THANKS!!!!! - Rachel

Rachel,

I believe our friends at www.famtime.com still have these two in stock.
Take care,
Kurt Drees


>From: QT - Rachel <qtopic+29-aTnHdQdwkkXf@quicktopic.com>
>Reply-To: QT topic 29-aTnHdQdwkkXf <qtopic+29-aTnHdQdwkkXf@quicktopic.com>
>To: QT topic subscribers <qtopic+subs@quicktopic.com>
>Subject: Heritage Builders
>Date: 14 Jun 2006 12:47:10 -0700
>
< replied-to message removed by QT >

I am looking for the Family Night Tool Chest books for Preschoolers - one on the Old Testament, and one on the New Testament. Do you know where I can find these since they are not being printed anymore, and I can't seem to locate them. Thanks!

I am reading spiritul growth of children, and it recommended to download some forms on this website, however I can't find them. how does it works?

To Esther: I think you should take every opportunity to teach about Jesus and God in the every day things such as if he gets a cut. Care for it and put a bandaid- in a few days when you remove the bandaid talk to him about how God heals. Just short and concrete things that he can see. Some of the Heritage Builders activities are too deep for a small child let alone for a child with Pervasive Developmental Disorder. Just surround him with Christian activities like coloring pages of bible characters- be sure they are simple and not too busy. And most of all teach him to pray for something each day and Thank the Lord for something each day. Not a long prayer or a memorized prayer that will be too busy. Maybe even go around the table with your family so that he can see each person doing this. It will keep his attention better and have more meaning for him. Good Luck! God has blessed you with this special child- maybe you can share what works with others in the future!

I am very new to this program. and my biggest question is I have a 6 year old boy and a 2 year old. My 6 year old has PDD NOS which is a form of autism. He doesn't understand a lot of htings. My question si how can I implament this program to help him learn. We go to church every week and he sits with us but doesn't understand anything they talk about. He has a very very short attention span. Reading to him is a challenge because he can't focus on what we are saying. Any ideas would be wonderful.
God bless you all.

I have 4 children.recently my 2nd,a son, has been doing things that are completely out of character. i wouldn't say that he is a rebellious child,but has been making some bad choices. he is an intelligent young man, but is indifferent to schoolwork. today he skipped school in the afternoon. his dad& I have already discussed this w/ him and he has prayed for God's forgiveness, but we would like to "nip this in the bud" so to speak.

I attend church on a regular basis, minding my own business, working with children occasionally. A lady in my church became ill with cancer and soon moved into my neighborhood she had 2 children, a teenage daughter that was 14 and a son that was almost 8. The daughter had a live in boyfreind that was also 14. The mother allowed this because the daughter kept running away. We lived fairly close to one another and I noticed the little boy outside alone until late hours in the night - being concerned for the childs safety and thinking I could help a member of my church I befriended my neighbor. I found out the teenage daughter was leaving with the boyfreind and returning late at night if at all. The child was almost left on his own, I prayed extremely hard about this and God led my to step out and spend time with this child. I would invite him over to help me pick up pinecones in my yard then I would pay him $1 and take him to the store to spend it. To make a long story short I began to Love this child - this mother and her family left the child in my custody. We cared for the child like our own. We have a teenage daughter who was 14 at the time and there was some adjusting. The mother died after several weeks of the child in our full custody and I tried hard to contact the fathers family to let them know I had the child. (the father had passed away less than 6 months prior. The mother did not have a good relationship with this estranged family. The paternal Gradmother fought our Family in court - we won the court case. This Grandmother died less than 1 year later. My situation at this time is the fact that we have the childs blood "family" mambers that are trying to corrupt this child - his sister puts a huge burden on him to try to make him feel guilty if he won't drop ALL his activities to spend time with her when she is in town - I felt sorry for her in the begging but she only wants him "alone" - I find this extremely disturbing and I confronted her and let her know if she can not spend time with us as a family then she doesn't spend time with him alone. I have her on video when she was on drugs at a public event. I am responsible for his safety. The adults in that family fear this teenager - she threaghtens to commit suicide if they don't bow to her every whim. I am normally VERY nice but I feel responsible for the saftey and well-being of my son and I believe God placed him in our home. There is also an adult that has insight on the grandmother's estate and she is an ex-wife and is constantly harrassing me for visitation. How should I handle this? In the past my child confided in my the secrets this woman kept from the grandmother and that she spoke awful things about her. i don't want him corrupted this way and I know God gave my Boldness and courage to stand up to the sister and I pray often that when she shows up I ca stand firm and be cosistent. Any ideas on how I should handle the ex-wife would be apprciated - Please pray for our family - I know God has a plan for all of us.

I attend church on a regular basis. A lady in my church became ill with cancer and soon moved into my neighborhood she had 2 children, a teenage daughter that was 14 and a son that was almost 8. The daughter had a live in boyfreind that was also 14. The mother allowed this because the daughter kept running away. We lived fairly close to one another and I noticed the little boy outside alone until late hours in the night - being concerned for the childs safety and thinking I could help a member of my church I befriended my neighbor. I found out the teenage daughter was leaving with the boyfreind and returning late at night if at all. The child was almost left on his own. I would invite him over to help me pick up pinecones in my yard then I would pay him $1 and take him to the store to spend it.

Mineysmom, I don't have a good answer about the spanking bit. My wife and I have a 2 year old daughter and we've had to spank her from time to time. However, I would recommend John Gottman's book "Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child." It will help you identify your parenting style and guide you in dealing directly and effectively with a child's "negative" emotions. I am working on a Master of Arts in Marriage and Family Therapy, am a Christian, and highly recommend this book. God bless you as you raise your daughter.

Try the resurrection eggs (should be able to find them at Wal-mart)>

I would like to teach my children about the Christian aspect of Easter. I want to include (as an evoluntionary process) the Easter Bunny as well. Anyone know of any creative activities that go along with this message? Websites, etc...They are ages 3 and 10 so it can be difficult to hold everyone's attention without some creativity.

2gr8grls... Your message sounds so much like mine. I have a 10 year old and a 3 year old. The 10 year old has some of the same motivational issues. It is not totally better, but easing up on extracurricular activities in combination with a devotional at night has been very helpful. There are two we use. One is from the Lilly series and it talks about values and virtues. We just started it and the first lesson is on integrity. There is even a quiz. We do about 10 minutes a night and then just talk usually. She has really opened up about things at home and school. I have learned to just listen and share my own experiences but not give advice. The other is called For Girls Only. It is excellent-2 page devotional with a message. It has a topic index and I have subtlely chosen them for the issues we are facing that particular day. It offers verses, experiences, question and answer time and even beauty tips sometimes! They are a neat way to connect and then at times it is easier to discuss how their behavior makes the rest of the family act or feel. It is not a miracle worker but it has helped!

