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Topic: Poems and Poetry
Branched from topic: Riddles & Rhymes
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NYK MediaPerson was signed in when posted  1
05-03-2005 10:01 AM ET (US)
Welcome to our Poems and Poetry section, where you are free to submit your own poems or samples of your poetry. We will be running on-going competitions with subsequent winners having their work included for publication. You are also welcome to discuss poetry writing with likeminded others and keep us up to date with your personal projects. Share it with a friend - join our online community.
Pendle Gwynne  2
05-06-2005 11:37 AM ET (US)
ODE TO A ZEBRA

A blaze of orange and a flash of black,
I think I'll fake a heart attack?

Flutter, flutter, spiral, doof,
Another zebra hits the roof!

Now for my favourite time of day,
A bowl of water, in which to play!

I'll soak my feet and splash my wings,
Do you think he backed that, 'King of Kings'?

Am hungry now, 'n' their memory needs joggin,
But please, no broccoli, cos I think it's boggin!

I'll twitter and tweet and grind my beak,
Who knows, perhaps, one day, I'll speak?

They shout at me, 'SHUT UP!' when grumpy,
But I think it's cos their custard's lumpy!

Nobody wants to read poems any more,
Unless they don't rhyme 'n' are in metaphor.

So put this in your pipe and smoke it,
Cos I'm the little bird wot wrote it!
Agnes 'n' Senga  3
05-06-2005 12:23 PM ET (US)
SPIDER IN THE CORNER
(c)Agnes 'n' Senga
 
Spied hur dain hur writin,
Spied hur ha'in hur tea,
Spied hur in the lavvy,
But she husnae yit spied me!

Am sat up in the corner,
She disnae ken am here,
Fur if she kent a'd seen hur,
She'd hae shat hursel wae fear!

Am only dain ma knittin,
Watchin oot fur aw ma weans,
An aw she's din this mornin,
Is moan o' aches an pains!

Noo she's tappin oan hur keyboard,
The ironin board's there tae,
The clais ur pile't up oan the flair,
Luiks like thur there tae stay!

http://www.agnesnsenga.co.uk
http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk
Eddie Elwood  4
05-07-2005 08:23 PM ET (US)
http://www.eddieelwood.co.uk

IN RESPONSE TO PENDLE GWYNNE

It's kind of difficult to say,
In any certain way,
What qualifies as poetry,
On any given day.

But I really must agree,
With your views on poetry,
It no longer flows or rhymes,
To any real degree.

What happened to rhythm?
What happened to rhyme?
Perhaps it was all phased out,
Over periods of time?

==========

How sad... if rhyming is the easiest way to remember, I guess poetry is becoming a forgotten art form.
NYK Media  5
05-09-2005 06:58 PM ET (US)
Our latest £50 writing competition has been officially launched, details available on our 'COMPETITIONS' link at http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/Writing/Competitions.htm

We are currently seeking sponsorship for future competitions, with sponsors benefitting from advertising within the printed edition of 'Now You Know'. anyone interested in adding to the prizefund should contact NYK Media by mailto:office@scottishmultimedia.co.uk

GET YOUR ENTRIES IN SOON! THIS COMPETITION IS OPEN TO ALL WRITERS, BUT CONDITIONS APPLY.

Back to http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk
Paul Curtis  6
05-18-2005 02:00 PM ET (US)
PIANO FOR SALE

I have a tale of woe to tell
Of my piano which I must sell
Oh what a tragic sort of tale
Which tells of my piano for sale
For it has to go so I was told
Though I don’t really want it sold

So a new owner I must find
Someone appreciative and kind
Or to the garage go it must
To become a gatherer of dust
But I can’t keep it out of sight
So I’ll bid farewell to my upright

Why must I part with my dear friend?
But part we must though in the end
Creating extra space is sort
But what makes space of such import?
What makes this move so necessary?
Is the room changed to a nursery

The time has come to do the deed
To write the add for them to read
So how to frame the perfect add
To attract the good but not the bad
Piano for sale, is how I began
Piano for sale, only used for Chopin
Paul Curtis  7
05-18-2005 02:01 PM ET (US)
TIMES UP

To my chest my
Hands I clasp
I deeply breathe
I wheeze and gasp
My temples throb
My mouth is dry
My heart beats fast
I’m going to die
My voice has gone
My throat is sore
My hands both shake
I can take no more
I lay my head
Upon my knee
Now blow the whistle
Referee
Alexander J Cuthbert  8
06-19-2005 08:06 PM ET (US)
Random Symmetry
for S

He sits in one world and I in mine,
beneath us a cheese cloth of furrowed fields
drops from view as our eyes follow
the scattering paths of gulls, disturbed
by a cause outwith the common view
we share. The random symmetry
of their leaving a counter-balance
to our static imaginings, their wings
form signs we cannot read, they sing
of a freedom we can only watch.

My partial sight, his autistic understanding,
between us we see far more and less
than those behind us on the towpath
guiding their dogs away from the water’s edge
or slowing turning the wheels of their bicycles
like windmills against a Dutch sun.

We sit in the silence of our making
attempting to think the unthinkable,
reaching across the distance of ourselves
toward the other, the stranger
whose company we always keep
yet only recognize in the echoed
reflection of friendly eyes.
derum  9
07-15-2005 09:58 PM ET (US)
things change
things move
it's strange
it's a groove
people die
people live
some lie
some give
bombs there
bombs here
you stare
you fear
it's strange
it's a groove
things change
things move
derum  10
07-23-2005 12:35 AM ET (US)
The guilty and the innocent
The hellbound and the heaven sent
They ride the train together

The pretty girl with wavy hair
The unattended luggage there
They ride the train together

The child who doesn’t understand
The sorrow that somebody planned
They ride the train together

The evil mind without a care
The horror and the despair
They ride the train together

The hope that springs eternal here
The victory over those we fear
They ride the train forever
Alexander J Cuthbert  11
08-01-2005 11:25 AM ET (US)
Edited by author 08-01-2005 11:33 AM
En manos de hombres pecadores...en los brazos de Dios


A Brazilian,
with seven holes in his head,
knows that looks can kill.

Jean Charles de Menezes,
our Josef K for the day,
he runs while we prey.

Put down like a dog,
we watch, face at the window,
his trial and our guilt.

A town black with tears,
Gonzaga is not London
but it bleeds the same.

Fear is a weapon
with a blade for a handle,
his wounds are our own.


http://www.theseerpress.com
derum  12
08-22-2005 10:53 PM ET (US)
four years now since it all got worse
four years now since osama's curse
four years now since the world changed
four years now has it seemed deranged
and in those years so many have died
and in those years so many have cried
and in those years so cruel and long
and in those years we see more wrong
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  13
08-23-2005 05:25 AM ET (US)
*
she exploded

she prayed to allah for strength that day
she read the koran as the children played
the flowers pressed into her hair
came from the garden where her father lay

her underwear conveyed her emotions
her clothes were folded to hold explosives
the charge was shaped to mould her waist
her farewell tailored into its resting place

she exploded her final proposal
as the authorities tried to approach her
she lifted her skirts to display her wares
baring her intentions she blew them away

*
derum  14
08-28-2005 01:42 AM ET (US)
70 virgins for each young man
if he follows the leader
ignores the koran
70 virgins the reason why
they chose to kill
choose to die
70 virgins must come from afar
cos there ain't that many
from Hull to Stranraer!
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  15
08-29-2005 01:14 PM ET (US)
*
tae tak’ the name o’ the lassies in vain
an’ mak’ fun o’ their morality
is fair enough if y’ve a stane fur a brain
and yer heid’s kept up wae y'r galluses

tae say there’s nae virgins atween hull ‘n stranraur
is takin’ things jist a wee bit too faur
hymen intactus micht be a foreign language
its jist a question o’ sexuality

if they’re pittin it aboot whaur’s the herm
it’s better th’n keepin’it ‘n their drawers
gies a swatch o’ yir tartan fanny
mak’ luv ! … no’ wars !

*
Ed  16
08-30-2005 09:58 AM ET (US)
What Would Change?

Unblinking, I stare through polished glass,
Watching blankly, as life passes by,
But in my mind, that's not what I see,
For out there, I have no part to play.

Every day I look out, watching birds
As they flutter in the nearby trees,
But I'm not really the one watching,
For I am a million miles away.

I am a child of eighty years old,
Playing alone in summer sunshine,
Counting the magpies, one for sorrow,
Two for joy... I am happy today.

If I could turn back time, what would change?
I am without regret, for I loved,
I lived, followed my destiny's path,
And with fond memories I now stay.

If I could turn back time, what would change?
In honesty, not a single day!

http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk
derum  17
09-01-2005 04:55 PM ET (US)
you have no idea
of the destruction here
no concept of the sorrow
for you it's just another day
for some there's no tomorrow

whole towns erased
whole cities raized
the stench of death abounds
no hope left now for many
as one city slowly drowns

from Louisianne
to Alabam
the storm was so intense
so many places cease to be
the destruction is immense
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  18
09-02-2005 01:15 PM ET (US)
*
Beslan

Child hostages held in classrooms
covered faces holding guns
wires strung across the ceiling
underneath the Beslan sun

Teachers implore with terrified eyes
their children to try hard not to cry
the pristine appearance of their assembly clothes
fading with the light of summer’s last gold

How to terrify children not to cry
you cause one or two of them to die
and as an example to all of the rest
you threaten to meet them with summary death

The children go where they are
god will love you his reach is great
government soldiers fall in behind
no concession to enemies of the state

the die is cast the dice have rolled
fate is settling the card’s been trumped
the children run from what’s behind them
into the tragedy of what’s in front

*
one year later the children know hatred
there is no god there are only soldiers
they make drawings of the gunmen in order to burn them
Brutalised by memories growing older

The children don’t fight themselves anymore
Even the little boys have become adults
Why is my brother not breathing ?
How to break the cycle of violence

I don’t know why my mother died
The terrorists said they came for revenge
Suffering children drinking urine
God kept the best of the children for himself

The hostages were told
to hand in their mobile phones
One little girl did not
the phone rang
and she was shot
The gun has grown
from what they have known
Revenge is not enough to assuage them

School number one is closed
Rock the world with tears and grief
The children died a terrorist prize
Good is strong bad is weak

*
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  19
09-23-2005 02:08 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 09-24-2005 03:33 AM

hey bobby dylan
as the ink dries on the page
now that the times have changed
we were left wondering this...

who the fuck do we get in touch with?
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  20
10-20-2005 01:42 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 10-22-2005 03:45 AM
for christ sake where has everybody gone ?
and why is the moon looking at me like that ?
Paul Curtis  21
10-24-2005 06:50 AM ET (US)
REMEMBRANCE FOR UNCLE JOHN
John Holt 1887-1916

“Your country needs you”
We heard Kitchener say to us
We took the Kings shilling
Without any fuss

Lads and Pals all marched
Crowds cheering jubilantly
Then crossed the English Channel
To halt the advancing enemy

The distant we gain in battle
Against the loss of a comrade
Is measured in inches at best
As we play out Hague’s Charade

We came as proud young men
To halt the invaders advance
Only to live and die
In the mud of western France

In the cloying mud of France
Once rich and fertile soil
No longer appears like earth
And now is as slippery as oil

The mud colours everything
Even we try and fail to stay clean
Mud has consumed the landscape
And hides the dead unseen

Trenches have become home
Trench foot and rats our companion’s
Shellfire is our music hall
Mortars and rifles our musicians

We escape the daily horror
But only within our own minds
Where we explore familiar places
Far beyond the wars confines
 
The enemy are much like us
Their thoughts take them away
To a peaceful quiet land
On a peaceful quiet day
Paul Curtis  22
10-24-2005 07:11 AM ET (US)
REMEMBRANCE FOR UNCLE JOHN
John Holt 1887-1916

“Your country needs you”
We heard Kitchener say to us
We took the Kings shilling
Without any fuss

Lads and Pals all marched
Crowds cheering jubilantly
Then crossed the English Channel
To halt the advancing enemy

The distant we gain in battle
Against the loss of a comrade
Is measured in inches at best
As we play out Hague’s Charade

We came as proud young men
To halt the invaders advance
Only to live and die
In the mud of western France

In the cloying mud of France
Once rich and fertile soil
No longer appears like earth
And now is as slippery as oil

The mud colours everything
Even we try and fail to stay clean
Mud has consumed the landscape
And hides the dead unseen

Subtle hints of another time
Some old Tree stumps remain
A jagged piece of wall sometimes
Will it ever be normal again?

Trenches have become home
Trench foot and rats our companion’s
Shellfire is our music hall
Mortars and rifles our musicians

We escape the daily horror
But only within our own minds
Where we explore familiar places
Far beyond the wars confines
 
The enemy are much like us
Their thoughts take them away
To a peaceful quiet land
On a peaceful quiet day

I sit in my muddy trench
My eyes closed to all but my wife
My sweet and beloved Tilly
The most important part of my life

Many fallen comrades lie
Where they fell upon the field
They saw no sense to fight
But still they refused to yield

After three long years
In the vile and muddy hell
I climbed out of my trench
And with my comrades fell
Paul Curtis  23
10-24-2005 07:13 AM ET (US)
FATHER

I feel his hand on my shoulder
Reassuringly
When I am unsure of myself
Or hesitant
I see him watch me sagely
When I seek enlightenment
I see him smile with pride
When I succeed
Or with head inclined to comfort
When I fail
He is with me late at night
Watching Bogey and Bacall
I see his reflection on the lake
When I am fishing
And I hear him cheering loudly
Whenever we beat Australia
His smile sustains me
His words engage me
His strength supports me
His compassion inspires me
I shared joy with him
When my children were born
And sorrow when
My mother passed away
He stood behind me
In church on my wedding day
And beside me
At the reception when we toasted
At quiet moments I detect
The fragrance of old spice
Or the acrid tell tale aroma
Of his pipe tobacco
He is with me now
As I write these words
Though he has been dead
For nearly thirty years
Paul Curtis  24
10-24-2005 07:14 AM ET (US)
UNWELCOME NEWS

At once she understood
When she heard the words
Their meaning clear
And in that instant
Her voice broke
And then in her throat
A lump formed
Behind her eyes
She felt the stinging
And a tear formed
Then rolled down her cheek
Followed by another
Then another
The salt taste was in her mouth
Her shoulders shook
Uncontrollably
And her mouth opened wide
But know sound escaped
Tears continued down her cheeks
And her nose
Then her legs buckled
And she fell to her knees
In total despair
Now the sound came
Uncontrollable
With her love lost
Her heart was broken
With her love betrayed
Her heart was discarded
But with all the weeping
She knew inside
That all her tears
Would never extinguish her love
Paul Curtis  25
10-24-2005 07:15 AM ET (US)
BENEATH AUTUMNAL SKIES

Beneath autumnal skies
The suns strength diminishes
With each passing day
Then foliage turns slowly
From green to gold
And finally to red and brown
Before fluttering to earth
The gentle late summer breezes
Make them dance
And when breeze turns to raging storm
They’re sent swirling
As if court in some frenetic snow globe
The lucky ones escape this chaos
And ends their short lives
Trapped Beneath hedgerows
Or blown into quiet corners
The rest whirl like dervishes
Hither and thither
Until the winter rains
Turn them to mush under foot
Paul Curtis  26
10-24-2005 07:29 AM ET (US)
PARTYING OR CLUBBING

Saturday night on the town
Either partying or clubbing
The object to get someone into bed
Some sights turn you on
Some just turn your stomach
While others turn your head

Long legged fillies
With a skirt so short
It’s little more than a belt
Loose gaping blouses
And breasts unrestrained
Looking like they’ve just been felt

When alcohol takes over
People are then attracted
To all that comes into view
The good looking and the fit
Say they never bed an ugly partner
But they wake up with a few

Each long slender beauty
Has a man on her arm
Or a short dumpy friend
As alcohol slowly takes its toll
It’s the short dumpy bird
Gets the bloke in the end
Paul Curtis  27
10-24-2005 07:39 AM ET (US)
Edited by author 10-24-2005 07:45 AM
SIZE DOESN’T MATTER

Gnats as big as Bats
Bats as big as Rats
Rats as big as Cats
Fleas as big as Bees
Bees that eat the Trees
Trees that eat the Cheese
Fly’s that eat pork Pies
Pies that wear bow Ties
Ties that tell you Lies
I see with eyes blinking
Things to get me thinking
God I must stop drinking
Paul Curtis  28
10-24-2005 07:45 AM ET (US)
Edited by author 10-24-2005 04:03 PM
THE PORT OF CUBAN SPRITES

The port of Cuban sprites
Is I agree
A nonsensical phase
Meaningless and just plain daft
But its is still more credible
And makes more sense
Than some judgements
Reached by
The court of human rights
Eddie Elwood  29
10-25-2005 11:04 AM ET (US)
To Stewart and Paul,
To one and all,
I wrote this poem,
In a shopping mall.

At first it was dire,
No passion, no fire,
So I started to think,
Like a hard-nosed buyer.

Getting paid to write,
That would be alright,
My only problem,
Is I write such sh*te.

So I sat on the ground,
With my last paper pound,
And hoped inspiration,
Was what I had found.

We all want paid,
Or so it was said,
But it isn't the same,
Since we lost McDade.

So I started to write,
Some more of this sh*te,
In the hope that one day,
I might get it right.

Then low and behold,
If the truth be told,
I'd doubled my money,
With a simple fold.

I called up the ed,
Who was still in her bed,
Said, listen to me...
Hungry people need fed!

"What do you mean?"
She asked, sounding mean,
"If it's money you're after,
I haven't a bean!"

No, no, my dear,
Please do not fear,
If I was a drinker,
I would ask you for beer.

Dazed and confused,
She blindly refused,
She misunderstood,
I was mildly bemused.

So, this was my suggestion...

If readers are hungry,
They will read what we write,
If they hunger for more,
Then the price should be right.

By writing our words,
All previously untold,
We print them on paper,
Then the paper we fold.

Dress it up fancy,
Give it a cover,
Fill it with dreams,
Then the costs we recover.

At the end of the day,
So the ed did say,
That's what it's about,
Here at N Y K.

Publishing is all about cost recovery: if writers have no financial costs, there is very little incentive to pursue financial recovery.
Paul Curtis  30
10-25-2005 02:33 PM ET (US)
CHELSKI

Chelsea have won another match
They beat city two goals to one
They were a goal down though
Before they got the job done
Joe Cole scored the equaliser
Shot form twenty yards or more
It took one or two deflections
On the way, well actually it was four

Then Frank Lampard struck
From well outside the box
Wrong footing the keeper
After hitting the full backs buttocks
The ball deflected past the keeper
It hit both posts and the bar
Would it go in no one could see
until it hit the head of the referee
Paul Curtis  31
10-25-2005 02:34 PM ET (US)
TO DRY GREENHOFF’S TEAR’S

1976, in May
Doc’s red army
Witnessed the young guns
Fail at Wembley
To that iffy goal
Scored by bobby stokes
When Coppell hill and co
Failed to beat McMenemy’s men
A motley crew
Of has-beens and nobody’s
The sick, the lame and the lazy
Won the day
2005, in May
The red army
Witnessed fergies men
At St Mary’s
By two goal’s to one
Relegate them
To the championship
The old division two
Almost thirty years
The saints were a thorn in United’s flesh
Finally the ghost of 76
Has been well and truly laid
derum  32
10-28-2005 07:05 PM ET (US)
sit down
sit down
if you're white
take a seat
stand up
stand up
if you're black
use your feet

but Rosa didn't want to stand on the bus
she didn't fight and she didn't cuss
she sat

thankyou Rosa for that.
Paul Curtis  33
10-29-2005 01:35 PM ET (US)
WHAT DOES IT TAKE

Does it take the fuller figure?
To help you pull your trigger
Or is it those who kiss and tell
You require to ring your bell
Or does it take a total bitch
To really flick your switch
Perhaps its nurses on the ward
That actually pulls your cord
Is it lamb that’s really mutton?
You need to push your button
Must they wear the briefest thong?
To make you bang your gong
Ought they dress in something tight?
To really light your light
Must they act all prim and proper?
To help to pull your stopper
Must they wiggle when they walk?
To make you pop your cork
The truth is, unless I miss my guess
They need only answer yes
Paul Curtis  34
10-29-2005 01:36 PM ET (US)
MISS RIGHT

I've been searching all my life
For miss right to be my wife
At last I find the one, I think
I’m wed before I’ve time to blink
Alas, regret for all my days
For her first name is always
Paul Curtis  35
10-29-2005 01:52 PM ET (US)
GIRLS WHO WEAR GLASSES

Its said “that men seldom make passes
At girls who wear glasses”
But what if the girl is wrapped within
Such soft velvet like skin
Or she is full of vitality and vigor
Or has an hourglass figure
With a pinched waist and curvaceous hips
Or moist pouting lips
Perhaps she has milky white thighs
Or maybe come to bed eyes
What if her blouse struggles to repress
Her large heaving chest?
Maybe she has a dazzling smile that wins
Or has long slender pins
Would men ask out girls who wore glasses
If they had really nice arses?
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  36
10-31-2005 01:10 PM ET (US)

*
Poor Wee Michael

His mother lies still and very quiet
He doesn’t know why she doesn’t talk
The postman’s hand so near so far
If he sends him a letter maybe he’ll come back

He’s too small to reach the lock
Why does his mother not respond
No one hears his cry at night
Its cold and dark and the heating’s off

Were the curtains open or closed
Was the power card in credit
Had the fridge melted to the floor
When sleep came what did he lie on

Surviving on pieces of fruit and crisps
and orange juice left in the fridge
the contents of which give a hint
about mother and child and care and provision

with nothing but bluebottles to keep him company
should he be worried about the smell from his mummy
why does he not want to lie beside her
why does he not want to give her a cuddle

one two three four
five six weeks alone
forty days and forty nights
left to fend left to fight

*
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  37
10-31-2005 01:12 PM ET (US)

*
to eddie elwood the poet of the mall

to the poet of the mall you’ve said it all
the best thing to rhyme with sh*te is sterling
and when it comes to football or any kind of sport
profound is the word to best describe my ignorance

a simple fold can manifest
an idea worth six figures - no less
a load a’ money a treasure chest
a concept designed to write its own cheque

but resign yourself to being poor
don’t give up your day job yet
to make any money out of writing
you need good fortune and a modicum of wit

your wit you have already displayed
in the excellent reference to origami that you made
but in the words of the blues man after the fall
if it wasn’t for bad luck I wouldn’t have no luck at all

like a whore paying to sleep with a client
we come to the subject of vanity publishers
scribbling your missives on the toilet wall
doesn’t make you blind and exercises your muscle

*
Paul Curtis  38
10-31-2005 05:48 PM ET (US)
THE TREATY

The eleventh hour
The T’s were crossed
And the I’s were dotted
The eleventh day
Books were balanced
Of the butchers tally
The eleventh month
Seeds were sown
For the Second World War
By the French at Versailles
Paul Curtis  39
10-31-2005 05:49 PM ET (US)
REMEMBER, REMEMBER

Guy Fawkes and his friends
Despite meeting sticky ends
After a treasonous endeavor
They were the only men ever
Who entered our Parliament
With real and honest intent
Paul Curtis  40
10-31-2005 05:50 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 11-01-2005 04:36 AM
THEY FELL

They fell
Like ripened corn
Cut with scythe’s stroke
In seasoned hands
They fell
Like cherry blossom
Set free
By an April breeze
They fell
Like skittles toppled
By a wooden ball
Skilfully played
They fell
Like mighty English oak
Cut in thousands
To build the mighty fleet
They fell
Proudly and unwavering
Before their enemy
Uncompromising in their duty
They fell
Like the valiant
Cut down before their time
A generation forever lost
Paul Curtis  41
11-03-2005 06:56 AM ET (US)
HAS ANYONE SEEN BERNARD?
 
I can’t remember the last time to be truthful
I heard Mr. Matthew’s say they’re “bootiful”
You never see him smiling broadly on the TV
As he express’s the virtues of bits of Turkey
It’s not even Bernard’s voice on the Turkey ads
No it’s one of those clever impressionist lads
So then what’s become of the Turkey magnate
The police don’t suspect foul play at any rate
His tones still tell us his products are the best
But Mr. Matthew’s himself now has foul pest
Bernard no longer has any hair on his head
But a bright red comb grows on there instead
A crop grows on his chin and he even has a beak
He goes “cocka doodle” if you hear him speak
He rarely goes out and that must be quite hard
Unless it’s to have a scratch in his own back yard
So now he has feathers sprouting from his belly
And that’s why we never see him on the telly
Eddie Elwood  42
11-03-2005 08:31 AM ET (US)
I'VE SEEN BERNARD!

Since 1950, with a dozen eggs in a box,
Bernard Matthews has worked off his socks.
But since the turkeys satisfied that need,
(Thirteen million is a lot, indeed)
Mr Matthews is launching his quest for speed.

'Bootiful', she's called, named after his fame,
And beating 'Endeavor'has become his new game,
Chasing the speed record off the Norfolk coast,
Whilst languishing in profits from his turkey roast,
Speedy watersports is now what Bernard likes most!

A sixty foot cataraman with carbon fibre hulls,
Two cockpits, no rudder, at sea with the gulls.
Now here is my promise, made specially for you,
You can check the facts... they're all 'bootifully' true.
But perhaps this was something, you already knew.

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
Eddie Elwood  43
11-03-2005 08:40 AM ET (US)
To Stewart Findlay

Sometimes
It rhymes
Other times
It doesn't

Mostly
It's sh*te
Other times
I'm right.

Football's a game of two halves and he who pays the piper calls the tune...

This is an example of a 'Pro Fun Ditty' :)

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
derum  44
11-05-2005 01:26 PM ET (US)
all this talking of turkeys
it's so absurd.
who were the writers?
give them the bird.
Senga  45
11-05-2005 02:32 PM ET (US)
Hey Derum...

That wan disnae rhyme right,
When ye spaik it in Scots,
An' it wisnae aw turkeys,
It wis catamarans an' yachts.

:-P
derum  46
11-05-2005 04:34 PM ET (US)
Senga,
Catamarans and yachts are fine to see
but not all of the time
and turkeys too are fine with me
but put them in poems that rhyme.....
Eddie Elwood  47
11-05-2005 04:44 PM ET (US)
What's all this fuss,
Over turkeys and boats?
Is it anything to do
With your sad lack of votes?

VOTE FOR EDDIE ELWOOD

http://www.eddieelwood.co.uk
derum  48
11-05-2005 04:52 PM ET (US)
if I had one vote to use
I would select,
yes I would choose,
with conscience clear
without regret
not a single poet here.
The Ed  49
11-05-2005 05:26 PM ET (US)
FOR DERUM

In response to your provocation,
I have interupted my vacation,
To join in this altercation.

From the story of boats,
Elwood mentioned the votes,
Through the Turkey King's abdication.

============

OK, that rhymes I think.... do I get any votes?

============

The writers' poll is live on several of the websites and has also been added to individual writers' pages. To vote for Derum, Paul or Eddie, see http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

============
derum  50
11-05-2005 06:19 PM ET (US)
For The Ed

for wannabe witers
throughout the nation
don't rhyme like the ed
and end each word with "cation"
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  51
11-06-2005 06:15 AM ET (US)
*

My head is full of last night’s bangs
And I am not alluding to sexual congress with my woman
But that useless bastard who couldn’t do the job
Whom the children in rhyme refer to as guy fawkes

*
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  52
11-06-2005 06:16 AM ET (US)
*
a’m confused a dinna ken who’s who
an’ a dinna ken wha penned whit
a’ a hear is gobbledy gobbledy gook
an’ an asterisk that stauns fur shit

bernard bumpkin wis a wee roly dumplin’
that did everythin’ tae keep the unions fae his work
an’ the wey things’re goin’ wie the bird flu an a’
its gonna be cauld xmas turkey fur bernard an’ his chums

*
Paul Curtis  53
11-08-2005 05:20 PM ET (US)
PIANO FOR SALE

I have a tale of woe to tell
Of my piano which I must sell
Oh what a tragic sort of tale
Which tells of my piano for sale
For it has to go so I was told
Though I don’t really want it sold

So a new owner I must find
Someone appreciative and kind
Or to the garage go it must
To become a gatherer of dust
But I can’t keep it out of sight
So I’ll bid farewell to my upright

Why must I part with my dear friend?
But part we must though in the end
Creating extra space is sort
But what makes space of such import?
What makes this move so necessary?
Is the room changed to a nursery

The time has come to do the deed
To write the add for them to read
So how to frame the perfect add
To attract the good but not the bad
Piano for sale, is how I began
Piano for sale, only used for Chopin
Paul Curtis  54
11-08-2005 05:21 PM ET (US)
IS IT URGENT?

