TRICK OR TREAT

When the little boys and girls
Knock at my door for candy
I must give them what they want
“Or else” is their modus operandi
So with a false smile I comply
But under my breath I pray
That by the time Christmas comes
They’ll all have tooth decay

THE NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

On all hallows eve when the sun has set
The ghosts and ghouls come out to play
With dripping fangs and bloody claws
They prowl the street in search of prey
And when to my door the fiends appear
I tell the “Trick or Treaters” to go away

HARRY POTTER - THE WITCH WITH AN ITCH

He must return every time school ends
To the bosom of the family Dursley
Where he must while away the time
With only an old owl for company

He waited for word from his chums
For news of some adventure to be had
But they were having too much fun
To spare a thought for the lonely lad

Hermione was feeling a little ginger
Where the Weasley family dwell
Riding Ron like a nimbus
Until he screamed out “bloody hell”

Madam Maxime was spanking Hagrid
And covering his genitals in paint
While Neville was with Ginny
Who held his wand and made him faint

Professor McGonagall morphed into a cat
Then curled up on Dumbledore’s lap
Draco Malfoy wore women’s underwear
As he played with his old chap

Madam Pomfrey played doctors and nurses
With Minister Cornelius Fudge
And Rita Skeeter tied up young Nigel
So tight that he couldn’t budge

Madeye Moody had his meat and two veg
Handled by Pomona Sprout
So deftly did she manipulate him
That his good eye nearly popped out

Seamus played with Cornish pixies
Where Goblin meant something more
And the Patil girls made up a threesome
With the demure Fleur Delacour

Goyle and Crabbe liked to be beaten
And over a desk they were bent
Thought Filius Flitwick had to stand on a box
To meet out their punishment

Unwanted Harry sat alone in his room
Pining for his young love Cho
And was finally forced to seek solace
Where the sad and the lonely go

He sought out the purveyors of sex
Looking for some company
At a place frequented by Filch and Snape
On a street called Ven Ally

But he contracted the vilest irritation
On his most intimate patch
After consorting with a cut price bludger
At a place called the “Golden snatch”

If he had not been so cheap
And not chosen such a dirty little witch
He would have had his carnal pleasures
Without catching the dreaded quid itch

Do you want play Warhammer?
Do you want buy Warhammer gold and Warhammer Power leveling?
you can to the website:www.gold-warhammer.com
湖南留学网

MY BROTHERS GIRLFRIEND

My brother has a new lady
She’s very nice but no beauty
Tall and slim with a nice figure
She definitely pulls his trigger
He is besotted with her sadly
And he dotes on her quite madly
He calls her his little hollyhock
While we all call her Bob Foc
As she has a Body Off Baywatch
And a Face Off Crimewatch

YOU CAN’T HAVE YOUR CAKE

The upstairs flat has been sublet
Above our local patisserie
To an attractive young woman
Who wears exotic lingerie
Her pursuits are in nature erotic
Ok she’s a prostitute I will admit
But there are advantages to this
As you can eat your cake and have it

BYE, BYE, EVERYONE, BYE, BYE

Sooty is 60 years old now
And has had a long career
But behind the sweet façade
There lurks a secret I fear
Sooty and co-star Sweep
Were rivals for the love of Soo
This caused bitter resentment
Still unresolved between the two
Soo’s on screen persona
Was all sweetness and light
But being fought over
Brought her great delight
But this well kept secret
Is not the only one you see
There is another scandal
Lurking to embarrass Sooty
Despite Soo’s on screen image
Off screen she was quite wild
And the dirty little Panda
Had Sooty’s glove child

THE NAKED TRUTH (2)

Mary stood naked before her husband
“What do you like most about me?”
"What is it that turns you on more,
My pretty face or my sexy body?"
He perused her nakedness briefly
"Your sense of humour!" said hubby

SLEEPING BEAUTIES

Men wake up looking pretty much as they did
The night before when they went to bed
While women wake up looking an awful fright
Because they manage to deteriorated during the night

AN ILL WIND

An elderly couple were in church
When about halfway through,
May leant over and whispered
In the ear of her husband lou,
'I just let out a silent fart
What do you think I should do?'
'I think you should put a new battery
In your hearing aid' Replied Lou

THE NAKED TRUTH (1)

Mary stood naked before the bathroom mirror
And wiped the steam away so she could see clearer
Then her heart sank at what she could see
She said to her husband "I’m fat and I’m ugly”
“I look horrible; pay me a compliment" she sighed
"You have perfect eyesight" He replied

Need to know before buying Lace wigs