No, YOU shut up! And how dare you call me a friendly ghost!

Oh wait, you were answering my question. Never mind.

Edited by author 07-01-2005 02:46 AM
I think Penn (.gif by Kirk) said it best:
http://kisrael.com/journal.aux/2005.06.10.stfupoint2.gif

My name is going to explodificate in SPACE!

Well at least the martians will know who to come looking for!

Edited by author 07-01-2005 07:19 PM
Dude, this has to be a record. THREE Gont updates on Devart:
Character page for Pipkin. Ah yes, nice to see his bad stereotypical accents aren't confined to his own COUNTRY. 9_9
Scarlet strip 41. Given Scarlet's rather "robust" build in that first panel (I mean, look at those LEGS!), I have to wonder if Davey doesn't have some latent Robert Crumbish fetish for big meaty thighs or something...0_o
There was a third one, which showed an 'art trade' he did with some other more talented (but clueless) Devart artist, but I lost the link. Keep checking Davey's devart gallery or scraps gallery and you'll see it eventually. Devart are a bit slow to update sometime...

Lav-- I'm sure Anne Rice's new whimsical phase of self-parody won't extend far enough to prevent an attempt at a lawsuit for copyright infringment. You DARE to use a quote from her own work to question her talents?! She is the eternal queen of night and ambassador for the tedious bits of New Orleans! Bleah! BLEAH! (transcipt ends at this point with the sound of plastic 'Dracula' teeth hitting a floor and an unclear expletive)

Mimi-- (I mean, look at those LEGS!)

...and the things clinging to the base of them! OK, they're not the standard clothespressohedron that he's so comfortable with, but they sure ain't feet.

Oh, by the way, Happy Canada Day. Yet another stat I get to work on. (blows maple-leaf-spangled party horn)

Edited by author 07-01-2005 08:31 AM
Gonterman, at least, asks for constructive criticism and acts on it. Annie-kins is now above having editors review her manuscripts, as every one of her works is as highly polished as a diamond. If you don't believe me, just read Violin.

<./sarcasm>

Mimi - did you mean to link to your own DA journal for the Pipkin picture? Love the Scarlet strip - especially how she doesn't find an animal collar at all demeaning, and how the guy's lower body disappears when he stands behind the more-interesting-to-draw furfemme.

Bill - I made a website about my lunches. Either I have gotten all innovative or I have lost my mind.

Edited by author 07-01-2005 07:26 PM
Negs: Mega-oops. Fixed the link to the real Pipkin pic.
And yes, I do grant that Gont is better with concrit these days. His 'explanations' still need work, tho' ;)

Squee! I love bentou! I have a recipie book on how to make bentou for children. The book is japanese, so it's 100% authentic. Unfortunately, I can't read a word of it. /_ I'd love it if I had the time to make up neat cute little compartments of nibblies for lunch. But the thing with bentou is that they're so damn SMALL!
We have to take into account the difference between Japanese and Western appetites. eg. in my kid's bentou book, the average fruit serving consists of a *single* strawberry, or maybe 3 grapes. Or a *sliver* of apple. I know fruit is expensive in Japan, but we all grew up with whole apples. Probably the average JP adult bentou wouldn't fill me up ;)
Need bigger lunchboxes...

Mimi:
I thought the same thing about Pipkin's "accent," and his ridiculous choice of antiquated slang. Near certainty: Davey researched colloquial Britspeak by watching Dick Van Dyke in Mary Poppins once.

Bill, you HAVE to be onto something there....
In response to my comment on accents:
Gont: I'm surprised that there are multiple versions of "English Accents," (and I've forgotten that Scotish Accents count). What I wanted to show in Pippkin Ducaine (You sure it's french? Another shocker. It was the last name that was the first picked up when me and Drew RPed some scenes with him) is a more common, or at least combined version of an English Gentlman. In the strips he'll be in, he'll come off as working-class in heart with an upper-class image.
Who wants to join me in a round of *headdesk*?
'working-class in heart with an upper-class image' does NOT nail down an accent, man! I think this is another 'absolve myself of any need to do any HOMEWORK' clause.
No clue. Not a farkin' clue.... took me five seconds to verify Duca(i)ne as French, too.
I borrowed your Mary Poppins analogy in my reply, hope that's okay ;)

Woah! i thought everyone would be commenting on THIS as yet another example of Bush-admin stupidity, but (obviously) it seems the news were bigger (and overblown) here. personally, I regret i don't have any of these to ebay.. i'll check on monday in local post office. and no, as a kid i didn't read it, i never found it interesting.

We have to take into account the difference between Japanese and Western appetites.

Indeed. i got a bento out of Jlist once 'cos it was blue and pretty, and i wanted something cool to take lunches to school or something. never used it, it's TINY.

Edited by author 07-02-2005 10:42 PM
Mimi:
WOW! You're actually being "mean" to Davey, and he's accepting it as concrit! Whoever saw THAT comming, just a few years ago? Those New Meds must be awesome.

Remember that thing he did a year ago, with Mary Poppins and Uncle Remus? What is WITH this guy and the fake accents, anyway? He may think he's "the internet's Ed Wood," but he's becomming the internet's Harry Stephen Keeler.
(Umm, who was a really bad writer who used dialect to the point where his works were unreadable. And believe me, I've tried)

edit:
It's spelled SCOTTISH, you idiot Davey! And it's insulting to my forebears if it isn't spelled "SCOTS"!
If it isn't Scottish, it's CRAP!
Wait--that means Dana Carvey's insulting my forebears, too!

Sorry, kids. I know that I *promised* I'd calm down soon, but...this is the first time I've been able to actually read the Comments at a leisurely pace, and even click on the links! Without an obnoxious loud kid or a smelly library patron next to me, even!

Actually, Zef, I saw the article on Sr. Pinguin in yesterday's NY Times (can I just say, btw, how GREAT it is to once more be able--as I did nearly every day, from '96-'03--to have breakfast while reading the NYT Obits? It's the preferred waking-up process for us morbid sods who aren't so keen on the Anne Rice [don't get me started on the A.N. Roquelaire books!]). :P

And while yeah, I personally find that character really offensive, I also have to keep in mind my own cultural perspective--the same one that had a *really* hard time when initially watching Mexican programming because of how comparatively sexist it is. If mi amiguito is ever able to watch any U.S. (or British) news programs, he'll see that ALL female journalists are very covered-up & conservatively dressed; if female reporters here dressed like they do in Latin America--with super-short skirts and miles, sorry, metres o' cleavage--they'd be perceived as having zero credibility, I guess because of our damn Puritanical thing; apparently if Americans can see the reporter's boobs, she can't be a trustworthy news source. (?!)

Speaking of non-trustworthy female news sources, the earlier citation herein re: Ann Coulter reminded me of something from Saturday Night Live last year that--amazingly--made me laugh hysterically. I think it was Darrell Hammond doing his Chris Matthews impression, and at one point he shouted at whoever was portraying Coulter, "I'd call you a media whore, but that's an insult to whores!" I couldn't agree more. :)

And notice how I didn't mention Canada back up there? Hey, y'all gots da Naked News 'n such, though that notwithstanding--and if the NHL ever gets its frickin' act together--between gay marriage and the far less draconian drug laws alone, my pledge to move to Vancouver after my parents die is looking more and more like a sure thing (provided they'll let me emigrate--Ernst, be a dear and have a word with those handsome boys at the border, will you?).

Still, I feel SO bad to have forgotten it was Canada Day yesterday that in penance I could hit myself over the head with my Official NHL game-used stick that's propped up in the sliding-glass window behind me (because I'm AT HOME! Not at THE LIBRARY!), but, like, that would hurt! Can't my Maurice Richard poster, Kids in the Hall DVD's and souvenir Canadiens flag--also here behind me here--AT HOME--lend some authenticity to my atonement? (Gee, it's so fun being able to fake that you're Catholic!)

I promise, I'll make a huge deal over Thanksgiving! You know, in *October*?! ;)

Sorry, kids. I know that I *promised* I'd calm down soon, but...this is the first time I've been able to actually read the Comments page at a leisurely pace, and even click on the links! Without an obnoxious loud kid or a smelly library patron next to me, even!

Actually, Zef, I saw the article on Sr. Pinguin in yesterday's NY Times (can I just say, btw, how GREAT it is to once more be able--as I did nearly every day, from '96-'03--to have breakfast while reading the NYT Obits? It's the preferred waking-up process for us morbid sods who aren't so keen on the Anne Rice [don't get me started on the A.N. Roquelaire books!]). :P

And while yeah, I personally find that character really offensive, I also have to keep in mind my own cultural perspective--the same one that had a *really* hard time when initially watching Mexican programming because of how comparatively sexist it is. If mi amiguito is ever able to watch any U.S. (or British) news programs, he'll see that ALL female journalists are very covered-up & conservatively dressed; if female reporters here dressed like they do in Latin America--with super-short skirts and miles, sorry, metres o' cleavage--they'd be perceived as having zero credibility, I guess because of our damn Puritanical sensibilities; apparently if Americans can see the reporter's boobs, she can't be a trustworthy news source. (?!)

Speaking of non-trustworthy female news sources, the earlier citation herein re: Ann Coulter reminded me of something from Saturday Night Live last year that--amazingly--made me laugh hysterically. It was Darrell Hammond doing his Chris Matthews impression, and at one point he shouted at whoever was portraying Coulter, "I'd call you a media whore, but that's an insult to whores!" I couldn't agree more. :)

And notice how I didn't mention Canada back up there? Hey, you-all gots da Naked News 'n such, though that notwithstanding--and if the NHL ever gets its frickin' act together--between gay marriage and the far more sensible laws re: controlled substances alone, my pledge to move to Vancouver after my parents die is looking more and more like a sure thing (provided I'm allowed to emigrate--Ernst, be a dear and have a word with those kind boys at the border, will you?).

Still, I feel SO bad to have forgotten it was Canada Day yesterday that in penance I should hit myself over the head with my Official NHL game-used stick that's propped up in the sliding-glass window behind me (because I'm AT HOME! Not at THE LIBRARY!), but, like, that would hurt! Can't my Maurice Richard poster, Kids in the Hall DVD's and souvenir Canadiens flag--also here behind me here--AT HOME--lend some authenticity to my atonement? (Gee, it's so fun being able to fake being Catholic!)

I promise, I'll make a huge deal over Thanksgiving! You know, the one in *October*?! ;)

Edited by author 07-02-2005 11:48 PM
Yikes, sorry. Really wasn't trying to make a point through repetition, there...where the hell did the little 'edit' function go? I got nuthin... :(

Oh, okay, with *this*one* I get to edit, but the two previous ones...nada. Kindly system administrator--presumably he of the kitty-homicidal-tendencies neighbors (BASTARDS!MUST!DIE!), feel free to machete up l'previous.

AHA, yes, it works like this. Now, to draw a big red line around the house in celebration!

Bill:Mimi:
WOW! You're actually being "mean" to Davey, and he's accepting it as concrit! Whoever saw THAT comming, just a few years ago? Those New Meds must be awesome.
Well, I AM being pretty mild compared to what he's put up with on the old PoE forums ;)
I'm posting in an area where my real name can be found without too much difficulty, so I have to have my manners on. Name-calling really doesn't accomplish much(unless it's behind his back, like here ;)) and I for one don't want to be deemed a jealous troll by Gont.

It's spelled SCOTTISH, you idiot Davey! And it's insulting to my forebears if it isn't spelled "SCOTS"!
I have Scots ancestors too, Bill... *comf*
I could have pointed out that Northern Irish counts as well, but then he might have characters talking like the Lucky Charms elf - which ANY true Irishman laughs at.
I love how he reassures me that I will enjoy what he plans to do with Pipkin. I think he hasn't quite cottoned on that not everyone who looks at his stuff is a 'fan' >:)
And hey, I compelled Davey to take a POLL as to whether to change Pipkin's last name! Anything other than have to make one up himself. Like anyone honestly cares?

Mimi-- polite or not, that was a serious boot-job you did on him. But 'brava' for it, as it's about time someone put a polite toe-cap to him. Like Bill, the semi-lucidity of the response amazes me (as does the indication of how VERY insulated from reality he is-- "More than one accent per country?!").

Zef-- From a north of all the borders perspective, those stamps are pretty alarming. Of course, in hyper-liberal Holland, a similar characature travels with St. Nicholas each christmas, and a different version is still used in some places to indicate an apothecary (because when you need an aspirin, you immediately think 'cartoonish moor'-- sure wish I could find an image online to share).

Lils-- It's the preferred waking-up process for us morbid sods who aren't so keen on the Anne Rice
Just before I opened this page, I was on BBC, and they've got an article about my final resting place. So, morbidity is certainly allowable up here. For ease of immigration, BTW, drive through at the Portal, ND crossing, and say you're from Langenburg... or wherever it was you had said you'd visited some time ago, and declare the allowance of cheap hard liquor you're bringing home. They don't check too hard.

Edited by author 07-03-2005 06:11 PM
Lils:
I guess you figured it out, but you need to log in to edit or delete posts. Since you use a different name every time, that may not be an option...

Mimi:
Where's the Pippkin poll? Wanna bet Davey wants to change his name from a Frenchy one because he's still a "Freedom Fries" conservative?

DVK said "At least I have a tea part down pat."
Riiiight. Wanna bet that he knows exactly 2 types of tea, Nestea in the can and "tea, Earl Grey, hot"? And guess the TV show where he got the Earl Grey reference? (Hey, wait, that guy was English with a French surname, too!)

This whole amazement over "Brits have more than one accent" doesn't surprize me. The dude claims to be an anime encyclopedia, but he thought "Nitsan" was a Japanese name, instead of randomly chosen syllables. What would surprize me is if he ever once got a real-world detail right. I imagine that he couldn't get anything correct beyond the price of a Big Mac. "Want Freedom Fries with that?"

And what's with "50 Whuffie Points to whoever could give me the refrence where I got Pippkin's 'nickname,' which of course he hates." Wouldn't he have to actually TELL US the nickname before we got our precious Davey Whuffie?
(EDIT: Oh. It's "Stewfixings." Cause he's a rabbit! Or some crap)

And WHEN IS SOMETHING GOING TO HAPPEN? A dog collar covering a seam, WOOO, now that is ACTION!!!

But 'brava' for it, as it's about time someone put a polite toe-cap to him.

I've noticed, Ernst, discovering the awesomeness of spanish? anyway, i felt compelled to give my own two cents about this, (because it could be some english word i don't know) because maybe you meant 'bravo', but 'brava' is basically used as 'wild' when talking about a female something. (bravo also means wild, but a wild male something) so it works and i found it amusing and i'll shut up about that.

Yeah, I know the dude looks hella stereotypical and offensive, but basically he's a hero to the people who've read him. amusingly, the strip is about him, isn't derogative, and the african mexican community (or well, cuban mexican) is pretty cool with it. so the problem lies in the char. design, which the author managed to get away with 'cause of the almost nil african mexican population. It made me think when one of those scantily clad newsanchor Lils talks about was commenting about it and said 'we didn't complain when speedy gonzález appeared' but maybe we'll wait for stamps of him to appear to do so.

Reason for DVK's sudden productivity: He really is doing 2 days a week at the Flakes. And Mimi, thanks to your input, he corrected the spelling of "comming." No matter how many times he'll continue to spell it wrong in the future (or in his current comments).

Note that it's a "Dead Davey Strip." I assume he'll meet his doubled quota by making more "art" that doesn't actually advance the plot.

I've noticed, Ernst, discovering the awesomeness of spanish?

Hmmm.... I was just going with opera-style hoorahs, which I assumed stem from Italian, although the plural 'bravis!' sure looks like Latin to me. Of course, what are Spanish and Italian but branches of the Latin tree, lopped off and left in diverse gardens (unlike the creepy Frankenstieny thing called 'English')?

And WHEN IS SOMETHING GOING TO HAPPEN?

Hey, are you forgetting that month of implied sex? You know, when Scarl/im was unconscious and doing nothing but talking to itself, and then awoke to find the rapist/helpmate? ACTION!

Good Gourd, does the Gont ever get tired of talking about himself?
I found a Devart entry written by a girl having a rant about how porno-furry artists are ruining the reputation of people who just like to draw anthro-animals. Fair point, I guess. She goes on to then accuse animation studios of being biased against admitting furry artists because of the above-mentioned stigma. I posted a comment setting her straight on that one (nicely!). Oh, but Davey chucked in a comment, too. As usual, it makes crap-all sense except to say 'ME! MEMEMEMEMEMEME!!'
I'm making a nod in your direction about what you said. And this is someone who's clame to fame is a comic strip about a vixen costume that is _definitely_ a Furry. (52DDs and a working vigina? I think Scarlet qualities.)

However, I've found a way to dodge any more of the stigma, above what I still have from my fanfiction, if course: One, I wouldn't waste my time with the corporations anyway though with a diffrent purpose; I don't want my talents taken from me and presented to the world, and the only way I can be a part of it is to buy a ticket or fill out a castmember application. (Phrack Off Eisner) Two, and this is more important, I consider myself a _web cartoonist_ first, not a furry, and would look down on those who don't know the diffrence.

So I'm an arrogant cuss nobody would work with, which will curse me with a life-lon career in fast food for groceries, but that's the risk I'll take in maintaining my self-image as well as protecting my most valuable possessions, my intellectual property.

In a related subject, I wonder how to incorporate the bad press Furries get in my comic strip. I know that the main topic is an Evil version of Disney, but I'll try to make room for other topics as well.

