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I LOVE ANAGRAMS

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 1

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are funny
Some light the gloom
For example
Dormitory = dirty room

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 2

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are funny
Some have flair
For example
Presbyterian = best in prayer

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 3

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are strange
Some are funny
For example
The eyes = they see

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 4

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some make me chuckle
Some make me roar
For example
George Bush = he bugs Gore

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 5

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are serious
Some are fun
For example
Gauteng = get a gun
I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 6

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some amuse a little
Some amuse me lots
For example
The morse code = here come dots

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 7

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are strange
Some are funny
For example
Slot machines = cash lost in me

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 8

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are strange
Some are funny
For example
Animosity = is no amity

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 9

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are serious
Some are fun
For example
Eleven plus two = twelve plus one

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 10

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some make me chuckle
Some leave me red faced
For example
A decimal point = I’m a dot in place
I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 11

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some make me chuckle
Some make my sides ache
For example
The earthquakes = that queer shake

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 12

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are funny
Some have flair
For example
Astronomer = moon starer

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 13

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some make me chuckle
Some make my sides split
For example
Desperation = a rope ends it

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 14

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some make me chuckle
Some make me titter
For example
Mother-in-law = woman Hitler

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 15

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
They are fun
By varying degrees
For example
This is funny
For the Yankees
Snooze alarms = alas! No more z 's
But if you happen to have
A British head
Snooze alarms = alas! No more z 's

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 16

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are droll
Some hurt your sides
For example
Election results = let's recount lies

PLATEX WOMAN

What with middle age spread
And the force of gravity
Time has played havoc
With my once sylph like body
My hour glass figure is no more
Alas it’s more like a barometer case
And my “cross your heart” bra
Is more of a “cross your waist”

I LOVE ANAGRAMS # 1

I love anagrams
Anagrams are great
Some are funny
Some light the gloom
For example
Dormitory = dirty room

GIRLS GIRLS GIRLS

Suzy the fluesy is fun in the Jacuzzi
Jude the prude is really rather rude
Tarty Marti is a must at a party
And silly Lily is a very frisky philly

Slender Brenda is really very tender
Whacky Jackie likes to smoke her backy
Crazy Daisy is perhaps a little lazy
And trendy Wendy is extremely bendy

Plain Jane is certainly not mundane
Immoral Coral has a tendency to quarrel
Handy Candy is often rather randy
And mean Jean is frankly just obscene

Steady Teddy is almost always ready
Bobbin Robin can get me throbbin
Shirty Gurty so easily gets flirty
But it’s rosy Rosie with whom I get cosy

Iwas walking

ALL HALLOWS EVE

I hide behind the sofa quivering in fear
Now the witching hour is near
The curtains are drawn tight
And I’ve turned off the lights
The TV volume is way down low
I sit and cower it its feeble glow
Then comes the knock upon the door
And I curl up quivering on the floor
My heart is pounding my breath is shallow
My mouth is dry it’s hard to swallow
On all hallows eve I live in mortal dread
But not of monsters or the un-dead
The fear that turns my heart to stone
Is Trick or Treaters knowing I’m home

OOPS! This isn't poetry, I guess it was supposed to go here!

ATTENTION ALL CYBERDOSHERS

Got my post, nice to see,
Read of the challenge, what's it to be?
Shona Prophett, showin' a loss?
Does anybody really give a toss?

Have to admit, if this is true,
I could be tempted, so could you,
Wouldn't it be cool, wouldn't it be funny,
If we all took part and we all made money?

Check it out, then let me know,
If you're taking part, I'll give it a go.

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LAUGH YOURSELF FIT

It is said to keep you fit and well
Laughter is the best medicine
Unless of course you are a diabetic
Then the best thing is insulin

A NIGHT WITH A FIT BIRD

I pulled a girl on Saturday night
And when we were getting at it
She rasped, moaned and thrashed about
And I don’t mean just a bit
Well I thought I was a great lover
That I have to admit
But alas she was an asthmatic
Having an epileptic fit

Edited by author 09-06-2007 06:55 AM
Just checked and 'Glop' can be a pot of anything thrown in and cooked together, like a general mish mash of left overs, so what about, 'a blue stew'?

I am looking for rhyming riddle for "an azure glop" and a rhyming riddle for a chilly mushroom. Here is an example "a purple gorilla is a "grape ape". A sad fruit is a "glum plum" A thief in a library is a "book Crook".

