paying job and manage my money properly. But shit, if I could make it, eventually Davey could. He just needs to focus on the real world, and not the androids in his head.

LaGrey:
Better you than me! Crap like that's the reason I became an ex-English major.

Chapter Three: http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2010088&chapter=3

Very much a rough draft, and it's insanely short. I only put it up for the sake of being able to say "Look! I created something that isn't for school! Hooray for me!" So sad.

Oh yeah, I'm also writing my senior research paper, a 25 page shinding that will supposedly be the full culmination of my college career. This is what I have so far:

The Poetics is a treatise on Greek drama written by Aristotle sometime before the year 323 B.C. It is a brief document, containing approximately 10,000 words, though the exact number depends on which translation you use. In it, Aristotle explains what drama is, what kinds of drama exist, and what type of plot structure is required if a play is to succeed. It is widely considered to be the most important work of literary criticism produced in ancient times, and perhaps the most important of all time. Not only does it help us understand the classical plays of ancient Greece, it examines the structure and function of plays, explaining the ultimate purpose of drama. The majority of its length is devoted to the subject of tragedy. Aristotle divides drama into three categories: tragedy, comedy, and epic. Tragedy, he says, “is a representation of an action that is worth serious attention, complete in itself, and of some amplitude; by means of pity and fear bringing about the purgation of such emotions” (Dorsch38-39.) In this essay I will defend the accuracy of Aristotle’s statements by using Shakespeare’s plays Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet as examples.

I told Norm about my fanfic. He promises to commentate on it soon. I also told him this:

The “first person to write a Hsu and Chan fanfic” statement is an expression of anger. Why people haven’t made a bajillion fanpages by now is a mystery I cannot crack. Stupid internet! Be more appreciative of artistic quality!

Ah, but emotional trauma doesn't mean that intelligence has to suffer or rampant egotism and fanboyism is excusable ;).
He complains about his roomate's Star Wars/Teen Titans obsession, yet he's got fannish obsessions of his own, let's not forget.
We know his meds helped his mood swings a lot and he can't be THAT far gone if he's perfectly capable of moving out (it's not like they have to strap him down every night for his own good). Whether he's capable of holding down enough of a job to meet basic rent remains to be seen.
Adam is still a whiney angsty VERY unappealing Mary Sue.

Remember the Stan Lee/Uncle Roy worshiiiiip....

Damn. Just damn. This is going to make riffing his work a little harder now.

Wow.. revelation city, indeed.
I'm with Bill. While this doesn't excuse the awfulness of his stuff(no, he's not some undiscovered genius), you really have to wonder what kind of life he's gone through to warrant councelled housing at 35+. In effect, it's like the ages from 12-30 were massively emotionally scarring and, now that he's trying to emerge from it, he can only take up where he left off - with the mental mind of a child.

Oh, and Zef, yes you did get the GontMaster's style down, at least in the run-on sentences that become run-on paragraphs, and the self-obsession, and the Mary Sue, and there was a squirrel than ran by my feet, except it didn't touch my feet, but the URL DOESN'T WORK; I think this will do, until the next time you update, at which point it won't, and the squirrel was grey, which I mention because 30 years ago I went to Oberlin college and there were albino squirrels everywhere! [random smiley]

Edited by author 09-30-2005 02:09 AM
It does explain a lot. Maybe the "$25 a week apartment" belief comes from living in some sort of subsidized housing. Maybe the "I have no time to update because I'm sleeping" comes from his counselors' forced Uno games, and trying to tune out his cellmate's obsessive Teen Titans watching.

After this minor revelation, I've gained both more understanding of Davey, and more sympathy for him. Obviously, he saw he had a problem and sought out some help for it, and moved out of Mom's to get it. Good for him. As bad as it's written, titling it "Lost Boy Found" may mean that he's trying to write himself out of 36 years of depression. And, while I can make fun of his writing, I can't make fun of his reason for doing it.

He's not living with his mother--he's in a group home of some kind!

Yes, with wicked counsellors as well. Sounds like the home for the mentally derange. How appropriate!

He's not living with his mother--he's in a group home of some kind!

Edited by author 09-29-2005 04:24 PM
This is not so much funny as it is sad. But still kind of funny.

WOAH GIANT SQUID WOOO! when i was little it was second only to dinosaurs, but i guess everyone felt like that around here.

I realized, as Mimi said, that it's more fun when everyone just trashes DVK together. to write comments on his stuff I'd have to stop posting here while i work to don't see your comments and don't get biased, a lot of stuff would be already said when i finished, and i don't have that kinda time right now. as much as i liked writing for Jimbo, It's kinda hard to justify doing so.

Anyway, i DID write a small something that i thought of yesterday.

My day, as written by DVK

(really it only shares the HUGE mary sueness, as i forgot to copy the style and it's marginally better written than his stuff)

Edited by author 09-29-2005 11:37 AM
The SPANISH monastery with a SYNAGOGUE is named St NORBERTS?

Based on the historic love of the Spanish for both Jews and English Saints. The former found its greatest expression in the 14th century Inquisition and its famous "Give a Jew an Even Break" campaign, and the latter comes from the age of exploration and the Spanish crown's policy of "Hey, there's plenty of New World for everyone!"

So, how about that giant squid?

[edit: hey, dummy... "it's"="it is". "Its" is possessive]

Invader Zim performs DragonballZ: http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=3GI2J6FG47QHR1I0E0KUJ1Y11H

That one chapter has so much evil MSTing opportunity
Bill:And at one point DVK calls him "Sache." Typo or Freud-slip?
You noticed that too, eh?
All we ask is that you clean your place and,” she winked, “deal with the crusts yourself.”
...I don't WANT to know what the wink is supposed to imply.
Stuff them into the severed stump of any classmate who crosses him? Let Vixen use them as some sick little sex toy?

I SO want to try drawing the outfit combo quoted from my last post. But I fear that would damn me in some way, I just can't put my finger on it...

Whoa, awfulness! When "Sache's son takes up his father's hook," does that mean the kid chopped his own hand off?

In chapter 3, I notice that the Tolkien Elf Indian is now a Cherokee. And at one point DVK calls him "Sache." Typo or Freud-slip?

...The SPANISH monastery with a SYNAGOGUE is named St NORBERTS? Whuh....whuh...How can anyone above the age of 8 be this stupid? Especially when the next thing we read is how smart he is?
Why not just blow all logic out the window and name it "St Mario of Myst Catholic Jew Zoroastrian Chapel of Love and Monkey House"? It's as exactly as believable.

The Spanish kid is the one with the bad accent? Then why does Jim say "Ah" in place of "I," exactly up to the point where he switches to "I" and stops saying "Ah" IN THE SAME SENTENCE?

"Miss Cora, give him something special on his first day, si?”

Oh, great. Even when I was a little kid watching "Hogan's Heroes" that would piss me off. Why do "foreigners" only speak their native language when they use simple words like "yes"?

He got an extra cheese and bologna sandwich cut across the corners to go with the large bowl of soup. “And like I said before, we’ll allow you to have a second helping if you want it, and as much drinks as you want over at the fountain. All we ask is that you clean your place and,” she winked, “deal with the crusts yourself.”

Wow...baloney sammitch, now THAT'S special. I'd say we're looking at some heavily autobiographical Mary Sue action here.
Speaking of baloney, why is it EVILLLL when Sache plays favorites with his students, but okay when Adam's the recipient? Just like how Adam's so not a bully when he sucker punches a kid in the crabapples and then cuts his father's fucking hand off.

Your foster mommy dressing you like Peter Pan, the guy she wanted to fuck, is very, very normal.

Mimi:
I got the pics back from the framing/matting place, and they came out great! The framers made mention of how everyone there loved the cat pic.

Well, off to torture myself Lost Boy style...He really thinks he can get published? Has he any clue on how the real world works?
No. We've established that. I hope he goes into great detail about his upcomming learning experience.
I remember telling a teacher that "My dad makes lots of money!" And she asked "How much?" I tabulated every imaginable expense, and said "A thousand dollars a year!" I wondered if my math was wrong when she laughed.
Of course, I was in third grade. I wonder how Davey's going to react when that first month ends, and the bills keep rolling in..."WATER?! I have to pay for WATER?!"

Kits:For that matter, who wants to bet that he'll only make one attempt at getting published?
And it'll be to the publisher of the M:TG books. No odds at all on that one ;)
After all, didn't he actually get a feedback letter when he sent that awful Magic story outline to them once?

As for the bits Fistlekits commented on, I LOVE how he feels the need to point out what FONTS he uses. It kinda reminds me of Calvin giving his report on bats/bugs and harping on about the spiffy clear plastic folder it's in.
all the notes, scratches, and whatnot are not to be seen by anyone else because it'll just disrupt the writing process.
Yeah, is that annoying or WHAT? Even if he took those out, he still has the bad habit of putting author's notes in the actual fic body.
Even if he had the writing skill of Pratchett/Gaiman etc, there's no way a publisher is going to accept something that rips off so many existing canons.

"Lookit what I scribbled." Man, that's some fancy Katamari fan art.

Gont's back in Mom's house Dec. 7. Over her dead body, I suspect, but he knows her habits well enough to keep the pension cheques coming in. Then he's back to writing ideas on bits of paper, running them through a bagless vacuum cleaner, and attaching what comes out to a sheet of foolscap in the order he picks it it-- y'know, writing a manuscript.

While I’m on the record, I’ll tell you how a piece is made: It starts off as a brainstorm, either as an idea in my head or tossing ideas around with others. When I have it in a form I can use, I put it down on paper for the first draft.

*HEADDESK* Duh, ass! This is how writing is done! Every writer--well, everybody--knows this, and it's nothing special with you.

And Davey? Writing with the door closed also means not letting anyone else see the first draft until you're finished. That means all the notes, scratches, and whatnot are not to be seen by anyone else because it'll just disrupt the writing process.

This piece isn't even a first draft! It's still chicken scratches in digital text form!

It is only after I’m certain that the final proof-reading and nit-picking is done with will I look for a publisher.

*palmforehead* This is basic common sense, Gontbutt; no editor is going to look at a manuscript cluttered with errors. There's no need to tell us.

In addition, most publishing companies don't look at unsolicited manuscripts anymore--they wind up in the slush pile. That's why you get an agent.

But I'll let Davey be sorely disappointed when his manuscript is returned with a rejection slip...

Also, Davey, sometimes it takes more than one try to get published. Sometimes you have to try a dozen different publishing companies before you find someone who's interested.

(Of course, a rejection will just give him an incentive to keep his LBF stories on his site and claim that the publishing companies just don't appreciate his "genius." For that matter, who wants to bet that he'll only make one attempt at getting published?)

Edited by author 09-28-2005 01:50 PM
Man, i SO wish i knew how to spoof a email addy so that i could send Davey a mail on behalf of microsoft asking for a banner, paying, say, $100. i bet he sells his 'principles' faster than Byron chases the laser dot.

Oh, yeah, today i don't have classes and was going to catch up on homework, so that's the perfect mood to again add comment to this new Davey draft! dibs on that! woohoo!

EDIT: I had made a comment BEFORE reading the draft. D'oh.