This comment is Davey in a nutshell, look at it! It's a smorgasboard of egotistical wankery, I dunno where to START! He can't spell 'vagina'...(are we at all surprised?)
His shitty characters are SO VALUABLE that he would rather be a bottom-level bagboy than let a company market them. (Not that any company would WANT to, but it just goes to show how big his ego is - that he thinks he has the clout to make his characters world-famous on his ownsome. Uh-huuuuuh.)
He spouts on about his stuff when NOONE ASKED or has probably even HEARD of him.
This is the gem, though:
I consider myself a _web cartoonist_ first, not a furry, and would look down on those who don't know the diffrence.
Er.... I had no idea people DID confuse the two. I'M a web cartoonist and noone's ever dumped ME in with the furries.
Suuuure, Davey... as you keep doing long-drawn-out sequences of characters donning fursuits and feeling the skin bond with theirs and genitalia disappear, you're a WEB CARTOONIST, dammit, not a furry perv. 9_9

Complaints of how the Dirty Furries are ruining the fandom for the Clean Furries? *sigh* Shades of the Burned Furs hysteria. Except that did more damage to the fandom, as it gave loads of publicity to the very problem it wanted to squelch.

Re tininess of Bento boxes - yes, the kiddie ones are teenyweeny. However, I fit a comfortably sized lunch in my box - the one shown in my site's photos - and you can get one Right here. for $10, shipping included. 8.5" x 6" X 2", four compartments of different sizes. Get a large cotton napkin to use as a furoshiki and you're set!

Sorry for not being active in the comments, but I'm enjoying my time in the Deeper South, counting all the Ten Commandments signs that people have put in their front yards, scanning the radio frantically for a classical music station, and picking red clay from my shoes from each visit outside.

I've taken a lot of pictures of some newborn kittens--there were five, but sadly, one died a few days later. When I get home, I'll upload them and let'cha guys see the cute buggers.

(Fun Cat Trivia: Did you know that if you pick out a box for the mama cat to have her kittens in, she'll choose an entirely different location? Like a crowded bedroom closet? We'll never get those stains out...)

Edited by author 07-05-2005 02:44 PM
52DD

Pardon what may be my Davey-like ignorance, but isn't the "52" the circumference of the ribcage or such? So wouldn't Scarlett be built like a brick shithouse--literally?

edit:
protecting my most valuable possessions, my intellectual property

His what? Stealing a character and changing his name from "Jonathon Brisby" to "Jonny Briz" does not make him your property. Hey, here's my new character, Michael Mouse! And his dog, Polluto!

FK:

KITTIES!
Are you keeping any?

I don't know about brick or house, but...

Pardon what may be my Davey-like ignorance, but isn't the "52" the circumference of the ribcage or such? So wouldn't Scarlett be built like a brick shithouse--literally?

I don't think the ignorance is yours Bill, I think it belongs to the guy with the $25 a week apartment!
52DD is just huge in the mammary department, hell any DD is huge. I bet he looked at the size on his grandma's bra or just pulled the number out of thin air, like he does with most of his facts!
I bet Davey think his twinky is 16 inches long as well!

Edited by author 07-05-2005 07:13 PM
Look, it's been a long time since we had such a motherlode of prime DVK crazy ranting, so I'm going to continue to pick at it. Like it's a scab.

And this is someone who's clame to fame is a comic strip about a vixen costume that is _definitely_ a Furry. (52DDs and a working vigina? I think Scarlet qualities.)

However, I've found a way to dodge any more of the stigma, above what I still have from my fanfiction, if course: One, I wouldn't waste my time with the corporations anyway

EISNER: WHAT? He won't join up with our Evilocity? But--but--the only thing that could save the Disney Parks would be a barrel-chested giant fox with a working vigiginina!

LACKEY: Um, sir, the Goofy with the giant squirting ding-dong terrified the children. And we didn't have a big success with Minnie the Menstruating Mouse, either...

TOADIE: She made the Main Street USA Parade smell funny.

EISNER: SILENCE! His robot-vixen intellectual property is SOOOO ORIGINAL! I shall stop at nothing until this genius Gonterman is my BRAIN-SLAVE! Fetch me my Giant Robotic War-Suit!

LACKEY: If you want the one with Enormous Pneumatically-Operated Dildo, its weiner is busted.

EISNER: Oh. Well...let me know when that's fixed, 'kay?

(edited for Daveyish grammar)

I'm an arrogant cuss nobody would work with, which will curse me with a life-lon career in fast food for groceries

Another one of those brief glimpses into Davey's real life. Oh, how he suffers for his art, just as Vincent van Gogh did when he had to work at Wendy's (until he was fired when they found that ear in the chili).

Maybe he doesn't know how much rent is because his Mom doesn't charge him for that. But he does have to pay for food. I'll bet he knows how much the giant bag of Cheetos costs!

Bill, that Eisner dialogue was just beautiful. I want to have its children :)
As for the bra size - US sizings are different to Au ones, so I have no earthly idea if 52 is enormous. I think it is, because I did an As If! once where bra sizes were involved. My US brains trusts(aka As If! forum) all assured me that 38 was about a normal young female size.
Scarlet's tail must have a core of lead-lined titanium to act as sufficient counter-balance to those boobs.

I SO want to reply to Davey's comment, but a)the thread has nothing really to do with him, b)he'd know I'm following him around and c)why give him the attention? ;)

On the chest-size thing: I wear a 52 Chest in suits. My wife wears a 38DDD in bras. She can wear my dress-shirts comfortably. So, if Scarlet is a 52DD, then she's got a chest like mine WITH only very slightly smaller breasts than my wife's suspended from it (for comparison's sake, Arnie in "Conan" form was 57" around the rock-hard pappets). As the owner of the bosom-free version, I can say with authority-- that chick is never going to buy a non-custom shirt, wear a seatbelt, nor get through a doorway without a serious struggle. And modelling? HAHAHAHAHA!

Bento: Right here on the prairies, 9.5" on a side. One wonders... do they make export versions for us slovenly fattyfatfatfat westerners?

Ernst - I've seen those boxes in larger Asian markets. My opinion is that they're overpriced and oversized. But if you want one that huge, just find a Asian market with housewares or check on Amazon.

Negaduck, i was browsing deadjournal last night, and i found under the mood icons several done by 'Negaduck9'. those yours? the cat eyes rock. severely.

::sigh:: You're right, Bill, about the 'edit' functions (along with most other things too, actually). From now on I'll limit myself to the single semi-ubiquitous fallback pseudonym...oh, how weary, stale, flat and unprofitable, not to mention suck-acious. Though being confined to a single surname herein of course doesn't compare to being a subliterate furry perv laboring under the misapprehension that he's a whip-smart parodist/competent cartoonist. (I also simply consider it basic good manners to correctly spell the equipment of the opposing team, as it were; even though Davey unquestionably has no RL-experience with a 'virginia,' I certainly stopped spelling it 'pinis' long before I ever became personally acquainted with one.)

52DD is just huge in the mammary department, hell any DD is huge.

Oh, Steve, honey...taking into account the discussed differences between U.S. and Australian sizing, I'm still compelled to cite that the average American woman supposedly is a size 14, 5'4" and 150 lbs, making DD's in and of themselves not *that* huge, per se (though 52DD is admittedly a bit outside that range). And hence I quibble a tad at the "any DD is huge" assertion.

Predictably enough, I am in fact a 34DD, and while every bra I own is a Minimizer, I also manage to somehow get thru doors and narrow hallways without any difficulty, and only suffer a bit more back pain than the average gal (which could be ascribed to my neuromuscular disease & genetics just as much as the ol' giganto-rack). In fact, since young Zef apparently just put up links here to new photos of his fine self (my sweet but memory-challenged friend Nancy invariably sees the one of him up on my fridge and squeals, "Who IS that cute guy?" every time she's over here), perhaps if he's so willing and/or able, he could do the same with the pic I recently sent him of me y la familia last Xmas, just to establish visual proof that someone with the 'DD' designation doesn't automatically require the intervention of medical personnel and/or structural engineers whenever we need to shuffle off to Trusses R Us...?!

(Hey, at least I received naught but the warmest approbation from your masculine compatriots while I was there in Melbourne, Sydney & Katoomba--though of course, that's always the way, as I seriously doubt the hetboys in either hemisphere would be such tremendous fans of the breastage if they had to lug 'em around all day like we do.)

Well, to be able to edit to the full extent, you have to register as well, (and login) that's what would limit the name usin'. otherwise, it's all ok. Personally I don't remember if i stole the idea off you, but even if i'm registered i'm too lazy to log in and thence change name now and then for kicks. anyway, what you requested, It's been done. (i always carry it around with the other data, so it was easy)

making DD's in and of themselves not *that* huge, per se

Well, as a guy, I find anything above an AAA to be more than enough!
And yeah, the sizing thing really confuses me.
But talking about funbags is a great way to kill time :)

Bill, I hope you feel better soon. Having the syndrome must suck!

Lilly:

Well, you could change your surname every other month, when I change the Comments.

a subliterate furry perv laboring under the misapprehension
"...that they're birds!"
'arold! 'e's that most dangerous of animals, a clever sheep!
(for the rest of the world: file under "Obscure Python geek refs")

Speaking of which...I'll see Spamalot in 10 days! If you have some souvenir requests, let me know. (That you'll pay for, I mean)

Nooooo... I like Lilly's surnames! :(

Crap, Bill, you're the second friend who has/is seeing Spamalot. Jealous!

Zefiel - yes, I did those Deadjournal mood themes. I did a buttload more ReBoot mood themes as well, and packaged them so that paid users could have them as custom themes if they liked.

Edited by author 07-07-2005 11:39 PM
Spamalot. Jealous!

Maybe it'll play at the Sydney Opera House. If things like that play there.
I'M jealous of those people who snagged that commemorative tin of "Spamalot Golden SPAM," for the approximately 30 seconds that it was available.
I didn't get me any of that canned Japanese "Godzilla Meat" either! And I had people in Japan looking for it!
I'll never be an eBay tycoon at this rate.



edit:
Exactly what do we have to say here to get Tori off the Google ads? I've no objection to her, just...it's been over a week, she's always there, and I'm the first to even mention her.
Say...have you heard BRIAN ENO's new CD? It's by BRIAN ENO! If you're not a fan of BRIAN ENO, I don't recommend it. Unless, like me, you love BRIAN ENO.

(pulls blanket over head, and rocks back and forth while mumbling "eno eno eno eno eno, make new Google ad")

Huge T*** A*** fan here, so I have no problem with the ads..even if they ARE redundant in my case, as I HAVE all her CDs.
But it's Bill's board, so BRIAN ENO BRIAN ENO BRIAN ENO just to help things along ;)

Edited by author 07-08-2005 06:53 AM
Well I must be getting my feed via Mars, because all I am seeing is Google ads for bulk emailers(spam tools). I think the Google ads mechanism works on cookies on your PC, it is the only way I can explain why I am not seeing what you guys are.
And NO, I do not spam, my research was done with my anti-spam hat on. I pride myself in the fact that I have cut down the level of spam at work to almost zero.

I do hope that Spamalot comes downunder. I am not a rabid Monte fan, but I have seen a lot of their works and enjoyed them a lot.

On a final note: I would just like to say that the London incident confuses the hell out of me. How the can people who do this sort of thing hope to garner support? Killing innocents is wrong in any religion/belief system. How can these people justify what they are doing. They are a bunch of yellow cowards in my opinion.

Edit: Now I am getting the T A ads, so my previous thoughts on cookies seems to be wrong. It must have something to do with posting and things on the page. Hell I don't know.
Brian Eno Brian Eno Brian eno - Oy Oy Oy!
Bloody Google!

T&a, plus some stuff about art canvas. I can't help but approve of that. Not so big on this Eno critter, so... Terry Pratchet! Niels Bohr! J.S. Bach!

M.C. Frontalot! Larry Niven! Diet Vanilla Decaf Coke With Lime and Splenda!

Alkalol!

 Tequila! Burros! Gatos! yeah, BACH! Edvard Hagerup Grieg!! Edvard Hagerup Grieg!! GRIEEEEEG!!

/Feels a bit better, still depressed about London

Edited by author 07-09-2005 07:50 PM
Steve:I am not a rabid Monte fan,
Oh really, I always hated those biscuits. The chocolate coating always tasted a bit flinty to me ;p

And now for something completely different... alright, back to NORMAL, then: New Scarlet!
And we enter page FIVE of 'getting ready to actually LEAVE THE HOUSE'....
Oh no, Davey's already mangled the gay lifestyle, now he's trying to be GIRLY! Haven't the Fab Five tought him ANYTHING? Clearly, Carson told him that all women stow their purses in their BOOTS 9_9 I wear calf-high boots and there's no WAY you can fit anything other than your legs into them.
What is that in front of Scarlet, the Hitchhiker's Guide to Max Factor?
I have to wonder if Davey has even HEARD of the term 'fag hag', because that's sure what Scarlet's looking like right now...
"Preteen Praternal Twins"?.... I think my brain just assploded.
How long has it been since Scarlet actually made a complete sentence in less than one page?

Re: Mims liking the surnames... ::ducks head, shuffles feet:: Aw, shucks.

Bill, I can't remember if I mentioned this in my LJ or not, but at the end of Eric Idle's highly entertaining The Greedy Bastard Diary he's written a chapter on the genesis of Spamalot--no, not about the film, but how they came up with the idea for the musical, the other Pythons' first reactions & input, etc.

In any case, I anxiously await your review, as personally I still can't believe the whole thing is such a success; the HUGE crush I had on Mr. Idle at age 12 (erm, me, not him) notwithstanding, I could only assume this was going to be somewhat of a stinkbomb, given the tenor of his most recent career choices (i.e. appearing on Suddenly Susan).

Considering that Wicked just premiered in L.A. this past week and it originally opened on Broadway what, two years ago? I have grave doubts about Spamalot opening in Sydney on anything like a timely basis. I hope I'm wrong, though.

Hmmmm, no-one asked which one I am in the picture, or is it just rampantly obvious? (Though in my latest GirlWorld Insight for Zef, I hate how my auntie's wearing black too, which makes it look like that's all me. It isn't!) :-O

Lils: I work almost right next door to the Capitol Theatre, which has been running Lion King for the past few years (It opened shortly before I left Australia and closed just a week ago). I would LOVE to have Wicked, Avenue Q or Spamalot move in, but instead we're getting Fiddler on the Roof, with Topol starring. How old must he be by now??

Me again. The Davey Double-Bill continues... with another 'preview' picture.
Oh no. KIDS. 'Preteen Praternal twins' even!....
Oh god, look at Scarlet holding the kid. ERASERS, David! They are your FRIEND!
'Hi, I'm Pippkin. I was drawn totally separately, shrunk down and pasted on. That's why my linework is so fine!'
...nope, still can't pick Pip as English, can you?

Yay! Gontling's got his "makes your brain hurt" powers back! They're manifesting a little differently, but man, does my brain hurt. Y'see, Davey, to a normal brain, moving from empty-Scarlet in a box fresh out of the research facility to 'ho-Scarlet who's popular with some urchins requires that she be seen getting out of the damn living room.

Maybe the kids snuck in and took some stills during the three-day unconscious rape.

with Topol starring. How old must he be by now?? He's exactly one month younger than Edvard Grieg-- who is the young punk of north European classical composers.

Edited by author 07-09-2005 09:10 PM
Nothing will spice this up like a pair of obnoxious brats. One wonders what font Davey'll use for their dialogue. Any bets on them being anime fans?

Somebody needs to point out to Davey that most comic strips do not require continual footnotes to make them even marginally make sense. And what's this "theme park" crap? She's been in, as Ernst pointed out, a living room so far, as well as an Evil Lab and a box. Where'd she meet them?

And again, that obsession of his about creating his own Mousketeers. Didn't happen with the "Brizketeers," Davey, and it really really isn't gonna either with your working-vigina slutbot. "Mommy, can we go to Daveykin's Anime World and bang the horny fox? Pleeeease???"

What is a "combini"? Why does getting clobbered by a big doggie cause the bad mans to yell "KON!" Is he Captain Kirk? (No, wait, that'd be "KHAAAAAN!") Why does the bad mans wear the nylon stocking over his chin? Do combini securicams have chin-recognition software?

edit: Mimi, you shouldn't have warned him about "paternal."

9_9 Sorry, I'm spoiling the fun again...
I didn't touch anything else, though!

I wondered what the crap a 'combini' was, too, but I didn't ask.
I'm waiting for the Kingdom Hearts refs to pick up again. It's only a matter of time before Adam Packbell and his Big Whacky KeyStick makes a cameo...

I Googled, and..."A Combini is the Japanese term for a Convenience Store."
Anyone else groaning? Because you KNOW the KON! Man wasn't in Japan, he was in a 7-11. It's just another of Davey's constant reminders that he watches anime. But thinks that "Nitsan" sounds Japanese, and not made-up.

I wonder if in a combini you can get a Squid-Ink Slurpee.

Anyone else groaning?

I'm still groaning from the awful accents he insists on using. It makes MAH brain bleed!

<DVK> Feel free to make more comments, tell me what you like about it.

Cause all anyone else points out are my speeling mistakes.

<DVK> What do you want to see in future pages, and all that.

Cause it's taken me months to get to this point and they still haven't left the room they started in.

<DVK> I'll be very attentive to your input, which will help me improve on this good thing I have.

Mwahahahaha, go you good thing Davey.

Clearly, Gonty has NO story planned at ALL for Scarlet PI. He keeps asking people for input, so he obviously has no story to tell. He just wants to whore his characters because any acknowledgement/interest of them by others, no matter how minute, is only validating to him that they are The Next Mickey 9_9

Steve:Mwahahahaha, go you good thing Davey.
Oh damn, I'm having Dream flashbacks! Pity only you and I probably remember the song! ;)

Oh, by the way, Bill. You asked way back where the Pippkin name poll was. I finally found it here

Pity only you and I probably remember the song!

Well I have it on DVD or VHS. If it is on DVD then I might rip the track and put it up for everyones torture ^w enjoyment.

Go you good thing, go it go it hard. Go you good thing GO!

<DVK> I'll be very attentive to your input, which will help me improve on this good thing I have.

Gosh, this is inspirational. There are few victims of horrifying, crippling deformities that take that kind of positive approach to their affliction. Just imagine if John Merrick had declared, "I (wheeze) am a human being... of the most singular and striking visage!"

Song? Hansel? Huh?

Ernst:Song? Hansel? Huh?

Aussie joke. 'Go, you good thiiiiing!!!!!' became a popular barracking cry here after the 2000 Olympics.

More great moments in Gonterland.