I have a great young man coming up who is 11 years old right now. He attends a Christian school where he is in the 5th grade. Recently at school him and some other boys have been getting in trouble for vulgar jokes and coarse talking. This was shocking when my husband and myself had to go in and talk our childs principle. We are born again Christians with only 3 monitored channels to our television. When I first heard this I was devestated and wanted it stopped immediately. After him being punished at school several times and at home it continued in his peer group except when my child would go to the teacher to inform her that the other children was talking this way the other children denied it and my son was seen as making up all the vulgar language to get the other children in trouble. My husband truly felt that it was possibly a peer situation among boys to not be too upset that it should pass. If anyone can give me an insight on this. After praying about it I know we have taught him differently and been the example he needs. That there are many negative influences they will be faced with in his life. That all God expects of us as parents is to live that Godly life He desires from us and our children will learn from that. That Jesus promises to watch over our children. Am I on the right track?

Mineysmom....
 I am new to this site, but I read about your daughters strong will when it comes to eating. Well, I too have a son he is 17months. When I can not get him to try something like carrots or even pizza, I put some ranch on the side and let him dip what ever it is in the ranch. I also use ketchup for hotdogs and some meats. I hope this is helpful..

Hello, I am new to the site. I have to beautiful daughters one is 10 and the other is 5. I was raised in a Christian home and my parents were strickt with me and I am greatful because I have a deep faith due to that. My husband, however, believes in God, but doesn't live a religous life. My oldest daughter is very sweet, and caring, but I can not get her to be responsible with time or with doing her share of the house hold chores. I have prayed about this and pray everyday to disapline my girls with love and to be a good mom. I have made list, I have taken things away, I have did the points to earn things and I am at my wits end. When ever I talk to lmy olest daughter she thinks I am picking on her and I see her selfesteem getting low, I don't want to do that, I had low self esteem when I was little and I don't want her to go through that. She has alot going for her she does good in school, she is good in sports, etc. What can I do to get this important skill across to her? My littlest daughter looks up to her and mimiks her actions. I need to get the point across to both of them.

Thanks~

t

Gabriel,
What an inspiring and uplifting testimony. Thanks for sharing it. And may God's richest and newest mercies be toward you each morning, my friend!

Greetings! I am new to this site and am blessed by what I see and read. A little about my background: I grew up in a broken home with four sisters, where my step-dad was in and out of our life. Although we attended church three times a week, and my parents implemented a very strict moral standard, i.e., girls wore dresses, boys kept short hair, no television, etc., we never experienced a relationship with Jesus Christ. My concept of what God was like was exactly what my father demonstrated, angry, judgmental, and would abandone me if and when I done something wrong. Unfortunately, I ended up leaving the church scene and into an unrestrained lifestyle doing nearly whatever felt good at the time. Needless to say, I had no goals in life, and ended up and unfulfilled, and very unhappy person...until Jesus came.

since that time, my life has been turned upside down. And although I now have a New Life, it has been a time of healing and restoration for those things that did or did not happen in my childhood. It has been a wonderful journey learning the Power of His Love and just how trustworthy He really is.

It is said that "fruit don't fall far from the tree", and I have learned that is becausse we grow them.

Anyways, I am glad to be able to read and share with you all.

Peace be the Journey,

Gabriel

Does anybody else out there have problems feeding their toddler? My daughter throws an absolute fit if I try to get her to try new things. It's a battle I'm not winning. Whoever heard of a kid not liking pizza or mashed potatoes? My daughter hates both of them - but she's never tried them, so how can she say she hates them? As for vegetables, she will "tolerate" carrots but refuses to eat anything else from the vegetable kingdom. I'm so frustrated about this. She will sit down and devour a serving of cottage cheese. Whoever heard of that? But she refuses to even put a vegetable or mashed potatoes on her lip. She hates meat (except for chicken) so I try telling her everything is "chicken". she's a little too smart for that. her favorite phrase is "i don't like that". My question is how is her life being sustained? Are the angels coming in at night and secretly feeding her while she sleeps? Please advise.

J Otis Ledbetter
Thanks so much for your advice. I have been examining my emotions when my daughter seems to "push my buttons". I try getting down on her level and looking her square in the eye and explaining to her what she did and why it is unacceptable. But I can't help but wonder how much of what I'm saying is she really understanding? I mean she's only 25 months old. I have told her that mommy needs a time-out and I simply walk in the other room and take five. I know I have spanked her out of frustration and that's when I feel the worst. Being her mom is a privilege and honor. It's also the hardest thing I have ever done.

Laurie,
First let me say before you begin to confront this problem with your daughter, be sure you have no latent heart bitterness about your relationship with her father that could spring up. To equate her present actions with that experience may result in closing her spirit.

Second, it seems your daughter is saying to you that there are some things that need reassuring in her own life. Take your daughter on a date. Go to a restaurant and have a conversation that includes the reassurance of her identity and position in your heart: that she is a part of this family and completely has your heart will never change, no matter who comes into your life.

Having assured her of that, ask her, “Sweetheart, what is it you want me to do that I am not doing?” (In this conversation, your relationship to a significant other is off the table.)

Typically a healthy 13 year old is at an age of insecurity anyway. The divorce you mentioned could have shaken her and deepened the insecurity. Perhaps, that is what you are encountering in her behavior, not necessarily an inherent anger or control issue.

In my book Your Heritage, I talk about providing a healthy emotional legacy in the home. This is done by intentionally cultivating the following components:

1. Provide a safe environment in which deep emotional roots can grow.
2. Foster her confidence through stability.
3. Nurture in her a strong sense of positive identity.
4. Create within the home a resting place for the soul.
5. Demonstrate your unconditional love.

I strongly suspect your daughter will respond to these conditions in a positive manner, and it gives you at the least, a starting place to further develop your relationship with her!

Blessings,
J. Otis Ledbetter

My 13 year old daughter is already very controlling. I am a single mother with 2 daughters, the younger one is 11. I have been dating a man for the past 2 years and my 13 year old is extreamly mean and disrespectful towards him and towards me whenever he calls on the phone or comes over. She has told me that she does not like him and does not want to share me. She finds that when he is around, there is less attention for her. She actually gives me the 3rd degree when ever I go somewhere alone other than work and when I talk on the phone. Her father was very similar to this and that is a large part of why we have divorced. How do I teach her that this behavior is not OK.

Dear Mineysmom,
First I should say you are not alone in your dilemma. I have spoken to dozens of single parents who relate to your situation. I can only offer a few suggestions and hope contained in them will be some help.

You are doing right by being intentional about the discipline of your child. It seems you are only spanking when she is defiant and not when she is simply being a child and doing childish things. That is good!

The feeling you are experiencing after administering the discipline is normal. I remember my response to having to spank my daughter was nausea and all that goes with that. I’m sure you have heard parents say, “This hurts me more?” That is a truism! But could it be that you discipline in the heat of the moment or administer it while you are still angry? If so, that could be a reason for your negative feelings.