I awake unwell with swollen glands
With fevered brow and sweaty hands
I shake and shiver and cough and sneeze
I sweat and flush and choke and wheeze
I mutter and mumble and grunt and groan
As I struggle downstairs to find the phone
I first call work to let them know
To the office today I will not show
And then the doctor’s line I dial
A stern voice answers in a while
 “What name”? Is the curt response?
An appointment please I say at once
Well is it urgent? She retorts
Well I’m not dying just out of sorts
You can see a doctor in three weeks time
I hope to be better by then I chime
Shall I book you an appointment then?
No if I’m not better I’ll call again.
But I'll say to you without offence
If I’m still ill in three weeks hence
I’ll eat my hat till I eat my fill
For I will never have been so ill
Paul Curtis  55
11-08-2005 05:22 PM ET (US)
IS THIS ART?

 
Martin Creed or Damien Hirst
Collins, Gormley which ones worst
A pickled sheep in formaldehyde
A light goes on and off inside
The truth about salt and paper crumpled
Painting by numbers and things untitled
A pile of bricks an unmade bed
Is this art or is art dead?
derum  56
11-08-2005 06:23 PM ET (US)
A poem about a piano
posted twice no less
it didn't make it better
i'm sorry to confess.
Paul Curtis  57
11-09-2005 10:57 AM ET (US)
IN DEFENCE OF A PIANO

Apparently I have double posted
A fact, which did not go un-noted
For this error I humbly apologize
I was unaware, I did not realize
But then the poem itself was abused
Which on this site I was unused
The criticism levelled was not relative
And tended greatly to be negative
However while trying to be funny
He missed the mark considerably
I have broad shoulders though for that
But should I respond tit for tat
Normally I do not like to be offensive
And it’s in my nature to be passive
Perhaps to get a response was the intent
Maybe that was indeed what he meant
But this may reveal an insecurity
Saying more of him than it does of me
derum  58
11-10-2005 08:52 AM ET (US)
insecure?
fiddlesticks!
shall we be men
and compare dicks?
I simply wondered
how someone could
re-post a poem
that was not very good.
Only my opinion
worthless, yes I know
so respond to this with humour
let your writing flow!
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  59
11-10-2005 01:39 PM ET (US)
*

Piano for Sale part 2

You should have thought about your eighty eighter
Before you played the Friday night creator
Piano for sale might consider exchange
A second hand fingerboard for a brand new wean

No more Polonaise
No more Polish mazurkas
But a Symphonie fantastique
Delivered in the form of your wife’s wee bundle

*
p.s.
To attract the good and not the bad
Try using one `d` instead of two when laying out the ad.

*
stewart findlayPerson was signed in when posted  60
11-10-2005 01:41 PM ET (US)
*

november

poppies gorged on the blood of the brave
The serried ranks of soldiers’ graves
Standing to attention as the bag-pipes play
the arbitary nature of the meaning of war.

A wreath of flowers for a life not lived
memories that keep those remembered within
november, november, hour day and month eleven
remember remember our deeds and just endeavours

The battle that rages on those saddened faces
eyes to the sky as the flags are raised.
The remembered faces of those faces
diminishing with each remembrance day.

Straining to find and comprehend
the meaning of war and what it all meant
november november hour day and month eleven
remember remember our deeds and just endeavours

*
Paul Curtis  61
11-10-2005 01:47 PM ET (US)
A FURTHER DEFENCE OF A PIANO

I did say it was insecurity
Perhaps it should have been immaturity
“Shall we compare dicks?”
I haven’t done that since I was six
Posting twice was not my intent
And a repeat of this I’ll try to prevent
I didn’t think the poem was a bad one
I liked it well enough when it was done
If you don’t like it that’s alright
No need to bitch and moan or start a fight
I write for my amusement
Not to provoke an argument
derum  62
11-10-2005 02:08 PM ET (US)
this verbal jousting can be fun
but my words go over your head
If you want to know whats behind it
you'd better speak to the ed.
Paul Curtis  63
11-10-2005 03:56 PM ET (US)
DERUM

Derum, sorry if I’ve caused offence
I will desist from this moment hence
I received instructions from the Ed
“Give as good as you get” is what was said
Paul Curtis  64
11-10-2005 05:12 PM ET (US)
TURN ON COUNTDOWN DEAR?

I was watching Carol and "Twice Nightly"
Countdown with Vorderman and Whitely
When I told my wife where I am housed
That when watching Carol I got Aroused
I could tell that I had let down my guard
Her instant response was to slap me hard
She slapped me unconscious how absurd
And all I did was get a seven-letter word

(For Richard who's memorial service was held today)
derum  65
11-10-2005 05:36 PM ET (US)
paul curtis, glad you got the plot
instead of fighting like old tarts
let's kick some life into this board
and liven up these old farts.
NYK MediaPerson was signed in when posted  66
11-11-2005 07:17 AM ET (US)
ODE TO THE BOYS

Dear boys,

I would just like to say,
That, as of today,
I have invited the girls,
To come here and play.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Derum and Paul,
You two can be a hoot,
But that poor Stewart Findlay,
Disnae ken whit it's aboot.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear Stewart Findlay,
These 'poems' are like a game,
LIke a literary 'stand-off',
Despite the words being lame.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dear readers,
These 'poems' are just for fun,
Please vote for their writers,
And decide who's number one.

=========================

PS: VOTING FOR THE ED IS NOT AN OPTION AS I HAVE NEVER, EVER CLAIMED TO BE POETICALLY INCLINED.

VOTE HERE >>> http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
Girls On Top - Lets Go!  67
11-11-2005 10:30 AM ET (US)
Wee Allie's playing, wee Allie's back ; Boy's yer as gid as an empty tattie sack!
Do what you want, do what you can...Poor the words make them rhyme but Ed & I will beat you hands down...Every time.
derum  68
11-11-2005 02:47 PM ET (US)
girls on top
girls underneath
girls from london
girls from leith
girls all curvy and inviting
girls good at talking
....not at writing
Gill  69
11-15-2005 04:22 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 11-15-2005 04:31 PM

GIRLS ON TOP

Derum, I got YOU once before
Yes, you know it's true
I say, 'yer rubbish wae yer rhymes'
A sorry, is long over due.

One day you ran off in a huff
You were gone for months
But honey, you see my talent
And you're the classroom dunce.

Try and get me, oh try again
I'm laughing while you strain
You know it is so pointless
The girls will ALWAYS reign.

Don't make me laugh boys....literally!!!!!!!
derum  70
11-15-2005 08:06 PM ET (US)
Ladies, ladies......
stop your bitchin'
get your arse back
in the kitchen.
Eddie Elwood  71
11-15-2005 08:16 PM ET (US)
GILL 1 DERUM 0?

Dearest Gill,
I think you jest,
For Derum still,
Thinks he's the best.

============

IT'S SHOW TIME

Daggers drawn,
Verbal show downs,
Words at dawn,
Verbs and pronouns

Gaining votes
To win some fame,
Rocking boats,
To win this game.

===========

VOTE FOR EDDIE ELWOOD - http://www.eddieelwood.co.uk
derum  72
11-16-2005 12:29 AM ET (US)
Gill Gill Gill,
still.
you haunt me
Gill Gill Gill.
still,
you try to taunt me
Gill Gill Gill.
still,
you can't defeat me
Gill Gill Gill.
still,
need Eddies help to try and beat me.
derum  73
11-16-2005 12:38 AM ET (US)
Competitive poems to read
are interesting indeed,
but as far as I can see,
the only poet here


is me.
Gill  74
11-16-2005 06:20 AM ET (US)
Edited by author 11-16-2005 06:23 AM
DERUM LUVS GILL!!


You jest, you think I need some help?
To bare my brilliant talent?
Your really are a mummies boy
Run off you naughty varmint.

My looks and genius won you o'er
Not all that long ago
Regretfully, you gave up then
For months you sat and mourned.

So give up while you can wee man
Before you will lose face
Face facts, you love me, don't deny
Move on loser in hast!

Took the bait....hook line and sinker honey :-)
Senga  75
11-16-2005 07:42 AM ET (US)
WHIT A SCUNNER!

Whit the hell's goin on here?
Dis Agnes ken aboot this?
Am away the noo tae phone hur,
Fur this she shouldnae miss!

Derum an' Gill ur gaddin aboot?
This surely cannae be true?
Who has stertit sic a tale?
A heard it doon the b'roo!

A'll need tae tell oor Erchie,
Fur he aye likes tae ken,
Who's dain whit...
And where... and when!

Dinnae gang too far, noo,
This puzzle a must crack,
Jist as shin as a tell Agnes,
An' she gits aff hur back!

Derum, ur ye mad, man?
Yur droolin efter Gill?
An here we wur thinkin',
That you were ower the hill!

If a tell oor Agnes,
That Derum's fightin fit,
She'll slap oan hur lippie,
An efter him she'll git!

A'll be richt back... efter ma phone call!
(Dis the ed ken aboot this?)

http://www.agnesnsenga.co.uk
http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
NYK MediaPerson was signed in when posted  76
11-16-2005 07:56 AM ET (US)
VOTING POLL UPDATE

The voting poll has now been updated to reflect the names of those actively participating in our poetry, riddle and rhyme boards 'show down'.

Both Stewart and Gill have both made it into our polling chart but it's still early days. Keep those votes coming and don't forget that anyone can take part online.

Also, please don't forget to add a link back to a voting page when you leave your message. The following is the main 'Now You Know' magazine page.

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
derum  77
11-16-2005 11:31 AM ET (US)
Calm down Senga, don't be concerned
it seems that Gill has still not learned
that casual conversation, fair and just,
should not be mistaken for lust
and then it became plain to see
that she had the hots for me
but in my heart, and yes its true
theres only room for Agnes, and you.
Paul Curtis  78
11-16-2005 04:21 PM ET (US)
WHAT SMALL FEET

Why do women have smaller feet?
Smaller than men, small and neat
Why are they smaller do you think?
So they can stand closer to the sink
Paul Curtis  79
11-16-2005 04:35 PM ET (US)
APPEAR EDUCATED
 
Women it is said
Pay far more attention
To their appearance
Than to their education
They don’t care about
Improving the mind
For many men are stupid
But very few are blind
Paul Curtis  80
11-16-2005 04:36 PM ET (US)
HOW ABSORBING

Sponges are females I’d say
And the reason is this way
Because they’re squeezable
And soft and compressible
Come in all sizes like as not
And retain water quite a lot
Paul Curtis  81
11-16-2005 04:37 PM ET (US)
LIGHT SOUND

Light travels faster than sound
A fact you simply cannot balk
This is why some people appear
Bright until you hear them talk
Paul Curtis  82
11-16-2005 04:38 PM ET (US)
A WORLD OF MY OWN

I live in my own little world
Yes I do I’m quite sincere
I live in my own little world
It's ok though they know me here
Paul Curtis  83
11-16-2005 04:38 PM ET (US)
THE BEST YEARS OF MY LIFE ARE BEHIND ME

I’ve just suffered my first mid life crisis
And its something I found quite profound
When I stood naked in front of the mirror
I could see my bum without turning around
Gill  84
11-17-2005 04:10 AM ET (US)
DON'T DO IT DERUM!!

Lust is what you have for me
Don’t deny it's true
Those letters, mails and *smilies*
To name but just a few.

Valentines, you remember?
The card too big to send?
The Postie nearly popped his clogs
His life was going to end!

And the texts you sent to me?
Hundreds o'er the weeks
The mmmwaahhhh's to me (that's kisses)
That gave me such red cheeks.

Derum don’t deny, please no
You'll only break my heart
Agnes will give me an earful
Don't say we have to part?

You’re so harsh you sexy beast
Text me, email please!
We’re meant to be together
But make it private at least!!!


*Sobbing into my handkerchief*
derum  85
11-17-2005 01:32 PM ET (US)
Gill,
your words are sweet,
though a little twee,
but did not originate from me
I will search
to stop this aggravation
to find out who is doing
a derum impersonation
Paul Curtis  86
11-18-2005 05:46 AM ET (US)
THE REAL TRUMPTON

There is to be yet another reality show
Including many celebrities we all know
With for example Bishop Desmond TuTu
Reg Varney and the myopic Mister Magoo
Little Ronnie Corbett and Dibble the copper
Keeper Bruce Grobelaar the shot stopper

The show will take place in a fire station
With a huge audience across the nation
It’s to be called Trumpton its been decided
And more names will no doubt be included
So I must recap the names, which is my job
Tutu, Varney, Magoo, Corbett, Dibble and Grob
Paul Curtis  87
11-18-2005 05:47 AM ET (US)
I HOPE I’M A CELBRITY WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE

This Ant and Dec as far as I can tell
Are on TV a lot and doing quite well
I don’t really watch them much you see
Because they’re not really my cup of tea
Recently they were called in the press
Something that causes me great distress
The claim that has caused such concern
“Ant and Dec are the new Eric and Ern”
Well I’m sorry but I simply must disagree
There can never be a new Eric and Ernie
They won’t even replace Cannon and Ball
Little and Large or any double acts at all
It wont ever happen no matter who tries
But they may be the new Little and Wise
Gill  88
11-19-2005 04:11 AM ET (US)
Gob smacked!!!
derum  89
11-19-2005 10:55 AM ET (US)
derum wins,
but there's no shame
just because your words
are lame
but now you know
it's plain to see
the only poet here
is me.
Gill  90
11-19-2005 01:35 PM ET (US)
nope...just dont have time to play games this weekend. Will be back on Monday.....you haven't won yet sweetie :-)
Gill  91
11-22-2005 09:23 AM ET (US)
DEAR DERUM

Dear Derum, now we know it’s true
Impersonations, another like you?
Never in a hundred years!
But, loving words are over due.

It broke my heart to hear the question
That anyone could teach ME a lesson
I’ll always win; it’s plain to see
But each day I’ll keep you guessin’

You’ll never win this game of words
I’m the best you’re so absurd!
Admit your love and my skill
Then you won’t look like a nerd.


*You know what I meant to write but I am a lady, and chose my words wisely :-)* lol Dear, dear Derum....
Agnes  92
11-22-2005 10:57 AM ET (US)
Help ma Boab!

Whit's all this hulabaloo
Wae Derum and ma pal Gill
Jist wait till ah get haud o' her
She'll get a earful, so she will!

Ah thought ah kent everythin
But naw she dinae tell
Aboot this wee man Derum
and aw their poems and hell.

It's like a daisy flower
He loves me, he disnae at'aw
Hell lassie, yer mental
Um share it's against the law!

Does Derum ken she's meerit?
Wae twa big laddies, it's true
They'd squash this wee crap poet
Leave him black and blue!

Ah tell ye Derum be careful
Bob u'll go bananas
When ah tell him of yer love fur her
Aye, OMG must tell Senga!

Oh Gill ye silly lassie
There's mare tae life than him
Get yer glasses oan hen
Yer better aff wae Jim.

(No that um tellin tales aboot Jim n'aw, but just rhymned; um rubbish at poems like.)
Senga  93
11-22-2005 03:55 PM ET (US)
HELP YER BOAB???

Haw Agnes, whit ye oan aboot?
Gill an' Derum? A hae ma doots!
A cannae see it, ne'er a kin,
Fur Gill goat fat an' Derum's thin!

Well, noo a'll git it, wait an' see,
Fur Gill, she wull be mad at me!
An' as fur Derum, michty me...
Ye think he'll pit me ower his knee?!!!

Noo then, tell me, whit's the score?
Is it jist that you want Derum more?
A think masel, it's plain tae see,
Ye huvnae a chance wance he's seen me!

PS: How is Boab? Dis he need a wee haun?
Senga  94
11-22-2005 03:56 PM ET (US)
PS - Dinae furget tae vote fur us at http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
Gill  95
11-22-2005 06:03 PM ET (US)

BARKING MAD!!

Oh Senga hen, you've done it now
How could you tell the truth
About my size, my weight, my girth
About my vast sweet tooth.
Okay I like my choccies
The odd poke of 'Soor Plumes'
But to spoil my chance with him
My grab at fading youth.

If that's not bad enough hen
It seems you want him more
The thought of you upon his knee
The man I truly adore.
How could you do it Senga
My buddy, best old friend
Okay I'm fat, but truth be told
He loves the e-mails that I send!!!! ;-)


Boab was fine last time I saw him; no doubt Agnes will be getting in touch!!!
Senga  96
11-22-2005 06:18 PM ET (US)
GILL AND BOAB??????

Quote - Boab was fine last time I saw him; no doubt Agnes will be getting in touch!!!

===========

Michtie me, whit huv ye done?
A thocht these poems wur aw in fun?
But noo ye tell us Boab's there tae?
Nae wunner Derum's kep at bay!

If a wiz you, a'd stert runnin,
Fur efter you, Agnes is gunnin,
A've telt her time an time again,
Boab's nae guid, he's aye oot playin!

But a didnae ken he'd played wae you,
Thank Goad oor Agnes hisnae a clue,
Fur if she'd kent, a ken whit she'd say,
If she hud kent, a ken whit she'd dae!

Mind yer back, lass, it's plain tae see,
Derum disnae want ye, he jist wants me,
An if am wrang, a'll admit defeat,
But if a'm richt, ye'll ken yer beat.
Gill  97
11-22-2005 06:52 PM ET (US)
Help ma boab, me'n' Boab?
Are you off your trolley?
With Derum,Jim and Bob taboot
Now wouldn't that be jolly!

I know there's loads of me to share
But then it gets confusing
With who and where and why me thinks
It would be so bemusing.

Derum is mine and not to share
Do come forth just tell me
If you don't I'll not sleep tonight
Come now Derum, don't feel guilty.

Just tell oor Senga where to go
Please say you love me still!
Before our Agnes gets mixed up
And starts sleeping with Gill!
Gill  98
11-22-2005 06:55 PM ET (US)
AND by the way vote for Gill on www.nowyouknow.co.uk

:-) LOL
Eddie Elwood  99
11-22-2005 07:23 PM ET (US)
CAT FIGHTS?

What happened to Derum?
Have you chased the poor chap?
I really don't blame him,
After reading this crap.

What happened to the poets?
What happened to the others?
Have they all gone running,
Straight back to their mothers?

You folks should behave,
You folks shoud agree,
That less of the scrapping,
Causes less misery.

Sure, I cannot write a poem,
For all, that's clear to see,
But I'm pretty good at riddles,
And a riddle this may be.
========================

The ed, she said, that poems we must write,
Riddles and rhymes, they are also alright,
But working them out, that's what it's about,
So, I'm playing to win, that's without a doubt.

Paul is quirky, Derum is daring,
Gill excels, whilst the ed is despairing,
Agnes and Senga, those two are quite good,
But the one who will win, is Eddie Elwood.

VOTE FOR EDDIE ELWOOD AT http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk !!!!!
Agnes  100
11-23-2005 04:14 AM ET (US)
A PUBIC APOLOGY!

Dinnae fret yersel dear Ed
U've sortit oot ma friends
A call fae ma pal Jessie
and it's sortit my auld friend.
 
U've screamed at oor Senga
U've fallen oot wae Gill
Ma Boab's noo goat a shiner
Ma score is now three nil.

Um sorry dearest Durum
Fur the teasing we huv done
But in your hearts of hearts
You know it was just fun.

We've dun it wans again ye see
The Ed she isnae pleased
U've chased awa dear Derum
Um doon on bended knees.

U'll have to make some new friends
Let's see now, hoos here
Paul Curtis and Stewart Findlay
Naw, the willnae play....or wull they?

Hmmm time will tell :-)
derum  101
11-23-2005 10:39 AM ET (US)
disappeared? me?
you should all be so lucky
I watch with unabated glee
at your fighting, rather plucky
and still nothing to make me whimper
your words could not produce a simper
fight over me all you will
I guess that it's your only thrill
and ladies, take me one by one
you'll be in heaven before i'm done....
Gill  102
11-23-2005 12:10 PM ET (US)

YES!! :-)

Oh My God Derum's here!
and I thought he was crumpled
With all our laughing and hee-haws
Instead he had us rumbled.
I do declare that he's no fool
Instead he's sitting watching
Waiting for our next daft move
While vying for affection.
Beware my love I must tell you
You must be told the truth
That Senga's not 'quite right'you know
You'll see she's so uncouth.
How can you tolerate Agnes
With her fags and has no teeth?
My Derum - tell the tale of love
of Gill, she is so sweet.
I cannot, will not share my love
you are my only one
take me to heaven 'n' back again
We'll have such naughty fun....
derum  103
11-23-2005 01:08 PM ET (US)
Slightly Risque...
ha ha


Senga, not quite right you say?
I think that may be true
'cos i've had her in the bedroom
and I know what she can do...
Agnes, toothless? no!
it makes it all the better
when she gives a blo. ...
Gill, you must compete,
learn a naughty trick or two
give me some excitement
tell me what you can do......
Gill  104
11-24-2005 04:47 AM ET (US)
YOU WANT TO PLAYBOY??

Alas my drooling Derum
it's true my skills are many
but for the whole wide world to see?
Alack they are not ready.
Our world of gibes and taunting
make many smile and roar
but risking my probity
I'll sound just like a who...
So using 'a priori'
I choose my words with care
and compete with tender words
I feel it's only fair.
Since Agnes and fat Senga
will 'gutter talk' with glee
Therefore I win hands down my love
They can't 'talk proper' like me!
Gill  105
11-24-2005 05:00 AM ET (US)
Hell that one is a sure thing for a vote, come on you guys vote for Gill!
http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
Senga  106
11-24-2005 06:15 AM ET (US)
PARDON MY RUDE INTERUPTION.

I'll hazard a guess,
Though I couldn't care less,
That it's I of whom one speaks?

But with my perfect grammar,
And no hint of a stammer,
I have scaled those literary peaks!

Albeit, I'll agree,
That my terrible poetry,
May lack a certain flair.

Just to set the record straight,
Derum has never been my date,
But I believe that the ed's been there!

VOTE FOR AGNES & SENGA - http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
Cyberdosh.com  107
11-27-2005 08:38 PM ET (US)
Poetry wars?

I cannot write in rhyme,
But I will try it this one time,
To invite you all to stop,
For a quick look at my shop.

It's Cyberdosh, you see,
Where we're all meant to be,
I read it only yesterday,
In Edition 12 of NYK.

It's at http://uk.ebid.net/stores/Cyberdosh
Gill  108
11-28-2005 11:04 AM ET (US)
Edited by author 11-28-2005 11:10 AM
LOVE IS...

It's seems to me, unfortunately
Some do not get my humour
from Stirling, Europe or Italy
Don't you think it's peculiar?
Why would I send my love to him
In such an blatant way?
Since people know me more than this
My love would never stray.
But Derum is an easy catch
He likes to be adored
While I am laughing (he-haw he-haw)
He poetry gets me bored!
So have no fear, it is a game
To see who is the best
With rhyming words and taunting
My love is JUST IN JEST!!!
derum  109
11-28-2005 12:40 PM ET (US)
Just in jest you say, dear Gill
yet why do you get such a thrill
when you see my words on here?

Yes you know you cannot hide
what you feel, deep inside
is it your feelings you fear?

Enough of this silly talk
it's time for you to walk the walk
put your words upon this page!

I know that you can't compete
your words are like a dead end street
when derum takes the stage....
derum  110
11-28-2005 12:43 PM ET (US)
as for the Ed.
oh Senga dear,
there's nothing there
(I think she's queer)
though we did once sit and share
discussions about her underwear.
Senga  111
11-28-2005 01:18 PM ET (US)
To Gill

My dearest Gill,
It's such a thrill,
To learn you are still here.

I asked dear ed,
What Derum said,
She made it perfectly clear.

Derum's all talk,
Not even full Jock,
And never gets into top gear.

He always tries,
And never lies,
But the ed, he never got near.

So there ye go,
Bit of a blow,
Nae gossip, again, this year.

PS - An whit dae ye mean by 'Fat Senga'????
Senga  112
11-28-2005 01:25 PM ET (US)
DERUM

With stage talk,
This boat will rock,
When Gill digs in her oar.

Playwriting,
And word fighting,
She will be back for more.

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
derum  113
11-28-2005 02:51 PM ET (US)
once in every little while
I read something on here that makes me smile
it could be Senga's stunning wit
or Agnes' poetic charm
even Eddies words are sometimes fun
and the Ed. means no harm.
Paul and Stewart contribute
sometimes with good effect
but Girls on Top posted once
and ended up just wrecked.
And then there's Gill.
what can one say?
she's just a tease
who likes to play.
NYKMedia1@aol.com  114
11-28-2005 04:57 PM ET (US)
From the Ed.

I read these many submissions,
From copies sent direct,
I have the ultimate choice,
Whether to accept or reject.
No names do they show,
So I would never know,
From whom these poems are sent,
Until I visit the messageboards,
To acknowledge by consent.
But after months of reading,
Growing accustomed to each style,
I am proud of all the writers,
Who have made somebody smile.
I pride myself on knowing,
Whose words I read each time,
For style is what you all have,
Whether with or without rhyme.

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
Gill  115
11-28-2005 05:44 PM ET (US)
SWEET DERUM


A tease? Moi? You think? Oh my
Since I place you on a pedestal so high!
I don't want to quarrel, or even to fight
Just ponder your phrenology, well into the night.

Now rhyming is not my 'thing' as the Ed knows
So a treat is now for you, a sight to behold
have a look at Gill's keen words, may even be tres light
Remember my Scriever friends, they are all copyright!


http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
derum  116
11-28-2005 05:49 PM ET (US)
to paraphrase...

Gill, you are a poet
and we didn't even know it......
derum  117
11-28-2005 05:52 PM ET (US)
Ed,

it's easy to guess
who wrote what
theirs is a mess
mine hits the spot.
Gill  118
11-28-2005 05:52 PM ET (US)
The Metro

Hoo many poor stupit papers and magazines
Like the ‘Metro’ in buses and train stations
Wull be forgettle of pomes, by the Scriever?
Wull they no be in body bags afore they ken it?
A wull gie ye forever
When nothing’ will be left o’ these days
And posh folk will be blithe tae live wae the poor
Gettin’ charity when they used tae gie enough ruise
Lassies wae their flooers no opened and wifies reading the pomes
Aye, they’ll like aw the crack that’s telt
Then yowl aboot no livin’ in those times
Tae huv seen ye and aw their tail-toddle ainly glore
So wull ye flee above those common rude folk
And ma everlasting song wull survive?
Gill K Bastock © 2004
Agnes  119
11-28-2005 06:06 PM ET (US)

Clearasil Tae the Rescue!!

Aw pet, huv ye goat acne? Here, and ah thought ye were such a bonnie laddie tae!
By the way, dinnae paraphrase Gill! Wur ye no meanin she's a paragon?? That's more like it :-)
Och it's too late fur me tae write a poem, rhymin or no!!

Sweet Dreams Derum xxx
Ed  120
11-29-2005 08:32 AM ET (US)
Paragon?
Paraphrase?
Phrenology?
I've got your game!

Palindrome,
Paradigm,
Philology
It's all in the name.

No matter what way I look at it... you all need your heads examined and we need to move on from the letter 'p' in the dictionary! :-D

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
Ed  121
11-29-2005 08:37 AM ET (US)
To all you poets

How many of you have submitted entries to the Wigtown Poetry Competition?

With £5000 at stake, it's surely worthy of a few entries from folks like yourselves?

Online entries accepted at http://wigtown-booktown.co.uk/poetrycomp/index.asp

Or back to http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
derum  122
11-29-2005 10:28 AM ET (US)
Susan,
pick any of my submissions, they are all worth at least that amount.
Unlike the rest of the dross.
;)
Susan (Ed)  123
11-29-2005 10:32 AM ET (US)
Derum,

Don't sell yourself short...
Your words are priceless!
derum  124
11-29-2005 10:57 AM ET (US)
why does Gill want to feel my lumps?
derum  125
11-29-2005 03:25 PM ET (US)
po·em ( P ) Pronunciation Key (pm)
n.
A verbal composition designed to convey experiences, ideas, or emotions in a vivid and imaginative way, characterized by the use of language chosen for its sound and suggestive power and by the use of literary techniques such as meter, metaphor, and rhyme.
A composition in verse rather than in prose.
A literary composition written with an intensity or beauty of language more characteristic of poetry than of prose.
A creation, object, or experience having beauty suggestive of poetry.
derum  126
11-29-2005 03:26 PM ET (US)
po·et·ry ( P ) Pronunciation Key (p-tr)
n.
The art or work of a poet.

