Hey Bill, I know you're not sold on the upcoming Hitchhiker's Guide movie, but there's a really excellent new internet-only trailer that just came out in quicktime:

http://boss.streamos.com/download/ugo/ugo/...kersguide_02_hi.mov

Don't go here! Go to the New Comments Page.

Edited by author 02-26-2005 11:39 PM
SteveM:
Umm, no, still there. You'll have to watch an ad, then click through for a "free day pass."
Unless, of course, Salon has different rules for foreigners. If so, well--here goes, the direct links:

http://www.blur.com/shorts/gopher_broke/index.html

http://www.plymptoons.com/
Look for "Guard Dog"

http://www.nfb.ca/oscars2005/nfbpop2.html
Ryan

http://www.735am.com/

Find your own link to the really sucky short. edit: Which is none of the above.

Yeah, I think possums are cute, too. Except for the tails.

I think that any "ugly animal" contest that doesn't include Cheney is rigged from the start! "With its fleshy, hairless, dick-shaped head and repulsive natural sneer, this bloated mammal rips into any prey it can find, rendering it into small, digestable chunks for <i>Halliburtonus corruptus</a>, AKA the common corporate weasel."

Speaking of animals, let's move onto the more lovable variety:

Asshole kidnaps neighbor's cat and--as his lawyer sez:

"Cortes' attorney, James Benjamin, said the cat was a stray and that his client saved the animal's life by not leaving it at an animal shelter, where it could have been killed.

'He took it to a safe-looking place where there are a lot of mice'."

The place? He dumped the cat in the FUCKING EVERGLADES.
Mice, alligators, whatevah. HUMANITARIAN of the YEAR award!

Most annoying thing: after the incident's happy ending (hooray!), he didn't get charged with "kidnapping with intent to kill," as he would if the victim was a human, but "petty theft."
People who abuse, torture or kill pets go on to abuse, torture or kill human beings. Have you ever heard of a serial killer who loved his pets? When will the law ever recognize this? Why are there harsh mandatory sentences for victimless crimes like "statuatory rape" and "pot smoking," but slaps on the wrists for the torture or murder of pets? And which perp goes on to be a bigger threat to the community?

Bugger, they pulled all the short movies.
And just when I had an hour of my life to waste!

Re ugly animal voting: I personally think that the possums, bats, and mole rats are cute.

And how could anyone think that the manatee is ugly? Lookit that whiskery snout! (Well, they can be pretty ugly... with boat propeller scars.)

...Steve Tyler...but preparations's going to be a bitch.

Especially the collagen injections you'll need for the lips :)

Today I spent a sizeable chunk of time wasting my existence in front of the tube. Life is pretty good.

I wasted about five hours doing leisure research on Rocko's Modern Life and various voice actors. Interesting fact, Zef: the B-52s did the revised version of the theme song for season 2 and up. I personally liked the first season's theme better.

Of course, it would be better if I didn't have a paper due Saturday that I have nooooo idea how to start, but still.

You have it easy. I have a small performance I need to do for one of my classes where I "fill in" for a rock star. Basically, I'll be lip-synching to the song I choose.

Thing is, I don't have the proper wardrobe and I'm torn between Prince, Rod Stewart, and Steve Tyler. (We're allowed to cross gender and race.)

It's due in about a week, but preparations's going to be a bitch.

a paper due Saturday that I have nooooo idea how to start

Make the topic "Messiah with a Mullet: The Davey-Avatar as God to Fox-RoboSluts."
One could spend hours on the introduction of pi-pi-pi-pi into his recent oeuvre. Is he presenting himself as the next Feynmann (the one who stutters), or is he a semi-literate ham-footed guy who prefers boysenberry?

Today I spent a sizeable chunk of time wasting my existence in front of the tube. Life is pretty good.

Of course, it would be better if I didn't have a paper due Saturday that I have nooooo idea how to start, but still.

Edited by author 02-24-2005 10:47 PM
World's Oldest Cat.

edit: Oops, Oldest Living Cat. If memory serves, the Guinness record is for an English 36-year-old.

1983 Commodore 64 vs Your 2005 Computer! WHO would WIN?!

I once put a floppy from a Tandy compy (without knowing it was so old) on a 586 and tried to access it. the 586 DIED.

As a, uh, bit of background (cause I sure as hell didn't think this stuff up myself) I got this from a website of some quantum physicist a few years ago. I think the baseline of his argument was that the reason quantum phenomena behaves differently when it's being observed is because there's some kind of psychokenesis going on.

Machine means anything physcial. It doesn't matter HOW complicated the machine is, or HOW long it lasts. Consciousness is a non-physical phenomena. A program of data streams could keep getting more complicated until the end of time and there's never going to be a point where it starts producing awareness. It's like if you take an abacus, and say, "This bead means one, and this bead means ten" and so forth, you can do equations and stuff on it. But the abacus itself doesn't understand any of this. And no matter how big or complex the abacus gets, or whether it's made out of beads and metal or carbon compunds, it's never going to start understanding. Not unless there's something outside working through it.

it's impossible for any machine, no matter how complicated it is, to become aware of its own data.

Define "machine." Are you talking about computers?
Modern humans have existed for at least 50,000 years.
Human ancestery dates back to at least 4 million years.
Life on Earth dates back to at least 3.5 billion years.
I think any "machine," even your PC, would "become aware" after 3.5 billion years. Especially since "computers," in the modern sense, have only existed for about 50 years. They still have plenty of time to become complicated and aware.
Neanderthal vs Cro-Magnon! 1983 Commodore 64 vs Your 2005 Computer! WHO would WIN?!

It's psychotically funny. But that's just me.

I had an interesting idea for a comic today.
Panel 1: Girl and Guy are sitting at a table in a restarant, obviously on a date. They both look happy. Girl says, "Contrary to popular belief, it's actually very easy for a woman to rape a man. You just have to get a piece of twine, strangle him until he gets an erection, and then go to town."
Panel 2: Girl continues to look happy. Guy looks wierded out. Girl says cheerfully, "I haven't done it, of course. I just know the logistics of how it would work."
Panel 3: They sit in silence. Girl continues to look cheerful. Guy continues to look freaked.
Panel 4: Guy is gone. Girl says unhappily, "I think maybe the dating scene isn't for me."

Funny, or just psychotic? I'm not sure which.

I feel the urge to point out, whenever I get ensared in a theological debate, that there are some quite logical and empirical arguments for the existance of the human soul. For example, it's impossible for any machine, no matter how complicated it is, to become aware of its own data. That's why they have those little "re-type this series of letters to prove you're not a robot" tests. The quality of being able to understand data and make meaning of it is something that only a non-mechanical, and therefore non-physical entity could ever accomplish. You needs an outside consciousness to transform the data into knowledge. Kind of like no matter how many words you write down, they'll never start to understand their own meaning, no matter how many data streams you have, or how complex their interactions are, they will never start becoming conscious.

RE: Creationism VS Evolutionism, Why can't science and religion get along?

Many evolutionary scientists believe in God, although not in the sense of the "God who fiddles with everyday shit, and gets pissed when you don't pray (if you're Protestant!) or do the Rosary (but only if you're Catholic!)". They believe in God in the sense of "somebody must've turned that first switch on." Even I have to say that a mystery that Science may never solve is: Yes, the Universe was created in the Big Bang--but where'd the Big Bang come from? What started it? Where'd the matter that made it up come from? That doesn't either disprove Science or prove God; there are just some things I don't think we'll ever know (at least, not on any timescale that matters to us alive today).

I have no problems with a hands-off God. I have problems with a hands-on God. I have a problem with a God-concept who "creates" humans with horrifying birth defects and allows mass-murdering disasters, endless poverty and endless suffering, but ONley RILLY GETs MAD when them fags marry, or when it's pointed out that "Bush isn't a very good president."
THAT version of God needs to work on His priorities.

SteveM:
The kitten and the mouse have been mortal foes since the Dawn of Time, or at least the dawn of that one time when this one mouse totally dissed the kitten. Science has proved this with all its facts 'n' shit. The earliest known combined kitten/mouse fossil clearly shows the mouse giving the finger, while the kitten says "Why, you!!

My own empirical studies of 2 kittens indicates that they want your total attention, and soon figure out which material items get the most of it. Both Killsy and Byron immediately fixated on the trackball, and attacked it. They know that it's competition.
I assume that in less computercentric households, they attack the remote.

Zef: Sweet! Boat chases! Awesome picture.

Zef: AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! That is the greatest picture EVER DRAWN!

Art, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder ;)

Well, yeah, but then there's stuff like conceptual art. for now i think i'll accept both you and Lav calling it 'art' as enough proof.

I haven't been to a gallery in a bit but, in the department of i'm-still-reading-controversial-books, Brown's 'Angels and Demons' much like 'The DaVinci Code' has had me looking at some damn fine art.

RE: Creationism VS Evolutionism, i share the POV of some of the characters in said book. Why can't science and religion get along? they're both ways to look at the awesomeness of the creation. I'm cool thinking God came up with evolution. and trusting his humans to come up with uses for male nipples. (roman centurions pierced them to hold their capes, now, isn't that useful?)


GO ASHANTI! SNUFF THAT MOUSE!

Edited by author 02-23-2005 08:57 PM
Zef scribbles. (it's not art, c'mon.)

You haven't been to an art gallery lately, have you?
The works you produce have far more art in them than a lot of the things hanging on the walls of said galeries!

Art, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder ;)

Edit: What is it with kittens and mouse cords, it may be time to look at a wireless mouse!

Anything can provoke more Zef scribbles. (it's not art, c'mon.) Nothing's safe, or sacred. afterall, MSPaint loads quickly.

If it provokes crazy Zef art, maybe I should run some more clips.

When I said you've been reading too much Gonterman, I was just kidding.

Another movie recomendation: Oliver Parker's Othello. Filmed in 1995, it was the first film version of the play that cast an actual black guy as the blackamoor of Venice. Also, though I haven't seen this written down officially anywhere, I'm fairly certain it's the first version that depicts Iago as being in love with Othello. Any flick where Kenneth Brannaugh makes calf-eyes at Lawrence Fishbourn is a good movie to me.

Don't worry, it doesn't have any psycho-symbolic car chases. Wouldn't it be cool if it did, though?

Bill:
Must be the effect of too much Gonterman.

I used to write goodly.

It's the little stuffed robot monsters in the background that get me.

It's Domokun! Raarr!

Awww, I want a Domokun toy!

*Has cute image of Zef going "I'm not tried! I'm never going to sleep!" and then immediately conking out like in that one Calvin and Hobbes strip.*

Hey! It's the Every Time You Masturbate, God Kills a Kitten kitten! I love that pic. It's the little stuffed robot monsters in the background that get me.

Clip Show:

7/6/02

"Do I need to wear a shirt to come in here?" asked a guy with his shirt in his hand. "I'd prefer that you wore it," I said. This seemed to confuse him, then he said, "Well, I'm in here anyway." and he left his flabby gut hanging out. He bought a pint of, what else, cheap vodka.
"Mark St. John!" he said, extending his hand. I shook hands and said "Bill Y--" but I was only a bit player in the movie going on in his head. He cut me off and said, "I just got out of the service! 15 years Special Forces!" I was under the impression that it was hard to get into the Special Forces. He was five feet tall with a beer gut, and about as chiseled as a diaper bag full of Jello. Maybe the Navy SEALS are now hiring people shaped like seals.
"I hated it! My unit had 500 guys in it, and 498 were killed!" Uh-huh. That's probably more American soldiers than have died since before the Gulf War. Funny how they all came from the same unit. I must've missed that on the news. But I can see how he was one of the 0.4% that survived--The enemy probably mistook him for Danny DeVito, and they were all Taxi fans. "Guys hated it so much, they were committing suicide just to get out! One guy got into an F16 and pulled the ejection seat with the canopy down!" Maybe the 498 guys all committed suicide. Man, I really need to keep up on the news!
"I tried everything to get out of the service! I'd go to parade with Mickey Mouse ears on! My pants on backwards! But they didn't care, they wouldn't let me out!" Well, duh! Klinger dressed up as a woman, and he had to stay in the Korean War for 11 years! Plus, they wouldn't want to lose a valuable asset to our nation's security like you, G.I. Pudding Pop!
He never said how he did get out. Though he admitted "I'm having a lot of trouble adjusting to this society of ours!" Yes. I'd actually guessed that already. His example of this was a Pakistani convenience store clerk who wouldn't sell him a beer and a pack of smokes because he was short 21 cents on the bill. I'm sure the fact that you're nuttier than George Washington Carver's lab table had nothing to do with it.
From the parking lot, he said "Look out the window for a demonstration! I'm a fifth degree!" Meaning "Black Belt." Ohhh, dear, I thought. Here comes proof positive of our little world apart.
If I had a videocam, I'd have the web's top downloaded MPEG file for today. He did his magic ninja moves, spinning and thrusting his little gremlin arms while his pot wobbled. He looked like the Dancing Internet Baby having a seizure. I could tell that his mighty blows had the power of a Catholic schoolgirl's slap-fight. His "high kick" barely reached his belt buckle. The best part wasn't when he almost tripped over the curb, but the "fwish fwish!" noises he made, just like in Nintendo "Kung Fu." He'd learned all his moves--and sound effects--from watching a Jackie Chan movie.
Mark St. John, Super Green Beret.
fwish!!

7/8/02

"FROM DINO, OF COURSE!" shrieks the lettering on the Egg Machine, while Dino laughs insanely and a mini-Dino hatches. I was under the impression that Dino was male. And the eggs are not from Dino, of course. They're from a brown plastic chicken that rotates and goes "BUCK BUCK!" when fed a quarter, and plotzes a plastic egg with an incredibly cheap Chinese-made toy inside. But the Egg Machine is an integral part of the TC experience, and if I have a quarter, I get an Egg. I got a dumb little plastic combination lock the size of a thumbnail. But left in the egg, Kill Kill will have fun batting it about and hearing it rattle.
I got there just in time; a line formed as soon as I sat down. A women came in with her 2 boys, one maybe 6 or 7, the other younger but old enough to not be still sucking on a pacifier. If he had more than one word in his vocabulary, I never heard it. He pointed at the Egg Machine and yelled, as best as one can yell with a plastic nipple in one's mouth, "EGGY!"
"Mommy doesn't have any quarters," Mommy said with an air of disinterest. "I'll get some when I pay." "EGGY!" said Eggbert, jamming the quarter-deposting-slider back and forth (okay, it's probably not called a "quarter-deposting-slider," but do you know the technical name yourself, Vending Machine Smartie? Ha! Didn't think so!!) "Don't do that, honey," said Mommy with renewed disinterest. This deterred Eggbert in exactly the same way UN sanctions deter Saddam Hussein from being a general asshole. "EGGY EGGY EGGY!" said the ovaphile as he repeatedly jammed the quarter-deposting-slider (or QDS, to professionals). "I don't want you to do that, honey," said Mommy. "EGGY EGGY!" agreed the yolk-crazed madman, and he stopped abusing the QDS. And began pounding on the Egg Machine's window. "Don't do that, honey," repeated Mommy as she downed an entire bottle of Prozac. "FUCKIN' EGGY EGGY EGGY!" shrieked Lil' Gollum as he went at the machine with a fire ax. "Cease and desist, for you're aggravating Mommy's lobotomy," said Mommy, wiping the involuntary drooling away. "EGGGGGYYYY!!!!" shrieked Yolky, as he sacrificed a passing virgin to the Elder God of Vending, Eggthulhu. "BLURK," said Mommy from her fetal position on the floor.
"Order up!" said the clerk, and I grabbed my nuggets. I also picked up my meal (haha! I am funny!). This was the point when Damien's mother waved a twenty at the clerk and asked, "Can I have some quarters? And a few yards of suture, as EGGY Boy's gnawed all his limbs off?"
Next time, Mommy, bring the quarters before Tasty Chicking.