This particular gem relates to Daveys wonderful shading technique on an art trade he did.

<Random Bystander> hoy! good job, looks a bit rough though

<Davey> Well, it's probably because I prefer to do grayshading in pencils in my artwork. I can do ink and color as well, but I'm my most comfortable using varying degrees of pencils.

What did he do with the stumps he bought? Smoke em? He sure as hell ain't learned to use them.
It is a typical response from Davey to crit of his works, it's just missing the 'but I was in a hurry' added in there somwhere!

art trade
looks a bit rough

Rough trade?

Who are these 2 people who always praise whatever poop the Gontermonkey throws lately? Is it some weird metajoke?

The Mushroom Princess: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2478752/1/

I should be killed. Seriously, THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST PART. There are many more forthcoming. I don't even know what this is supposed to be. Is it comedy or what? I dunno. It just fell onto my paper.

LaGrey, most entertaining! Although I think you overuse the ' in the first part. Isn't that supposed to represent a stressed syllable? (ie, wing'd is pronounced "wing-ED" not "winged")

"The eerie green of the pipe them enfold
The magic transports them without a sound."

No sound? The soundtrack went "Doo doo doot doot DA DOOT!" Except when they punched the coins in the sky. ;D

Davey:Well, it's probably because I prefer to do grayshading in pencils in my artwork. I can do ink and color as well, but I'm my most comfortable using varying degrees of pencils.

'Varying shades'? All I see is 'press' and 'lift'. I don't think I've ever seen a single shaded gradient in his work.

Bill:What did he do with the stumps he bought? Smoke em? He sure as hell ain't learned to use them.
I don't he honestly has any idea how to use a stump properly. They're used for blending gradients, which we all know he can't do. I personally just used my fingers or a tissue ;)
Knowing Davey, getting off his arse and getting to *gasp* an art shop and buying a stump (probably a Michael's) just made him feel soooooo like a proper ARTIST. Effort ends there.

The people who praise his work seem to be sad little under-furries, judging by the art they tend to Favourite.
Oh, and in the same comment thread, Davey quips to the girl who drew Scarlet for the 'trade': Great Minds Think Alike
Er... no, she actually has some TALENT(she's young and a bit rough around the edges, but nice kid). There hasn't been a single art trade he's done where he's better than or even EQUAL to the other artist. Why on earth would anyone even THINK his stuff worthy of trading?

Edited by author 07-11-2005 09:55 AM
I have a suspicion/hope that the "fan art" Gontlet links to is people trying desperately to show him how it can be done properly. Maybe one day he'll take off his hack-coloured glasses and notice the different in quality between the fannish doodles and their inspiration.

I don't expect Steve and Mimi will hear it, but the sound of his head exploding should reach the rest of us.

[edit: I think I had a stroke last night. I had to use the dictionary twice to confirm spellings....]

"Isn't that supposed to represent a stressed syllable? (ie, wing'd is pronounced "wing-ED" not "winged")"

Heh, actually, the opposite is true, for example, "tow'r" is one syllable. I was actually dorky enough to make sure every line has exactly ten syllables, which is why it rarely makes sense.

I think it might be funnier if you've read The Fairie Queene. Might.

I think it's cute how gonterman disses the Xbox 360, when his 'gaming platform of choice' is 'Gameboy advance *emulator*'.

So, yeah, Canto II is up:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2478752/2/

Apparently, there's going to be seven cantos of this. Seven! What the hell, brain?

Hobox: I think it's cute how gonterman disses the Xbox 360, when his 'gaming platform of choice' is 'Gameboy advance *emulator*'.

Yeah, it is cute. Especially when a quick google shows that the emulators are only available on Windows. Once again Davey shows that he sees life through a tunnel.

Mimi:
Er... no, she actually has some TALENT

She also, apparently, has the sense to delete her Gontertribute, as it ain't there no mo.

LaGray:
How embarassing! Like "ever" is "e'er"! No wonder I'm an ex-English major!
(But, ah, what kind of accent do you have that pronounces "winged" as 2 syllables? It's pronounced "wingd" in New England...)
On the other appendage, I've read Spenser, and keep up the good work! It's a very enjoyable mashup!
(I also read "The Worm Ourobouros," and couldn't read modern English for about 2 days afterward.)

(Here's some more words for people who enjoy seeing them in parantheses)

Bill:
I'm...actually not sure why I wrote wing'd. Maybe I did go overboard with the 's.

Ernst:I don't expect Steve and Mimi will hear it, but the sound of his head exploding should reach the rest of us.
Someone make sure they tape it when it happens, please? Otherwise Steve and I have to wait 6 months for the DVD.

Steve:a quick google shows that the emulators are only available on Windows.
Extreme rofling here. Mr Mimi's theory is that he's using WINE, a Windows emulator for Linux. So for Davey to indulge in his sworn PINNACLE of platform, he needs to run an emulator on an emulator.

Mimi: Mr Mimi's theory is that he's using WINE

Well I think he still runs his Win ME machine, he mentioned back when he switched to linspire that he would need to run ME until he could get all his apps ported/supported under linux.

He should be able to get some real good hi scores if he is running his GBA emulator under WINE (Windows emulator for linux) on the PC he runs linspire on. From what I could workout he bought a shop floor demo model (nothing wrong with them most times). But their base model was not very quick to start with and it looked like Davey got last years model. Oh well, the slower the PC the slower the DVK dribble.

If his head does explode then I want an mpeg/mp3, someone please record it. I don't think we need to warn Indonesia about tsunamis when it happens!

Edited by author 07-12-2005 04:08 PM
I think it's more about how he's still with the 'Hating Micro$oft is RAD!' wave than actual gaming preferences, or experience. or knowlegde of the actual Xbox 360. since those people won't even want to know facts about the very stuff they want to hate. (about the actual thing, i think it's not so bad, but worry if Microsoft didn't jump the gun a little early to give us gamers little more than enhanced graphics)

Plus, Win ME is sadly, the retarded cousin of Win98. (hides his comps, who run ME, except for his which dual boots with ME and XP) anyone heard about the OS-tans? Mimi? but anyway, hating Microsoft is so passé. Bill Gates is sponsoring Libraries with comps and net access here in Mexico!

Canto the next:
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2478752/3/

It just keeps coming. I don't know how to make it stop.

Oh, Mimi, I take it back.

Despite your correction, HE STILL SPELLS IT PRATERNAL!
I thought that the uncorrected version was "paternal." Which is an understandable mistake, although also a stupid one. WTF kinda word is "praternal"? Possibly the root is from "prattle," and thus means "derived from someone who babbles childishly." Which makes sense, given the source!

Hey every people. I've been reading this message board for a while, because mocking Gonterman is a most excellent pastime. I thought I'd post, being consumed by ennui and all. Now I'll pretend to have something to add. Uh..... beef.... stew.

Edited by author 07-13-2005 12:54 AM
Amanda:
Uh..... beef.... stew.

It's STEWFIXINGS!

Woo, Amanda and Hobox! New friends!

And how did you guys find out about an ocasionally anti-Gonterman message board that shifts its location monthly?

Bill: It's STEWFIXINGS!

Eep! Please don't sic a horrible Gontercreation on me! At least the rabbit is better drawn than the horrible fox thing.

Oh, and I've been reading the New for at least five years now... so.... yeah.

Bill HE STILL SPELLS IT PRATERNAL!
Huh. He's corrected it on the Deviantart version. well that's handy, I have the uncorrected version for the archive now :) *right-click, save as, lalala...*.

Oh no, 'praternal' is his original spelling. 'P' and 'F' are too far apart on the keyboard for it to be a typo.

Okay, tell you what. How about from now on, I remember to SAVE the ORIGINAL before correcting his spelling? Or should I just shaddup altogether. Do the Phrack Whores wish to take a vote?

HE STILL SPELLS IT PRATERNAL!

Perhaps he means preternatural? It makes less sense in context that fraternal, and it's still easier to spell that polyzygotic.

Zef:Bill Gates is sponsoring Libraries with comps and net access here in Mexico!
I have formed an opinion that when a guy in the US gets a certain amount of money, one of three things occur: He splits, is cloned, or opens a hole in space to the bearded-Spock universe. Thereafter, a good version and a bad version take turns locking the other in a closet and pursuing their agenda.
-Bill Gates: Horrible monopolist/Amazing philanthropist
-Ted Turner: Movies restored/colorized.
I'd give more examples, but it's 5:10am. *zzzzzz*

Edited by author 07-13-2005 07:52 AM
Beef stew!

Negaduck: Your bento box page is pretty cool. I want to try my hand at making rice balls one day. I'm inept enough to ruin anything more complicated than Kraft dinners, though, so I'll probably end up with something distinctly un-rice-ball-ish.

Edited by author 07-13-2005 07:14 PM
Well, Bill, besides the pepper spray, or Uzi, (ew, can't it be a PDW? pricier, but better than a lowly uzi, b'sides, isn't Byron's safety worth the cost of an easily concealable, full auto weapon?) may i recommend the guarding of Byron by...
SAMURAI-WIELDING NINJAS!
__
Just a lil MSPaint thing. dang, Bill, you're going to make me lug tablet around, i'm not used to draw with just a ball mouse anymore.
yay! new people! Bienvenida, Amanda.

I'm inept enough to ruin anything more complicated than Kraft dinners, though, so I'll probably end up with something distinctly un-rice-ball-ish.

I'm sure that Negaduck would agree, practise and patience are the name of the game. and the way to awesome onigiri. Gonterman is the only being for who practise doesn't help to improve whatsoever.

Mimi:
I say let him hoist himself with his own retard (Shakespeare Pun!). Let him make his mistakes. Of course, he's been told how many times it's not spelled "comming," and he always reverts to that after fixing it?

Zef:
LOL! It's the samurai-shaped scabbard that makes it work. All it needs is a Gonteresque SFX like "UNSHEATH SAMMURAY!!!"

I don't expect Steve and Mimi will hear it, but the sound of his head exploding should reach the rest of us.

Speaking of location, location, location, I must thankee all again for providing much-needed perspective; a few months ago I was bitching about the weather (whenever it gets over 70 F, I complain--yes, I know I should move, but I can't, all my stuff is here!) but then abruptly recalled how Ernst had mentioned it being around -27 F that week in Sask. And then I remembered that

a) I should shaddup (though this permeates my every waking thought anyway).
b) there's a *reason* why the film industry relocated here from NYC nearly a century ago, and t'weren't for the surfing...

And thus similarly, I tried to keep this in mind earlier today while waiting for the bus in 104 degree weather, as I'm *sure* it's gotta be worse wherever some of the rest of you are; still, it's difficult to restrain a flash of pure envy toward the Aussies, as it must be *gorgeous* there right now. (I think it was July when I visited--that's what, winter seguing into spring?--which made for a fantastic change from Japan and Hong Kong, so much so that I didn't ever want to leave!)

Still, it's difficult not to think of the myriad times my mom has asked why I didn't eventually go back and permanently relocate in the UK (good to know she wants me out of the country), particularly since after the people and the history, the climate was a *major* inducement for me...although when I was last there, they were having an uncharacteristically torpid heat wave, which led to me burning my bum on one of the lions in Trafalgar Square (oh, the sacrifices we make for our friends who demand photo ops).

In any case, enough bitching about things we can't control--Your Zefness, thanks for providing the visual image we were all thinking of anyway. Now, get out of our heads, it's not polite to eavesdrop like that! (Still, if I can find the genuine cooly-oh bento box me fren Julee sent me from Japan, it'll be included in the ever-more-increasingly-heavy box that I still can't afford to send to you.)

PS: Hey, Amanda, your citation of "Kraft dinner" seems to indicate that Ernst finally has a fellow countryman (-person? -womyn?) on board herein--soyez le bienvenu! :)

Biiiiill.

Biiiiill.

http://stuffonmycat.com/

After two winters in Michigan, I swore NEVER to complain about Sydney weather again. It's the DEPTHS of winter right now, with temps in abouuut... *does quick C->F conversion in head*.. the sixties? It's sunny, but cool enough to need a light coat.
I found American weather a lot more extreme. When it's cold(outside CA or FL), it's FREEZING. When it's hot, it BAKES. The hottest I've ever been in the US was in New Orleans in July. But that figures, with their killer humidity ;)

Mmmm, onigiri :). All you BASICALLY need is a rice cooker and wet hands!

Zef: That is an awesome picture. Reminds me of a quote from Venture Brothers: "It's like two ninjas taped together to make a bigger ninja!"

Liliana etc.: I'm only Canadian in heritage, I live in America. I call them Kraft dinners because it's shorter than saying "Kraft brand macaraoni and cheese which I eat for dinner." Also, because of "If I Had a Million Dollars."

And also, that "stuff on my cat" site is awesome. The cat at the bottom shares his name with my cat and looks a bit like him too, for a second I thought it was mine! It's not, though....

Biiiiill.
http://stuffonmycat.com/

Siiiiigh.
It was on bOING bOING, Zef linked here, you link here...Well, I guess that I just don't find it very exciting. It's stuff. On cats.

Although I did get a huge laff today when Killsy was lying on her back, and I put some treats on her belly, just to see what she'd do. She managed to wiggle them into her armpits and bend her head down to eat them, never once actually standing up. Now THAT is perfect kitty laziness!

Davey has posted a whole pile of 'Lost Boy Found' crap in his scraps section.

Make sure you scrub your eyes with bleach and a wire brush before and after viewing them.

Edited by author 07-14-2005 04:27 AM
Bill, the link to the rockstar cartoons is to the Newest of the News, I gather that's not what you meant to do ;)

Meanwhile... Major Gonty Payload coming in, everyone got their masks on?
The Lost Boy Found journal entry. with 9 new sketches.
I... don't know where to begin. Shall we all take a page each? ;)
Ps - does anyone have a copy of the original Lost Boy Found text PDF? The one where Copper hypnotises him?

recalled how Ernst had mentioned it being around -27 F that week in Sask.

Well, I'm not going to complain about the +32C (about 90f) we had yesterday. But I AM going to complain about the 92% humidity! What the point of living mid-continent if it's going to be damp like ocean-side?! Stupid climate change.

...wait a minute. I wouldn't complain about a weasly -27 in anything except kelvin. I think it was -57 in your tiny fahrenheit thermal units-- with wind-chill taken into account. Yeah, I'll take +32, all right.

Mimi:
Ps - does anyone have a copy of the original Lost Boy Found text PDF? The one where Copper hypnotises him?

Gonterman needs to clean out his temp folder, for your reading pleasure I present the original.

Enjoy!

Amanda - thanks, glad you like my bento page. As for needing mad cooking $kI!z, read the page that details my adventure making an pan before you decide I'm a cooking whiz! Practice does make... well, not perfect, but certainly a lot better.

I haven't gotten the hang of making onigiri myself. I use rice molds instead. But when I make my next batch of sakura mochi (using yet another recipe) I'm going to have to hand-shape them around the filling, so I guess I'll get more practice in. BTW, you can use cheesecloth to help shape stuff if doing it by hand is too tricky.

Onigiri - like making snowballs, just a bit stickier :)
I bought some mochi from an asian grocers once so see what they were like. I actually didn't care for them that much - I toasted them lightly and even put some cheese in there. Mind you, I never really liked rice crackers either, so maybe I just prefer my rice unpounded ;)

Thank you for the link, Steve :) I raided that temp folder to see if anything was save-worthy. One pic in particular was, but it's not really eyes-safe. Adam Area!!

Mimi, what kind of mochi did you get? If they were the hard rice pucks, yeah, those are pretty blah. I only bought some by accident, thinking they were going to be like daifuku, which I love. Now I'm just using them as recipe ingredients, and when they're used up I won't buy any more.

But the soft, sweet ones, like sakura mochi and kashiwa mochi, are quite tasty. And daifuku are really good.

Negs: Yeah, they were the pucks. But I haven't encountered daifuku mochi, I'll keep an eye out for those, thanks :)

I'm confused as to the different types of mochi. The mochi I have had have been squishy, a little chewy, filled with sweet stuff, and have some sort of powder on top. Like ones with chocolate stuff and custard in the middle. They're pretty good.

Wendy Hey, Davey has gotten better at drawing girls. If only he could get rid of those horrible boxy eyes and doughboy feet.

Wendy Again Okay, maybe not. Here legs are like giant stone pillars and she has meaty man-hands! I love that profile pic in the upper-left, too. Maybe he should stick to three-quarters profile!

Note that Wendy is a "dye-hard" "Disney Otaku," a term which makes me want to smack Davey over the head with his own keyblade. And I guess that that Marcie is his girlfriend now...

Amanda:
"I like long flowing dresses for some reason."

He should draw more of them. They hide the fact that his females are built like Frankenstein monsters.

Edited by author 07-14-2005 12:10 PM
It's true. With the dress, he doesn't have to do those hips that look like the swivel hips on Barbie dolls.

On that particular picture, he also did a better job drawing arms than usual.

Mochi are rice cakes. They can be made different ways, some tastier than others. The frozen rice pucks are, IMO, a waste of time. The soft, chewy ones - often wrapped in a cherry or oak leaf - are quite good.

I've posted some mochi recipes, for those who are interested. They're for the sweet, tasty versions, not the pucks.

Bill -- speaking of the scary other universe of McDondalds, take a look at the IM I post
Here

Re: stuff on cats, I don't read a lot of blogs besides yours, and figured the reason you'd not linked this was that you were unaware of it. I mean, c'mon! Baby onna cat! It's a hilarious reversal!

Well admittedly, for the pic of Wendy in the dress, the pose AND the dress are copied from someone else ;)
I noted his new Wendy hair - it... Kinda resembles Return to Neverland Wendy's hair. In the way a blob of cool whip resembles a perfectly sculpted meringue.

Gonterpics:

No. 1:
WHAT is with him and the accents?

Turn ons: "Being the white night" (it was snowing) and "Vixen." Again with the fox fuckbot...always with the fox fuckbot...
Turn offs: "Pedophiles" (fucking animals is okay though)

"And you call ME a man-child because I have pointy head ears and can hopscotch the strip?" Umm, no, after that sentence, I call you insane.