Let some time develop between the incident and the punishment so you can cool, and she can contemplate her actions. Then with a loving heart explain to her why you must do what you have to do. Then, don’t let her leave with out a hug and an “I love you” from you.

Another word I might say to you is that strong willed children have a desire to make their own decisions. If you can find a way to partner with her on her decisions: a sort of letting HER have YOUR way, it could result in guiding her toward future decision making.

Also, as you dwell on the parental perils of raising a strong willed child, add to it this thought. If you successfully inculcate Biblical values into her, the same strong will you fought will be the same strong will that will help her say NO to offers of potential hurtful situations when she has grown and added maturity!

Blessing on you as you manage the growing of one of God’s little ones!

J. Otis Ledbetter
Heritage Builders Association

I am finding myself in a real dilemma as a single mother with a 2 year old daughter. I have been told by so many people that my daughter is more than "strong willed". Every thing seems to be a battle with her and I am learning to pick which ones are truly worth fighting. However; lately when she does something really big (worthy of a spanking), I feel so guilty about spanking her. I feel as though I have wronged her or violated her in some way. I have been praying about this issue because the world we live in nowadays says you are never suppose to spank your child. I know what the bible says about spanking and actually that is the only thing that is anchoring me right now. I'm torn and don't know what to do. If God wants me spanking my daughter as part of teaching her right from wrong, then why does it feel so wrong to do it? Thanks for all your advice.

Well the Link is up ! have a look at http://www.destinysend.org and thank you for allowing me to link this site. God Bless.

Not only do we not object, we encourage you to place a link to us on your site. And thank you for thinking of the idea to do so!

Hello my name is Michael Painter I live in Daytona Beach. Recently I had been praying for god to give me something to do for him. I rededicated my life to the lord about a year ago and have been after him ever since to give me a task to do in honor of all he has done for me.

God has done a great many things in my life and carried me when I was at my lowest point. To him I owe everything. So one night as I lay in bed praying he laid it on my heart to start a website. So www.destinysend.org was born.

It;s still in the early stages and Im not sure yet what God intends for me to do with it but I'm adding little things here and there.

I listen to Z88.3 out of Orlando when today I heard of this website. I have looked it over and am in love. Yet another blessing from God. This site is wonderful and I can only hope one day mine will be as good as this.

I have kinda drifted off the reason of my coming here, I was wondering if it would be Ok for me to Post a link to this website on my site ? I think the viewers of my site would really enjoy the content found here.

If there is no objections I will get a link up right away on my site. Thank you for your time and God Bless all of you.

Pastor Dave:

Another thought I had that might help you...

Get your Dads to get the mindset that...

** Their kids are their "built-in" disciples. **

God put them in your family so that you will train them to be followers of Christ.

This mindset has a side benefit...

In those times when we are not "on fire" for the things of God...when we hit a low time...usually those are times when we are taking in Truth, but we do not share Truth. We take, but don't give. With the "built in" disciple mindset, it takes care of this recurring problem because we can always teach Truth to our children. Truth goes in us and goes right back out...leading to a continuing excitment for the things of God. And our kids (at least up until around the age of 12) want us to share Truth with them in a fun, loving way.

What a blessing.

Take care,
Kurt Drees

Pastor Dave:

We're so glad that you are beginning the Heritage Building process in your church! At my local church is where I discovered the Heritage Building principles...and it is one of the reasons we got involved at that church. When you start to emphasize *family*, you'll attract families. Then you teach them what a healthy family is...health families will lead to a healthy church. One of your main missions is to get the Dads in the church to turn off the TV for 20 minutes one night a week to become intentional in teaching their kids Biblical Truths.

What I might recommend are the following steps:

1.) If you have the CD titled "Introduction to Heritage Builders and Family Nights"...give one to 10 key families in your church...Dads that you feel have the initiative to take responsibility for teaching his kids Biblical Truths. Give them the CD, tell them to listen to it and ask them their input on teaching more parents within the church how to teach their children these Truths.

2.) When you have 3 or more couples that understand the need to teach their children, then suggest that they meet (in a Sunday school class or weekday class, formal or informal) to cover the book Your Heritage (we have a free online discussion guide for them...it could take up to 12 weeks).

3.) While going through this book, give the parents a Family Night Toolchest book. Tell them to start having Family Nights at home (20 to 30 minutes of fun). Have them get in the habit of doing a lesson a week. This works best for parents with kids between 3 and 12 yrs old.

This will get the ball rolling. There are so many more things you can do (i.e. Have a Family Worship service once a month; teach a family enrichment class based on Spiritual Milestones book; Use the Family Night activites in the childrens Sunday morning class...to show the parents how effective the material is; etc.).

While my answer may seem very cookie-cutter, please know that you can & should adapt the material to your specific members. Feel free to call us anytime at 888-31-FAMILY.

Regards,
Kurt Drees
Heritage Builders

I am a pastor of a small chruch (125) looking to implement HB. I have a full set of the materials form the HB bookstore so I am a bit overwhelmed. The first step seems to be "Building a Herritage: 13 sessions for adult groups" which lays out the whole approach. Since the chruch will be waiting until January to start something new, and several of my families are already hot on herritage building I am not sure that 13 weeks is necessary before they start building. But I wouldn't want them to start using the family devotions and get frustrated. Can you advice me on the best course to take?

Your delimma is a common one to any family of multiple children. I remember bringing our new daughter home from the hospital when our first born was only 19 months. Even at that young age he is thinking the newborn is an intruder. My wife displaying much wisdom, gave the newborn to me and held the 19 month all the way home - for reassurance.
 
Your 3 year old is not viewed by your 5 year old as a sibling but an intruder. Your challenge is to re-identify him to your 5 year old as a full family member and not a gate-crasher. I would suggest you plan some activities that give off the signal that you are of the opinion "the more the merrier." Do activities that would not be successful if there were only one or two.
Reassure your five year old that he has a special place in your heart that no one can replace as does your three year old. Your children - like all other children - will test you to find your answers to these three questions. Do you love me? Are you with me? Will you keep me? Let your actions and conversations drive home the affirmative of these three and in the process you will find a emerging harmony returning to your home.
 

J. Otis Ledbetter
Heritage Builders Association


"Strengthening God's Family By Strengthening Yours...
Sonrise Church: A Place Where You and Your Family Can Begin Again!"

Hi i have two boys 5 and 3 I have just got my youngest son back after 2and a half yrs. My eldest son does not want to share me and is not very nice to his brother do you have any tips for us a family to work on building togetherness and everything that goes with it. Iam a Christian have been for almost 3 years and a single mum.
Also can I buy any of the heritage builder products in New Zealand.

Peri,

Good to hear from you. The website address flier probably goes back to when Focus on the Family administered the HeritageBuilders.com website. Weekly activities can still be found at HeritageBuilders.com. Just click on the link directly above the box on the right side that says "Click here for the Godly Parenting Newsletter specials". There will be two Family Night activities listed. There is no charge for these. Let us know of any other questions.