I don't know. I just think they deserve re-reads.

Edited by author 02-22-2005 08:54 PM
I AM IMUNE TO ALL BUT DINO TRENQUILIZERS.

Plus i gots a leather jacket so i don't think ANYTHING can harm me.

(this is the GONTERMAN-GOD LIKE RPinG IN ACTION!)

Hmm, didn't Bill link to that kitty pics site once? Regardless, it's worth your time!

Yikes, somebody better get something to calm Zef down. *looks around mischeviously, pulls a dart gun out from behind her back, and begins rifling through her pockets for the tranquilizers*

JAWS IS TEH AWWWSUM!!

also, had anyone ever googled 'KITTEN' ? you get THIS! WHICH ALSO RULES!

yeah, i'm high on sugah. so i won't tackle FIREY EVOLUTIONARY TOPIKS!

Re: Intelligent Design:
I guess you could save the theory by saying the divine has a really bizzare sense of humor. I hope so, cause it means he and I would probably get along.

I just watched Jaws and Holloween for the first time because my screenwriting teacher not-so-subtly hinted that he would fail me on principle if I didn't. They is very muchly good! Well no, that's not true. Jaws is very muchly good. Halloween is very muchly good considering it's a slasher fic.

Re Intelligent Design: Here's a reason why I don't really believe in it.

Edited by author 02-21-2005 09:07 PM
I checked out the movie... and I actually liked it. The animation could use some improvement, but it's really nothing to gag at.

Of course Davey would get jealous--Tasu can DRAW better than him! I can't imagine a flash cartoon by Davey...

Oh, wait, yes I can. Ughh...

EDIT: The flash version of his Fauna Force doesn't count.

Here are the steps;

Go to DVK home page,
Click on forums,
Click on Login,
Username PWuser
Password phrack
Click on Stories and Roleplay
Click on Mature
Password sterning
Click on Radical Consequences

Read and laugh!

Yeah, I got in. The thread is still there in the Restricted forum and hasn't been locked or anything.

There seems to be another new member, too...StickyIcky. Is that anyone here?
I'm gonna go have BBC like Tasu's movie.. and it WAS amusing in a bizarre way. Wonder if we can actually get Davey to get jealous? ;)...

Edited by author 02-21-2005 06:05 PM
Has any else been able to get in? I can't.

edit: Nice typo, William.
And there really is a movie! In Flash, which my Pookie refuses to play!

or because Davey's starting to realize he's being mocked?

He felt threatened for the awesomeness of Tasu's stuff against his.

I just checked, the thread is here.
The password for the mature forums is "sterning".

Yes I did, it is here.
It is as wierd as the text version, it has mummies and monicals!

Edited by author 02-21-2005 04:27 PM

Tasu has just posted a link to a movie about the internet story, this could be good!

I hoped you saved it--Davey's killed the thread, as far I can see.

Username: PWuser
Password: phrack

Tasu has just posted a link to a movie about the internet story, this could be good!

I have to sign in to read Tasu's posts?

Can we get an ID & password that we could all use without raising any alarms at Festung Daveropa? (just for reading--no posting)

Aw man, I have to sign in to read Tasu's posts?

Also, here at the college we are having a swing dance. It's being advertized as "more fun than a stick." If I were Tasu, I could write something hilariously ingenious about that.

Why was it moved to a protected forum? Because the nonsex in the first one, or because Davey's starting to realize he's being mocked?

Edited by author 02-21-2005 09:17 AM
Rabbit: Didn't somebody here write Stargate fics, or am I hallucinating again? Could this be a clue?

You're not thinking of my brief excursion with a "Firefly" fic, are you? I swear on Buddha's robes, it's not me.

Fk- Has anyone ever met a Gonterman in their life?

The SCA seems to draw them, although they tend not to last once it becomes clear that they have to actually interact with humans. Example: The guy who knew all about flying helicopters thanks to his girlfriend in France-- the one that wrote a lot of the popular songs performed by U2 (edit-- forgot! she made her money as a Paris runway model!). His martial arts were so advanced that he couldn't show us a front kick, as without a target the momentum would flip him over. The last time I stumbled over him, he was an advisor to the local Catholic school board (apparently they required input on curriculum from unemployed, recently-uncloseted gays with no particular credentials in Education).

Freakazoid was frequently funny. Scrrrrream.

Tasu strikes again. The thread he started has been moved to the Restricted Forum. But he wrote another gem!
Yup, he's definitely taking the piss. Like BBC, I think he's smarter than his writing style lets on ;)

Well all that sex stuff really isnt necessary is it? Im gonna start over

Let's say one day, im walking down the street (this is the storynow) and salormoon falls out of the sky. She lands directly on my shoulders, sending me into the ground like a sack of potatos. Suddenly, a sack of potatoes nearby explodes, to show the irony of the situation of sailormoon crusing me and well, afterall, i am a big fan of sailor moon! so since i totally ripped off mr. gonterman's opening of sailormoon falling on someone, he appears through a time portal along with gandalf. Then Mr. Gonterman says "You steal everything from me... is that my bike?" and i slide your bike behind my back cooly and say "nooooooooo...." so then gandalf is like "Best break yourself nucka" and shoots a +10 transform spell that turns me into steven hawking (who everyone knows, is a retarded astronaut or something) and i go careening off of the sidewalk in my wheelchair, only insted of a sidewalk, it's the plank on a pirateship which is on fire. As soon as im sailing toward the ocean, all the cannons fire on the pirateship. All the cannon balls hit me at once and everyone knows whenever you beat up a wheelchairbound guy, jesus himself steps up to bat. "Gandalf" jesus says "I saw you... shootin cannonballs at steven hawking!!" "Poop" shaith gandalf, who was allready on his way to hell because jesus turned on noclip and donkey punched him. Then it's just me and Dave-kun, and he walks up and slaps me in the face. the end.
The theme of the story is: you dont steal from Mr. Gonterman! Cause there's a world of hurt just waitin for bitches

Freakazoid?

I believe you may be thinking of the phrase "Nutbunnies!"

FGGN was a budget video we sold at Sam Goody. It looked REALLY bad, and certainly had a memorably awful title. It just kinda entered my lexicon.

Hmm...apparently, it really IS bad...

Edited by author 02-20-2005 09:17 PM
Nobody knows what I'm referring to with the Nutzoid comment, either.


Could it be related to one of the BESTEST cartoons ever, Freakazoid? (i keep hoping one day one of the comps will shock me and GIVE ME TEH POWARS OF TEH INTARNAT!)

Edit: D'oh, 15 years? i don't think freakazoid is THAT old

everyone's bound to find crazy people in their life, since sometimes they don't look so crazy and you befriend them innocently and then they go all CRAZY GONTERMAN.

HAHAHA! I guess that after 15 years of using the phrase, "Then he went all Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid," I can now replace it with "Then he went all CRAZY GONTERMAN!" Nobody knows what I'm referring to with the Nutzoid comment, either.

Don't know about the rest of you, but all my Google ads are for "fart machines."

*shakes some debris off FK, puts blanky on her shoulders*

Ha ha! *desk suddenly collapses on her*

Okay, okay. *Pulls down blanket to uncover FK's head, gets up, bonking head on desk in the process*

Wow, Zef! That makes so much sense! I'm feeling a little better already! Except, I wish it weren't so dark...

Edited by author 02-20-2005 08:20 PM
*puts blanket over FK* mwahaha.

Sometimes i'm afraid i could be like him, (i've said it before here) as we have things in common, i guess. I strive hard to NOT be like him >_<

Plus, everyone's bound to find crazy people in their life, since sometimes they don't look so crazy and you befriend them innocently and then they go all CRAZY GONTERMAN. It's usually not your fault.

What I'm retardedly trying to say here is, life doesn't have to suck because you know someone Gonterman-Like. afterall, you COULD be him. that'd SUCK.

Life sorta sucks when you realize that one of your "friends" is kinda like David Gonterman: psychotic, unable to see their own flaws, and begging for attention as the "helpless victim" every step of the way.

Except that David Gonterman seems more civil.

It's going to take me a while to accept the fact that I know/knew someone who was far worse than David Gonterman in terms of mental (in)stability and personality. *goes into fetal position under the desk*

Has anyone ever met a Gonterman in their life?

Zef: No, you're not wrong, Davey is using the Japanese 'Ecchi' to mean perverted. And misspelling it, as usual.

This is coming from a man whose BOTH 'role-playing' fics on his own forum involve him/Johnny deflowering a girl and thinks being engulfed by a fursuit is HAWT!1
HE can talk 9_9

Edited by author 02-20-2005 06:59 PM
The wha? I mean, I say "ECCH!" when I look at Davey's art (take another look at Toni-Bi Onion-Ring's eyeballs!), but what's that?


Yay! i get to answer!

If i'm not wrong, Ecchi is japanese for 'H', which they use to abreviate 'Hentai', which just means pervert. ecchi is used for 'perverted' situations or persons. or just stuff of a sexual nature. And 'Hentai' can also be Adult Drawings! that sometimes involve foxes!

RE: Location, this might help. (The spot marked D.F. is mexico city) About the building, i've seen it, it's a good hour away from where i live. going properly to Mexico city takes anywhere from an hour to three hours or more, depending on the spot and if you're taking roads or the subway.

Steve, you know my heart aches from lack of kittie, and you stab me with kitty goodness! it's only forgivable because MY xbox DID need cable replacement (lucky cousin's didn't) and i already asked for one. thanks for pointing that out.

Edited by author 02-20-2005 06:10 PM
I think if Tasu was from here, he/she would've fessed up by now. The Stargate crack was the first thing I laughed at--funny, but it made perfect sense for a fanfic writer.
(edit--err, actually, it was the LAST thing, as it was at the end. I think my brain got confused while spasming at the mummy)

I'd like to know who it is, simply because I've read that maybe 10 times, and I still laff. It's the funniest thing I've read since the long-gone Super Happy Fun, and that was (checks)--hell, 5 years ago!
"Do meah!"

edit: Davey (in response to our little minx BBC's "troll-dar"): "Then yours must be more sensitive than mine. Or at the least, it's crowded out by my Echii-Dar."
The wha? I mean, I say "ECCH!" when I look at Davey's art (take another look at Toni-Bi Onion-Ring's eyeballs!), but what's that?
(Too many Google results to figure out, but it frequently is matched with "hentai"...Is that the Japanese word for "lusting after badly-drawn fox suits"?)

Re: Tasu: Wait a second...

Im not very good at writing stories... my story writing teacher said all my stories are just stargate episodes. That really turned me off to story writing for awhile, but my good friend said to perservere.

Didn't somebody here write Stargate fics, or am I hallucinating again? Could this be a clue?

Having just consulted with Mr Mimi, my resident geek, he says that those Linux OS's are infinitely customisable. If you know the code and can poke around under the GUI's hood, you can make it do whatever you want. But if you're not... like Davey is... then you might run into headaches. Why the fudge doesn't he use Red Hat? Much wider distro and a lot more documentation!
He COULD take the middle, slightly purpose-defeating road and end up running a Windows emulator on Linspire...oh, the fun.

Even if it DOES mean it gets quiet for Team Phrack Whore for a while....

****Linspire****

Ah yes, I don't think we will be hearing much from Davey for a while.
I use linux a lot, on servers, it is not a desktop OS in my opinion.
The apps are not there yet and trying to install software is like trying to make sense of the strip on the flakes.
He is in for much merriment and hair pulling, HA HA.

I wonder how long it takes him to return to Windows?

BWA-HA-HA!... yes, that's very true, Steve ;)
I guess Davey subscribes to the ID4 school of computer logic. If Jeff Goldblum can hack into alien ships with a Mac, why not a fursuit?
And who's betting this gay hacker of his uses ****Linspire****?

And a fursuit as advanced as Scarlet's presumably is would have a firewire port, not that old-fashioned USB. Probably even Bluetooth, no wires needed!

OK, what I want to know is where the hell did he get the driver from. I bet Windows Update does not contain a driver for a 'large breasted bitch fox suit'.
I don't think even google would help out with it.
And I do know that you can't just plug something in to a USB port and have it automagically work without a driver on the PC end.

Sometimes Davey falls down his own gapping logic holes.

Edited by author 02-20-2005 01:15 PM
Oh joy... has anyone seen Davey's 'Dead Davey Day' pic? Y'know...the 'I am too disorganised to stick to a schedule' concept he pinched from Megatokyo?
Oh gods, ANOTHER OMG!tehGAY! character.
According to this, a right-ear stud hints at a passive role. Not that I reckon Davey took the 30 seconds I did to look that up, or he wouldn't be saying 'TELL ME IF IT'S WRONG BECAUSE I CAN'T BE BOTHERED DOING MY OWN RESEARCH'.
And 'Toni is 'bi'....oh, let me get out my Eric Idle voice for this one:
"Is-er...is your gay into...FURRIES?... eh? Eh? FURSUITS? He asked him knowingly..."
And a fursuit as advanced as Scarlet's presumably is would have a firewire port, not that old-fashioned USB. Probably even Bluetooth, no wires needed!

See what you people miss by not reading The Flakes?
http://snowflakestudios.keenspace.com/d/20050220.html
Davey introduces us to another gay character, who looks exactly like Goodlow except for an onion-ring shaped earring. "But he does consider himself to be 'Bi' noawadays. Wink. Wink. Wink." Because, of course, sexual orientation is a matter of choice, and what gay man could resist a giant fox bitch? Note the subtly placed arrow, so we know which character isn't the fox.

I call Troll on Tasu. He goes from coherent introduction to netspeak for the actual story summary.

Someone's taking the piss out of Scarlet. Not that it doesn't DESERVE it, mind you ;)

How cute... Davey calls everyone ELSE a troll but can't spot a real one on his own forum.

Edited by author 02-20-2005 10:17 AM
Steve: That's no kitten. That's a muppet! Entirely too cute to be the real thing.

Zef: I was going to make a stupid joke about that site not working on Netscape because of the "funny writing", but Bill beat me to it. (edit-- he beat me to the joke. The stupid was going to be my own contribution.)

On the Tasu: I vote real. If the internet teaches us anything, it teaches that there are degrees wierds FAR beyond the visible spectrum, and it's about time DVK attracted his own colour out of space. Think he knows how to banish someone from his forum, once it turns threatening?

Re Ashanti: Pics of fuzzy dark kittens make me squeal with happiness. And she has a fans already!

Rabbit: Swamped with school work, too, huh? Well, it's lightened for me, since I've put in all my hours for helping to build an entire set for one of three plays the theatre school will put on this semester. (Yes, it is considered school work; it's required for all theatre and dance majors.)

