It's psychotically funny. But that's just me.

it's impossible for any machine, no matter how complicated it is, to become aware of its own data.

Define "machine." Are you talking about computers?
Modern humans have existed for at least 50,000 years.
Human ancestery dates back to at least 4 million years.
Life on Earth dates back to at least 3.5 billion years.
I think any "machine," even your PC, would "become aware" after 3.5 billion years. Especially since "computers," in the modern sense, have only existed for about 50 years. They still have plenty of time to become complicated and aware.
Neanderthal vs Cro-Magnon! 1983 Commodore 64 vs Your 2005 Computer! WHO would WIN?!

Machine means anything physcial. It doesn't matter HOW complicated the machine is, or HOW long it lasts. Consciousness is a non-physical phenomena. A program of data streams could keep getting more complicated until the end of time and there's never going to be a point where it starts producing awareness. It's like if you take an abacus, and say, "This bead means one, and this bead means ten" and so forth, you can do equations and stuff on it. But the abacus itself doesn't understand any of this. And no matter how big or complex the abacus gets, or whether it's made out of beads and metal or carbon compunds, it's never going to start understanding. Not unless there's something outside working through it.

As a, uh, bit of background (cause I sure as hell didn't think this stuff up myself) I got this from a website of some quantum physicist a few years ago. I think the baseline of his argument was that the reason quantum phenomena behaves differently when it's being observed is because there's some kind of psychokenesis going on.

1983 Commodore 64 vs Your 2005 Computer! WHO would WIN?!

I once put a floppy from a Tandy compy (without knowing it was so old) on a 586 and tried to access it. the 586 DIED.

Edited by author 02-24-2005 10:47 PM
World's Oldest Cat.

edit: Oops, Oldest Living Cat. If memory serves, the Guinness record is for an English 36-year-old.

Today I spent a sizeable chunk of time wasting my existence in front of the tube. Life is pretty good.

Of course, it would be better if I didn't have a paper due Saturday that I have nooooo idea how to start, but still.

a paper due Saturday that I have nooooo idea how to start

Make the topic "Messiah with a Mullet: The Davey-Avatar as God to Fox-RoboSluts."
One could spend hours on the introduction of pi-pi-pi-pi into his recent oeuvre. Is he presenting himself as the next Feynmann (the one who stutters), or is he a semi-literate ham-footed guy who prefers boysenberry?

Today I spent a sizeable chunk of time wasting my existence in front of the tube. Life is pretty good.

I wasted about five hours doing leisure research on Rocko's Modern Life and various voice actors. Interesting fact, Zef: the B-52s did the revised version of the theme song for season 2 and up. I personally liked the first season's theme better.

Of course, it would be better if I didn't have a paper due Saturday that I have nooooo idea how to start, but still.

You have it easy. I have a small performance I need to do for one of my classes where I "fill in" for a rock star. Basically, I'll be lip-synching to the song I choose.

Thing is, I don't have the proper wardrobe and I'm torn between Prince, Rod Stewart, and Steve Tyler. (We're allowed to cross gender and race.)

It's due in about a week, but preparations's going to be a bitch.

...Steve Tyler...but preparations's going to be a bitch.

Especially the collagen injections you'll need for the lips :)

Re ugly animal voting: I personally think that the possums, bats, and mole rats are cute.

And how could anyone think that the manatee is ugly? Lookit that whiskery snout! (Well, they can be pretty ugly... with boat propeller scars.)

Bugger, they pulled all the short movies.
And just when I had an hour of my life to waste!

Yeah, I think possums are cute, too. Except for the tails.

I think that any "ugly animal" contest that doesn't include Cheney is rigged from the start! "With its fleshy, hairless, dick-shaped head and repulsive natural sneer, this bloated mammal rips into any prey it can find, rendering it into small, digestable chunks for <i>Halliburtonus corruptus</a>, AKA the common corporate weasel."

Speaking of animals, let's move onto the more lovable variety:

Asshole kidnaps neighbor's cat and--as his lawyer sez:

"Cortes' attorney, James Benjamin, said the cat was a stray and that his client saved the animal's life by not leaving it at an animal shelter, where it could have been killed.

'He took it to a safe-looking place where there are a lot of mice'."

The place? He dumped the cat in the FUCKING EVERGLADES.
Mice, alligators, whatevah. HUMANITARIAN of the YEAR award!

Most annoying thing: after the incident's happy ending (hooray!), he didn't get charged with "kidnapping with intent to kill," as he would if the victim was a human, but "petty theft."
People who abuse, torture or kill pets go on to abuse, torture or kill human beings. Have you ever heard of a serial killer who loved his pets? When will the law ever recognize this? Why are there harsh mandatory sentences for victimless crimes like "statuatory rape" and "pot smoking," but slaps on the wrists for the torture or murder of pets? And which perp goes on to be a bigger threat to the community?

Edited by author 02-26-2005 11:39 PM
SteveM:
Umm, no, still there. You'll have to watch an ad, then click through for a "free day pass."
Unless, of course, Salon has different rules for foreigners. If so, well--here goes, the direct links:

http://www.blur.com/shorts/gopher_broke/index.html

http://www.plymptoons.com/
Look for "Guard Dog"

http://www.nfb.ca/oscars2005/nfbpop2.html
Ryan

http://www.735am.com/

Find your own link to the really sucky short. edit: Which is none of the above.

Don't go here! Go to the New Comments Page.

Hey Bill, I know you're not sold on the upcoming Hitchhiker's Guide movie, but there's a really excellent new internet-only trailer that just came out in quicktime:

http://boss.streamos.com/download/ugo/ugo/...kersguide_02_hi.mov