Regards,
Kurt Drees




>From: QT - Peri P. <qtopic+29-aTnHdQdwkkXf@quicktopic.com>
>Reply-To: QT topic 29-aTnHdQdwkkXf <qtopic+29-aTnHdQdwkkXf@quicktopic.com>
>To: QT topic subscribers <qtopic+subs@quicktopic.com>
>Subject: Heritage Builders
>Date: 20 Oct 2005 14:41:44 -0700
>
< replied-to message removed by QT >

Hi!
Is there a magazine or publication of any type that you send out (without someone ordering it). My friend just got a "small magazine" (her description over the phone) and it had an email address on it that was similiar to the following one (however, the one I am about to list is incomplete and is just part of what she read off to me)www.heritagebuilders.com/weeklyactivities/0000. Does any of this make sense to you? I've reviewed your website and saw the publications you have for people to buy, but didn't see anything that seemed to be a mailout (other than an email newsletter). Can you help me make sense out of this?
God bless!
Peri

My 9yr old daughter recently told me that she doesnt believe in God any longer after her father was incarcerated for comitting acts of domestic violence against she and I. I believe she is just venting anger right now but I want to make sure I handle this situation correctly. Does anyone have ideas or similar experiences that may help me bring understanding and healing to my little girl? Thank you.

What chores do your children do? I have a son who is 16 and for the first 10 years he had no chores, after I married my husband he decided my son needed chores, so my son did everyones dishes every day and night for several years, now that he's older, he has decided that no other teenager has to do chores so why should he. I am aware that this is pretty much all my fault as I didn't give him any responsibilities origanally. Any help would be appreciated. As if that wasn't enough, my son has Aspergers Syndrome a disorder on the Autism Spectrum.

Amy: A few of the Family Night Workbooks have gone out of print (including the Preschool Old & New Testament workbooks). You might be able to find a few online by searching at google.com...or you might try our friend Kirk Weaver at famtime.com. I think he has some of the Preschool titles available. Hope that helps --Kurt

I noticed that your store has only a few of the family nights heritage books. A few years ago I purchased your family night book for preschoolers. There were also some other titles. Have these books gone out of print? Can they be purchased somewhere else?

I just wanted you all to know that I gave a Parent Report Card from your website to my 10-year old daughter last week and it really did open a brand new level of dialogue. It was fantastic. No, I didn't score as high as I would like, but I could see where she was coming from and it gave me a real hard look as to how she sees me. I want to thank you for posting that on the website. My daughter is filling out a weekly report card on me so that at least once a week I am SURE to hear her thoughts and feelings. Thanks so much.

In a message dated 9/18/2005 12:52:07 PM Pacific Standard Time, qtopic+29-aTnHdQdwkkXf@quicktopic.com writes:

I have an 11 year old son who has graduated from the who cares
to talking back. He talks back to us and to his teachers. The
only thing I have not tried is spanking Help!!!



First let me say generally speaking, spanking would probably do more harm than good at this stage.
 
Having said that, you haven't given enough information to help me respond adequately with answers. For a young man to get to this stage of rebellion at this age there has to be factors of which I have not been made aware. He is actually at an age where he is the most receptive to your values, and why that receptivity isn't there goes deeper than can be explored in a couple of sentences.
 
If you want to post me privately with more detail, I will gladly respond with any help I can offer. Post to me at _Otis@heritagebuilders.com_ (mailto:Otis@heritagebuilders.com) and I will be in touch. Or there may be others that could benefit from this conversation if you are not opposed to the public forum. Either choice is yours and I wait to hear from you.
 
Regards,
JOL
J. Otis Ledbetter
Heritage Builders


"Strengthening God's Family By Strengthening Yours...
Sonrise Church: A Place Where You and Your Family Can Begin Again!"

I have an 11 year old son who has graduated from the who cares to talking back. He talks back to us and to his teachers. The only thing I have not tried is spanking Help!!!

Erica: The best Family Night workbook for your situation would be Ten Commandments. There are lessons on honoring your father & mother; as well as lessons on righteous living. You can order this at heritagebuilders.com, then click on "Our Store". Take care --Kurt Drees

Hi! I'm looking for an activity, game, craft, etc...that will teach about respect. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks - Erica

What do you do when your kids are 8 years old and they don't take mom or dad serious. You can talk and yell etc. but until you spack butt there is no response. I've tried taking favorite things away but they say "so, who cares?" and they're not affected by that - I don't know what else to do. Can you help?

Amy: Yes! We have a Proverbs Family Night Workbook available at heritagebuilders.com, click on "Our Store", scroll down and you'll find it. This would work super for your family. Take care, Kurt

Hello, I am a part of a homeschooling family and we would like to study the book of Proverbs with our kids this school year. Do you have any Family Night style books available?

Thank you and God Bless

I am writing to thank you for the HB Family Nights Intro Toolchest. We had our first family night last Sunday night and the kids loved playing with the magnets illustrating the unseen power of God. I also want to thank Jim and Janet Weidmann for making us aware of these resources when they spoke at Pine Cove Christian Camp last month. Be in prayer for us that we may continue with Family Night and start a strong legacy of Christian values in our family.

I love the Heritage Builders Family Night Preschooler's Tool Chest workbooks. This is my first year Home Schooling my kids (ages 5, 3 and 1). I am looking for a Bible Study to start out each day that is fun, hands-on, memorable, 10-15 minutes... JUST like the family night activities. Do you have any ideas of what to use?

Mary: We have a number of lessons on Matthew 5-7. Here they are...5:11-12, 44 Wisdom Family Nights; 5:37 Ten Commandments FN; 5:14-16 Simple Science; 6:19-21 Money Matters; 6:26-27 Simple Science; 6:33 Money Matters;7:13 New Testament for Preschoolers; 7:15-20 Intro to Family Nights. I hope that helps! These are all great lessons and all of the workbooks are instock currently. Take care --Kurt Drees

Our church is doing a series on the the Sermon on the Mount/Beatitudes this fall and we would like to have some family devotion/activity ideas available for our families to do at home. Are there any from Heritage Builders on that subject?

Friends,
Has the Heritage Builders program been tried as a community outreach by anyone? I am a pastor working to plant a church in a small community. From what I'm learning about this strategy it sounds like it could be used to bring even "unchurched" families in the neighborhood together for weekly "Community Family Nights." I'm thinking of it as a time when families can come together for fun, and each family would do the "Family Night Activity" there, and then have refreshments or something similar. Has this been tried yet? Any pointers?
Peace be with you!

Tim,
By your note it seems you are the type of fellow who loves helping others. You've probably heard the humorous story of a plumber who fixes everyone's leaks but lives with the leaks in his house - or the construction worker who began an "add on" to his house but can't find the time to complete it? Most all of us will give in to the human condition to be so "into" helping others that we unintentionally neglect our own!
 