But there will always be tests to study for.

Re Tasu the Faux Furry Tale Teller: The misspellings seem deliberate to me... so I have to conclude that this has gotta be the best joke on Davey I've seen yet!

TASU YOU ARE THE BEST FRIEND! YOU MAKE ASSES FALL OFF! FROM LOL!
If you are not from this list--we will find you. Ohhh, we WILL find you! And we will make sweet, sweet love. When you're not home, and with someone else. On your own bed.
Since we love you, when done, we will mop up the wet spot.
Assuming you leave us enough Kleenex.

Please tell me this isn't for real.

It wasn't me, however wrote it is either very caerful to spell the odd word wrong, or a kid.

Either way it was the wierdest shit I have read in a long time.

"They realize then that they're both fighting the internet, so they go and look for Ian's dick and put it back on and they leave following the trench more."

TASU--You are my new BEST FRIEND!!!!
AHHH-HAHAHA! It's a JOKE! Someone's Bulwer-Lytonning Davey's ass with a faux-furry joke! And Davey's buying it!
Tasu...here's a hundred bucks, do it s'more!

Ok, I've been gone for awhile (working on my thesis for school), so I'm hoping that this was written by somebody in here as a joke. Please tell me this isn't for real.

Sorry to be repetitive, I know SteveM just linked to the same thing.

Umm, I just came across this on Daveys forum.
I think it proves that there are wierder people out there than him.

His comment, I like the furries, but not all the sex.

My comment, OK as I walk away slowly.

Edited by author 02-19-2005 11:24 PM
I wasted 40 minutes of my life trying to figure out where Cuautitlan Izcalli is. You'd think in this modern age, when using the word "teen" in a search turns up 8 billion pr0n sites, you could find a damn actual PLACE really easy. But No, and most of the sites in Mexico couldn't spell English worth SHIT! It was like they were in some foreign language or something!

However, this site claims that you live 1 mi / 2 km from Mexico City. And also from what is possibly the ugliest building I've ever seen. If they'd bought more pink paint, they wouldn't've run out so soon!

Ashanti--blurry but cuuute!

We just got a new kitten, her name is Ashanti, she is chocolate brown with aqua eyes.
Pics are available here. I took them with my webcam so the quality is poor, one day I will get a digital cam.

Enjoy.

Edited by author 02-19-2005 06:16 PM
ZEF! BREATHE THROUGH A WET HANKY!!

We're immune to smoke. and radioactive milk. Or milk with crap in it. (both bought cheap by the government and distributed to the masses)

But seriously, that's only halfway accurate. I don't live exactly in MC, but sometimes when i did go there, i found it harder to breathe.

The SPACE BLIMP is the GREATEST THING Davey ever gave to the UNIVERSE!
Not as great as, say, a Hyperspace Zeppelin, but, you know, STILL AWESOMELY GREAT! It's a BLIMP--in SPACE! Not like no sucky airplane!
GASBAGS RULE! FIXED-WING RIGID-FRAMED AIRCRAFT DROOL!!!!
SPAAACE--BLIIIMP!!! Sounds like an insult from Zorak, which only makes it LIKE 900 MILLION TIMES KEWLER!
SHUT UP, people with your fixed-wing fixations! It's GASBAGS all the way! w00t! IT IS BA-LLOOON!
Yeah, so you wouldn't wanna ride the SPACE BLIMP? It goes into SPACE!
I'm the Internet's Most Dangerous BLIMP FAN!
hey, GUESS WHERE I ALWAYS EAT! I'll give you a hint--SHAPED LIKE A BLIMP! But full of meat!
You guessed..."Blimpies"? eerrnt!! WRONG! You Lose! It's Subway, whose ill-named "subs" are actually zeppelin-shaped, but that was implied in my hint of "blimp-shaped" earlier.

Oh, and they changed my meds. Anyone notice?

New meds are shaped like--
Flintstones!
DRIVING A CAR WITH YOUR FEET IS FRUITY PEBBLESIFFIC!!

I'll admit that I dabble in Magic from time to time, but it's only for my boyfriend. He's been playing for a few years now and could be considered a seasoned player. (He gets to listen to me talk about voice acting and drawing, and I get to throw some dice and tap some mana. The beauty of compromise...)

I couldn't translate what Davey wrote, though Pat probably could. But his analysis would probably be riddled with several mentions of "that damn blimp in space".

(Yes, I showed him Davey's works. He said he was scarred for life and would never lay eyes on those ink scratches again. Of course, three months later he checked out the Gonterman Shrine again...)

I just re-upped my paid sub to Weatherunderground, the bestest weather service, and the no-ads sub is a whole $5 a year. I decided to add the local weather reports from the regular posters here (whose locations I remember). And everywhere from Modesto to Minneapolis, Sydney to Saskatoon, Greenville to Atlanta to Pittsburgh to Boston (the unalliterative cities), it's a variant on "partly cloudy."
And in Mexico City--"Smoke."
ZEF! BREATHE THROUGH A WET HANKY!!

The Bakazation of Scarlett continues, with a strip in which NOTHING happens. Not worth clicking on, really

Except for the fact that he spotted a type in his own work, that has got to be a first.

Ooh! Ooh! New Davey-dirt!
He's written another two 'articles' for that M:TG site he joined... and the comments are priceless. The articles themselves are nigh incomprehensible to those of us who are not Magic players, but judging by the comments, he truly has no IDEA what he's doing:
Seasoned players: "You suck at this, man" Davey:"OMG!HOWDAREYOUIT'SNOTYOURCOLUMNI'LLWRITEWHATI*LIKE*!!!"

And yep, it seems this site is desperate for article writers. Just like Snowcrap Studios ;)

Edited by author 02-18-2005 10:43 PM
ever notice how Davey gives major plot explanations in his liner notes rather than in the strip itself?
Take away his obligatory comment and you'd have no IDEA what's going on. Even WITH his comments, sometimes that's a stretch.

Well.. we get to see lingering heaving Scarlet bosom, I guess that's SOMETHING happening....

Edit. Meanwhile, over in the Forbidden Forum, members are still throbbing and...HEY, I just noticed something!:
Davey: JB blinks and sighs to Susan, who snuggles up to him after pushing the rest of her way in.
...the rest of HER way in? Who's packing the tackle in this coupling??

The Bakazation of Scarlett continues, with a strip in which NOTHING happens. Not worth clicking on, really.

it just might be a third nipple that never fully developed

I have one of them, about two inches below my right nipple, it even has a little nipple on it!

Yeap, I'm wierd like that.

Re Top Ten Vestigial Organs: Way cool read, along with the Bestiary site Zef linked to a short time ago. These are sites I can spend literally hours on.

My friend Adam was born with one wisdom tooth that didn't come in until he was 20 or 21. He was told that it would have to come out, but amazingly, the thing shifted away from the rest of his teeth and didn't have to be removed.

An interesting fact about nipples that I read in a magazine: In fetal development, humans grow a "semi-circle" of buds on their stomach. Eventually these dissolve in the later stages, but in some cases, at least one remains.

If you have a mole on your stomach, it just might be a third nipple that never fully developed.

*clicks on the Gonterman pic link and covers her eyes, leaving just a slit between her fingers so she can see the unrelenting terror of--*

That's it? Sheez. He looks just like any other schmuck.

Well, he looks like a schmuck that would write dirty posts to some teenage girl on Christmas Day on his own forum...

Oh, my. I gotta say, while I didn't have a real preconception, I'm totally unsurprised by the details. Any bets it's Mom behind the viewfinder?
"Smile, dear."
"I am, mom."
"Smile nice."
"OK!"
"Davey, that's not the smile I know you can give your mommy."
...for about three minutes, resulting in harrifying clown rictus.

...a miscellanea of weeds known for encouraging sexual
desire with discharge. By victimization this pills...

The national radio service here has a contest on Saturdays, in which words to a popular song are fed into babelfish, then back, and the listener who can figure out the source of the gibberish gets a prize (in many ways, Canada is a very spread-out small town).

This photo is of him. He posted it himself. I was active on that forum as "Jen White" at the time.

O_O GAH!!!...okay, THAT was something I needed to see at 7am (I know I know, I didn't HAVE to click it. But at least I'm AWAKE now!)
Iiiii dunno. Funnily, I don't think I'm disappointed :). He would NOT look out of place at a comic convention. Yup, middleaged otaku, right there(and this photo's gotta be a few years old already, right?). All that's missing is the M-TG tshirt, a swath of huge sample bags on one arm and a McDonald's bag in the other.
I remember someone on PoE once posted a huge overweight sweaty con idiot in a Sailormoon outfit and claimed it was Davey, but it turned out to be a joke.

If the photo ISN'T him, then ah well...*shrug* The mystery remains untainted ;)

Edited by author 02-18-2005 01:38 AM
But would even Davey be so clueless as to post an unflattering picture like that to PoE? Maybe even he's smart enough to hoax them.

Yeah, but if he was smart he would have posted this

Edit: bloody complicated html code 8)

Edited by author 02-18-2005 01:19 AM
Holy schotz! His head is like it was drawn using a protractor! Charlie Brown doesn't have a head that round!
Do NOT wanna know what the hands are doing...

(edit)...But would even Davey be so clueless as to post an unflattering picture like that to PoE? Maybe even he's smart enough to hoax them.

Holly Phrack!!!

That doesn't even come close to my mental image of the freak.

Where is the mullet ?

Edited by author 02-18-2005 12:38 AM
Waitwaitwait! I went back another year and found it!

This pic was posted by David himself in August of 2001 for the Portal of Evil crowd.

Edited by author 02-18-2005 12:38 AM
OKAY, I went to the Flakes and I can see why Bill is their only viewer besides the guys who scrawl this shit.

I mean WTF doesn't even come close to the confusion my brain feels when I tried to decode that h-bomb shit.

Oh well, I book maked it to punish myself, I suppose it's not fair that Bill is the only person to suffer.

Edit: WTF is this about ????????

I'm searching for that Gonterpic. If I can find it, I'll post it. It was a few years ago, and the source picture's no longer available, dernit.

(there'll be a) Snowflake (in Hell if we ever publish anything that doesn't suckulate) Studios claims that Davey's doing double shifts of S:PI for the rest of month. Perhaps this is the first sight of his new-found productivity.

I can't believe that I'm the only one reading their page! (If blank-eyed stares of disbelief counts as "reading") People, THEY REALLY, REALLY SUCK! Like in Classic Ferd'nand "sucks the air out of the room" there's-no-joke-even-POSSIBLE-here air from the room.

"H-Bomb: Endgame" WTF?!?!?! I really think that the Flake's audience is me and the ...okay, I groped for the word here, but "cartoonists" or "artists" or even "bathroom graffiti-istes" is inapplicable. It's me and the "guys who scrawl this shit" that read it. Seriously, no one else can spend 2 seconds a day to view the WORST comics ever made? They're so bad, it's like they were made by aliens, trying to discover what "humour" is.

ALIEN 1: There is a creature shaped like an animate bomb.
ALIEN 2: Then--random words! About unresolved angst against 2000's Joe Lieberman and then the animate bomb says "KAAHHHH--MEEEE!" at a Negro for a week.
ALIEN 1: I am lost. As I am when reading "Cathy." Ergo, funny to the hairless apes. Print it! When they collapse from this..."laughter" of theirs, we shall conquer!
ALIEN 2: "Friends" is on.
ALIEN 1: "Joey" is also "funny"! Let us watch and formulate new strategies!
ALIEN 2: I shall attack Wal-Mart and commandeer some CheetOs!
BILL: Okay, this isn't funny and I have no idea where it's going. I could get a spot on the Flakes easy!

XBox owners will want to visit xbox.com
There is a fault with the power cords on 70% of XBoxes sold to date.

Scarlet in all her zoot glory.

I still can't make sense of the dialog, but that is nothing new.
It also doesn't look like he got any paper stumps yet.

Edited by author 02-17-2005 11:13 PM
But he's thirty-five and working scraped-up shifts at McDonald's

I haven't been in a MickeyD's in over 15 years, but back in the day, they had job applications on the placemats.

I've used the phrase "as redundant as a 'We're Hiring!' sign at a McDonalds" before. I'm reminded of an ancient Letterman joke, a sign that was a red circle with a silhouette of an ancient crone wearing McD's clothing--it meant "We'll Hire Anybody!"
And if they don't want you to work more than twice a week...Trust me, if I couldn't get a 16-hour-a-week fast food job for any other reason than me refusing to wear a hairnet, I'd either enter a deep period of self-appraisal or just throw myself into the deep fryer.

Kits: You have a point. The curiosity is niggling very sharply, but there is an allure in keeping the mystery. He could look just totally ordinary and not like the archetypal pasty middle-aged otaku.. which would be a bit of a let-down.

But he's thirty-five and working scraped-up shifts at McDonald's.... c'moooooonnn, anyone with an ounce of respectibility and self-pride can do better than that. Something about his demeanor or personality(well, alright, we KNOW that the latter is probably a big yes) is offensive enough that he can't do better for himself.

The Davey pic might be covered by Negs' nondisclosure agreement with AOL--they wouldn't want people to think he's a typical user. ;)

SPAM:I've always thought that those are made with poor comp. translations, or stringing words together.

Yes they are, they do this to try and avoid the bayes filter running on the email server. It does not work however. They also try using numbers for letters, ie p3n1s, but that does not work.

Fighting SPAM is fun, I also get paid for it which is an added benefit.
The lengths that the spammers are going to these days to try and get their mail through is amazing. Trying to get spam into a corporate mail server is nearly impossible, if the mail administrator knows what they are doing :)

Anyway, enough of about spam, bring on the DVK pics!

Steve:"How the hell do these idiots expect to sell this crap."

Spam:"By victimization "

I've always thought that those are made with poor comp. translations, or stringing words together.

Yeah, i'm bored at work too. getting funky wid this Bestiary.

SPAM:My product is an all elemental herbaceous lozenge
containing a miscellanea of weeds known for encouraging sexual
desire with discharge. By victimization this pills you
should experience an increase in intimate desire, a betterment
in your size and performance, besides as increased power
and delight during intimate action.

Going through the spam filter at work, I came across this gem.

I don't know about you, but there is no way in hell that I am taking an "miscellanea of weeds known for encouraging sexual
desire with discharge", YUCK.

How the hell do these idiots expect to sell this crap. Sorry, I forgot, the world is full of stupid people.

Hold on a sec, guys. Remember what Ernst said about calling the guy up? To see his actual physical form might have the same effects as hearing his voice: it might engage our sympathy and shed the mythical status of the man.

Plus seeing the Mullet Master in an actual photograph might have some serious psychological effects.

(Can't say that it's tempting, though.)

Negs has Daveykins pictures, ooh ooh please, please share them with us. Please.

FUCK Kitty cloning. $35,000? that much money could do MANY, MANY things. Including making life awesome for MANY, MANY poor kitties.

The pet cloning thing is, I suspect, an extension of the whole (North) American inability to accept death as a part of life. Vis:
- Let's have a war, but work very hard at keeping any sensation that soldiers are being hurt/killed from becoming current;
- Methods for dealing with dead people: cram 'em deeply underground in expensive boxes OR reduce 'em to a fine ash-- make-up and a good suit required;
- Avoid organ donation, either because you think you'll need them later (?!?) or because you don't want to tramatize your loved ones with the thought that someone is diggin' around in your torso for useful left-overs.