Poems regarded as forming a division of literature.
The poetic works of a given author, group, nation, or kind.
A piece of literature written in meter; verse.
Prose that resembles a poem in some respect, as in form or sound.
The essence or characteristic quality of a poem.
A quality that suggests poetry, as in grace, beauty, or harmony: the poetry of the dancer's movements.
Gill  127
11-29-2005 04:00 PM ET (US)
poetry in motion Derum....I just wish I could read my dictionary as beautifully as you do!
*sigh*
Unfortunately your poetry reads more like a Pantomime. Pants to you sweetie:-P An Americanism is it not?
Okay Ed, no more P's but can we use our Q's?
I don't want to feel your lumps Derum but I think Agnes does.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Oh happy days, guess who got another commission today? Sweat, blood and tears are on the horizon :(
Susan (Ed)  128
11-29-2005 04:18 PM ET (US)
Re: "Oh happy days, guess who got another commission today? Sweat, blood and tears are on the horizon :( "

Why the sad face?

Click here to go back to http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
derum  129
11-29-2005 04:37 PM ET (US)
Use our Q's??

Queen quelled quentins quest
quickly questioning quadrilles
quisquilious quotidian querulist
quidam querimonious quills.
Susan (Ed)  130
11-29-2005 04:47 PM ET (US)
Que?
Paul Curtis  131
11-29-2005 05:08 PM ET (US)
HOOK

There is something puzzling me
As it doesn’t say in the book
Before his hand was taken
What did they call captain hook

It’s a difficult one to answer
Maybe he was evil captain fist
Or was he called captain two hands
Not really a very menacing list

And was it simply irony, mere chance
Or was his accident planned
For if not for the crocodile
He would have remained a deck hand
Paul Curtis  132
11-29-2005 05:11 PM ET (US)
OH NO HE ISN’T

My great uncle John was an actor on the stage
Who was best known as a pantomime dame
Famous for his ugly sister and widow twanky
But not anymore which is a great shame

He has gone to that great pantomime in the sky
No longer will he don grease paint and his regalia
I will still see him though from time to time
Because he’s not dead he’s just working for Ryan air
Paul Curtis  133
11-29-2005 05:14 PM ET (US)
NOSTALGIA AINT WHAT IT USED TO BE

We all think that when we were young the sun shone
23 hours a day
Not altogether true
But things always look better looking back
For example we didn’t have to endure
TV ads for sanitary products and pantie liners
Thrush medicine or hemorrhoid cream
We only had the three TV channels which was enough
And there was no such thing as daytime telly
And the network shut down at 10.30
So we knew when to go to bed
The soap of the day was Peyton Place
For the kids Noggin the Nog
Mr. Pastry or the Wombles
Captain Pugwash with seaman stains
And Roger the cabin boy
Comedy like Sykes, the good life
And Morecambe and Wise
Sid and Hattie in the carry ons
Grass hopper in kung fu
Land of the giants, Blake’s seven and Dr who
You could still watch sport on terrestrial
With Grandstand on the Beeb
And on ITV, Dickie Davis on world of sport
In the music world the Rolling Stones
Were closer to puberty than senility
The first record I bought was good news week
By Hedgehoppers Anonymous
You could buy LP’s, singles and audio cassettes
Even 8 track though not very long lived
Petrol was only five bob a gallon
While beer was just 10p a pint
Penny chews and sweets in a jar
Treats, opal fruits and spangles
Oh for the time when gay still meant happy
And everyone wore a ticka ticka Timex
When we all wanted to be in love
Like Celia Johnson and Trevor Howard in “brief encounter”
Or be suave and debonair just like Fred astair
And dance with panache and savoir fare
When Bette said “Gerry lets not ask for the moon we already have the stars”
Its not that I’m a cup half empty kind of guy
But things do look better looking back
Paul Curtis  134
11-29-2005 05:15 PM ET (US)


CROMWELLIAN (CLERIHEW)

The lord protector Oliver Cromwell
Killed thousands, the truth to tell
Beheaded the king and closed hostelries
And he cancelled the Christmas festivities

HOW OLD? (CLERIHEW)

“How old are you next birthday dad?”
“I will be forty eight” I told the lad
“Do you have liver spots?” “No I don’t Ben”
“Have you had your midlife crisis then?”
NYKMedia1@aol.com  135
11-29-2005 05:16 PM ET (US)
I recognise that writing... Paul's back!
Am I right or wrong?
derum  136
11-29-2005 05:24 PM ET (US)
lucky guess.
Paul Curtis  137
11-29-2005 05:41 PM ET (US)
There's no need to sound so happy about it.
Paul Curtis  138
11-29-2005 05:47 PM ET (US)
HEY WAYNE

Bimbette, an unmarried mother
Went to claim benefit
And in front of a case manager
She was asked to sit
He asked her
“How many children do you have then?”
After a few moments
Bimbette finally replied “Ten”
Horrified and thinking this was
“One of those” claims
"Ten?" Said the case manager
"What are their names?"
Bimbette replied impatiently
“They’re all called Wayne”
“They’re all called Wayne?
Isn’t that a bit of a pain?
"Naah" she said
"If they’re out playing in the street
“I just shout, “Come in Wayne”
and it works a treat”
“It works at bed time
and when its time for dinner”
“But what if”
asked the manager in a perturbed manner
"You want to speak to one boy individually?"
He said
"That’s easy," she replied
"I use their surnames instead"
Gill  139
11-29-2005 06:07 PM ET (US)
Well hello Paul
nice to see
a playmate for Derum
that's all we need!!

Here we go, here we go, here we go......(singing by the way) The lassies have put their war paint on, let the dance begin!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'm happy really but I just have 3 months to write the play. Not long, you know how slow I type!
derum  140
12-05-2005 04:57 PM ET (US)
write early!
avoid the christmas rush!





it's like pulling teeth................
Susan (Ed)  141
12-07-2005 11:30 AM ET (US)
It's rather plain to see that there's nobody here except you and me...

Gill's writing another play,
Don't know what it's about,
I'm sure she'll tell us one day,
Of that, I have no doubt.

Roving Ronnie has gone,
Wandered right off the page,
Jordan, he never got on,
He's probably writing of 'Rage'.

An' whit about our Jim?
Never seen nor heard of here,
But with his eyes so dim,
His apology's sincere.

Shona Prophett, is she yet?
Perhaps, but she's no poet,
She'd rather keep a winning bet,
Than let us here all know it.

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
Paul Curtis  142
12-08-2005 01:08 PM ET (US)
You are not alone really.

Just dont have time to play at the moment.
Too much work.
But I will be back as soon as I can.


MY JOB’S WORSE THAN PRISON

When you’re in prison
         You’re in a cell twenty three hours a day
But if you’re at work
         You’re trapped in a cubicle to earn your pay
When you’re in prison
         For being good you get time off I’m assured
But if you’re at work
         And you’re good more work is your reward
When you’re in prison
         You’re given three square meals a day
But if you’re at work
         Even if you get lunch you have to pay
When you’re in prison
         The wardens are often mean in the nick
But if you’re at work
         It’s the managers who are equally sadistic
When you’re in prison
         You get privacy with a toilet all to yourself
But if you’re at work
         You have to share with every bugger else
When you’re in prison
         Guard lock and unlock all the doors for you
But if you’re at work
         Your never alone as cameras have you in view
When you’re in prison
         You can watch TV or play games if you care
But if you’re at work
         You can get the sack for just playing solitaire
When you’re in prison
         They let your family come and visit regularly
But if you’re at work
         You can’t even telephone to friends or family
Gill  143
12-09-2005 05:54 AM ET (US)
Edited by author 12-09-2005 05:55 AM
GOLF GENIUS...

Okay 2 minutes just to say
Yes another play
Of gowf and baws and fun 'n' at
It's winning that's the game.

It's called 'Golf Genius' now you know
of clubs and being smart
Will Stirling win, of course they will
If not, it's taking part.

But take time out to see the play
Then you'll soon find out
The game they play tiz not on the green
'Genius' is what it's about.
          ~~~~~~~~
The Smith Museum Stirling. 30th, 31st March, 1st April (matinee and evening) 2.30pm matinee and all evenings 7.30pm
Tickets £8.50 including wine, lite bites and a great night out!
Senga  144
12-09-2005 06:41 AM ET (US)
Tae Gill,

Yur writin'a play aboot gowf?
Dae ye ken much about it?
Wae the sterter in thon wee howf,
An blokes, thur strokes gittin countit.


Noo Susan, she kens aboot gowf,
It's aw baws, tees an drivin,
She didnae jist sit in hur howf,
Fur handicap she wiz strivin!

Now You Know!

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
Gill  145
12-13-2005 03:41 AM ET (US)
By the way, it's now is called 'Golfing Genius'! Definately, Golfing Genius.
derum  146
12-16-2005 03:43 PM ET (US)
ipod!

It wakes me every morning
in sync with the clock
on my bedside table
in it's little dock.
I drive with it beside me
transmitting to my tuner
no matter where my journey leads
I seem to get there sooner.
My office bare without it
I had to buy more gear
so on my desk a speaker set
so that the world can hear.
Attached to my arm each afternoon
when I am in the gym
the workouts go so quickly
helping me keep slim.
And almost every evening
at home through stereo
I listen to my music
where does the evening go?
My little white companion
with me day and night
my mp3 best buddy
this love just feels so right.
Paul Curtis  147
12-17-2005 04:49 PM ET (US)
At last i have some time to spare
No more work until the New Year
Its nearly Christmas so beware
The weather's bitter so have a care
Peace and goodwill and never fear
A wish for one and all for the coming year
Paul Curtis  148
12-17-2005 04:50 PM ET (US)
IT’S CHRISTMAS

People have been discovering
On a Christmas Morning
That the curse of Christmas
That’s causing the most fuss
Has been unanimously concluded
To be “Batteries not included”
Paul Curtis  149
12-17-2005 04:51 PM ET (US)
VICTORIOUS CHRISTMAS PIE

In the nineteenth century
At Christmas time
The old queen, Victoria
Gave, to her senior staff
And closest friends
A specially commissioned
Victorian Christmas pie
An extraordinary example
Of culinary magnificence
The pie consisted firstly
Of a woodcock
Small and plump
Which, was then stuffed inside
A well hung and gamey pheasant
Which in its turn
Was stuffed inside
A fat corn fed chicken
As if this was not enough
The chicken itself was then
Stuffed into a huge Turkey
Until Finally
The great weight of fowl
Was placed upon a dish
Surrounded by special stuffing
And baked beneath
The richest pastry crust
Paul Curtis  150
12-17-2005 04:52 PM ET (US)
HAPPY STRESSLESS

A good friend of mine
Does his Christmas shopping
In less than two hours
With decs for party popping
And Gifts for twenty five
Friends and family
All on Christmas Eve
Including a six foot tree
Paul Curtis  151
12-17-2005 04:53 PM ET (US)
WHO’S THE NEW GUY?

A tenth reindeer flew in Santa’s team
One unknown pulling Santa’s sleigh
We know the names of nine of them
Including Rudolf leading the way
So who was the mystery number ten?
Twas Rudolf the brown nosed reindeer
Flew behind his red nosed brother
But he couldn’t stop as quick I fear
Paul Curtis  152
12-17-2005 04:53 PM ET (US)
HAPPY CHRISTMAS AUNTIE PEGGY

For Christmas I bought my Auntie
A brand new wooden leg
I didn’t have it specially made
No I just got it off the peg
You may say it’s not a nice gift
Or even that it’s a killer
It wasn’t her main present though
It was just a stocking filler
Paul Curtis  153
12-17-2005 04:54 PM ET (US)
MARTIN LUTHER BLING

There is a legend suggesting that Martin Luther
Who was a sixteenth century religious reformer
And founder of the Protestant church in Germany
Was the first to put candles onto a Christmas tree
It’s said he was walking home one winter’s night
When he noticed the stars were shinning bright
And through the tree’s he saw the twinkling light
And he was so impressed by this majestic sight
When he returned home he set up his Christmas tree
Decorating it with lighted candles for all to see
NYK MediaPerson was signed in when posted  154
12-17-2005 06:34 PM ET (US)
Don't forget to vote at http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
The system is set to monitor voting patterns, so multiple votes from the same IP address are usually discared automatically.
Paul Curtis  155
12-21-2005 06:00 PM ET (US)
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS

Well I only got a sweater for Christmas
Not the best thing to get for a dreamer
Because I got a sweater for Christmas
When I wanted a moaner or a screamer
Paul Curtis  156
12-21-2005 06:07 PM ET (US)
JOSHUA, JOSHUA

“God with us,” or Emmanuel
“A savior”
In Hebrew called Joshua
In Greek the name was Jesus
“The chosen one”
In Hebrew called Messiah
In Greek named Christ
Jesus Christ
The Son of god
A Jew Born in the Roman Empire
Given by God to the world
For two thousand years
Not known by a Latin name
But known by all by his name in Greek
Paul Curtis  157
12-21-2005 06:11 PM ET (US)
CROMWELLIAN (CLERIHEW)

The lord protector Oliver Cromwell
Killed thousands, the truth to tell
Beheaded the king and closed hostelries
And he cancelled the Christmas festivities
Paul Curtis  158
12-21-2005 06:12 PM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS FAYRE

There has never been a good time to be poor
Certainly not Christmas
As Dickens wrote
“This time when want is keenly felt by the poor”
And there has never been a good place to be poor
Certainly not Victorian London
Now a wealthy Victorian family
Would dine upon a Christmas dinner
Of Vegetable soup
Oyster patties,
Roast turkey or goose,
Boiled leg of mutton with caper sauce
Followed by Port wine jelly,
Mince pies and plum pudding
Queen Victoria is known to have eaten roast swan
While in the country
A piece of Smoked bacon
Or rabbit pie was had
The poor in town or country
Dined upon what ever could be found
derum  159
12-23-2005 11:38 AM ET (US)
Edited by author 12-23-2005 11:42 AM
as I sit by my pool, where it's 80 degrees
and the sun glows so warm, with hardly a breeze
I think of britain, and wish you all well
as you shiver and freeze
in your icy hell.

merry christmas!
derum  160
12-28-2005 06:03 PM ET (US)
A new new year
another chance
to be heartbroken
or to find romance
a time of hope
for some, despair
a care free time
or a time to care
new beginnings
or end the old
a heart enlightened
or one grown cold
so many choices
for him and her
but i hope we all
have a happy new year.
Paul Curtis  161
01-02-2006 04:56 PM ET (US)
HARBINGER OF YULE

The advent calendars
Are first to appear
Heralding the headlong rush
Toward Christmas cheer
On trees baubles reflect
Flickers of candle light
From Novembers end
Right up to twelfth night
derum  162
01-03-2006 12:42 AM ET (US)
A lonely seat in empty stands
A broken man, head in hands
A single tear comes to his eye
He sits and watches his club die

His spirit longs to be a part
Of new beginnings, brand new start
His soul yearning for relief
From this utter, constant grief

But still he sits for every game
The board and manager share his shame
But they won’t leave, and he must stay
For with this club, that is the way

But through the gloom one thing is sure
For a love supreme, there is no cure
One day, again, he will be proud
“Ha’way the lads” will ring out loud.
derum  163
01-03-2006 12:43 AM ET (US)
Cold and windy, Cloudy sky,
City streets passing by
First meeting, nerves and fear
Too late now, the venues near
And then you see her, From afar
Catch your breath, Catch a star
Breakfast table, Busy place
Enchanting eyes, Perfect face
Time goes quickly, you sit and talk
Conversation, worth the walk.
Time to leave, meeting done
Heading south, back to the sun
A brief encounter, a thought to store
A question asked, will there be more?
Paul Curtis  164
01-09-2006 04:37 PM ET (US)
DARWINS DESIGN

There is, today, a fierce debate
Well in America at any rate
Darwinism is again causing friction
Some claim his work to be a fiction
And his “Origin of the Species”
Is likened to a pile of fetid faeces
Fossil evidence has caused the strife
Showing Random explosions of life
Evolution was not a gradual change
Thoughts we now must rearrange
Its not at all as Charles Darwin said
But Intelligent Design instead
Paul Curtis  165
01-09-2006 04:54 PM ET (US)
FAREWELL CHARLES

Well they finally got rid of Kennedy
Who likes to drink quite liberally
I’m not sure that it’s fair or right
He didn’t start drinking over night
They knew what they were getting
A man familiar with whistle wetting
What seems to me to be Nonsense
From the party with a conscience
For a liberal party not withstanding
Isn’t the least bit understanding
I wonder now about the motivation
Hounding him out before the nation
It wasn’t his reputation as a Binger
He had to go because he was Ginger
Paul Curtis  166
01-13-2006 10:27 AM ET (US)
WHAT DO YOU WANT BUD?

I saw a Buddhist monk today
At a hot dog stand
The cook stood at the griddle
Doing his thing
“What can I make you” was his
Gruff demand
The monk replied, “ Make one
With everything”
Paul Curtis  167
01-13-2006 10:35 AM ET (US)
SAVIORS

When soldiers stand neath flags unfurled
Before going to war to do the biz
Be sure before they’re sent to save the world
They re happy with the world the way it is
Paul Curtis  168
01-15-2006 05:23 AM ET (US)
A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS

Now once more
The year has turned
The advent candle
Long since burned
Hearts darken
As we count the cost
And the season’s spirit
Is all now lost
But it need not
All be dark and gloom
Light can again
Illuminate the room
So here is a philosophy
For all of us
God is for life
Not just for Christmas
hi  169
01-15-2006 05:56 PM ET (US)
HI
NYKMedia1@aol.com  170
01-15-2006 05:59 PM ET (US)
Hi
stewart findlay  171
01-16-2006 03:50 AM ET (US)
*
Hi yursel'

*


>From: QT - NYKMedia1@aol.com <qtopic+31-2MkvFZiNRPC@quicktopic.com>
>Reply-To: QT topic 31-2MkvFZiNRPC <qtopic+31-2MkvFZiNRPC@quicktopic.com>
>To: QT topic subscribers <qtopic+subs@quicktopic.com>
>Subject: Poems and Poetry
>Date: 15 Jan 2006 14:59:36 -0800
>

_________________________________________________________________ The new MSN Search Toolbar now includes Desktop search!
http://toolbar.msn.co.uk/
< replied-to message removed by QT >
Paul Curtis  172
01-25-2006 04:32 PM ET (US)
FEAR NOT

There are many
Phobias and fears
Causing consternation
Jitters or tears
Like agoraphobia
Fear of open spaces
Parks and fields
And public places
They are by definition
Irrational by nature
Fear of things
Causing discomfiture
Angora phobia is
If I know no better
The irrational fear
Of a Mohair sweater
Paul Curtis  173
01-25-2006 04:33 PM ET (US)
BEST OF A DECADE

The soundtrack of the sixties
Was by Lennon and McCartney
But it was little Georgie Best
Who did the choreography
Alan King  174
02-07-2006 11:38 AM ET (US)
I have a chapbook "Transfer," which is collection of 20 poems. If you're interested and want to check out some sample poems, please check out my website (http://myspace.com/alanking81). You can also purchase a copy of the chapbook through pay pal.
Paul Curtis  175
03-13-2006 08:06 AM ET (US)
FROM THE SHADOWS

I stood in the shadows
As I had often done before
Out of sight, to see yet be unseen
To look upon that vision of loveliness
She talks with friends in the gardens
Unaware of me
Her skirt was long and green
From high waste to ankle low
Her crisp blouse of white
Enhanced to elegance of her neck
The long sleeves encasing her slender arms
Covered her fine boned wrists
Her hair was red
Red like burnished copper
Thick and full bodied tied back at her nape
Her eyes were the hue of polished emeralds
In a setting of perfect pale skin
No jeweller could ever hope to equal
Her mouth pale lipped, strong yet sensitive
When transformed into a smile
Illuminated her countenance
As if a light had been switched on
Perusal of every inch of her delicate frame
Returned echoes of a cultured creature
Dressed in the finest Edwardian elegance
More than a class above me
I step from the shadows
Returning unseen to my duties
Paul Curtis  176
03-26-2006 04:31 AM ET (US)
ACROSS THE VOID

From a highly sophisticated civilization
Far in advance of our own
They crossed the great void of space
To make patterns in the fields we’ve sown
If that is their idea of fun
They must be the dullest aliens ever known
Paul Curtis  177
03-30-2006 03:46 PM ET (US)
LOVE AT A STROKE

I saw her across the room
A vision of beauty to the beholder
I was struck, instantly
By her loveliness, by her elegance
The way she held herself
I was spellbound by the image
I was physically altered by her
Was this love at first sight?
Or mere infatuation
She was really lovely
And I doubtless felt something
What I saw was a rare beauty
A precious thing
Like a work of art
Treasured on a gallery wall
A painting seen from a distance
But what I felt wasn’t love
Not from the first sight of her
Desire yes, feelings of passion also yes
Want and need certainly
But real depth of love no
This comes later
After closer study
Examining the canvas
Every nuance, every brushstroke
Form, colour, composition, perspectives
Seeing beneath the beautiful façade
To find beneath the painted layers
To where true beauty resides
Only after this patient study
Can you find true depth of feeling
And claim to be in love
M Francis  178
04-28-2006 06:13 PM ET (US)
I CRY

A TEAR FINDS ITS WAY TO THE DEEPEST PART OF MY SOUL
BUT IT WILL NEVER FIND THE WAY TO MY EYE
IM TO PROUD TO BE EMOTIONAL
SO ITS THE INSIDE THAT I CRY MY TEARS
I FEEL I COULD DROWN THE WORLD
SO INTEAD THEY ARE DROWNING ME
ITS TWICE AS TOUGH TO BE DROWNED INSIDE
BUT AT LEAST NO ONE CAN SEE
THE TEARS THAT HAVE FOUND THEIR WAY
ARE NOW AN OCEAN
I SAIL ALONE FOREVER
MY EYE IS NOT A ROUTE FOR THE OCEAN TO ESCAPE
NOT NOW, NOT EVER.
aljea  179
06-30-2006 03:23 PM ET (US)
Paul Curtis  180
07-07-2006 09:11 AM ET (US)
NICE ONE HENRY

FIFA are on a mission
Racism in the game they want to defeat
An admirable ambition indeed
But first they need to stamp out cheats
Its spread from normal quarters
To Thierry Henry who to his disgrace
After a shoulder to the chest
Went down holding his face
Paul Curtis  181
07-10-2006 04:04 AM ET (US)
CHARLES THE MARTYR

Charles the first of England
Walked through the snow
Wrapped up against the chill
So no shake would show
Parliament chose to kill
The rightful king of the land
An outrageous act at Whitehall
Perpetrated by the puritans
An axe man on the scaffold
Executing him matter of fact
The cold January snow
Almost purifying the act
A dignified monarch
Unwavering in his belief
His daughter Princess Elizabeth
Broken hearted died of grief
Paul Curtis  182
07-10-2006 08:38 AM ET (US)
ZZ TOP

Zidane in Germany in 2006
Was given the golden ball
Voted the tournaments best player
The most outstanding of them all
A great reward for his foul conduct
Viciously head butting a rival
And before a global audience
Sent off in the world cup final
Was this the act of a great player?
Or of a thug that the world abhors
Was his behavior out of character?
Or has he now shown his true colors
Paul Curtis  183
07-10-2006 09:15 AM ET (US)
AUTOMATIC PHOBIA

My wife has a phobia of automation
She doesn’t trust things robotic
At the hospital she wont use
Sliding doors because their automatic
We have to walk round the back
Circumnavigating the complex
To find a door we have to open
To accommodate her own complex
Then up sixteen flights of stairs
For she doesn’t like the elevators
Nor does she like travelators
And she doesn’t do the escalators
Up and up the stairs we go
No wonder my heart rate is so high
No wonder my pulse is racing
Why must hospital reach up to the sky?
I’m out of breath and tiring
Is it any wonder I’m in a state?
Because she’s a technophobe
I’m a heart attack candidate
 
Messages 184-187 deleted by topic administrator between 07-21-2006 03:44 PM and 07-21-2006 02:19 PM
NYK MediaPerson was signed in when posted  188
07-21-2006 03:42 PM ET (US)
Christal, Emma, Blake... A HIKE YOU MUST TAKE!


I am sick of reading all this nonsense and sick of people abusing free services such as those provided for the enjoyment of our readers. From now on, ALL spam and unsolicited efforts at free advertising will be deleted.
NYK MediaPerson was signed in when posted  189
07-21-2006 03:57 PM ET (US)
SAVE TORRENT!

Here's a little story,
About someone I know,
Who bought themself a racehorse,
And then they let it go.

Old "Torrent" could be pretty fast,
Old "Torrent" could be slow,
But when it comes to winning cash,
He could still steal the show!

For less than thirty quid,
He stands alone for sale,
Would anyone like to buy him,
Then tell us all the tale?

He's only got til Autumn,
This is his final year,
Then what of poor old "Torrent"?
This is my biggest fear!!

If you would like to help this horse, and have a little fun,
Simply click my link to buy a share, and you'll can watch him run!

SUPPORT TORRENT HERE - http://racehorse.at/nykmedia?DURL=http://w...?horsenameselect=29
   190
07-21-2006 11:42 PM ET (US)
Deleted by topic administrator 07-22-2006 09:30 AM
TONY BUTCAVAGEPerson was signed in when posted  191
10-15-2006 06:45 PM ET (US)
Deleted by author 10-29-2006 12:32 PM
Tosha Hattendorf  192
11-15-2006 03:44 PM ET (US)
Pray For All
Pray for all

Pray for day!
Pray for night!
Pray for the sun to shine bright.
Pray for loveones far and near.
Pray for the ones that you hold dear.
Pray for the ones that need it and,know it.
Pray for those who need it but,don't show it.
Copyright ©2006 Tosha Sue Hattendorf
me  193
11-24-2006 03:00 PM ET (US)
wow you guys are "good" i wish i could suck as much as you
you  194
11-24-2006 03:03 PM ET (US)
fags
backstreetdreamer.  195
12-04-2006 02:52 AM ET (US)
The endless dance.
..................


The house contains
hidden mirrored darkness
and velvet vague
echoes within echoes, wanting
desperately
to be remembered.
Eyes within eyes
I can see,
over my shoulder
sepia tinted yesterdays
of magnolia memories,
scented sensations
and realisations
of far away
and long ago,
and faces that
I seem to know.


Somewhere in the distance
there is music playing,
such a haunting
and bittersweet
melody
comes dancing
through dust laden
hallways,
making lace draped
crystal chandeliers
quiver in ecstacy,
this ghostly gentle
symphony
that seems
to be
a part of me.


And then I sense you by my side,
slipping your hand
into mine
together once again,
and suddenly
I realise
in sweet delight
and soft surprise,
the eyes within
the eyes I saw
were memories
from a distant shore,
returning
with the summer rain
to kiss my soul
and heal my pain,
my darling
shall we dance again?...
Lost soul  196
12-04-2006 04:24 PM ET (US)
Deleted by author 12-04-2006 04:24 PM
NYK MediaPerson was signed in when posted  197
12-08-2006 06:16 AM ET (US)
Is there anybody out there, or am I just imagining it?

McDade?
Ronnie?
Gill?
Jim?
Bob?
Peter?
Jordan?
Anyone else who writes?

What happened to all the Haiku? We were supposed to be writing here!