Is it possible that because of your compassion for others, your daughter is feeling neglected? Even if the above scenario isn't true in your case, I suggest you begin to build the relationship by dating your daughter. At first that may seem odd, but what you need to concentrate on immediately is building that one-on-one relationship with your daughter before she leaves the nest. It is also a perfect opportunity to teach her the social graces and what a guy may or may not do on a date!
 
It should be your idea as to where to go, not hers. If you leave it up to her your effort might seem lazy or forced. So make a date, often - and make it nice. Open up meaningful conversation across the table at a restaurant. Find out what she likes, who she likes, what her fears or what her aspirations are. Go to a movie with her and afterward discuss the life lesson from it. Ask if there are projects you can do that she isn't able to complete herself.
She is sixteen and it is critical for you as her father to emerge now as her life coach! If you have indeed been neglectful this may also be awkward to her at first, but I encourage you to persist. As you already know, there is no more important daughter than your own.
 
JOL
J. Otis Ledbetter
Heritage Builders
3105 Locan Ave.
Clovis, California 93619
(559-291-5437) www.Sonriseclovis.com


"Strengthening God's Family By Strengthening Yours...
Sonrise Church: A Place Where You and Your Family Can Begin Again!"

Question: I need help in rebuilding a relationship with my daughter. She believes I am not as interested in her as I am with other relatives kids or kids in our church. She is 16, I love her and am at a loss for what to do next.

Reply from: J. Otis Ledbetter

>Question: We are researching homeschooling and want to pull our children out of school soon. What does Heritage builders think of homeschooling?
 
Answer: Among Heritage Builder's core principles is the belief that the primary - God ordained - teacher of children are the parents. Having said that, we realize it sometime becomes necessary to have help with issues in which a parent might not feel a competency. It is ok for the parent to seek support as long as the parent understands seeking outside support does not include abdication of their responsibility to anyone else (including school or church).
We encourage parents whether sending a child to school or if home schooling to be intentionally involved and to know what their children are learning and to what and who they are being exposed.

 
J. Otis Ledbetter
Sonrise Church
Clovis, CA 93619


"Strengthening God's Family By Strengthening Yours...
Sonrise Church: A Place Where You and Your Family Can Begin Again!"

We are researching homeschooling and want to pull our children out of school soon. What does Heritage builders think of homeschooling?

Reply by: J. Otis Ledbetter

I love questions like yours. It heartens me to know parents are accepting their responsibility to pass their faith to the next generation.

Heritage Builders has many tools to help parents. It seems you are looking for something like our "Family Night Tool Chest" series. If you go to our web site www.Heritagebuilders.com under the "For our Store" section you will find those resources. I recomend the "Introduction to Family Nights" book or the "Wisdom Life Skills."

On that site you can also download audio messages, particularly one from Jim Weidmann. He explains the value of Family Nights and will give some examples as to how we approach FN's with our own families.

On the site you can also sign up for a bi-monthly "Godly parenting" e-news that will give you a lot of ideas. I invite you to tell your friends about that free component of our ministry.

One last thing. Can you tell me how you heard of our ministry?

Thank you and blessing to your family,

J. Otis Ledbetter

Emailed message:

>I am very interested in not just "reading" the Bible to my kids but having lesson plans, workbooks, etc. to spark their interest and their minds during summer.
>
>Where is the best place for me to get affordable tools to teach my children? Their ages are 14, 11, 7, and 5.
>

Re: Autism question

Thank you for your interest. I wish I could get this answer to as many parents in your circumstance as possible, because it is my opinion that the answer to your question is, "Yes!"
 
First - the parent would need to be tuned to the learning style of the child. Usually a typical child will use all three learning styles i.e. visual (seeing), auditory (hearing), and kinesthetical (hands on learning). Dr. Edelson of the Center for the Study of Autism in Salem, Oregon, states children with autism are more likely to to rely on one learning style, but that one learning style would be intense. (http://www.autism.org/styles.html)
 
It would be necessary for you then to adjust the Heritage Builders object lessons to his appropriate learning style. There is nothing more powerful than God's Word. It has the ability to renew the mind and find its way into the heart of the receiver.
 
It has been proven (according to the level of autism) by studies at UCLA under the direction of Dr. Lovas, that children with intensive training - with step by step training (learning one component at a time) - had significant improvement. The Isaiah 28:10 principle applies here (precept upon precept, line upon line, here a little there a little). Some under this study, particularly those who began before age 5, "improved so much they were indistinguishable from typical children." (http://www.autism.org/adviceforparents.html)
 
It isn't my intention to give false hopes. But it is my opinion that inculcating the Word of God in the heart of a child could do nothing but help. It is God who created your son as he is, Exodus 4:11, and no one knows the creation better than the Creator.
 
I pray God's mercies toward you as you work with your special gift, and would love to hear from you of the progress you may seeing.
 
J. Otis Ledbetter

>I have a five year old son with autism. Do you think these methods would work in trying to teach my son God's principles?

Hi to everyone. I am new to this forum, live in Zimbabwe and have a wonderful husband and three gorgeous kids. We are a christian family. As a result of the situation in our country, we have had to put our children to boarding school. Even though reading "Your Heritage" has helped me tremendously, has anybody got some novel ideas about handing down that heritage when my kiddies spend five days of every week away from us? We are still lucky to be able to see them over most weekends. I would be most grateful for any ideas.

Michelle and Brad,

Let me add one more bit of information to what Otis has said (for the benefit of you as well as others who may be regular readers of this list).

Sex education should begin very young. My grandson, who is one and a half can already point to where his new brother/sister is (my daughter is now pregnant with their second child).

As kids mature their questions will become more and more indepth. As a parent, I have made it a practice to simply answer my kids questions until they come to the point that they are satisfied. Trying to go beyond their cuirosity level can be counter productive. Allow your kids to ask questions and then answer them to the best of your ability (going with the guidlines that Otis pointed out) until they are satisifed. As they further mature, there will be more questions.

As you now know, there comes a point when it is important to address sex in a more straightforward manner. Again, Otis has given great instructions. Let me add this if I may...

Start now by taking your son out on a date. Sometimes it should be just mom and son. Other times just dad and son. There should even be times when it is both mom and dad along with son. Your purpose is two-fold:

1. You want to teach (by example as well as verbally) how a gentleman treats a lady, what a healthy male/female relationship looks like. This will come through you instructing him, then you model it for them. Mom, tell your son how a lady wants/should to be treated. Dad, instruct your son in gentlemanly manners and respect for women. All of this is what I call "Tell and Show." This is where a date with both parents along with child will come in.

After you both have spent adaquate time instructing him/her in how a mate is to be treated, then you take them along with 'you' on a date for the purpose of observation and question asking. This can just be a fun outing, but your 'secret' purpose is to teach by doing.

A word of caution: Make certain that the things you talk about are part of your 'everyday' life. If you tell your son that a gentleman opens a door for a lady, then you need to have it a habit in your life to practice this behavior. Little eyes are watching and your actions will speak louder than your words.

