God help me, I comprehend something in Gontworld: The hovering head to the left is the artist, self-describing himself as panicking a the sight of the thing he's wrought. THEN DRAW SOMETHING BETTER, PINHEAD!

We all should remember that the offense to god and nature has been comatose for ages while engaging in that stupid mastubatory internal dialogue-- and what male of whatever sexual inclination could resist raping an unconscious... well, my first impression would be 'bear'... with giant breasts? {pause for response} Absolutely right-- almost every male in northern hemisphere. I leave the southern hemisphere for Steve to comment on, but those Brazilians make me wonder.

Good luck with the sepratism, Bill. I'd root for you, but it would give Quebec dumb ideas again (like: We'll be a different country, but we'll use your money and passports, and we'll not pay off our chunk of the national debt when we go).

unless he was glad Scarlet finally realized he had, eh, initiated the whoopie making.

Well yes maybe okay, but the more I think about it, the more I think
IF THERE WAS A GAY MALE GIANT POSSUM FREAK ON MY BED I'D NEVER BEFORE SEEN IN MY LIFE--
would I make whoopie with it? That SECOND?
I think the screaming would be from me. That, and the dialing of the 911.
Yes, he's Davey, and he lives in a magic world of his own, but Crimeny already. It's so f'upped on every level.

BTW, updated the page for the first time in a week. Not that it's anything great. I just did is all.

Well I'm glad about one thing. He may have got some stumps, but he sure as hell don't know how to use them!

The shading still satisfies my perverse need for really crap art :-O

The thing that suprises me is the lack of WTF is going on, every other strip has an explanation, not this one though.
Maybe we should know what is going on inside Daveys^h^h^h^h^h^hJims head, is this still inside Jims head? Whrere is this happening? WTF is going on - I am so confused! Also does the 'r' go before or after the 'h' in where?

Oh, wow.

*gag gag GAG* You assumed correctly, Bill; I didn't see that horror when I was on DevArt. And I have no idea what Ton/i/e/y's comment meant, unless he was glad Scarlet finally realized he had, eh, initiated the whoopie making.

Edited by author 04-28-2005 12:55 AM
Oh, and we all lose our bets about who the Mystery Guest was. And Davey proves his point--even gay fags wanna do freakish fox robots. Even THE FIRST TIME THEY SEE THEM. If your significant other was replaced by a fucking humanoid skunk, would your first thought be "OMG WTF!" or "I'll think I'll mount this bizarre crime against nature RIGHT NOW!"

It took him A MONTH (edit: more like 2 months) to put the damn suit on, but this bit of psychotic reasoning isn't deemed worthy of explanantion for even ONE STRIP.
Why, it's almost as if some "artist" is masturbating over this!

Edited by author 04-27-2005 11:04 PM
Fistlekits! I can only assume that you logged in before he posted...THIS:

http://www.deviantart.com/view/17706286/

Quote: "OH MY GAAAAAWD! MY EYES!! THEY BURN!!"
Yeah, mine too.

WTF?!?! What is going on here? Who's "Toni"? Is he Jim's Queer Eye loverboy? Then why does he spell his name the girl way? (Oh, cuz he's GAY!) Maybe he's a pirate with that retarded earring.
Why is JIM shrieking in horror at the boner? Even a male virgin has seen one before--in his pants! Maybe it's because Toni Tone Tony is using the missionary position?
And explain Toni the Tiger's last comment. WTF does that mean?

But what really makes it perfecto? Davey's comment:
"And by now, the DA Brass knows the drill: Let me know first if you disapprove, please. I am a subscriber and beta tester, you know."
He's the BOSS here! But he's also going to go into whiny victim mode if they censor him. LIKE THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
For the damned last time, McDork--you are NOT the Internet's Most Dangerous Cartoonist.
You are the Internet's Most Dangerous to Himself Cartoonist, but that's it.

edit: Missed this the first time, as my eyes were burning:
"Rated Mature due to--you got it--the fact that they're MAKING WHOOPIE!"
...Making...Whoopie.
When have you heard that said by anyone under the age of "I lived through the Depression"? No WAY Daveykins still lives with Mom!

Davey still needs a donation!

"I managed to save enough money to get a 3-month subscription, but my offer of commissions and E-Mailed (and possible Snail Mailed) artwork still stands for those who want to donate more subscription time to me ^-^"

Ohmygawd I could get an authentic piece of Davey art delivered to me by email!!

Here's something you may not have been aware of, Mr. Kins... *points her mouse to an image, right clicks, selects "Save Image As...", opens file in GIMP to manipulate image size*

But we already pointed that out, didn't we?

Now, the snail mailed art... I suppose it would only be worth it if I could scare my friends, relatives, and enemies with Real Authtentec Daveykins Art Wrork!