There's a limit to what one can do with those seventeen syllables!
NYK MediaPerson was signed in when posted  198
01-30-2007 06:12 PM ET (US)
I'd just lke to say that I really enjoyed reading 'The Endless Dance' posted here by backstreetdreamer.
Fallen Angel  199
02-01-2007 04:06 PM ET (US)
Rain

Could you listen to my heart beat
the unending crying of my soul
as if you weren't the causeing
the causeing of this hole

the waves crashing apon my feet
the coolness rippling thorugh my toes
the lightning striking in the distance
reflecting in my eyes

Could you listen to my crying
look at the emptiness of my eyes
the clouded over red streaks through the brown of those hued orbs

Take me out to the streets
let us listen to the rain
Claim my lips with yours
in the cooling rain that washes all the pain away
With you to let me know it's all okay
Paul Curtis  200
02-26-2007 08:23 AM ET (US)
THE RUGGED ISLE

The channel glistened
With silver strands
Beneath the early summer sun
Its waves broke gently white
Below the green topped cliffs of chalk
The sky of azure blue
Was clear and appeared limitless
But on the distant horizon
Storm clouds gathered
Though these clouds bore no rain
And would not bring a summer squall
Storm and tempest were imminent
The sky became filled with sinister formations
Like foreboding flocks
Of migrating duck or geese
But these were not of natures sending
This malevolent swarm
Scarring the clear June sky
These were of mans conception
Heading for England’s shores
To cross its wondrous tapestry
Spread casually across the land
Like a vast quilted patchwork
And when upon this landscape
Easy on the eye
Did the bombs of evil fall
Shattering the peace
Of our rugged isle
Splitting the earth
And breaking bodies
Its spirit did not break
Its people stood firm
Defiant in Satan's face
Withstanding hells fire
And brimstone smoke
And spat in Hitler’s eye
Paul Curtis  201
02-26-2007 08:23 AM ET (US)
PAYMENT IN KIND

On the seventh day
Of the seventh month
Londoners paid the price
The ultimate price
in blood and death
In part only they paid
On that July morning
For years of liberalism
Historically Opening our doors
To the world
Offering Succor
To every race and creed
And on July 7th
Our kindness was repaid
Not in like kind
But in bloody vengeance
By the terror of Islam
They bit viciously
At the hand that fed them
A hand offered in friendship
Torn to shreads
Instead of embracing us
And returning in kind
They choose instead
To embrace terror
We should beware
Of giving of our hearts
To the heartless ones
Who plot to destroy us
This was only a warning
They will come again
Paul Curtis  202
04-26-2007 10:19 AM ET (US)
MOBILE COMMUNICATION

“I want to buy a mobile phone”
“No I don’t want a camera
Not even video
No I don’t want movie down loads
Screensaver’s, internet access
Or downloads of any kind
I don’t want WAP or WiFi
I don’t need 100 ringtones
10000 free minutes
Or unlimited texts at weekends
I don’t want to play games
I don’t need an MP3 player
I neither want nor need
Blue tooth
Sharks tooth
Hounds tooth
Or dog tooth
What I want is a device
To make and receive phone calls
And texts like wise
I just want to buy a BLOODY PHONE”
“Thank you that one will be perfect
Does it have a torch?”
Paul Curtis  203
04-26-2007 10:20 AM ET (US)
THE MIRACLE CURE

Do you feel inadequate?
Or suffer from shyness?
Are you unable to be assertive?
Did you answered yes?
Then the solution is simple
Though a little distasteful
Get to a wine bar double fast
And get totally rat assed
Wine is the safest natural way
To bring you out of your shell
You will have new confidence
To tell total strangers to “go to hell”
Inadequacy will be a thing of the past
Shyness will be a forgotten thing
Assertiveness will be the new you
And you will be willing to do anything
This is not a quick fix solution
Regular doses should be taken
Try different drinks, experiment
This is a “for life” regimen
I must give a word of warning
Shyness and awkwardness
Will return to haunt you
So always carry a bottle in readiness
Paul Curtis  204
04-26-2007 10:21 AM ET (US)
WHO IS THERE

Who is there?
In my darkest hours
When pain wracks my body
When dark thoughts plague me
Who is it who sustains me?

Who is there?
At times of anguish
When I feel so alone
When I feel all hope is gone
Who lifts me and guides me

Who is there?
In the depths of my despair
When I see no end
When I seek release
Who is it?
Who will take my pain

He is there
When the pain ends
When darkness is banished
In the light of love
My lord god will keep me
Paul Curtis  205
04-26-2007 10:21 AM ET (US)
KEEPSAKE

I keep your beauty in my eyes
Your vision adorns my mind
I keep the taste of you on my lips
Your sweetness taints my pallet
I keep your fragrance in my nose
Where it pervades my senses
I keep your tender tones in my ears
Your laughter fills my heart
I keep the touch of you on my skin
The warmth of you in my fingers
I keep the essence of you in my soul
I keep your love in the haven of my heart
Paul Curtis  206
04-26-2007 10:22 AM ET (US)
A NEW HORIZON

That first date, The Anticipation
Butterflies in the stomach
Would she come, would she stand me up?
Then the elation when I see her
Excitement tinged with fear
Nervous laughter punctuates nervous silences
Then relaxed conversation
The touch of her hand
Exchanged knowing glances
The end of the evening
A slow walk home, holding hands
At her door the first kiss
Then goodnight

Before our second date
The empty ache of longing
Stomach in knots, head spinning
The doubts and insecurities
Analyzing every second
Of our first meeting
Looking for signs, reassurances
Then the day came and all was well again
At a family function, her sisters wedding
Stolen kisses And Knowing looks

Then as the days past
More doubts, more insecurities
Should I say I love her Is it too soon
Does she feel the same as I?
Am I rushing it Will I scare her off
Then when we meet again
All my fears melt away
And on that first morning
We woke together
The touch of her hand
The warmth of her smile
I thought I would never doubt again
Then came the next day
When we weren’t due to meet up
Paul Curtis  207
04-26-2007 10:22 AM ET (US)
CRUEL WORLD

My tears ran like autumn rain
When cupids love was slain
In my heart there was only pain
I turn my back upon the world

My world was shattered
When I lost all that mattered
And my dreams were scattered
I turn my back upon the world

My heart has been broken
Her love for me was only token
All her promises now forsaken
I turn my back upon the world

The loss of my hearts desire
Cold embers where once was fire
To love again I can only aspire
I turn my back upon the world

But with head high I went forward
Feeling not a little awkward
And I found my just reward
When I went again into the world

Though my love ended in tears
It’s never as dark as it appears
I’ve put aside my darkest Fears
And I must go again out into the world

Now back from the brink of madness
With Only distant memories of Sadness
My heart now resounds in gladness
Now I’m back again into the world
NYK MediaPerson was signed in when posted  208
04-26-2007 10:33 AM ET (US)
ATTENTION PAUL CURTIS

Can you email me as the address I have here for you is kicking back my emails. It's re: 'Paul's Corner' in NYK. Thank you :)
NYK MediaPerson was signed in when posted  209
05-29-2007 09:04 AM ET (US)
ARTISTS WANTED

Check out http://www.onlineartexhibition.co.uk

We are looking for artists and craft workers to showcase their work FREE in our online exhibition that begins soon. Take this opportunity to register your details. Why worry about 20% + commission on sales when the online art exhibition costs you nothing to exhibit and eBid charges only 3% commission if and when your work sells. You may even prefer to open your own online gallery, which costs approximately £100 to set up but ZERO to administer, and a MAXIMUM 2% SELLING COMMISSION.

Silver status costs NOTHING but incurs a 3% selling fee
Platinum status costs a single setup fee of £99.99 and then ZERO selling fees.
If you choose to add extra photographs of your work, selling fees are a maximum 2% for platinum status.

http://www.onlineartexhibition.co.uk
Paul Curtis  210
06-13-2007 09:30 AM ET (US)
IMAGINE

I imagine the scent of you
Because you are far away
I imagine your hand in mine
Because you are out of reach
I imagine you in my arms
Because you’re no longer there
I imagine your sweet smile
Because now you look at me with scorn
I imagine your lovely voice
Because now you speak only bitter words
I imagine that you love me
Because your love for me is past
I imagine myself in your heart
Because you no longer love me
Paul Curtis  211
06-13-2007 09:31 AM ET (US)
LOVE OF HER LIFE

Young and beautiful
She looked at the life ahead
With hope and optimism
But a life was planned for her instead
A loveless marriage
With a distant stranger
Arranged by her family
She decided was not for her

She gave her heart
To the love of her life

She listened to her heart
And not her fathers voice
She simply fell in love
With a man of her choice

She wanted too make a life
With the love of her life

The consequence of this love
So precious to her
Was shame on her family
And death for the dishonour

She risked her life
For the love of her life

Her cries for help
Went sadly unheeded
The cruellest punishments
For the love she needed

She gave her life
For the love of her life
Her father wanted to arrange her life
And cursed the love of her life
Her father took her life
Because of the love of her life
She wanted to live her life
With the love of her life
Make her safe in paradise
God protect her in the afterlife
Paul Curtis  212
07-24-2007 11:05 AM ET (US)
TRIANGLES

It’s so good to be loved
To be essential to someone
To be the breath of their life
The beat in their heart
The fire in their blood
Seeing love in their eyes
Knowing you are the one
Being in their every thought
It’s so good to be loved
Except when you love another
Paul Curtis  213
07-24-2007 11:05 AM ET (US)
NATURE’S CHILD

She was nature’s child
The most special one
Her smile as warm
As the summer sun
Yet Fragile and delicate
Like an early spring bloom
Bright as shaft of sunlight
Illuminating the gloom
Spectacular and exiting
As the days first dawning
Yet simple and refreshing
As a clear winter morning
Tempestuous like
An autumn gale blowing wild
The most special one
She was nature’s child
Paul Curtis  214
07-24-2007 11:06 AM ET (US)
MOMENTS

A Life is merely moments
Interconnected
Like the links of a chain
Just moments
Some fleeting
Some lingering
Sometimes singular
Sometimes strung together
One upon another
To make experiences
In turn making a life whole
Life consists only of moments
Moments that comfort
Moments that elate
Moments of sadness
Moments of joy
Moments of pain
Moments of ecstasy
Moments to cherish
Some moments are finite
Others radiate through a life
Like ripples on a pond
Left by a rising fish
Others remain rooted in the past
Becoming distant memories
Yet some are perfect moments
And are easily recalled
In perfect clarity
You are my most precious moments
Paul Curtis  215
07-24-2007 11:08 AM ET (US)
THE GRAND NATIONAL

Jockeys in bright coloured racing silk
Representing owners of every ilk
The horses fidget with ears pricked
Punters shout for the horse they picked
Ready for the off the tension mounts
A lot of money bet on turf accounts
they’re at the start now all in a line
The starter waits till all is fine
And they’re off, and the horses surge
Moving en mass like a cavalry charge

Powerful beasts of chestnut and grey
Doing battle on Grand National day
Hooves thunder hard past the rail
Who will win the race who will prevail

On they go riding at a steady rate
Five fences in the opening straight
Then the big one Bechers Brook
Some don’t fancy it when they take a look
Then the Foinavon fence before Canal Turn
Valentines is then the next big concern
Three more fences and the field is thinning
Across the Melling Road and turning
Over two more fences before the Chair
Then the water jump and halfway there

Powerful beasts of chestnut and grey
Doing battle on Grand National day
Hooves thunder hard past the rail
Who will win the race who will prevail

The crowd cheers loudly those who remain
As the magnificent beasts go around again
Along the straight five fences once more
Then Bechers Brook counts its score
Beneath them the ground seems to quake
The leaders leaving fallers in their wake
Then the Foinavon fence before Canal Turn
Valentines is once again the big concern
Three more fences and the field is thinning
Across the Melling Road and turning

Powerful beasts of chestnut and grey
Doing battle on Grand National day
Hooves thunder hard past the rail
Who will win the race who will prevail

Two more fences and the volume gets loud
Almost home to the delight of the crowd
Jump the last fence and land ahead
Keep your wits about you, keep your head
The finishing straight the end in sight
Across the finish line to the crowds delight
For the winner at the end of the road
The great sporting accolade is bestowed
A spectacle on an afternoon well spent
For those who witness the great event
Paul Curtis  216
10-02-2007 08:27 AM ET (US)
THE TWENTY FIRST CENTURY PLAGUE

Getting your toe
On the property ladder
Is so difficult
It’s more of an escalator
Constantly moving
At best just out of reach
More often out of sight
With property values so high
Caused by a shortage
And the housing shortage
Is blamed on many things
Increased immigration
(All needed according to the government)
An ever ageing population
And increased single dwellers
Everything in fact
Rather than the truth
The real cause is greed
To many people owning too many homes
Second and third homes
Property which sit empty
50 weeks a year
Creating ghost towns
Across the country
Briefly inhabited by city dwellers
Who suck the life out of communities
And put nothing back
Shopping at their local hypermarket
Getting fuel on the motorway
And transporting everything they need
Buying nothing in the communities they invade
And the knock on effect
Is to fuel the house price inflation
Which increases the value of their properties
While excluding so many from getting on the ladder
They have ripped the heart from small seaside towns
And destroyed villages and hamlets
Even the great plague couldn’t kill
Paul Curtis  217
10-02-2007 08:28 AM ET (US)
HEAVENS GATE

Teardrops stain my cheeks
Now my love you’ve gone
Gone to join the angels throng
As sad and lonely I live on

I am comforted to know
In my sadness and despair
I’m alone but you are with me
As I feel you everywhere

With my faith for strength
I wipe my teary eyes
Safe in the knowledge
That no one really dies

We will be together again
If my beloved you will wait
Beyond the golden portal
Just through heavens gate
Paul Curtis  218
10-02-2007 08:29 AM ET (US)
GOLDEN HARVEST

The autumn leaves fall
Like flakes of gold
Drifting to earth like surreal snow
In the golden harvest
As they fall they dance
Wildly in the breeze
To autumns tune
Before coming to rest
Then on peaceful mornings
They gather in the quiet corners
That pepper the autumn landscape
Cast like a threadbare cloak
Spread by mother natures hand
And in the misty morn
The golden harvest
Lays deep and undisturbed
Like collected thoughts
In the corners of my mind
The watery sun slowly burns away the mist
And Illuminates the October landscape
Before the wind disturbs the peace
And chases the leaves away
Scattering them like my dreams
Paul Curtis  219
10-02-2007 08:29 AM ET (US)
FALCON IN THE GARDEN

In the late summer sky
The falcon in majestic flight
Spied its unfortunate prey
Then swooped down from great height

With lightning speed
It took a pigeon on the wing
Then with much less grace and style
It performed a clumsy landing

In a quiet village garden
On the sunny patch of grass
The falcon went about its work
And performed the coup de gras

From the house a curious cat
Peered out with envious eyes
Through a window as the falcon
Devoured its pigeon prize

The cat crept through the cat flap
In its most stealthy way
The falcon though was off
But left behind its pigeon prey

The cat inspected the pigeon
Sniffed it and poked it with her paw
Found it a disappointment
And she strolled away once more

As she strolled back to the house
The falcon swooped to the ground
Snatched up his pigeon prize
Before the cat could turn around

The falcon had taken the bird
Leaving nothing in its place
Leaving only feathers on the lawn
And a scowl on the cats face
Paul Curtis  220
10-02-2007 08:30 AM ET (US)
IF I

If I were inside your head
What would I see?
Through your blue grey eyes
How would I view me?

If I were in your heart
What would I feel?
Would it beat a little faster?
When I see me?

If I was in your skin
When we made love
Would I feel electricity?
When I touch you

If I were inside your head
What would I think?
Would I know I was the one?
When I look at me?

If I were in your heart
Would it be full?
Or have an empty space
For the one you seek

If I were in your mind
Would I feel content?
Would I see someone special?
When I look at me?

If I spoke to me
With your mouth and lips
And I said I love you
Would it be the truth?
Paul Curtis  221
10-02-2007 08:30 AM ET (US)
JUST SAY

You can write it in a letter
In flowery words
On sweetly perfumed paper
And seal it with a loving kiss
You can write it in smoke
Across the clear blue sky
You can use dots and dashes
Like the old Morse code
Just say you love me

You can sing it in a song
Like a nightclub crooner
Honey covered words
Set to the music of love
You can beat it out in rhythm
On a set of bongo drums
Emblazon it on a banner
Trailing behind a biplane
Just say you love me

You can say it on the telephone
In dulcet tones
Your voice soft and sweet
To match the words of love
Say it in electric letters
On the side of an airship
Display it on a big screen
Before the match kicks off
Just say you love me

You can say it in dance
In the ballet tradition
With grace and poise
Moving like Darcy Bussle
You can send a signal in smoke
Like a Native American
You can say it in an Email
Just one line will do
You can say it in a Text
I luv u or u r m9
Just say you love me
Paul Curtis  222
10-03-2007 05:46 AM ET (US)
I ALWAYS LOVED THE TIME OF YEAR

I always loved the time of year
Long before that perfect day
It was a perfect morning
The best of autumn
The sky the clearest blue
The air crisp and clean
The last remnants of mist
Burnt away by the rising watery sun
And there she stood
As if to improve on nature itself
A vision of perfection
Standing at the edge of the woods
From beneath her woolen hat
Flaming red hair fell
Then danced upon her shoulders
And caught on her scarf
Breath plumed from her smiling mouth
As she spoke to her dog
Then she began to walk
The hem of her long coat swung
With the rhythm of her hips
As she strode into the woods
The spaniel chasing a stick she had thrown
Her boots crunching leaves underfoot
Still crisp with frost
Where the sun hadn’t reached
“Come on Jimbo” I said
Letting the dog out of the car
And we followed her into the wood
I walked amidst the skeletal trees
Where Squirrels ran here and there
Still busily preparing for winter
I kicked through the carpet of leaves
Feeling like a schoolboy again
And birds settled in my wake
Feeding on insects in the disturbance
In a clearing I saw her again
Her red hair like fire
Illuminated in the sunlight
The dogs soon introduced each other
And we did also
Two dog lovers talking in a wood
Two people who would become lovers
Who both loved the time of year
Paul Curtis  223
10-16-2007 08:21 AM ET (US)
AUTUMN REFLECTIONS

I stood on the wet sand
On that cold autumn morning
In the autumn of my years
With the breeze off the sea
Chilling my old bones
And gazed out across the bay
To the distant purple hills
Their edges blurred and softened
By the early morning mist
Their indistinct silhouette
Reflected on the moving water
The tidal water pulling at the reflection
As it moved inexorably to the open sea
And seemingly carrying with it
All of my unfulfilled hopes and dreams
With a shiver I turned from the scene
And made my way along the beach
My eyes were drawn to the hillside
Where the sparsely covered trees stand
With the last of the leaves falling
Each fluttering to the ground
Each leaf’s fall symbolic
Like the dates of a calendar
Being peeled off one by one
Ticking off the days of my life
As I head towards my winter
Paul Curtis  224
10-16-2007 08:21 AM ET (US)
MONKS OF PEACE

Monks of peace, saffron robed
March with quiet dignity
Arm in arm with their countrymen
Marching for democracy
Joy written on every face
As they march to free Burma
From military dictatorship

Monks of peace, saffron robed
March to end the tyranny
Cheered loudly by the people
In the face of western hypocrisy
As they march to free Burma
From Than Shwe’s vicious regime

Monks of peace, saffron robed
March with quiet dignity
Marching for Aung Aan Suu Kyi
Hope in every heart
As they march to free Burma
From an unjust government

Then the peace is violently shattered
Tear gas grenades explode
And laughter turns to screams
Joy to terror
Hope to despair
Shots ring out
Volley fire over head
Then soldiers approach
Rattan batons in hand
Monks of peace, saffron robed
Stagger with bloodied skulls
Saffron stained with blood
Fear etched on every face
Screams ring out
As people run for safety
Before the Army’s advance

Monks of peace, saffron robed
March on with determination
Until the peace is shattered again
By rifles crack
And in the echoing percussion
Monks of peace lay dead
The peaceful to rest in peace
While tyrants live to kill again
And the west looks on in shame
Eddie Elwood  225
10-16-2007 04:22 PM ET (US)
ATTENTION ALL CYBERDOSHERS

Got my post, nice to see,
Read of the challenge, what's it to be?
Shona Prophett, showin' a loss?
Does anybody really give a toss?

Have to admit, if this is true,
I could be tempted, so could you,
Wouldn't it be cool, wouldn't it be funny,
If we all took part and we all made money?

Check it out, then let me know,
If you're taking part, I'll give it a go.

Details at http://www.cyberdosh.com
Paul Curtis  226
10-25-2007 08:26 AM ET (US)
OH NO, NOT HALLOWEEN AGAIN

It’s that time of year again, Halloween
Oh how I hate it and its practitioners
All year round we tell our children
“Don’t accept sweets from strangers”
We instill in them from an early age
“Don’t ever approach or talk to strangers”
Then at Halloween we send them out
To ask for sweets at the doors of strangers

When children dressed as monsters
Terrorize the neighborhood
Begging from door to door
Demanding sweets and treats
For not vandalizing your property
The older children or should I say yobs
Wear masks and disguise them selves
Clearly training for a life of crime
A yob in a funny outfit is still a yob

It’s that time of year again
The night of night to ignore the doorbell
Its not twee or cute it’s just annoying
I try to be polite when I shoo them from my door
But I know I will get up next morning
With fake blood smeared on the front door
Eggs smashed on my windscreen
And rubbish strewn across my garden
God I hate Halloween and its practitioners
Paul Curtis  227
10-29-2007 09:43 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS LINDA PART 1 - BRIEF ENCOUNTER

Snow spattered, unseen, against the steamy glass
As the train rattled out of the station
It was a fairly crowded train, but not full
With weary shoppers, shopping bags bursting
And commuting workers the weeks work done
Journeying homeward at the dark days end
A cheerful crowd though
Pleased with themselves bright faced and hearty
Full of seasonal cheer anticipating the holiday
Seemingly oblivious to the drafty carriage
I sat alone and felt lifted by the quiet jolliness
Contemplating the collective countenance
Of the self satisfied passengers
Then she appeared and I was lifted higher
There she was larger than life vivacious and self assured
Covered with snowflakes and laughing to herself
My snow angel, with snow covering her like sugar on a doughnut
Wrapped up against the cold in a woolen hat and coat
And a long knitted scarf draped about her neck
She shook her head and her light brown hair danced about her shoulders
And the snowflakes melted away from her soft curls
There was a rosy redness on her cheeks
Almost matching the hue of her coat
Either from the cold winter evening or a liberal taste of Christmas spirit
A little of both probably
She made her way down the train between the seats
Leaving wet snowflakes in her wake
Full length coat swishing side to side
She moved almost gracelessly, which suited her well
As she tottered a little in her high boots
Perhaps due to the lurching motion of the train
Or the Christmas punch and eggnog
She was still laughing softly to herself which also suited so well
And then she saw me, and her eyes lit up like beacons
Those wonderful sparking laughing eyes
She stopped and stood momentarily open mouthed
Then her smile illuminated the carriage
My heart soared at the sight of her
I returned her smile and she flushed a little deeper red
It had been almost a year since I last saw her
My lovely lost love, Linda
I had locked all my feelings away but now they were back
Like a door had opened in my heart and they all rushed out
And I missed her so much I didn’t know just how much till that moment
We were never lovers, only ever friends
But very special friends very close friends though no more
We laughed a lot together, shared confidences
Best friends but no more than that,
Though I wanted more, so much more
But I didn’t want to lose what we had so I said nothing
I loved her so much, but she was not free for me to love
And Linda was not free to love me even if she wanted
So I contented myself with our special friendship
My unrequited love remained so
If that was all then better that than nothing
I was happy to love her unconditionally
Then circumstances changed, my father died
I had to move away and I didn’t see her again, until now
Now she was in front of me, my angel, larger than life
Smiling, blushing, laughing and so lovely
I stood up and smiled at her again
She threw herself at me and she hugged me so tight
I smelled her hair as I held her and was intoxicated by her scent
All the old feelings flooded back over whelming me
I had often dreamt of being reunited with her
But never in my wildest dreams had I expect such a reaction
Could it be my love was not unrequited?
We sat down on the lumpy seats in the rattling carriage
And were completely alone
We sat looking at each other not wanting to lose sight of one another
In case the spell were broken
She removed a glove and put her hand on mine
As if testing it was not a dream then she slipped her hand into mine
Her delicate fingers so small in my grasp
For the remainder of the journey we reveled in each other’s company
We caught up with the lost months filling in the gaps
Still oblivious to our companions
It was as if we had never been apart
Then the train shook to a halt as all too soon we had arrived
Our fellow travelers rushed off to their Christmases
Reluctantly we left our seats and disembarked arm in arm
Then hand in hand we walked slowly along the platform
Still talking and laughing and then out onto the street
Where the shops were now closing and the town was relatively quiet
From one pub Noddy Holder screamed “it’s Christmas” to the world
Only the pubs and restaurants seemed to hold any attraction to most
But we joined a small group gathered round the Salvation Army band
And joined in with the carol singing in the town square
Before strolling towards the taxi stand
As the snow again fell onto Linda’s soft curls
We took our place in the queue of travelers eager to be home
I was eager to be nowhere else but with her
I shuffled along for the last few steps like a sulky schoolboy
Smiling, Linda turned to face me and kissed me gently on the lips
Such a warm sensitive and tender kiss
When our lips parted she smiled at me coyly
And flushed a deep shade of pink
Then I kissed a snowflake off her nose
Cupping her flushed cheek in my palm I slid my fingers beneath her hair
Caressing the soft downy hair on her nape
And pulled her sweet lips to mine and returned her kiss
Her arms enveloped me holding me so close, so tightly
Not wanting to let go, not wanting to lose what we had found
Not wanting to lose me again
We stood locked in our embrace as the snow fell softly on the scene
She pulled away for a moment then buried her face in my neck
And spoke “I’ve missed you so much, I’ve missed your love for me”
I had waited so long for this moment waited so long to here those words
To hear my love returned and then we kissed again
Cabs arrived and departed through the slush
The queue around us just kept moving as if unaware of our love
After a while we moved from the queue sat on a bench and talked
My love was not unrequited after all she felt the same for me
She had always done so yet still she was not free
She was torn between the two of us
Torn between the comfortable familiarity for a good man
A loyal and dependable man, safety
And the passion she felt for a soul mate
It wasn’t fair on him he hadn’t done anything wrong
I had been on the receiving end of that kind of pain
And I found myself unable to inflict it onto another
So our love had to be a forbidden one
Best friends no more, I wanted more, so much more
And could not content myself with a special friendship
Now I knew my love was not unrequited
There was no going back, now Pandora’s Box had been opened
But at least now I knew she loved me
With the same depth as I loved her
We walked back to the taxi rank and kissed again in the snow
All too soon she got into a taxi
And through the winter wonderland departed taking my love with her
With her palm pressed against the glass she craned her neck to keep sight of me
Through the snow spattered window until the very last moment
Till the cab had gone out of sight
She was gone from my arms, gone from my view, gone from my life
But a Christmas happening had changed my life forever
A brief encounter, fleeting, here and then gone
Her scent still in my nostrils, the taste of joy on my lips
My soul mate gone forever, yet forever in my memory, forever in my heart
I would never see her again and moved away in the New Year
Making a life elsewhere but I never forgot her
And when on a winter’s night I hear the “Sally army” play
Or when the snow falls during Christmas time
Or I feel a snowflake on my skin
I feel her small hand in mine and then she is once again in my arms
And I smell her soft brown hair and the taste of her is on my lips
I hear her say “I love you” and she is mine forever
Paul Curtis  228
10-30-2007 05:23 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS LINDA PART 2 - ONE SPECIAL NIGHT

