I am looking for rhyming riddle for "an azure glop" and a rhyming riddle for a chilly mushroom. Here is an example "a purple gorilla is a "grape ape". A sad fruit is a "glum plum" A thief in a library is a "book Crook".

I can't seem to find rhyming riddle for "An azure glop, or "chilly mushroom" for chilly mushroom i thought maybe "cold mold" and azure glop i know glop means like sloppy food being served? anyone know?

HARRY POTTER AND THE WITCH WITH AN ITCH

When everyone was having fun
In the holidays, poor lonely Harry
Had to return each time
To the bosom of the family Dursley
As he waited for word from Sirius
He was always at a lose end
All his school pals and teachers were busy
And his owl was his only friend
Hermione was getting a little ginger
Where the Weasley family dwell
Riding Ron like a nimbus
Until he screamed out “bloody hell”
While Neville was with young Ginny
Who grabbed his wand and made him faint
Madam Maxime was spanking Hagrid
And covering his genitals in paint
Professor McGonagall morphed into a cat
And curled up on Dumbledore’s lap
Malfoy wore Madam Pomfreys underwear
And played with his old chap
Seamus played with Cornish pixies
And goblin’s had a different meaning
Pomona Sprout had meat and two veg
As Wood gazed smiling at the ceiling
Unwanted Harry sat alone in his room
Pining for his young love Cho
And was finally forced to seek solace
Where the sad and the lonely go
He sought out the purveyors of sex
Looking for some company
At a place frequented by Filch and Snape
On a street called Ven Ally
But he contracted the vilest irritation
On his most intimate patch
After consorting with a cut price bludger
At a place called the “Golden snatch”
If he had not been so cheap
And not chosen a dirty little witch
He would have had his carnal pleasures
Without catching the dreaded quid itch

DR. NO, NO, NO

In 2008
The next James Bond movie theme
Is to be performed
By Amy Winehouse it would seem
I heard her described
As Shirley Bassey with tattoos
Perhaps more accurately she’s
A tatty Shirley Bassey in my view

PICCADILLY PHILLY

We stood on a busy London street
One bright warm summer day
When a girl in a skimpy top
And very short skirt came our way

The girl was walking towards us
And she caused every head to turn
Men and women, young and old
Mens jaws dropped and women looked stern

She was quite an attractive girl
Not a stunner or a movie star
But not worthy of all the attention
She was just a little above par

The reason soon became apparent
As we noticed when she passed
Her skirt hem was tucked in the waste band
And she was completely bare arsed

ARTISTS WANTED

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Paul Curtis, email me re: Paul's Corner - your emails are being returned to me as not known address. Thanks, NYK

A MOTHERS TALE # 2

I was out shopping with the kids one day
And we stopped for lunch at a burger place
We had just begun to eat our burgers
When a smell papered that I couldn’t trace
It was so bad that I couldn’t eat
I checked the baby and she was clean
"Johnny, have you had an accident?"
"No mum," Johnny replied. “Not me”
The smell got worse and I cursed
As I didn’t bring spare clothes with me
"Are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No mum," Johnny replied.” not me”
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
Because the smell was really smarting
"Are you really SURE you didn't have an accident?"
he leaped up like he was departing
Dropped his pants and spread his cheeks
And said "see mum, I was only farting!!"

A MOTHERS TALE # 1

While in queue at the bank one afternoon
My toddler decided to act the loon
Tired of the queues disapproving glare
I managed to grab firm hold of her
I told her if her bad behaviour did not finish
"Right now" then she would be punished
To my horror to my face for all to see
She loudly began to threaten me
With narrowed eyes and furrowed brow
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma what I saw alright
When you kissed Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
With all the dignity that I could muster
I tried to show no sign of fluster
In deathly silence with all eyes on me
I headed quickly for the door to flee
As I Dragged my daughter though the door
I heard laughter erupt in a hilarious roar

THE PERILS OF ALCOHOL

Excessive alcohol can leave you screwed
Some of the Side effects may include
Nausea, vomiting or dizziness,
Table dancing or erotic lustfulness,
Loss of motor control, loss of money,
Loss of clothing, loss of virginity,
Delusions of grandeur, dehydration,
Headache, dry mouth and incarceration,
Plus a desire to sing Karaoke
And other jiggery pokery
Such as all-night rounds of Strip Poker,
Truth Or Dare, and or Naked Twister

LUNCH TIME IN THE CAFETERIA

At a catholic school at lunch time one day
As The children queued up in an orderly way
The first thing that confronted the pupils
On the end of the counter was a large pile of apples
By the apples a nun had written a note saying
"Take only ONE because God is watching."
as they made their way along the counter
The canteen rang out with childish laughter
Chocolate chip cookies stood in a large pile
With a label which made them all smile
A child had written a note for the pupils,
"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

ROSES ARE RED

Rose’s are red
Violet’s are blue
Daisy’s are white
Lily’s are too

Poppy’s are red
Iris’s are blue
Panzy’s are varied
Petunia’s are too

Ruby’s are red
Saphire’s are blue
Pearls are white
Jazmin’s are too

Marigold’s are orange
Hyacinth’s are blue
Holly’s are scratchy
Heather’s are too

May’s are white
Fern’s are green
Ivy’s are variegated
And very often seen

Busy Lizzie’s
Colours are many
And Honeysuckle
Doesn’t wear any

I LIKE TO EAT BEANS
WITH CHEESE AND FRYE RICE
KAUSE IM A THUG

Cyberdosh Tish Tosh!

Shona Prophett set about,
Living like a pauper,
Shona Prophett, without doubt,
Is gonna come a cropper.

Living on four grand, you'll see,
Is not so easy done,
If Shona goes a spending spree,
She'll blow it all in one!

Has anyone else actually READ what this mad dame is doing? Check it out at http://www.shonaprophett.co.uk
But remember to come back and vote for me at http://www.eddieelwood.co.uk

This lady had a steamboat
the steamboat had a bell,
the lady went to heaven
and the steamboat went to...

hello operator,
and give me number nine!
and if you disconnect me,
I'll cut off your be-

-hind the frigerator,
there was a piece of glass.
and when she sat upon it,
it cut her big fat...

ask (a**)me no more questions,
I'll tell you no more lies...

VIVA ESPANIA

One Sangria, Two Sangria, Three Sangria, Four
Five Bacardi, Six Bacardi, Seven Bacardi, More
Eight Tequila, Nine Tequila, Ten Tequila, Floor

THE TRUTH ASTROLOGERS WOULD’NT TELL YOU ABOUT GEMINI

Gemini’s are quick and intelligent thinkers
They are also known to be heavy drinkers
Liked only because of their sexual persuasion
They bend over backwards on any occasion
Gemini’s never seem to find the time to relax
But do for committing unnatural sexual acts