"Ummm, thanks...I think?"

Just be glad you're not this Steve. Otherwise he'd make love to you and then later, upon reflection, feel remorse.

Yeah.

I join Steve in a wish that a local network would carry Adult Swim for a bit so there was a context for that large lump of stuff which is likely tip-you-over funny if you've got a context for it.

Zef: As far as GWB's dapperness goes-- it's not the leader, it's the army. If the Green Berets start wearing their hats correctly, we know things are about to come unstuck. The other warning will be George wearing a wife-beater to the press conference where he announces that, because of TERROR! he's forced to suspend the constitution and never ever have another election. How shiny are the shoes at Homeland Security, anyway? That should be a useful indicator....

"Gentlemen, behold! I have surgically grafted Steve's head to the body....of a goat! You're pretty, aren't you Steve?"

Ummm, thanks...I think?

Okay, you can't read it. I will therefore cheat.

"Squirrel Liberation"
By: Some person named UnaDonkey on the Adult Swim message board.


Dr.Weird: "Gentlemen, behold! I have surgically grafted Steve's head to the body....of a goat! You're pretty, aren't you Steve?"
Steve: "Why do I want to eat cans?"
Dr.Weird: "I....need a new assistant! I'm looking at....you!"
Javier:*looking shocked* "Ay...mis dios!"
                             *opening credits roll*
*cut to Meatwad, in his room with Dewey and Vanessa*
Meatwad (as Vanessa):"Dewey, why won't Pacman approve of our love?"
Meatwad (as Dewey): "He don't like me. Plus....he is your father!"
Meatwad (as Vanessa): "NO!" (very loud)
                    *Shake barges in*
Shake: "Meatwad! I'm trying to watch something important in here....about Dracula!"
Meatwad: "Dracula? Looked like one o' dem datin' shows to me."
Shake (gesturing towards the dolls): "Where did you find those? I specifically hid the...I mean, they must've escaped....from your tyranny. This ends now!"
                             *Shake grabs Dewey*
Shake: "Meatwad! This is not a doll. You know what this is?"
Meatwad: "Telerscop? You said sumthin like that."
Shake: "No...this...is meant to hold toilet paper, you moron!"
Meatwad: "You don't even need toilet paper."
Shake: "You're right...I don't...but for the purposes of THIS conversation, I do!"
                             *Shake lights Dewey on fire*
Meatwad: "I'm telling Frylock!"
Shake: "Then you can tell him about....this!"
                  *Shake grabs Vanessa and starts to eat her*
Shake: "Hey, this little lady-*chewing sounds*-tastes pretty good!"
Meatwad: "Can I have a taste?"
Shake: "No....I don't think so....but you can have a taste of this...pipe steak!"
                       *Shake hits Meatwad with pipe*
Shake (while hitting Meatwad): "Like it? Cause your boxfriend already had a taste....right before I shoved his **bleep** in the garbage disposal!"
Meatwad: "No! Boxy! (while crying)
              *Shake finishes eating Vanessa, throws her into the ground, she explodes*
Shake: "Ooh, the commercial's over...I wonder what Bobby has to say about that skank?" *Shake chuckles* "Keep your deformed mouth shut, Meatwad....or you just may have another unfortunate "accident"......of the pipe variety." *Shake laughs and goes back to the living room*
                      *Meatwad cries*
Meatwad: "Dewey! Vanessa! Boxy! I might as well just die" *cries some more*
                                    *Cut to Frylock entering the house*
                                    *Shake quickly changes channels*
Shake: "Hey...Frylock! How's it going?"
Frylock: "Shake....were you watching that dating show again?"
Shake: "No....what are you talking about? Everything has to be an investigation with you. You're not friggin Sherlock Holmes here! I don't watch that stuff! That's for....pregnant women....on welfare. C'mon, man....I'm watching this."
Frylock: "The gardening competition?....Uh-huh....sure. Where's Meatwad?"
Shake: "What do I look like? A bloodhound....that cares? He's probably playing with his dolls...in his room. Hey, why don't ya go see him? *Frylock floats down the hall* "Yeah, that's right....leave the room....scientist.
                    *Shake chuckles and changes the channel back*
                    *Frylock enters Meatwad's room...Meatwad is sitting in the dark*
Frylock: "Meatwad? What's wrong?"
Meatwad: "Shake done destroyed everything I care about....I would talk to Squirlly about it...but he don't talk back no more." *Holds up a dead squirrel*"I think he's sick."
Frylock: "No, Meatwad, I'm pretty sure he's....dead."
Meatwad: "He don't eat much lately.....I just figured he's on a diet. Looks are important to squirells...Them squirrel magazines make him feel fat. You can fix him, right?"
Frylock: "Well....Meatwad, I can't..."*Meatwad starts to cry* "No, no...I'll fix him just like new....Don't you worry, tommorrow squirrelly will be just fine. You get some sleep."
Meatwad: "Really....O boy! Will he be able to fly and talk like before?"
Frylock: "Oh, he'll be able to do all that....and more...you have to go to sleep so squirrelly can wake up, though."
Meatwad: "Well, that makes sense...Good night" *Meatwad falls asleep*
           *cut to Frylock reanimating Squirrelly in his lab*while....
Hip hop guy says: "**bleep**, Frylock....Everybody knows squirrels can't fly. Sheee, fool you crazy."
     *cut to the next day...Frylock enters Meatwad's room, with "fixed" Squirrelly in hand*
Frylock: "Meatwad, you're little buddy's all fixed!"
Meatwad: "Well, good mornin! Squirrelly! You're all better. Thank you Frylock, that's so sweet."
Frylock: "Why don't you guys go play."
Meatwad: "Prepare for liftoff, Colonel Squirrelly." *Squirrelly floats* "Houston, we have liftoff. Here we go!"
                                 *Meatwad flies out the window on Squirrelly*
Frylock: "He shouldn't be able to fly."
           *cut to Carl, rubbing his head with his hand, in his backyard next to the pool*
           *Meatwad flies in riding Squirrelly*
Carl: "H-hey, Meatman...W-what are you doin' there...riding that....squirrel?"
Meatwad: "Oh, that's just Squirrelly. We just got 'im up an' runnin'. I figured I take him out on a...test....fly?"
Carl: "Oh Yeah! That's super....Flyin' squirrel, eh? So what does that friggin thing run on, anyway?"
Meatwad: "Um...shoot, he liked **bleep** before the....accident. I was gonna take him out for som o' dem racing stripes....like on your car? You know anyone who works on....squirrels...that...fly?"
Carl:"Hell yeah, I do...Just take him to Larry's place. He does...all kinda things....with animals. Yeah, he's right next door to that doll shop."
Meatwad: "Alright then, we gonna head on down there."
                 *Meatwad flies off on Squirrelly*
Carl- "Friggin' flyin' squirrel...I HAVE to get my **bleep** away from this freak show."
                 *Carl cracks open a beer and goes inside*
                  *cut to Shake on the roof with a sniper rifle*
Shake (into walkie talkie):10-4 we have an airspace violation in the No Meat Zone...Commence Operation "Squirrel Liberation."
voice(in walkie talkie): "We have a go on "Squirrel Liberation", over"
                                 *Shake fires, Meatwad and Squirrelly go down in flames*
Meatwad: "Squirrelly...NO!"
                     *cut to tulip sniper, in a fancy window office, wearing a business suit*
Tulip Sniper: "Well done. Well done, indeed." *Laughs maniacally*
                            *end credits*