I can't seem to find rhyming riddle for "An azure glop, or "chilly mushroom" for chilly mushroom i thought maybe "cold mold" and azure glop i know glop means like sloppy food being served? anyone know?

HARRY POTTER AND THE WITCH WITH AN ITCH

When everyone was having fun
In the holidays, poor lonely Harry
Had to return each time
To the bosom of the family Dursley
As he waited for word from Sirius
He was always at a lose end
All his school pals and teachers were busy
And his owl was his only friend
Hermione was getting a little ginger
Where the Weasley family dwell
Riding Ron like a nimbus
Until he screamed out “bloody hell”
While Neville was with young Ginny
Who grabbed his wand and made him faint
Madam Maxime was spanking Hagrid
And covering his genitals in paint
Professor McGonagall morphed into a cat
And curled up on Dumbledore’s lap
Malfoy wore Madam Pomfreys underwear
And played with his old chap
Seamus played with Cornish pixies
And goblin’s had a different meaning
Pomona Sprout had meat and two veg
As Wood gazed smiling at the ceiling
Unwanted Harry sat alone in his room
Pining for his young love Cho
And was finally forced to seek solace
Where the sad and the lonely go
He sought out the purveyors of sex
Looking for some company
At a place frequented by Filch and Snape
On a street called Ven Ally
But he contracted the vilest irritation
On his most intimate patch
After consorting with a cut price bludger
At a place called the “Golden snatch”
If he had not been so cheap
And not chosen a dirty little witch
He would have had his carnal pleasures
Without catching the dreaded quid itch

DR. NO, NO, NO

In 2008
The next James Bond movie theme
Is to be performed
By Amy Winehouse it would seem
I heard her described
As Shirley Bassey with tattoos
Perhaps more accurately she’s
A tatty Shirley Bassey in my view

PICCADILLY PHILLY

We stood on a busy London street
One bright warm summer day
When a girl in a skimpy top
And very short skirt came our way

The girl was walking towards us
And she caused every head to turn
Men and women, young and old
Mens jaws dropped and women looked stern

She was quite an attractive girl
Not a stunner or a movie star
But not worthy of all the attention
She was just a little above par

The reason soon became apparent
As we noticed when she passed
Her skirt hem was tucked in the waste band
And she was completely bare arsed

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Paul Curtis, email me re: Paul's Corner - your emails are being returned to me as not known address. Thanks, NYK

A MOTHERS TALE # 2

I was out shopping with the kids one day
And we stopped for lunch at a burger place
We had just begun to eat our burgers
When a smell papered that I couldn’t trace
It was so bad that I couldn’t eat
I checked the baby and she was clean
"Johnny, have you had an accident?"
"No mum," Johnny replied. “Not me”
The smell got worse and I cursed
As I didn’t bring spare clothes with me
"Are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No mum," Johnny replied.” not me”
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident,
Because the smell was really smarting
"Are you really SURE you didn't have an accident?"
he leaped up like he was departing
Dropped his pants and spread his cheeks
And said "see mum, I was only farting!!"

A MOTHERS TALE # 1

While in queue at the bank one afternoon
My toddler decided to act the loon
Tired of the queues disapproving glare
I managed to grab firm hold of her
I told her if her bad behaviour did not finish
"Right now" then she would be punished
To my horror to my face for all to see
She loudly began to threaten me
With narrowed eyes and furrowed brow
"If you don't let me go right now,
I will tell Grandma what I saw alright
When you kissed Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
With all the dignity that I could muster
I tried to show no sign of fluster
In deathly silence with all eyes on me
I headed quickly for the door to flee
As I Dragged my daughter though the door
I heard laughter erupt in a hilarious roar

THE PERILS OF ALCOHOL

Excessive alcohol can leave you screwed
Some of the Side effects may include
Nausea, vomiting or dizziness,
Table dancing or erotic lustfulness,
Loss of motor control, loss of money,
Loss of clothing, loss of virginity,
Delusions of grandeur, dehydration,
Headache, dry mouth and incarceration,
Plus a desire to sing Karaoke
And other jiggery pokery
Such as all-night rounds of Strip Poker,
Truth Or Dare, and or Naked Twister