No. 2:
"He does not take overbearing adults lightly, which will cause him problems with some authority figures, like a certain over-strict principle of a school his mother will not consider taking him to in the first place."
So...he's interacting with this "principle" outside of school? Do he just wander around town annoying the stupider kids freelance?

No. 3:
It actually is possible to make a Peter Pan costume gayer.

Don't worry about the feather switch, we're told, with no explanation of the giant clown feet. Second costume is for "private times" with Vixen. Always the fox fuckbot...

His "desert tan" skirt "doubles as camo." Send him to Iraq! He'll blend riiiight in with the 101st Airborne, who also wear dresses.

"Wrearing" appears twice.

No 4:
Turn ons: "Shooping," "Any game who's programmers took drugs while coding"
Turn offs: Things from Davey's high school years. Hey, it was only 20 years ago, you can't expect him to get over it!

Terrifying: Marcie is Davey's girlfriend. The mind boggles, the stomach churns.

"I'm doing this because of a rule made by all the good Novel Writers; trim out the deadwood." Davey is seen trying to stick a chainsaw into his ear.

No 5:
Dress looks reasonably unsucky! Oh wait, he admits he cribbed it.

No 6:
His gigantical feet are mesmerized by his adoptive mother's boobies.

50 whuffie points to whoever knows what a "g'basp" is. 10 years of therapy for anyone who gives a phrack.

No 7:
FOX FUCKBOT, HUZZAH!
With Elvis sideburns!

No 8:
Vixen, despite her name, does not have fox ears or tail. I am SHOCKED. Less shocked that she doesn't look like the real life Marcie; quite glad that unlike Marcie, Vixen wrears a bra.

"The Native American who found Vixen when she hit her head and lost her memories were Elrohir Telemnar."
I'm going way out on a limb here, but I'll bet that "Elrohir Telemnar" is as Indian a name as "Nitsan" was Japanese. Sounds like a bad ripoff of Tolkein. Oh wait, it is! Davey really knows how to research!

No 9:
Nothing too horrible. I'll mention that I forgot which earlier pic refered to Adam as an "11-year-old pre-teen boy," differntiating him from all 11 year old senior citizens.

In conclusion:
Remember "Baka Breakers," that glacially paced strip that took 70 episodes and all that happened was a girl applying for a job? All out the window. One can only wonder how quickly the revamped version will crawl.

BillAgain with the fox fuckbot...always with the fox fuckbot..
Let's not get our fox fuckbots mixed up, here. TARA is the fuckbot in LBF - and yeah, she's a fox. 'Vixen' is Marcie's avatar and a real person. Who has a pet fox.
Are we still confused? Yes? Good, moving on...;)

Umm, no, after that sentence, I call you insane.
I don't even want to THINK of the conversations Davey has in his head with himself. His character studies are the epitome of 'and this is important HOW?'

Terrifying: Marcie is Davey's girlfriend. The mind boggles, the stomach churns.
Hey, me too, but I consider Marcie an unwitting innocent in all this. At least she's not a jerk like David. She's just a silly Disney otaku and little else, A real-life Jean Teasdale(see the Onion). But if they make each other happy, who am I to begrudge them? *shrug*

I'm actually a little disappointed that Copper is gone. He was looking to be Davey's wish-fulfillment to be Hugh Hefner. But with masked french-maided fuckbots. Comedy GOLD that is now lost forever...

Ah yes, thanks for also spotting the Tolkien-named Native American, Bill. I could have called him on that, but it's too funny to spoil ;)

And I concur that, although he has all his characters worked out, I BET he has no story.
Sometimes I think I should go through all the past message boards and gather up the Gonter-commentary by us all. And then paste it onto the artwork like I did with Night Walkers, MST-style :)

Oh, another thing. I was online last night when the LBF sketches arrived in my Deviation alert. I looked at them, posted a few comments. Davey responded to them almost straight away. I checked the time. It was about 4.10am US Central time. He admitted in one of his comment replies that he was chatting and posting at the same time. Chatting, probably with Marcie, at 4 in the morning... with a lot of typos.

I don't even want to THINK about it >_<

More Gontermangling of the English language;

This is taken from his comments regarding this picture of his fox fuckbot, to quote Bill.

<DVK>Her main costume won't change, but Wendy's perchance of treating her like a living doll will put her in other cute dresses and the like.</DKV>

Do you think he means penchant??

And what is with the goofy look on her face. Duh I have the IQ of a cumquat, Duh!

Also, wrear is the kids left hand, wait don't tell me cause I don't want to know.

I love the way he blames typos on the fact that he's multitasking (eh, happens to us all, sometimes)... but the SAME typos are on the actual DRAWINGS.
He always says that you'll see his females in all sorts of teh cuteness in outfits. Yet he ALWAYS asks the viewers what he should dress them in...and then never gets around to showing any of their AMAZINGLY extensive wardrobes.

He really does spell it 'wrear'...*shakes head*

He really does spell it 'wrear'...

Twoard is another favorite of mine!

Hmmm. My brother has a deviant account. His wife (and, to a lesser degree, child) is a Native American. I'm contemplating pointing the Tolkien-dumbness out and seeing if an umbrage gets taken.

Edited by author 07-15-2005 08:38 AM
Ernst: All I can say is WOW. Your brother is one hell of an artist, congrats.

Edit: BTW, I forgot to add that your link is broken, this is the correct one here.

If I knew the first thing about Lovecraft, I'd second the notion. Some surreal genius there :)

Edited by author 07-15-2005 11:11 AM
I agree, the Cthulhu Last Supper is awesome. Also, the severed head of Fred Flintstone. He has a twisted imagination, and I approve.

Just got a 2 month trial of Xbox live. WOW. wowowowowow. it won't stop my life, though, since i can only use it at grandma's, where the DSL is. and then she's quite videogame aversed, so..

Speaking of bizzare videogame phenomena:
http://www.ebaumsworld.com/smb3beat-r.html
Truly, this is a titan among mortals.

Also, Canto IV is up: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2478752/4/

He really does spell it 'wrear'

I'm amazed that he spells it "shooping." I can see doing that on a keyboard, but what's a typo called when you're printing by hand? A printo?

what's a typo called when you're printing by hand? A printo?

A dimbo, maybe? A scrawlographical error?

Thanks for the link fix, Steve.

The saga continues to continue: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2478752/5/

I think I get extra bonus points for using the phrase "magic weed."

what's a typo called when you're printing by hand? A printo?

I dunno, but since i don't write by hand a lot anymore, it happens to me a lot when i do write. i think it's 'cos my mind tries to go faster than my hand can keep up

i think it's 'cos my mind tries to go faster than my hand can keep up

I suffer from this as well when using pen and paper.
Does anyone really think that Davey's mind is faster than his hand.

If we go by the speed of his comic plots, then I would say his mind runs at the same speed as 'molasses on a snowy winter morning!'

Meanwhile, Gonter-land brings crappy art but RL DRAMA:
Scarlet 43
Another rush job... because he was booted from his apartment?
Given that this JUST got posted and it's now 2.15am Central... y'think Davey could spend less time surfing all night and more time resting to WORK during the day?
And why does Scarlet's hair persist in looking like an upturned clump of metal nail files?
Toni:What if you have another schizoidic(sic) episode like before?
The correct answer to this is: Well dayamn, that's what cell phone cameras are for!
Scarlet:Toni dear, are my littl ol' brains about to ooze outta mah ears?
No, but ours are... /_\

I had ZERO time to do it because I was yanked out of my apartment at a critical time,

Reticulan #1: The Big Giant Head demands more anal probe results. We are 2.65 binglybeebs behind on our quota!

Reticulan #2: Hey! There's one no one's going to believe! Look at that shit he's drawing.

Reticulan #1: Hot damn! You warm up the probes, I'll crank up the grab-o-ray.

Ah, Big City Adventures--

...it also smelled like New York. If you've been there, you know what I mean. Like dirt and diesel and sweat and big pretzels with mustard.

London: Mainly diesel, some sweat;
Amsterdam: Diesel, fried treats;
Seoul: Diesel, last week's garbage, and a whole lotta squid.
Looks like diesel combustion wins the "too many people in one place near sea level" smell award. And on that note...

Oh, and you create a lot of snot. And on the second day...it's usually black.

After returning from Seoul, I expectorated something the size and colour of a small olive, with tiny black flocking particles. I hope that was all of it.

My smell impression of Seoul was of diesel and garlic. All that kimchi.

I've lived in a major city all my life and I've never hocked up or dug out anything black :/ Maybe if you grow up there, your body is permanently acclimated.
That, or Sydney just has relatively good air quality from being on a harbour.

Also, New Scarlet and end of Ch.1. Right down to the line stolen from Calvin and Hobbes.
Didn't Davey do a shortlived comic strip once about a dragon that was just ripped off from C&H?

Edited by author 07-19-2005 05:53 AM
We really should open a Phrack Poll.

The future of Scarlet PI;

1. This is the end, Davey has run out of ideas and just wanted it to stop!

2. Chapter 2 will arrive but it will take Davey about 2 months to draw each strip because of all the background work he will need to do.

3. Who the hell cares, at least we don't have to put up with that stupid accent for a while.

I'll go with (1), as it's the closest to my surmise that he's drawn out the "getting dressed so she can leave the crappy apartment" scene so much he's forgotten entirely the plot he suggested in which the theme park-lab needs to be tracked down... and wasn't Tod Notlob in there as well? It's been so long I also forget.

That, or Sydney just has relatively good air quality from being on a harbour.

I've seen pictures, and it does seem that the air is relatively non-grey. Now the world must discover the errie secret of antipodean internal combustion cleanliness!

"And Chapter One of Scarlet PI is finaly in the can"

I guess any joke I make here would be fairly obvious.

To review chapter one:

-Jim is a gay police officer who lives in a $25/month apartment.
-He finds a fursuit in the trash and of course brings it home with him.
-The fursuit tells him that it was manufactured in a theme park lab, and that if Jim puts it on, his brain will be merged with the fursuit forever.
-Of course Jim puts it on, because he can get far more boys as an anthropomorphic fox than as a cute young gay man.
-Jim's bi lover wanders in and, of course, rapes the fursuit. He is also completely accepting of the fact that his previous boyfriend has been forever replaced by a fox girl with an annoying accent.
-They take many weeks just to leave the crappy apartment.

Will the excitement ever stop start? Has Davey ever heard of such things as "characterization" and "narrative"? Will we have even more elaborate poorly-shaded rectangles as backgrounds? The suspense is terrible. I hope it lasts.

Ah, yes, that "hilarious" strip about the 1337-speaking dragon. From Planeswalker, another strip he started and abandoned.

He's not done with Scarlett. He still has to make her for the Flakes, the only people on earth who actually think he's good.

Edited by author 07-20-2005 03:38 AM
Don't forget the *two* Devart people who are so incapable of constructing a basic sentence that they think he's awesome, too.

I made a commenting noting the blatant C&H script ripoff. Davey seems to have taken it as a compliment. Oy 9_9
I wonder if using the last words ever spoken in C&H in Scarlet PI is an omen? Will Scar and Toni even reach the end of the alley? Or will the lure of his cosplay fetish vehicle "Lost Boy Found" prevail?
Tune in next week....

Bill! I done spotted Killsy helping cheer people up!
I hang out on the Something Awful boards, and some guy posts a thread about how he lost his best friend to a beating by Chavs (British thugs). He asked for pictures of kittens to help ease the pain. Someone posted the famous pic of kitten Killsy :)
It's about a third of the way down the page

Hahaha! I used to love Cool World as a little kid. Yeah, it makes no sense, but in a wonderful way. "If you have sex with a doodle, the doodle becomes human! If a doodle kills a human, the human becomes a doodle!" Bwahaha! What the fuck?!

It doesn't surprise me in the least that Killsy is out there making the world a better place.

Someone posted the famous pic of kitten Killsy

That's famous?! I realize the pic was on my old front page forever, but I didn't think it was famous!

It doesn't surprise me in the least that Killsy is out there making the world a better place.

I agree--that doesn't surprize me. If there ever was a cat made out of pure love, it's my honey. If she understood that there's a big world out there, easing other's pain is what she'd want to do.

Man, I don't check in for a little while, and I miss all kindsa stuff! (Extra points to anyone who gets the truly arcane--albeit unintended--tv reference.)

Ernst--I knew I'd probably gotten wrong whatever actual temp you cited (now there's a nice sentence para nuestro ESL-amigo favorito to parse!); my greatest condolences to you re: the present humidity, as I can't stand it either. Clichéd as it is, the fact remains that the West Coast heat IS at least a dry heat...not that it matters much to the 18+ poor souls in Phoenix who have already died from it this week.

And least when I was in Sydney--for only for a week, eleven years ago--the air quality was fine, though I've always been a sucker for coastal climates (one of a billion reasons for relocating to Vancouver...in addition to them there progressive politics y'all gots. Way to go on the gay marriage thing, bro! This honorary Canadian was never prouder of said status; wow, all this and the hockey strike--erm, work stoppage--is over too?! My Maple-Leaf-emblem mug runneth over!).

Amanda--I'd wondered if that was a BNL shout-out, actually. :)

La Kiru--I *loved* the stuff-on-cats site, thanx! Especially the lil' one reprazentin, at which I howled. Classic!

Bill--thank you SO much for the Spamalot review, especially all the way-kewl details! Even including how NYC smells. (I've always heard that it does, but it's nice to get some specifics--now, can anyone tell me what the stench in Venice is truly like?) And you really ended up with black snot just from walking around outdoors? The only time I've ever experienced that was after about a week of constant daily trips on the tube in London (before recent events, of course. I'm SO glad that at least no-one was hurt in today's events).

Comme toujours, I loves me some new kitty pics, and perhaps can offer an explanation for Byron's Grail drawer search; clearly ma belle Sophie had just been sending him transcontinental psychic suggestions, as her favorite game for a while now--apart from staying quiet, then continuously crying for pets the instant Mommy sits down here at the Klacky Thing--has been along the same lines...

See, I have a vintage Barbie™ rabbit fur stole that Sophie is obsessed with, and initially--because it's semi-rare/valuable (I'd paid around $25 for it at a convention--hell, it's older than I am)--I kept trying to hide it from her, at last settling on a drawer in the kitchen (just put it away with the other Barbie™ stuff? That's crazy talk!).

Unfortunately, this drawer is also where I keep my meds, so it gets opened fairly often, and she soon realized that was the location of her Grail--which is why every time I open that drawer now, I hear her one particular squeak that's *so* clearly the feline equivalent of, "AHA!! and she'll leap up on the counter to get at it. Lately I've been leaving the drawer open just a smidge to tease her, but she invariably manages to ferret it out, one time even squeezing herself almost entirely into the drawer (which is maybe four inches deep and *very* crowded with large prescription bottles).

Then, as always, she trots off with it in her mouth, an unmistakable, "Yep, killed that sucka!" look on her face. The term "stole" was never more appropriate. :)

Speaking of kittens, I managed to upload my unthrilling account of my vacation in South Carolina. The best part, of course, are the kittens.

I would have posted more pics, except that most of them turned out blurry.

Enjoy the kittenness!

thank you SO much for the Spamalot review, especially all the way-kewl details!

One I left out was based on a throwaway line from Grail:
GALAHAD: You're gay!
LANCELOT: (pause)...No I'm not!

In the musical, Lancelot IS gay. Or, as the song says, "He's G--A--Y--MCA!" in a silly--but FAAABulous!--dance routine.

At the end, he and Herbert from Swamp Castle marry, and Lancelot says, "The funny thing is--in a thousand years, this will still be controversial!"

I sat down and forced myself to write this, because I knew if it didn't get done tonight, it would probably not get done ever.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2478752/6/

Must...see...Spamalot. Or at least buy the soundtrack. Eh, I'm sure it will come to Atlanta eventually.

If Spamalot comes to Atlanta, I will see it. I will see the hell out of it. 'Cos Atlanta is where I live.

I wanted to wait until the bill had royal assent, but now that that's out of the way-- WHEEE! I can marry any human I damn well like (allowing for genetics)! You'll all be happy to know that our right-most political party promise a review of the legislation once they get in power... although talk like that does make them look a little TOO right wing, pushing back the day.

There are also many cranky "family rights" groups promising hellfire for all involved. Oddly, they all seem affiliated with if not headquatered at midwest US religion looney groups.

Man, them thar S.C. kittens look a lot like our Miranda must have when she was a wee one.

Negs:
Maybe you already know, but King Arthur was played by Tim Curry. He was in some cult movie a few years back.

Tickets were a mere $100, not counting the $28 for Amtrak, but I'd go again!

Edited by author 07-22-2005 11:08 PM
New Scarlett

Well...he's certainly done far worse. Pretty good for him, really, except for the shading on her legs (foxes wrear pantyhose?) and the fact that there's no way Goodlow would fit inside her. Maybe she digested him.

In fact, it's TOO good for him, so I assume he traced someone else's art.

Nah... you can't fake those kneeless legs and iron feet.

I think it's because it's actually INKED, that it stands out. There's no godawful pencil strokes to see ;)

Ah, but all we have to do is wait for his STERLING Gimp colouring skills to kick in and we can go back to mocking it :)

Edited by author 07-24-2005 10:07 AM
Ah, but all we have to do is wait for his STERLING Gimp colouring skills to kick in...

Is that 'Gimp' as in some actual technical reference that artists will get, or as in Pulp Fiction's, "Where's the Gimp?"-- "He's in his box."? Your statement's true, either way, but it makes a difference where the irony tone of voice emphasis falls. Enquiring Bittermans want to know!

GNU Image Manipulation Program, I know you wanted the guy in the rubber mask Ernst!

From Mimi's comments on her own drawing:
"No, I'm not sticking this under a 'mature content' tag because if you're going to get hot and bothered about a sea nymph's nipples, you need to get out more"

Was that comment aimed at another "artist" who slaps MC tags on "naked" fox fuckbots? ;D

Nah... you can't fake those kneeless legs and iron feet.