I think those inclined towards cloning are also unaware of the science enough to believe that it's actually the same animal as the previous one. I suggest a watching of "The Boys from Brazil" prior to writing any cheques.

Negs:Hey, have you seen a picture of Gonterman himself? He ain't got the figure of a salad eater.

I haven't... you HAVE, Negs? Ooh, WHERE praytell did you see this picture and can I see, too? ;)

I find it interesting that Davey likes to rag on Michael Moore about being fat. Hey, have you seen a picture of Gonterman himself? He ain't got the figure of a salad eater.

Re cloning: I'm not against it on a scientific basis. In fact, I'm all for it, because it could be damn useful. Growing organs instead of relying on the hand-me-downs of those few people who aren't afraid to sign their licenses... however, I just shake my head at those who clone their pets because they can't accept Mr. Fluffy's death. All the spare dogs and cats out there because owners can't be bothered to get their pets fixed, and they think they can get their old pet back by copying it? Argh.

Lils:
I link to the cat cloning articles because I'm really against any cloning except the "therapeutic" kind (ie, cloning organs for transplant and such). Cloning your pet is an act of the purest selfishness. It's saying that you have no room in your heart for anyone new. I dearly love my kids (maybe people have picked up on that), but there can be only one Killsy and only one B-Toes. When their time to leave comes, I may never get another pet. Or I may find room in my heart for someone new, while keeping a space to cherish the memories of their personalities at the same time. It would dishonor those memories to make a copy, rather than admit that there could be but one of them, unique in all the universe.

I didn't think that Davey was all that bonkers. I mean, it just wasn't classic Davey screeding. Yeah, the Michael Moore's Cartman "joke" AGAIN. If he worked at McDonald's and still lived at home with Mommy at 35, Davey might like him.

Note that he's changed his Deviant icon from that crappy Johnny Briz thing to that crappy "Adam as Peter Pan doing the Japanese peace sign thing." Ahh, back to the good ol' Daveycentric universe! I predict nothing but FUN from this "I am Davey and Peter Pan" development!
(Unless he just abandons Baka for months again)

Apropos de nada, because I've currently got zilch time here on the library kompyuter, 3 items...

(Note on today's pseudonym: to this day, Bill, I never fail to laugh at the line, "Let's youse and me pitch some woo!" You comedic genius, you!)

Ernst, feel free to tell my fellow hockey fan Joe Bro that today I'm wearing all black (admittedly not an anomaly) and my Zamboni Kangol cap in mourning for the officially canceled NHL season. This sucks, IMO.

Billy boy--re: pet cloning, there's now legislation afoot here in Cali (gee, go figger) to outlaw this practice because something like 60% of the cloned animals die almost immediately. The fact that the folks who want this procedure should get off their wealthy asses and adopt a pet from their local shelter is an unacknowledged co-factor, I guess.

And even more quickly--yes, nice library lady, I am logging off really soon!--the biggest local story in these parts for the past week has been a Land Park (~Sacto) couple who put up effigies of dead U.S. soldiers on the front of their house. I don't have time to find you the right article via Google, but as the defender of free speech that you are, I thought you might be interested in the ongoing contretemps. (Personally, I don't agree with what they did because I think it was ill-concieved and poorly executed, but I'm also a huge fan of free speech, so hey.)

Guh-huh?

This must be the last fifty feet of the downward spiral to complete and utter madness for Davey.

(Ah, and he's still pointing out that Michael Moore is fat and loud. Don't Conservatives and Republicans ever think of new insults?)

Hoo boy... Davey explains his current state of Eisner-hate. It surprised me, considering how vehemently anti-Eisner he's been so far:
link to thread
Davey: What I wanted to write down is an informal essay on my view of the State of the Walt Disney Company and my personal views on the whole Eisner v Disney bit. My platform is: Michael E. Eisner isn't an Evil Executive (He turned down Michael 'Cartman' Moore's 2-hour long Political Attack Ad and putted out a pro-America film instead. That's a sign as of the type of man he is), but merely incompetent in the role he is in. Only in this case, the imcompetence rises to the level of a Scott Adams comic strip.

Eisner is teh EB1L!!!....oh, but he refused to distribute Farenheit 9/11, so he's obviously a good Republican egg to Davey. WTF???

I really hope there isn't going to be a draft. I'll admit this before any chickenhawk does: I'm scared to death about the idea of going into a battle. I'm not proud of being scared, but it's a fact.

But I probably wouldn't pass the initial examination. And I have no useful skills for the military unless they decided that actors-in-training who draw in their spare time could somehow bring peace to the Middle East...

... wait a minute. I've got it--we could put on plays and hold art exhibits! It couldn't possibly be worse than a pre-emptive strike!

The article on deja-vu is interesting, and I like the notion of a barely-remembered dream being the genesis of the sensation. However, it doesn't address the thing that I get, wherein the dream is extremely well-remembered and generally not at all symbolic. Sure wish I could dream some lottery numbers, instead of "here's some boring crap that's going to happen."

Let us never speak of the R********K again.

Please forget I said anything and I won't mention the Goodies touring Australia next month!

RadioSHARK went from "This is something I NEED!" to "Wtf, I'll never figure out if it'll even work on my PC!" in about 3 hours. A new record!
Let us never speak of the RadioSHARK again.

Media Player Classic is, in my opinion, the best media player out there. Plays real media files without infecting your PC with RealPlayer Virus player. Try it, it's free and works great.

The WMA format is what the Windows version of RadiaShark saves it's files as. As Mimi said, you could then use something like Itunes to convert it to a different format or you could just use Media Player Classic to play them.

WMA is an annoying Windows-only format that ONLY Windows Media Player will play. I hate it myself, so I just get iTunes to convert my WMA files to AAC(the format favoured by iPods).
I think AIFF files will play quite happily on Winamp and iTunes at the very least.
About the only thing most sound players WON'T play are Real Audio files. It took me ages to find a Real player that WORKED on my WinXP machine. Real Player 10 kept making it brainfart and not install.

Steve:
Oh crap that's work! I know my computer the exact way I know my car: I know when it works. I don't know how it DOES it. But I'm pretty sure my computer has sufficient RAM & etc. It just has problems playing certain soundfiles (Flash, RA or anything Wimamp-specific). I'm sure that it'll run RadioShark, I just don't know if it'll play anything it records!

There's an aiff.dll file on both HDs, and it played the tests as Quicktime, so I thought that I might've set that as the default player for those files. It does play .wav. I don't know what WMA is (Windows Media something that begins with A, I assume).
Thanks for the help!

Tatami crackers are good with spoiled milk.

Edited by author 02-15-2005 10:45 PM
Tech Question:
If I can get these to play, that means that I can get this to work on my PC, yes? It's like a Tivo for radio.

Umm. no.
The aiff files are Apple Mac format audio files, your system needs to be able to play WMA or WAV files. It also needs to be runnning Windows XP.
I don't know what your system specs are, IE CPU, RAM, version of Windows, free harddrive space ETC, so I cannot gice you an answer about running the RadioShark.

Give me your system specs and I can give you a better idea.

Edit, you also need a USB port, although they are standard these days.

Tech Question:
If I can get these to play, that means that I can get this to work on my PC, yes? It's like a Tivo for radio.

"laser-sighted drill press "

Proof that anything, from guns to tools can be made more BADASS with lazzer.

Romance: My wife got me a laser-sighted drill press (really!). I got her "Lord of the Rings: Return of the King" for the PS2. I spent a good part of last night making book-binding equipement while she was upstairs shouting "EAT HOBBIT WRATH!" It was the best Valentine's ever.

"Don't despise Canada."

Awwwww. Thanks, anonymous nihon-ko!

Yeah, but the 15th is Bitterness Day!
And here I always thought it was Cheap Chocolate Day....

Happy Konsumerism Day
It's St. Valentine Got Bumped Off Day!
Yeah, but the 15th is Bitterness Day!

Something a segment of us might find amusing, from today's J-list update:

I've seen this tendency to be creative using English time and time again in
Japan, for example in the many products that use English to invoke an emotional
response, like Melty Kiss (chocolate fudge sold only in the winter). The other
day I was eating some Triscuits which I had brought from the U.S., and offered
one to my son. He turned up his nose, though, saying that he didn't want to eat
a "tatami cracker" (since it looked to him like a Japanese tatami mat), which
struck me as an interesting observation. Back when I taught ESL, I used a list
of road signs to create a discussion with some students about what the signs
might mean. One sign, a picture of a footprint over a leaf, was giving them
trouble, but one student came up with a possible meaning: "Don't despise
Canada." The correct answer was "nature walk" but his answer was a lot more
creative.

Hooray! It's St. Valentine Got Bumped Off Day!

Time to take incriminating photos of couples making out in the hall next to my room and demand a hefty sum to destroy the negatives. ;)

(Well, no. I'm a bit too nice to do that. But if I did, I'd probably have a new widescreen TV by the end of the week.)

Happy Konsumerism Day, Everyone.

Hey, that's what he says? Cool! I'm not sure why I'd say "Oooh" to that, but that could have been spliced in from some other part of the conversation.

I passed it on to the list, with credit to you, o'course. :)

Having finished Negsy's commentary: I assume there was no real connection to an old website of mine, but thanks for twice bringing up Sisto!
For those curious, on the Brak Show Sisto was abducted by aliens and apparently then eaten. However, Brak assures us that the aliens worship people who pass gas, and he became the King of the Fart Planet.
In one of the Sisto stories, he claimed to be from "the planet Flatulent." Hmm...
Nah!

KIM! Kimmy Kim Kim Kim! I got the Brak Show DVD, and that weird bone of contention of the GP List--well, it sounds pretty clear to me:

NEGADUCK: (words about teeth)
BRAK: Listen, I'm, umm, I'm singin'.
NEGS: Ooh!

Not exactly earthshattering, but--well, he IS singin' when he says that. So I assume that it was a harder question than Andy expected!

I would've posted that to the GPML, but I don't have the address. For those of you here who don't know what I'm talking about...sorry!

Thanks for the link, the DVDs will be added to my 'must have' list

I think I'll have to pass on volume 2, given that it's Region 2 and my region-free DVD player has issues. That, and the ongoing collapse of the dollar against the Euro would make it quite expensive.

umm, what is 'bried'

Didn't you hear? The Goodies were covered in runny French cheese the whole time!
(That's how my inner Daveykins speledd "brief")

Edited by author 02-12-2005 09:45 PM
dev.nul, I wonder how that got removed from my favourites list?

I must fix that post haste.

Thanks for the link, the DVDs will be added to my 'must have' list, seeing as I cannot make it to the show.

Edit: umm, what is 'bried'

Bried Goodies news, for those interested.

A classic DVK quote to add to your quote files, if you have one ?

Not even I know what's going on my sick freak head.

The thread can be found here

re HHGttG: Gah? Zaphod's missing some body parts! Where's the second head? And the third arm?
Man, they're REALLY pushing Marvin in this. Arthur's the main character and there's no sign of him on the poster.
But squee! Falling whale and pot of petunias!

Yah, we all know his ego plays a huge part in his general inability to improve. if he does concede faults, it's in a rather throwaway manner - 'yeah, I'm working on that' and he lets people correct his grammar (though it's NEVER enough and he keeps making the same mistakes over and over again).
I think it's part ego and part possible-screw-loose-somewhere which prevents him from retaining information and applying it to his own work. Look at his 'Disney pictures' - they look nothing LIKE the original characters. I bet even if you sat him down with an actual picture of Aurora or Tinkerbell and told him to draw her, the linebacker shoulders and iron feet and square crossed-eyes would still be there.

"Beeda Beeda Beeda Buck!"
Bill, you rock. NO ONE makes Twikki jokes anymore, and the world's a poorer place for it. One could forgive HyrdocephMarvin if it were meant as a poke/logical extension at/of the robots various Japanese automakers are developing (that creepy bastard from Honda has learned how to run!)... except that would then assume he was from EARTH! Damn movie dinks.

I'm not an artist, nor do I play one on TV, but the mention of the tools of shading reminds me that we were introduced to such things in High School art class. Mebbe the Nasty Bullies did unspeakable things with Davey's art equipment, and now he can't face anything but a simple 2B pencil without crippling flashbacks.

*munches on a cookie* Wow, sugar can have a calming effect...

I forgot about the psychological reason for Davey continuously sucking, i.e. unaware of his own faults. I gotta keep reminding myself of that, and the fact that I shouldn't expect any improvement from the guy.

But he should still use blending stumps.

Re Davey taking art class - yes, he has. Waaaay back in the last millennium he hadsome of his portfolio on his website. It included life drawings. My first thought was "How did they get mutants to pose nude?"

*spits out cookie crumbs all over the laptop keyboard* That just made my night--er, early morning.

HHGG: Marvin looks like shit!

I think they took his famous 'brain the size of a planet' a little to literally!

Re Davey taking art class - yes, he has. Waaaay back in the last millennium he hadsome of his portfolio on his website. It included life drawings. My first thought was "How did they get mutants to pose nude?"

How the hell does one continually suck after years of manhandling a pencil?
He's blind to his own faults.

I think this hits the nail on the head.
Davey doesn't see any faults in his art, therefore there is no reason to improve.
The excuse he uses everytime someone criticizes him is that he was in a rush. The quality of his art never seems to change however, rushed or not.
Anyway, I think that of he did improve, he would lose the one thing that keeps us comming back.

How the hell does one continually suck after years of manhandling a pencil? I won't take "because he sucks" as an answer, I need valid scientific proof!

I read a sci-fi story about a pregnant woman after a nuclear war. She was terrified of giving birth to a radioactively deformed baby. When she gave birth, she was ecstatic to find out her child was completely normal. She proudly showed her infant to a shocked friend, as she cooed over a head with a triangular armless, legless body. I believe it was titled "Only a Mother."

I think the truth about Davey can be seen in those pics by other, vastly superior artists that he always links to on his Deviant account. He thinks his stuff is as good as theirs, simply because his art is done by himself. Remember the guy who slagged him, the one who drew bad Sonic cartoons? Davey mocked the guy's talent, despite the fact that he was absolutely no worse than Davey's. He's blind to his own faults. It's art only a Daveykins could love.

You need a cookie, Fistlekits ;)

I personally have never used stumps, but I never had much difficulty getting pencils to do what I wanted. Everyone's different.
I'm a cross-hatching person, myself.

Good lord. If Davey had heard of and used stumps for shading, why the hell would he stop using them?! I'm currently working on my own webcomic, and considering that I'm shading with sketching pencils, I have to use the stumps so that the shading is smooth and looks decent. Granted, I do have to use the Diffuse filter in Photoshop to improve it after I've scanned, but if I don't use the stumps beforehand, the whole thing looks like shit.

I bet you anything that the guy is just making up his entire college career for the Net. "I went to art classes in college, and look at my art! IT'S BYOOTEEFULL and perfect in every way! Did I mention that I took ART CLASSES? That should be enough to justify my atrocious drawing style!"