LUNCH TIME IN THE CAFETERIA

At a catholic school at lunch time one day
As The children queued up in an orderly way
The first thing that confronted the pupils
On the end of the counter was a large pile of apples
By the apples a nun had written a note saying
"Take only ONE because God is watching."
as they made their way along the counter
The canteen rang out with childish laughter
Chocolate chip cookies stood in a large pile
With a label which made them all smile
A child had written a note for the pupils,
"Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

ROSES ARE RED

Rose’s are red
Violet’s are blue
Daisy’s are white
Lily’s are too

Poppy’s are red
Iris’s are blue
Panzy’s are varied
Petunia’s are too

Ruby’s are red
Saphire’s are blue
Pearls are white
Jazmin’s are too

Marigold’s are orange
Hyacinth’s are blue
Holly’s are scratchy
Heather’s are too

May’s are white
Fern’s are green
Ivy’s are variegated
And very often seen

Busy Lizzie’s
Colours are many
And Honeysuckle
Doesn’t wear any

I LIKE TO EAT BEANS
WITH CHEESE AND FRYE RICE
KAUSE IM A THUG

Cyberdosh Tish Tosh!

Shona Prophett set about,
Living like a pauper,
Shona Prophett, without doubt,
Is gonna come a cropper.

Living on four grand, you'll see,
Is not so easy done,
If Shona goes a spending spree,
She'll blow it all in one!

Has anyone else actually READ what this mad dame is doing? Check it out at http://www.shonaprophett.co.uk
But remember to come back and vote for me at http://www.eddieelwood.co.uk

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VIVA ESPANIA

One Sangria, Two Sangria, Three Sangria, Four
Five Bacardi, Six Bacardi, Seven Bacardi, More
Eight Tequila, Nine Tequila, Ten Tequila, Floor

THE TRUTH ASTROLOGERS WOULD’NT TELL YOU ABOUT GEMINI

Gemini’s are quick and intelligent thinkers
They are also known to be heavy drinkers
Liked only because of their sexual persuasion
They bend over backwards on any occasion
Gemini’s never seem to find the time to relax
But do for committing unnatural sexual acts

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MINISTERIAL BUFFET

The Deputy PM, Two jags Prezza
Is an exceedingly portly geezer
Yet all the buzz of Westminster talk
Is not his fondness for pies of pork
It seems he no longer favours pies
But much prefers breasts and thighs
Though not the ones from KFC
But the ones he finds on his secretary

RIDDLE OF THE SANDS - NOT the Erskine Childers version.

Is the sea level rising, is there global warming?
Or is it simply a case that new islands are forming?

"Eureka, Eureka!" Archimedes did yell,
When he suddenly realised he'd something to tell.

The man jumped in a bath, and the water did rise,
But really and truly, was that a surprise?

It is obvious to me, is it obvious to you?
It doesn't take a genius, to see that it's true.

If you shut people in a room without ventilation,
Then temperatures rise, windows drip condensation.

There's less and less space, yet there's heat radiating,
There's less and less air, and no water evaporating.

It's a greenhouse effect, easily resolved,
It's a natural problem, easily solved.

Open the windows, open the door,
Avoid the flood that'll appear on the floor.

Our earth is enclosed by the ozone layer,
And because of a hole, there are many in prayer.

But wouldn't it be feasible, or couldn't it be true,
That the hole in the Ozone may be our only rescue?

Tons of sand and gravel pumped onto the seabeds of Dubai,
May be one more reason we're waving shores goodbye!

============

They're building a brave new world out there! Check out the Palm Islands - Palm Jumeirah, Palm Jebel Ali and Palm Deira, reported as the "self-proclaimed eighth wonder of the world", and then check out 'THE WORLD ISLAND'. Truly amazing, but one HAS to wonder how all this oceanic construction affects the rest of the world when added to the millions of square miles of already 'reclaimed' land. It's some food for thought, at least.

Vote for Eddie Elwood at http://nowyouknow.co.uk

EDDIE'S THEORY OF RELATIVE PROSPERITY

The rate of inflation,
To me, is unstable,
Despite what they say,
Two percent is a fable!
I juggled their figures,
The best I was able,
And then I decided,
To construct my own table.

Relatively speaking,
(I say tongue in cheek),
With a minimum wage,
To take home each week,
The low paid workers,
Should soon hit a peak,
Strength to the workers,
More and more do they seek.

Fancy brand names and holidays,
Hi-tech computers and cars,
Spending minimum wage,
Like some high earning stars,
The highlight's the weekend,
Playing bingo in bars,
No thoughts of the future,
Not even pennies in jars.