Ho-hoo, I am SO not waiting to be asked!
Phrack Whores, you HAVE to read these LBF drafts, they are HYSTERICAL:
His 'skeleton' outline of the book.
We learn a little more about the 'new' Lost Boys. Adam's 'self defense' plea is an absolute hoot.. and Stargate gets raped as well.
Chapter 3
Whoo doggies, hold onto something, this is 46k of pure pain. Adam appears to be adding The Boy Who Lived to his Marti Stu resume once he starts at his new school.
A few choice lines:
St. Norbert’s was founded as a Spanish Monastery and the synagogue still has the clay architecture
O_O.... OY my fadder who art in heaven!
“Ola?!” Roberto turned around, to find the reddish haired preteen behind him. “You’re Adam Packbell?”
Adam fidgeted a bit, “er . . . y-yeah.”
“Ol Lay Lay, we got us a celebrity in Norbert’s!!”
We have a new character and a new PAINFUL accent.
Adam and Vixen enjoy a night cosplaying together. In fact when Adam finds a treasure map to a little surprise in the basement, Vixen gets a little frisky on Adam’s tights.
...THEY'RE ELEVEN/TWELVE! >_<

Trust me, there is SO much I want to quote here, but won't for space.
I shall simply end on the final paragraph, a description of Adam and Vixen's school uniforms:
Old Western take on the more famous boy’s tights and tunic: The Tunic became a vest worn over a collared shirt, and the tights were boot-cut jeans with a button fly and a good-sized belt buckle. Add brown boots with detachable spurs and a Stetson with a red feather off to one side, and the desired image was complete. He even had a sword clipped to his side, although it wasn’t the short dagger. Hung to his side was a katana sword clipped inside his sheath. His motif has a classic Old Western style, but he still resembled the Peter Pan of the old English story.
The Vixen in his arms made a more departure from the blue Wendy costume she kept in her home. It matches Adam’s Western style though, with skin-tight jeans, a vest under a halter top that only went past her chest, and a pair of belts crossing over her hips. But she still makes sure that the most noted item was the silver acorn hanging between her breasts, matching the thimble hanging off Adam’s neck.

Oh god... and I'm just about to go to bed, too.
Will not think about Marcie in Ho!Vixen outfit, will NOT think about... fuck, too late. *sob*

I'm writing all the Davey pool guesses down, btw, so don't worry about this being forgotten ;)

Oh, btw, there's a new chapter of Lost Boy Found on his secret inner circle board. It's in Word format, so I had to get a reader to decode it. Anyone interested in reading it, I'll put it up...

Steve: I did think about doing that, but I figured it would be easier to register the domain through my website host. Instead, I get the feeling I just blew $10 I may never see again. I'm gonna check out GoDaddy and see what they offer.

Mimi: I thought more than a week was too long to register a domain. And yeah, not keeping up with software updates is pretty lazy. Pretty damned lazy and unacceptable. If she's too lazy or busy to keep up with the current software, she shouldn't bother maintaining a website provider.

I'm pissed. I mean, that's almost $60 I spent this year on this "service." I could have used that money on school supplies or gas.

-----

But onto sillier things. Lemme get in on the pool. I say that he lives alone for eight whole days, cries into his Ramen on the ninth, and runs home crying to Mom fifteen minutes later, at exactly 12:15pm.

Bah. He'll go home for Thanksgiving and never leave.

Me! I'll raise you and bet he's back at mom's by Christmas.
I'll even draw the poptart in question for the winner.

I fancy Smurfette flavoured Poptart..

Oh poor baby, he's joining the REAL WORLD! 36 and finally moving out of mom's place!

Now this should be interesting! I'll bet Davey's saved up over a hundred dollars to finance the move!

Who wants to join the office pool? I say he's back home by January. January 15th.
Anyone else? Winner gets a virtual Pop Tart. Any flavor you want!

Apparently "Amen" is Aremaic for "may it be so." I always wondered about that.

Edited by author 09-27-2005 06:16 PM
Kits: That's far too long. I'm with Hostway and it took only about 24 hours to activate my domains. That's at the same price - 10 bucks.

Ditch the bitch and go with another provider. Not even keeping up-to-date with internet browsing capabilities is very lazy.

Meanwhile, speaking of wanting out, Davey's moving!

Listening to: Does Glenn Beck's Archives count?
no, that's brain damage, you idjit.

Reading: M:TG 'Ravnica' by Cory J. Henderson,
*golf clap* I'm starting to think he won't read anything that doesn't have M:TG in the title...


If you have room in whatever qualifies as a prayer list for someone, please include me in that spot at this time.

I've just received word that I'll be getting my own apartment earlier today and I'm now in the process of transitioning from my old 'supported living' arrangement to a more independent environment on my own. As most of you know, this can be rather trying on all facets of a person's life, especially financially.

If I ever going to be needing help from above and from others, this is a proper time.

Oh poor baby, he's joining the REAL WORLD! 36 and finally moving out of mom's place!

The conversation on the front page of his Devart account is getting interesting. Volken Turbo(HondaWhiteFox) is either a very good troll or there's been a genuine misunderstanding here and he really is simply trying to apologise for it. I remember more clearly now that Volken got miffed that Davey wasn't covering his contributions with comments and praise. Davey's not buying it, as evidenced by this priceless quote:
D:And all I wanted to say when you posted that was that I was sorry that I had to work 3-4 days a week and sleep most of the time away from work to comment on every new picture that showed up on my in-box, which was the problem at that time.
He had to WORK 3-4 DAYS?? Get the salts, I may faint dead away from shock. 'Oh, sorry I couldn't comment, I had important sleeping to do'.
I'm starting to side with Volken on this one, if THIS is what Davey calls a 'full schedule'.

FK: You do not need to get your webhost to setup your domain registration. You can pick any domain registra for this. Also you then have control over it, this helps if the hosting outfit is a bunch of morons(which I have found to be a common thing). It also allows you to quickly change hosting providers as you control where your domain DNS servers are, not your hosting provider.

Ernst - Ah, another Katamari Damacy fan? Then you might check out what I doodled yesterday.

I have a question for the domain owners: how long did it take for your domain to be set up?

I paid my webhostess $10 to register the domain on the 20th of this month, and I haven't seen it yet. For some companies it takes 72 hours to set things up... but it shouldn't take more than a week, right?

[angry aside]
I'm wondering if I should have just dumped TWU and gone straight to ComfortHost this year; lately I've been noticing a diminishment in fine service (i.e., the webhostess changes her e-mail address every three months without warning so my emails go unanswered).

It doesn't help that the server hasn't upgraded to PHP 4.1 or later (we're still on 4.0.6), and that a lot of software I'd like to try on my site require 4.1 or later. She said, "We'll upgrade soon, I promise!" but that was about four months ago... Ferkrissakes, they're already coming out with PHP5!
[/angry aside]

-----

I haven't played much of the Silent Hill games, but I loved that flash! Made my day.

I want to know if he'd advertise porn ;)

Or furry porn?
What he could come up with if someone asked for a smokin' hot HUMAN WOMAN on the banner.... oh lord, I think a part of my brain just died trying to imagine the outcome...

Wanna bet that every $30 banner is a badly cropped head of Scarlett and the words "Got Vixen?"

Edited by author 09-26-2005 11:26 PM
Double post. I suck.

Davey:Businesses can contact me with your offer, and if I'm interested (Note: Microsoft need not apply)

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Oh noes! Microsquish have SO much to LOSE by not securing the VAAAAST viewing audience of Foxfire!

And I STILL can't find ANY reference to the Shazell story on that pagan site that's supposedly supporting it.

Chapter two: http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2010088&chapter=2

If you've ever played the Silent Hill games, this is the funniest thing ever: http://www.deviantart.com/view/23271206/

If you haven't, it's still pretty amusing.

Here's something that might cheer us all up: Davey doing banners.

$20 just to have my site's banner on his pissant little site... $30 to have my banner on his site and have him design it. *snerk* I'd say something semi-snarky, but my brain isn't up to it right now.

Fooo... yeah, that's a pretty laden item to run into after a few days off. At least there was some comfort at the end.

and I'm not going to get all blubby again, damnit.

Just to get back up to speed: Bill, the white goo was actually the "fish". Negs, I cringe with glee at a Katamari reference. Dr Who fans, Tom Baker's true self is revealed on the more-recently made Fort Boyard, a British game show in which he asks vexing riddles of the contestants. While (possibly) pretending to be drunk and insane.

I feel for that person who posted that entry. I can remember how painful it was for me, and how hard I cried, when I wrote about Aussie running away.

I need to hold Pepper now, and make sure that she stays by my side when we're sleeping tonight. And every night from now on.

After I cried, I curled up beside Reese on the floor and cuddled her. She seemed kind of confused.

Dammit Bill, that made me cry. And then it made me think about the two kitties I've lost.... WAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAA T.T

Yup, I will miss Martha.

I am also not ashamed to admit that I cried over the death of a cat only knew threw the net.
It must have hurt to post that last entry.

*is crying*

Oh no, why'd you have to link to that kitty post? *sobs* Poor poor kitties.

Mimi, today:
he's saying they got what was coming to them when Katrina knocked out their servers for a few days...they raised $18k in donations

Me, yesterday:
Davey is a retarded, talentless, right-wing dick-for-brains

Yep. Guess we're on the same page here.

Gourd DAMMIT, I'm blubbing like a baby after Abbie's last post....I'd be so embarassed if Mr Mimi wasn't out refuelling the car right now.

Bill:WTF does THAT mean? Is SA saying that the hurricane's carnage was okay with them, or is DVK saying that GOD smote them for making fun of him?
And when was he ever on SA anyway?
Excellent questions, Bill. As soon as I read that, I went to SA and did a search (thank you Platinum goon status ;)). He hasn't been talked about much at all there. He CERTAINLY has never had full threads dedicated to him, like on GAFF or PoE. Someone posted the odd funny dancing gif now and again of the old Jim Goodlow, but I dunno WHERE he got the idea that SA has (or ever HAD) him in their sights. The very few Gonter-refs I found on SA were met generally with replies of 'meh'.
As for the Karma thing, I think he's saying they got what was coming to them when Katrina knocked out their servers for a few days. It's definitely not the former, cause they raised $18k in donations and had members caught in both storms.
No farging clue, as always.*shaking head*

From Davey's DevArt account, in response to the Turbo guy:

"Something Awful (Katrina is Karma to them)"

WTF does THAT mean? Is SA saying that the hurricane's carnage was okay with them, or is DVK saying that GOD smote them for making fun of him?
And when was he ever on SA anyway?

I am a Japanese school teacher: http://outpostnine.com/editorials/teacher.html

I've gotta say, I've got trouble believing a lot of this stuff. Maybe I'm just naive. Very, very naive.

Edited by author 09-24-2005 06:52 PM
Zef: "Orrrr, you could use a hot, polemic topic"

Heh. Interesting you should say that, as I've just started a new project: http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2010088

So far it's un-betaed nad unedited, but I'll have to get to that later. BUSY DOING IMPORTANT SCHOOL STUFF NOW. SO IMPORTANT, IT IS.

If anyone wants to give pointers, I would not complain.

