Steve-- The secret is lots of water. At least, the filthy hangover secret. Kitties is a pretty good direction to go for the rest of it.

What're gonna do, Fox Girl? Yiff on my [naughty word Gonties never use]?

I'm not 100% on the usages and syntax of "yiff", but I suspect there's some gonterism in that second sentence-- is the "on" not unnecessary? Maybe he's balancing the missing pronoun in the first one.

Obviously his scanner is amiss-- look how sharp all those lines are! The Kirkovision XT flatbed scanner is supposed to fuzzy things up WAY more than that.

"Yiff" as a verb usually means to have sex or cybersex. You don't yiff something (for example, a black-barred body part), you yiff someone or with someone. But for Gonty this is a minor goof, considering how he doesn't know a boob from a tw*t.

"What're gonna do, fox girl? Yiff on my ****?" Think about that - Mister Weird Mouth Robber Man is tauntng her with a furry-specific taunt which actually makes little sense. A demeaning taunt, like "What're you gonna do, [cry|bleed] on me?" makes sense because it uses sarcasm to state that the victim is helpless. "What're you going to do, have sex with me?" just makes no sense.

Steve: I know I linked to it a while back, but here it is again: Kitten Break!

-----
Gontie gets the gist of "yiff," but he can't apply it to the correct situation. Typical.

I guess I can cut him some slack, though. Some folks in the fandom (particularly those who stay far, far away from the naughtier parts of it) don't realize what the word means. But most of them know better than to attempt to use it.

Davey:

Yeah, what is with those mouths? I first thought that they'd had a big spaghetti dinner, and ate it without remembering to take their masks off.

What is Thug #1 leaning on? It's not a cash register.

And where are they, if the store has less money than a customer's purse? Are they robbing the dollar store? A store with a huge public bathroom is usually a huge store. Or, of course, a McDonald's.

The "gun": Check out that barrel. Hey, Davey, there's an amazing new technology available to artists: it's called "a fucking ruler." I'm sorry, that should've read "a *long black box* ruler."
In the same picture, is the robber's nose bleeding? Or did he grow a beak?

Speaking of noses, what's with the crosses on Scarlett? Is she manifesting the Virgin Mary like that grilled cheese sammitch did?

"If the bleeped out language constitutes Mature Content, let me know."

...The mind boggles. Maybe he should've just blacked out everything, even the drawing--after all, those people are all NAKED under their clothes!
And the strip would've looked better that way.

Edited by author 08-21-2005 12:47 AM
Judging by the careful length of the black boxes, Davey actually WROTE THE NAUGHTY WORDS before blacking them out. What a little dickens!

In order:
"Motherfucker."
"Bitches."
"Fucking."
Unclear. It's 4 letters, so it could be "dick," "wang," "dong," "toes," "eyes," "ears," "nose," "dodo," "Yoda," or, given that this is Davey, "twat."

Actually, "bitches" might be "phracks."

Hey, it's Davey Madlibs! What are the lamest things those guys could be saying?

(btw... is the shop clerk female? I didn't think a woman could BE a motherfucker..:/)

"What're you going to do, have sex with me?" just makes no sense.

Sure it does! EVERYone wants to have sex with Scarlett! Whether straight, gay, or felonious.

It'll be interesting to see if this plays out like the original Scarlett, when she tossed the crooks into the street. (Depicted as a poorly-drawn street, some "zoom" lines, and the words "TOSS! TOSS! TOSS!" That was truly a classic DVK moment.)

Online for moments, but for the love of Mook-Ra, don't wind up he mad-lib game without me!

Ah, kittens....

Edited by author 08-22-2005 04:22 PM
That comic is labeled strip 45 at the top... yet it's strip 49...

How did they get from whatthehellever was going on in strip 48 to this?

My brain hurts. Must massage it with chocolate.

Edit: Has his website gone down, or is he too dum-dum to put a correct link on his DeviantArt page?

How did they get from whatthehellever was going on in strip 48 to this?

I *think* that Scarlett left the Enormous Ladies Bath and Chat Room in 48, and there was a Bad Mans waiting right outside.
One who was not in the least bit unprepared for a giant talking fox-thing to come stomping out on her doughy wads.

Has his website gone down

Looks that way. Must be from all the traffic. :P

Edited by author 08-22-2005 08:55 PM
There's a toy to make your own faux magazine cover. I thought that it might be funny to do "Phrack Whore Monthly." Until I realized that I'd have to track down a suitable Gonterimage for the cover. Maybe someone with actual time on their hands might do it.

Suggested article: "Doughy Wads or Hams in Shoes? DVK Weighs in on Feet"

We could at least have fun suggesting articles!

"Boobs, Twats and the Discovery Channel: Which are having more cooties?"

"SCARLETT PI: THE MOVING PICTURE! Comming twoards a theater wrear you lives!"

"Apartment Living on $25 a Week: How to Save on a Stand for your 52 Inch Flatscreen TV by Using Crates as a Stand for your 52 Inch Flatscreen TV with Crates"

"JAPANESE CHARACTER NAMES: As Easy as Grabbing Random Scrabble Tiles! Written by Tokyo's Figletsan J. Boomyaeiou"

"ACTION SCENES: Draw Them, or Just Make Sound Effects With Your Mouth?"

"DAVEY SAYS! America's Gratest Mind Asks the Hard Questions! Like, 'Want Fries With That?'"

edit: I removed a stray extra ". Why does making fun of Davey make me so retentive about any unintentional mistakes?

Edited by author 08-23-2005 05:49 AM
I just tested my link to Foxfire and it works just fine. Hm.
Edit - actually, cancel that. The forum's not loading. The rest of the site's fine, though.
But he HAS had to open a 'Streamline account' to host all the 'compiled' PDFs of strips. he's begging for Paypal tips to pay the fees for 10 free GIGS of bandwidth a month. Lord, how much traffic does he THINK he GETS??
And why would anyone need to TOUCH his precious 10 gigs when we can just go to his Devart account and collect all the Scarlet PI for nothing?

Reminds me, now that I have my own domain, I'll have to collect all my Gonterman stuff for you - mostly my small collection of MSTings.

As for the magazine cover, we COULD just put his real photo on there </eeeevil>

I dunno, the magazine template looks kinda...*respectable*. Like a medical journal.
I'd see a Davey magazine cover looking more like an FHM ;)

Edit again: HA-ha! I've overtaken Davey in Devart hits!

Here's something I ran across while looking for new blogging software: Hello Kitty's blog!

It's in Japanese, of course, but the cuteness compels me to stare at it.

OK, that site that UCKH has visited scares me with its ranting gibberish, and scares me further because so many people have sent in letters of approval, which are also ranting gibberish. Also:
Feryl K.Grainger {ferylkg@nemontel.net}
That is NOT how you spell "feral".

What's up with that "MUGU" person?

Today I watched Event Horizon. It were good! Like if you squished The Shining and 2001: A Space Odyssey together into one movie. Also saw Evil Dead 2. Kind of like Johnny the Homicidal Maniac, in that I honestly couldn't tell whether it was supposed to be serious or funny.