Edited by author 19-05-2005 14:31
Welcome to the Discussion Area of the site. Here you can post your essays for others to comment on, comment on other peoples essays or just chat about IELTS and English.

Post your essays by clicking on 'Post a New Comment' or comment on other people essays in the same way. You can start discussions on other topics the same way.

Teachers will also be on this site making comments on essays and answering questions.

Return to Main Site

Here is my essay. What do you think? :-)

The diagram is about the pollution. Firstly manufacturing process produces pollution from factories in form of sulphur and nitrogen. These pollutions form clouds, which are blown by the wind from factories towards other areas. The rain that falls from these clouds contaminates the sulphur and nitrogen and is known as acid rain. When rain falls on the vegetation below the pollutants in acid rain poison the trees and plants, which then die. Thus pollution created by factories in one area can damage and even destroy environment in an area many miles away. We must to do all we can to stop pollution because it is bad for the environment.

Edited by author 19-05-2005 15:13
An interesting essay Krzysztof, which is generally well structured and in a logical order. Are you sure the film was just about pollution in general? Be careful with articles 'a' and 'the'. Are opinions allowed in this type of essay? What does anyone else think?

Here are my writing rules. What do you think?
1. Always check the word form.
2. Check for correctly use of "a" and "the"
3. Start names of things with a capital letter
4. Don't forget "s" on verbs for he/she/it
5. Propositions!! "On Wednesday" "At the weekend"

Thanks
Juan, Spain

Edited by author 08-03-2006 14:27
This is my writing task. I have seen a water cycle on this website and write some lines about that cycle. If there are mistakes then please inform me. My email address is qaisarprince@hotmail.com



this chart shows us the water cycle. It shows that how water is converted into the clouds with the help of sunshine. then the wind moves the clouds to the other higher areas. In that areas clouds causes the rain and the rain water downstreamed back into the sea.

The diagram is about the water cycle. Firstly, the water in the sea evaporates under the sunshine. During evaporation, water vapour is formed and the invisible water vapor rises to the air up to the sky. As the temperature in the sky is very low, the water vapour is cooled down and forms clouds. The wind carries the cloud to the other place. While the cloud cool down, it condenses and cause raining. the rain drops will flow downstream by the river. Finally, the rain drops flow back to the sea again. To sum up, water can helps to maintain the ecosystem. Thus, its is very important to our life.

HI I am Kathy who wrote the message below on 11.6.2006 at 08:48. My email is ymf888@hgcbroadband.com. Pl give me some advices and suggestion. Thanks

Hi Kathy,

Generally a good essay. You have described the process well. There are a few points for you to think about.

Third person s verb endings?
What do you mean by 'the other place'?
Are you sure you mean 'by the river'?

Try making a few changes and posting again
Good luck with your IELTS

the diagram is about water cycle.The first step of this prossesis the seas or oceans were evaprated by the heat of the sun.After that the water vapour rises up to the sky and makes clouds after the vapour cools.then the clouds were blowen by the wind.

the digram is about water cycle.first the water is evaporated by the heat of the sun.then water vapour inspissates in cold atmosphere to become clouds. after that the cooled clouds further cuasing rain mostly oon the peak of the mountain.the wather then, is carried downstream by the river wich flows into the sea then vapourates again to make the cycle of the water.

The diagram illustrates the constant circle of the water.
 When the sun shines and heats the sea, then the water drops invisible evaporate from the sea. Those invisible water drops cools and forms clouds, which are blowed by the wind from the sea. Clouds cools further causing the rain, that falls down to earth, forming streams. The water carried downstream form the lakes, then the water stream forms rivers, that flows into the sea. And the process starts all over angain.

Edited by author 10-11-2006 09:14
czesckinga przyjdzez domnie jestem chory

Working of water cycle consists of three stages.the first stage is evaporation,by which water is evaporated and later get condensed in clouds in the second stage.The final stage is the rain which happens after condensation and get back to earth.

conclusion:

This water cycling is a great phenomenon which helps all living things for the survival of existence in earth.
-areef.

hi please make some corrections about my essay. thanks

Hi can anyone give some comments about my essays?

The diagram illustrates how the water cycle works. Evaporation takes place from the water surface on the sea which then turns to some invisible water vapour. Such water vapour will be blown by the wind and cooled down forming clouds. After some time, furthing cooling of clouds would cause raining. When the rain falls down on the hillside, water will be carried downward to the river and finally river will flow back into the sea and so it marks the end of the water cycle.

Edited by author 06-03-2008 07:20
The diagram is about how the water cycle works. First there is evaporation from the sea in form of invisible watervapour. These invisible vapour form clouds, which futher cause rain. When the rain fall down, water is carried downstream by river and the river flows into the sea and then the process come to the end. Thus how the water cycle works.

hi guys, here's my essay. Please comment and advise on it. thanks

This process illustrates how sea water circulate. The sun heates the sea water and as a result some part of it evorates to the sky as invisible water vapour. When the vapour reaches to the sky wind blows it to a different direction where it becomes cold and forms clouds. Then clouds will become too big that they can't hold their main body and results to rain. After that rain water is carried down by the river which flows into the sea. That is how water circulation works all the time.

Hi there,here is my essay.pleasegive your opinion and advice. thanks in anticipation.

The information given here reveal us, how water ciculate on earth?It is a vititious cycle.Water from sea evapourize under the effect of sun heating.These water vapours ,which are ,invisible to human eye,run upward toward the sky.When wind blows , it cools down these vapours and convert them into clouds.Further cooling of vapours becomes the reason for raining, finally.Rain water carried down and fill our lake, streams;which then flow into the rivers, Some rain water also carried under soil and rocks.At last,water from rivers houses into sea , the final destination.Here again sunlight is ready to begin the next circle.As we have seen here , how water runs around the earth ? and always be available. This, actually ,also make our climate, atmosphere pleasant for every live creature on this planet.