Edited by author 09-24-2005 05:53 PM
Orrrr, you could use a hot, polemic topic, and find how to to write about it in a way that a vast majority of people will like, and then churn out book, after book, after book, with the same danged pattern, like oh, i dunno, *cough*DanBrown*cough*. that's why i'm going to translate for a living. Don't YOU give up on me, though. *pats pats*

Haha, yesterday i went to McD's. pretty good. then again, us mexicans eat a whole lot of interesting stuff, like cow brains, and probably our GIs are stronger due to most food being at least somewhat natural and not processed. (but i've never been abroad, so who knows, US citizens could have a lot of natural food and eat cow brains on a regular basis)

Edited by author 09-24-2005 04:53 PM
In that vein, I keep having these moments where I think I'll never be a writer and I'm a fool for ever thinking I will. I look at my junk and think, Jesus, I don't even know what I'm doing here. Everyone likes what they like, and nobody's tastes are the same. Why even bother trying to be good?

Then I think, no, I've read this: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...60?v=glance&s=books
And I've read this: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...60?v=glance&s=books
And very soon I will read this: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...60?v=glance&s=books
I know all the rules! I just have to keep consistently aplying them!

And then everything is okay for another day.

New story: http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2013720

Another school thing.

Volken Turbo was a guy who showed up on the Foxfire message boards last year for a while. He was all interested in doing Livewire latte RPG or whatever and actually did some fanart of Adam and some plans for Livewire sets. But then.. *something* happened, I can't remember the specifics. I don't think he was a troll, per se, he just didn't know when to keep his mouth shut and started ranting at some point. Davey then pretty much severed all ties with him and deleted off all the art Volken had done. I believe at the time we conceded that Volken WAS being a bit of an arse, for the reasons you just stated, Bill.
He was no huge loss.
I think Davey IS aware that he has no chance of getting any real respectable fame for his work, or he wouldn't keep playing the Ed Wood card. Problem is, he can't even do THAT right. It IS possible to be crap and be able to laugh at yourself and have everyone laugh with you, but he's FAR too unsophisticated to have any real skill beyond 'LOOK, I'm PIMPING MY STUFF LOLOLOLOLOL!!'
What I find fun about engaging Gonty directly is that it is completely possible to deliver an insult disguised as a compliment or even an ambiguous statement and he won't spot it.

Remember Volken Turbo

...No.

Is the guy just a troll? The fact that he announces himself in a "I'm your worst nightmare!" tone doesn't make me side with him. Davey is a retarded, talentless, right-wing dick-for-brains, but he's never seemed to me to be worth more than the scorn we give his "art." I'll make fun of him, but not right in his face. That's just pointlessly cruel. If he can't figure out what a dimwit he is on his own, I'm not going to ring his doorbell with a wake-up Dorkygram.

So...what's the Volken Turbo story?

Bill - your latest tale reminds me of the reason I will not ever eat at McDonald's or Burger King. Once, when I was 10, I had lunch at one of those places, and spent the next two days hideously sick with food poisining. During those two days my brain was hardwired to equate McDonald's & Burger King (they strike the same neuron with me) with poison.

Davey-Kins' latest comic... how disturbing. We do not find it amusing. We do not understand it. It has no style. It is small. It is colorless. It is, in fact, everything my tights are not. Your task, tiny Prince, is to grow your katamari until it is large enough to crumple that page around, and then drop it in the garbage can. I can believe in you for 3 minutes.

Wow...that wasn't very good!

I hate it when the scanner screws up a perfectly good strip image.

?? Can anyone see what he's talking about? What, did the scanner depict his actual drawing as it is?
Maybe the scanner made all the mispelinges.

He's back on The Flakes' permanent schedule again. I wonder if he made them whimper and whine before he bestowed his benevolent long-term prescence. Bet that did wonders for his modesty.
I also wonder what's with the second overt pimping in a row of his other trash on The Flakes. Maybe he wants 2 more spots on their schedule?

I am profoundly disturbed by the 'cop's' hand gesture. Kind of like an 'oro?' in mime. Done by anyone other than a saucer-eyed lolita tot wearing cat paws and bunny ears, it's just wrong.

I was wondering about the hand gesture too. It pops up in all of his drawings, I guess because it's the only one he can draw. Davey's nothing if not a one trick pony.

The poor cop's got more problems than just a deformed hand. Apparently he was born with an abnormally thin neck and no mouth. And now a criminal is so desperate to get out of the comic that he's willing to go down on him.

Oh, by the way, Sylvester McCoy is THE Doctor Who. All the others are just imitations. It's the scarf.

Edited by author 09-23-2005 08:58 PM
Speaking of ongoing intestinal concerns, New Scarlet is up.
Oh Davey, you little dickens, don't we all just LOVE it when you try to be self-parodying!
I am profoundly disturbed by the 'cop's' hand gesture. Kind of like an 'oro?' in mime. Done by anyone other than a saucer-eyed lolita tot wearing cat paws and bunny ears, it's just wrong.
So why is Scar hiding, if attacked him in self-defense, she's famous and has fans (we assume, for being such a good person and champion of the little people?)
Must... not... quip.. 'Arrest him for writing this dreck!'
>_<

Mini-drama in progress: Remember Volken Turbo, former message boarder of davey's who got a hair up his arse and pissed off? He's found Davey's Devart account, check out the comments on the front page. Then I found this little gem from Davey in the last Community Updates message:
I have an unrelated question: What do you need to do if you have some problems with someone else who would want to see you banned from DeviantArt--and even somehow gets you warned
/banned--but you yourself haven't done anything that wouldn't be kosher, and you are a paying customer may I add. I'm saying this because I know of a group of people who would love to see my site taken away from me, and I think I heard of one of these people's names get dropped. So far nothing else has happened that would raise a stink. Yet.

Whine Whine Whine Me Me Me....9_9
Methinks I detect a bit of good ol' paranoia here? Whether you subscribe or not means squat at Devart. You violate rules, you get banned, easy as that. As painful as his stuff is, I have to say I haven't seen him break any rules that I know of.
Gont Gont Gont... those of us who REALLY hate you would HATE to see your site go down. We'd have nothing left to mock, then! :)

Billy boy...once again, your gastrointestinal travails are a source of ongoing great concern. Particularly since, as you've noted, it's not like your poor system was overly robust to begin with. (I originally typed, "gastrointensive," which sadly kinda works too.)

But just to jump on the current Whovian thread, a story I don't think I've mentioned herein before. (And if I did, I'm sorry, and I really wasn't trying to make a point through repetition...blame the brain cells I've lost to chemical overindulgence in the past.)

Lemme establish upfront that my favorite Dr. Who was Sylvester McCoy. (Yes, I know, I'm weird...which results in creativity! [Thanks, Joel.]) In contrast to the supposed norm, the first Doctor I ever saw was NOT my favorite--and anyone who tries to tell me how fabulously archetypal Tom Baker was Will Be Harmed...karmically, if naught else. (I like hammy, over-the-top as much as the next guy...just not his particular rendition.)

Anyhoo, last time I was in London, my friends got me to go to this play, primarily cos it was a) one of Joe Orton's, b) had Adam Ant in it, and c) also starred Sylvester McCoy. A girl gets a chance to see her Doctor más favorito in person, she takes it!

When we got there, we found it was in a very small theatre, VERY intimate. And in order to get to our seats, we had to essentially cross the outer part of the stage, where the cast was already milling about, ostensibly in character.

Know that sensation when you know someone's looking at you, but for whatever reason you don't quite believe it? But it continues nonetheless? My friend Jeff nudged me as we were heading up to our seats, but I had to look back twice to confirm what he was laughing about.

As weird sensations go, this was right up there: realising that your favorite Doctor Who is unquestionably checking out your ass. (Sure, I was in a short skirt, but it's by far *not* my best feature.) In any case, he still IS my favorite Doctor, though I've always wished I could have seen the Rowan Atkinson parody as well (who I think of as kinda the British Eugenio Derbez, Zef! Can you see the separated-at-birth potentialities? ;)

The Beeb have an office in Sydney? Okay, learn something every day..

I'll have to tell my sister that. She's just about to arrive back from several years at the Beeb in London. She's probably walked past the original Marvin robot several times!

Edited by author 09-23-2005 06:51 AM
OK. On the way here (virtually), I pass the BBC

A couple of years ago I was out at the BBC in North Sydney, they have a Dalek in their reception area.
Way cool.
What amazed me was the height of the thing, it was only about 4 1/2 to 5 foot high.
I have downloaded PDF plans for making my own Dalek. One day when I have the tools, time and area I am going to build my own.
I so want a Dalek in my bedroom.

EXTERMINATE !!!1!1!!one!!!1!eleventy!!.

Edit: because I cannot spell the subject of my post o_O

*slinks in, pretends like she's been here all along*

So, uh, how 'bout that Davey-kins? He's a real loon, isn't he?

On my way here (physically) I pass the local sucky-'cuz-it's-the-only local paper.

Headline: "Texas Ready for Rita"

OK. On the way here (virtually), I pass the BBC

Headline: "Gridlock Traps Millions Fleeing Rita"

Oh, dear. On the subject of safety from natural disasters, up here in South Central Saskatchewan, all we get is crazy cold. It's a lot easier to dress for than tsunami and earthquake.

No, the pic itself isn't meant to be 80's. I just took an 80's outfit and used it for inspiration. Her tartan hotpants were stirrup pants in the original and her top was a very baggy red button-up sweater. I just used the colours.

"Doin' the Haggis Rag"... luvvin' it :D

Mimi:

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/23135897/

That's 80s? She looks straight out of a 1933 Busby Berkeley musical. From the Scottish-themed numbers, "I Got My Man in Scotland," and the show-ender "(We're Doin') the Haggis Rag!"

Here be the bit from Piers Anthony's author's note that I was looking for yesterday:

One reader wrote at length arguing that either Jesus was a stark, blithering lunatic who should have been put away, or he was correct when he claimed to be the son of God, with all that implies. No; this is a fallacy of limited thinking. The world is not black/white, it embraces all the shades of gray in between. Jesus did not have to be one or the other; he could have been a man who felt a strong need to reform the evils of the world, and whose parables were misunderstood by those who took them literally instead of grasping their messages. What mischief is wrought by those who take Jesus' words in vain--without realizing it! Jesus claimed to be the son of God? Of course he was. We are all children of God.

He's an agnostic, but he does repsect other people's right to practice relgion--provided it isn't used to further any sinister agenda.

I recall reading one of his newsletters (published online in 1998, if I recall correctly) where he said that all the publishers wanted from him was Xanth. If they got one Xanth novel a year, they were satisfied, because Xanth had become a brand name, and brands sell. In addition, he mentioned that his income was decreasing and he'd been bumped off the Bestseller list. And he feels obligated to answer every letter that he gets from his fans, no matter how obtuse, insulting, or repetitive they are--and most letters have suggestions for puns. He makes it a point to use every pun he gets; he uses at least 100 in every Xanth novel now, as evidenced by the long list of credits at the end of the author's note.