To clarify, I meant Scarlett, and for exactly those reasons. Look at her feet! They look like feet, instead of hams!

Davey's first paid commission!

http://www.deviantart.com/view/20863108/

AAAUUGHHH!!!!
NICE ART on the chinless dude! His hair's a big scribble! And for the last fucking time, IT'S CALLED ART GUM YOU DON'T NEED TO LEAVE PENCIL MARKS ALL OVER ANYTHING!!

Hey, wait, Fantastical Bestiary?? I've exchanged links and emails with that guy. Does Davey not realize that he has (or had, I didn't check) a page about how bad Davey is?

Yes, he got a commission. From someone who obviously did it as a joke. And he got some art that's a joke, too.

Scarlet Chapter 2 has started. It makes no goddamn sense to me. Could someone please explain WTF is going on!

Edited by author 07-24-2005 12:44 AM
Could someone please explain WTF is going on!

She's deciding which bathroom she should piss in.

PLEASE REREAD LAST SENTENCE REPEATEDLY.

Has DVK switched his meds again?

edit:
Oh, wait, I think she's only growing a penis!
(pause)
AAAAAAUUUUGGHHH!!!1

BillWas that comment aimed at another "artist" who slaps MC tags on "naked" fox fuckbots? ;D

*cheesily innocent grin*
The sad part is that the jab was probably lost on him.

back to the white-hot glacier that is Scarlet PI:
Oh joy, david is jumped straight to the 'ALL this has happened, so I don't have to draw it'
Does Davey meant to tell us that while Scarlet has been out garnering fame and fortune over the last 3 weeks, she hasn't had to use the bathroom ONCE??

re. the OMGPAID! commission.
Bill, you know we demand linkage for Mike Rosen's Bad Davey page...

SOMEBODY has their enthusiasm-emulator set very high indeed:

Wow, Davey, you are on FIRE, dude :)
Scarlet hits the ground running!

He'll never notice the irony.

In other news-- it's good to see the US Army still has some standards, even with the spectre of conscription hovering nearby.

(hey, look! No really embarrassing syntax errors today!)

we demand linkage for Mike Rosen's Bad Davey page...

I believe that it was just a page of links to rilly bad comics, such as Commuter Barnacle's NiTRO mysting and some weirdo's look at a Green Beret comic book. Doesn't matter anyway, as I can't find it.

Girl: Do you know if Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will have a Scientology themed wedding?...I wonder what that would be like?
Guy: You probably kneel down on the altar after the vows, suck L. Ron Hubbard's cock, and then pay him for it.

From this site: http://www.overheardinnewyork.com/archives/002069.html

Ernst: Wow, Davey, you are on FIRE, dude :)
Scarlet hits the ground running!

He'll never notice the irony.

Nor the sarcasm ;)
It's just a red herring so he doesn't notice that just about EVERYTHING I would EVER have to say about his stuff is critical.
And no, I won't be joining his 'Lost Boy Found' development board. Have you noticed that his reply to just about every compliment/comment he receives is 'Thanks, feel free to talk about my stuff some more!'? Like anyone who pays the SLIGHTEST attention to him MUST be a fan and not someone just being polite and thanking him for faving their work.

Oh, by the by, I read Half Blood Prince this weekend. I don't know why people were bothering with preorders. I walked into the grocery store and there was a big ole stand of em, with a 40% discount, no less, and a little tub of dry ice to simulate magic mist. Classy!

I think it's the best one yet.

Oh, what a day I've had. Just have a butcher's at what I am having to go to bed safe in the knowledge of tonight.

Disneytoons Sydney, my studio, is going to be closed within a year. yes, the powers that be in Burbank have decided that despite our excellent work, we are too expensive and our direct-to-DVD sequels don't make enough money to warrant our further existence. So after we finish Cinderella 3, that's it. Finito. All gone. Needless to say, I've done a lot of drinking today.
Oh, but in GOOD news </sarcasm>, Davey has sent me a formal invitation to join his Lost Boy Found Special Development Forum on Devart. What say, fellow Phrack Whores, should I say yes?

Rargh, need something debilitatingly alcoholic to blot out the impending unemployment and death of a great legacy, anyone got ideas?

Edited by author 07-25-2005 09:19 AM
Grim news, Mimi. On the alcohol front, why not try a Haitian? It's like a Black Russian, but using dark rum rather then vodka. Sweet AND oblivion. If beer's the thing, remember that the belgian ales can be up to triple the amount of alcohol of standard lagers. For the straight road to surliness, you can't beat English gin. The most utility can be had from a bottle of overproof rum with a burning rag down the neck, dashed on the boardroom table at Disney Master Control-- nothing says "disgruntled" like a conflagration.

I imagine we can expect Cinderella 3 to be riddled with the sort of pornographic easter eggs the loonies have been insisting are in all Disney products?

Mimi - oh, crud, I am sorry about the studio closing. I wish that they would put you guys to work on other projects rather than shutting down the studio. :(

I imagine we can expect Cinderella 3 to be riddled with the sort of pornographic easter eggs the loonies have been insisting are in all Disney products?
That, Ernst, is a fucking brilliant idea. I'll have to put that around tomorrow at work.

Negs: Unfortunately, there AREN'T now any further projects to do. They cancelled all the stuff that we had lined up that would have seen us through to at least 2007. While this MAY be a good thing in that the world will now be safe from BRILLIANT ideas like Aristocats 2 and Mermaid 3, we are unfortunately too expensive for tv stuff and our bosses don't have any further ideas good enough to put us to work.

Aristocats and Little Mermaid sequels, yet they don't make a Darkwing Duck movietoon. Blah, I guess we'll have to wait until 2011 before the nostalgia wave comes around to that... and then we'll probably get some crapola live-action/CGI mess.

Mimi, I'm sorry. Losing any job sucks, but losing one like that is far worse.

To cheer you up, here's the lead Flake on Davey.

HEY GUYS! GUESS WHAT, WAT WAT!... *Looks at everyone looking grim, reads Mimi's post*

Oh wait... Dang but isn't that terrible. still, there are worse things that being unemployed! like working for Wal*Mart, yes? I'm sure everything will be better soon, but here's some good luck wishes.

*kicks away a nearby PDA...*

Davey has sent me a formal invitation to join his Lost Boy Found Special Development Forum

Go for it! We can all funnel him ideas that would be very, very BAD!
Wait...Davey's idea of what's "GOOD" is BAD...Maybe we should suggest GOOD ideas, so he comes up with something WORSE...
(head explodes)

(sweeps up cranial debris, pours it back in skull)
Maybe if we gave him bad ideas he'd be predisposed to think were good? Like, I dunno, his sTinkerbell can turn into a foxbot, Hook is anti-Bush/pro-Michael Moore, Adam can turn into a giant robotic Uncle Walt at will, and everyone who speaks uses a different undecipherable accent in an unreadable font (wait, he'll do that anyway).

*Sympathy for Mimi*

In other news, Canto 7 is up: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2478752/7/
There will be no sequels.

Well, I said yes to davey's invite.
Oh god, it's just me, Davey and Marcie! haaaaaalp! O_o
There appear to be two others who are still unconfirmed. I'm guessing one is the girl who drew the *competent* Scarlet fanart and the other is the guy whom he just did the commission for.
I actually got a PM from Davey on Devart:
I've taken Marcie's (and yours) suggestion to heart in the revision of the pages I've worked on in Lost Boy Found. I don't know if you're still interested in the story or whatever or not you want to toss me any feedback on it. I'd like to do it using E-Mail if that's possible.
Warms the cockles, doesn't it 9_9 All I said was I liked Marcie's idea, now he won't go away!!
I replied saying politely that I was too busy to actively work on LBF and I'm just an observer. Gah... Davey messages in inbox, must decontaminate!

Anyway, the group doesn't have much in it so far.. just reposting of his latest LBF draft and links to the sketches on the Foxfire Wiki. From his intro message:
This group serves two purposes, one, to provide a single place to put in all the notes I have made or found online not to mention saving some of them from my hard drive, and two, to have a quiet place for others interested in the story to discuss story ideas, critique any ideas I may pop in here, keep me honest and not go too overboard as I write--and I know I'm prone to do that--and the required and above-mentioned group hunt for those Radio Edit typos.

Anyway, welcome aboard, and I hope this group actually gets some action in it.
*snigger* The tumbleweeds are making their way over from the foxfire board as he speaks ;)
And he's still banging on about EBIL COPYRITE LAW with his Creative commons license. I took him a few pegs down on THAT, hopefully...

Somebody might've posted this before, but OMG, best Jesus EVER!

Roffle!
I loved one of the comments:
"Thou I walk through the valley of Rob, I shall fear no Liefeld"

Davey:
"I won't care about how much money I'll be getting out of any of my projects as long as I actually get any, and I don't want to sue out of a pindrop if I see someone make their own FoxFire pic. If I have a choice between $500K with my CC Licence and $1M with regular copyright law and the numberous lawsuits involved, I'll be taking the $500K."

God, but I hope he's speaking hypothetically, and not thinking that someday he'll become a millionaire from freakin' Scarlett. It'd be enough to make you think he had a huge ego!

"Think I'm a target to Fangirls? It's your pencil that's frying, and I don't have to look, do I?"

WTF did THAT mean?

Bill:"Think I'm a target to Fangirls? It's your pencil that's frying, and I don't have to look, do I?"

WTF did THAT mean?
I was rather hoping someone would tell me, too O_o
I would ask, but he's starting to be a leech and I don't want to encourage him. He EMAILED me today, basically saying 'hey, thanks for joining my board, I hope you don't mind helping me with my novel'. If he emails me unsolicited again, I'm blocking him.
I TOLD him I wasn't going to be an active helper, just a watcher. ARGH! The suffering I endure for Team Phrack Whore /_\

It's always that way for the intelligence-gatherers, Mimi.

Using "intelligence" in the loosest of senses, of course. Seems somebody thinks there's going to be a lot of love offerings from the legions of fans on the internet. Remember how well Stephen King's "Here's a new novel, online and unencrypted-- send me a few bucks when you've had a look" went? King's not Milton, but there's something in the line of talent to his work.

Man, Mimi, that sucks. Yet another traditional animation studio goes down. We needs us a revolution.

Have you figured out what you're going to do? I wish I could help out and give advice, but I know next to nothing about artistic jobs. Although, I will ask you not to drink yourself into oblivion.

On the side, I've got a question to all the artists here: what do you do when you discover a, uh, fan of yours in DeviantArt is someone who used to copy your artwork in the past? (I suspect she's already copied an old fanart piece of mine, but has given me credit for it. *boggle*)

After a crazy dream that involved Toy Story, i gave more thought to Mimi's unfortunate circumstances, and methinks if these sequels fail to sell, i put Disney's own distribution and pubilicity to blame. at least here you never heard of them, and if i'm not suprised to hear about them is because i keep finding THoND II in the DVD bargain bins i like to browse. so more props to mimi.

Aside from that, man, what's there to look for in Cinderella III? i know sequels are supposed to expand on the originals and stuff, but maybe insane new storylines would've helped. (not that Disney would want to change the slightest bit of their characters) anyway, It'd be rad to see Cinderella befriend the evil witch in her Dragon form, only to have a group of ninjas whose leader wants the dragon's bones to grind them and drink them in his tea find them. so cinderella has to hop on the dragon's back, and unleash hell around the forest as they fly around, to find a huge airship that starts firing missiles at them.

/not high on something, really.

Aside from that, man, what's there to look for in Cinderella III? i know sequels are supposed to expand on the originals and stuff, but maybe insane new storylines would've helped. (not that Disney would want to change the slightest bit of their characters) anyway, It'd be rad to see Cinderella befriend the evil witch in her Dragon form, only to have a group of ninjas whose leader wants the dragon's bones to grind them and drink them in his tea find them. so cinderella has to hop on the dragon's back, and unleash hell around the forest as they fly around, to find a huge airship that starts firing missiles at them.

Wow, that'd be an awesome sequel! Disney really needs more ninjas.

My condolences about your studio, Mimi. Traditional animation has really gotten shafted lately. If I see one more crappy 3D kids movie, I'm gonna scream. Is anyone still doing traditional animation these days? Seems like it's been forever since I've seen an animated feature film that wasn't Japanese.

If I see one more crappy 3D kids movie, I'm gonna scream.

Haha, Don't come to Mexico. the first 3D movie made by Perú is about to hit. somehow they had to have the people from the local equivalent of 'american idol' do the soundtrack/videos, so that should give you an idea of the budget.

Edited by author 07-28-2005 12:00 AM
RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/21032452/
FOXFIRE'S A GIANT ROTTEN TOMATO! And she's GONNA BLOW!!!!

(Yeah, like she didn't blow before this)

"It cranks all the knobs!" sez Davey (or at least his), and it's like Disney had an Adult Swim. That sucked to 11.
Ooh, Davey's counting his $500K right now!

edit:
"(They might filter out a sex scene and tone down the violence, but that's understandable)"

That scene of what and tone down the what? There's only been offscreen sex, and NO ACTION, violent or otherwise, for how many months the strip's meandered on?

Davey also has either THE most retarded commenters, or the most sarcastic. I go with the former.

Mimi:
Umm, the only other woman he has regular contact with, besides his mom and Marcie, is now you. And you're no blob-like Marcie, if you catch my drift. Sorry about suggesting you join his league of freaks--Block his email before he starts suggesting Marcie-like "role-plays" with you...

Edited by author 07-28-2005 05:11 AM
Bill:That scene of what and tone down the what? There's only been offscreen sex, and NO ACTION, violent or otherwise, for how many months the strip's meandered on?
His comics consist entirely of things NOT going on, but being talked about instead.

Davey also has either THE most retarded commenters, or the most sarcastic. I go with the former.
Me too. Devart's full of retarded teens.
I'm actually quite amazed he hasn't commented on the fact that I actually DO work for Disney. Until the closure announcement, I kept that pretty quiet. Given that most of his favourite hangouts are Disney-related, I'm amazed he's not sending me his underwear yet. Not DISAAPPOINTED, note ;p
And like I said, he emails me again, he's getting blocked. Mailwasher shows up everything and just tags the spam. Even if I block Davey, I'll still get to glance at anything he might send. If it's good, I'll of course cut n paste for your entertainment ;)

Mimi:
In honor of Disney kicking another chunk of their staff into the unemployment line, here's a possible concept for a Snow White sequel.

Bill:
"Set to go Nova?" You mean explode messily? Or no va, en Espanol, which is already a good description of his current comics?

Quote of the Day:

"I'm not racist...BUT...we all know how funny looking green people are. Mainly because they're a product of the union of blue and yellow. I don't want to go starting a flame war, but blue and yellow, to me, is just unnatural. If god intended blue to layeth with yellow, he would have made them more coordinated."

-Someone named Rivereyes

CAT PICS: http://www.livejournal.com/users/zarla/134282.html

This is someone I wrote a dirty fic for. I make friends in odd ways.

{{Belated consoling hugs to Mimi}} Unless she's averse to that sorta thing...sorry, we NoCal'ers are a touchy, feely lot. I'll try now not to come over all Mom-ish re: the ethanol consumption, since if ever there was a reason to drink, you've got one.

Though speaking of--well, the main reason I used to drink, anyway--I'm really sad at no longer being the only one in this gang who's actively engaged in the ego- and soul-destroying experience of seeking employment; given how sick *I* am of hearing this, I WON'T go on to tell you how much someone of your obvious intelligence and abilities should have no trouble finding work.

(Though considering Sydney's size relative to Modesto, there should at least be more opportunities there, but in your chosen field, with the studio closing...?!) Yikes. :(

Now I'm remembering why I don't write a lot in my LJ about the ongoing job/lack thereof stuff. It's depressing as heck. To our young friend who was lucky to earn $8 a DAY at one point, I must ask:

the people from the local equivalent of 'american idol'

I'm confused--so are they from "Peruvian Idol"? Or are you referring to our own beloved Academicians? From one particular generación, or a mix of our faves? (PS: thought of you the other day when I saw something re: the current tour, and I yelled at the tv: "Hey, Edgar, stop that! You're sweating all over poor Yuri!" :)

Lastly--cos if this was brief, you'd know it was written by my evil twin--I sent a bunch o' InExOb links to my sister, Bill, and in the course of reviewing them made the following notes...

5+ yrs. later, I still want to Seriously Harm the less-than-Groovygirl. Even *if* her existence is in and of itself punishment enough.
 
Hey, wow! A Special Guest Appearances by the Infant Kills in Week 73 (awwwhh!), Fashion Modeling in Week 109 and then an even briefer guest-shot in Week 98 (hey, all her little paws match! So do Beez's--all a uniform beigey pink--but not so with ma belle Sophie, who's Miss Patchwork Paws--some pink, some black...hmmm, anything else? "C'mere, kid, what other colors you got?" Smart girl, runs away quickly...)
 
To yet further prove Me Geek You Long Time, re: Week 99 and "O.P.P."--my friend Deb actually had to explain to me what that song was about. I was pretty sure it wasn't about the Ontario Provincial Police, but that was the only association I had with that phrase...until the InExOb, anyway. Which is of course preferable to the song.
 
Still, your line, "Fork me like an animal" makes me laugh every single time, and the overall extreme InExOb hilarity is enough to incite one seriously swanky Toast Party. (You're right, we gotta get dat woid back inna circulation.) We await the forthcoming Plague of Sparkly Rain with gay abandon!

/not on anything different than usual (though Oxycontin makes your co-workers drool, Bill? It just makes me hyper, like all opiates. Apologies, once again, for such bastards giving all smackheads a bad name...)

Anybody mind if I share a SHAWT? Anybody? Ok, here goes.

I've been working at part time at the convenient store up the street. Tonight a woman walked in and leaned over the counter to peer at our meager selection of drugs. She kind of muttered to herself and asked, "You all don't have any thingamajigs, do you?"

No, no we don't. Apparently she was looking for Dayquil, though I think she'd had enough drugs by that point. Then she wandered over to the candy, talking to herself the entire time, and picked out some Blow Pops for her dog. And she had to put one back and get another one because the wrapper had a hole in it. She babbled at me the entire time, and then shoved one of the suckers in my face and asked me if I thought there was a hole in that one too.