Tcch. I got my Associate's in English. I'm currently working on my BFA in professional acting. I've been drawing since I was a toddler; the only drawing classes I ever took were the required ones in elementary, middle, and high school. I'm fairly decent, but I would probably improve greatly if I took a single art class (I'd really love to get perspective down). And no matter how god-eatingly awful someone is at drawing, they WOULD improve in one way or another after at least one class.

They would improve after years and years of drawing. The guy is a phenomenon! How the hell does one continually suck after years of manhandling a pencil? I won't take "because he sucks" as an answer, I need valid scientific proof! I need proof! I... need... *breaks down sobbing*

Davey:"I'm constantly having to wrestle with the sizes of hands, feet, and even "Happy Regions."

HAPPY REGIONS???!!!

Oh, I'm dying here :D:D:D:D:D:D
They're called GENITALS, David. It's not a dirty word!

Ernst:"...his current present."
Wait a tick. Are we mooting the possibility of several parallel potential-realities, of which only one is available to be experienced at any given time, but which may be moved between by some act of will?
I think that's just in the event that Davey gets sick of the whole Pan thing and just pretends that part of Adam's childhood never happened.
Erch... his grammar looks like it fell into toxic waste and sprouted numerous stunted, rudimentary clauses...

Davey went to art classes in college? I didn't think he even GOT that far! Let alone to an art class. I call total bullshit. I have NEVER heard Davey say 'yes, I HAVE been to figure drawing classes' when anyone has ever asked him, so why he should mention it NOW could only mean that he's totally making it up.

"...his current present."
Wait a tick. Are we mooting the possibility of several parallel potential-realities, of which only one is available to be experienced at any given time, but which may be moved between by some act of will? If we are, I'd like the one where something more than a lot of talking and one costume change occur over months of webcomic output.

Bill, I think the deal with your taxes is that the lower levels of bureaucracy are so badly frightened by those they're working under that they're all moving very slowly so as to not make attention-garnering noise. Sort of like Imperial staff officers not wanting Lord Vader to get too interested in them.

Has anyone else used the IRS Telefile system for their taxes? I got my CT refund in 3 days using theirs, but it's been 11 days and the IRS still hasn't e-transferred my refund.

And there's a loverly bunch of coconuts for Scarlett PCP:
http://www.deviantart.com/view/15011264/
Just look at Jim...Goood...Ji....'s face in panel 2.
AHH-HAHAHAHA!!!! It's like he copied it with Silly Putty!

In Steve's fave subject, someone comments on Davey's shading technique. Anyone wanna bet that he's NEVER heard of "paper stumps and tortillions" before, and is just pretending? He didn't even erase the line over Ji...'s mouth in panel one, suuure he knows about the tortellinies.
He draws like he's using a stump. Of a very dumb tree.

"...his current present."

Well it could have been his raisin present, I know it wasn't his sultana present cause that was yesterday :/
Plus we all know that Daveys grip on reality is tenuous as best.

"...his current present."
As opposed to, what, his present of 2 months ago? His Christmas present? Was he given electricity?

There is a new Livewire on the DVK Devart site.

Hooray, enjoy, the shading and sentence structure is pure genius!

Hey, for me a cheongsam *is* drag. I only wear skirts to work, and then only part of the time. But this was so lovely, I just hadda have it...

Slightly belated, but... xin nian kuai le! Gong xi fa cai! (which is the Mandarin for "Happy New Year! Hope you make lots of money")

"then again I might just get one for this years Madi Gras!"

Why not? Break off the shackles of convention and go nuts. I myself am wearing tight jeans instead of baggy jeans in honor of the occasion. Truly a momentous deed.

Edited by author 02-09-2005 11:36 PM
One was given to me inscribed, "I love Ms Kristine."

Aww, how cute. Being the Father of a 12yr old girl who has just started high-school, I know the aweful truth - they grow up!

my silk cheongsam dress

Gees, if I wasn't a guy I would be running out and getting myself one of these cool sounding dresses, then again I might just get one for this years Madi Gras!

Negs: I missed a perfect opportunity to wear my silk cheongsam dress, didn't I?
Damn, me too! I've only worn mine once before and that was to our studio's 15th anniversary harbour cruise.
It's been waiting to be worn again ever since...

Today in daycare we made paper Chinese lanterns. One was given to me inscribed, "I love Ms Kristine."
(That would be my name.)

Dang. I missed a perfect opportunity to wear my silk cheongsam dress, didn't I?

I was watching a report on the Chinese New Year festivities... on a Spanish-speaking show. (I've started watching it because, well, I just like the festive colors on the set and it's something that I really need to wake up to during these dark winter months.)

I could barely understand what they were saying, but it looked like the reporters were really into it. The ladies even wore gorgeous Chinese dresses and bowed respectively to the guests (who spoke Spanish, of course). They looked over the Chinese zodiac and observed some beautiful Chinese artifacts and decorations.

I didn't watch any American special on the Chinese New Year. But I venture a guess that the main topic was fireworks.

Merry Lunar New Year, fellow inhabitants of the FUTURE! Gung ho fat chow, or whatever the hell the appropriate phrase in any dialect of Chinese is. (...and then he shuffled off to bed to get up at 5am for the job he's not so fond of).

Byron is starting to look like quite the little gentleman, by the way.

Speaking of cats, I got one ad for kitties: Arm and Hammer Cats

There's not much there, but it could evolve into something fun and cool. My cat's a Man's Best Friend Cat, the quiz says!

coincidentally, last night i dreamt i had a tiny black cat. and the dream involved lots of litterboxes.

Kitty pics: My immediate thought was that Killsy was wearing a diaper ;)
She's not THAT old, yet!

*grin* One of the best.

"Boo-piiiiie!"

Edited by author 02-06-2005 09:38 PM
"Lilly von SoKlandinktu!"

BANNER-GRAM! :D

Now that's 2 things in a row I need explained.

edit:
Never mind, got it, Crash of the Moons, MST3K.

"Lilly von SoKlandinktu!"

BANNER-GRAM! :D

Edited by author 02-06-2005 05:22 PM
I know this is from a while ago, Bill, but hell, I'm from a while ago, too (hey, y'all try explaining to your puzzled dad why your cool friend in CT with the cute cats always sends you BIG!Lots giftcards. You start with the Jerry Van stuph, and the discussion sort of peters out from there. [::solemn promise to never EVER use the word "peters" in the same sentence with "Jerry Van" again--doh!::]).

Erm. Anyhoo. I thought of your Byron anecdote in the News from a few weeks ago when the other day when I told Sophie, "Don't be afraid of the cheese! The cheese is your friend!" (The weirdest things spook the kids sometimes.)

And Ernst, thanx for the Canoe link; oh, for the halcyon days when I used to zoom by there every day after I'd checked my mail. I hadn't been to that site in a while, though, and was momentarily amused when I couldn't find Slam!--you damn kids today, with your drop-down menus and your loud rock music!--which made me think, "Wow, just like for me, without hockey all sports have ceased to have ceased to exist for this site!"

El Zefsterino, hope you feel better soon--me write more to you later, but must go home and make art right now (no, not a metaphor--Bill should have something hopefully scan-worthy soon, since at least he loves me enough to put my stuff up at his site ::nagnagnag::).

PS: The 'who I wanted to be when I grow up' comments (disregarding how I've long said I want to be Bill when I grow up, as that implies I WANT to grow up at some point): when I was a Teen Geek, I wanted the impossible, in that I wanted to be Deborah Harry (blonde, beautiful, skinny, tough, not necessarily in that order), and as I recently was told by two wildly disparate people that I reminded them of her, it's nice to see some ambitions--especially those seemingly unattainable ones--can be realized even when you haven't nailed down all of the necessary categories (oh, three guesses).

http://www.aeonflux.com/ is up. There's nothing there yet.

The Future is Flux? What kind of lame slogan is that? They should've hired me to write the slogan: "Support Revisionism. Vote Goodchild." But then they'd worry that the target audience wouldn't know what "revisionism" means.

Found a piece written by John K that made me laugh (in the good way):

"Stimpy's Insatiable Libido: AnnMarie McCarty revealed that when she was pregnant she was super horny all the time and wore out her poor husband.
 
So we had a sequence where Stimpy was just starting to get a glow and was growing swollen milk glands and Ren was bragging to his neighbors-a cockroach and a rat about how hot Stimpy was looking since he had been knocked-up.
 
So Ren drags Stimpy into the bedroom to go to it; he comes out 3 minutes later looking smug, but then Stimpy's hand comes out the door and yanks him back in.
20 times later Ren is exhausted, but still Stimpy is not sated. Stimpy is standing on the dresser decked out in complete bondage-gear while Ren pleads for mercy.
He tries to climb out the window and begs the backyard wild life to pull him out.
Some squirrels and ladybugs stretch out their little hands to help him but Stimpy cracks the whip and knocks Ren back onto the bed screaming. Fade out.
 
Well that scene was cut for 2 reasons:
1) after I read l the gay-bashing posts on Animation Nation and a couple other dimwit sites, I didn't want to inflame more of the homophobic audience out there.
2) We just didn't have the time to do it anyway.
 
Another seqeunce had Stimpy having wild mood swings: One minute he'd be all smiles and happy as an idiot, the next he'd have a huge crying jag and then when Ren tried to calm him, he'd go into a wild rage and beat the crap out of poor Ren.
Ren then takes him to a movie and the mood swings run wild in the movie theatre and the whole audience wants to kill Ren for bringing his pregnant to the movies."

Good news for fellow wierdos. They've started work on a second season of Venture Brothers.

On my latest geek outing, I found http://www.acmefilmworks.com/demo_spot8.html
For those of you who don't know, this guy created Aeon Flux, though I don't think he has anything to do with the live action movie.

Some more http://www.acmefilmworks.com/dir_folders/dirChung/chung.html of his stuff. Who would have thought sitting down and opening a book could have been animated in such an exciting way?

Edited by author 02-05-2005 01:36 PM
Gyaaaaaagh. The Zoot thing is getting icky. Okay, it was icky before, but it didn't really make me go "Ew!" like this one did. This is like, totally creepy or some junk.

A gay man cross-dressing as a female furry in order to seduce straight men. This is like a prequel to "The Furry Horror Picture Show."

Edited by author 02-05-2005 08:32 AM
Reading Mimi's post, I'm struck AGAIN by the parallels between his nibs and Ed Gein/Norman Bates:
- Lives with mother
- Poorly socialized
- Somewhat naieve about da wimmen
- When unmedicated, given to psychotic outbursts
- Fascinated with animal skins
- Ditto, cross-dressing
It's only a matter of time before he whomps an old lady with a shovel in the middle of offering her a sandwich.

And to respond to the purely rhetorical question-- probably heat, and I'll bet her musk glands remain intact. That palatial shabby apartment will be notable for its pong soon....

I personally think that the act of putting on a live animal skin is some strange kink of Davey's... he has been describing this scene for weeks and EVERY detail is shown - you can almost sense his hands sweating as he dscribes the 'goo' inside the suit against Jim's skin, the 'pi pi' needle effect of the nanites invading his pores..the HUGE WIBBLY BOOBIES, and I'm guessing he's going to mess his pants when he FINALLY gets to the brain meld.

Ernst: Somehow I doubt that Davey is that clever to think of that eventuality. Imagine the size of Jim's eye slugs when ..hmm.. do anthromorpic female animals menstruate or just go on heat? >:)

how come we haven't seen any Ferd'nand for a while?

Ferdy still sucks, but he doesn't suck in the correct way. He used to be "WTF?" Now his jokes are so stiffly obvious that he's being fratricided by his own clone.

Bill, a question for you, how come we haven't seen any Ferd'nand for a while?

No one wants to read "Prince Valiant" when it's drawn like "Cathy."
...but those who know the tropes of RPG's laugh their asses off at Order of the Stick.

Any bets that the crazy super-science that engineered Scarlet gave her the ability to process human wastes for energy with 100% efficiency, thus disposing of both awkward "which of us is it that's pooping now?" philosophical moments AND any need for DVK to address a disturbing aspect of real life. Although, to be honest, I can't remember an issue of Action Comics wherein Superman's thwarting of Brainiac is itself thwarted by a dose of Red Kryptonite incontinence. Are we getting picky?

No, wait, he'd prly actually draw that--PUUUKE!


When he can't even draw a nipple? I doubt it, even if he did draw it, he would never post it unless the page was password protected and you had to provide your birth certificate before entry.

Yeah, I missed you on the pace thing, I forgot about nitwits first day(month) of work.

Edited by author 02-05-2005 12:13 AM
Zef, you've seen Spamusement, right? It's proof that your art doesn't have to be "perfect" when there's a good writer behind it. Your "Jesus WWF" drawing really reminds me of it--simple, silly and with an easily recognizable (but unexpected!) joke. You might want to try that path.

It took me 6 months to really accept Dilbert. The jokes were great, but the art was SO bad. Even Davey could make a good comic if he realized his weaknesses and worked around them (although this would involve a better sense of composition and a true sense of humor). Seriously, he actually draws better than "Wlilly WILLY & Ethel." But that strip's funny. Unlike Davey, it doesn't try to be ... well, I was going to say "serious," but I have no clue as to what note Davey thinks he's hitting. Manga, I guess. He could get away with his artistic deficiencies if he had a funny strip. No one wants to read "Prince Valiant" when it's drawn like "Cathy."

(Of course, I'd rather read the strips with the good art AND good writing, like 50-year-old Lil' Abners, Zippy, and that strip drawn by that Aussie girl...I wish could remember her name, but it's as if! I can't...

Zootgina

Ahh-HAHAHAAAAA!
No, wait, he'd prly actually draw that--PUUUKE!

I want more Gont and I want it now!

No, I didn't mean the quantity of the crap, I meant the pace of the crappy plotting. He talks about putting on the suit. Then, a week later, he's putting on the suit. Then, a week later, he's still putting on the suit. Then, a week later...
Riveting excitement it ain't. Say, how's Nitwit's first day at work going, 3 months later?

Gourd forbid he needs to use the bathroom, as we'll get a month's worth of him finding the zipper!

Nah, he will just use his Zootgina.

And yeah, the pace has slowed to that of molasas on a cold winters day. This really sux when you are a Phrack Whore, I want more Gont and I want it now!

BTW, has anyone else noticed the Baka-ization of the strip? It moved very quickly at first, but now we've had how many weeks of him just putting a damn suit on?
Gourd forbid he needs to use the bathroom, as we'll get a month's worth of him finding the zipper!

Re: Gonty, it's the shading that really makes him unique.

Yeah, no shit! When I was a CHILD with a box of Crayolas, I understood that you shaded in a way that gave texture--y'know, turn the shading in the direction of a hairstyle, or to keep it following the direction of clothing, bending it where the clothng bended. Davey's just scribblescribblescribble, okay, it's done, and I'm a ARTISCAL GEENYUS!
And yet he lavishes such close attention on her boobs, bellybutton and (apparent) nutsack.
Eww.

Still don't understand how the "skullcap" can be so powerful that it tames the mighty mullet.

The sight of Jim's pinhead coming out of Scarlet's Anna Nicole-ish body will NEVER cease to slightly creep me out, no matter HOW many times he draws it.

So it's not really a symbiotic thing at all, Scarlet is just a huge furry parasite in search of a host ;)

Edited by author 02-04-2005 05:25 PM
Re: Gonty, it's the shading that really makes him unique.