I personally believe that he's pressured into writing what many consider "Crap Xanth," because he desperately wants to keep making the money he made during the height of his career and remain a Bestseller, and he wants to please everyone who enjoys his work. (There's a joke that people only read Xanth to see how godawful it is.)

Does that Wiccan website actually SAY anywhere that they're supporting the Shazellstory? I don't think I've seen it advertised anywhere on the site.
Davey's just posting the stuff on Foxfire like all the other stuff he's done under his own volition.

Why does he think that being OBVIOUS in pimping his stuff is funny or even POLITE? What huge joke am I missing here? When someone faves a piece on my devart account, I usually go check out their account. Sometimes I find a nice artwork and fave it. Sharing the art-love, s'what it's all about.
When someone even COMMENTS on Davey's, the response is invaribly 'Thanks, feel free to be interested in ME some more!'. What major lesson on accepting compliments gracefully did he miss?

Edited by author 09-19-2005 10:56 PM
In case you were wondering what Davey's "Talk Like a Retar--, err, PIRATE Day" strip was about:
(WARNING! It's The Flakes.)

http://snowflakestudios.keenspace.com/d/20050919.html

Arr, oh me sides be splittin'. Avast, tis a mighty larfter. Oy, fuck, kill me now.

(edit: so no one misconstrues, what I mean is that "Talk Like a Pirate Day" is officially LAME now that the Flakes have done it)

The main site promises that there will be no new Scarlett for this week, or possibly for the next 2 months (!). So, Mimi, you might've been right about him bailing on Scarlett for Shazell.

I wonder if this new interest in Shazell is because his new friend is a female woman girl with breasts who doesn't literally weigh nearly a quarter-ton like Marcie, and he's found that he has a big, hard enthusiasm comming for this new project?

I think you have to have authors like Piers Anthony to balance out the prolific awesomeness of authors like Terry Pratchett.

God helps THIS dude.

While David Gonterman is fun to analyze and poke fun at, I think my interest in him might be waning a bit. But that's only because I've discovered Piers Anthony--who's somewhat like Gonterman in the fact that the stuff he churns out is utter crap (the stuff he writes today, that is; back when he first started, he was remarkable) and has a massive ego.

Yet there's another side to the man that completely amazes me: he actually stops his ego-stroking for a while to make poignant statements, particularly about culture and religion (I'll have to dig a good one up from one of the books at home). He can be quite intelligent at times.

All in all, he sounds like a decent person... but if he would just stop obsessing about himself, ladies' underwear, breasts, and stop claiming he's not sexist*, I think I'd like him a whole lot more.

* He makes this claim often, by which I have to assume that he doesn't realize how often the women in his novels get naked, have their underwear peeped at, etc.

Oh, I dunno, Bill. I think the text stuff is perfectly Mistable(I only wish he'd done more of Mistic Mice, that was RANK!) - let's face it, if Davey did that first Lady Shazell story as a comic, it'd take around 75 installments,
It's EASIER to MSt a story, since all we have to do is type. As Negs will attest, visually MSTing the comics takes a little longer.
But technically, it'd be easy to just put each comic on a page and attach a comments board to the bottom of it so anyone can pipe up with a quip and they're all kept together with the page in question.

Meh, i thought i just had

My bad! Yes, you did a forthright pummeling of his Petery Panny crap.
I guess that I meant his text stuff isn't as unMystable as his molasses-like comics.

Meh, i thought i just had. then again, i've never ever even watched the show, so it's true when i say i just added comment. i'd do it more, (indeed, Jimbo's kinda itching to do so again, for he digs the thrill of the hunt and has a high pain treshold, which i don't) but most of what i'd say is said here already, as Mimi remarks X3 I loved Negs' comments too, the Cunninham thing threw me to the floor, i didn't remember Spin Tales anymore, but i did like it while it lasted.

I'm not sure that it's possible to "properly" Myst his newer stuff (ie, line by line or panel by panel), due to the fact that nothing ever phrackin' happens.

Mm, me too, Negs. I cartoon-msted the entire first chapter of Nightwalkers, the entire sole chapter of his aborted 'Mystic Mice' and the first 5 pages of that godawful DisneyEcho RP fic he did with Marcie and Drew Rhine (and a few others). I was getting on a roll with that one, but the Echo has gone TOTALLY AWOL and my link has gone dead, so the rest of the fic is lost.
The thing is, Davey never saw any of those. The last two were particularly vicious and might have deflated his ego (which isn't necessairly a BAD thing, but he knows who I am now ;)).
Sometimes I'm tempted to go through all Bill's Quicktopic boards and gather up all the Scarlet PI commentary. Voila, instant MSTing :)

I think Davey did mention that people could MiST his works under the CCL. It's funny - when someone first MiSTed him - "The Rangers of NIMH" - his reaction was "It's about time!" and he put it up on his site proudly and asked for more. That's when I started doing the Ghost Planet MiSTs. He loved the attention. Later on, after someone did an over-the-line cruel MiST of an over-the-line-gawdawdul-even-for-Davey fic (Sailor Moon: Ameican Kitsune) he suddenly hated MiSTing and all the MiSTs that had ever been done to his works. I think that he's inviting MiSTing once again because he's not in the middle of anything, people have mostly gotten tired of him, he's not active in any fandoms - all adding up to he's not getting much attention. MiSTs are attention.

Sometimes I feel like dragging the Space Ghost silhouette clip art file out again, but then I remember how I felt when I started to MiST the fourth (and sadly lost) chapter of The Mobius Chronicles. I was getting sick of Davey's ego-wank fic by then, and after he detonated I just said forget it. It'd take something pretty special to make me start up again, I think.

Oh! I dun fergot--

Yyyyup, that's one SPARSE living room.

Actually, if you replace the magical desk-doohickies with a computer and the altar with a TV, that pretty well describes the living room of the house I was previously renting. 550 square feet in a house abolishes the notion of "sparse" unless you grew up Japanese.

Of course, knowing D'Vee, we're going to eventually learn of an olympic-sized pool and some tennis courts squirrelled away in the back of the cottage (which will take the rent up to damn near $40 a month!)

Y’ needn’t be ‘fraid of me, m’ boyo

I wonder if that's a reference to M'Boyo !Ksawzi, the fabled King of All Bushmen who kept appearing in 18th century Portuguese fiction.

At the end, he sticks this: The readers of this series is invited and encouraged to all ‘Free Use’ practices-including derivative works-provided that they a) give David “Daveykins FoxFire” Gonterman credit for this original work, b) It is not done for commercial works, and c) any modifications and derivations are licensed with a similar manner. It strikes me as an invitation for MSTing, really. Of course, since most of his current output is more tedious than entertaining, it's not really worth the effort.

Edited by author 09-17-2005 10:56 PM
let's see.. we have a desk spilling over with magickal doohickies, table with big-arse crystal ball, 2 chairs, brooms, a huge rug surrounded with candle-holder and an altar adorned with more magickal doohickies.
Yyyyup, that's one SPARSE living room.

Call me daft, but I thought Wiccans weren't as hung up on modesty as most of us are, communing with the earth and Gaia and all that. So why on earth would she call her undies 'unmentionables' and talk of making herself 'decent'?

"Y’ needn’t be ‘fraid of me, m’ boyo"
...here, have a LEEK!
Okay, so we have traces of Ebonics, Jew, Irish, Scots and Welsh all in one character. This is gonna be fun :)...

In other Gonter-spottings, he replied recently to a Devart journal entry of mine. I was having a rant about the rampant copying done by clueless fangirls over there, and he commented to reassure me of his integrity:
I hear you there. While I may use the infamous lightbox to copy a pose,(He DOES?? I wonder if he's figured out you have to turn the lightbox ON...) I always always ALWAYS either use my own FoxFire Characters or give the existing Disney character a good remix. You can just look at a certain sketch in my Lost Boy Found notebook (link) ) for an example. I don't do the "Xerox as Art" bit.
Damn, I think I just inadvertantly implied that I respect him because he doesn't trace-copy. Never mind that everything he has ever created is ripped off from something else is not mentioned here ;)

WHERE DID THIS BRUISE ON MY LEG COME FROM?

“Oy, it ain’t Halloween, Shazell, and y’ ain’t gonna be introducing a child to Wicca t’day. Let’s go fo’ the basic white."

So...she wears an ankle-length skirt, but picks out the color of her pantyhose based on whether or not she's "introducing a child to Wicca"?
Don't wanna know, don't wanna know...

Edited by author 09-17-2005 04:36 PM
Rebecca Cunningham (from TaleSpin) wants her wig back now.

“YEEOOOOOW!”

She looked down as Kira rubbed herself against her bare leg.

What, is the cat covered with sharp, backward-pointing scales like a shark? When you pet her the wrong way does it tear up your hand?

“Oy, it ain’t Halloween, Shazell, and y’ ain’t gonna be introducing a child to Wicca t’day. Let’s go fo’ the basic white. There y’ go.”

Uh... is she Black? Southern? Jewish? Her accent is meandering all across the planet. It's worse than the verb tense, which is only hopping back and forth between present and past.

The pentagram fell between her now-covered breasts, pointing straight up to guide any frontal looks back up to her eyes.

*laughs* If you want people to look at your face, put something shiny and unusual right between your boobies! Every gal knows that!

“I be glad that it does, my Lady. I think I have that vat filled out f’ ya.” Shazell dug through her purse to pull out a good-sized container and handed it to Karen.

She obviously has a Bag of Holding left over from Davey's Magic: The Marketing days.

“I be surprised about me herbalore being so popular with ye, my dear.”

Well, blow me down! Arf arf arf!

As for the pic of Lady Cunningham hugging the kid, well, I just have no words. Well, no polite words.

I like italics.

Edited by author 09-17-2005 04:27 PM
And lo, it begins!

http://www.foxfirestudios.us/stories/shazell/episode1p1/

I'll comment as I read it. You'll prly want to read the story first; it's short.



"Motorized birdbath"? Motorized birdbath? Does it have a jacuzzi? Is it a teeny tiny NASCAR racer?

Wow...that's quite an inventory she has. I love reading lists of crap. Boy, I hope he doesn't ruin the story with a plot!

Strangely, they are not always after her Lucky Charms. I don't know why I kept thinking that they would.

Sure, no one knows about her isolated, woodland cottage. It's a whole half-mile from a busy street and the Dairy Mart. Exactly the same as my condo! I wonder why people seem to know my complex exists? Must be the lack of woods.
edit: Hey, wait, there's woods on 3 of the 4 sides here! I guess you need that magic number of 7/8ths woods. Only 1/8th of a woods more, and I'll be invisibobble!

Holy schotz! She really DOES have Lucky Charms that little kids are after! And it's not meant as a joke! And this is even more amazing--he spells it toward!! He really did get a spell check. All he needs is a grammar check, and he'll be cranking out Magic:TG novelizations like crazy!

And then it ends, with nothing happening. Okay, so he also needs a plot check.

Gont obviously has only a few ways to delineate "personality" in his characters. One is to give them a bad accent. Another is to steal someone else's character. The heroes are all just him with cosmetic variations, such as being Queer Eyed or have a bad leg.

My DSL went down while I was FTPing a new News, so it uploaded a blank page. It's back up now.