ATHF Fan Script- "Squirrel Liberation"
http://boards.adultswim.com/adultswim/boar...te_ascending&page=1

Reeeeeeeeeeead iiiiiiiiit.

If there are any you can't find, I have the whole run, from WoV's Stan era LPs/EPs

Ya mean those big black CDs?

Nah, I know what they are. I think I once listened to "Mexican Radio" on a record when I baby-sat two kids many moons ago.

Mighty kind of you to offer them in the event that I can't find any! (This is odd, but I've always wanted a turntable. Most kids my age in middle school had them in their homes.)

But it might be best to buy them. I'm sure Stan's well off, but I like to think that my money will someday enable him to buy a cup of coffee that will pour down his luscious throat and soothe his sexy layrnx...

I just segued into otolaryngological softcore porn.

(Those voice and articulation classes are something!)

Fistlekits:
I just discovered the wonder and beauty that is Wall of Voodoo.

After being seduced by Stan Ridgway's voice, I want--no, need!--to buy his solo albums.

If there are any you can't find, I have the whole run, from WoV's Stan era LPs/EPs, then the no-Stan WoV LPs, and all of Stan's solo LPs up to "Black Diamond" (which I really disliked and then stopped paying attention..so I guess I really don't have the whole run).

But it's better if you can buy them. Stanard needs the money, I'm sure.

I'd decided weeks ago to have the next Comments (May/June) to have a title from one of Stan's lyrics. Guess you'll have to wait 'n' see which.

made me wonder if Bush's precisely aware of where Mexico is.

"Wal, sure, it's that place where the brown people who clean my ranch at Crawford come from!"

HAHAHAHAA! hee. dang but aren't those good analogies. i'm all hungry now though.

We will raid your country with nucular weapons and spread our love and American-

The other day there was a show where they asked several local starlets to find countries in a world map. some couldn't find FRANCE. made me wonder if Bush's precisely aware of where Mexico is.