Edit: Why have all the strips that might mention, or event hint at, nudity been marked "mature". But this strip can show an 'up the skirt' shot and he does not even blink an eye?

Edited by author 02-04-2005 05:21 PM
Zef: And i was feeling all high and mighty with my 4 ones.

If you goto your GMail page and look in the lower left corner you should find that you now have 50 invites :)

Fistlekits: one mouth on each end.

Ewww, yeah I recently saw an old episode where Dog gets a job in a sweatshop and Winslow gets the job of traversing the rather streched CatDog intenstines. so that makes sense but Yuck.
I think Dog wins out here, if you can call excreeting another animals waste out your mouth a win.

Gonty has a new strip.
We finally find out what the skull cap/hair net is for.

Hooray.

I almost forgot about CatDog.

I used to watch this show a lot when it first came on. I was among the rabid fans. I even had a website dedicated to the little mutant. The first season showed a lot of promise. The second season started to dwindle. I don't think I watched any of the third season. By the end of the second season, the show turned into shit.

The writers couldn't decide whether the show was aimed for the Y7 crowd or if they wanted to appeal to young adults with innuendo and raunchy jokes (like the time Cat asked a female cat at a laundromat if she wanted help washing her underwear. And she giggled.). A few characters had changed personalities and there was a subplot where Cat fell in love with Shriek, one of the many characters who made it their life mission to torture CatDog.

Suffice it to say, I lost a lot of interest. I recently watched the "Great CatDog Parent Mystery" special just to see how badly it was executed. To be honest, it was rather good... and touching.

As for the midget: that's Winslow Oddfellow, a rat. He's a freeloading roommate who constantly bullies CatDog.

On a side note, there was a petition to save the show when it was announced that it was going to be cancelled. One fan in particular urged her close circle of CatDog fans and friends to sign it... multiple times using different names.

And if you're wondering how the creature gets it on or uses the bathroom, I'll say this: one mouth on each end. Quite simple, really. (Although I highly doubt that either end has ever got it on.)

What I want to know is how they manage to pay for their house, utilities, and car despite having no job. Government disability checks, I guess.

Sorry for not being present for the kitties, Negaduck's grand appearance on the Brak Show DVD commentary [GontFX]crippling jealousy![/GontFX], Jesus cameos, giving Lav support, and all the other fun stuff that's been going on as of late: my laptop decided to mess up and I need to get the hard drive formatted.

*twenty minutes of agonized wailing and chair smashing ensue. The other university library patrons flee the premises*

*gasp* Holy crap, that felt good.

You know what's more boggling than John K? John K's fans. I remember going to one website (it's long gone, unfortunately) where the webmaster practically worshipped John K as a genius GOD. He constantly berated Nick for cancelling the show and basically tried to make John K look like some helpless victim.

I admire some people who push the envelope, but at times it seems that the guy is just out to shock and anger people... and is surprised when he actually succeeds and his show is booted off.

The new R&S is nothing like the old one. It's like he trying too hard to offend and shock. But that's just me

He honestly believes he is the greatest artist who has ever lived ever.

Kinda like You-Know-Who, except John K's (earlier) work was enjoyable and he's a professional. Albeit a professional who's failed a few times, but still...

Johk K's viewpoint is a bit skewed, yeah. I really like a lot of his work - even The Ripping Friends - but I agree that he can be rather out there. For one thing, he seems to be determined to tick off the censors no matter where he is. If Hustler had a network, he'd come up with something they wouldn't show. Also, the man has no business sense whatsoever. If he could just see the other guy's viewpoint - "The other guy" being the guy at the network who pays him to make cartoons - and produce works that they could use and keep to a schedule, I'm sure he'd be a huge success instead of leaving a string of hits and misses behind himself.

I was at a panel he did in San Diego some years back. The title of the panel is "What is Spumco Doing Now?" The answer: precious little. He narrated an uncolored, unlettered story from "Comic Book" (and delighted in a certain visual double-entendre) and showed a few fifteen-second clips from station identifications that I don't think were ever broadcast. The highlight was when he acted out the story of "Nutty, The Happy Dump." He dropped his pants (keeping his tighty whities on, thankfully) when he was acting as Jimmy on the potty, then dragged someone out of the audience to be Jimmy so he could do George's part. It was insanely brilliant. Or vice versa.

"Not like in a WWF smackdown. I meant that in the historic, Biblically-corect [way]"

Oh, great Bill. should've said it before i went and did THIS. Though now thanks to Ernst's link it seems fitting. (sorry to all monkeys for comparing them to Bush)

Google have just given me 50 invites to hand out for GMail accounts.

And i was feeling all high and mighty with my 4 ones. would you believe there's people putting their invites to bid on ebay? and, of course, no one bids on them.

Much as I like R&S and that one Yogi Bear cartoon (though not the Ripping Friends) John K is insane. INSANE. Not the cute kind of insane either. The really annoying kind of insane. He honestly believes he is the greatest artist who has ever lived ever.

Oh yeah, and my screenplay is based on this:
http://www.post-gazette.com/regionstate/20010204gradunion4.asp
Except the heroines are all neurotic and antisocial and have low self-esteem and are not very good at mobilizing people. It's a comedy-drama. Does that sound like something you'd want to see?

Thanks for the advice, all. One will do one's best.

Edited by author 02-04-2005 11:46 AM
My brother just sent me proof-positive that El Presidente is a MINION OF THE DEVIL! "U of Texas salute" my ass! Just watch, he'll start spelling his name the traditional way soon: Bu'ush!

Ren: "*I'm* the pitcher, *you're* the catcher!"
Ernst: (From kitchen) ...the hell did I just hear?
Ernst's lovely wife: (near helpless with mirth) HOLY CRAP!

...and then the show vanished again. I love his stuff, but that Kricfalusi character has got to figure out how to pace his work efforts (and hold onto his copyrights). Stupid Canadian!

> 31. What did you want to be when you were little? Probably not me!

Oh, crap. That's a little too accurate. Now I am swollen with depression!

Re Ren & Stimpy - Ren would have to have been the top, since Stimpy's the one who got pregnant.

Re the commentary, I was a bit nervous. But I know the people, so it wasn't being around them that did it. I just had mike fright. But I got over it pretty quickly, because Andy was in character and as Brak he's loads of fun to talk with.

Google have just given me 50 invites to hand out for GMail accounts.
If anyone wants one then please email, steve-online at optusnet.com.au and I will send you one, no strings attached.

Edited by author 02-04-2005 12:26 AM
Zef, I'm going with LaGrey: that was a brilliant observation. (A little tweaking of the English would make it more memorable, but I bet that it was more beautiful in the original Spanish anyway).

Funny thing--I'm pretty much an athiest (as in: if Jesus returned, I'd say "I was SO wrong! And that is SO COOL!"), but y'know, that Jesus dude--he was right about everything. Too bad the people who claim squatter's rights on his trademark really don't believe in anything he ever said. Those people are all hate and prejudice. If the Big J ever did return he'd totally lay the smackdown on Dubya and his greedy, violent mob of hypocrites.

edit: Not like in a WWF smackdown. I meant that in the historic, Biblically-corect "You moneylenders get your asses OUT this temple, FOOLS! Lookin' atCHU, Cheney! Don't make me GIVE you a heart atack, fat boy!" way.

Edited by author 02-03-2005 11:15 PM
I'm very tired. I have to turn in the first seven pages of a screenplay in a few days and I don't have any good ideas.

I have never written anything since school, so take this with a grain of salt.

Whenever I am trying to do something creative, like writting code, and my brain locks up, I do like Bill. Take a walk, or do something else similar. I think the point is to do something that does not involve thinking. Take a break for 30 minutes, play with a cat. Skip rocks across a river, anything to give the grey matter a rest.

As I said above, I do not write things that other people read, so I do not know exactly what you are going through, but this works for me when my thoughts decide to get constipated.

Cheers ;)

Edit: PS thanks for the link, living down-under we do not get to see all of the things the US produces. I had to *cough*bittorrent*cough* the Drawn Together episodes, I doubt we will be seeing that on our screens for a few years.

*Hugs for Lav.* Good luckies. and it's not eloquent, it's semi-angry.

SteveM:
I was trying to be funny, but I don't think it worked. I'm very tired. I have to turn in the first seven pages of a screenplay in a few days and I don't have any good ideas. Plenty of bad ideas, but no good ones. My brain is hurting. I wish I could think up something as eloquent as Zef's comment, "it's funky how people become so faithful and such with crazy marks on whatever, and never see the face of the Jesus we're supposed to love on the old homeless people asking for a few coins everywhere in the city."

Oh, and definitely Ren:
http://www.tvtome.com/tvtome/servlet/ShowM...dult_Party_Cartoon/

Lav:

The 'Queer Eye' kind, the 'Happy and Joyous' kind or the DaveyKins kind of gay??

I assumed you meant the Queer Eye kind of gay, I agree, I would love to see sexualu explicit Ren and Stimpy episode. Some of the close-up shots would be awesome, as it is I love the furballs close-ups and other zoom in shoots of grossness they do.

Who do you think would be on top, Ren or Stimpy?

SteveM:
Heh, I didn't mean the "Dude, you kissed a girl, that is so gay" kind. I meant the other kind.

Hey, lay off the holy magical supah-funky godly eeemages. Once a virgin mary 'appeared' in the floor in a subway station. they had to tear the chunk of floor away and frame it on the wall away so people wouldn't clog that part of the station. they defined it as 'erosion-made mark that bears a resemblance to the virgin mary'.

As seemingly the only loosely catholic here, the only thing i can say is that it's funky how people become so faithful and such with crazy marks on whatever, and never see the face of the Jesus we're supposed to love on the old homeless people asking for a few coins everywhere in the city.

CatDog, how the hell does that thing 'Get It On'?
Forget getting it on, HOW THE HELL GOES IT 'GO POTTY'?

Edited by author 02-03-2005 07:13 PM
Ahh, I forgot how gullible and stupid the average ebay user is. I think I might just go and hack up a shroud or two myself then.

Go Negaduck! Hopefully one day I will hear you piece of fame.

Ren and Stimpy are so TEH GAY!!!1!!!
The one that concerns me is CatDog, how the hell does that thing 'Get It On'? and what is with that little midget guy?

Edit Here - Hear, yep sometimes my speelink just suxors.

Out of curiosity, was there ever a cisis du jour about the alleged sexuality of Ren and Stimpy? Cause I just got the DVD set, and holy shit were these guys gay.

Negaduck: Gaaaaaah, that sounds so cool. If it were me, I would have been frozen and silent in fangirl nervous terror.

Re: the face of Our Lord,
One of those looks like Trumpy the Alien from the episode "Pod People" of MST3K.

I've got the entire last supper in the wood grain of the bathroom door, but I'm not letting the world at large know-- their holy messages regarding the impending Saucerian attack on the secret UN anti-Godzilla volcano base are for me and me ALONE!

But because you're friends, I'll share a picture of the glorious miracle with you. Now, off to make arrangements to marry the cats to the neighbour's toaster.

Yay, I'm all famous and stuff! Maybe someone'll fly me out to San Diego for the comic con this year! Ha ha, I made a funny!

Heh. I was floored when Pete Smith asked me to do something for the DVD. At first I was thinking they wanted fan art, but when I found out they wanted commentary - wow! Hell yeah I'll take a day off work for that! It was fun, sitting there and pretending Andy is Brak. He kept in character, so it wasn't hard at all to do.

OK, I see the frying pan, I see the scratches, but I don't see no Jesus!

WAH-CHOO!!!!
gasp...gasp...I've been blowing my nose onto printer paper for hours now, and I all I've come up with has been Jesus, but he's Jesus Gonzales, who works at the gas station.
Let's try again...WAAAH-CHOO!
IT'S JESUS! He's all crown-of-thorny and cross a-bearing and--wait, he's giving me the finger. That would SO lower his eBay resell!
WAAH-CHOO!
YEAH! I mean "Amen!" This time I got The Father, The Son, and The Friendly Ghost! This'll sell for millions! I'll be holy and rich and--wait! FRIENDLY Ghost?! I sneezed up CASPER!
What am I gonna do? I'm running out of snot!

Edited by author 02-03-2005 01:34 AM
From the News - Jesus in a Frying Pan;

OK, I see the frying pan, I see the scratches, but I don't see no Jesus!

What a ripoff, I must not be holy enough or something.
Hmmm, maybe it was those mushrooms he picked out back that morning?

Edit: Bloody extra word, where did it come from?

"It is sad when a society longs for normal minded sexual beings"

Yeah. I wrote that after recieving one too many horrifying spams. I think the smut that broke the camel's back was MONSTER DICKS ATTACK TINY CUNTS! Ugh.

Negaduck is famous! She did a commentary track on the new Brak Show DVD!
Let's all suck up to her, so that her fame may rub off upon us!

(PS: Knew her before YOU did! I get RUB-OFF FAME DIBS!!)

I'm amazed they're touring at all at their age, let along to AUSTRALIA. I guess Australia contains probably the biggest Goodies fanbase after England.
Some things never change... Australia being rather far away is one of them.

I second you on the gleeful brainwobble, Erst. Kittens do that to me, too :)

I suspect those evacuation messages are just a foolish overreaction to the Vogon constructor fleet. ;-) Actually, it's probably the DeptHomelSec's version of ring'n'run, to be played on states that voted just a little too non-Bush as often as possible over the next four years.

Poptart Kitten makes large chunks of my brain wobble with glee. News that The Goodies are still functional likewise.

"Which Goodie Are You?"

Well, I am a dork as well, so at least 50% Graeme, but I have always wanted to wack someone with a black pudding so I suppose thats 50% Bill. 0% Tim does not bother me too much.

Ecky Thump!

PS: We just had the most wicked storm here! Hail the size of golf balls and horizontal wind. It looked like it dropped about 100mm of rain in half an hour, the whole place flooded, well not the house but the streets, the back yard. Scary stuff.

Oh oh oh oh. Now I remember.
If there was a "Which Goodie Are You?" test (and there probably is; I haven't looked), I'd like to think that I'd score as 60% Graeme, 20% Tim, and 20% Bill. Although my Tim ratio would probably be higher and my Bill lower, as I'm a dork.
And you?

SORRY! Guess I will just keep my mouth shut from now on!

OH NO THERE'S THE EMERGENCY BROADCAST SIGNAL AGAIN! No shit really, just now!!

(waits)

Okay...I guess we're not evacuating. Or, not NOT evacuating again. Maybe they were just checking it out.

Now I have UTTERLY and COMPLETELY forgotten why I was posting here. As it wasn't about that.
Stupid evacuation alerts!

The Goodies Tour OZ

You utter, utter, utter Bastard!

They would have to tour the week I am in hospital, bugger!

O_O
AAAAARGH, that's RIGHT when we'll be moving!
If it was only a month or even 2 weeks later, I would SO be there! *sniff*...gonna miss seeing Bill sing live.
But still... I didn't know a new DVD set was coming out. Yayness! :)
When I get back and get all my tapes unloaded, I'm probably going to start dumping them to DVD. The poor things are very worn out and it's just not known if the Beeb are going to release them all.