2. You want to keep the lines of communication as open as possible. At this stage of your kids life they are naturally pulling away from the family. This is okay and you want it to happen, you just want it to happen in a safe, encouraging manner.

Your role as Teacher in the life of your kids is just about over (obviously there will still be many things that will be taught, but generally speaking your role as a parent is changing). This is not a bad thing. In fact, I believe that it is important that parents intentionally make the change.

As your kids enter the game of life, it is important as a parent, to understand that this is a game you cannot play for them. By age 13, your kids should have learned the basics that they will need to survive in life. Most of your teaching is over. Your job is to intentionally move from Teacher to Coach.

From the sidelines you will coach your kids on how this game is played, then you will send them into the game to play (and you will learn to pray). :-) Mistakes will be made, prepare yourself for this. Most of what our kids will encounter will only be fender benders so don't over-react at these times. There will be times that they will need to be left in the game to take some well-deserved hits - don't be afraid to allow this to happen. A good coach knows when to leave a player in the game and when you pull him/her.

Here is a general rule I have tried to go by: When a past lesson (a non-negotiable) has been violated, I will pull my kids from the game to reinforce the lesson. They are not placed back into the game until the lesson has been learned. If it is broken again, depending on what it is, sometimes the best teacher is life itself ... I will leave them in the game to take some well deserved hits.

--ON A SIDE NOTE--

I think our society has taught our kids how to get a divorce. We practice it in the dating process. For that reason, I am not real excited about "dating" or "going out." I encourage my kids to get to know someone, to spend time with them in a group setting, to observe them when they don't know they are being watched. Real character traits can be observed at these times.

I have a 13-year old. One of my goals for this year of her life is to get her to define what her ideal is in a husband. This list will obviously be re-defined as the years go by, but I want her to start thinking now about this all-important topic.

As we talk about this list, I will use it to instruct her in areas that may need further teaching. I will encourage her in areas where she is right on target. I will do my very best to partner with her to help her in anyway I can to find this ideal person for a life mate. I will assist her in Godly guidlines for defining a life mate. Then when it comes to dating I will encourage her to wait until she is confident that she will not settle for anything less than her ideal in a life mate. For some, this may be 16, 17 or 18. For others, they may need to mature more and wait longer ... even into their 20's.

I hope that helps a little. Thanks for your question.

Brad Courtney
Heritage Builders Instructor

Here is a reply from J. Otis Ledbetter:

What an exciting time for you and your spouse. This is a critical component in passing a Godly Heritage simply because in this culture sex seems to be tied to everything. They will catch the abnormal from peers, you get to be intentional about teaching them the normal.

First, if there are any hang-ups about sex you may have brought into your marriage do not let it show. You want your child to know that sex in the proper context is a normal part of life. A beautiful gift God has given to those who choose to marry.

Second, set aside a weekend (or at least one full day) and plan a trip away. Usually dad takes the boy and mom takes the girl. Let them know you have planned this especially to talk about an important issue and that you are excited to share it.

Third, use clinical language. Using slang terms disrespects the conversation. Dr. Dobson has a tape series called "Preparing for Adolescence". In it he is clinical but graphic. I recommend playing it sometime during that weekend and allow those tapes to guide your conversation and questions.

Here are some bullet points to remember:

-Sex is not nasty, do not entertain words like "yuck" in your conversation!

-Sex is wonderful and is something worth waiting for! Separate their body from the sexual union; boys - wet dreams / girls - menstrual cycle; these are indications that God is preparing them to one day be a mom or dad! (For a girl you may open a tampon or napkin and explain.)

-Gail and I told our children, "You may ask me anything, I may not always answer, but nothing is off limits as a question." (This lets you know what they are thinking.)

-Do not answer questions about you and your spouse's sexual relationship! Those details are sacred and not for public discussion! (this is reason for the "I may not answer you" response)

In our book Family Fragrance my wife shared the following experience:

Our youngest was born many years after the other two. All four of us enjoyed watching her pass through each stage of growing up. When she began asking questions about reproduction, she and I made a date for a day later that week to talk about it. We both giggled and hugged all week, looking forward to the day. When it arrived, we first went to a beautiful park, held hands, and gathered leaves (we still have them). We talked about a lot of girl things in general. Then we went to a local restaurant, talked about specific things until she finally ran out of questions. When we arrived home, Dad and our other children hugged her and spoke kindly they didn't tease her about something so special. It was as if they brought her into an exclusive club of "the knowing".

My oldest son just turned 11 and we know it is now time to tell him about God's design for sex. I feel a need to really research how we should approach this topic with him. Do you have any suggestions? Thanks for your help! Sincerely, Michelle & Brad

Edited by author 05-16-2005 02:54 AM
Amber,

Great question and Otis gave a great resonse that I will not expound on. However let me give you a quick illustration that I did with my 13-year old when I caught her in a lie recently.

Upon finding out that she had been dishonest I first took the appropriate approach to correct the behavior and talk openly about the ramification both personally as well as socially (how other respond to those who lie).

I then looked for an opportunity to drive the point home even further. It happen about a week later when we took our daughter to Inner Space Caverns (a place like Carlsbad Caverns only smaller).

We arrived early and had about a 30-min. wait until the next tour. Rachel was excited about going down in the cave. As we browsed through the gift shop Rachel was itching to buy something (with my money of course) :-)

After telling her no for several thing, I suddenly thought about her lie and felt that this would be a great time to teach a valuable lesson. I then told Rachel that she could buy one of the cheap rings that she was eyeballing. For several minutes she examined each ring until she found the perfect one. With a hugh smile on her face she exclaimed, "This is the one I want."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Yes" was the answer. So we got in the checkout line to pay for the ring. There were several customers in front of us. As we were about to reach the register I announced, "Rachel, I have decided that I am not going to buy the ring after all."

"What?" She said. So I repeated myself.

She said, "You joking?!"

"NO!" I said. I'm not going to buy the ring. Sorry.

"Why?" she asked. "You said that you would."

"Yea, but I lied." was my answer.

With tears in her eyes she said, "But daddy - you said you would."

I asked, "How does that make you feel that I lied."

"I don't like it." she said

Then I said, "Honey, I don't like it when you lie to me either. It hurt my heart when you aren't honest with me."

Her eyes dropped and she said, "I'm sorry daddy."

At that point I wrapped my arms around her shoulders and said, "Sweetheart, I'm going to keep my word and buy you the ring because I love and being honest is important to me. But do me a favor, remember this the next time you are tempted to lie. When you lie to me it really hurts me."

With a mixture of smile, relief and understanding on her face, she hugged me back, said thank you and promised to be more diligent in telling the truth.

I hope that helps a little.

God bless,

Brad

It is not unusual for a child to resort to lying or dishonesty to get his or her way. In this world of instant gratification those two characteristics, though bad, do get immediate results.