Then, on her way to pick out a new Blow Pop, some guy and his little kid came in. Crazy Lady asked the little boy if he wanted a sucker and then had him pick one out, without asking the kid's dad. And then she walked out and didn't pay for it. I'm still not sure if that was the one she was traded in or not. The kid's dad payed for it, so as far as he knew, some Crazy Lady just told his kid he could have candy. She left, thank goodness, but she was babbling the entire time she was there. I guess that's not too crazy, but it was certainly annoying.

Hokay, gotta take my mind off soul-crushing depression... ah, someone perpetually worse-off than me - Fresh Gonterman!
New Scarlet PI

... I am lost after the very first sentence. I swear I have read the page about 3 times and can barely understand a word...
And the bastard has reached 10 000 page hits before me. ARGH!

What is it with right wing dimwits and their obsessive belief that liberals want the UN to rule the world?

Two fronts-- one, the need for SOMEONE to be the opposing "Evil Empire" and thus give them something to push against; two, the unconscious understanding that some kind of super-national authority is needed to push the nations into smartening the hell up. The UN isn't really the right thing, tho'-- we need some sort of Arthur Clarkeish Overlords with infallible logic and compassion.

And the bastard has reached 10 000 page hits before me. ARGH!

And people will look longer and harder at a traffic accident, too. "Did I just see what I saw? Maybe I missed the part that made sense...."

...like that just now. So, several months of getting the costume on, and it's not true? Or is it a lame cover story to keep the world from finding out the truth about J.Goodlow being a big idiot and believing anything a talking fox-suit tells him?

Davey: Look, when I'm making sense, I'll do this *makes insane gesture*, just to show I AM making sense, so you won't go nipping out the kitchen, preparing cups of tea.. and when I'm NOT making sense, I'll draw it, how's that?


/Python freak

Secret Agent Chan: http://www.voiceacting.co.uk/hosted/hc_sac.mp3

Impossible not to think of the gang here, though I protest the writer's ultimately anti-feline bias (hey, I like dogs too, dammit!):

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/07/30/arts/30cats.html?

"What is it with right wing dimwits and their obsessive belief that liberals want the UN to rule the world? Has any liberal ever said that?"

Might be stating the obvious here, but the thing people hate about the UN is that it gives other countries besides the US a say in running the world.

Hey, what was that Hsu & Chan thing? Okay, it's this, so maybe the question is why is it? There's no link to it on the Evil Monkey page.

Scarlett:

Yes, very confusing. Although finally there's some ACTION! Crazy, two-fisted hand drying ACTION!
Otherwise, Davey continues his "don't draw it, draw people talking about it" dynamic style. "...especially with it's more extreme factions which involve activities that will get me banned if I depict them here." Dude, you don't depict ANYTHING.

And why is Scarlett lying? Is this another thing Davey forgot to tell the reader?

What is the "good question" the woman asked? I don't see any question. My good question is, if Jim was going to completely disappear, why was he introduced in the first place? Wouldn't it be more interesting to have Scarlett show up to Toni with someone already in there, thus giving a chance for a backstory to unfold? I assume that the answer is "He's making it up as he goes along--AGAIN."

For those of you who don't have a NY Times password for that article Lilly mentioned, here's the highlight from it.

I don't have time. snuck on someone else'c comp to upload this

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v200/Zef...otoshops/smokes.gif

 see that. now. i risked a lot to bring it to you. lest we forget.

Edited by author 07-31-2005 01:37 AM
Zef:

WE DON'T SPEAK OF THAT! NO MORE.

(begins softly crying...Oh, what could have been, what Team Phrack Whore could've been...)

The internet holds no secrets, Bill. Zef does as he does, and we must let it happen.

Of course, there's some actual sense of perspective and background, so it's not completely authentic.

If you're confused about the Hsu and Chan recording, go here to get even more confused:
http://www.spookingtons.com/

Bill said:
(begins softly crying...Oh, what could have been, what Team Phrack Whore could've been...)

Um, are we not doing that anymore? I was still planning on drawing my pages, especially now that I'm out of school and actually have time.

Um, are we not doing that anymore?

I'm still up for it, but Zef's contribution is the only one I've seen since last spring...

So, Team, anyone else still on board?

It's still funny, Bill, but I'll stay out.
I'm too busy doing concept art for 'Popstar'(for Tokyopop), working and developing a new comic as well as honing my Flash animation skills.
Gathering Gonter-intelligence takes up quite enough of my time as it is, he deserves no more from me ;p

Davey is so almost in Wikipedia:

"After joining Keenspot, Chris [Wright] began calling himself "The Internet's Most Dangerous Cartoonist." This is a title also claimed by David Gonterman. At present, neither cartoonist feels inclined to resolve this apparently conflicting claim."

This Wright is WRONG! Davey was claiming that title for YEARS before this upstart!

There is no Wiki entry for Gonty. I would've thought that he'd've submitted one of his own.

Even more bizarrely, there is no entry for "Clinton jobs." Some internet resource THIS phracking thing is!

The project's still being talked about?

I've lost the original page I was working on... but I can draw a new one. I've been on a drawing binge lately, so I might get to finish my part.

Edited by author 08-01-2005 10:24 PM
The project's still being talked about?

"It moves, it stirs, it seems to feel
The thrill of life along its keel!"

(Sorry, but I've been waiting all my life to use that phrase!)

((edit: Before anyone asks, I just checked, and it's PG Wodehouse. Via either MAD magazine or Bullwinkle or someone other childhood source. Not sure, really))

The thing about finding books online is, sometimes they're not the actual thing, but some huge fic someone was deranged enough to write and post online.

So, whileas Mrs Rowling isn't getting any richer, could some kind soul who has already read the half blood prince post a bit of the index? it seemed awfully short to me, so i'm afraid i've only read a huge fic... again

Zef: Eh? The index? You mean the table of contents?

that's right, to cross compare.

The TOC for HBP is thus:

1 the other minister
2 spinner's end
3 will and won't
4 horace slughorn
5 excess of phlegm
6 draco's detour
7 slug club
8 snape victorious
9 half blood prince
10 house of gaunt
11 hermione's helping hand
12 silver and opals
13 secret riddle
14 felix felicis
15 unbreakable vow
16 very frosty christmas
17 sliggish memory
18 birthday surprises
19 elf tails
20 lord voldemort's request
21 unknowable room
22 after the burial
23 horcruxes
24 sectumspectra
25 seer overheard
26 cave
27 lightning-struck tower
28 flight of the prince
29 pheonix lament
30 white tomb

dang, you didn't had to write the full chapter list, a few were enough. but thankies! i did read the book.

i thought the fact that the ending closely resembled that of the first spiderman movie was the give away that i had read a fanfic again, but no. huh. shows what you know.

Speaking of teaching creationism in schools, Jin Wicked had this to say, er, draw.

Zef -- The handling of certain plot points and the Spiderman bit had me thinking I was reading a fanfiction, too, despite the fact that I had the official hardbound straight from Amazon.com....

When i got Prey off amazon.com, a lot of pages were bound together, making it unreadable. i had to spend a lot of time cutting them, so I've gone the way of the Ebook ever since.


/yes, i know i'm the only one who likes Crichton here.

DVK's got a sketch dump over at DA. I mean that literally, it's a huge steaming pile of art. I think that this one is my favorite. It's got all the classic elements--bad spelling, useless pop culture references, and the GonterEgo. Plus Adam is clearly jerking off.

Let's go to the dump! Try not to notice the smell.

Pic 1:
Zippy the Pinhead: "Robo-Dolly Conserving Batteries Expression! Robo-Dolly Conserving Batteries Expression! Robo-Dolly Conserving Batteries Expression!!!"

I always wondered where Davey got the name "Roll" from. I guess I should've just assumed plagiarism.

Davey is a ">cough<" "voracious reader." Riiight. That's from where his inherent sense of grammatic construction came. Davey reads frigging Magic:TG novelizations, and I'd REALLY like to see evidence that he's ever read anything else "voraciously." It clearly ain't there in his writing.

Pic 2:
"That could be how I market this story"
...or you could stand in a cardboard box on a street corner and scream it at passing cars. That'd prly work just as well.
So--he's back to not hating corporations, and back to fantasizing about selling his dreck to them again.

"Check this out--Wild West cowboy Pan/Adam."
Check this out--the Village People reunion tour has a new member. And he makes the rest of them look straight.

On the art: What the HELL is coming out of Pan/Adam/Crayola-colored dork's back, and then running out his ass? Seriously. And why is he in Egypt? Since Davey thinks that Native Americans have Tolkien elf names, maybe he thinks they built the Sphinx, too.

Pic 3:
"Adam's buisness casual": Unsurprisingly, Adam works at Wal-Mart.

"Since Adam is my "Mary Sue" character"
YOU have ONE Mary Sue?
Since when? You could write a strip about a fucking AMOEBA and it'd be from St Louis and fuck a girl amoeba with fox ears.

Read the whole of his comments for some nice Gonterego, as well as a few insights into his private life.

Pic 4:
Zippy the Pinhead: "The Rooster Crow of Packey Boy! The Rooster Crow of Packey Boy! The Rooster Crow of Packey Boy!!"

As you can see in the last sketch, his other forgotten ability is his power to make his nose grow and his chin shrink.

Pic 5:
It's pivotable! And it's SO gay, the Village People threw him out of the group.

Peter immediately promotes Davey to his "equal," although I'm sure that he'll spend his time praising Davey Pan for his wonderfulness. Mayhap there will be a scene where Peter looks at some hideous, ham-footed chicken scratch drawings and says "As if! Your a better artist than most Japanese profesionalls I could named!"

Before Davey "markets" this, he should remember that for most people today, the idea of "an eternally youthful man-child who likes to play dress-up with little boys, and also exchange bodily fluids with them in Neverland" immediately conjures up somebody other than Peter Pan...especially after the implication that his pubic went bye-bye.

In conclusion:
I need a drink! And, if you read all his comments very carefully, there's this bombshell:

He spells it "wear" for once!!

Plus Adam is clearly jerking off.

Are you referring to the hand motion in the first pic, or the fact that he's enthusiastically humping a pool table in pic 2?

Are you referring to the hand motion in the first pic, or the fact that he's enthusiastically humping a pool table in pic 2?

I was referring to his hand in the first pic. The second one is just as good though, especially since his v-shaped crotch actually overlaps the edge of the table.

By the way, your comments on the pictures are hilarious! It almost makes the G-man tolerable.

*stumbles in from maison Daveykins Devart*
Man, I'm SPENT!
And Bill, I'm sorry to say he did indeed misspell 'wear' AGAIN in the 'Walmart outfit' pic. I called him on it, too.
I think I speak for us all.
Rabbit:By the way, your comments on the pictures are hilarious! It almost makes the G-man tolerable.
I roundly second that. Why do you think I rush straight here when he updates? I wanna hear what Bill has to quip :)

I cracked up when he ADMITTED to Crayola usage and haven't stopped cackling since.

Pic 1 - Damn, Bill beat me to Davey's 'voracious' reading. I commented that he seems to have something against Harry Potter. This is like the second time he's taken a snark at Potterdom. I commented, asking why. Maybe it's just cuz Harry's popular and Davey's liek OMG SUCH a REBBEL!!

Pic 2 - Hee. I'm tempted to comment echoing Bill's comment that Davey talks of marketing. But surely, his great story is FREE FOR ALL, yes? Isn't that what that honking big annoying Creative Commons license basically says?
And I have no idea what's coming out of Adam's arse either. Unless it's connected to the thing emerging from his shoulder. And I think the Pyramid and other background shapes are supposed to be Vegas landmarks. Shall I ask? >:)
Heh. I just thought of the idea vehicle for Davey. Reno 911, being beaten comically and ruthlessly by the cops :)

Pic 3 - I think if people are seriously giving Davey WTF? expressions, it's not because he's just done something edgy and cool. It's probably that he just said something hideously innappropriate.

Pic 5 - the splooge hits the page. The sad thing is, there probably IS a market for this kind of story. Not that it could be done without breaching some beloved copyrights, but I'm sure there are some sweaty, preferably anonymous middle-aged men online who would enjoy this very very much.

Cheers! *raises bottle of Cooper's*

"Now, if I can get past the DDR Max Scene."

*choke

Davey's getting into DDR? He's defiling the purity and goodness of arrow-stomping by... whatever? Oh, dear lordy! He's gone TOO FAR!!!1!

(I just got an A in Tsugaru heavy myself. That's a 9-foot bastard of a song. My feet hurt.)

As for "wax pastels" - oh, please. Crayolas can be used well, but he's just scrubbing them on the paper like a 10-year-old. Prismacolors, now THAT'S the way to go! But you can't get a box of those at WalMart for $2.99.

Negs:Davey's getting into DDR?

...well THAT was an image I needed in my head...
*fighting dual urges to vomit or die with laughter*

Edited by author 08-04-2005 09:50 AM
One DVK minions journal entries, he's only 15 so I should cut him some slack, but;

"Ive been busy. Getting ready for scool is tugh work. i lothe school and despis it to. I ca'nt wait till I graduat. i'll be posting some new artwok soon. See you all then."

Umm, yeah. I think you should check out your 'h,e,a,o and c' keys, I think they might have a bit of davey love juice stuck under them!

And we cannot wait until you 'graduat' and become a fully blown member of society! Just think, you will be able to vote, procreate, drink and drive, won't that make the world a better place.

What is it with pick 3 from the Goterslop, he might be trying to hump the table, but in the top of the pic he has a vag (sorry to the ladies for being crude). WTF is going on there, is he some sort of mighty morphing power transexual?

F' IT, I think I might just go throw up in a bucket, toss in some paint, throw it at a piece of canvas and call it art. It seems to work for some!

Edit: Shit, you proof it twice and still find errors after posting. I need an editor :)

Negs:Davey's getting into DDR?

...well THAT was an image I needed in my head...
*fighting dual urges to vomit or die with laughter*

Why do I suspect his way of getting into it is sneaking peeks at the pre-teen DDR kids from the far side of the arcade while putting quarter after quarter into a game he's not actually playing, but sweats on an awful lot...?

WTF is going on there, is he some sort of mighty morphing power transexual?

Could just be the rare and painful male camel-toe, as showcased in the "Space Mutiny" episode of MST3K.

Bill: Zippy refs always makes with the smilin'. Remember when he ran for President? I mean the real Zippy, of course.

If he did play DDR, you just know he'd play "Butterfly" over and over because a) it's easy and b) the "samurai" the singer is looking for is obviously Davey-Kins himself.

Edited by author 08-04-2005 05:09 PM
Ninja Cats

Awesome! reminds me of THIS


/I mean, while we're on the subject of bad art.

Man, DDR still comes with Butterfly? that's one reason why i never got into DDR, most of the songs are just ear-shattering whiney. Pump! has more music variety. where else can you get funky wid' a dance version of vivaldi's 'Winter'?

O_o
Oooookay. Here's his explanation for why he takes jabs at Harry Potter:
It's not that it's popular, or that the books seem to get bigger and bigger with each successive book (Lay all the books down side by side, and you get Cingular bars. The final book could be as big as Webster's Unabridged.) but it's the mass marketing the series has gotten. When I see the book on the news, especially with the Midnight openings, Movie and Candy deals, and all that, it gives me the impression that the series is backed up--and may I say written--by a big corporation rather than someone who was once a single mother who needed Welfare to live. While that may get me interested when I was still in my teens, as a thirty something today, this just turns me away from Harry Potter. Could J.K. Rowling be the Metallica of the Literary world? It's very difficult for me to think otherwise.
Bottom line: He's never read the books. But if they're THIS famous to warrant the NEED for midnight openings and merchandising, JKR MUST be some corporate whore.
Yeesh 9_9. He probably thinks Bill Waterson is a SAINT among men, too.
(Sorry but the whole 'anything in the mass media is NOT ART!' attitude steams my bean)

As I think I'm the only person to regularly hurt his brain reading the Flakes, you might be unaware that there's a strip there entirely about DDR. Since its artist is the only one besides Davey who's progressed from stick figures, and they think Davey's a genius, it may be some kind of solidarity thing between the 2 resident Rembrandts.

I think you should check out your 'h,e,a,o and c' keys, I think they might have a bit of davey love juice stuck under them!

Steve, I expect to read nothing funnier than that all day!

or that the books seem to get bigger and bigger with each successive book (Lay all the books down side by side, and you get Cingular bars. The final book could be as big as Webster's Unabridged.)

I think he's more miffed for the fact that, if he wanted to start reading them, he'd have to read a dang LOT more than he's used to. I felt this last book was way short, was it really longer?

Edited by author 08-04-2005 10:10 PM
Man, DDR still comes with Butterfly? that's one reason why i never got into DDR, most of the songs are just ear-shattering whiney. Pump! has more music variety. where else can you get funky wid' a dance version of vivaldi's 'Winter'?

DDR has "V for Victory," which is a very good version of that very piece, in both the arcade and home versions. It's one of my favorite songs, in fact. It also has a lovely orchestrated version of Chopin's "Revolutionary Etude," A wacky J-Pop mauling of Beethoven's "Fur Elise," and also uses Offenbach's "Can-Can," Bach's "Ode to Joy," and other classical pieces. Any other questions?

However, my favorite song is a gallopy Captain Jack cover of "In The Navy."

I won't get into which is better; DDR is within my reach, and I have it at home, and I am good at it, so it's my favorite. Sadly, the only place I know of that has PIU is so fuckin' loud I can't hear the music! But it is fun to watch.

I tried DDR the last time I visited Portland. It looks like fun, but the problem is that I have a weight distribution problem in my legs and I just can't straddle the footpad properly. I can't strike very well with my left foot, so I didn't last long ;)
I kicked arse on the hand-sensor variation, I forget what it's called...

The music is fun to bop along to, I admit :)

And Zef - no, Half-Blood Prince wasn't as long or as thick as Order of the Phoenix. So Gont is wrong on that one.