Well, since no one's commented on the ads for a while-- how the hell did our past week's dribblings conjure "Anger Management" and "Canadian Cultural Diverisity"? I'm actually gonna click on the latter....

And to second Mimi: News go poof! Baaaad! Scared!

Hey Bee-yil, how come your Newest News page is coming up empty? I had to find this comments page via past months ;)

Ernst: I THINk her accent is just meant to be a gentle Irish brogue, but as usual, he's mangled it totally.
And re. Shazell's "cat", you'd think a confirmed furry like Gont would make SOME effort with animal anatomy, but instead the cat walks like it's two people in a bad suit ;p

I was revisiting the PoE Firefox boards last night. Hasn't been updated in a while, but I found an entire huge thread on the new Scarlet PI which I hadn't read yet, kewlies :)

These multiple posts are starting to get kind of spam-y. My apologies.

Lord of War: http://www.amnestyusa.org/lordofwar/

You know, I WOULD write stories like this if I thought I had the knowledge to do it justice. Hopefully someday.

I think I'll plagerize Isometric and write a story that starts with the sentence "Sometimes I think the black kids have it all figured out." The moral of the story, of course, being that black kids are just as screwed up as white kids. Do you think that's human condition-y enough?

ARRGH! Today in Origin of the Arthurian Legend class I had a brainstorm for a comedy series about a sister and brother horror-novel-writing duo named Elsie and Friedrich Bergman. They'd write bad yet best-selling novels that feature sex and violence and not much else. Their novels would be nowhere near as interesting as their daily lives, in which they would encounter monsters, aliens, ghosts, zombies, and death robots, all of whom they tend to find sexually alluring rather than actually scary. It would be neat if I could actually write those stories and turn them in for fiction-writing class. TOO BAD IT'S NOT ABOUT THE HUMAN CONDITION.

ARRGH, I say.

I am so glad that I don't own this Guys cat.

(Stumbling back from the update page)
OK, usually I can tell what kind of accent Gonterini is butchering. I'm lost. Some sort of Yiddish-Irish-Central African creole? Is she a witch from planet Uller? Holy Jingles.

I have witch friends. One coined the name "McWiccan" for stuff like this. All the fairytale-y trappings and crap and superficial, if any, real knowledge. If you read any Terry Pratchett you know the type.

At first I thought he was reviving Night Soldiers, and I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Better than than nis MST Nitro thing... no, wait, the latter would be better. In that one the fuckbot was a Playboy bunny instead of a fox.

No, but you're the first one to make decent fanwork...

Hey, apparently I'm not the first human to make a Hsu and Chan fanwork!

http://mortifiedpenguin.tripod.com/spacey/id34.html

"Not when he's got the Flakes, who seriously consider him a genius."

Some part of me died reading that.

Edited by author 09-15-2005 07:12 PM
Looking at that update page (where DVK unintentionally lists "Lady Shazell" as "Lady Scarlett"--see, that boy's mind never wanders far from his foxy fuckbots), I see him saying he's donating $5 a month to that hate-radio goosestepper. What I do NOT see is how this helps Katrina victims. The closest thing I can see involving any form of "donation" on that page is $5 a month to listen to Herr Beck's podcast. Which is unsurprising, comming from a guy who hates Muslims, fags and blacks (at least that community college English teacher who gave him bad grades--SHE must've been rascist herself, for how else could she find anything wrong with Davey's prose?).

Oy... has anyone checked out Foxfire lately?

Great minds & etc--I was there last night, trying to find his submission to that Magic:TG contest. (Not the one with Jamie that's there, but the one with just Planeswalker on the island. If it still exists, I can't find it)

How long until he loses interest in Scarlett PI

Never will happen. Not when he's got the Flakes, who seriously consider him a genius. He's been waiting 10 years to find a place where the bottom's so low, the feeders there look up at him.

Night Soldiers is the one I'll bet never starts. Although the prospect of Davey doing a "romance" is hilarious. Inevitably, at some point for the romance to continue, the witch will have to turn herself into a vixen.

BTW, Nut Sackers has the stupidest drawing of a cat EVAR.

It's funny-- the "Wiccians" I know all have, what is called by the English I think, not-goofy-made-up names. It's not, alas, the flakiest Newage web site I've seen, but does share Gont's need of a proofreader ("witchcaft", and the ever popular "Things To Be Weary Of..."; you bet I'm weary). Maybe the encouragement is a naughty witch's way of having her own giggle at the Gontlet.

Man, that Johnny Depp. I'm not sure I'd say he saved "Pirates", but he certainly made it, of the ride-based movies made thus far, the one least likely to make you want to pull your own head off while watching. I wonder when they're going to get around to The Matterhorn....

Edited by author 09-15-2005 10:04 AM
Oy... has anyone checked out Foxfire lately? It seems that his constant server troubles aren't convincing him that perhaps God is trying to PROTECT the world from his guff, and he's updating again.
His Smartgroups account has a bunch of extended Lost Boy Found scenes which I copied and pasted into a single file (I'll put it up if anyone's interested in reading the usual self-indulgent man-boy crap).
Oh, but the BIG news is that Lady Whatserface and the Marty-Stu with the crutch and leg brace are back in another magic comic - basically, he's reviving Night Soldiers. . Here's his very wafty, purple benefactor. I hope she tells him that 'Wiccian' is not a word, either.
From his blurb:
Two people from different worlds, but come together by one part unseen force and one part Young Adult Infatuation for a purpose. A purpose which will be revealed in piecemeal fashion as they go.
So in other words - NO PLOT! Everyone get comfortable...

How long until he loses interest in Scarlett PI(with still no plot happening) for this one? Any bets?
Check out the message board, too... the attempts to get a D&D RP going are pretty funny. One of the characters, 'Richard Kronos' sounds familiar. Isn't he one of the mods on Disney Echo?
Oh, this cracked me up. On his updates page, he proudly announces that, in changing his server space AGAIN, he has now saved five bucks a month which he will be donating to the Glenn Beck Project. While I have nothing against donating to help Katrina victims, isn't it just TYPICAL that Gonty donates his money to a right-wing radio jock rather than the Red Cross like everyone else... 9_9

Johnny Depp is awesome. If Depp is in it, I will watch it.

Though he couldn't save Pirates of the Caribbean.

Lav-- That story becomes one about psychological demons with the addition of one line:

When his wife called him for dinner, he put away the credit card statements.

OK, it needs polishing.

Lavender:Maybe I should write about Gonterman next.
Why not, if there's a walking poster boy for psychological demons, it's him ;)
Make it a huuuuge parody of him. Or is the writing meant to be serious> (Feh, serious is no fun...;))

Here's the story she didn't like, up at FictionPress: http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=2006893

If yer wonderin' why it's so short, it's because we only had 20 minutes to write it.

Maybe I should write about Gonterman next.

Why can't cha write about Demons? it's not like they don't populate everyday life.

Wahoo for wire cuttin' kitty rescuin'!

And yeah, having ingrown nails in both toes, i know that you DO use them to walk. i feel like a Deinonychus now, though.

Argh! My fiction-writing teacher didn't like my last story because it wasn't "psychologically complex" enough. Said I should be writing about psychological demons instead of literal demons. HOW AM I GOING TO GET THROUGH THIS CLASS IF I CAN'T WRITE ABOUT DEMONS? It's impossible. I think I'll turn in the Misandry Story and see if she likes that any better. She did, however, say I could make millions of dollars one day, which is really all I'm after. I guess I just aim low.

Whoa! The more I hear about Davey's past, the less I want to know. Same with his political views, global corpse urinals and all.
Nice, ahh, War of the Mullets going on in the pic, though.

http://www.foxfirestudios.us/tikiwiki/tiki...hp?page=SailorUsagi
Daveykins fanfic written by Mr. Kins and someone going by the name "Bob Smith," which doesn't sound like a pseudonym at the furry love motel at all.

As to who wrote what, at first it's hard to tell. The fact the main character is not one of Davey's Larry Sues is actually kind of offputting, but there's that classic "start in one tense, end in another" habit, plenty of real typos ("happyiess") and the kind that spell checks don't catch (like "conscious" for "conscience"). And it clearly never got proofed, as you'll discover halfway through page 2.

I guess "Bob" wrote most of it, as the protagonist doesn't have something as ridiculous as being changed from a gay man to a sexxxy fox fuckbot with 5-lb twats happen to him. No, "The tech stepped away, and a tube slid down encasing Rory's body inside. More arms came down from it, three holding a cotton tail and two large white fluffy feet..." Yeah, they turn him into a sexxxy female bunny fuckbot. In a scene that's supposed to be scary. And then there's lots of sadism mixed with horniness for the Dolly Parton bunny. It's beyond DVK's usual level of kink--but not some much that he didn't put it on his page. And splooge his keyboard too, I'll bet.

I'm not going to comment at length, but:
How else did I enter Kindergarden in the Accelerated track and leave sixth grade on Social Promotion?
The former-- probably the same as me: born late in the year, and it's either start school some months before the typical age or be damn near a year older than the rest of the following class AND have all the kids of my age make fun of me. Just think, Gont, it could have been worse.
The latter-- Sometimes a banana is just a banana, and sometimes a screwup is an organic development. Direction of causation is tricky with bad brain phemonena.

Love the kids' portrait, Mimi! Greetings, New Kid Darth!

Whoa... a bit of Gonterman we missed! He's posted a 'thesis' on Lost Boy Found on his (still very quiet)Wiki.
What's bizarre is that it's actually coherent to read with no typos. Warning, it DOES get a bit like the 'Boy' poem...

Starts off as your typical diatribe against the school system and the supposed sanctioning of bullying:
How else did I enter Kindergarden in the Accelerated track and leave sixth grade on Social Promotion?
... your parents showed up at the wrong classroom on the first day of school?
It doesn't matter that I didn't put a gun to anyone; in fact, some people wonder what I'm waiting for
Ironically, that's probably the only thing that would bring him the fame he craves 9_9

We all know of someone who was labeled the uber-fag in school. (Note to Homosexuals: When a schoolchild is being called a 'Fag', sexual identity is the least of his problems.)
Thanks, Gont. I'm sure that would NEVER have occurred to any gays reading this. Ta for pointing that out 9_9

My real life story didn't start in the Hellhole that was Granite City District #9. Nor did it start with the break from reality I've suffered in the teenage and early adult years where I withdrew into a fantasy world. It started in the mid 90s, when I began my gradual return to the real world, using the Internet and my own very nurtured imagination to build my own place in the human race.
O_O... THIS is his return to the REAL world???
Just.... *WHAT???*
Makes you wonder how deluded he was in the early 90's...

Fortunately, there was two movies and a book to help me: The two movies were “Return to Neverland” and “Finding Neverland”
Oh crap, and it was BBC who suggested Return to Neverland to him, too. Sorry, gang, it's my fault! /_
There's no pedos in the real Neverland. Even the Pirates weren't pedos. Hook won't allow it.
Cuz he's on first-name terms with James Hook, of course.
If the real Neverland is Vegas in his mind, there may not be pedos, just hookers, drugs and lots of gambling and ugly carpet. Funnnn...
The story also diverts from familiar territory and focuses on one of Peter's Lost Boys who finds himself in Las Vegas. There he grows up, but on his own terms, and ends up becoming an equal to his former leader.
Did PETER have an android fuckbot? I don't THINK so, sugah!