I found myself stranded in a strange town
With less than a week to go before Christmas
Stranded two hundred miles from home
With a seriously ill car in the garage
And a lack of will to contemplate train travel
In truth I was in no hurry to return home
To the empty soulless house that once was home
But now held no comfort for me
My wife of twenty five years had died a year before
Finally loosing her battle with cancer
And my children were all grown up now
With homes and families of their own
The house would be full at Christmas
Full of noise and hustle and bustle,
And the usual mix of love, laughter and tears
But for now it was cold and empty
So I booked into a hotel for the weekend
And I would drive home on Monday
So finding myself in a strange town
Just a few days before Christmas
And with more than a little time to kill
I decided I could fill part of my day
By doing some last minute Christmas shopping
As I stepped out of the Hotel I shivered
The day was cold, grey and damp
And clouds scudded across the December sky
It was the kind of day that chilled you to the bone
I made my way towards the high street
It was only a five minute walk
The receptionist assured me with a smile
As she jotted down some brief directions
In an effort to warm myself up
I walked briskly following her directions
Down the narrow almost Dickensian lanes and ally ways
Passing picturesque Victorian and Tudor buildings, well mock Tudor
As I went and it was indeed five minutes when I emerged
Onto the busy cobbled pedestrianised high street
It was a curious mixture of ancient and modern
At one end of the street a Norman church was visible
And at the other was what appeared to be a municipal building
With rather pretentious Georgian columns
There was still evidence of a row of Edwardian shop fronts
But much of the street was modern
With a little too much sixties influence to be easy on the eye
The street was criss-crossed along the full length
With festive lights and decorations
Which did there best to brighten the scene
I decided to familiarize my self with what the town had to offer
In the way of shops so I turned left and joined the throng of shoppers
Faces gloomy to match the weather
And headed towards the Georgian pillared building
This turned out to be the public library
As I dodged between the Christmas Lemmings
I made a mental note of shops I would return to
My progress was hampered by erratic shoppers
Who moved it appeared independently to any logic
Some seemed to zigzag everywhere and very few possessed
The ability to walk in a straight line for more than a few paces
And others would take a few steps then stop for no apparent reason
Then after a few moments pause carry on normally in the same direction
The sound of cheery Christmas songs and carols
Could be heard from every shop I passed
Though the cheeriness of the music
Was clearly not reflected on the faces
Of the shoppers going in and out of them
As I passed one shop Noddy Holder screamed “it’s Christmas”
Just in case any of the reluctant shoppers were in any doubt
When I reached the other end of the high street
Where the church stood there was a little square
Which I wasn’t able to see before
In the centre of which was the war memorial
And to its left was a magnificent Christmas tree
Covered in baubles and adorned by a beautiful angel
Assembled around the tree was the Salvation Army band
I took a few moments to admire the tree and listen to the band
And I was taken back to a distant time and place
The clock chimed and I was brought back to the present
I took a few more moments while I decided on my first port of call
Not realizing just how important a decision it was
I decided on Woolworths, always a favorite of mine at Christmas
But it also happened to be the closest
So I walked towards the store and pushed open the door
As I entered I paused to hold the door open for a woman coming the other way
I waited as she put her purse away into a huge handbag
And I wondered what I would get for my trouble
I had found the older I got the less women appreciated courtesy
The simple act of holding open a door could provoke a range of responses
A smile, a thank you, a nod, a sneer, a tut or a colorful mouth full of abuse
And you couldn’t always tell who was going to do what
When she had finished fiddling and securing her bag
She moved to step through the open door
As she passed me she looked up said “Thank you” and smiled broadly
And then she stopped as I returned her smile and then I just stood there
Both of us stood motionless as slowly the recognition set in
We both stood there dumbstruck not believing our eyes
I’m not sure how long for but long enough for a queue to form behind each of us
We both blushed and excused ourselves
And stepped out onto the street away from the door
Neither of us knew what to say I couldn’t believe it was Linda
Who I last saw 30 years before being driven off in a taxi
Disappearing off through the snow
With her palm pressed against the glass her neck craned to keep sight of me
And here she stood before me as beautiful as ever she was
The soft curls of her brown hair still danced on her shoulders
Yet with fine strands of silver threaded thru it
Her smile was still able to melt my heart even after all those years
Her smiling eyes still had the same sparkle
The years had been kind to her and too me much less so
I was still fumbling for the words to say as I studied her
When she reached up and hugged my neck
Kissing my cheek at the same time
And spoke softly in my ear “Paul, Is it really you?”
I simply said yes and we stood in that long comfortable embrace
I don’t know how long we stood there not wanting to let go
Then as she relaxed her grip and I kissed her forehead
“It’s so good too see you” I said feebly
She put her head on my chest, squeezed me and sighed
Then released her grip and pulled away slightly
And put her hand up to my cheek and caressed my grey beard
“Do you have time for coffee”? She said almost pleadingly
I said of course and she put her arm through mine and led me across the high street
Asking quick fire questions as we went
And I explained about my car breaking down
And that I was staying at the Cromwell hotel
She said “oh really” and “oh dear” delighting in my misfortune
We sat on a large comfortable sofa in Starbucks
And told the tales of our lives spent apart
Throughout I looked at her with adoring eyes
Pinching myself expecting to awake from a dream
As I had done so very may times before
I told her about my wife and children
She told me of her marriage and subsequent divorce
The good man I gave her up for turned out to be a violent drunk
She had no children which although unsaid was clearly a regret
With the aid of several cups of coffee we managed to talk away the entire morning
I suggested we might spend the day together
And have dinner together at the hotel
She accepted the invitation to dinner with a delightful smile
Then she looked at her watch and suddenly jumped up
“Look at the time, I have to go” she flustered
She said she had a prior commitment
“Lunch with mum” she said rather unconvincingly
She said it was something she couldn’t get out of
As I helped her back into her coat the smell of her hair
Evoked memories of our past embraces
She fished out her mobile phone as we left the coffee shop
From her huge handbag and we exchanged phone numbers
And we firmed up the details for the evening
Then with a hug and a kiss she was off
I stood and watched her walk away her coat tails swishing behind her
She stopped briefly and turned to give me a smile and a wave
Then with the phone to her ear she hurried off again talking animatedly
I stood watching until she disappeared from sight
Then I went back to my Christmas shopping
And treated myself to a new shirt for the evening
I bought the gifts I was looking for and paper, tags, cards etc
And with all my shopping complete I returned to the hotel for lunch
The rest of the day seemed intolerably long
In an effort to kill some time I went for a swim
Used the gym, went for a walk
I got a haircut even though I didn’t need one
I even wrapped the Christmas presents I had bought
But the time passed so interminably slowly
I walked into the hotel bar at 7 o’clock an hour early
Partly for some Dutch courage and in part because I had run out of things to do
I ordered a drink and then sat at the bar
Even though I wasn’t expecting her until eight
Every time the door opened I turned to look for her
And when it wasn’t her self doubt crept in
And with every false alarm the doubts got worse
What if she doesn’t come?
What if she changed her mind?
What if she never intended to come?
What if? What if? What if?
Then at a quarter to the hour the door opened and there she was
There she stood wearing a simple black knee length dress
Black tights or stockings and four-inch stiletto shoes
Her legs as shapely as I remembered them
And in one hand she held a black leather clutch bag
Her face looked a little anxious until I stood up
And then it lit up in the most radiant smile
Then she walked towards me
Almost tottering on her heels and she laughed
I took her hand as she climbed onto a stool
And kissed her cheek the fragrance of her perfume was intoxicating
Going straight to my head like a strong spirit
The combination of her scent and my desire for her almost made me swoon
I ordered her a drink and we nervously made small talk
Like two strangers on a blind date
Until the waitress led us through to the restaurant
Once we were seated at our table
I asked her how her lunch with mum went
And she blushed the deepest red
She told me the lunch date was a little white lie
Because she needed the afternoon to get ready
And the animated phone call was to her sister
To rally the troops to get her presentable
We both laughed and any awkwardness was gone
We talked with such an easy familiarity
As if her departing taxi had only been a week ago
By the time we had finished our coffee the restaurant was empty
Except for us and a weary waitress waiting to clear our table
The evening seemed to have passed in the blink of an eye
And had all too soon come to an end
We got up and made our apologies
Linda went through the door to the ladies and I settled the bill
I said good night and had made my apologies again
Then went in search of Linda through the same door she had used
I found her standing by the Christmas tree
She had retrieved her coat and scarf from the cloakroom
Which were draped over one arm her bag was in her hand
Linda stood with her back to me gazing out of the window
She could see my reflection in the glass and smiled
I gasped at the beauty of her and pinched myself again
I wanted to kiss her so much but I was afraid
Afraid to break the magic of that special kiss
That perfect moment when we kissed in the snow
All those years ago when I let her slip from my grasp
For 30 years I had revered that moment
Relived it whenever I felt a snowflake on my skin
Or stood in a taxi queue on a winters night
Or when I hear the Salvation Army play
Or when the snow falls during Christmas time
For 30 years I had wanted to be back there holding her in the snow
And here I stood a few steps away and I was hesitant
As if sensing my turmoil she turned away from the window
And I took those few steps to face her
We stood for a few moments just looking at each other
Then she smiled her most heart melting smile
As she caressed my cheek then she pulled me to her
And kissed me gently on the lips, a tender and sensitive kiss
When our lips met electricity ran down my spine
And it was as if we were young again
Our lips parted for a second then met again
And her kiss became more intense, more passionate
Her coat, scarf and bag fell to the floor as our arms enveloped each other
We stood locked in our passionate embrace as the tree lights twinkled
Then she pulled away for a moment before burying her face in my neck
And spoke softly in my ear “you see that was as good as the first time”
How could I have doubted it would not be perfect?
I slid my fingers beneath her hair caressing her nape
And gently turned her head so I could kiss her sweet lips again
This time when we disengaged she put her head on my chest
Still holding on to me so tightly
I kissed the top of her head and smelled her hair
I didn’t want to let her go, and then I said “please stay”
“I can’t watch you disappear from my life in another taxi”
She lifted her head and looked at me and said
“I’m not letting you go again, not now not ever”
Then she smiled at me coyly and blushed like a virgin
And buried her face in my chest again
Then she scooped up her coat, scarf and bag from the floor
Took my hand and we walked in silence to my room
Outside the room she looked into my eyes and kissed my mouth
Then I opened the door and let her walk inside
She dropped her coat and bag onto a chair and turned to face me
Reached up and wrapped her arms around my neck
And whispered in my ear “I never stopped loving you”
My arms enfolded her and pulled her to me tightly
Then we kissed at first soft and tender then more urgently
And I began to un-wrap my most special Christmas gift
Wrapped in lace and silk instead of paper and ribbon
Caressing her body from neck to Lacy stocking top
And our love was at last made absolute
When our act of love was complete and our dreams realized
We lay holding each other in the afterglow
Silently content until we drifted off to sleep
I awoke to find her stood silhouetted against the window
Gazing out wearing my shirt to cover her nakedness
She turned her head to me and said “it’s snowing”
I slipped out of bed joined her at the window
Standing behind her and enveloping her in my arms
We watched as the snow settled on the courtyard
She hugged my arms and said “How perfect is that”?
Both of us thinking back to the last time we enjoyed the snowfall together
We stood for a few minutes taking in the snowy scene
Then she inclined her head so I could kiss her
When my hands moved from her soft belly and cupped her breasts
She led me back to the bed and we made love again
I woke early and lay in the half light and held Linda’s sleeping form in my arms
As I lay there I thought how good the fates had been to us
If my car hadn’t broken down, and had I not rejected the idea of taking the train
I would not have been shopping on that cold grey morning
I thought about the moments I spent admiring that tree in the square
And listening to the Salvation Army band
And what thought processes made me do what I did
Was it destiny that I chose Woolworths at that very moment or just blind luck?
All I knew was that 24 hours before my life had been so empty
And now it was full and I was finally with my soul mate
Linda was in my life at last and I wanted her never to leave it again
But if fate decreed that this one special night
Was all we could have I would have to be content
Paul Curtis  229
10-31-2007 05:42 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS LINDA PART 3 - FROM EVE TO EVE

Christmas Eve

It was Christmas Eve and the house was decorated for the season
A large fresh cut tree stood in the corner and perfumed the room
Adorned by a myriad of assorted baubles and lights
Christmas cards of all shapes and sizes adorned every surface
And more hung on bright red and green ribbons from the picture rails
Bright colored Christmas garlands hung gaily criss-crossing the sealing
While outside through a break in the dark clouds
A shaft of week winter sunlight shone through the window
Reflecting off the garlands and painting random patterns on the walls
I sat watching TV in my favorite armchair in the front room
Of the house I shared with my wife and soul mate Linda
The woman I loved more then life itself
Both of us had been married before but Linda was the love of my life
We had spent 30 years apart before we found each other again
When our own Christmas miracle happened 20 years ago
And we have had 20 years of incredible happiness together
We had made good use of the years we had together
To make up for the lost time we were apart
And together we had had the fullest of lives
Christmas had always had particular significance for us
It was our favorite time of year and had always been so
Our most meaningful moments together happened at Christmas time
Finding love together, losing each other, finding each other, marrying each other
That’s why I called her Christmas Linda
We did Christmas big and we relished every moment
We would pack away all the ornaments and pictures
Replacing them with festive decorations we had collected over the years
There would be a houseful on Christmas day and Boxing Day
Sharing the celebration with family and friends
Then we would fly off to the sun for a few weeks
Neither of us could abide the New Years holiday
So we took ourselves away to enjoy each others company
But this year the season held no joy for me
Even James Stewart in “It’s a wonderful life” could not lift my spirits
And the reason for my gloomy disposition
Lay in the next room, where the dining table used to stand
Where we had so many wonderful Christmas dinners
The room full of the happy chatter of good company
The table heaving under the weight of Christmas fare
But in its place now stood a stark and clinical a hospital bed
And laying upon it the most precious thing in my life, Linda
Surrounded by all the paraphernalia of terminal illness
Her once vibrant body riddled with inoperable tumors
Their evil spread consuming her from within
The cancer was to far advanced when it was discovered
And she refused what little treatment there was on offer
She also stubbornly refused to die in hospital or a hospice
Saying she wished to die in our home where she had known such happiness
How could I refuse her that simple wish?
We had a private nurse who sat with her at night and I tended her by day
And I watched her dieing by inches every single day
The cruelest punishment for being so happy
My first wife was taken by cancer
And that was hard enough to bare
It’s always so hard when someone you love suffers
But as much as I loved my first wife and as hard as it was to watch her die
It was nothing compared to the intolerable despair I felt losing Linda
She was not only my wife she was my love, my life,
My soul mate, she was the one
I would sit with her and read to her
Sometimes Dickens, Stephen King or Tom Sharpe
Depending on her frame of mind
On her brighter days she would have me tell her jokes
She always said I was the only one who could make her laugh
Her brown hair with its soft curls had long since turned silver
And the sparkle was only rarely present in her eyes
The laughter that used to play around them replaced by pain
And it was on the morning of that Christmas Eve
When she told me what she wanted for Christmas
She was always at her best in the morning
But on that morning she was having a good day
After she had eaten breakfast she asked me to pass her jewelry box
It was the very first Christmas gift I gave her
She often told me it was her most precious possession, after me
As I handed it to her she smiled and just for a second
There was a glimpse of her loveliness shinning through the pain
She patted the bed and bad me sit next to her
I sat on the bed next to her and she took my hand
“I have to say this to you today because I’m having a good day and
I don’t know how many good days I’ve got left”
I protested that she was being silly, she squeezed my hand
Then gave me a look which said that I knew she wasn’t
She opened her jewelry box and from a draw within
Took out a neatly folded handkerchief which she carefully unfolded
And inside were a dozen capsules containing her medication
She looked at me with her soulful eyes pleading with me
As the realization of what she was asking sank in I shook my head
On her good days she had salted away some of her medication
Until she now had enough to hasten the end
She squeezed my hand again and said “Please do this for me”
She didn’t want me to do it there and then
She just wanted me to agree to do it when the time came
But the time would be very soon
“It’s the only gift you can give me this Christmas”
She looked in to my eyes and said
“I love you more than anything in the world
And I know with all my heart that you love me”
I could say nothing as tears welled up in my eyes
“Please do this thing for me” she pleaded
My heart was breaking at the choice I must make
Let her suffer or end her suffering and kill her
I said “I just can’t do it” and I got up and left the room
She didn’t call after me she knew I would be back
With tears streaming down my face I grabbed my coat
And went out the door and went for a walk
The day was cold, grey and damp
And clouds scudded across the December sky
Any hint of the promised sunny intervals was not in evidence
It was the kind of day that chilled you to the bone
But I didn’t feel it at all I just felt numb
You had to be alive to feel the cold and I was dieing inside
I walked for miles under the grey skies
Along the woodland paths we used to walk together
My mind in turmoil my eyes red with tears
If I did what she wanted I would lose her forever
The loss of her would be devastating
But not to let her go would just be selfish
My head was spinning I didn’t know which way to turn
Images of the happy moments together swam in and out of focus
Then as I walked into a clearing in the woods
Where once we had made love on a sultry afternoon
There was a sudden break in the clouds
And the woods were bathed in winter sunshine
And all at once I knew what I must do
When I returned to the house I went straight to her bedside
She was sleeping; so I sat on the chair beside her bed
And rested my head on the bed beside her
Then I felt her hand gently stroking my hair
I sat up and her hand moved to my cheek
I took it in my own and kissed it softly and said
“I’ll do what ever you want me to do”

New Years Eve

Christmas had past and I was glad of it
It was without doubt the worst Christmas of my life
Full of tears and sadness instead of happiness and laughter
There was no wondrous Christmas feast
No table laden with Christmas delights
No hearty laughter or light hearted banter
Just an endless stream of visitors, friends and family
As cheery as was possible, putting on a brave face
All coming with forced smiles to bring the seasons greetings
But all leaving with tears knowing she would not see the spring
I know I sound ungrateful and I’m not really
But every visit ate into the precious time Linda and I had left
I knew how important it was to Linda to see everyone
Even the doctor called in to make sure she was comfortable
And in between visits I would sit watching the needles dropping from the tree
As if each dropping needle symbolized Linda’s plight
And as I sat alone in my favorite armchair on New Years Eve
Staring at the pine needles scattered beneath the tree
I tried to come to terms with the fact that Linda would die with the old year
Since Christmas Eve when she made her request
Linda had been in good spirits
She had seen everyone in the world that mattered to her
And said all the things she needed to say
So Linda had decided that morning that enough was enough
I tried to remain cheerful for her but she could see through it
“I know you’re hurting too” she said the pain etched in her face
And with that we made our plans for our last day together
I phoned the nurse telling her she should have the night off
To enjoy the celebrations with her family
She was very grateful and accepted my explanation without question
I filled the room with lighted candles and in the flickering light
Linda and I spent the evening together looking at photographs
And reliving the great times of our life together
We played the music that formed the soundtrack of our lives
Then an hour before midnight she handed me the folded handkerchief
I opened it and inside were now close to twenty capsules
One by one I broke them open emptying the contents into a wine glass
I filled the glass with Port and gave it a stir
And I put the glass on the bedside table before sitting on the bed
Then I took her hand and kissed it and lent forward and kissed her mouth
I started to say good bye but she put her hand to my mouth
Then I reached over and picked up the glass
And held it up to her lips and she took a drink
Then a little more and a little more until the glass was empty
I wiped her mouth with the hanky and she burped
And she laughed that wonderful laugh
The candles sputtered and the flames flickered
Then she said “I love you so very much” squeezing my hand
“I love you too” I said as I sat holding her hand in mine
And then we just sat in silence looking at each other until her eyes closed
The Village clock began chiming the hour
Her hand went limp and her breathing became shallow
And then all the pain in her face was suddenly gone
The clock chimed twelve marking the passing of the old year
And also unknowingly marked Linda’s passing
I don’t know how long I sat there holding her dead hand
With the tears streaming down my face
But as I sat there I knew what had to be done
I poured myself a large whisky and sat in my favorite armchair
Where I wrote a long letter explaining what I had done
And what I was about to do
With the letter written I put it into an envelope
And placed it on the mantelpiece where it would be easily found
Then I drank my whisky and reached into my pocket
And removed the contents placing them on my lap
Then I filled the syringe with the insulin I had stolen from the doctor’s bag
And injected myself with the full syringe
And as my eyes grew heavy I could feel Linda’s hand on my shoulder
And felt her fingers in my hair as I drifted into a coma
And she whispered “I love you” in my ear as my eyes closed
When my eyes opened again I couldn’t believe what I saw
It was a place that was familiar to me and it was snowing
And the street was full of happy smiling people
And there amongst them was Linda larger than life, vivacious and self assured
Covered with snowflakes and laughing
My snow angel, my Christmas Linda
With snow covering her like sugar on a doughnut
Wrapped up against the cold in a woolen hat and coat
And a long knitted scarf draped about her neck
She shook her head and her light brown hair danced about her shoulders
And the snowflakes fell away from her soft curls
Only to be replaced by fresh ones
There was a rosy redness on her cheeks and she was young again
We were both young again and we had gone back 50 years
She threw herself at me and hugged me tightly
I smelled her hair as I held her and was intoxicated by her scent
We were stood at the taxi stand and snow fell onto Linda’s soft curls
We took our place in the queue and we kissed
All too soon a taxi arrived but this time we both got in
And through the winter wonderland we departed this time never to be apart again
Paul Curtis  230
11-02-2007 11:00 AM ET (US)
BREATHLESS

My elderly maiden aunt
Suffers terribly from asthma
And yesterday she was phoned
By a heavy breather
After an hour it was unclear
Who was the original caller
Paul Curtis  231
11-02-2007 11:01 AM ET (US)
TOY BOY

My teenage daughter
Bless her heart came home today
With a Yoyo
I think she said his name was Ray
Paul Curtis  232
11-07-2007 08:41 AM ET (US)
3 O’CLOCK ALARM CALL

My son is a student
And he still lives at home
But he seems to drink more than he studies
And when he comes home at 3 in the morning much the worse for drink
He cannot differentiate between the bathroom and my wardrobe

My father has Alzheimer’s
And he still lives at home
He spends most of his time in a state of confusion
And when he gets up at 3 in the morning to answer the call of nature
He cannot differentiate between the bathroom and my wardrobe

I am at the end of my tether
I wish I didn’t live at home
Unfortunately I still have to work for a living
Yet I wake up at 3 in the morning to find my son, my father or both
In my wardrobe peeing in my shoes
Paul Curtis  233
11-07-2007 08:42 AM ET (US)
PREMATURE FALLASY

Premature ejaculation is a myth, a fallacy
Or more appropriately it’s a phallus-y
Ejaculation is only premature for a woman
Because it’s bang on time if you are a man
Paul Curtis  234
11-07-2007 08:42 AM ET (US)
SORE POINT

One of the guys was off sick yesterday
He had a sore throat well that’s what he says
But he was seen in a pub trying to cure it
By pouring pints of lager down it
   235
11-22-2007 09:32 PM ET (US)
Deleted by topic administrator 02-25-2008 11:12 AM
Paul Curtis  236
11-28-2007 05:56 AM ET (US)
THE STORM FRONT

The gulls screech and scream
Swooping above the cliff top
While white horses ride the waves below
As the tidal surge is broken to a stop

Fishing boats appear to dance
Driven by weather to the south
And make slow progress in the swell
Bobbing towards the yawning harbour mouth

As the weather quickly closes in
The gulls desert the cliff top
Making their way inland to safety
Waiting patiently for the storm to stop
Paul Curtis  237
11-28-2007 05:57 AM ET (US)
A WINTER NIGHT

Like a ribbon that's spun
Of the purest of silk,
The road crossed the cold bleak dale
It appeared that the frost
On the wintry panes
Was embossed with images from beyond the pale
And the winter-sky,
Lit with the moon and the stars,
Made the icicles glow in the night-
And the beauty of all
Of that December view
Was perceived in the essence of light-
And deceived by the soft...firelight.
Paul Curtis  238
11-28-2007 05:57 AM ET (US)
DO I LOVE YOU?

Do I love you?
How could I not
When I touch you
My heart beats as yours
You are the one
My other self
My virtual twin
When I breathe out
You breathe in
You are the other half of me
That makes me whole
We fit each other
Like machine cut pieces
In a puzzle of love
When I hold you
The edges of our forms blur
And we are one being
We are symbiotic
Hearts beating as one
Thinking each others thoughts
Speaking each others words
Sharing the same shadow
When I hold your hand
Our fingers merge
And become indistinguishable
We are conjoined
Do I love you?
You know I do
I always have
And always will
What else can a soul mate do?
Paul Curtis  239
11-28-2007 05:58 AM ET (US)
YPRES

Since that day
In that fateful campaign
When you stepped willingly
Upon that sodden Flanders field
And were gathered in
During that bloody harvest
Your future was no more

Since that day
In that fateful campaign
When you stepped out and fell
Upon that sodden Flanders field
And lay with silent comrades
During that bloody harvest
Your dreams were no more

Since that day
In that fateful campaign
When you stood and were counted
Upon that sodden Flanders field
And lay in the company of hero’s
During that bloody harvest
Your hopes were no more

Since that day
In that fateful campaign
When you were called to god
From that sodden Flanders field
With hordes of silent comrades
During that bloody harvest
You could love no more

Since that day
In that fateful campaign
Others lived to fight another day
From that sodden Flanders field
And when the cost was tallied
After that bloody harvest
The world was changed forever

Since the day the peace was one
Others ventured out in the world
And thrived in a world for ever changed
A world you helped to change
You could not reap the rewards
You could never again walk in the sun
Or Feel a cooling breeze upon your face
You gave your life for others futures
You fell to fulfill others dreams
Your sacrifice secured others hopes
Since you fell others have loved
And been loved in return as you could not
When you fell upon that sodden Flanders field
You sowed the seed of freedom
When the fragile seedling bore fruit
It changed the world forever
Paul Curtis  240
11-28-2007 05:58 AM ET (US)
A TIME TO REMEMBER

It was an unforgettable morning
After the winter sun reluctantly rose
And the new dawn broke gently
To light the frosted landscape
And heralding the holy morn
Bathing cosy homes with light
Awaking children from their repose
As grown-ups wipe sleep away
Or tiredly yield to a yawn
And so the day has begun
Joyful yells and screams ensue
As gifts are opened frantically
Wrappings scattered here and there
It was an unforgettable morning
Though soon enough it became forgot
And as the day progresses
The latest must haves cast aside
Attention turns to the Christmas feast
When eyes are bigger than bellies
And indigestion comes on all
How different to the first morn
When in a strange and distant land
Lit by a star of brightest hue
And sheltered in a humble stable
God lay in human baby form
Watched over by lowly beasts
And shepherds stood in reverent pose
Three travellers from the east
Offered gifts to God made man
So as you enjoy your seasonal repast
Take time and spare a thought
Raise your hearts and a grateful glass
And remember the saviour’s birth
Paul Curtis  241
12-03-2007 08:43 AM ET (US)
JUST ANOTHER DAY AT THE OFFICE

Christmas at the office
Is just like any other day
Let’s face of it
You end up doing all the work
And the fat guy in the suit
Gets all the credit
Paul Curtis  242
12-03-2007 08:43 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS WITH THE BROWNS

Every Christmas day is the same
The Browns come round for lunch
I dread the time as it approaches
There a bloody awful bunch
He’s an opinionated git
She’s a loudmouthed fishwife
Their kids run amuck unchecked
Causing trouble and strife
They drink all my booze
And eat every crumb of food
They’re uncouth and vulgar
Obnoxious and just plain rude
They are a truly horrible family
I wish I could show them the door
They have no redeeming features
God I hate my brother in law
Paul Curtis  243
12-03-2007 08:44 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS CHEER

I went to the pub with my brother
For a Christmas, lunchtime drink
While my wife cooked the dinner
And washed up at the sink
We got thrown out at 4 o’clock
Full of Christmas cheer and gin
We got home ready for Christmas lunch
And found it in the bin
Paul Curtis  244
12-04-2007 07:44 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS POST

Mildred went to the post office
To buy stamps for her Christmas cards
“What denomination do you want?”
She was asked by Mr Everard
“That’s political correctness gone mad,
Has it come to this?” said she
“You’d better give me a book of Catholic
And a book of C of E”
Paul Curtis  245
12-04-2007 07:45 AM ET (US)
SHOP EARLY FOR CHRISTMAS

It was Christmas eve at the magistrates court
And the Magistrate was in charitable mood
And In keeping with the season
Was inclined to show a little latitude
"Now then, what is the charge against you?"
He asked the unfortunate prisoner
The man in the dock replied
"I was caught Christmas shopping very early sir"
"That doesn't seem like an offence to me.
What do you mean by “very early” man”?
"Well, your Honour." said the defendant,
"It was an hour before the shop was open."
Paul Curtis  246
12-04-2007 07:47 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS SERVICE

It was a bitterly cold and bleak Christmas morn
And had been snowing heavily since before the dawn
And for the morning service the waiting minister
Was eventually joined by just one solitary farmer
The clergyman said “Well even though it’s Christmas day
I don’t suppose there's no point in having a service today.”
The farmer replied “Well that's not quite how I see it.
If only one cow turns up at feeding time, I still feed it.”
Paul Curtis  247
12-05-2007 05:50 AM ET (US)
OH WHAT A LOVELY GIFT

My mum got me a jumper
That fits what it touched
My sister got me novelty socks
That didn’t cost very much
My dad got me a Philishave
To shave between my spots
My Nan got me a scarf
And a box of jelly tots
But it’s the identity
That I would like to know
Of who got me the condoms
Tied up with a bow
Paul Curtis  248
12-05-2007 05:51 AM ET (US)
SATAN RULES KO

If you’re a worshiper of Satan
And you suffer from Dyslexia
Take care before you commit
You may sell your soul to Santa
Paul Curtis  249
12-05-2007 05:51 AM ET (US)
FATHER AND CHRISTMAS

What do a Christmas tree
And a priest have in comparison?
The answer is simple to see
Their balls are just for decoration
Paul Curtis  250
12-10-2007 09:04 AM ET (US)
THE HOLY INFANT

In the presence of the lowly beasts
The prince of peace was born
And to his earthy joyous cries
They bowed low head and horn
The Shepherds stood in wonder
As the child they stood before
The child the angel told of
Lay before them in the straw
Countless miles the Magi came
Having traveled from the east
In lavish robes they knelt before him
And bowed lowly like the beasts
Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh
Were lain reverently before his stall
Precious gifts brought from afar
For the holy infant born for us all
Paul Curtis  251
12-10-2007 09:05 AM ET (US)
A GIFT FOR MARIA

A young man called Paul
Wanted to buy a present
For his new sweetheart Maria
As a Christmas present

As they’d not been dating
For a very long duration
He decided to purchase
After careful consideration
A nice pair of gloves
striking the right note
Not too romantic or personal
So the gloves got his vote

Accompanied by Maria’s sister
He went to Harrods and bought
A dainty pair of white gloves
“She will like these” he thought

Maria’s sister Susan bought
A pair of panties for herself
But during the wrapping
An error was made on the shelf

The assistant mixed up
The gloves and the panties
The sister got the gloves
And Maria got the scanties

Without checking Paul sealed
The package along with a note
And sent it to his sweetheart
And this is what he wrote

Dear Maria, I chose these
As I noticed my darling
That you don’t wear any
When we go out in the evening.