Maybe I should just keep my mouth shut, as Steve's bedridden and Mimi's still in the US--but then, I can't go either!

http://www.goodiesruleok.com/faq.php?topic=5#faq32

by not watching TV you are running some risks... like missing out on error EVACUATION ORDERS FOR CT!!

You're right. The ran the alert over the radio, but it had no info beyond those annoying Emergency Broadcast System noises. I thought that was odd, and then shortly after they said that on TV, the state was told to be evacuated.
Evacuated to where? And I wonder why we'd ever need to abandon an entire state. Surely, if the threat was that big, Gamera would protect us.

Bill! i think that by not watching TV you are running some risks... like missing out on error EVACUATION ORDERS FOR CT!!

The fetish will be: Non-Psychotic People Having Non-Painful Sex.

AWESOME! I've always had the idea to draw smut about that.

It is sad when a society longs for normal minded sexual beings

I'm going to start a sexual fetish site. The fetish will be: Non-Psychotic People Having Non-Painful Sex.

That is all.

The sunglasses thing is probably from the mention of breasts. "Ogle without being noticed! Every boy's dream!"

Looks like the Bushler Youth is making some headway down there. For some reason, I keep remembering H.Beam Piper's "Space Vikings", and it's constant theme of civilization sowing the seeds of it's own slide into barbarism.

Edited by author 02-01-2005 01:58 AM
And following the Ozzy ads are the "Improve Your Memory" ones.

Woulda been more ironic if they were along the lines of "Improve Your Speech."

EDIT: Just saw one that said "Why Loose Your Memory?"

I don't have a quip for that one.

Google ads:

Ozzy Osborne sun glasses.

WTF, where did that come from ??? Must have been the mention of opiates ;)

Nyagh. I hope all goes well, Steve. We'll beam happy, pleasant, non-Gonterman thoughts in your direction!

I imagine Gontling would differ, in as much as the pain his character is in reflects his own pain resulting from the harsh treatment he got from nasty bullies, and there's NOTHING worse than that.

I ain't him, though. I frankly don't want to try to imagine what you're about to endure. Bon chance, and three cheers for opiates!

Speaking of spines, nice segue there, I found out today that I get my back fusion on the 4th of March. Hooray, pain - pain and more pain, morphine, MMMMMM and then lots of physio. I know how Jim feels with those basket balls on his chest :)

Was i the only one who noticed that the spouted breasts are bigger than Jim's head?

Dang, he'll need a second spine put in.

Was i the only one who noticed that the spouted breasts are bigger than Jim's head?

Why is Jim God,heblows! in agony? Are the "giggling" boobies drawing their new extra mass from his bone marrow or something?

And again--hairnet, WTF? Leaving aside the question of if he just happened to have one lying around the harrible house (that must be a thing TEH GAYS like to wrear), how does the big fat head interface with his mind? It has to get squishy pi-pi-pi with the rest of him, why not his eensy brain?

Steve:[gontFX]CHEEK SLUGS![/gontFX]

Thank you so much, Steve... my monitor is now sporting a lovely glaze of Australian chardonnay.

[gontFX]EMBARRESED BLUSH![/gontFX]

No, no, no, that sholuld have been as follows;

[gontFX]CHEEK SLUGS![/gontFX]

It also looks like the purse-snatcher is shooting O.B. brand bullets at them.

Well, I know it's the best beer brand in Korea, but I had no idea they were into munitions. Oh, wait... you weren't talking about THAT OB. [gontFX]EMBARRESED BLUSH![/gontFX]

Edited by author 01-29-2005 11:14 PM
PS: Link is actually this.

Oops, I thought I messed something up.

EDIT: Yep, I was Googling Darger myself just a few minutes ago. Pretty surreal stuff.

Just in case anyone wonders who Darger was:
http://www.acer-access.com/~darger@acer-access.com/intro.htm

That GAFF thread Mimi posted is worth the read. Best part is from our own favorite As If!er:

On the plus side, at least this time the character [Scarlett's Jim Goodlow] isn't a clone of Gonterman!

Oh, I dunno... let's see:
Mullet - check
Mentions character's 'hook' every chance he gets - check (for someone who claims that Jim is more than 'his gayness', it sure gets mentioned or alluded to an awful lot!)
Finds symbiotic fursuit attractive - check
Fighting THE STINKIN' MAN - check
No idea how real world works - check (Jim lives in an alleyway shack at $100 a month, because he's unemployed... and it has furniture and a flat-screen TV. There are shallow ditches in Calcutta that charge more rent than that)
Character contains David's own philosophies and obnoxious personality - check. See above posts on Jim's OMH!GAYNESS

Sounds like your typical Gonterman-clone to me :)

It also looks like the purse-snatcher is shooting O.B. brand bullets at them.

That's one of the more problematic panels of recent Gonterdom. What is it that Jamie thinks she sees? I settled on "sperm in a condom" rather than "flying tampon," partly because he refers to the "vapor stream" and not the entire package. And because of the Henry Darger-like aspects of Davey's sheltered existence (Darger, in his freaky midcentury opus "In the Realm of the Unreal," gave his little girl protagonists tiny penises. The theory is that he'd never actually seen a woman naked, and thus had no reason to believe that they weren't equipped with his own standard equipment). But I guess, living with mama all his life, Davey would know about feminine hygiene, even if most of the information on women he gets is from manga and cosplay.

On the other, it doesn't look like sperm. Or a tampon, or any other damn thing. This will remain one of the core mysteries of the Art of Gonterman. Expect many doctoral theses to be written on this one panel, when he achieves the fame he knows he deserves, and that permanent installation of his work at teh Googie!!!1

PS: Link is actually this.

I went traipsing through the GAFF forums--looking for Gonterman mentions, of course--when I was led to the Gonterman Kicks Ass site.

I'm currently reading the quips for the Planeswalker comic and was "enthralled" to find page 24...

In the second and last panel, it seems like Davey's slightly criticizing his own work. It also looks like the purse-snatcher is shooting O.B. brand bullets at them.

From a request on the previous page from bill:
Here's the GAFF thread. It starts off discussing Lost Boy Found, but it segues into Scarlet PI and bits of Livewire....

Ernst: Speak for yourself, but I'd STILL love to actually encounter him at a convention. Ooooh, the ways I could mess with his head... >:)

SteveM: Holy crap! This has some stuff that the Gonterman Shrine never got a hold of!

There are some stuff here that I had never heard of!

I've looked through most of the files, and it seems that the majority of these were written by his friends at the time.

But check out the "Starfire" story. "Edits by David Gonterman"?

OK, there's clearly something wrong with my brain-- the "WAUGH" strikes me as the most competent thing of his I've seen, almost completely lacking his signature sucky points.

I wonder why Scarlet is so enamored of the likelihood of becoming rapidly pendulous? A sentient fox-suit/gay cop symbiont in a massively reinforced support bra is going to look ridiculous. More than otherwise, I mean.

Stalking or not, calling his nibs would be a mistake. Filtered by the internet as he is, his details are sketched in by our all-too vivid imaginations and he achieves a semi-mythical status. To actually hear his voice would make him human, and might actively engage our sympathy-- even if he sounds like Professor Frink's geekier nephew.

I was hunting the net for some GonterGoodness, when I came across this archive.
I don't think I have seen some if this stuff, I was specifically looking for "Haunted Fantasies", found it!

Edited by author 01-29-2005 01:08 AM
anyone care to try and explain this?

The world made sense before I looked at that main page.

Aw, geez! Lookit that grey shading! He's not even TRYING anymore, is he?

EDIT: WAUGH!!

Must stab brain with pencil... must purge brain of image...

Edited by author 01-29-2005 12:21 AM
I could just go and have BBC ASK him ;) She could start a thread talking happily about families or something

...Or talk about the older sibling who's living on their own in a squalid apartment, and wants tips about living cheaply. Or how BBC wants to move out at 18, and is wondering about how much apartments cost.

Somebody with guts and free long distance could just call, ask "Is David there?" and then, after the question's answer, either hang up or pretend to be a telemarketer (as everyone hangs up on them).

edit: "Call Davey" was just a joke. THAT would be stalking. That is not the Team PW way.
Very interesting, of course, but still stalking.

Oh pshaw, we are not stalking.... we're just trying to find out if he lives alone or with family. The answer to this query could totally change our perception of him!
He lives in an apartment, we know that. I can't find a listing for a Diane Gonterman at all on the same site... so that means either she might be totally unlisted(avoiding her son? ;))
Maybe he has a housemate? I cannot imagine how ANYONE could afford to live alone on a McDonald's wage...

Besides, if we were REALLY stalking, we'd be calling his readily-available phone number with hilarity ensuing....;)
Back to work, Phrack Whores!

Mind you... I could just go and have BBC ASK him ;) She could start a thread talking happily about families or something ;)

Edited by author 01-29-2005 12:05 AM
On Mimi's link:
"Searching for David D Gonterman? Find it at Mamma.com"
Heh. That's the POINT.
Crimeny, we're stalking Davey! WHAT HAS BECOME OF US?!?!
Oh yeah. We're Team Phrack Whore. Forgot.

edit: BTW, anyone care to try and explain this? (Note: will look all messed up in anything Netscape-based)
(Wait, it's Davey art, and will look all messed up to anyone not clinically insane)

Edited by author 01-28-2005 11:49 PM
Bill, our ways of simultaneously passing time are uncanny.
Pontoon Beach, according to my Illinois-native husband, is just a suburb of Granite City, on the Illinois side of St Louis. So he's just ABOUT in St Louis, he's just not in MO.

I turned up 4 Gontermans in that area but AHA! - if you click on Daveykins' name (the first result), it turns up a connection to a 59-year old Diane Gonterman, also of Granite City, IL.
I think we've found mom!

Incidentally, I've entered Davey in several White pages sites and if he's found, it's usually with an unlisted address.... huh.

More sleuthing to follow, because I'm bored.

Edited by author 01-28-2005 11:49 PM
Okay, I tried that Gonterseach and it only turns up him, in the strangely named city of Pontoon Beach. Although there a lot of Gontermans in Illinois, and...wait, I thought he lived in St Louis, Missouri. Why does he call it "Foxfire of St Louis" if he doesn't live there? How can he be living on his own, when he says he works 2 shifts a week at McDonald's and thinks apartments go for $25 a week?
(...)
Totally baffled here. The mystery deepens.

edit: Tried St Louis, got Sherill Gonterman, twice. His mother?
???
Well, I give up.

Mimi: GAFF link, please.

Bill, you just beat me to it. I just posted the same link to the Gonterman thread on GAFF....
Christ man, leave your poor, long-suffering mother out of this!!
Oh god, that's warped...

wow, that is some serious absence-of-chin in the first frame.

Well, Gonter-incarnation would carry his mother's genes and with the whole "bonding" thing that he and Scarlet are doing... well, you figure it out.

It's still disturbing...

Edited by author 01-28-2005 11:09 PM
OH BLOODY FUCK!!!
http://www.deviantart.com/view/14600259/
REALLY horrible thing I never wanted to know about Davey's psyche: "What kind of mother did you have, Jim?"
(edit: Sorry, the quote's actually "did you had," silly me)
I have NO IDEA what that means, but in this context it's just FUCKED UP. Especially as there's no evidence that he's ever moved out of mommy's house.
(Hmm...Has anyone tried matching Foxfire Studio's address with the addresses of anyone else named "Gonterman" in St Louis? That would settle the "he's always lived at home" question for good)
Nice Daveyish SFX, though.

Edited by author 01-28-2005 03:54 PM
Fistlekits: Yes, I did get to spend lots of time with my lovely fuzzy fat kitty and my fuzzy fat guinea pig, luckily.
I like the web-cam idea too, but I couldn't afford to pay for it. ;_;


edit: NO BLOOD FOR KIMCHI! Except really good handmade extra-spicy kimchi. Mmmm, kimchi. ^^

Fal-chan: I miss my cat, too. I hope you got to spend lots of time with your fuzzies before going back; I read to mine just about every night while I was home for winter break.

I'm only two hours away, but it'll be a while until I'll get to see her again, as I'm devoting nights and Saturdays to my Stage Scenery class (we're building a set for a play). I've been thinking lately about sending a shirt I'd slept in for a few days back home, so Pepper will have a bit of comfort.

Ernst: On the subject of unwise ownership of nuclear devices...

For the last time, it's nucular! I swear, you and your ability to spell...

Zef: The petting-kitties-webcam idea sounds fantastic! In fact, I think I read about that in one of Dave Barry's books... or was it in Bill's archives? I can't remember exactly where I read about it, but I can remember that the guy had also set up a mechanical hand to pet the cats when someone clicked on a button on his site. The cats weren't at all interested in the device, but he was overjoyed when someone activated it.

Pet the fuzzies for me, I miss mine. ;_;

After a night of Binge Xboxing and just 3 hours of sleep, after reading this i got an idea. Bill could get a webcam and aim it at the kitties. then he could set up a paypal account and charge for 'virtual petting sessions'. the customer would decide via IM if to scratch behind the ears, or chin, or whatever in feasible and kitty-comfy limits. there could also be a girl doing the pettings so female customers (or perv male ones) would feel better. asthmathic/allergic cat lovers would love it! also the people who somehow cannot own a kitty.

Is that [Ramen] the distinguishing mark of the graduate student?

I think it's stereotypical, isn't it? I can't wait to live on my own while going to uni and get my cookin' on. or more likely, be all lazy and survive on ramen.

Wasn't north korea part of the axis of supreme evil?

I don't love ramen, not the instant kind, anyway.

Wise. Between the pre-cooking in coconut oil, and occasional dustings of pesticides to keep warehouse vermin off 'em, they're not the sort of thing one should view as a staple.
"Funny thing about Bob. Skinny as a rail, but he dies of clogged arteries, AND in the week it took to find the body in that slummy apartment, the rats never touched him."

On the subject of unwise ownership of nuclear devices (only alarmists call them ARMAGEDDON BOMBS!!!)-- given the way El Presidente is eyeballin' Iran these days, I was speculating to my wife just yesterday on the amount of fun Kimmy of the North could have with a public announcment that he's not only got plenty of nukes, but he's given a half-dozen to Iran for no reason other than he likes the cut of their jib.

Fabulous, I'll send some over.

I don't love ramen, not the instant kind, anyway. Is that the distinguishing mark of the graduate student? Killsy should come hang out with me, she can get a PhD in Chinese literature or something. Good stuff, good stuff. Pet the fuzzies for me, I miss mine. ;_;

Mr Toes is a great noodle fan. He'd be the ideal college student--he loves ramen. And running around like a loonie, all hopped up on the catnip.
Of course, he'd flunk out and Killsy would graduate with a PhD.

Cheese may not spontaneously generate, but I think noodles do. I keep finding them on my floor. Would Mr. Toes like?

Hey, Bill, just a quick thanky-thanx for the way keen gifty-arrivalness today--it made it from CT to CA in four days, which I think may constitute a record for us in the collective delusion known as, "Priority Mail."

{{Muchos cat-hugs from the girls ā l'avance, as they'll be the recipients of your BIG!Lots largesse later tonight--and ditto those sentiments para El Zefsterino, con mucha esperanza que esta semana is trending toward improvement}}

Sorry, back to the Gontyness and giant rhino transports, all...