Can Global Positioning Satellites replacing the second star to the right; “... <that> only works in London.” Can the Internet can be used to clap a fairy back to life. Can the internal combustion engine work with Pixie Dust Nitros? What would happen if Captain Hook goes up against Joint Strike Fighters? And would he upgrade his hook with a bio-mechanical prosthesis?
*jams fist in mouth to save gut from busting*
These are fruits you must not taste, Davey. Leave it to the guys who made Spy Kids, for the love of Ghourd!...

And did you take a look at how he saw Wendy? He thought she was 'hot,' and Tink's dust still works on her!
(he's talking about the end of Return to Neverland, when Peter meets adult Wendy)
Nnnno, he was puzzled and disappointed that she'd grown up, but accepted she was still Wendy, his FRIEND, when Tink sprayed her. He even called her 'Madam', not 'HAWT MAMA!!'

That's the kind of accomplishment that we need in these day and age, now that we're sharing the skies with a violent chunk of an whole religion who'd have no qualms of blowing us all to hell while another chunk of an whole planet waits with full bladders to use what's left of our carcasses as a global urinal. The kid and teenager today has to worry about a violent part of an entire religion wanting to kill them for no reason and a good chunk of the whole planet wanting to use their dead body as a urinal. For this kind of hatred, just like with the school environment, this kind of hatred needs no reason. The people need an escape hatch from this askew view of the real world, an escape that doesn't involve a 15-year break from reality like I went through.
Mm-hm, and that's geo-political screed present and accounted for *checks off list*
Oh I see, he's out to be GURU-GONTERMAN, shaman of bullied kids everywhere (kids who, unlike him, will likely get over it and live normal well-adjusted lives)
And like kids and teens would worry about terrorism more than whether their cel phone matches their jeans. Teens will be teens and will always have the attention span of a booger.

Sorry about the length, but this is GOLD!...

Bill, the Popstar manga is unfortunately offline. I don't think I can put it up again, since Tokyopop now has it in print. The Rising Stars of Manga 5 book should be pretty easy to find...

Bill: Popstar comic...

Do you know, I have no idea. And I can't reach my FTP until I get home from work to check. I may have deleted it off when the competition was over, but I'm damned if I can find the LJ entry where I linked to it, either!

He is ready to meet any challenge! For his soul is forged from steel, and his eye is keen and shrewd!

This Maul, is he strong of soul? For there is much Gonterman here, and weaker hearts have perished in its cold glare.

Steve: Thank you! You are ten angel kitties!

Hey Maul! Oh my God, Maul is here!

Everybody, this is my poetry boy. Treat him with warmth and loving care. He likes cats and making fun of idiots, so I thought he would feel at home here.

Well Im kind of new to this..sorry I dont mean to spam.
Im just here for Lavender Gray.

Lavender" Where's the prnt scrn button? Is that the key on the keyboard? Cuase I hit that and nothing happened.

Yes it is on your keyboard, it should be to the right of your F-keys.
When you hit it nothing obvious will happen, there will be no indication that it did anything. If you then open Paint and select Edit | Paste then you should find a copy of your desktop in the Paint window.

Mimi:

Where's the link to your first Popstar comic? I've Googled but failed to find it. I know a couple of new fans of yours who'd like to read it, if it's still up.

Steve: Where's the prnt scrn button? Is that the key on the keyboard? Cuase I hit that and nothing happened.

Lavender: You're supposed to make a screenshot of your donation confirmation page, and I don't know how to do that. Do you need special software for that or what?

This ones easy, I hope you are usings windows.

When you have the confirmation page up you simply hit the prnt scrn button.
Next open up Paint, it's under Programs | Accessories | Paint and select Paste from the menu.
Your desktop should appear in the Paint window.
Select File | Save As
Give it a file name and change its file type to JPEG.
You should then be able to email, or whatever the file.

Let me know if you have any problems.

Mimi: I asked because I'm trying to narrow down the artists I want to donate for.

But now I've run into a problem. You're supposed to make a screenshot of your donation confirmation page, and I don't know how to do that. Do you need special software for that or what?

Nah, I didn't 'Nina' this one, sorry. Maybe next time.

Edited by author 09-11-2005 12:57 AM
I was thinking a bit Hirshfeld-y

Should I be looking for Nina? ;)

looks like my pic got the Kids some more fans

Including some sort of Rabbit.

'if you don't like the ending, i'll bop you with this lollipop' and halfway through the movie i thought *oh man*

It's my fault for making a "Herbie Popnecker" joke. How many people will get that? It's like the "She stole Mike's keyboard!" ref on MST3K's Cornjob Gamera ep.

Which is like making a "MST3K's Cornjob Gamera" joke. How many people will get that? It's like that time I got so meta-referential that I vanished up my own assh*poof*

Edited by author 09-11-2005 12:46 AM
Mimi: Are you doin' the Art for Katrina thing?

Nope. Call me heartless, but a)I'm not into community art projects and b)too busy.

Hey Bill, looks like my pic got the Kids some more fans . Note, there is a reason why I didn't link to your site from this picture. Gont has me on his devwatch, and linking to here might lead him to Phrack Whore HQ.

I was thinking a bit Hirshfeld-y when I did that pic. Killsy is this white blank canvas, so there's no detail needed. Less is More worked for her. But B-boy.. well, how can the Big Grey Feets NOT be the central focus? ;)

Well, i remembered 'if you don't like the ending, i'll bop you with this lollipop' and halfway through the movie i thought *oh man*...

I know about Shaolin S, but i'm trying to find it in cloned DVD, no blockbuster has it and i don't want a vcd.

*wants to be home to use photoshop to turn the Byron pic 180° and go all 'hah! i could' with Bill*

Dang, Lav, and the craziest thing i've done in uni. is to play Eye Toy groove (well, it IS hilarious) with a group of friends while that fat maine coon watched us flail our arms around stupidly. mexican univ. needs some cheaper thrills.

i thought Bill had spoiled the final

Whuh? I never give away major plot points! Heck, I didn't even say who ran into the billboard!
Make sure to rent "Shaolin Soccer." It's less crazy, but funnier.

If you don't know what Zef's talking about vis a vis Byron...guess you'll have to look at my page, hmm?
Or Mimi's.

I love how Killsy looks all dignified and stylized like something by Erte, and Byron is his usual spastic nutlog self, and done in great detail. Too bad you can't turn your monitor upside down to really catch the detail. It looks like Mimi had a lot of fun drawing Toe-Boy. I can't wait till it's on my wall!

What I did on my Friday night by Lavender Cerulean Gray, Age 22:

You haven't lived until you've danced in a giant vat of soap bubbles with 40 other swimsuited college students, all gyrating crazily to that "Let's Get Retarded" song, and batting around a giant inflatable tamale.
    
In other words, Agnes Scott had a foam party! Woot! Would have been a lot nicer if my darling poetry-boy could have been there, but you take what you can get.

Funniest part: Agnes Scott is an all-women's college. When I told my mother why I would be home late, she immediately looked horrified and said, "Is it going to be all girls?!"

*snort* Yeah, Ma. Nothing but girls and double-ended dildos. PHEAR.

We should be seeing some interesting ads now.

Zef: We'd better call Batman, then.

Mimi: Are you doin' the Art for Katrina thing?

Edited by author 09-10-2005 10:43 PM
HOLY DEADLY NINJA KITTENS!

is that how the gont's mug looks? O_o

*feels 200% better about himself* whee.

I watched Kung fu hustle. midway through it, i thought Bill had spoiled the final, but it wasn't that way. MOST. AWESOME. KUNGFU. MOVIE. OF. THE. YEAR. Whoo.

Lav, those laser kittens are insane, but are nothing compared to the 14 pound maine coon i met this thursday.

/Wallace & Gromit rule.

Yay! i get to comment first on Mimi's awesomeness. I'm sorry, but Byron looks TOTALLY Wain-esque to me.

Since the editing of this message seems to know no end, is anyone else getting this google ad?:

Play Osama bin Lotto
Play Osama bin Lotto and Win by Guessing Bush's October Surprise.
www.OsamaBinLotto.org

*looks at Steve's pic*

...oh great, we just got back from seeing the Wallace and Gromit movie (SEE IT!!) and now it's tainted with nightmare fuel.

I... THINK... that what he's trying to show is that Scarlet has the thug pinned

But...isn't it Scarlett's hand? It's all vixeny and bitchy and black-shaded....

Nice.
But
NEEDS BIGGER FEETS!!!!!!!!

Having absolutely no Photoshop skillz, I proudly present a look inside Davey's mind.
How he sees himself.

I... THINK... that what he's trying to show is that Scarlet has the thug pinned to the ground and she's twisting his foot. He's doing the 'Uncle! UNCLE!!' hand-thump to make her stop.
I know nothing about wrasslin'.

btw, remember those Lost Boy found pages where he rambles on about swordplay for 4 pages? I think I found his source:
http://www.cjas.org/~leng/kenshin.htm

Whoa! What's up with the cop? Forget his "66"-shaped eyes and compare the size of his head to his foot! He's on his way to becoming this guy.

What's with the "tap tap tap"? And the disembodied hand? WTF is THAT supposed to represent happening?

Ah, how lovely. A Fafblog giggle (my husband actually mimed the National Guard troop socks as I read) and new Gont.

Wait... so SCARLET's making those 'KON!' noises?? I thought they were the sound of her hitting the guy against the floor or something.
Oh lord, save me... *shakes head*
9_9 The one time where the use of 'bitch' as a curse is justified and he tries to explain it as 'science'. I BET he'd still bleep out 'penis' if he ever wanted to use it, though...

Negaduck: Cool I learnt a new word, taxonomy. Well that means today was not a complete waste.
I was thinking more along the lines of Davey always using the term Vixen. Whilst "bitch" maybe technically correct, I would have prefered "biotch" or "biatch" myself :) I do not have the language skills, or the phonetic abilities of 'Davey of the Southern Drawl', so my spelling may be a bit off!

Ernst: And in my Bible, God is a woman who does handstands while wearing a skirt and goes on skee ball benders for days at a time.

Liliana: *Sigh* I love living in the Bible Belt.

Bill: I thought of you when I saw this.

Steve: Wow, if Scarlet's mouth gets any more dislocated it'll slide right off her head. By the way, "Kon" is also used for the sound of coughing, so the "bitch" could just have a cold. I suppose "bitch" is technically correct, as foxes are canids, but do you think it's likely that Robber Ninja Guy is thinking of taxonomy right then?

Something that always endears Gontie is the references to professional wrestling. Because WWE is a perfect example of how fights really work. I wouldn't be able to comment on the make'n'model of the car, but it seems to have Nev-R-Turn fenders.

In an upcoming episode, Scarlet will go to Paris, visiting the Moulin Rouge and dancing a kon-kon. By that time, most of the characters will simply be huge feet.