Edited by author 08-05-2005 12:28 AM
Could J.K. Rowling be the Metallica of the Literary world?

Could Davey still be a disgruntled teen? Hating the popular kids like Rowling because they're popular, while secretly wanting to popular just like them?

Sure, lots of people feel that way. When they're 13-15 years old. I have to admit, there are times when I just feel bad for the guy. If he just cracked down, got a real job, and moved out of his old bedroom, he might get rid of all this 2 decade old emotional baggage that's bearing so heavily on his psyche.

edit:
Let me turn my Empathy Mode off for a bit:
the series is backed up--and may I say written--by a big corporation

Magic:TG books are, of course, hand-crafted by Native American Elves. Just like how "Kingdom Hearts" was made by Disney, the Tiniest Corporation on Earth.

Of course, YESTERDAY he was pondering how to market his ripped-off and derivative crap to those same conglomerates.

"rather than someone who was once a single mother who needed Welfare to live."

Face it--he's living in the same childhood bedroom, works 2 shifts a week at MickeyD's, begs for the $8 it takes for him to publish on DevArt...He's just jealous. Rowling's a millionaire now, and he's still a pauper. But HE'S a genius, so she's some capitalist plot. CLEARLY there can be no other explanation!

I've just decided:
If I ever form a rock band, it'll be named "Rooster Crow and the Packey Boys."

That's beautiful, Bill. I'd buy your first CD.

And you're right, Bill. The man IS emotionally only 15 years old. Oh, he may THINK he's matured, but he really has no idea how the world runs. He has the idealism of a teenager, when you think you can literally do anything and bucking the system is the pinnacle of achievement. But he simply has NOT acquired the astuteness (if that's a word) to balance what you CAN do with what you WANT to do. Most of us develop this into adulthood with few problems.
Metallica kicked up a fuss because of piracy of their music, which is a legitimate concern of someone whose living is made off it. Rowling is a classic rags-to-riches story. She had a great story to tell and she tells it well. She's not the greatest writer ever, to be sure, but her story is strong enough to create a worldwide insatiable demand. Anyone would be stupid not to cash in on that demand. Welcome to Business 101.

I think Lost Boy Found, copyright issues aside, is a nice IDEA for a story. His execution, however, combined with his naivete of the entertainment world in general, means it's never going to reach its full potential.

Night folks!

I think Lost Boy Found....it's never going to reach its full potential.

Well we may all find ourselves shocked one day when, whilst reaching for a few slabs of bog wipe, come across little pics of Mr Pacbell on the pieces of paper we are about to wipe our asses with.

Ahh, justice will be done!

...a few slabs of bog wipe,....

I gotta lay off the computer-- before the context snapped things into place, I was thinking "Whut th' hell is blog wipe?" Time for a big dumb SCA event, then. (Huzzah!)

Magic:TG books are, of course, hand-crafted by Native American Elves. Just like how "Kingdom Hearts" was made by Disney, the Tiniest Corporation on Earth.

It's all about the pixies. If you'll look at this flow chart [flip] you see that pixies occupy the top five positions in every major corporation except Microsoft (bog elf) and MarthStewCorp (harpie). Through liberal applications of pixie dust, most opponents of corporations are Confunded into believing at least one or two "are just different."

Yes, I am in the middle of the latest Potter. That is, by the way, a nugget of purest comedy, Bill.

Edited by author 08-05-2005 07:09 PM
However, my favorite song is a gallopy Captain Jack cover of "In The Navy."

Well, the first few iterations of DDR were all i could see here before PIU completely killed it off, and i never got a home version (am waiting for the Xbox PIU) so i stuck with the idea of its soundtrack being full of dance, against PIU's eclectic mix of Kpop, K death metal and dance. (plus aha's take on me) meh, they must've stolen the idea of funkifying all the classics from PIU X3 (Korsakov's The Flight of the Bumble Bee, Bach's Air, Said Vivaldi's Winter, Beethoven's Sonata Op.13 Pathetique, and a whole lot of Mozart are part of the mix)

/drops the subject

(from gont's answer to mimi about JKR)

Not at the other folk's adulation, but at the reality that I'm looked over.

Oh, man, i've felt this . EVERYONE! STOP LOOKING AT GOOD ART! LOOK AT ME FOR NO GOOD REASON!! MEE! HERE I AM!! MEEEEEEEEEEE!

Edited by author 08-05-2005 07:59 PM
Awwwwww, Zef, you beat me!
Is that reply gold or what??
So the answer is plain ol' Jealousy. I think Bill wins the free round of drinks!

I replied, bringing the level down a bit and hopefully ending any further public rants:
Envy is natural, David, it's okay to admit it. I envy the 19-yr-olds on Devart who can draw and paint stuff better than the pros. It happens to us all.
But those people who are famous didn't get there by staring at the wall. They probably worked just as hard, plus they have the pressure of keeping up a standard. Obsessive fans are picky creatures, and the public can be fickle. Fame is a very double-edged sword, always remember that.
I love how he likens himself to poor, stomped-upon Daffy. Daffy was a self-obsessed jerk, that's why he always lost out. Hm. Actually, that's pretty accurate!

Davey finally reveales the reason he keeps spelling it wrear.

It must be how close the 'e' key is to the 'w' key.

Yeah, and that's why you also spell twoard the way you do. You must have some funky monkey ass keyboard layout there Davey!

I wrote a little poem, The Ballad of Gerard: http://www.fictionpress.com/~moonlitwaters

You can also read Roommate, if you haven't already.

Gerard was supposed to be the star of a short story, and he probably still will be.

The creepy not-a-love-story is almost finished. It shall be called Mine Forever.

WHOA! That was classic Davey ego-rantage!

"I'm jealous of practically every web cartoonist who has a monthly donation report in the $100s (Tales of the Questor/Namir Deiter/MegaTokyo) while I can go years and not get $20. I'm jealous of folks who get fauned over while I only get the back hand put-downs after my own long hours and hard work. At times it's just impossible to put out more work than what I've been putting out when that's all the "support" you're getting."

It just never has occured to him that, hmm, maybe I suck!

Oh yeah, also working on a Hsu and Chan fanfic, because I want to be the first person ever to do it.

Edited by author 08-05-2005 09:30 PM
New Scarlet
Someone hit Scarlet with the STFU stick, please?

Scarlett's accent is everything I hate about Southern accents. It's worse that Mouse on the first season of ReBoot, and that's pretty damn bad. (I live in Atlanta, so crappy southern accents really irritate me!)

Davey, the "Burned Fur" thing was over years ago. How about coming up with a story for your characters instead of just sticking your rants in their mouths? As for the donations... Bill, you said it all.

Gee, Zef, you'd think Naoki Maeda ran over your puppy or something.

Davey:
"Can't you just get warm and fuzzy over what she said?"

Not without a pipe through my head, no.

I glanced at the 3 sites Davey mentioned in his rant, to see if their art was better than his. Yes, it was, but how hard is that? There did seem to be a lot of dialogue (which I didn't read). But, c'mon--a long conversation in a bathroom with a stranger about the fame Scarlett instantly gained in 3 weeks, without him showing her gaining it? Even freakin' Baka Breakers, molasses in winter as it was, wasn't someone just talking about getting a job in a coffee shop. Man, what happened to those old Sonic strips or Scarlett V1.0, when things happened so fast you couldn't follow them?
And he wonders why his tip jar is empty.

Gee, Zef, you'd think Naoki Maeda ran over your puppy or something.

Naw, and i don't think he was involved in my cat's poisoning either. I don't have anything against DDR at all, really. i just loove PIU's wide, wacky classical selection and your answer was so good i felt i had to stand up for it too, that all.

Lav, be sure to include lots of Gila Mobster!

Nice variety of classical music indeed. I hope that some of them will be in the home release of PIU. And that someone will make decent and afforable pads for it. I won't play on a cheap soft banana-peel mat; I need an Ignition-style pad.

The Hsu and Chan fic is done. I had to post it on Deviant Art, as there's no Hsu and Chan section at fanfic.net.

http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/21442077/

Edited by author 08-06-2005 08:20 PM
No gila mobster AT ALL! that takes .5 off it, for a total of 9.5 out of 10. pretty much like the original thing, even with a line repeated from violence man. (but norm himself reuses a lot, i supect. reading H&C translated in the local EGM is just not the same..)

Dang, the home version of PIU went from 'planned' to 'in progress' to 'presale' pretty fast. must start saving!

Heh. "I see the error of my ways" has been used a couple of times. Violence Man, The Otters, and probably a few others. I wanted to include Gila, Arnie, and Chernobyl, but it just ended up not happening. You're right, it just isn't the same without them.

Well, yes, it's a bit different without them, but i mostly meant to say that reading H&C in the local EGMs, all translated is totally not the same. i approved of repeating the phrase 'cos it makes it further resemble norm's style.

/still awesome

BILL!! If i had a credit card you'd be getting some of THESE as a present real soon. everyone would, actually. so maybe that's why banks never give me one...

Mine Forever is done:
http://www.fictionpress.com/read.php?storyid=1980704

FINALLY. It was supposed to be finished days ago.

S'wounds! Huzzah! Gods Bodkins!

There, that's out of my system now. Armour + Sticks = Fun, but (A+S)+ Damn Hot = Really Tiring. The event organizers promise pictures online soon.

Funny... I found the swarm of vampire cops conceptually less troubling than some of those fridge magnets. I understand that LSD simulates the experience of schizophrenia, and looking at some of those cats, I am forced to wonder-- why would you want that?

Most are charming kitty pictures, tho'.

Edited by author 08-08-2005 03:35 PM
Ernst: That cat with the bugged out eyeball is gonna haunt my nightmares.

I thought that the cat magnets were really cool, especially the insane ones. $12 for 6 magnets, that's quite reasonable. I'll get the full set some day, but right now my disposable income's going to Mimi art commissions.
Yeah, I know, for all his hard work, I should be paying Davey to draw my cats. NEVER.

Edited by author 08-08-2005 07:35 PM
I understand that LSD simulates the experience of schizophrenia, and looking at some of those cats, I am forced to wonder-- why would you want that?

Woah, Why not? those kitties are RAD! (sorry if you already know about Wain) Time-life books meddle with the evidence, but Wain's schizo was all-natural. growing up and living with only his sisters and 11 cats influenced his art a tad, too. there are few sites of him, and all have very little art, but here's some.

Ernst: That cat with the bugged out eyeball is gonna haunt my nightmares.

Meh, you look at Norm's cutesy demons (H&C #2, am i right? i thought the main demon could've been less clichéy.. but it's awesome when Chan wakes up to a demon gnawing on his foot) and then you can't stand a few cute paranoicky, freaky cats. Oh, if you mean the middle one in the first set, it's wearing a monocle.

Edited by author 08-08-2005 08:01 PM
Zef: I knew the bugged out eyeball cat, or monocle cat or whatever it is, reminded me of something, but I couldn't remember what. Then I figured it out. It reminds me of this: http://www.ashido.com/forum/viewthread.php...52&action=printable

Here's some more: http://www.livejournal.com/users/zarla/100557.html

Brr.

I can't argue with the vast majority of "why to hate Star Wars III" links. All of those things are indeed problems...but despite that, it's the only kind of pseudo-epic space-opera fare with robots and starship fights out there and I like it.

So I like the movie, but the list isn't infuriating...well it's infuriating in the sense that you wish Lucas took better care of his material, but you can't argue most of the points.

I wish he'd shut up about the Tarzan yell though. It seems like not such a big stretch that it's a "parallel evolution" warrior race kind of battle yell.

Kirk:
I wish he'd shut up about the Tarzan yell though. It seems like not such a big stretch that it's a "parallel evolution" warrior race kind of battle yell.

Well, I guess that we'll have to "agree to disagree" here.
Do you really think that Lucas parallelilly evolved the Tarzan yell, or that he just "thought it was his idea of wit, while everyone else just fake-smiled at the signer of their paychecks"? Remember, this is the guy who thought everyone would just love them those hi-larious Ewoks and the Jar-Jar.

In the first film, he gave his aliens their own languages. That was one of the most amazing things about SW in 1977--subtitled aliens!! It gave the movie, as silly as it was, a veneer of reality. But the Tarzan yell is no different than the Ewoks appearing at the same time as the Care Bears hit the market. By Return of the Jedi, it was all about filling his wallet.

Would the yell seem as cool if it was a Woody Woodpecker laugh? Or if before Yoda kicked ass, he ate a can of spinach? It's just lazy filmmaking by a man surrounded by people who were too afraid to say "George...that's just stupid."

Actually, let me just distill the Tarzan Yell into why it hurt the movie:

As hard as Sith made suspension of disbelief, a Wookiee Tarzan-yelling while swinging on a vine hurt it as much as Chewbacca driving a Jeep Cherokee over a clone trooper while drinking a Sprite Remix. It was gratuitous to the X-TREEEEME!!!

It's just lazy filmmaking by a man surrounded by people who were too afraid to say "George...that's just stupid."

Amen to that, bro. Ditto the young Anakin repeatedly saying, "Yippee!" George...dude...NO-ONE says, "Yippee!", especially not little kids!

What a maroon...like, ohmigod, fer shure! 23 skidoo!

I think I've made my point.

I just noticed the new post, and I'm not so sure that the hit counter on Real Ultimate Power is fake. It was an internet fad on par with All Your Base a few years ago, it spawned dozens of imitations (around here we like "Engineers: Real Ultimate Power"), and the guy even wrote a "Real Ultimate Power" book that I saw being sold at Borders. In fact, I'm surprised that you haven't seen it before.

*the purpose of the Amanda is to flip out and surf the Internet*

Edited by author 08-10-2005 07:05 PM
yeah man, now it'll turn out you haven't read Maddox's site as well.

Edited by author 08-11-2005 01:21 AM
It was an internet fad on par with All Your Base a few years ago...In fact, I'm surprised that you haven't seen it before.

I had to have someone point out AYB to me to know it existed. It makes me think that, HMM, maybe there are more websites out there than the 100 or so in my bookmarks! Is that possible?!

Note: Even Kirk had never seen it before. And he's been on the web longer than most of us COMBINED. Possibly even before we were BORN. ;)

Edited by author 08-11-2005 07:29 AM
I think there's something like 300 websites, Bill. It's creepy!

"America Supports You Freedom March" eh? Now, is that missing some punctuation ('America Supports You, Freedom' March) or is it just crummy syntax ('America Supports YOUR Freedom' March... whoever the hell you are)? Either way, the fact that it's not an "America Dun Soppurt Yer Freedom Classic Car Cruise and Tractor Pull" is an indicator of how well this whole effort to crush terrorism and secure the world's oil for democracy thing is working out. As of yesterday, there's parts of Canada where gas is running $1.10 a litre. Which in US money and measure is just under $3.50 a gallon. [edit-- which is still cheap by European standards]

Sure wish I had me a Tango or an Eliica.

The Tarzan yell bugged me too. The reason is that it popped me right out of the reality of the movie. With that very blatant reference, it reminded me that this is just a movie, wrecking the immersion effect. It also seemed, well, cutesy.

Another teeny detail that annoyed me: the giant iguana made the same sound over and over. No variation; it's like they dropped the same soundfile in over and over. It got obnoxious after a while. It's not the movie's fault, but the goofiness of the lizard and the "wark" sound kept reminding me of a chocobo.

Still, after visiting my sister's family and having to sit through chunks of the first ep, particularly the pod racing scene, I gotta say that there is plenty worse out there.

Edited by author 08-11-2005 09:28 AM
Roll up, roll up, gitcher luverly Gonterman Lost Boy found drafts 'ere. They're fresh, they're fetid and also include the famed DDR and 'Tower of Paris'...
Word 6.0 doc
rich text file(for those of us who don't HAVE MS Word)
Also includes AUTOBIOGRAPHICAL elements. Including some of Davey's old 'friends'...
These docs also have Angst Poetry. You have been warned.

I was in the library yesterday, and I saw a book titled "Why We Will Never Run Out of Oil: The Virtue of Waste" or something similar. I can't even blame this on conservatives because, as much as I don't like them, I don't think conservatives are this dumb. I have trouble imagining ANYONE this dumb. Even Bill's circus of drooling Bukoff alkies would be like "Whut, is thuh oil fairies gonna come at night and refill thuh wells fer quarters? He-YUCK!"

Oh dear LORD. Davey's out of his mind. Yeah, what else is new, but this time it really makes me laugh. On his first time on a DDR stage his character passes a 10-footer? Oh, yeah, right. I've been dancing 9 months and I've worked up to the middle of the nines, and the tens are WAY out of my range. 9 is deemed "catastrophic" and some of them have me wheezing on the floor afterwards. You don't take on a 10 unless you have very good health insurance.

Here's what Adam passed on the first try. For contrast, here's the meanest one I've ever been able to pass.

I would have thought that the skill involved to beat DDR is mostly eye-foot coordination and excellent reflexes.
Davey as Pan Boy probably thinks that it's all about being *light*...

Those maps look INSANE. Sakura heavy goes up to *320* bpm? The experts' feet must be blurs...

Mimi - At the higher levels, it's more than just eye-foot and reflexes. Some of the songs play nasty tricks on you. For example, say you have an up arrow you have to hold, and while you're holding it you have to tap left and then right. Guess what, that makes you swivel around. And sometimes the songs turn you around completely, so you have to break eye contact with the screen! (I've gotten good at fast footwork to *avoid* turning, myself. I always lose my place. I'll even break freezes rather than turn completely away from the scren. This makes me a weenie.)

Also, with some songs it can be really difficult to handle the timing. You don't hit the arrows on time by visually lining them up with the targets; you do it with the beat of the song. At lighter levels (1-6 feet) the arrows pretty much follow the metronome, with the yellows being quarter beats and the blues eighths. No problem. But sometimes they're in *syncopation* instead of right on the rhythm, which is tricky. And at harder levels the arrows might be timed to the lyrics, or the string hits, or the background, or something else. There are also weird maneuvers like putting jumps (two-arrow steps) in the middle of streams (lines of single arrows) and gallops (two sixteenth steps, an eighth pause, another two sixteenths, and on, making you bounce around like a galloping horse - there's a bunch of those in Tsugaru, a 9-footer that I can actually A). And then there's the simple exhaustion factor. The songs are only 1.5 minutes long, but the worst ones can burn 35-40 calories in that time!