If not for your sister Susan
I would have got long ones
The type with the buttons,
But Susan wears short ones
That are easier to remove.
They are a delicate shade,
But the shop assistant
where the purchase was made
Showed me the pair she has
That she’d been wearing
and were hardly soiled
After three weeks wearing
I had her try yours on for me
And she looked really chic
Even though they were
Tight on her a little bit.

She told me that her pair
Helps to keep her ring
Clean and shiny, and in fact
And this is interesting
Since she’d begun wearing them.
It hadn’t needed washing

I really hope you like them
And wish I were there with you
To put them on you Maria
for the first time I really do

As no doubt many other hands
Will have touched them
Before I see you again
Remember when you remove them
To blow into them before
Putting them away and drying
As they will naturally be
A little damp from wearing
 
Just think how many times
My lips will kiss them
during the coming year.
I hope you will wear them
For me on Friday night
All my love Paul till then

P.S. The latest style
Which appears to be growing
Is to wear them folded down
With a little fur showing
Paul Curtis  252
12-10-2007 09:05 AM ET (US)
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS # 2

I don’t want a present
That’s very practical
Or a gift home made
Or something musical
Something for wearing
Thoughtful or twee
Things for the garden
Or things fragrant or smelly
Nothing expensive when
The value is shocking
I just want something shapely
In a Christmas stocking
Paul Curtis  253
12-12-2007 07:36 AM ET (US)
THREE WISE ONES

The three wise men
Traveled for days before reaching Bethlehem
And arrived after the birth
They stood and viewed the scene in awe
And knelt reverently in the lords presence
Then gave their gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh

The three wise women
Would have stopped to ask directions
And arrived before the birth
They would have delivered the baby
Then they would have cleaned the stable and cooked a meal
Before giving the baby really useful gifts
Paul Curtis  254
12-12-2007 07:36 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS ALPHABET

Angels from on high
Behold we bring news
Christ is coming
Do not be afraid
Emmanuel is coming
Follow yonder star
Go to Bethlehem
Hosanna God be praised

In the town of Bethlehem
Jesus was born
Kneeling shepherds before him
Lowing beasts in attendance
Magi from the east
Noel, noel, noel

On the first morning
Peace came to the world
Quelling fear and pain
Rekindling the light
Saviour son of God
The prince of peace was born
Uniting the world

Verily the most
Wondrous of times
Xmas festival of love
Yule tide of good will
Zion brought to earth
Paul Curtis  255
12-12-2007 07:37 AM ET (US)
GREETINGS TO THE WORLD

“Happy Christmas” is what I chose to say
But many greetings are used for the day
To one and all during the festive season
And different languages are the reason
Say "Frolyke Kerstfeest" or "Joyoo Noel"
"Felleeth Navidad" even "Glaydlig Yool"
"Kalla Kristoogenna", "Boo-on Natarlee"
"Boas Festas" or "Sheng Dan Kwhy Lee"
You could say "Frerlicker Vine-akten"
Or maybe "Roshdesrom Kristovim" then
So you can say it in very many ways
But please never say “Happy Holidays”
Paul Curtis  256
12-14-2007 07:31 AM ET (US)
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS # 1

Well I only got a sweater for Christmas
Not the best thing to get for a dreamer
Because I got a sweater for Christmas
When I wanted a moaner or a screamer
Paul Curtis  257
12-14-2007 07:32 AM ET (US)
HAPPY CHRISTMAS AUNTIE PEGGY

For Christmas I bought my Auntie
A brand new wooden leg
I didn’t have it specially made
No I just got it off the peg
You may say it’s not a nice gift
Or even that it’s a killer
It wasn’t her main present though
It was just a stocking filler
Paul Curtis  258
12-14-2007 07:32 AM ET (US)
THE NOT SO GREAT WAR

“Your country needs you,” said Kitchener
You’re needed to fight them over there
 “It will be over by Christmas,” they said
But it was just getting started instead
In the cold trenches on Christmas morn
The guns remained silent after the dawn
Soon forgetting the horrendous conditions
Men began emerging from their positions
The opposing soldiers met in no mans land
Then smiled and shook their enemies hand
Briefly at peace both sides felt regrets
Then they exchanged gifts of cigarettes
A day without a single shot fired at all
They even got to play a game of football
Sadly the men returned their own way
They began killing again on Boxing day
Paul Curtis  259
12-17-2007 08:43 AM ET (US)
MARTIN LUTHER BLING

There is a legend suggesting that Martin Luther
Who was a sixteenth century religious reformer
And founder of the Protestant church in Germany
Was the first to put candles onto a Christmas tree
It’s said he was walking home one winter’s night
When he noticed the stars were shinning bright
And through the tree’s he saw the twinkling light
And he was so impressed by this majestic sight
When he returned home he set up his Christmas tree
Decorating it with lighted candles for all to see
Paul Curtis  260
12-17-2007 08:44 AM ET (US)
A SAINT IS FOR LIFE NOT JUST FOR CHRISTMAS
 
Often the true meaning of Christmas passes us by
The night the holy star appeared bright in the sky
Christmas celebrates the birth of Christ the savior
But others are also remembered at this time of year
St Lucia’s day is on the thirteenth day of December
In fourth century Sicily Lucia was a virgin martyr
Lucia means “light” very apt for a Christmas saint
She is also called upon to cure any eye complaint
St Thomas’s day is on the twenty first of December
The shortest and darkest day in our modern calendar
Traditionally the poor would all go out “thomasing”
For wheat flour and other Christmas “goodening”
Not the first saint you’d associate with Christmas
He is perhaps better known as “doubting Thomas”
Because he at first questioned Christ’s resurrection
He is patron saint of the carpenter and stone mason
On the twenty-six of the month St Stephens day falls
Boxing Day or the feast of Stephen in hallowed halls
Chosen by the disciples to help spread Christianity
He was put to death by the zealots for his profanity
The most famous Christmas time saint of all must be
St Nicholas the Bishop of Myra now a part of Turkey
He was a very shy man and the kindest man to know
When he threw coins through a poor family’s window
They landed in a stocking hanging over the fire to dry
So that’s where it all began if you ever wondered why
Paul Curtis  261
12-17-2007 08:44 AM ET (US)
VICTORIOUS CHRISTMAS PIE

In the nineteenth century
At Christmas time
The old queen, Victoria
Gave, to her senior staff
And closest friends
A specially commissioned
Victorian Christmas pie
An extraordinary example
Of culinary magnificence
The pie consisted firstly
Of a woodcock
Small and plump
Which was then stuffed inside
A well hung and gamey pheasant
Which in its turn
Was stuffed inside
A fat corn fed chicken
As if this was not enough
The chicken itself was then
Stuffed into a huge Turkey
Until Finally
The great weight of fowl
Was placed upon a dish
And surrounded by special stuffing
And baked beneath
The richest pastry crust
Paul Curtis  262
12-18-2007 07:52 AM ET (US)
HIS GIFT

For the lowly beast in the stable chill
And the humble shepherd on the hill
Wise and wealthy Magi from the east
The purpose of every Christmas feast
Is to rejoice and feel your spirits lift
Exchanging love when exchanging gift
For when Jesus lay in that stable stall
He gave us his love, the greatest gift of all
Paul Curtis  263
12-18-2007 07:53 AM ET (US)
THE WORSHIPFUL MORN

The bells of Christmas ring out clear
On the special day across the land
Family and friends come together
With warm embrace or shake of hand
Then together answer the call to enter
The happy faces of young and old
Of those occupying every seat or pew
In the church bedecked in green and gold
Lifted the heart and warmed the soul
The glad ragged and dapper dressed
The cheerfully demeanoured little girls
And little boys with hair unmessed
All come together on Christmas day
To share the celebration and rejoice
To mark the birth of the baby lord
Love and peace heard in every voice
As in harmony the congregation sing
Heartily in praise of Christ the King
Paul Curtis  264
12-18-2007 07:54 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS MORNING
 
Heralding the special day
As sweet undisturbed the cherubs lay
Early as Christmas day is dawning
The birds sing out on Christmas morning
Halleluiah, halleluiah cheer
Christ the savior’s day is here
And as awakes every little dear
One by one the lights appear
Yellow light piercing the darkness
Like stars populating heavens blackness
Until every house across the land is lit
To make a constellation to quite befit
A celebration across the earth
To celebrate the Christ Childs birth
Then with giggles and boisterous shout
The whirlwind kinder sets about
The present sack with great delight
Throwing paper to the left and right
And when they see the gifts inside
They’re open mouthed and wide eyed
Then peace restored after the early rout
The church bells call, the bells ring out
Good morning they seem to say
Merry Christmas on this special day
With purposeful step and a happy heart
We make our way to play our part
To give hearty praise and uplift
Rejoicing at the first Christmas gift
Paul Curtis  265
12-18-2007 07:55 AM ET (US)
HARBINGER OF YULE

The advent calendars
Are first to appear
Heralding the headlong rush
Toward Christmas cheer
On trees baubles reflect
Flickers of candle light
From Novembers end
Right up to twelfth night
Paul Curtis  266
12-18-2007 07:55 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS CANDLE

Candle light of beauty
Adorning church and alter
None excluded from Christ’s love
Darkness brightly conquered
Light of Christ illuminating
Everlasting light of life
Paul Curtis  267
12-19-2007 11:29 AM ET (US)
DOB?

In Rome a monk living about 530 ad
                   A mathematician and an astronomer
Was given the task of calculating
                   And reforming the Christian calendar
In essence to pin point with all precision
                   The date of Jesus Christ’s birth exactly
A miscalculation was discovered later
                   He was four years out unfortunately
Christ was born on January the sixth
                   According to the scholarly Egyptians
The date of Christ’s death was thought
                   More important to the early Christians
Rome selected Christ’s birth date to be
                   On the twenty fifth day of December
To coincide with the old pagan festivals
                   Like that of Mithras and Saturnalia
The sixth of January is Christmas day
                   For the apostolic church from Armenia
But its the following day that’s Special
                   For the Orthodox Church of Russia
Paul Curtis  268
12-19-2007 11:30 AM ET (US)
MEDIEVAL CHRISTMAS PIE

For the wealthy landowners
In medieval times
Food was plentiful
At Christmas time
And A few days before the holy day
The kitchen at the manor
Would begin their preparations
First a huge pasty case was made
For a special festive pie
Into the bottom of the huge pastry case
Went enormous amounts of forcemeat,
This was ground beef and lamb
Heavily seasoned with salt and pepper,
On this were placed boned and boiled hens,
Rabbits, Ducks and assorted game birds
Another layer of forcemeat was added
Then marrow, hard boiled egg yokes
Currants, prunes and dates
Spices such as cloves and saffron,
Mace and cinnamon
Finished off the ample filling
It was then covered
With the huge pastry lid and baked
And such a feast was had
The poor were less fortunate
Unless they had a goodly lord at the manor
But bad masters were
As plentiful as the feast
And so Christmas for the poor
Was often less than merry
Paul Curtis  269
12-19-2007 11:31 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS RULES

Our Christmas fare
Tables heaving
Cupboards overflowing
Contrasts starkly
With our foreign brothers
With meager bowls
Of meal or rice
How would they react?
To our gluttony

The homeless survive
On handouts
Of soup and bread
Or half eaten burgers
Discarded in bins
Sleeping in doorways
Or In cardboard boxes
With news paper bedding

Should we feel guilt?
For having more than they
For our good fortune
No we shouldn’t
But we should not forget them
We should spare a thought
For the less fortunate
And be charitable
A kind word or deed
Celebrate Christmas
By Christ’s rules
Paul Curtis  270
12-19-2007 11:31 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS SHOCKING

Well worn festive tunes
Blare out
Hapless faces
Stare out
Faces strained
Bemused, Confused
Lists gripped tight
Pens ticking or deleting
Then onward
Loaded trolleys
Wildly steering
Zig zagging
Aisle to aisle
Every item
Must be had
Gin for her
Beer for dad
Chocs and cakes
Chops and steaks
Turkey, stuffing
Nuts and fruit
Frozen this
Prepacked that
Pop and juice
Something’s loose
Everything ticked
On the tight gripped list
Nothing missed
Merry Christmas wished
Hundreds of pounds
Of Christmas bought
The festivities can begin
Relax in the knowledge
The shops will only be shut
For twenty four hours
Paul Curtis  271
12-20-2007 05:48 AM ET (US)
NICE

Making your way in life, it’s nice
To know you can, once or twice
Rely on other people in a trice
For assistance, guidance or advice

They’ll be no shortage of advice
But knowing what piece or slice
Of advice or guidance will suffice
You might just as well roll a dice

This axiom though it be concise
Won’t be bettered to be precise
So you take heed or pay the price
“Don’t eat yellow snow or ice”
Paul Curtis  272
12-20-2007 05:48 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS JAMMING

I sit in my car on a December day
In the evening rush hour on a Friday
Rain pounds on the roof of my car
As I sit in a jam not getting very far
Just sitting motionless in the traffic
Late home again, that just terrific
Bright red taillights fill my view
The light’s of other cars in the queue
I see Looking to my left and right
The twinkling of a Christmas light
The queue edges forward very slowly
Then I reach the junction eventually
Twenty minutes just to get this far
I see the blue light of a police car
I don’t believe it I could explode
The police have only shut my road
I still don’t know what’s to blame
As now I go back the way I came
All the way home I rant and rage
Growling like a wild beast in a cage
Rush hour and my spleen is vent
Shutting the road is so inconvenient
The reason for delay I still can’t see
But I do make it home eventually
I shout at the kids taking off my hat
I moan at my wife and kick the cat
I look at my dinner with total disdain
Dried up the gravy now just a stain
On Monday I relate my tale of woe
And my problems with traffic flow
A colleague of mine who lived locally
Knew the details and informed me
And then with shame I was filled
A woman was run down and killed
A week before Christmas she had died
A happy Christmas for her was denied
A poor young woman had lost her life
Somebody’s lover somebody’s wife
She was both a daughter and mother
Mourned by two sister’s and a brother
Bells ring out on Christmas morning
Bells ring out for a family mourning
Christmas bells ring out in glory
To celebrate the Christmas story
I spent Christmas with my family
With my heart so full of sympathy
I felt so ashamed at my selfishness
Angry impatient and thoughtless
I confess I behaved so irrationally
Just because I was late home for tea
When next I’m in a jam I’ll remember
Any time from January to December
I shall keep things in true perspective
And my thanks to God I shall give
No matter how slowly I have to drive
If I’m sitting in a jam I’m still alive
Paul Curtis  273
12-20-2007 05:49 AM ET (US)
FALL OF THE SNOWMAN

Here is a thought of little worth
Snowmen start their fall to earth
From Heaven above unassembled
And like a snow globe it resembled
But if a snowman were then desired
Some assembly would be required
Paul Curtis  274
12-20-2007 05:49 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS FARE

There has never been a good time to be poor
Certainly not Christmas
As Dickens wrote
“This time when want is keenly felt by the poor”
And there has never been a good place to be poor
Certainly not Victorian London
Now a wealthy Victorian family
Would dine upon a Christmas dinner
Of Vegetable soup
Oyster patties,
Roast turkey or goose,
Boiled leg of mutton with caper sauce
Followed by Port wine jelly,
Mince pies and plum pudding
Queen Victoria is known to have eaten roast swan
While in the country
A piece of Smoked bacon
Or rabbit pie was had
The poor in town or country
Dined upon what ever could be found
Paul Curtis  275
12-20-2007 05:50 AM ET (US)
KIDS DON’T UNDERSTAND CHRISTMAS

All children think
Christmas just happens
But parents work tirelessly
To bring it about
Months in the planning
Putting things away
Things to add to a special day
Shopping and wrapping
Dressing and decking
Super market shopping
The prices heart stopping
Journeying from shop to shop
For the latest must have toy
All made worth while
To see a face lit with joy
Paul Curtis  276
12-20-2007 05:50 AM ET (US)
THE SANTA CLAUSE

When I was a child
I believed in Santa Claus
When I got older
I didn’t believe in Santa Claus
When I became a parent
I was Santa Claus
Now I have grandchildren
I look like Santa Claus
Paul Curtis  277
12-21-2007 07:14 AM ET (US)
IT’S CHRISTMAS

People have been discovering
On a Christmas Morning
That the curse of Christmas
That’s causing the most fuss
Has been unanimously concluded
To be “Batteries not included”
Paul Curtis  278
12-21-2007 07:14 AM ET (US)
JOSHUA, JOSHUA

“God with us,” or Emmanuel
“A savior”
In Hebrew called Joshua
In Greek the name was Jesus
“The chosen one”
In Hebrew called Messiah
In Greek named Christ
Jesus Christ
The Son of god
A Jew Born in the Roman Empire
Given by God to the world
For two thousand years
Not known by a Latin name
But known by all by his name in Greek
Paul Curtis  279
12-21-2007 07:15 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING

It was Christmas Eve closing time, nearly
Where a last minute shopper, frustrated clearly
Was rummaging through the freezer cabinet
At her nearest out of town super market
Desperately searching for a frozen turkey
And couldn't find one big enough for her family
Then she saw a young shop assistant pass by
And decided that she would give him a try
"Do these turkeys get any bigger?" she said
Puzzled he replied "No madam, they're dead."
Paul Curtis  280
12-21-2007 07:15 AM ET (US)
SEASONS GREETINGS

Tis the festive season
Of goodwill and reason
For the politically correct
The dithering and the direct
For the clubs and the cliques
And tedious control freaks
For the anal retentive's
And their many representatives
For council house yobs
And the inverted snobs
Those with professional jobs
And intellectual snobs
For the easily offended
And the over complicated
For the vile and the venomous
The overt and the anonymous
Snake in the grass vipers
And Back stabbing snipers
To the tarts and the vicars
And those in disposable knickers
For all poetry scrawlers
And the unpleasant name callers
For the narrowly minded
And those with axes grinded
For the loud minority
And the silent majority
For blondes and brunettes
And all lads and laddettes
Those pierced and tattooed
And the prim and the lewd
For the bright and the bland
And the humble and the grand
For those who are pretentious
And the liberal consensus
Every class hew and breed
Every persuasion and creed
Whether ungifted or artistic
And the mentally arthritic
For the first and the last
And sense of humour bypassed
For those with rhyme and reason
So in the spirit of the season
Now the year is nearly done
Merry Christmas everyone
Paul Curtis  281
12-21-2007 07:16 AM ET (US)
A MAN FOR ALL SEASONS

Now once more
The year has turned
The advent candle
Long since burned
Hearts darken
As we count the cost
And the season’s spirit
Is all now lost
But it need not
All be dark and gloom
Light can again
Illuminate the room
So here is a philosophy
For all of us
God is for life
Not just for Christmas
Paul Curtis  282
12-22-2007 05:38 AM ET (US)
HAPPY STRESSLESS

A good friend of mine
Does his Christmas shopping
In less than two hours
With decs for party popping
And Gifts for twenty five
Friends and family
All on Christmas Eve
Including a six foot tree
Paul Curtis  283
12-22-2007 05:39 AM ET (US)
TIME FOR CHRISTMAS

At last I have some time to spare
No more work until the New Year
Its nearly Christmas so beware
The weather's bitter so have a care
Peace and goodwill and never fear
A wish for one and all for the coming year
Paul Curtis  284
12-22-2007 05:39 AM ET (US)
WHO’S THE NEW GUY?
 
A tenth reindeer flew in Santa’s team
One unknown pulling Santa’s sleigh
We know the names of nine of them
Including Rudolf leading the way
So who was the mystery number ten?
Twas Rudolf the brown nosed reindeer
Flew behind his red nosed brother
But he couldn’t stop as quick I fear
Paul Curtis  285
12-22-2007 05:40 AM ET (US)
CROMWELLIAN

The lord protector Oliver Cromwell
Killed thousands, the truth to tell
Beheaded the king and closed hostelries
And he cancelled the Christmas festivities
Paul Curtis  286
12-23-2007 04:30 AM ET (US)
OH NO HE ISN’T

My great uncle John was an actor on the stage
Who was best known as a pantomime dame
Famous for his ugly sister and widow twanky
But not anymore which is a great shame

He has gone to that great pantomime in the sky
No longer will he don grease paint and his regalia
I will still see him though from time to time
Because he’s not dead he’s just working for Ryan air
Paul Curtis  287
12-23-2007 04:30 AM ET (US)
CHIMNEY NOOK

The next time you complain
At the lack of Christmas nookey
Spare a thought for old St Nick
And have a little sympathy
For he only comes but once a year
And then he’s up a chimney
Paul Curtis  288
12-23-2007 04:31 AM ET (US)
THE HONEST SANTA FAIRY
 
A sorry old drunk is walking
Down the street one morning
Together with Santa Claus
The tooth fairy and of course
Honest John the Solicitor
When suddenly on their tour
At the very same moment
They spot on the pavement
Someone’s discarded wallet
So who was it who got it?
The old drunk obviously
Because all of the other three
Only exist in mythology
Paul Curtis  289
12-24-2007 02:47 PM ET (US)
HOOK

There is something puzzling me
As it doesn’t say in the book
Before his hand was taken
What did they call captain hook

It’s a difficult one to answer
Maybe he was evil captain fist
Or was he called captain two hands
Not really a very menacing list

And was it simply irony, mere chance
Or was his accident planned
For if not for the crocodile
He would have remained a deck hand
Paul Curtis  290
12-24-2007 03:15 PM ET (US)
EMPTYING SANTA’S SACK

One Christmas Eve on a roof top up on high
A poor soul stands shouting up at the sky
He has lost his job and his wife has left him
And the size of his overdraft is quite grim
Finishing his rant to god he shuts his eyes
Then he leaves a note saying his good-byes
He walks up to the edge ready to jump off
He stops when behind him he hears a cough
Father Christmas asks him "are you ok?"
And the man tells him the details of his day
He again walks to the edge of the rooftop
Then Father Christmas shouts, "please stop!"
“It’s Christmas so I’ll give three gifts to you
And I will have a small task for you to do”
Santa Claus says, “let me help you please”
The poor man is in such despair so he agrees
"That would be wonderful thanks,” he said
Father Christmas told him what was ahead
Firstly go home to your wife who is there
Waiting dressed in her sexiest underwear
Longing for you and begging forgiveness
She wants only you and your fond caress
And as for the recent loss of her affection
She will have absolutely no recollection
Secondly go into work after the holiday
Sit at your desk and work the same way
Your salary will have been well increased
Nobody remembers your employment ceased
Thirdly when you check your bank account
And you will be in credit by a large amount
The man is thrilled "oh thank you, thank you!"
Then said, “what is it that you want me to do?"
“Drop your trousers and then bend down”
The man is unsure agrees but wears a frown
Santa Claus gave him a brutal buggering
Leaving the poor man with eyes watering
Afterwards Santa asked, “how old are you?”
The man replied “actually I’m forty two”
 “Your too old to believe in me by quite a bit”
Said the fat gay bloke in the Santa outfit
Sam Curtis  291
12-24-2007 03:16 PM ET (US)
COOL YULE

Last day of school,
Kids say “that’s cool”
Angel’s wings
Shepherd brings
Presents for Jesus
Rudolf sneezes
Everything is frosting over
Even my car made by “Rover”
Reindeer fly
But I can’t fly
But I have cream on my
Hot mince pie
But I still get a lift
When I get a gift
Paul Curtis  292
12-24-2007 03:17 PM ET (US)
SUPERSTITIOUSLY WHITE CHRISTMAS

If on Christmas day
Snow fall is seen
Then come Easter
Everywhere be green
Paul Curtis  293
12-24-2007 03:18 PM ET (US)
FIRST CHRISTMAS

It was just twelve months ago
Since my special wish was made
A wish you thought so simple
For which a fortune I'd have paid
And now it's our first Christmas
In our first little house
But I hope the first of many
With my beautiful new spouse
This year my wish is simpler still
On this Christmas day with you
May our hearts be always filled with love
And the stockings be filled with you
Paul Curtis  294
01-15-2008 07:00 AM ET (US)
THE GOOD CITIZEN

I am twenty one years old
And was raised in the proper way
To abide by the laws of land
And to live by the rules every day

I was raised to apply common sense
To any action I might make
And to use my own judgment
And not to fear making a mistake

I was raised to respect myself
And respect others at the same time
I was raised to respect the law
And not to resort to crime

I was raised to think for myself
And given the tools to do so
I was taught the right from wrong
And how to behave and how to say no

I loved my life and I was happy
I had a good job which paid very well
A large circle of great friends
And a shiny new car I called Annabel

So when I went to a party with friends
To celebrate a twenty first birthday
I drove their in my beloved Annabel
And drank only coke to my friends dismay

I remembered what I was taught
And I didn't drink and drive
Despite pressure from my piers
I made a conscious choice to stay alive

I had a good time at the party
And I was proud of myself for my stance
I had a good time at the party
Though friends teased me for my abstinence

All too soon the party ended
And we hugged and kissed our goodnights
Then we all went our separate ways
I got into Annabel and turned on the lights

I drove off safe in the knowledge
I had done the right thing staying dry
I observed all the speed restrictions
Not realizing I was soon about to die

I’m standing on the roadside
And see my broken body on the ground
Poor Annabel is smashed to pieces
With men in uniforms all around

A young man was led away in handcuffs
It seems he was a drink driver
All his passengers were also dead
He was drunk and the only survivor

If he had been taught as I was
I would not now be lying dead
If he had been taught as I was
The road would not be coloured red

In my short life I was a good person
I was a good daughter to my parents
A good sister to my young brother
And good to my friends and confidents

There is so much I will now never do
My life will never be fulfilled
I was a good citizen until today
When through selfishness I was killed
Paul Curtis  295
01-15-2008 07:00 AM ET (US)
WHEN I’M SIXTY FOUR

When I’m sixty four
And your back goes out more than you do
I will still love you
When I’m sixty four
And your ears are hairier than your head
I will still share your bed
When I’m sixty four
And you and your teeth no longer sleep together
I will still be your lover
Paul Curtis  296
01-15-2008 07:01 AM ET (US)
A GOOD SPORT

If you are thinking of taking up a sport
Then here’s a thought
If you are going to try cross-country skiing
This is what I’m thinking
Make sure you are well equipped to ski
And start with a small country
Paul Curtis  297
01-21-2008 07:51 AM ET (US)
ONCE UPON A TIME
 
Once upon a time
One day long, long ago,
There lived a woman who you will not know
A remarkable woman
No man has ever known
Who did not whine, nag, bitch or moan
But this was a long, long ago
And it was just ONE day
And that’s all this fairy tale has to say
Paul Curtis  298
01-21-2008 07:52 AM ET (US)
IT’S THE DOGS…. ONCE AGAIN

George loved his wife Elsie dearly
They’d been married 40 years nearly
George loved her from the very first look
But sadly Elsie was a desperate cook
To her great credit it didn’t deter her
From preparing a variety of fare
One day she served something cordon bleu
Which caused George to sit and stare
It was truly awful even just to look at
Some burnt, some raw and swimming in fat
Reluctantly he took a taste of the presentation
And gave it to his dog without hesitation
Then immediately after eating some
The dog started licking at his bum
“Why is he doing that?" she said in disgust
As the dog did what all dogs must
George replied quite straight faced
“He’s trying to get rid of the taste”
Paul Curtis  299
01-21-2008 07:52 AM ET (US)
HEALTH CLUB WARNING

I joined a health club last year
It cost two hundred pounds so quite dear
I haven’t lost a single pound
So as an investment not very sound
But it wasn’t their fault to be fare
Because apparently you have to go there
Paul Curtis  300
01-28-2008 09:12 AM ET (US)
EXERCISE PLAN

My wife wants me to start taking exercise
But not for my own sake to be plain
The only reason she wants me to exercise
Is so she can hear heavy breathing again
Paul Curtis  301
01-28-2008 09:12 AM ET (US)
MENOPAUSAL MONITOR

George was unhappy
With his wife’s erratic mood swings
And his work mates
Told him of the benefit s of mood rings
So he went out a bought one
So he might monitor her mood
He had his reservations
And he thought the idea quite crude
But when she was in a good mood
The stone in the ring turned bright red
And when in a bad mood
It left a huge bruise on his fore head
He came to the conclusion
That he would throw away the mood ring
And try a new tack
Such as buying her a diamond ring
Paul Curtis  302
01-28-2008 09:13 AM ET (US)
A QUESTION OF HEALTH

If you stopped taking exercise
When you got your first TV remote
And you haven’t eaten lettuce
Since Maggie Thatcher got the vote
If you haven’t seen your feet
Since you were at primary school
And you think that a microwave
Is actually a power tool
If you think that alcohol
Is itself a food group
And you eat more crispy croutons
Than you do low calorie soup
If you answered yes
To any part of this questionnaire
Then someone is reading this
Too you in intensive care
Paul Curtis  303
02-05-2008 08:14 AM ET (US)
I THANK THE LORD ABOVE

I thank the lord above
As I stand in the quiet of the morn
And when spring lambs are born
For the fields so full of flowers
And the peace of the twilight hours

I thank the lord above
For the blueness of the sky
And for a new born babies cry
For the smell of summer rainfall
And the joy of a songbirds call

I thank the lord above
When winters shroud is on the land
And when I take my beloved’s hand
When my lovers face is all aglow
And when we make angels in the snow

I thank the lord above
As I stand at the alter with my bride
And when I look at her with pride
When I stand together with my wife
I thank the lord for my life
Paul Curtis  304
02-05-2008 08:21 AM ET (US)
OH MOTHER NATURE

Oh mother nature
You both care and nurture
Bursting out in spring,
When the songbirds sing
Bringing daffodils so bright
To fill me with delight,
They shine with ease
Bobbing in the breeze
Dancing as if one
As golden as the sun
Blossom fills the trees
Bright enough to tease
Before the blossom has to go
Like cherry pink snow
And after spring hors d’oeuvres
And starters have been served
You bring us summer fare
With fragrance in the air
Flowers of every shade and hue
From crimson red to violet blue
Then as September wends
And the main course ends
You take no time to rest
Giving the bounty of the harvest
Paul Curtis  305
02-05-2008 08:21 AM ET (US)
BLUEBELL GIRL

I am transported back
To a distant place and time
When I was only twelve
The world was changing
And I saw it with new eyes
And I recall her sweet face
When I first saw her in the wood
Gathering wild bluebells
Sun shinning on the golden strands
Of her silken hair
As it danced on her shoulders
The beautiful bluebell girl
Moved about the wood
Then she stopped and noticed me
Deep blue eyes smiling at me
In the innocence of childhood
And she captured my heart
Though twenty years have passed
She keeps it still
Paul Curtis  306
02-09-2008 02:34 PM ET (US)
QUIET PLEASE

If you are a City fan
Keep silent if you can
As you stand at Old Trafford
As silence falls in accord
Please don’t speak out
Please don’t scream or shout
Acknowledge the silence
For those who lived once
Don’t think about the “Babes”
Cold and dead in the carnage
If hatred in your heart and head
Stops you honouring United’s dead
Give your silence as a gift
In remembrance of Frank Swift
Paul Curtis  307
02-13-2008 06:48 AM ET (US)
BE MY VALENTINE # 1

On Valentines Day
The valentine card said to the stamp
Stick with me and we'll go places!
While the farmer gave his wife
Hogs and kisses!
And the caveman gave his wife
Ughs and kisses!