My ultimate favourite letter from the Texas Christians: "Jesus in my Bible will return with a flaming sword, not as some milk toast hippie!!" Well, in MY Bible, Christ is played by Richard Roundtree in a giant rainbow clown wig, handing out unexpected things dipped in chocolate and caramel while quoting from obscure classical Greek plays in the original language. Clearly, we're both looking at some Bible unconnected to the original New Testament. At least the next letter, from a pastor no less, is somewhat moderate.

Edited by author 09-09-2005 07:03 AM
KON! KON! KON! KON!

New Scarlet

He uses the word 'bitch', incorrectly I believe, but does not mark it mature. What am I thinking, DVK and consistency in the same sentence, bad brain.

KON! KON! KON! KON!!!111!!!

Edit: Holy Phrack, checkout the perspective on that cop. Also is that a Leyland P76 cop car?

People with AS usually make up for the crap social skills with some kind of talent (eg-- Vincent D'Onofrio's character on Law & Order:CI).

Ernst, I literally LOL'd when I read that, simply because last week I used Gil Grissom (from CSI: Original Recipe™) as an example of a somewhat improbably-high-functioning tv-Aspie; dunno if I buy D'Onofrio's character as one or not, maybe just because of my longtime annoyance at how freakin' gimmicky I've always found his work on that show. By no means am I a highly experienced actress, but it's always struck as a truly lazy bit of business, the way he invariably relies solely on that ::TILT:: thing (you know the one, I think there's even a shot of him doing it in the credits) to establish his character, which seems such a purely one-note characterization...perhaps because I've seen him play much more multi-dimensional characters elsewhere.

(Then again, if I'm looking for non-gimmicky acting, Law and Order--or CSI, for that matter--probably aren't the first places to look anyway; believe it or not, for that I'll stick to my novelas, though in an odd bit of crossover-ness, CSI: Miami occasionally features the Mexican soap opera star Cristian de la Fuente [as the hunky, accented lab tech guy who I am sure Miss M3 noticed long ago] ;).

I knew it was only a matter of time before some craphead called Katrina God's judgement. 'Cause, you know, New Orleans is, like, the modern Sodom and/or Gomorrah.

Negs--from your mouth to God's ear? Enter said craphead, stage left...

http://kltv.com/Global/story.asp?S=3826469

Much like after Pat Robertson's recent edict that the U.S. should "take out" the Venezuelan president for his temerity in opposing Bush--which clearly did not denote buying him a burger and fries--with this kind of kind of brain trust running the show, it's difficult not to just sit back and enjoy watching the fundies continually shoot themselves in the foot like this. (When of course I'm not being *unbelievably* offended by such supposed emissaries of Christianity contradicting its most basic principles; I ain't no Biblical scholar, but I'm a pretty big fan of the whole, "being-kind-to-others" stuff, and with self-proclaimed representatives like these, the Christian church has zero need for enemies, mais non?)

The Coast Guard is useless against them! Call Voltron!
http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b287/OMN...orcer/Other/cat.jpg

Check out this crap:
http://snowflakestudios.keenspace.com/at/at211.png
I like the way he puts "people" in quotes. HAW HAW! We knows nigras ain't people!

Instructions for use: Put on pointy white hat and goosestep around 40,000 dead while laughing. DON'T GET CAUGHT being a worthless, sociopathic rascist fuck!
HEIL BUSH!

I had wondered if Gont was a possible Aspie.. but then, I've hung out on GAFF, where it seems every second person has AS. Yeah, he has the obvious-to-all-but-himself crap social skills, but most Aspies I've observed are at least aware they have this problem. They also tend to be more the depressive type than Gont. He lives in Happy Super Fun ME! Land and seems to think everyone wants in to play there, which is of course horse pucky.
As for the hidden talent - I thought that was Autism, not AS. I gather Aspies can get extremely focussed on things to the exclusion of all else, which DOES indeed sound like our Phrackhead.
Those must be some DAMN strong meds he's on.

Thanksh for the comic feedback ^^

Gontsperger Syndrome?! Surely not-- People with AS usually make up for the crap social skills with some kind of talent (eg-- Vincent D'Onofrio's character on Law & Order:CI).

Perhaps the "God Always Hated Them" argument is the first step in the separation of the Blue and Red states into their own nations. A little something you could work on, down there: "Yep, God sure is a capricious jerk.... Maybe the next thing is he'll smite they what done hang out with sinful places like New Orleans. All sorts of tarring a nation for the acts of one naughty place in the Bible!" They'll drop you like Bush dropping a black preemie when the cameras are taken away.

So, how about those photos of the dead that the Gummint is trying to stifle?

I was watching BBC's World News last night, and their chap on the ground bitching at a cop from an adjoining, non-wrecked state about the corpse that his convoy was parked beside. Seems the corpse had been there for the past five days, and BBC Guy was getting a little tired of driving past it. The cop's response was, however, valid: "I just got orders to look after living people. Dead ones are going to have to wait a little bit longer."

...and finally-- ginchy new strip, Mimi! I really like super-50's-style Mom.

Oops, knew I forgot something...

Bill, last night *my* mom said almost EXACTLY the same thing your mom did, almost word-for-word...with the difference here being that my mom's a lifetime, hardcore Republican. (Though having me for a daughter means she's a lot less hardcore than she once was; Mom's come a lonnnng way from having once supported Anita Bryant, as evidenced by her telling me how much she loved Sunday night's episode of Cold Case, which dealt with a pair of 1930's star-crossed lesbian lovers.)

If anything, she sounded even more pissed off than your mom, but you know what? I couldn't be happy about us being politically on the same page for once, since after all, how much do these ephemeral types of distinctions really matter in the face of so much human suffering? Not a whole helluva lot. :(

PS: One small advantage of evidently being a wholly unemployable freak--I got turned down for all five jobs I interviewed for the other week--is that loads of spare time + mad clerical skilz, yo = volunteering at the Red Cross office starting tomorrow a.m. (Hopefully this will make up a little for not being able to convince my apartment complex's management to pony up some temporary housing, even though we've got lots and LOTS of 1- and 2-bedroom places available right now which could be subsidized under Section 8 via FEMA funds [that is, if FEMA ever gets their act together]...dangit!)

I knew it was only a matter of time before some craphead called Katrina God's judgement. 'Cause, you know, New Orleans is, like, the modern Sodom and/or Gomorrah.

So, how about those photos of the dead that the Gummint is trying to stifle? We can't have journalists putting a negative spin on a huge fuggin' natural disaster, after all.

Liliana: No kidding with the Katrina-God theory. I just have to roll my eyes (just as I do now whenever I'm reminded of Falwell's assessment that 9/11 happened because of the pagans, gays, ACLU, etc. You'd think that a deity would punish the proper people, but then, common sense isn't in Falwell's mental toolbox).

OT: I'm considering writing a humorous short story for ACLU in the hopes of winning a scholarship from them. Not only will I get money for college, I'll also flabbergast my rightwinger father.

Jeez, Bill, I'm really worried about you with all the puking and hurling. Shouldn't you maybe drink Ensure™ or something, just so you don't lose any more weight? (I'm partial to chocolate EnsurePlus™, myself--back inna day when I did crank & hence had zero desire for food, I pretty much lived on EnsurePlus™, Diet Pepsi and water...hey, it kept me a size 9, tho9ugh it ultimately exacerbated my depression, much as narcotics are wont to do.)

And speaking of...Negs, they won't let me donate blood (or plasma, which I could get paid for, dammit!) either, because of being on two different antidepressants (Zoloft and Elavil, for the record); it never even occurred to me to mention that I lived in the U.K. 1990-91. My dorm food wasn't the greatest (except for the from-scratch doughnuts made with real cream & butter, which were to DIE for--as my arteries no doubt could attest), but especially since every Friday was fish and chips--which for this seafood-hater meant chips and peas--I'm sure I had beef lots of times. I'll let y'all know when all the foaming-at-the-mouth commences...

Because of being the granola-headed, touchy-feely Cali freak that I am, I gotta send out big hugs to everyone here, out of thankfulness that you're all okay. Last night my otherwise-intelligent neighbor who has recently gotten WAY too into the God stuff was going on about how the hurricane was a punishment from God sent to test us, and I just looked at her...then asked, "What kind of mean-ass God is that? If there is a God, I'd sure like to think of him/her as a good deal more benevolent than that--and why were all those poor black people somehow deserving of punishment than semi-affluent white us? Some theology you got there, missy..."

(Then I added, "No offence, but I liked you a whole lot better when you weren't so damn churchy." Still, we remain friends, and if any disaster happened here in Modesto, I know she'd be the first to check on me, as I would with her. Wacky belief systems of course wouldn't even enter into it.)

Lastly...a possible Gonter-diagnosis?

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/index...Asperger's_Syndrome

Edited by author 09-07-2005 12:07 PM
Bill: <.FoghornLeghorn>It's a joke, son.<./FoghornLeghorn>

Mimi: It's going to be strange at first seeing Rosie without the rest of the cast I'm familiar with. I'll be following this strip, Will her teddy bear survive?

well, a lot of As If! fans have since discovered my Deviantart account, where I posted a journal entry reporting Disney's closure.
Oh! I have new comic-y stuff to share, too...

it's new, and a site created mostly just to chronicle its development, but here is Thorn.
It's a 50's Rosie spinoff.

Edited by author 09-07-2005 12:10 AM
Maybe you have your very own stalker?

So you mean he's a Mimi fan? As If! did have a large audience, I'll bet.

edit and forehead slap:
DOES have a large audience! Damn, pure Davey present/past tense-slip!

And why did you say "stalker" and not "fan"? There's a big difference. Did he exhibit some creepy weirdness?

Mimi - it was a little scary; this guy knew about the situation with Disney's Aussie studio and all that, but he wasn't on this forum. Maybe you have your very own stalker? He also recognized me from the 8BT flash movie in which they made fun of me for (supposedly) playing DDR instead of getting them the backgrounds for a certain project. Huh!

When I was in London I ate little beef, not because of mad cow, but because british beef is awful. Full of gristle and crap. I bit into a burger and my teeth bounced. Forget that - I ate a lot of fish & chips.

Probably not-- the thing set up to draw blood here after Red Cross lost it's licence in the early 90's over some HIV contamination won't have you if you've spent more than 6 months in the UK since 1980. Extremely arbitrary. I spent 2 weeks in the UK in 1984, and ate a quantity of beef, but they're still glad to have me. Donation 150 is in sight!

Edited by author 09-06-2005 06:13 AM
Negs: whoa. I lived in London for six months. I avoided beef like the plague, seeing as Mad Cow was at its height of paranoia then (mid-90's).
So the Red Cross wouldn't touch me, either?

Oh, this Dragon*Con guy was a Phrack Whore, too? *grin*

I've been at Dragon*Con.

Red Cross won't take my blood no more. Because I spent a few months in London back in the '80s, I might have Mad Cow disease. I wonder how, statistically speaking, my risk group compares with that of a normally sexually active person whose blood they will take?

I got into a conversation starting with 8-Bit Theater with a guy near the consuite, and the guy showed me the comics he'd saved on his PSP. He also showed me some other cartoons he loved, including one by another webcomic artist. Can you guess which one? I think those of us here can! :)

Your mom's THE AWESOME, Bill. Now we know where you got some of those cool genes from.