DDR is *not* about being light. Yeah, being light means you have less mass to move around, but it also means that the sensors may not even know you're there. I always do much worse in the arcade than I do at home because the ones in the arcade sometimes don't even register my steps, and they nearly always break my freezes. That's bloody frustrating. (For the record, I weigh 105. You'd think that that'd be enough to set off a sensor, but noooo...)

320 BPM isn't so bad. My reading comfort zone is 300-360 BPM, actually. If I have a song that goes by at 125 to 180 BPM, I'll double the speed. Not the song itself, but the arrows. That gives me less time to react to them, but that spreads them out so I can see them distinctly rather than being overwhelmed by a piranha-like swarm. The only songs I don't speed mod are the really fast ones like Max 300, which is 300 BPM of deeeeep huuuurting.

Edited by author 08-11-2005 09:49 PM
Yeah, that Davey is pretty bad. But (for him) it's actually intelligible, even with the continual switching of tenses ("Sache was snarling in anger as he gets up"). He seems to have created a universe where everyone, including the heroes, is a totally insane dick who starts screaming abuse (as Davey once said) "at the start of a pin."

I'm willing to bet that if you sucker-punched someone in the nuts over nothing, and then your mother began screaming about shooting up the high school before beating its principal, the casino security guards would be more interested in you than the principal.

Things I'd have preferred not to know about Davey:

A mere 5% of his beatings came at home.
He, a teenager, hangs around his mother while wearing only his underwear.
Every single part of the "Boy" rant, especially "To be a Boy means that nothing of yours will be safe. Any part of your body will be slapped, what you own will be taken away, your room will always be barged in by someone angry at you, you will always be grounded, you will always be swatted. It’ll happen because of something they claim you’ve done, and it doesn’t matter if you even remember doing it, or even done it at all. You’re presumed Guilty, that’s all that’s needed..."
"To be a Boy means that you’re regulated to the basement of your parent’s house, with no acceptable idea of what you want to do with your life. You will always be inadequate of going out on your own, and anything that would be even considered will fail utterly. And you will still be punished for your failure. A Boy at 11 is still a Boy at 16, and will still be a Boy at 35."

And finally, the preview for the next chapter of horrors:

“Shagging!?” Adam’s voice had some shock in it. “Mom, I’m still in the cootie stage.”
“And I’ve seen the Discovery Channel, Wendy,” Vixen added. “Do you know how much it makes me want to retch when they show what they do to something you’d go Number One with?”

Ahh...what Discovery Channel show is THAT?

"America Supports You Freedom March" eh?

I think that the unparseable name is an attempt to confuse people: It's not about supporting freedom, or "the troops," or anything but "Support the War." I suspect that the turnout will be quite low. Even Americans ain't THET dumb! It'll be interesting to see how many people show up for this Stalin-styled mass march.

I think that the reason that they got Klint Schwarze--err, Clint Black, to perform "I Raq and Roll" (wherein Herr Black thinks that Saddam and Osama had pajama parties together) is only because they found out that the guy who sang "The Horst Wessel Song" is dead.

I can't wait!! It'll be the longest Two Minute Hate EVER!

Re: Davey excerpt two down--
1) No issues regarding childhood there, eh?
2) you’re regulated to the basement ...because when the Regulator's ain't a-ridin', they're a-settin' in the basement. Although, for a miracle, it is the right form of "you're"
3) “Mom, I’m still in the cootie stage.” I'm a bit confused. Does he mean larval, or does he have a dragonfly-like nymph form? Either way, the implication is that at some point he erupts through his own back in a mature instar and gets down to some serious eating'n'breeding.

“Shagging!?” Adam’s voice had some shock in it. “Mom, I’m still in the cootie stage.”
“And I’ve seen the Discovery Channel, Wendy,” Vixen added. “Do you know how much it makes me want to retch when they show what they do to something you’d go Number One with?”
Ladies and Gentlemen, 35-year-old virgins.*golf clap*

If these two start progressing to infantilism, I say we talk Mercy Killings....

You're making my brain hurt. At least the DDR stuff I could understand. This... *choke*

I was in the library yesterday, and I saw a book titled "Why We Will Never Run Out of Oil: The Virtue of Waste" or something similar.

When I was still living in Florida, I saw a book called Don't Check Your Brains at the Door. Basically, it shows "how Christianity stands up to the test of fact and reason."

I forgot most of what I skimmed through while standing in the bookstore--something about proving that Abe Lincoln and Jesus existed or something other--but I can remember not being impressed.

Edited by author 08-12-2005 07:55 PM
The experts' feet must be blurs...

Well, i dunno. PIU has songs as fast and evil as that, of course, and when you just look at the players, they don't look like blurs at all, rather slow. i dunno 'cos i can't tackle that kinda stuff yet, weighing 200 and all. weight does matter in this case, i'm not fast enough. I'm waiting to get the home version to practise madly and comfortably.

Mimi, that's one of the cleanest pieces of Intel i've seen on the G-man yet. Awesome. Even if i've never done it before, i'm working on it, though much of what i thought it's been said already. of course, it's way too good to pass up. However...

If these two start progressing to infantilism, I say we talk Mercy Killings....

Does that mean that Vixen's parts were written by herself? that'd give it a whole, way more icky spin. The elimination of the subjects would be considered merciful for the rest of the Free World.

Bill, i thought it could be, but the bite only gave me a heck of an itch. (in response to THIS)

You're making my brain hurt. At least the DDR stuff I could understand. This... *choke*

'Tis a sorry state of Daveyism when e'en great misty Negaduck runs in dread fear from his mad poesy!

(LaGrey wouldve done that a thousand times better--and may I belatedly add that her Hsu & Chan fanfic was hilarious?)

Bill: Squee!

Edited by author 08-13-2005 02:00 AM
Hokay, well if the LBF drafts left everyone feeling in queasy need of a good hot shower, this should be more comfortable territory:
New Scarlet PI. He may suck, but he's *prolific* in his suckiness...

Oh geez, he's off on his Burnt Fur tirade again. And Jim SO feels their pain as a gay man that he's going to now DENY his homosexuality. Paging Logic to the front desk!

Hmmm... whomever she's facing in the last frame could be any one of us.....

OH NOES SHES GONA BE SHOT WITH
...a garden hose?
Hopefully it's an eraser gun, and it'll also remove all of Davey's sloppy sketch lines.
And PLEASE erase the twin dog collars! It's getting even more abnormal now.

Davey:
"Anyone want to tell me any of the horror stories they gotten or heard of?"

Dude...have you spent any part of the last decade looking in your mirror? Most people who are aware of obsessed furries think of them as middle-aged weirdo virgins living in mom's basement. And if there's ever been a "permanently fucked-up by furry fandom" poster boy...

Hmmm... whomever she's facing in the last frame could be any one of us.....

I wish it was me. Bet there's no bloodshed though. Just when you think everything is gonna turn out OK and someone is gonna 'put a cap' in the ass of the furry! It wouldn't suprise me if the person holding the gun spends the next three weeks screwing Scarlet, that would be so out of character for a Davey plot.

Time to open the polls again, methinks!
What will happen next?
I'm betting that the next page, Scarlet will awaken from ANOTHER blackout and Toni (or her captor) will then spend the next 5 pages explaining the massive action scenes that have passed unseen since this page.

Given Scarlet is not armed, I'm guessing she'll either smother whomever has the gun with her boobage or those two kids will jump him.

It's good to see that Davey's gone out and gotten himself some props as visual references. That is TOTALLY a potato gun-- Scarlet's gonna get a face full of low-velocity starch!

Zef-- that's a pretty cool spider, but your posting is also a synopsis of the first ten minutes of a lot of bad horror movies. Beware the green spider!

And now, my favourite response to the Kirk Kameron Kookiness (oh, K... the alphabet's funniest letter!):

"You tell him you are wondering why he chose to reject Christ."

Because he's a bastard who imprisoned me in a realm of ultimate pain and suffering for all eternity, just because I didn't kiss his ass on a daily basis.

The really funny thing is I've read something very much like this, written by the Dalai Lama. "One life-time to get it right? That don't make no sense!"

Edited by author 08-13-2005 09:08 PM
Speaking of gay men, James Dobson has published a helpful "guide" on determining whether your son might be a gay homosexual fag queer--because all men must be straight for the Good of America!(R)(TM)

A few folks like Sebastian and Giblets gleefully added their own suggestions in their own blogs (the latter is highly recommended).

(Maybe Davey can add to the suggestion list, as he's an expert. By the way, has he figured out which ear the earring--sorry, onion ring--goes on yet?)

EDIT: Whoops, Sebastian wasn't writing for Sadly, No! at the time.

Interesting: Davey gets comments on his assertion that furries are discriminated against, and none of them agree with him. And, yes, he brings up Burnt Fur from almost a decade ago--again.

I wonder if he's always been into anthro, or if he only did after he thought that they were oppressed, so as to feed his bottomless victim complex.

Man, did it take me time.

I added comment to Davey's LBF draft. Every paragraph of it.

It starts HERE and continues HERE (DJ made me split it in two parts)

Edited by author 08-14-2005 01:15 PM
Wow. Zef, you're my multi-lingual hero. Your reward shall be a photograph of a ten pound note.

I wonder if he's always been into anthro, or if he only did after he thought that they were oppressed, so as to feed his bottomless victim complex.

I'm hinging my bets on the latter. People like him need to feel victimized in order to justify their existence. Makes 'em feel speshul!

I know furry fans who see the fandom as nothing more than a hobby--they laugh at those who take it too seriously and consider it a lifestyle; no doubt they'd have a field day with Davey.

Zef:

AH-HAHAHAAHAAAA!!!
That was awesome!

"It’s cute how his friend was a ‘Mary Jane’ user, and he’s a ‘Mary Sue’ user."

You also pointed out a couple of things I missed when I 1st read it:

I thought that "95% of his beatings were school related," not "95% of his beatings at home were." Who knows how true it is, but it's still creepy.

The story is set 1 or 2 generations in the future? So, in 40-80 years, DDR will still be around? It's similar to today, when you can't park near the speakeasy without a flapper doing the Charleston in your rumble seat.

Saw Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Favorite part was the ending. It's like Burton got to the end of the book and said "Wait a minute. This sucks!" and just started randomly making up new stuff.

Wonka comes off seeming simultaneously more and less like a creepy child molestor than in the old movie. More because he's creepily insane, less because he hates being touched by human hands. In an interview, Burton was asked about the similarity between Wonka and Michael Jackson, and he said "The difference is that Michael Jackson loves children, while Willie Wonka can't stand them."

Awesome work, Zef :)
I was amazed to find out he has a graphics tablet. Why, I have no idea, he can barely handle a pencil....

Wonka comes off seeming simultaneously more and less like a creepy child molestor than in the old movie.

You got that feeling, too, huh?

My favorite line out of the whole movie was, "Everything in this room is edible, including me. But you can't eat me, because that would be cannibalism."

Fistlekits: I liked it when he described Charlie as the least horrifying of the five children.

All of us embittered misanthropes should should go and see this movie IMMEDIATELY. We have found a new hero. (Well, this guy and Johnny Depp in every other Tim Burton movie.)

Bleh. I though Pirates of the Caribbean was supposed to be a good movie!

Speaking of bad writing, the Gerard story is inching along slooooowly. Even though I know how it's going to end. Although I do have a tag line now: "A magician is an ordinary human being who meddles in things best left alone."

*sniff* so you like it? *wipes tear away*

Thankies to all, from a basement where i can rent a comp for free here in the wonderful autonomous university of mexico!

/2nd day at univ.

The Mary-Sue Litmus Test.

I tried it using "Davey Kintobor" from Gont's Sonic comics. I gave up when he was classed as an "Uber-Sue" before I was even halfway through...

Edited by author 08-16-2005 11:01 PM
You know what we need? The Gonterman drinking game.
For all I know, it could very well exist already...

I'll start with some obvious ones:
* The main character is a self-insert and everyone else revolves around him - no sips. Too easy.
* The story contains an android fox girl - 1 sip
   - who is devoted to the main character - 1 sip
* The main character has some underdog agenda, spouted at every opprtunity possible - 1 sip
   - and it's furry-related - 1 sip
   - Burnt Furs is cited, either in the story main or as an author's note - 1 sip
* The main character is named Adam - 1 sip
* Any character from Disney/anime/video game canon shows up - 1 sip per character
    -They're warped beyond recognition - 1 sip
    -The characters are actually left as they are - chug
* There's a cute Japanese girl in the story - 1 sip
    - and her name is not accurately Japanese - 1 sip
    - and she cosplays - 1 sip
* A piece of utterly ridiculous onomatopoeia is used - 2 sips

...I think that'll do for starters ;)

Edited by author 08-17-2005 01:13 AM
Geez, I really thought that I'd done a Gont drinking game years ago, but I didn't. Of course, I also thought that I once owned a robotic skunk suit and angsted about my betrayal by my daddy Dr Robotnik, so maybe my memory isn't what it once was.
We also fought a giant zombie Hitler with a Piasa Bird! But I guess that that incident might've made the evening news, so maybe we didn't.

Add ons:

-The story's robotic fox girl looks like a female Gonterman, with breasts that are weirdly huge but quite asymmetrical. 1 sip the first time only, as it will happen every time she's pictured.

-1 sip every time a character has a huge open mouth with a uvulating tongue like an operatic hippo. Stop after the second one, or you'll drink yourself to death.

-Big sweat blob. 1 sip. Of SWEAT!

-Bullies bullies bullies! 1 sip if they're mentioned, 2 if Larry Stu kicks his butt. Or 3, if he smashes their nads without repercussion.
Chug if Larry gets his ass kicked. (Note: never happens)

-CRAZED NINJA MONKEYS RIDING DINOSAURS with DAWN WELLS in a BIKINI!!! No sips, as nothing that cool ever happens in his strips.

-Terrible, terrible fake accent. No sips; it's only a matter of time. Same for dialogue in an unreadable font.

-Twoard, wrear or comming. 1 sip for each.

-Mountain Dew mentioned. 1 sip, but it must be of a Livewire Latte. Pray he NEVER mentions Mountain Dew!

-Insane out-of-his-ass "real world" ref, such as "Apartments are $25 a week!" or "Japanese people are named Nitsan and Native Americans Tofu Bumblefoot Elfwise," or "girls have cooties in their number ones." CHUG! This here's the MOTHERLOAD!

-He mentions his mother and her basement. 1 sad, sad sip of salty tears.

-Complains about having no money in the footnotes. 1 sip, unless he later admits that he bought some art supplies he has no idea how to use, then 2 sips.

-"The people who make fun of me online are as bad as..." the WTC terrorists, Saddam, Dr Robotnik. 1 sip, unless he phrases it "are worse than..." 3 sips.

-Links to someone who's a better artist than him on DevArt, and clearly thinks that they are equals. 1 sip the first time. An additional sip every time you look at his page to see if he's added another. Dude, cut it out, you'll get alcohol poisoning!

-He goes "Poor me, waah!" 1 sip a day. Sip it anyway, he does it at least once a day.

edit:
I'm sorry. When I said "a giant zombie Hitler with a Piasa Bird," I meant "Davey's community college English prof who dared to say his writing was bad," which meant that she was a "Black Female German-Hater" who must be shot with "Talon cop-killer bullets by our hero."

We regret this error.

Edited by author 08-17-2005 09:39 AM
Warning: this will likely bore you. Feel free to skip this post.

I was bored at work, so I put Melissa, my original ReBoot character who I've always thought was a Mary Sue, to the test. She scored positive on...

+ Are one or more other characters attracted to her/him? [1 point]
    Yep. Kilobyte and Jay Matrix.
+ Is an otherwise chaste or stoic character immediately attracted to her/him? [3 point]
    Yep. Kilobyte is an infector Virus, and those are into power, not sex.
+ Is the character of above average intelligence? [1 point]
    She's pretty damn smart. She has to be - she's a benign Virus, and the ones who get found out get exterminated in short order. Gotta be pretty sharp to stay hidden in plain view.
 + Was the character ever forcibly banished from her/his family/tribe/country/etc.? [3 points]
    Yep. She got found out once and had to flee from her system before she was nailed. That's just background info for her, though. It wasn't actually in any of her stories.
+ Is the character a minority, a woman, or a member of a lower caste, who succeeds or makes a contribution in spite of her/his social disadvantage? [3 points]
    She's a Virus who had a crucial position in system restoration, so yeah.
+ Does the character have an angsty childhood, or an angsty past? [1 point]
    Check, see above.
 [Subtract 2 points if the character has a significant personality flaw (e.g. she/he is a spoiled brat, is horribly judgmental or biased, is irrationally violent, is naive and easily manipulated, etc.)]
   She's idealistic to the point of unrealism, and it put other characters in danger. She got them out of it, but there was no heroism involved.
+ Does the character have any particular skill at which she/he the best or among the best? [2 points]
   Yep, system restoration. Which isn't glamorous except among the few people who know what you actually do.
+ Has everyone significant heard of the character? [2 points]
   Among those present at the time frame of the story, yes.
 + Do all of the important characters end up liking/respecting/fearing her/him? [3 points]
+ Did they all like/respect/fear her/him from the beginning? [1 point]
   Yep, yep. She's fairly likeable.
+ Does the character die a romantic death (e.g. suicide, execution, battle wounds, broken heart, etc.)? [2 points]
   Does dying in childbirth offcamera count? It wasn't in her husband's arms, but there's a nice angsty scene afterwards that some people said made them cry.*
+ Is the character someone you would want to be friends with, assuming she/he would be receptive to friendship with you? [1 point]
   Yup.

Depending on the second-to-last question, she either has 18 or 20 points. That makes her a Non-Sue. Yet she was a non-canon character I created and inserted into an existing series, and until her death she was pretty much the center of the series. Go figger.

* Any day I can make someone else cry - for any reason at all - is a good day for me.