HI, that's my composition....can someone correct or advise me? thanx!!!

The diagram shows clearly the process responsable of the balance in the quantity of water on the earth.
Basically, the amount of water can be kept thanks to the equilibrium between the evaporation phenomenon and the precipitation. This kind of balance is obteined because of the involvement of some climate factors.
The process starts with the water evaporation from the sea which creates an invisible water vapour coming up in the atmosphere. The warm vapour is cooled by the wind forming clouds. The cool clouds could cause rain which, falling down, wet the ground but also feed the river. Once in the river, the water is carried downstream untill the river flows into the sea. The circular process needs every step showed in the diagram which are assured from some particular climate conditions ; in fact if one of the phenomenons descibed is missing or predominant compared to the other the balance in the amount of water could be affected. Mainly, we could observe two drastic situations: 1)
the lack of precipitations due to a warm and dry climate which improuve the water evaporation but nor the clouds formation.
2) a huge amount of rain because of a humid and cloudy weather.
Both the circumstances can be dangerous for the environment, the agriculture and man.

The image above describe the water cycle.
Following the arrow as point of departure, vapours cools forming clouds then those clouds cool further causing rain. The rain water is then carried downstream towards the river. Next the River flows into the sea. Trough a natural evaporation process of the sea water by the heat of the sun, invisible water vapour escapes and blowed by the Wind creating therefore clouds, wich recreates the water cycle.

By looking at the picture gives us idea how water cycle works.Because of hot weather the water first evaporates from the sea forming invisible water vapours.From this point the atmosphere will collect thousands of vapour molecules and cools down to form the cloud . The pressure that present in the atmosphere will shift the clouds from one place to another place.this may cause further cooling the clouds and gives us rain.And this will be collected and carried to downstream by river water.slowly the river water will flow into the sea and again the cycle begins.From this point of view we can understand how water cycle

The water cycle starts in the ocean. Because of the sun and hight temperatures the water is evaporated from the sea and it becomes invisible water vapour that arrives to the sky. In the sky the vapour starts to cools forming clouds full of water. This clouds are blown by the wind and arrived into differents areas of the earth. In this point, the clouds begin to cool down causing rain. The rain that falls into the earth is carried by different rivers which flow into the sea, so rain water is also lead to the sea. In this point, water cycle starts again.

The diagram illustrates the stages which are involved in water cycle inside the earth. The process begins with the water vaporization from the seas into the air and ends in returning the water back to the seas through rivers. The evaporated invisible water is moved into the air and cooled by the blowing winds. The cooled vapor is forming the clouds and after getting cold enough it comes back, down to the earth by the small drops of rain. Raining is the important step which is bringing the evaporated water back to the earth in its liquid form. The gathered drops are forming rivers which are flowing all the way through mountains to downstream in order to pouring again into their origination, the sea. Considering the entire process, it’s clear that the whole amount of water remains constant in our earth and it is just shifting between its different shapes.

The water cycle starts with the process of evaporation of H2O molecules from the surface of the sea, warmed up by solar rays. In this way water passes from a liquid state to a gaseous one. Water vapour is light and hotter than the surrounded air: it flows up to higher regions. There water vapour is transported from the wind and cools forming clouds. Clouds are blown by the wind above inland areas and in the same time get cold further until water vapour condenses, passing again to the liquid state. So it starts raining: the same water molecules evaporated from the sea are now composing raindrops. Once the water has reached the land, part of it is absorbed by the soil. The remaining part is carried downstream by rivers or torrents from higher regions to lower ones, till the point the river flows into the sea, ending the cycle.

Edited by author 11-02-2009 06:47
The diagram is about the water cycle in the nature. First sea water is evaporated by the sun rays. The hot vapor moves upward because it is lighter than the cold air. Then it is moved by wind and become cool. The cool vapors form the clouds which contain water. As the clouds move by winds and reach far aeries it starts raining. The rain makes small streams. These streams combine together in the river then flow into the sea again. This cycle does not stop and it continue in nature to keep the balance in the amount of water which make 70% of the earth surface.

The above picture shown is a diagramtic chart of a rain cycle. The water from the sea gets evaporated by the Sun and into the air which travels upwards till it gets cooler and takes the form of a cloud. The water vapor in the clouds cools and gets collected till the water vapor is unable to support itself in the clouds which fall back to the land in shape of rain. This rain is either soaked up by the land or ultimately runs down back into the sea by means of rivers and lakes which inturn gets ready for evaporation.

The diagaram is about the water cycle. The sea water is evaporated by the heat of the sun and performs in the invisible water vapor. Then, it is blown by the wind and is cooling down in the form of clouds.

Edited by author 08-06-2009 15:18
The diagram illustrates the water cycle and describe how it works. First, the water from the sea evaporats and rises up into the air. Then the water vapour is moved by the wind to the cold areas of the air where it cools forming clouds. while the clouds are moved further by the wind, it produces rains in the mountains and in the plains. Because of the rain the rivers are form in the mountain. Those rivers are moving toward the sea carrying the water which goes back again to the sea. The same cycle is repeated again and again with the same essential prosseces wich are, evaporating the water from the sea, forming clouds and lastly raining.

The diagram is about rainfall. first, the water from the sea evaporates and forms water vapour. this water vapour is blown by wind and cools down. the waper forms clouds on cooling down. these clouds on cooling down further cause rain. the rain water flows downstream by the river and this river flows into the sea.