I can't be bothered pursuing this rhyme any further, so here are the calculations for anyone out there who is remotely interested.
My suspicion is that minimum wage and the supposed 'low' rates of inflation are just rat traps, brainwashing the less wealthy into believing that things have got better and, if not, you just MIGHT win the lottery. Loss of belief in this pathetic system is 'cured' by a slow conditioning process involving prescribed (or otherwise) addictive medication.
But don't despair... WE MAY ALL BE MILLIONAIRES ALREADY!
The riddle is in figuring out how to keep it for ourselves. Suggestions welcome!

I started my figures from the 1980's, but feel free to estimate from further back (or from more recently) and you'll soon get the picture, bearing in mind that the Government will probably raise the retirement age to 70, cock up another budget and still won't ever be able to tell us where the extra billions went from ever-increasing tobacco taxes and sales of the national gold stock.

Although we live under a Labour Government at the moment, my figures are fairly conservative!

Age 20 - 30 = 10 years @ £30/week rent = £15,600.00
Age 30 - 40 = 10 years @ £50/week rent = £26,000.00
Age 40 - 50 = 10 years @ £70/week rent = £36,400.00
Age 50 - 60 = 10 years @ £90/week rent = £46,800.00
Age 60 - 70 = 10 years @ £110/week rent = £57,200.00

TOTAL SPENT ON RENT ALONE DURING A BASIC WORKING LIFE = £182,000.00

ADD to that everything else that must, BY LAW, be paid during your working lifetime AND the basic cost of food, clothing, utilities and fuel, PLUS rearing kids, college/university fees, cars, holidays, communications and entertainment etc, AND THEN add on the festive/celebratory spending that we are all obliged to do EVERY YEAR ...
My theory is this; as long as the general working (or not, as the case may be) population can be kept content in the belief that they may win the lottery, then the masses will comply without question.

I CHALLENGE YOU TO DENY THAT MY THEORY IS RELATIVE TO PROSPERITY!

Vote for Eddie Elwood at http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk

OH GOODY

My wish is to get my poems published
And not because I want to be paid
And I will just have to persevere
Until I manage to make the grade
I will give up trying however, if I see
A book of verse written by Jade

You got it, mate,
I'm so very sad to say,
But it's only the best,
That can make this pay.

But get yourself a name,
Commit a huge act of crime,
Provoke a public outcry,
You'll sell a book of grime.

RHYME AND PUNISHMENT

I like to write an ode or rhyme
It’s a fun way to pass the time
After many years of composition
I have come to this conclusion
The hardest part of the whole process
And the least enjoyable I must confess
Unless of course you pay a mint
Is to get the bloody stuff in print

RAP TRAP

Wearing baggy pants and baseball cap
Rap Rap Rappers doing Rap Crap
Strutting on stage with tuneless rhyme
Ten a penny boys nickel and dime
Gangster rappers handgun crime
Hip Hop Hoppers new craze grime
Spitting in the mike while they strut about
This aint music there’s no doubt
Beat the drum ring the bell
Hip Hop Flop the musical hell

Never a change same old same
in vein an everyday drain on my
mind frame , I write in flame
and blood to release every piece
 of my inner self but theses are the
cards we are delt one more welt
on the heart , is it smart to take it
all in and keep livein true? , is that
just fake water down stuff or the
 real brew of the person you all
thought you knew

What ever happened to Jordan... another great mystery!

Who are the NYK writers?

Who is J W B Laing?
Who is Derum?
Who is Ronnie PC?
Who is Gill?
Who is Shona Prophett?
Who is Eddie Elwood?
Who is 'the ed'?
Who are Agnes & Senga?

This is the biggest riddle of them all!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaach, a furgoat again!!!!!!

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
VOTE FOR AGNES & SENGA

bed,
dead,
fed,
head.


lead,
read,
led,
red

They rhyme dae they no?

Bloody hell, who rattled Eddies cage the nicht!! Why thank you Senga for your kind wurds, never been called that wan afore.

here we go wae ma rhyme.

U've a twin tub washer
and a twin set and purls
U've no goat twins
and U've no goat girls.

Help ma boab! That wiz embarrassin. Still, a first time fur everythin (sizzlin cheeks)

Rhyming Stand-Off

Be it good,
Be it bad,
Be it rude,
Be it sad.