I'm tossing my vote in for an editor.
Where Davey writes 'To be Continued', there is a comment by 'Zep' after it. I'm assuming Zep is the editor in question here.

The site seems pretty extensive and authoritative about the game, so maybe they have a rule that all blog entries WILL be edited to conceal the fact that most of the casual players are illiterate losers ;)

An excellent and most jabby point! That leaves the ugly prospect of a ghost-writer for really stupid stuff.

Thanks a heap for the link on the News to the mad Dutchman, by the way. I don't know if anyone else was having trouble with the video on the Wired site, but his own site has some pretty amazing movies, especially the really big one.

An excellent and most jabby point! That leaves the ugly prospect of a ghost-writer for really stupid stuff.

Thanks a heap for the link on the News to the mad Dutchman, by the way. I don't know if anyone else was having trouble with the video on the Wired site, but his own site has some pretty amazing movies, especially the really big one.

I'd be willing to accept that the article is all his work, if there were some evidence available that he'd done NOTHING but labour on it for a full month.

Nope. I have my problems with grammar at times (usually late at night and posting here), but in the generally, it's {GRAMMAR} a thing that you learn from reading. And there's no evidence that Davey reads anything but M:TG novellas and Sonic comics. You don't learn the grammar by the labor of months, you know it all ready when you are going in to writing.

I'm one of those online cartoonists who's success depends on what day of the week it is.

"If it's a day ending in 'y', I usually expect to have... creative hurdles, and days with a 'd' in them I spend a lot of time putting ointment on Mother, so it's a little hard to run the spellchecker."

I'd be willing to accept that the article is all his work, if there were some evidence available that he'd done NOTHING but labour on it for a full month.

What struck me is that there's hardly a single grammar glitch and almost perfect spelling. Geeky subject matter aside, he sounds almost...NORMAL(or the blogger has automatic spellcheck).

But it'd also need an automatic grammar check. Certainly, that article saw the hands of an editor. Who prly went through 4 blue pencils reading it.

That should have been called Testecules

I respond with a less political and more timeless Hercules. It's funny BECAUSE it's offensive.

Hercubush defeats the Evil Ragheadians, HA HA, good one!

Gyyyyeeeaaaaghh... just when I thought I'd purged my mind of all things base and Gonter-vile. *shakes herself* Yeeagh!

On a completely unrelated note, as anyone ever seen a short called "Hercubush"? Highly recommended, even for a brief chuckle.

Oh, by the way, Johnny just popped Sue's cherry over in Davey's restricted Hawt Furry Sexs forum. It was only two sentences and therefore not worth quoting.
It was so hot, Johnny blinked. ;p

Like SteveM, I had to quit. Davey's bad, but at least he's somewhat enjoyable (in a talentless, boggling sort of way).

I hope these other folks aren't considering a career in making comics. Because they'll be shot down quicker than [insert witty analogy here].

Edited by author 01-26-2005 09:30 AM
Steve: Has anyone else read Davey's MTGO waffle blog
Is it on Foxfire or somewhere else? If somewhere else, link please?

Edit: Never mind, found it! It's on Foxfire.

I read his MTG blog here
Huh. What struck me is that there's hardly a single grammar glitch and almost perfect spelling. Geeky subject matter aside, he sounds almost...NORMAL(or the blogger has automatic spellcheck). Maybe he's like those stutterers who are hopeless in normal life, but they step on a stage and turn into Gielgud.
Wouldn't it be insane if his whole schlub-Davey schtick was just an act all these years?

But omg, the geekiness... I need to shower....

Am I alone in having one little comics site that I read because and only because it nonstop REALLY REALLY SUCKS?

Well I tried to follow it for a week or two, but it was so awful I gave up.
At least you can laugh at DVK.

Speaking of web comics, belated congrats to Mimi for 'Pop Star', Awesome, also belated condolences for 'The Book'. Hope someone else picks it up and runs with it.

Has anyone else read Davey's MTGO waffle blog, I admit that I could not understand half of what he wrote, but I know nothing of the game.

Just so ya know (as I'm the only one masochistic enough to actually look at Davey's current publishers, The Flakes): Yes, he posted it with "becomming" and "tail's feels attacked" intact. Also, that incredibly bad "shading" (aka "random scribbles") on Jimmy's legs. Davey don't see nuthin' wrong with anything he's ever done!
No wonder he identifies with Bush.

No one else follows The Flakes? "Rainy Day Man" can't draw worth shit, but he at least understands the idea of "punchline." Everyone else--WHOA, they're not good! They're AWFUL. Ferd'nand could give them joke-telling lessons! Am I alone in having one little comics site that I read because and only because it nonstop REALLY REALLY SUCKS?

I paused and wondered why the constant inclusion of mulletted right-wing midwesterners with robot girl fuckbots with fox tails doesn't seem the slightest bit deranged to me anymore.

Billy me boy, that's because you're a gentleman and a fine judge of...oh, shit, I already used that line. Never mind. C'mon, you know you rule.

Apropos of nada, I don't blush, EVER. I tend to blame this on having a somewhat olive complexion, rather than possessing no innate sense of shame. (Trust me, my forthcoming LJ entry will document entirely too well exactly how much shame I truly possess--is one truly culpable for one's somnolent transgressions, though? Say it ain't so...!)

BTW, not only am I *way* down wit'da Magic Cat Wishes (though to be cynical, of course they want you to return safely! Sure, they may love you to bits, but more importantly, you gots da mad Can Opener Skilz!), but my classmates Agustina nearly laughed herself into a coma over Cat Town. Muchee thankees.

Today's ads, here in the NoCal vicinity (or on this monitor, anyway) are, "Take Surveys, Get Paid!" "Free List of Paid Surveys!" & "Don't Pay That Survey Site!" Erm...exactly what do the gods of internet snooping know about my poverty-stricken state? And how must I KILL THEM before they learn any more?

PS: Can't remember, no time to check, but some major hella props (btw, "hella" is a Cali term, Bill, not a Mr. T thing--I cite No Doubt as my referent here--hey, 'n maybe that way I'll get different ads next time!)--anyway, young Zef completely rules, and sends way-kewl cosas de Mexico, incl. musica I can't friggin' find even here in bilingual Cali-town. I highly advise cultivating his friendship so y'all can benefit from his largesse as Bill and I have. (Hey, though, where was *my* chili-flavored candy, huh? O, I feel so deprived... ;)

I tend to think my style is some strange bastard offspring of Disney and shoujo(girl's) manga. ;p

But very delighted you all like :)

"Pop Star" was great. I liked the phoney-baloney story line, and I really like your art. As I've said before, it shows definite anime influence, but it's your own and not a slavish imitation. It's distinctive, and very appealing to the eye. In short: good stuff.

I'm sorry to hear about the "As If!" comic falling through. Aw crap, I wanted that one. I hope someone else can get it out on the stands.

I envy people who've got perspective down so well
You 'n' me both, Fistlekits ;)
I'm a serial fudger when it comes to perspective. A real layout artist would probably be on the floor laughing at my perspective.

Thanx everyone :). I had fun doing it.

Caww, Mimi, you've done it once again! Superb artwork; I envy people who've got perspective down so well (and who can make their own awesomely awesome patterns in Photoshop). *jealous*

I join the chorus of admiration for Mimi's talent! I'm always in awe of people who can conjure pictures from the aether (even my brother, and his ain't so purty).

I suppose it'll never see the light of day again, since Adam's no longer the Keymaster,
Well, I guess Peter Venkman will rest easier with that competition for Dana's attention gone.

Mimi-sama! I love the manga! It was adorable! I love your drawing style..... <3 <3

Okay, I'll stop being a fangirl. Seriously, though, you really have a great style. It's very original. And the plot was adorable. Siiiigh... I'm such a shoujo fan. It's awful.

the ads became "Increase Your IQ." Hey, we didn't say we LIKED him!

I get ads for 'END PROCRASTINATION NOW!'. i guess it's a subtle prod.

And in the other end of the spectrum, Awesome, Mimi!

*shrug*, okay Bill, if you feel it must be shared ;)
This is a 16-page manga I just finished for submission to Tokyopop. I didn't write it, I just done the pritty pictures...
Pop Star!

It's very fluffy.

Edited by author 01-24-2005 07:49 PM
I was far, far, more amused by this one.

OK, what the hell is that *thing* in the top right corner?
I hope that it not what it appears to be!

Edit: Ahh, it is a foot from another sketch, phew, for a moment there I thought it was a, well you know.

I was far, far, more amused by this one.

It looks like the "my super tree fort" drawings I did when I was about 8. Y'know, with an X-ray TV, 8 million comic books, a rocket engine and a No Girls Alowd sign.
I suppose it'll never see the light of day again, since Adam's no longer the Keymaster, but Peter flippin' Pan.

I was far, far, more amused by this one. It doesn't take a gun nut to find it excesively funny/stupid.


 among gems like 'satalite' (the sat. service of satan!!) and 'lazersite' he's made the Keyblade.. a sniper rifle? *shudder*

Plus he's comparing the Land Warrior System to strapping a 'laptop style' (so it could be a PSone with a screen, it looks like a laptop, yes?) computer to one's back. (and letting the mouse and keyb. hang to the side)

Oh, oh, his hideous Keyblade mods include a 'hud-enabled' 'Silent Scope' (right in front of the ammo clip, so it's useless) O.o 'cause, i mean, most snipers have been caught because of their hella noisy scopes. or might it be because 'silent scope' is the name of an arcade and console sniping game? man, i'd love to see Dave's take on sniping and such.

My cousin's drew better weapons than this -_-, some times what your day needs is a little Davey 'art'.

I don't know about you, but as soon as we started talking about Davey again, the ads became "Increase Your IQ." Hey, we didn't say we LIKED him!

Mimi! Why do you not link to your latest project? Let the masses see something manga-based that doesn't Clinton-job donkey (MATURE CONTENT WRARNING!!) pee-pee!

(Favorite parts: the "torturous artist" drawing and the "Bit feeds small animals" joke)

http://foxfirestudios.us/4images/details.php?image_id=9

If Davey wrote the text himself, I wouldn't be surprised.

Whoo, calling a girl a wimp! Wow, that's so tough... like fourth-grader tough.

http://foxfirestudios.us/4images/details.php?image_id=79

Not the worst thing Davey's ever done. For one, the dialogue isn't his, except for the gratuitous anime/manga ref at the bottom. Only Davey would follow "classic Disney-style storytelling" with an obscure (to me, anyway) allusion to something Japanese he likes. It'd be like me saying, "I love Shakespeare! Especially that time Bender said to Hamlet, 'Kiss my shiny metal ass'!"

On the other hand, yes, he actually sketches out his train wrecks. Note that under the giant mullet, Adam is a microcephalic (although that's not a real surprise). Apparently, his lil' pixie Firestorm ain't that lil'--she looks about 8 months pregnant.
Hopefully not with Adam Jr!

(PS: That was only an example. I fuckin' hate Shakespeare. And his shiny ass)

I wondered if this was the last look we'd ever share.
Are you sure you're not Dutch? That's a brilliant piece of Dutch-like "what's the worst outcome for this action" speculation. Huzzah for the power of the cat-wish!

Oh, great. Now I've got myself thinking about monkey's paws. Cats ain't monkeys, dammit! Stupid Dutch brain!

Magic Cat Wishes make the world better, don't they, Bill?

I believe that animals have the same emotions, thoughts, and prenomitions that humans have, and it never ceases to amaze me.

Shame on you, Bill. Look at the brim of Vivi's hat. He's looking way down, making the angle unfeasable unless Zidane has a very flexible "thingy." Vivi is bowing with his hands in front of himself, in the attitude of someone making a confession. (Which is what he's doing, but we won't talk about that.)

And, yep, Zidane has a tail.

Negs:
In the lower left panel, is that a Clinton job? On someone with a tail? No wonder Davey loves his manga...

Rendering blush in manga is easier than in anime - but crosshatching or a gradiant blush is hard to animate, so they just put clown-like patches on their cheeks instead. Especially in super-deformed stuff..

Yes, drawing circles under the eyes is anime/manga shorthand for a blush.

OK, thanks, I get it now.
It is really hard to animate a blush in an animated cartoon, or on something deformed.
In DVK's case it just means, I am a hack cartoonist and cannot draw for SHIT.

Got it ;)

Yes, drawing circles under the eyes is anime/manga shorthand for a blush. It can look quite strange at times. Vivi from Final Fantasy 9 can blush right through his hat shadow. The only way I can figure that is that his cheeks light up kile his eyes do.

Don't worry, Bill, BBC wasn't going to say a word (he STILL hasn't given replies to her Pointed Questions. Maybe she used too many big words...).
I imagine that someone on Devart might, though. They have in the past.
I think the eye-slugs are an anime convention. Rendering blush in manga is easier than in anime - but crosshatching or a gradiant blush is hard to animate, so they just put clown-like patches on their cheeks instead. Especially in super-deformed stuff..

Someone remind me-- how long has he been honing his skills?

Hee hee ha ha ha HAAAA HAAA HAAA HEEE HEEEEE...

Probably a decade at this point.

Actually, that's more sad than funny.

I'm waiting for the startling revelation that what caused the demise of previous wrearers was taking the suit off, and their own skin came off with it! [cue orchestra: dramatic sting, with trailing theramin waver]

Again, to the the poor monkey his due, while the grammarses and spleling still stink, he does seem to have discovered some notion of pacing dialogue via diverse balloons (or, as we say in our native GERMAN, "Balls!"). It's not great, but it's present. Someone remind me-- how long has he been honing his skills?

Of course, when you blush, it's your whole face. When do people blush and it's only the bags under their eyes?
(Yes, I suppose it's some anime convention the dork has stolen. I'm still working on why putting on a suit leads to a "drip drip drip" SFX, or why Minnie Mouse would spout random Japanese)

Having written that, I paused and wondered why the constant inclusion of mulletted right-wing midwesterners with robot girl fuckbots with fox tails doesn't seem the slightest bit deranged to me anymore.

Notice that he also truncates the word "nude."

Could that signify something?

And how does one blush with a face covered in fur anyway?

I guess the fur would darken, or brighten, a bit because of the flushed skin underneath. Of course, that would be in the fantasy world.

Embarrassed animals in real life just sulk or avert their eyes.

Edited by author 01-21-2005 10:41 PM
"Even your tail's feels attacked to my spine."
I think that's a record!
BBC, please DON'T correct him. I suppose Raptavio will, but let's see if Davey Dumbass lets that go through.

I suppose the eye-slugs represent embarassment but...they suck. They just look stupid. And how does one blush with a face covered in fur anyway?

edit: "slip"? That's it? Not an SFX like "PENIS CHECKING!!"?

OH MY GAWD, they both have slugs on their faces.

I forget, what does that signify ?

Checking in with.....yeah, you know what's coming...

NEw Scarlet PI
and this a mature rated- post WHY? We don't even see MAN-BOOBs.
The spelling and grammar!....it BURNS USSSS, PRECIOUSSSS!!
We need a whole page just to pull the old 'OMG WHERE'S MY WILLY??' gag?
I have to chuckle at the tone of Gontie's comment.... you can almost hear him saying 'Am I too cute to kiss or WHAT?'