BE MY VALENTINE # 2

On Valentines Day
The chocolate syrup said to the ice cream
"I'm sweet on you!"
While the pencil said to the paper
"I dot my i's on you!"
And the light bulb asked his girlfriend
Do I mean a whole watt to you?"

BE MY VALENTINE # 3

On Valentines Day
The bat said to his girlfriend
"You're fun to hang around with."
And the paper clip said to the magnet?
"I find you very attractive."

BE MY VALENTINE # 4

On Valentines Day
The nearsighted porcupine
Fell in love with a pin cushion!
And the elephant said to his girlfriend
 "I love you a ton!"

BE MY VALENTINE # 5

On Valentines Day
One pickle said to the other
"Your love means a great dill"
Even skunks celebrate Valentine's Day
Because they're very scent-imental!
Paul Curtis  308
02-13-2008 06:52 AM ET (US)
BUT THAT WAS BEFORE LOVE DIED

We walked together in the spring
When our love was a new thing
And the cherry trees were in blossom
And we thought life was awesome
Our hearts were so full we sighed
But that was before love died

In the summer we walked together
In the fine and sunny weather
Through fields of golden corn
When we parted we were forlorn
We felt a burning passion deep inside
But that was before love died

In the autumn we walked abroad
And our hearts were of one accord
We wandered thought the golden gown
And nothing could ever get us down
We felt as one when side by side
But that was before love died

When winters chill fell upon the land
We still walked together hand in hand
We played in the snow like children
Making snow angels again and again
I even asked her to be my bride
But that was before love died

We had walked hand in hand
As a life together we planned
We sat beneath a leafy oak
As of true love we spoke
We loved laughed and cried
But that was before love died

Now I walk alone in the familiar places
Where we enjoyed our fond embraces
Where we kissed and spoke of tomorrow
Places that now bring me only sorrow
Her love made me feel alive inside
But that was before love died
Paul Curtis  309
02-13-2008 06:52 AM ET (US)
LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

I was drawn to her
Like a moth to a flame
My eyes were drawn to her
Slender frame
Her hypnotic green eyes
Deep and intense like precious emeralds
Held me entranced,
Paralyzed like a serpents prey
Her skin was lustrous
Like a fresh picked peach
And her cheeks glowed
With the faintest hint of red
Her mouth opened
Lips like the petals of an open flower
Were moist as if with morning dew
She spoke, her words soft
And her voice smooth as silk
Mesmerized me like music
I answered her without hearing the words
It was almost dreamlike
My heart beat fast in my chest
As I swam in and out of reality
I felt her hand in mine
And she led me into the garden
Where we strolled together
Through the fragrant twilight of moonbeams
Her scent was heady as the exotic blossom
Of orchids in spring
My heart still pounded
As her mesmeric voice
Like an angels whisper
Led me on through the moonlight
I seemed to float through the evening
Almost disembodied
And in those many magical moments
I surrendered my heart and soul
To the vision named Clarissa
Paul Curtis  310
02-20-2008 06:35 AM ET (US)
DON’T FORGET ME

Don’t forget me, now I’ve gone
But remember me in happy ways
Don’t dwell on all the sadness
Bring to mind those special days

Don’t wipe me from your memory
But don’t grieve now I’ve passed
Remember all the good times
And the joy from good days past

Don’t be lonely now I’ve gone
My life ended yours did not
Find happiness where you can
I’m happy knowing I’m not forgot

Don’t forget to visit my grave
But only do it on a sunny day
Don’t stand at my stone in the rain
Blow me a kiss then walk away

So mark the passing of me well
But don’t shed too many tears
Gather friends and family round
Raise a glass to me with “cheers”
Paul Curtis  311
02-20-2008 06:36 AM ET (US)
BLUE TO GREY

Where once the sky was blue
Now are only clouds of grey
Where once the golden sun shone
Now darkness fills the day

Where once we walked together
Now I must walk alone
Where once was warmth
Now is cold like stone

Somewhere beyond the clouds
Does blue still fills your sky
And does the golden sunshine
Make you shield your eyes

Do you walk the path alone?
Or is there another at your side
Is your life still full of warmth?
Or does coldness with you abide

One day I hope you will return
To make my grey sky blue
And to warm me with your sunshine
So I can walk loves path with you
Paul Curtis  312
02-20-2008 06:37 AM ET (US)
ROBIN THE HOODY

Robin the Hood
Robbed from the rich
And gave to the poor
A noble with a noble cause
A lovable rogue, full of charm

Robin the Hoody
Robs from the rich
And also from the poor
The lowest of the low, who snorts
The proceeds up his nose
Or sticks it in his arm
   313
02-23-2008 04:48 AM ET (US)
Deleted by topic administrator 02-25-2008 11:12 AM
Paul Curtis  314
02-25-2008 09:08 AM ET (US)
COME WITH ME NOW

At his bedside
The gentle angel stood
Watching as he slept
Listening to his quiet shallow breath
Then the angel softly spoke
And reached out a hand
“Your time has come to see the lord”
“Come with me now”
Then he slept no more
And he left his empty body
Taking the offered hand
The angel smiled and they began to ascend
To a better place and time
Traveling upward through a tunnel
Toward a light becoming ever brighter
Its brightness became almost blinding
Until with the angel he emerged
Into the land of light and love
The angel left him with a smile
With those who had passed before
Familiar faces greeted him
Loved ones from years past
Who showed him round heavens paradise
Where milk and honey flowed
Scenes of unimagined beauty met his eye
And the sweetest perfumes filled the air
Music was everywhere invading every pore
From simple refrains to grand symphonies
Musicians played on instruments of gold
While choirs of angels sang
But the most overpowering feeling
That assailed his senses
Was of everlasting love
Paul Curtis  315
02-25-2008 09:09 AM ET (US)
IF NOT FOR….

If not for sweet birdsong in tree and bush
How plain the spring seasons headlong rush
If not for the daffodils trumpets of gold
How sad the passage to new from old
If not for your sweet presence by my side
Spring would hold no joy, as sadness would reside
Paul Curtis  316
02-25-2008 09:09 AM ET (US)
GOLDEN YEARS

It was fifty years ago when I first saw her
And I fell for her beauty and her charm
And now in the autumn of our years
I’m still proud to have her on my arm

How long ago it was when we were young
When every minute we were parted
Was full of the agonies and torment
And time alone left us broken hearted

I could have composed wondrous symphonies
And written lofty ballads to her name
I could have written the sweetest love songs
And never expressed what are love became

I would have crossed the wildest seas
And walked on coals to be at her side
I would have slain the fiercest dragon
And fought duals to win her as my bride

I proclaimed my love to her as everlasting
And I told her we would always be together
Through thick and thin, good times and bad
Through calmness and through stormy weather

How my heart soared as the church bells rang
When at the alter she stood and said I do
Now after fifty summers and fifty winters
The love I proclaimed still holds true
Paul Curtis  317
03-10-2008 12:14 PM ET (US)
THE GINGER PRINCE WENT TO WAR

Harry is the spare, not the heir
So he chose to follow a military career
And the ginger Prince went to war
Amidst muck and bullets, blood and gore
He is a braver man than I by some way
It’s a shame the press gave the game away
Now the prince is coming home again
To the land of his grandmothers reign
For as he bravely faced the Taliban
There were dangers for the princely man
For even under the pale winter sun
He had to wear factor ninety one
Paul Curtis  318
03-10-2008 12:14 PM ET (US)
IN GOD’S NAME

In God’s name, for centuries
They waged their holy wars
Singing songs to God
As they march in their corps

In God’s name, across the years
From home to foreign shores
Tit for tat acts of religious hate
Are used to settle scores

God’s names, Jehovah, God or Allah
Differ only by rules and law
Although God by any name
Does not encourage acts of war

In God’s name, even to this day
They are prepared to fight and die
And beneath their holy banners
They use God as a battle cry

In God’s name, war is waged
And for every soul who dies
God sits on his throne in heaven
With sadness in his eyes

In God’s name, preach only peace
God is there for all humanity
In Gods name, put down your swords
His gift is love to all who see
Paul Curtis  319
03-10-2008 12:15 PM ET (US)
LOVES EXQUISITE ACHE

Oh to feel loves exquisite ache
That desperate longing
That naked want
Feeling so alive in the torment
While craving the fix
Of that heady foaming brew
To quench the thirst of desire
And when that significant soul
Who holds my captive heart
Is but a kiss away
I am dragged from sorrows
Unfathomable depths
And bitter anguish evaporates
Like dew in the morning sun
And euphoria fills every pore
And in that perfect ecstasy
That blissful state of love
I remain until I am again alone
Paul Curtis  320
03-18-2008 09:06 AM ET (US)
HEAVENLY BODIES

The sun gifts us
With warmth and light
Endowing and sustaining
The green earth with life
Then when day is done
After the setting of the sun
The Moons silvery disk appears
Boldly bright through its phases
And stars are liberally sprinkled
Across the curtain of night
These gifts from God
Make our days complete
Paul Curtis  321
03-18-2008 09:07 AM ET (US)
JOURNEY

I have left you now my love
To make my final journey
Don’t break your heart
Don’t grieve for losing me
Remember all the good times
When we were young and free
Speak your prayers aloud
In fond remembrance of me
And when your journey is made
I will be the first one you see
Paul Curtis  322
03-18-2008 09:07 AM ET (US)
CAUGHT IN A STORM

The sky blackened
Dark as night
Then comes the flash
Of a Lightning strike
As the storm ensued
Panic struck me
Thunder rattled overhead
I fell upon me knees
I prayed to God
Spare me this day
I prayed to God
To chase the storm away
Then the skies lightened
And silence was all around
A gentle rain fell
As I raised from the ground
Then everywhere about me
Cherry blossoms blew
Like gentle pink snow
And immediately I knew
You had heard my prayer
You had protected me
You where there in every petal
Of that cherry blossom tree
Paul Curtis  323
04-01-2008 11:15 AM ET (US)
GIRL WITH A PEARL EARRING
 
With exquisite touch
His brush added lustre
To the pearl
Endowing it with life
As it adorned the virgins ear
The depth of its splendour
Holds the watcher transfixed
With its ivory hue
Contrasting with the maidens flesh
Her milky complexion
Lit from the window
Her half open silent lips
Speaking to the soul
Her simple beauty
Shining from the canvas
How Vermeer the master
Captured that moment in Delft
And how the girl with a pearl earring
Captures everyone who sees her
Paul Curtis  324
04-01-2008 11:16 AM ET (US)
MONEY CAN’T BUY EVERYTHING

Money can’t buy happiness
Money can’t buy health
Money can’t buy love
There’s more to life than wealth
Money will buy you a dog
A fine dog without fail
But only with your kindness
Will the dog wag his tail
Paul Curtis  325
04-01-2008 11:16 AM ET (US)
BEASTS OF THE AGE

Where once was beauty
Now stand the monsters
Towering tall and lean
Arms stretching outwards

These beasts have spread
Across the land and sea
Like a virulent rash
Reaching out to infinity

The towering beasts
Came here to save us
Cleanly making power
Without dirty green house gas

They stand as sentinels
Unsightly and offensive to the eye
Come to save the world
With their clean power supply

In light offshore breezes
Windmill arms turn slowly
It’s a shame they can’t work
When it gets a bit blowy
Paul Curtis  326
04-18-2008 07:14 AM ET (US)
CYCLE OF LIFE

God’s great cycle of life’s repeating
Springtime’s annual event occurring
As distant mountain snow is thawing
Fast flowing swollen rivers causing
Dormant Mother Nature awakening
The miracle of new life into breathing
With freshly sprouting shoots arriving
And simple sights the senses pleasing
To see the early cherry blossoming
Perfection as in God’s design believing
Paul Curtis  327
04-18-2008 07:14 AM ET (US)
ODE TO A YOUNG STUDENT

If success you will achieve
Do not ever flatter to deceive
Apply yourself with valiant effort
To gain the important good report
The way side is littered with the failed
Whose non commitment has prevailed
Don’t aim to highly but do your best
Then let your confidence do the rest
Paul Curtis  328
04-18-2008 07:15 AM ET (US)
I’D DO ANYTHING

“I’d do anything” how apt a title
A motto for the wannabee
A catch phrase for the starstruck
And all those lacking dignity
Paul Curtis  329
05-08-2008 11:10 AM ET (US)
MR & MRS ATM
 
No need to park your car
Before withdrawing your money
There is now a drive through ATM
For people in a hurry

Mr ATM drives up to the cash machine
And before putting his card in
Winds down his window
Then types in his PIN
Enters the cash amount required
Retrieves card, receipt and cash
Winds up his window
Then off he can dash

That’s simple enough I think
They’ve made it as easy as they can
The procedure isn’t hard
Though clearly designed for a man
Unfortunately the machines
Are not exclusively for men
And that is the only problem
With a drive through ATM

Mrs ATM drives up to the cash machine
Stops then reverses the car
Then drives forward once more
Because she backed up too far
With the car window now aligned
With that of the ATM
She applies the parking brake
And is ready to begin
She grabs her handbag
And tips out everything
Onto the passenger seat
To find her card holder thing
She tells her best friend
She will call her back later
Then hangs up the phone
And finds her debit card holder
She tries to insert card
Then winds down her window
She tries to insert card
Then leans out through the window
Because of the great distance
Separating the two of them
She opens the car door
So she can reach the ATM
She inserts her card
The machine makes a bleeping sound
She re-inserts her card
The right way round
She rummages in her bag
To find her PIN
And finds her diary
That has the number written in
At last she is ready
And she enters her PIN
Then she press’s cancel
And enters the correct PIN
She enters the cash amount required
Retrieved her cash and receipt
Then checked the state of her hair
When sitting back in her seat
She empties her handbag again
And with her purse located
She places the cash inside
And the debit amount is duly recorded
She checks her makeup in the mirror
Then drives forward about a yard
Before reversing back to cash machine
Where she retrieves her card
She empties her handbag again
And locates the card holder
Then places her card into it
And checks her hair in the mirror
She redials her friend on her mobile
And gives the irate male driver
A really dirty look
For impatiently waiting behind her
She pulls away from the ATM
Stops and restarts the stalled engine
Then drives for five miles
Before finally releasing the hand brake again
Paul Curtis  330
05-08-2008 11:15 AM ET (US)
MIDDLE AGED SEAT

I’m in my middle years now
And my new car is a wow
It’s fast, new and sporty
Just the opposite of me
It is sleekly lined
With its curves well defined
It has a nice interior
The leather is quite superior
My only complaint would be
The bucket seats you see
As they are made to the design
Of a smaller bucket than mine
Paul Curtis  331
05-08-2008 11:16 AM ET (US)
I’D DO ANYTHING, REPRISE

Just another in a long line
Of talent shows from hell
Just another TV concept
Ringing out its death knell

But how clever is the Lord
To have the dear old BBC
Foot the bill for the auditions
Out of the TV license fee

Then the members of the public
Who vote as they view
Get to Pay via the phone-ins
For the shows advertising too
 
Messages 332-333 deleted by topic administrator between 05-17-2008 10:14 AM and 08-12-2009 02:05 AM
Paul Curtis  334
05-20-2008 04:11 AM ET (US)
THE UNKNOWN SOLDIER

Was it the organisation?
That was to blame
Or profiteering retailers
Perhaps too greedy
Pubs and clubs to liberal?
Uninterested in consequences
A faulty screen was a factor
In the ensuing conflict
But all of the above played a part
So technology caused the spark
And Alcohol fuelled the flames
What began with scuffle and skirmish
Erupted in a volcano of hate
And then the battle commenced
As the angry and the drunk
Rampaged through the city
The police were mobilized
To quell hostilities
But hopelessly out numbered
They had to withdraw
They fell back to regroup
Pursued by packs
Of blue clad animals
In the mêlée
A lone officer, a tail ender
Already wounded by a bottle
Stumbled and fell before his pursuers
They quickly surrounded him
And kicks rained in on him
But amidst this madness, this carnage
A rangers fan, an army man
Hauled the stricken officer to his feet
And dragged him away from the fight
At first stunned the thugs looked on bemused
Then they charged on
Urged on by the soldier
The officer ran muscles burning
But for the soldier propelling him along
The officer would have fallen
Then sanctuary was in sight
A police van sat invitingly
But they must run on
The soldier yelled encouragement
The officer responded
As they reached the police van
The officer was pushed into the back
And a line of yellow coated police
Swarmed onto the attacking rangers phalanx
And in that instant the soldier was gone
Where did he go, the Good Samaritan
Who was he? This savior
The soldier whose humanity
Surpassed his baser instincts
Will we ever know who he was?
Or where he came from
Should we try to find him?
To heap glory on him
Or should we just thank God for him

May 14th 2008
The events following the UEFA Cup final at the City of Manchester Stadium
Paul Curtis  335
05-20-2008 04:12 AM ET (US)
GOOD BYE TOMMY

Good bye Tommy
Celtics gentleman
Respected by professionals
Respected by the fans

Good bye Tommy
Celtic servant and friend
A rock and pillar
Until your early end

Good bye Tommy
High in our esteem
The Celtic angels now
Have a new man on the team

Tommy Burns Died May 15th 2008
Paul Curtis  336
05-20-2008 04:12 AM ET (US)
WHO PUT THE GER IN ANGER

Waves of Rangers blue
Relentlessly Attack
Wave upon wave
Push their opponents back

But this valiant effort
This Rangers blue tide
That moved with precision
Pushing opponents aside

Did not happen in the stadium
Nor was a ball at their feet
This game took place
On Manchesters city streets

The Waves of Rangers blue
With alcohol fuelled Fight
Brought to bear upon the police
Their vengeance and their spite

But if during the match
Such passion had been on show
Then the uefa cup
Might have gone to Glasgow

May 14th 2008
The events following the UEFA Cup final at the City of Manchester Stadium
Paul Curtis  337
05-22-2008 09:49 AM ET (US)
A LIGHT IN THE DARKNESS

The despot Robert Mugabe
The thorn in Africa’s side
Is not what the world envisaged
At the end of the apartheid

What hope then for the continent
When such men prosper
Ruling with a fist of iron
Colder still than the white oppressor

Yet there will always be hope
Even if the good number but a few
When God puts upon the earth
A man like Desmond Tutu
Paul Curtis  338
05-22-2008 09:50 AM ET (US)
THE DEVIL IN THE SKIES

From the dark cloudless skies
Comes the engines droan
Of that unseen and menacing evil
In grim formation flown
Then comes the sirens song
Telling of impending death
As the city looks skyward
Holding a collective breath
Long beams of light
Searched out the evil flock
Criss-crossing the darkness
In every quarter of the clock
Towards the shelters
The civilian’s ant like scurry
As the guns began desperately
Trying to stop the enemy
Fire and death rains down
Upon the weary populace
In macabre equality
The walks of life feel deaths embrace
As buildings fall to the ground
In rubble and dust
Life and history instantly erased
After the bombs combust
Then come the sirens again
Calling out loud, all clear
And from underground
The jaded survivors reappear
To count the cost
Of the night at the gates of hell
Then thanking God
For keeping them safe and well
Gaps on the ravaged skyline
Missing Churches and hostelries
Fire still burns where once stood
Homes and factories
Hoping against hope
That their home survived the night
But despite all this
They never thought to give up the fight
Paul Curtis  339
05-22-2008 09:52 AM ET (US)
MENOPAUSE FOR THOUGHT

There is a natural order in life
There are rules to be understood
For example bearing children
There is a time limit on motherhood
The term “child bearing years”
Was coined for a very simple reason
So that everything in life
Can have its time and season
A Woman over fifty is ill equipped
To show a baby proper care
As she would put the baby down
And then forget where
Paul Curtis  340
05-22-2008 09:52 AM ET (US)
SWEET MYSTERY

For Valentines Day
My husband, so sweet
Bought hand made chocolates
For me as a treat
In a flower covered box
Came the delicious confection
But I am at a loss to answer
A most curious question
How can two pounds of chocs
So delicious on the lips
Manage in just one night
To put 5lbs on my hips
Paul Curtis  341
06-09-2008 07:56 AM ET (US)
BRITAIN’S GOT TALENT

Britain’s got talent
Of that there’s no doubt
Britain’s got talent
The secret is finally out

Britain’s got talent
In depth and variety
Britain’s got talent
For every one to see

But apart from talent shows
And the Royal Variety
There is no outlet
For these acts on TV

Where it not for Blackpool
And Lakeside in Frimley
There would be no outlet at all
For our wonderful variety

So Simon Cowell
Master of the TV franchise
Give us more variety on TV
As a feast for our eyes

Britain has got talent
An unseen depth of it
But it doesn’t matter
If we never get to see it
Paul Curtis  342
06-09-2008 07:57 AM ET (US)
BEAT THE DRUM TO THE LIBERALS TUNE

The liberal minded
Like a parade
They like to march
They like to engage

Beat the drum
To end the war
They’ll tell you
That’s what freedoms for

Ban the bomb
Free Tibet
No more Trident
End third world debt

March in the city
For gay pride
And every liberal
Is on your side

If you’re so inclined
Join the throng
March in unison
And sing the liberal song

But bang the drum
And blow the horn
For patriotism
And feel their scorn
Paul Curtis  343
06-09-2008 07:57 AM ET (US)
RIP OFF BRITAIN

What mugs we all are in the UK
With the amount of tax we have to pay
We’re taxed on what we earn at work
We’re taxed on every little perk
Then when we spend our pay
They take some purchase tax away
Very little is exempt from VAT
It’s even on a cup of tea
Even coffee and juices fruity
If you smoke you pay tobacco duty
Then the unkindest tax of all
Duty on every form of alcohol
If you can afford a new car today
There is an even greater price to pay
With seventeen and a half percent more owed
Then you’re taxed to keep it on the road
And you pay Tax on your fuel at the garage
Then in the city there’s the congestion charge
Then there’s a new tax to be faced
Parking the car at your workplace
You’re taxed for the policeman on the beat
And for the lighting in the street
Then Airport taxes for our holidays
We’re even taxed for what we throw away
If we buy or sell a house today
There’s not one tax but a whole array
We’re even taxed on the money we save
We’re taxed from the cradle to the grave
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06-17-2008 04:37 AM ET (US)
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asd  345
07-03-2008 08:47 PM ET (US)
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07-03-2008 08:48 PM ET (US)
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wer  347
07-03-2008 08:49 PM ET (US)
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Paul Curtis  348
07-04-2008 06:38 AM ET (US)
THE FOURTH

The fourth of July in the USA
Is that nations independence day
Which they celebrate with a holiday

In England we look across the pond
At a nation of whom we are truly fond
Indeed we feel we have a special bond

From when they won their independence
We’ve watched like anxious parents
And they’ve done quite well since
Paul Curtis  349
07-04-2008 06:38 AM ET (US)
ONE, TWO, THREE, LIFT

Why is it sound engineers?
When there’s a gig to do
And they have to test the system
Say one two, one two, one two
And at the end of the gig
When there’s packing up to do
They don’t have any testing
But they’re nowhere in view
I think sound engineers
Can only count up to two
Because if they counted up to three
There would be heavy lifting to do
Paul Curtis  350
07-04-2008 06:39 AM ET (US)
LIBERALLY HUMEROUS?