Join online,
Hone your skills,
Write in rhyme,
Of thrills and spills.

Type it out,
Type it here,
Type in doubt,
Type in fear.

Now You Know,
It's here to stay,
Words will flow,
Each and every day.

The very best,
In print will go,
As for the rest,
They're just for show.

VOTE FOR EDDIE ELWOOD AT http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

Agnes! Yer a fan-dabbie-dozie genius! I wuid ne'er hae thought o' that! Am fair astoundit by yer revelation... Dumbfoonert, even!

http://www.agnesnsenga.co.uk

Well that's easy...ah wid just ask the man who owns the fruit and veg stall, whit wiz in the boxes. Or say, gies us wan apple, 1 orange and wan aipple. Then a wid pit the label on the right boxes. Noo, dinnae tell me um no right!! :-)

Am still bogglin ower Audrey's apples an' oranges, kin onibody help me oot here?

http://www.agnesnsenga.co.uk

WHERE IS BUNNY?

An extra clue from me to you...

After I've done A, B, C and D,
I'll cross the water, for all to see.

You'll soon realise that I'm no fool,
By applying the confusing FAR CASH RULE.

For on 10th September, that's where I'll be,
Watching the big birds fly over me.

http://www.bigbadbunny.co.uk

WHERE IS BUNNY?

Backwards and forwards, this name is the same...

From here, in my ear, I can hear...

The ebb and flow of wet winter weather!

http://www.bigbadbunny.co.uk

Three boxes are labeled apples, oranges, apples and oranges. Each label is incorrect. You may select only one fruit from one box. No feeling aroung or peeking premitted.
How can you label each box correctly? Hint: fruit is not an answer.

Thanks

*
I’ve been throwing some poetry at the internet
And some of it's beginning to stick
Osmosis poetry also known as ……
a four letter word that rhymes with spit

*

Well! I do declare!
Is there someone else in there?
Paul Curtis arrived!

===========

It's amazing what one can do with only seventeen syllables!

===========

Is HAIKU the opposite of LO-BULL?
I've often wondered that;
So I thought I'd ask...

Excuse me, Sir, I cried,
And then asked my question...

But, the teacher in my writing classes,
Peering over his milk-bottle glasses,
Simply shook his head and sighed.

============

http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk
http://www.eddieelwood.co.uk

MR.WHIPPY R.I.P.

An ice cream man has been found dead
Lying on the floor beneath a shelf
Covered with hundreds and thousands
Police say he may have topped himself

WHY WHY WHY?

A girl goes to the doctor in some distress
What’s the problem or do I have to guess?
I keep singing the green, green grass of home
That sounds to me like Tom Jones syndrome
Is it very common to sing the songs of a star?
Well "it's not unusual" to tell the truth Delilah

The Big Bad Bunny is back!

===========================

The springtime is here -
But the rain on the sunshine
should flush you right out!

============================

Bunny boards have been set up at http://www.quicktopic.com/31/H/taamBXGEEbtZi

Return to - http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk
Return to - http://www.eddieelwood.co.uk
Return to - http://www.bigbadbunny.co.uk

The Riddler

Just as I wake to greet the day,
The Riddler comes to have his say,
Before my eyes can even see,
He says, "This my riddle be..."

If without light the day is night,
Why, then, can you see?
Presence of night or absence of light,
What the difference be?

Without the light, you call it dark,
When it's dark, you cannot see,
Your eyes are closed, there is no light,
How, then, can you see me?

In dark of night, with inner light,
The body sleeps through spirit's flight,
When day does break, with rising sun,
Then once again, the two are one.

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I'm the best there is,
I'm the best there'll be,
For there isn't a person,
Who can out-riddle me.

Derum, he tried it,
But failed miserably,
He sulked for months,
Whilst I danced with glee.

Many have challenged,
Many have failed,
The world's best riddler,
Eddie Elwood is hailed.

If you have what it takes,
To pit wits against mine,
I'll take on your challenge,
Be it line after line.

But don't be surprised,
Or shocked to the core,
Because once you are beaten,
I'll still look for more.

I'm the best there is,
I'm the best there can be,
There's never been a riddler,
Who out-riddled me!

Welcome to Eddie Elwood's Riddles & Rhymes section.
ALL posts here must be written in rhyme, regardless of the topic... Even arguments! May the best man (or woman) win! ;)