Nearly everything in the news is being turned upside-down. Geraldo Rivera and Shep "This IS Perspective, Sean!" Smith from Fox News are actually making a human connection to the story and the people (check out Crooks and Liars for the skinny). (Rumor has it that Michelle Malkin is starting to make sense, too.)

BTW, did anyone hear about Jabbar Gibson? He'd better get a medal.

(Slightly OT: I live in North Carolina, which is a target for hurricanes. If this is how Bush is going to react to a natural disaster, then I'm scared. But I'm already scared enough for those people down there.

I think I'll look at Gontie's stuff for a brief laugh.)

Yer Mom rawks, Bill.

Today I beat Super Mario Bros. 3 (on the GBA, not the NES) because I am just that much of a dork. I was able to defeat Bowser's castle on the first try! Woot!

Never fear, Rabbit-- the skee-ball-like nature of the interweb is taking us past your misplaced comment. Rude Pundit is very rude indeed-- as is this west coast correspondant for Auntie Beeb. Last night a work, the guy whose family fled Chile in the 70's (leftists) turned from NBC Detroit's coverage of the hurricane aftermath and said, "Hey... aren't there any white people in New Orleans? I thought there were...." Moments later, a picture of Bush walking beside the mayor of NO, and we couldn't look away, hoping for a nice big interracial head-punch.

I heard some bigwig at FEMA mention that the response time to this situation compares very favourably to that for the tsumani last winter, which strikes me as Mike Tyson bragging about being a better boxer than me.

And speaking of tsunamis-- apparently Larry King called Katrina the worst natural disaster ever. Without further qualifications.

[/Frothy Rant]

I think the Vatican Council did away with the full wimple treatment.

Not according to some of the stories the ex-altar boys keep telling about priests :)

Edited by author 09-03-2005 04:23 AM
Steve:... ah, yes. true. Geez, I went to Catholic school for 13 years and there were some veils. My mistake. I think the Vatican Council did away with the full wimple treatment. After that, wearing a veil was optional, I think, depending on the order. My school was Dominican, and not many of the nuns wore veils.

Davey:Would this mean that Adam and Vixen will actually get it on during the book? Not telling.
But... what about the COOTIES?? Won't SOMEONE think of the COOTIES!!???

Mimi: nun's habits went out with the Second Vatican Council in the 60's, dinkuss!

I hate to disagree, but I went to a Catholic primary school in the 70's, it was run by nuns and they all wore the habit.

Bloody penguins!

re. Arrrr-y Scarlet (Bill's last link)
That's an illegal excess of camel-toe, even for a female character.
Is.. is she wearing ROLLED-up CUTOFFS?
Why on earth does he think that 'mocking' himself for being such a self-seeking attention whore is funny? Because it's not. It's like he would deliberately print tshirts saying 'Hell yeah, I have no imagination or originality whatsoever, am I too cute to kiss or what?'

Oy *headesk*

So he can spend THREE PAGES detailing Adam's sword technique which he probably ripped off verbatim from a Ruroni Kenshin info site, but he just slaps 'Sister Sharon' in the cliche'd nun's uniform without even looking up basic Catholic catechism - nun's habits went out with the Second Vatican Council in the 60's, dinkuss!

A new story (SHOCK! HORROR! Lavender's writing again?! How did that happen?!): http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1999436

This is actually an assignment for school. She gave us the phrase "My mother never" and we're supposed to write a paragraph from there. She told us, "you can write more than a paragraph if you want to." I wrote significantly more.

I missed this:
http://www.deviantart.com/view/22447552/
No comment.

I can't donate, and haven't been able to join the TOPOS, (not that Bush'll let them go to US, it seems, maybe the asshole shooting at the 'copters in NO was expecting Bush to be in one, as he was later?) so it's good to find Gonterman to get stuff off my mind (even tho Uni helps a lot too), even if Bill's covered most... except this:

Would this mean that Adam and Vixen will actually get it on during the book? Not telling.

How freaky is that?

Hey, these are pretty cool, check 'em out!
Remember how Disney famously had to cut scenes of servile black centaurettes from Pastoral sequence in Fantasia? Someone has actually found the cut bits and made them available for download. Disney denies they ever existed, but these clips prove it. Very cool bit of lost history here...

http://www.widescreen.org/multimedia.shtml
They're the second-last entry from the bottom. 3 small quicktimes.

Edited by author 09-02-2005 06:43 PM
Gah... This is what happens when I spend the last 3 nights glued to WWLTV's live feeds from Baton Rouge, I miss FRESH GONTERMAN!

Whoo, so much rank, so little time...

*sneerk*.... Sister SHARON??

Edit: Okay, I did some flipping Gont's pics to find out what he's drawing on the back of. Don't get excited, they're just printouts of his LBF notes, including the 'Boy' poem.
brrrr... >_<

Dammit, I missed the new comments page and posted at the old one. Aaargh...here's a summary: Gontie sucks and so does the Bush administration. (I won't say "Bush sucks" because there's so many other people there to help him with the sucking. They deserve credit for that too.)

Did you Americans donate...

I'm gonna go by their website when I get home from school and donate what I can. The same goes for the Humane Society (because pets need care, too. Some are actually being abandoned as their families board the buses.).

One of the local stations said that other countries are going to pitch in and help. Among them are Japan, Russia, France, Germany, Mexico, and Canada. The first one to volunteer was the Israeli Prime Minister. But Bush is saying that he won't accept the aid because "we hadn't asked for it."

The Freepers were bitching about "when are the other countries gonna help us?!" Now their beloved leader is REFUSING it.

I'm so angry I can't even cuss.

Believe me, world, I know you want to help, and we could use it, but... *sigh* But I'm gonna thank you anyway, from the deepest part of my heart.

Edited by author 09-02-2005 11:00 AM
Pic 7

He knows all THAT, but thinks that "Nitsan" is a Japanese name.

Hmmm. Could be because none of the manga he's read has ever explained Japanese name construction. Through my SCA activities, I often get a lot of questions from 12 year olds that sound like the stuff Senor Dingdong has scrawled out there (and from the guy at work who likes Dragonball Z WAY too much).

In fact, I'll wager there's some manga writer in Japan that is only kept from a plagarism suit against Gonterini by the fact that he'll never actually look at any of the latter's work.

[edit: Dun fergot to close a parenthetical statement. And also to mention the unlikely physics of a sonic boom off the end of a sword-- dude's got the wrist and elbow integrity to manage that, dude don't need no sword]

New Lost Boy Flounderings.
Well...here goes the rest of my evening.

(Did you Americans donate to the Red Cross or Americares? If you can't afford, you can't afford, so that's okay. If you could and you didn't...shame, shame!)
We now return you to our regularly scheduled Davey rant.

Pic 1
It really takes THAT many sketch lines to draw a guy who looks exactly like EVERY OTHER GUY HE DRAWS?

His car is pixie powered.
That. Is. So. RETARDED.

Although not as retarded as him "speaking in L33T." Isn't 1337 just spelled different, not PRONOUNCED different? Isn't that the whole idea of it?

Pic 2

He's incorporating nosebleed stains into Tara's maid routines??

Like Wendy, apparently Tara is also a screaming psychopathic nutlog. At least when poor widdle balls-punching Adam is around (here looking like he's about age 6).

Pic 3

MATURE CONTENT! WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP! WARNING, WARNING! MATURE CONTENT! WHOOP WHOOP WHOOP!

WTF! Yeah, REAL MATURE, Davey!
And I mean that. A mature person doesn't consider a kiss on the cheek to be obscene. An 8-year-old does.
Pathetic, really. Pathetic.

Unless he is 8. Wait, he's drawn at age 6 AND age 14! On the same day as that scene happened--no, wait, at the same MINUTE! But...oh, forget it.

Pic 4

It's Sister Pinkeye, of our Lady of the Vague Nausea!

"My counter twoard Newt Greenwich..." Followed with a classic Davey run-on sentence fragment.
*begins laughing*

"I also want to reconcile my like of the classic movie "Boys Town" with my current adversion of Catholic Priests. I dare you to take my answer to Father Flannigan to court on a molestation charge. Ever heard of a pedo nun? I haven't."
*begins screaming*

Pic 5

"You wanna mouthful of bloody Chiclets?! Oh--sorry!"

Waist by Callista Flockheart. Pan cleavage by--WHAT?! PAN--CLEAVAGE?!?!
I'm starting to feel ill now.

Pic 6

...

He knows all THAT, but thinks an apartment is $25 a week.

OF COURSE an extremely English book like Peter Pan has SAMURAI SWORDS FIGHTINGS!!!! Adam-san is looking at the audience saying, "Check out my inexplicably long pubic hair!" exactly 1 second before Pan-san beheads the arrogant phrack. Oh, wait--based on how Adam's arms are positioned, that katana's been jammed through his ribs already.

Pic 7

...

He knows all THAT, but thinks that "Nitsan" is a Japanese name.

Admit it--you stopped reading 10 words in, too.

Pic 8

WHO THE FUCK CARES?!?!

Yeah, "he'll miss 50% of the time," and take Hook's nose off when he does. Why, he'll take Hook, cut him up, and make Larry STEW from him!

Davey's paper: A cease and desist letter from Disney.
(I'm sure some enterprizing soul will figure out what it originally was)

Pic Who Cares

Christ. Detailed sword-fighting instructions from a guy who doesn't know what a "plot" is.

At least we could Photoshop it a bit and read his mail. McD's dress code, maybe? "Not to mention any names, but Fry Cooks are no longer allowed to wrear Ninja Fox Suits with Nine Tails by the Fry-O-Later, due to the fire at our Pontoon Beach franchise..."

Edited by author 09-01-2005 11:03 PM
http://www.deviantart.com/view/22447722/

Typically bad Davey, but this time based on Tasu's characters. Forget the lameness; there's a link to a brief Tasu animation. There's a gun that shoots--oh, you know.

WHOA!
http://daveykinsfoxfire.deviantart.com/
New Lost Boy Found art!

"If it was wrong, wouldn't someone make us stop?"

That's actually a good point, as the police were deliberately NOT arresting people, as long as they were only stealing food. And there's the additional problem of where you put the perps when the jails are underwater.

Fafnir, I believe, was the name of the dragon in Wagner's Ring Cycle, and thus not very Arabic.

I must admit that I am curious to see how the neocons can make the situation in N'awlins into someone's fault, so they can rain bombs on that someone. And, of course, that someone clearly isn't going to be the people responsible for all the extra greenhouse gases in the upper atmosphere (which is sort of all of us monkeys, but let's look meaningfully at SUV drivers for a moment).

On looting-- racial profiling aside, I saw an interview with a looter on TV last night, in which the TV guy asked the chap if he didn't think what he was doing was wrong. The reply: "If it was wrong, wouldn't someone make us stop?"

I am fascinated by the Fafblog. Who or what is behind the Fafblog? Is Fafnir an evil Arab? Is the Medium Lobster actually a lobster? Is Giblets made from leftover meat? And who is this mysterious "Chris" person they all refer to? Why do they live in his house? Is Chris a reflection of the author? It's all so mysterious.