The problem is, like most bad things, what we humans rely on to get what we want can soon become a habit. In your childs case dishonesty will more than likely become a habit if not confronted.

Unintentionally, most parent tend to model instant gratification when it comes to getting rid of bad character traits in children. We panic when immediate results aren't achieved. So before I give some suggestions let me remind you that passing a Godly Heritage is a "process" not an "event." It becomes the parents responsibility to manage the "process", then God will be responsible for the product.

We can't do His job...and He won't do ours.

The primary step to success is for parents to consistantly model honesty in the home (always not usually). In the everydayness of life children are gulping down their surroundings and the tone parents set in the home is critical. For children good character traits are caught more than taught.

Second, help the child understand why he or she should not be dishonest: most importantly God's word teaches honesty, and that dishonesty will eventually cause hurt. Being dishonest might serve a purpose for what is wanted right now, but choices always come with consequences. When parents find there has been dishonesty, an appropriate consequence should follow that discovery.

Third, read or tell them stories (from the Bible and history) about people who are known for honesty and how we value those people today. When an appropriate story illustrating the honesty issue hits the news (and it will, often) dwell on it: ask how that person could have avoided the dishonesty and what they should do to make it right. Use it as a teachable moment to overtly praise honesty or to openly show disappointment for the opposite.

(Note: Ten year olds naturally respond to the word disappointment. Whether it shows or not, they do not want to disappoint parents.)

In our role (the process) as parents, we need to show that we value honesty. Over the long haul, our children will catch that component of the legacy we are passing and it will become valuable to them also.

Below is one way to open dialogue about the question of honesty!

During a family night with our grandchildren we let them believe we were going to have pizza for an evening meal. We spread the comforter on the floor near the fireplace, set the drinks and plates before them and a box that should contain pizza. At least it had pizza written on it. After opening the box they discovered, instead of pizza, cauliflower and broccoli stalks. That set up a conversation of how dishonest it was to allow them to get excited about pizza, and the box only contained what they disliked. We talked about how that made them feel disappointed and tied it to how parents feel disappointed when they to are fooled with dishonesty.

Then mom retrieved the box with the actual hot pizza in it!

Needless to say it gave us a conversation peice about honesty for a long time.

I hope this helps!

Amber: Maybe the expert, Otis Ledbetter, can respond to this one :) He could give you some real life examples. From the theory standpoint, this is covered in the 10 Commandments Family Night workbook (Commandment 9...you shall not lie). The object lessons cover the fact that lying has consequences and that the truth is the opposite of lying; and God is Truth. This might be a tool you'd want to purchase. Otis...maybe you could share some examples of how you dealt with this with your 3 kids?

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS FOR TEACHING A 10 YEAR OLD ABOUT HONESTY?

Sarah,
That is a good question, and I am glad you are taking the time to understand.

2 Corinthians 4:18 defines this component of our heritage perfectly when it says, "While we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal."

The unseen "realities" include spiritual ingredients such as faith, hope, prayer in the secret place, Heaven, the Holy Spirit, etc. They are comprised of the substance of things hoped for, yet the evidence of things not seen."


Just because they are not seen doesn't make them less real! Actually, because the unseen are "eternal" and the visible, which will pass away, are temporary - the unseen could be considered even "more real."

Think in terms of radio signals. They are all around us yet unseen. They become real to us when there is a receiver near that is tuned to the exact frequency required. The receiver exposes (models)the purpose of the invisible signal.

Therefore, the "unseen realities" are the significant sum and substance of the spiritual legacy we are passing to the next generation! And the only way they become visible to our children is through the modeling and reinforcing of those who have received and embraced them.

In the Heritage builders pack, a spiritual heritage is defined as "the porcess whereby parents model and reinforce the unseen realities of the spiritual life." Please could someone define the "unseen realities of the spiritual life" for me!
Thanks

Thank you so very much! I had never used the index-always just going to the table of contents. I found three of the verses for the Roman Road to Salvation so I'm on my way and excited about getting to use these wonderful
object lessons to teach God's truth to our kids this summer. I so appreciate you getting back to me so quickly. I have a camp meeting tomorrow and I was dreading it not knowing what direction I was going in, but the Lord used you to set me on HIS way. Thank you! Thank you! Barb

Edited by author 04-20-2005 09:59 PM
Barb: Thanks for posting! It is great to hear that you enjoy using the HB tools. A few thoughts on your "Romans Road" project...Look in the back of the Family Night books that you have and there should be an index of topics. The Family Night book that would cover all of the Romans Road components would be the workbook "Basic Christian Beliefs"...however, they are difficult to find. The "Holiday" workbook would have most of the components as well. Family.org has some of these left. Keep in touch and let us know how "God's Amazing Race" goes.

I have several of the Heritage Builder Books and love them! I am looking for a similar approach to teaching the Roman Road to Salvation at children's camp this summer. There will be groups of 6-8 children (180 children total)and our theme is, "God's Amazing Race." We will have 30 minutes a day for 4 days to engage the children in hands on learning of God's Word. I had originally thought of "racing" them through an overview of the Bible, but could not find anything other than lecture format studies.
I have used material from the Heritage Builder books at past camps and the kids LOVED it! I looked through my 6 books and cannot come up with anything to follow my theme. Does anyone have any ideas to go along with my theme-Heritage Builders or something similar? Thank you so much for your help! Blessings, Barb

On our last Family Night, I had the kids take turns throwing a coin at a target that I had. Everytime they missed, I yelled "Sin!"...over and over. When we were done, I asked them why they thought I yelled "Sin!" each time they missed. My 8 year old said "Because we didn't hit the target?". I told him that was a great answer, because when we sin we "miss the target" of what God wants us to do. We looked at Romans 3:23 and talked about how all of us sin and "miss the target" at times. I explained that the only One who never missed the target was Jesus. He was tempted to sin just like we are, but He never missed the target.

I then asked them if I paid them 25 cents to vacuum the entire house, clean the windows and sweep the floor would be a fair payment. They all replied "No!". Then I asked them if it would be fair payment to pay them $100 for cleaning their room. They were cool with this idea, but I explained that that would not be a fair payment either. We read Romans 6:23 and I explained that the payment for sin is eternal hell, however Jesus gave everything for us...it was not a fair payment that He died on the cross for us either, but He did.

Lastly, I sat them all down on a bench. I went and put on a bathrobe to look like a judge. I sat down and said "Quiet in this courtroom please!". I sternly told the 3 kids that they have all been found guilty of sin. I told my 3 year old that she stuck out her tongue out at one of her brothers and she is required to have soap put in her mouth. I told my 6 year old that he has not listened to me when I would tell him something to do; and that he would have to clean the kitchen. I then told my 8 year old that he has gotten angry and must clean the floors. I told them to get to work and do their penalty. I told them that they knew that what they had done was wrong, but they decided to do it anyway. Therefore they deserved to be punished. They were sad as they stood up. They were all of the sudden not excited about this Family Night. Then I jumped up and said, BUT because I love them so much, I will do your penalties. My 3 year old loved putting soap in my mouth; and the two boys had fun watching me sweep the floors and clean the counters. I had them sit and watch ME do THEIR penalty. When I was done, I asked them if it was fair that I had to do their penalty, when I didn't do anything wrong. They said it wasn't. I told them that this is exactly what Jesus did for us. He took our penalty; it was His gift to us for those who receive it. It was another memorable Family Night!