Don’t you just love them?
If only for their belief in equality
Or a love of all things PC
And an unswerving moral certainty
It’s a shame that to become a liberal
A sense of humour bypass is necessary
Paul Curtis  351
07-17-2008 11:20 AM ET (US)
I COULD NOT WEEP FOR HIM

I could not weep
When he was diagnosed
And I feared the worst
Or when the false smile appeared
And he feared it too
And put on a brave face

I could not weep
As I sat at his side
His hand once as strong as atlas
Now to weak to grip
Weak like a babe
More so

I could not weep
As I watched the frown
Furrowing his weathered face
Grey, expressionless
And as his frown faded,
As the morphine took control

I could not weep
As he lay motionless,
Breath shallow
Silent, almost
But for the occasional groan
Beneath the morphine

I could not weep
At his deathbed
As the monster within
Crept through his organs
Hastening the end
For him and for itself

I could not weep
As his muscles relaxed
And the pain was no more
As he exhaled his last
And his soul passed
When he was at peace

I could not weep
Not because it wasn’t macho
Nor for lack of love
It was perhaps numbness
Or a need to be strong
For family, others

I could not weep
When my father died
When he released his grip on life
And I kissed him goodbye
I felt only relief
That his suffering had ended

I could not weep
Not even at his funeral
When all who loved him gathered
And we shared memories
Even when the curtains drew
I could not weep for him

Fourteen years later
On a cold December morning
I held my first born son
And amidst the tears of joy
I wept for him
As I held his grandson
Paul Curtis  352
07-17-2008 11:20 AM ET (US)
A NOTIONAL MOTION

Toast always lands butter side down
It’s a rule of locomotion
And a cat always lands on its feet
Now here is a curious notion
If you tie the toast to the cat
Would that result in perpetual motion?
Paul Curtis  353
07-17-2008 11:21 AM ET (US)
TITTER YE NOT AMY

The pop diva Amy Winehouse
It was announced in the press today
Is to buy Frankie Howard’s old house
After she’s been to rehab for a short stay
She was told she had to go to rehab
Though she said nay, nay and thrice nay
Paul Curtis  354
09-04-2008 05:58 AM ET (US)
TITTER YE NOT AMY rewrite

The pop diva Amy Winehouse
It was announced in the press today
May stay in Frankie Howerd’s old house
if Amy’s Mum manages to get her way
Her mum told her she has to go to rehab
But Amy said nay, nay and thrice nay
Paul Curtis  355
09-04-2008 05:59 AM ET (US)
SUMMER SEASON

The summer started oh so well
With a Euro football banquet
Though sadly the home nations
Were unable to attend it
But the Euros inevitably led
To the curse of footie nations
The summer transfer market
And the incessant speculation
After the Euros came Wimbledon
And I cheered on the plucky brit
Then suffered our inclement climate
While being bored by the Cricket
I watched the windblown whingers
Hacking round at the British open
Then courtesy of the highlights
I sat and watched it all again
Then more newspaper talk
Of who will stay and who will go
Who is in and who is out
And more stories about Ronaldo
Two weeks away on the costas
Helped to numb the pain
Then home to more paper talk
And of course more summer rain
Even the upcoming Olympics
Fail to give me inspiration
Thinking of all that track and field
Merely deepens my depression
The only thing to break my torpor
And to rejuvenated my heart
Is to hear that shrill whistle blow
And have the football season start
Paul Curtis  356
09-04-2008 05:59 AM ET (US)
CRASH LOCATION

On the M25 just beyond Dartford
She lost control of her car and crashed
Hitting the barrier with great force
Then came rest with the car smashed
It happened close to where she lived
She was nearly home, not far to go
But she sat trapped in her crumpled car
Covered in blood from head to toe
The paramedic attending the crash
Examined her as a matter of urgency
But apart from the blood covering her
He was at a loss to find any injury
“Where are you bleeding from?”
He asked the girl in the battered Ford
Slightly annoyed the girl responded
“I’m from bleeding Romford”
Paul Curtis  357
09-04-2008 06:00 AM ET (US)
KNIGHTS OF THE ROAD

Mild mannered and the meek
Shy and too embarrassed to speak
No goose hears them say boo
They are hardly noticeable to you
Then they get into a car
And safe behind the wheel
They are transformed
Those once quiet and retiring
Calm and rational people
Are now fearless, bold and brave
Safe in their steel boxes
That they wear like armour
Quarantined from the world
In their metal machines
They make manifest into beasts from hell
They become possessed
Morphing into deranged sociopaths
From Mogwai to gremlin
Those once too shy to speak
The humble and the tame
Now bellow obscenities
Foul and nasty profanities
To all and sundry
Dispensing venomous rebukes
Like Georges dragon breathing fire
They drive like crazed charioteers
Set loose from the hippodrome
They cut you up
With last second maneuvers
Changing lanes, jumping lights
Leaving chaos in their wake
They sneer at authority
Swear and gesticulate
No one is safe from them
The old lady at the crossing
A group of school children
A priest or a nun
No one is safe from their wrath
Then safely at their destination
Parked in another’s space
They exit the car
And are meek once more
Paul Curtis  358
09-04-2008 06:00 AM ET (US)
COMPLIMENTARY MEMBERSHIP

It was early morning
The sun was barely up
I knew because I saw it rise
I had lain in the darkness
Awake and aware for hours
Unable to sleep
Uneasy in my mind
Fearful of what maybe
Helpless in the face of events
Powerless to influence them
Just too far away
A continent away
Then I saw darkness slip into gloom
Then from gloom to glory
And in that glorious dawn light
I listened to world awaken
With all the sounds of first light
The chirruping birds
Of the dawn chorus
A milk float on its way
Clinking and rattling
Joe next door heading for work
Early turn this week
Then so I didn’t want to hear
The sound I was dreading
Beside me on the night stand
The telephone rang
A numbing fear gripped me
And for a moment I was frozen
Unable to move
Powerless to answer it
It’s never good news
Not at the crack of dawn
Good news always waits
Until a decent hour
When the telling of it can be savoured
And the listening appreciated
Good news was delivered with coffee
And consumed with tea
Good news did not come
With the breaking day and the dawn chorus
Only bad news came so early
Bad news never waited
There was no reason to wait
Bad news had no good time
It just had to be delivered
The phone rang again
And the fear released its grip on me
And I picked up the phone
The conversation was short
Its contents concise
It was the news I was expecting
Dreading, fearing
It was confirmed
I was now a member of the club
Sadly not an exclusive group
Quite indiscriminate in its selection
A club few wanted to join
But whose ranks are unshrinking
I had friends in the club
My wife was even a member
As was my boss
There was no shame in it
No social stigma
But I would have given anything
To have been excluded
To be denied admittance
To have my enrolment
Delayed for 10 or 20 years
Or even a few precious days
Just one short day, not even a whole day
Just a few hours over my travelling time
This is not an uncommon reaction
I am reliably informed
To resist membership
It’s not a club you want to join
After all no one chooses to join
The dead Dads club
Paul Curtis  359
09-15-2008 07:05 AM ET (US)
MY LOVE # 1

If comeliness was a race
You’d win a medal
If sweetness was an event
You’d be on the podium
If loveliness was a sport
You’d win the gold
You are really terrific
My love for you is Olympic

MY LOVE # 2

You are warmer
Than a summer day
You are cooler
Than ice cubes in a tray
You are sweeter
Than raspberry sorbet
You are as refreshing
As the ocean spray
You are perfect
In every single way

MY LOVE # 3

At the retail Olympics
You’d get your blue
You will always win
The race for shoes
If shopping were a sport
You couldn’t lose
You have a winning way
But I won you
Paul Curtis  360
09-15-2008 07:06 AM ET (US)
THE ROAD TO OBLIVION

As a school kid
It was cider first
Then as a student
Wine came second
Then as a worker
The vodka came third

But it doesn’t stop there
So have a care and beware

Out every night
Drinking trebles
Never slowing down
Even seeing double
They never slow down
Never have a single

But it doesn’t stop there
So have a care and beware

Before breakfast
One eye opener
Mid morning at the office
Two snifters in the loo
A liquid lunchtime
Three large ones do it

But it doesn’t stop there
So have a care and beware

The lost weekends
Come first
Then the tremours
Follow a close second
Cirrhosis of the liver
Takes its place in third

But it doesn’t stop there
So have a care and beware

I’m only a social drinker
The first denial
I can stop if I want too
The second denial
I’m in control of the drink
The third denial

But it doesn’t stop there
So have a care and beware

In a gutter covered in vomit
Not for the first time
Coming round in casualty
More than the second time
Surrounded by medics
No way back the third time

It stops there
Paul Curtis  361
09-15-2008 07:07 AM ET (US)
THERE IS SOMETHING ABOUT A CELLIST

There's something about a cellist
That really turns me on
A female cellist obviously
In a low cut evening dress
Of emerald green velvet
The great polished instrument
Between her long black stockined legs
Her long brunette hair
Dancing across her naked shoulders
Brushing her alabaster skin
In frantic rhythm to her playing
As she delivers her rendition
To a largely disinterested audience
Sat in the lavish surroundings
Of a grand hotel lobby
A pale willowy figure called Deidre
Purposefully thrashing out a piece by Elgar
Or playing some uplifting Vivaldi
Maybe some Mesmeric Schubert
Or music to slash your wrists by
Courtesy of Mahler or Wagner
The music itself is unimportant
Ok its not cellists that turns me on
But there's something about Deidre
That definitely does
When she's playing the cello
Paul Curtis  362
10-10-2008 07:11 AM ET (US)
GRANDDADS GLORIOUS HARVEST

As late summer
Heads towards the autumn
Great industry is evident
In the golden fields
As the tireless farmers
Gather in nature’s bounty
And come days end
The weary labourers
Tread across the fields
Once full of waving corn
The fields now adorned
With flaxen structures
These sons of the soil
Look upon the scene
With pride and relief
Pride in a job well done
And relief at finishing
While the good weather held
They head towards the village
With heads held high
And parched throats
Soon to be quenched
The entire village joins them
To celebrate the gathering
Raising a glass or two
Laughter resounding
As they watch the setting sun
Paul Curtis  363
10-10-2008 07:12 AM ET (US)
HOTEL PARADISO

From their hotel restaurant
The couple sat at a table
Admiring the view
It was an unfamiliar view
With just a hint of familiarity
Like recognizing the features
Of a very distant relative
This was where the couple
Spent there honeymoon
When they were young and fearless
They were old now
Liver spotted and weary
Married when god was a boy
And the world was young
They sat in silence
Everything said before
Gazing though the window
He wondering what lay ahead
She where the years had gone
They held hands
And their eyes met
No words were spoken
But they understood
And they were content
Paul Curtis  364
10-10-2008 07:12 AM ET (US)
PARTNERS IN TIME

I held your hand
Though you did not know it
And I remembered
The first time I held it
That august day so long ago
When the magic passed between us
And I knew I had found my mate
It was such an innocuous action
We were on the train
Two travelling strangers
As it rattled its way through Surrey
You were getting to you feet
When the train lurched
And you fell back with a bump
I offered you my hand
Which you took
And the dye was cast
Our journey together began
Now your journey is nearly at its end
And I sit in vigil at your side
Where I will remain
Until life leaves your body
On that quiet final breath
I said when we were young
“I would love you all of your life
When you were still you,
Before the morphine took you
You said to me
“Will you still love me all of my life?”
With a crack in my voice I said
“No I’ll love you for all of mine”
Paul Curtis  365
10-27-2008 11:50 AM ET (US)
I’M SORRY

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
Its not you
Oh how trite is that
And I do love you
It’s just that you’re not the one
There’s something missing
There’s no electricity
I do love you
But you’re not the one

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
It really is me
And other assorted clichés
I wish you were the one
I hope you can forgive me
For the years you’ve wasted
For the love you invested in me
I wish you were the one
Thank you for loving me

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
I'll miss you and I do mean that
But I’m looking for my soul mate
And I have to look
I wish you were my great love
But we are just comfortable
Like a favorite pair of shoes
I have to look
Though I may never find her

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
I must be cruel to be kind
And other empty Platitudes
You deserve better than me
Your perfect one is out there
We all have a soul mate
I’m sorry it’s not me
You deserve better than me
That’s why I’m leaving

I’m sorry
But I’m leaving you
Please don’t cry
Just wish me luck
Because she’s out there
There should be great love
There should be sparks
Tingling and breathlessness
She is out there
I will find the other half of me
Paul Curtis  366
10-27-2008 11:51 AM ET (US)
IF I COULD WISH

If I could wish
What a wish it would be
I would wish a wish
If it were granted to me

If I could wish
I would wish for what I had
I would wish that wish
Because without you I’d be sad

If I could wish
I would wish for you
I would wish a wish
That, that wish would come true

If I could wish
And my wish came true
I would have wished a wish
To spend my life with you
Paul Curtis  367
10-27-2008 11:51 AM ET (US)
OVER THE TOP LADS

Over the top lads
Let’s do it for the King
Up and at em Tommies
Let’s do the Kaiser in

Heads up lads
Let’s show some heroism
Death to the Hun
Hurrah for Jingoism

Over the top we go
Putting aside our fears
Then the hail of shot
And we fall like tears

A generation’s youth
Drowning in the mud
Ghosts of our future
Drowning in our blood

Stout hearted we came
Beneath the Belgian sky
We came to fight for honour
Instead we fall and die
Paul Curtis  368
11-06-2008 11:18 AM ET (US)
LEADER OF THE FREE WORLD

A breath of fresh air
Comes our way
As he struts the stage
Like JFK
And talks the talk
Like Martin Luther King
As he galvanizes allies
From either wing
He holds our hopes
In his African American hands
Let’s hope he fulfils
All his promised plans
And that Barack Obama
The young congressman
Leads us as President
To Dr Kings promised land
Paul Curtis  369
11-25-2008 06:52 AM ET (US)
Deleted by author 11-25-2008 06:52 AM
Paul Curtis  370
11-25-2008 06:53 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS AT THE PEAKS

Will it be a cold Christmas?
Joyless and bleak
This year in Manchester
For Mr. and Mrs. Peak

Amanda and Philip
Robbed of their pride and joys
By a drunken fool
Who murdered their dear boys

What words will comfort
The loss of Ben and Arron
What consolation is there?
To be found as the time goes on

Fathers chums, mothers pride
Funny, studious and mild
Our hearts bleed for them
No parent should outlive a child

They bear the mental scars
Of a life that isn’t fair
While Philip still broken
Sits confined to a wheelchair

I will think of the Peaks
As I spend Christmas with my family
And give thanks to God
They are all alive with me

It will be a sad Christmas
This year in Manchester
For Mr. and Mrs. Peak
The lonely mother and father
 
Ben and Arron will be there
If only in ethereal essence
Watching over mum and dad
I know they will feel their presence
Paul Curtis  371
11-25-2008 06:54 AM ET (US)
I WILL BE THERE

Do not grieve for me
Do not mourn my passing
Remember me with a smile
Don’t think of me as gone
Remember what we had
Think of our life like a favourite book
Do not close it and put it on the shelf
Never to be read again
Just because you hate the ending
Start to write the next chapter
Enjoy it like all the others
And don’t be sad
I will be there with you always

I will be there when the wild flowers
Dance in the spring meadow
When the summer breeze moves through
A field of ripening wheat
When the morning mist of autumn
Softens the landscape
And when the winter sun
Sparkles and glints on the snow
And I will be by your side
Through your loneliest hours

I will be there in the dawn
Rising with the sun
You will see me again
When the sun sets at the days end
And in the twilight hours
I will be that gentle breeze
That caress’s your cheek
On a warm summer evening
And I will be that tingle on your skin
As you lie in the quiet hours

I will be there when you retrace our steps
And when you stand on the lake shore
My reflection will not be on the water
By I am still with you
When you walk in the autumn
Through the golden carpet
I will be in the dancing leaves
And when the snow lays
Though I will leave no foot prints
I am there for these moments our ours

I will be there in the quietness of winter
Among the falling snowflakes
I will be in the dew drops
On the grassy meadow
I will be there in the warm sunlight
Of a summer’s day
I will be with you when the storm
Quickens your heartbeat
And you will feel me on your skin
And in the April showers
Paul Curtis  372
11-25-2008 06:54 AM ET (US)
DID YOU FIGHT IN THE WAR DADDY?

Did you fight in the war daddy?
My mother asked my grandpa
He only answered shortly yes
She had picked at an old scar
She jumped for joy and hugged him
And gave out a great hurrah

Did you win the war daddy?
My mother asked my grandpa
He only answered shortly yes
She was proud of her old da
She wanted to know more
But that didn’t get her far

She was just his little girl
And didn’t know the truth
The horrors that he had seen
And all that wasted youth
But these things he kept inside
And could not say to little Ruth

The truth he could not tell her
Was that nobody won the war
Both sides were the losers
If anyone was keeping score
That was the bitter truth of it
The Germans just lost more
Paul Curtis  373
11-25-2008 06:55 AM ET (US)
AN ORDERED PEACE

An ordered peace
Now hold sway
Where once was chaos
And hell came to earth
Nature has returned
To repaint the landscape
The mud and the blood
Are of the past
The alien terrain
Featureless and without end
Are but a distant memory
The mud now green grass
And poppies grow
Red as the blood that fed them
In the savage harvest
The landscape now is neat
The birds have returned
And grace the trees unknowing
The farmers work the land
Where once the soldiers trod
National flags still flutter
Above ordered plots
For silent armies
All neat and tidy
Uniform patches
Of uniformed crosses
Serried ranks
Of white polished stone
Where lads and pals parade
With eternal regiments
wow gold  374
11-28-2008 10:45 PM ET (US)
Paul Curtis  375
12-02-2008 06:53 AM ET (US)
SNOWMAN BLUES

Out of the snowy lawn
The snowman grew
Wearing a hat and scarf
The way that you do

With pebbles for eyes
Pressed into the snow
A smiley twig mouth
And a large carrot nose

He’s a magnificent site
The snowman that grew
But he’s just snow and ice
And no substitute for you

I wish you were here
To chase the blues away
I wish you’d come back
To me for Christmas day
Paul Curtis  376
12-02-2008 06:53 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS IS A TIME OF JOY

Christmas is a time of joy
For every little girl and boy
All wishing for that special toy
That they can’t wait to enjoy

Christmas is a time of love
Given to us from the lord above
When we see with eyes of a dove
Christmas fits us like a glove

Christmas is a time for prayer
Christmas is a time to share
Christmas is a time to care
It’s also the time for festive fare

Christmas time is a special thing
A time to worship Christ the king
In his honour gifts we bring
And to the heavens high we sing
Paul Curtis  377
12-02-2008 06:54 AM ET (US)
FESTIVE FEELING

Christmas is the time for living
Spreading love with the gift giving
So at the festive time of year
Fill your heart with Christmas cheer
Paul Curtis  378
12-04-2008 10:00 AM ET (US)
I WATCHED A SNOW FLAKE MELT

We step through the door
To enjoy the seasonal fare
Chestnuts roasting in the fire
The smell of cinnamon is in the air
I watched a snow flake melt
On her glistening auburn hair
As we held hands in the soft light
Of the Christmas candle glow
Then I gave her a little parcel
Tied up in ribbon with a bow
And I kissed my first love
Beneath a sprig of mistletoe
Paul Curtis  379
12-04-2008 10:00 AM ET (US)
FULL OF THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

Come Christmas day
I will be full of Christmas spirit
Buck fizz with my breakfast
Is only the start of it
Then a sherry with the vicar
After the candles have been lit
And aperitif before lunch
Maybe Vodka or a Gin and it
Wine with every course
Brandy when the pudding is lit
Liqueur with coffee
Then more brandy as we sit
Then when the day is over
I whish shoe a ferry Hacky Fhrismit
Paul Curtis  380
12-04-2008 10:01 AM ET (US)
THROW AWAY CHRISTMAS

Cards adorned with Robins and snow
Holly sprigs and festive candle glow
Advent calendar and paper chains
Decorations never to be used again
Ribbons and bows and paper wrapping
With tree and wreath all go in the bin
Though Christmas may be throw away
The love can be recycled every day
nana  381
12-07-2008 06:14 PM ET (US)
CUANDO AY FE AY PAZ,CUANDO AY PAZ AY AM0R, CUANDO AY AM0R ESTA DIOS,CUANDO ESTA DIAS N0 FALTA NADA Y DI0S ES LA SOLUCI0N
Paul Curtis  382
12-09-2008 09:32 AM ET (US)
MY CHRISTMAS FRIEND (Acrostic)

Merry Christmas
Yuletide friend

Cherished memories of
Heartfelt love and
Remembered moments
Instantly recalled
Special moments of
Time spent together
Merry Christmas’s
And happy new years
Special friend of mine

For me always
Remembering your smile
Instantly helps me
Each time I’m down at
Not being with you
During the season
Paul Curtis  383
12-09-2008 09:33 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS CHILL

Enjoy your Christmas day in peace
Avoid any kind of quarrel or wrangle
Chill out, relax and enjoy the day
And don’t get your tinsel in a tangle
Paul Curtis  384
12-09-2008 09:34 AM ET (US)
CHRISTMAS IS FOR CHILDREN

The snow softly falls on Christmas Eve
Excitement abounds for they who believe
Children’s faces gaze out from the light
Searching for Santa in the snowy night
Then off to bed skipping across the floor
After milk and cookies are left by the door
Snuggled under covers they say “night mum”
And think happy thoughts of the day to come
They lie too excited to sleep in their beds
But sleep they do then they dream instead
Dreams of Santa Claus and presents galore
Dreams of toys and sweets and so much more
Then they awake in the early morning gloom
Squeals of delight coming from their rooms
And so another Christmas day has come
A day of love and laughter and above all fun
Paul Curtis  385
12-11-2008 09:23 AM ET (US)
MOTHER CHRISTMAS

The birth of Christ
Is the reason for the day
Santa Claus does his part
In his magical way
Rudolf and the other reindeer
Pull the loaded sleigh
Decorations and lights
Put Christmas on display
And festive songs and carols
Have a part to play
But it takes a mother
To make it a very special day
Paul Curtis  386
12-11-2008 09:23 AM ET (US)
MY CHRISTMAS WISH

Dear Santa Claus its that time once again
And not for the first time I have to complain
Last Christmas you once again failed miserably
In securing that one simple gift for me
Every Christmas I write and beg and plead
And I’ve been good, not perfect though I’ll concede
This is not the first complaint you’ve had from me
I’ve written since I was four and now I’m forty three
So once again I’m sending you my Christmas list
And ask you to fulfill my one and only wish
Please send me my own special red hot lover
Or at the very least my own significant other
Paul Curtis  387
12-11-2008 09:24 AM ET (US)
A MOTHERS CHRISTMAS TALE

I have worked for Ebenezer Scrooge all year
A man devoid of any sign of Christmas cheer
I’ve avoided being kissed by the office Romeo
By navigating the office avoiding mistletoe
As the time is ticking towards Christmas day
I could have done with a little help along the way
I’ve dealt with shoppers impatient and rude
But I tried to stay cheerful while I queued
I’ve bought all the presents the paper and bows
I’ve put up with all the countless ho ho ho’s
I’ve got all the groceries and gallons of booze
While you sat in front of the telly and snoozed
I’ve decked the halls I’ve trimmed the tree
I’ve wrapped all the presents from you and me
I’ve written all the Christmas cards to everyone
Which I hand delivered though I posted some
I’ve cleaned the whole house from bottom to top
I’ve washed and ironed till I’m ready to drop
I’ve prepared the veg, I’ve stuffed the bird
I’ve hung the stockings and you’ve not stirred
And the very second I take a minute for me
The first thing I hear is “Mum, what’s for tea”
So to Santa Claus I make my annual plea
For a very special present just for me
Just one year I would like to escape this stress
So that I too can have a merry Christmas
Paul Curtis  388
12-15-2008 10:21 AM ET (US)
CHRIST IS IN CHRISTMAS

I Remember in December
That the reason for the season
Is that Christ is in Christmas
And he is there for all of us
And I remember the son God gave
To the world he would save
When love was born
On that first Christmas morn
Paul Curtis  389
12-15-2008 10:21 AM ET (US)
I LOVE CHRISTMAS

I love Christmas when it comes around
The smells and tastes, the sights and sounds
I love the Christmassy Cinnamon smells
The Carol singers and chiming church bells
I love to see the advent candle burning
The excited faces all the children yearning
I love the gifts done up with ribbons and bows
And Red faced Santa’s calling ho ho ho
I love the merry songs about the season of Yule
And handmade decs brought from school
I love trimming the tree with festive things
Like candy canes and popcorn strings
I love the twinkling of the Christmas lights
And the garlands hanging colourful and bright
But the thing that makes the season for me
Is kissing my love beside the Christmas tree
Paul Curtis  390
12-15-2008 10:22 AM ET (US)
THIS CHRISTMAS TIME

This Christmas Time
When you celebrate the day
With friends and family
Good spirits on display
When your dining table
Is full to overflowing
Everyone cosily warm
With the firelight glowing
And you sit in your armchair
With your waist band straining
Opening all the presents
When outside its cold and raining
When you have over indulged
To the point of gluttony
Take a moment to think
About the all too many
Spare a thought for the needy
For the tired and the weary
Or those who are just lonely
The cold and the hungry
The numerous homeless
The defenceless and the helpless
Enjoy this Christmas Time a lot
But think of those who cannot
ericbin1Person was signed in when posted  391
12-24-2008 10:18 PM ET (US)
Paul Curtis  392
01-21-2009 08:46 AM ET (US)
IT WAS CHRISTMAS EVE

It was Christmas Eve
We were preparing for Christmas day
Stuffing the bird and peeling veg
Singing of Santa on his sleigh
When the phone call came
I thought great Dads on his way
Or maybe it will be Gran
With another Christmas cliché

A happy Christmas call
Full of happiness and cheer
In truth it was the very opposite
It was the call we all fear
The death of a loved one
The voice says so very clear
“I’ve lost my best friend”
And I had no words only tears

Out of the blue so unexpected
Certainly not on Christmas Eve
Christmas should be a celebration
Certainly not a time to grieve
But Christmas Eve or not
It seems it was his time to leave
So farewell dear brother
Life without you I cannot conceive

DEAR BROTHER

Dear brother you were always first
I wish our roles could have been reversed
You were the first born son
Always Dads number one
You were first to go to school
While I looked at my brother so cool
The certificates you received
Became targets I had to achieve
I always beat you I was always King
But I was never first to do anything
You were the first to kiss a girl
A rather ungainly blonde called Shirl
You were the first to get a job
The first to earn an honest bob
You were the first to wed
The first to wet a babies head
And to feel a granddads pride
I watched you brush a tear aside
And now for the last time
You were first to hear the bell chime
Once more you’ve won the race
And were first to feel Gods embrace

JUST LIKE JACOB MARLEY

Peter was taken on Christmas Eve
Just like Jacob Marley
But the similarity ends there
He was never grasping or stingy
He had not been well for a time
And happy to pass without fuss
But he would have been hopping mad
That he was missing Christmas
He would not have planned it that way
And picked a better time to leave
I think he would have been happier
If he had died on New Years Eve

For my Brother Peter who died on Christmas Eve 2008
Paul Curtis  393
01-21-2009 08:49 AM ET (US)
21st CENTURY NURSERY RHYMES

# 1

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
Thanks to a litigious culture, and a legal vulture
Humpty Dumpty made a big score

# 2

It's raining, it's pouring;
Politicians are snoring.
They had their chance
To save the world
Now we’re screwed by global warming

# 3

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair;
Said Simple Simon to the pie man "what have you got there?"
Said the pie man to Simple Simon "what do you expect me to have?"
“I’m the pie man so I’ve got pies you dozy chav”

# 4

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie
Kissed the girls but didn’t know why.
When the boys came out to play
He had more fun because he was gay

# 5

Mary Mary quite contrary,
How has your garden thrived?
With fertilizers and chemicals?
Or is it genetically modified?

# 6

Little Bo peep has lost her sheep
And doesn't know where to find them.
She didn’t know about the foot and mouth
Or that the farmer had to burn them

# 7

I had a little hen,
The prettiest ever seen,
Which happily made
For such versatile cuisine

# 8

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner
Of a fashionable eatery
When his food arrived in its design contrived
He said “What’s this supposed to be?”

# 9

Wee Willie Winkie runs through the town,
Upstairs and downstairs in his nightgown,
The silly man would have looked better
If he waited till the warmer weather

# 10

Peter, Peter pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her!
She slipped through his fingers like sand
So he ordered another one from Thailand

# 11

This little piggy has an ASBO
This little piggy’s in prison,
This little piggy was a car thief
This little piggy’s on the run
And this little piggy went...
"!£&&*!!!$" the anti social little bastard
Paul Curtis  394
01-21-2009 08:58 AM ET (US)
VENTURA HOLIDAY

A Christmas cruise in the Caribbean
What a dream for the Christmas season
It’s a dream holiday for anyone
And costs thousands of pounds for a reason
Among other things what you would expect
When venturing on the ocean waves
Is to be in company of like minded people
Who comprehend how they should behave
You book early to avoid disappointment
And the chance to choose where to stay
Settle the amount in plenty of time
Then in December you’re on your way
But then to ensure a full compliment
Those greedy so and so’s at P& O
Heavily discount the remaining cabins
To all and sundry, happy Christmas ho ho ho
From every city, village and town
From Great Yarmouth to Merseyside
From John O’Groats to Lands End
And from Fishguard to Tyneside
They come in search of a bargain
And a cut price berth on a luxury cruise
The uncouth the loutish and the crude
They who measure fun in volumes of booze
And so begins the Chav cruise from hell
Not hell for the Chavs themselves sadly
But for the poor souls who paid their way
Chavs know no other way to behave but badly
For alcohol consumption they know no limit
This is apparent for every poor soul to see
Drunken food fights soon breakout
Some even set fire to the Christmas tree
What a sad indictment on our society
The way the Chavs behave abroad
It’s a shame that international law
Won’t let us throw the bastards overboard
Paul Curtis  395