In case you're saying "That guy is real creative to come up with these activities"...if you knew me, you wouldn't say that, because I am one of the most UN-creative people around. But I can copy real well (how do you think I graduated from college?). I got this entire lesson from the "Intro to Family Nights" workbook.

I'd love to hear some of your Family Night stories. Would you share them with us?

Nearly everyday my 3 year old girl asks "Is it Family Night?". I tell her she has to wait 5 more days. Even the 6 & 8 year old ask about it. I thought it was a sales pitch that Heritage Builders gave by saying "If you'll just do 4 family nights, your kids will be hooked.". Turns out, they are right! For our last family night, I used a lesson out of the Family Night Wisdom workbook. I scattered several hundred coins on the floor with a few dollar bills. I told the three kids that they have 5 seconds to pick up as much money as the could. When the 5 seconds were up, there were still coins on the floor. I asked the kids if they were satisfied with the money they got. They said "No", they wanted to pick up the rest of the coins. I asked them if they would be satisfied with the money they have if I would let them pick up the rest of the coins. They said they would. So I let them pick up the balance of the coins. Then I "remembered" I had another roll of coins in my pocket that I pulled out. Of course they said "Let me have them.". I told them that they said they were satisfied. It led to a half hour conversation being a steward of what God has given us; about not always wanting more and more. It was a great family time. It is amazing how much the kids pick up from a short 30 minutes a week during our Family Night.

Do any of you have a memorable Family Night activity?

Question for those of you with kids that have grown and are outside the nest: Tell us 3 things you wish you could do over again with your kids, if you had the chance. Your wisdom is priceless to us young fathers. Thanks.

Today, 3-15-05, a family and childrens minister sat in my office and we shared thoughts. He ministers in Pennsylvania. His church is just now beginning to understand the dynamic of the church in the support role and the family (father) in the teaching role. I familiarized him with HBA and all the help it has for churches and in particular pastors of family ministry. He walked away very encouraged.

Jerry...if you read this, add your thoughts to our meeting.

About the tongue ... No! There are many in Texas that do eat cow tongue ... but I am definitely NOT one of them. :-)

At our church yesterday, the pastor allowed me to share my first Family Night experience that I shared below (obey and go the right way). After the service, we had 10 families who wanted to implement Heritage Builders and they all purchased the Family Starter Kit. One lady was literally praising God while she was buying the material saying "Thank you God for giving us these resources."; Another guy told me that every time he goes into a Christian bookstore he looks for materials that would help him be the spiritual leader in his house, but he never found anything that he felt he could use. He bought the Simple Science workbook and said that it was perfect. How refreshing to have tools that we can use!

Brad,

We we did the "tongue" lesson too...but I did the politically correct California version of squeezing the toothpaste tube and not being able to get the toothpaste back in the tube, just like not being able to take our words back. BUT I love your Texas-style of teaching! That would have made a much stronger impression on my kids! When Heritage Builders reprints that workbook, we'll need to use your illustration instead of the toothpaste. :)
PS Did you take it a step further and bond by cooking and eating the tongue after the lesson??

Kurt Drees

>From: QT - Brad Courtney <qtopic+29-aTnHdQdwkkXf@quicktopic.com>
>Reply-To: QT topic 29-aTnHdQdwkkXf <qtopic+29-aTnHdQdwkkXf@quicktopic.com>
>To: QT topic subscribers <qtopic+subs@quicktopic.com>
>Subject: Heritage Builders
>Date: 14 Mar 2005 22:57:59 -0000
>
< replied-to message removed by QT >

Kurt (and others),

Here is one I did with my daughter about a year ago. It did not work as I will explain it as I failed to give full instructions to my wife ... thus she gave away the end result. I made the necessary adjustments and was still able to teach the needed lesson. However, I will explain it as though it took place as planned so you can see how it can work if you choose to use the same "Family Night" teaching tip with your kids.

I called Rachel ... 11 yrs. old at the time. I was holding a meeting at a church so I used this opportunity to "get her thinking" before I got home.

I asked her: "Rachel, what is the most powerful weapon in the world?"

She said: "Bombs, guns, tanks ..."

I said: "Great! Write them down. When I get home we are going to talk about them."

Then I instructed my wife to go out and buy a cows tongue and put is in the freezer. I told her what I was up to and that we were going to have a great time with this when I got home.

When I arrived home Rachel was ready with her list and anxious to know more about the "most powerful weapon in the world." We got out her list and began talking about these weapons and their distructive forces and how much damage they can cause.

Then I said: "Rachel, I have the most powerful weapon in the world! Would you like to see it?"

Of course she did. So we blindfolded her and my wife got out the cows tongue. She had thawed it out earlier in the day, so we got it all 'gooey' with liquid soap and placed it in Rachel's hands. Upon removing the blindfold, Rachel quickly dropped the tongue.

After that, we sat at the table and open our Bible to James 3:3-5 where it talks about putting bits in horses' mouths, that they may obey us, and how ships are moved about the ocean with a very small helm. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things.

It was a powerful reminder of the power of the tongue. It spoke to me as well.

Edited by author 03-14-2005 07:54 PM
I wanted to tell you about our first family night 4 weeks ago. From the "Intro to Family Nights" workbook, I chose lesson #6 to start with called Obedience. I was dealing with some disobedience issues with my 6 and 8 year old boys. To illustrate obedience and the consequences of not following rules, we all loaded in the car and I told them that we were going to go to a great place to have dinner and ice cream. I had a set of instructions that read "Start the car", "Back up", "Turn right", "Turn left" and so on. I gave them to my 8 year old boy to direct me. He said "Start the car"...I started the car. He said "Back up"...I backed up. He said "Go straight"...I went straight. He said "Turn right"...I said "No, I think I'll turn left.". He said "Go straight"...I said "No, I think I'll turn right". This went on and on until we ended up right back in our driveway. I asked him how he felt when I didn't obey him...he said that it made him really mad and he didn't like that I wasn't following directions. Then I gave the same set of instruction cards to my 6 year old boy. I followed every direction that he gave me and we ended up at Foster's Ice Cream place. I gave them a slogan to remember: Obey and go the right way. We had an hours worth of conversation about how mom and dad obey, just like we expect the kids to obey. It was a fantastic first Family Night. If I tell my 3 year old girl "Obey"...she'll finish the sentence by saying "Go the right way!".

Edited by author 03-14-2005 06:22 PM
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