My 18 year old son found out last year that he isn't just
ADHD but he is now and probably always has been Asperger's
Syndrome as well. I read a book by Tony Attwood and kept thinking to myself, how does this guy know my son. I have never felt that anyone understood my son until now.

I have a 9 year old son. He has not been offically diagnosed with A.S. or autism. His school and our family know he has this and is being helped. It's just nice to know that I'm not alone as a parent with a child who has this. I just wanted to let everyone in contact with this page to know how you have helped me and his father. THANK YOU!!!!

Hi everyone. Im looking for some advice. My boyfriend has been diganosed with AS. I just wanted to kno if there is anything I can do to make it easier, or understand. I really wanna know as much as I can so I can be more supportive of him. If anyone can help me, I'd appreciate it.

I am a teacher in an "AI(Autistically Impaired)room" reviewing a website that linked me to this discussion page. I have met(and worked or still work with)several students identified with Asperger's Syndrome. I do find the diagnosis to be quite subjective, at least in the school district I work in. However, I do always try to look at the student and his/her strengths and needs---rather than at the "label." I really enjoy my students and their enthusiasm for special topics they are interested in.

Excellent work. Very nice to see someone taking so much interest and pain on such an intresting subject. great work!! Visit ortho tri cyclen treatment webpage devoted to ortho tri cyclen treatment. atacand side effects webpage devoted to atacand side effects. too!

My husband and I have been married 10 years. He is 35 years old. His mother works with people who have AS. She is totally convienced that my husband has it as well. I have been doing alot of reasearch and I also believe he does. We have told him about AS, but he says he doesn't have all of the signs. He is a walking,talking brain, very very intelligent. He is an Engineer. But he lacks some social graces. He thinks it is "ok" to sit around in his underwear at home, even if company is coming over. He yells at the TV. I mean yells. When he is driving he screams at the people around him. If he has to pass gas in the grocery store, he just does it. There are so many other things that I could mention, but what I am truly interested in knowing, is how do I deal with all of these issues? We fight EVERY single day. It's his way or no way. He wont' even listen to me. I love him with all of my heart, but dealing with him is getting harder and harder. I want to save my marriage. Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks.

my husband has as i really loved him sadly my marriage didnt work out we were married for almost 2 years, he got his mother too involved and she broke us apart i still love him with all my heart but now because of his mother he hates me for reasons i really dont understand. word of advice for anyone thats dating or planning on marrying someone with as. make sure their parents are not over involved in your husband or wifes life because if not then the same thing that happend to me will happen to you

I am so stressed. I don't know how much longer I can go on with this situation. My husband of 6 yrs has Aspergers Syndrome. I didn 't know when we married. I began noticing 3 days after our wedding when he couldn't find his car keys. The way he reacted then and the many other situations since, plus the nose picking, scab picking, letting wind anywhere, burping, sensitivity to light, sound, smells and touch. His dictatorial way of speaking, his lack of showing any emotion, his imaturity and lack of sex and O so many other things are all listed on the AS charts. Our house has become like Stepto & son (remember them). Seriously, I cannot let anyone come and visit it is so embarrassing. He cannot get rid of anything. Even old newspapers. I am totally going crazy, and he won't mention it no matter how I try to approach the subject. We cannot get up the stairs because of clutter, we cannot get to our cupboards in the kitchen because of clutter, we cannot get into our spare room because everything (clutter) is piled nearly to the ceiling, th cuboards are overflowing, there are clothes and "things" everywhere, even in the loo. All this plus a lock up which he pays £200+ each month for and never goes over there, plus 3 full to the brim sheds in the garden and the loft crammed full. I had better stop here. There is so much. I feel lonely, and unloved and he is incapable of any understanding. He also spends all his very excellent wages on anything and everything, not me I might add. He is an aircraft engineer and very intelligent.

Where can I get help. I need a mediator to help me break through. I love him, but I just don't know how to copy. Please can anyone advise?

Hi, Betty-Ann here re the message previous. I tried to edit the message for spelling error, but the system woudn't let me, said I was at a different computer, which I am not as I have only just posted it. Never mind. Neither is it the time it states, and I am in UK, not US. Just to keep the facts straight. I haven't got much patience at the moment so maybe I shouldn't worry about little points like this, but I like things tidy and correct if possible. Hope someone can help anyway. Thanks.

I am so relieved to read some of these messages. I have been with my partner for 3 years and love him....but he has so many unusual behaviours that I could not understand...until today. I have been researching Asperger's Syndrome for 3 hours and have become convinced that is what he has got. Reading your messages confirms it for me. What Betty-Ann wrote is exactly my partner. How do I convince him to have a formal diagnosis? If he understands that this is what he has and seeks some help in social skilling etc., will things get better? We are considering having a baby and I am scared that things will get worse. Do they? If I leave him, it will destroy him as I know (even though he doesn't/can't show it) that he loves me and gets lonely and depressed without me. What would the people who are in a marriage with an Asperger's person say to me? Get out now while I can, or work on learning how to deal/cope with him?

Hi Jane, Only you can decide whether to stay married. From my own experience, it does not get better. My husband is now bringing items back from the council dump. I actually wish I had never met him, then I would not have such a broken heart.... At this time I do not know if our marriage will continue as I myself am up against the same brick wall. Have to go now, but will pray for you.

Hi Jane, Just got back. Will continue. My husband has had 3 wives prior to me. I knew one was divorced and the other died, but I had not known about wife No 2. Apparently they were married 6 years and whilst he was working away, she moved her daughter in and would not let him back into the house. My husband has 2 children from his 1st marriage who behave in the same way as he does. I have a feeling that I could be anyone, so long as he has someone around. I know that if I was not a Christian, I would not stay in this marriage. I tell you these things as they are my experience, not to advise you. Take care.

Wow people,,, you are bagging your husbands as if they werent even real people!

I know how it feels to live with someone who has AS. I married him about 8 months ago now and he is the most amazing person in the world. Yes we argue, yes we strugle with all sorts of random stuff, and yes its very very hard. But that does not mean that I will sit here and say that I would get a divorce if I was not a Christian. God would not of let you marry him if he wasnt the one for you.

Asperger's Syndrome is a disorder, and yes you can help yourself to get through it. The fact is that communication is the most important thing in a marriage. And if you fight with your husband let it go,,, go for a walk and cool off, and you know he will cool off too. If he doesnt show you any affection then its most likely not all his fault. You have to be understanding of this disorder too. Once you both understand it, and learn to deal with it things will get easier.

Now when my husbands sits on the couch and gets mad at something that I said because hes taken it completely out of context, he might say something like "Get out of my house" so I get up without getting upset about it and I go to my room and I say to myself "Its just the Aspergers Talking" because I know that my husband would never say anything like that, he is much more compassionate than that. And after about 5-10 minutes he will enter the room and apologise for the way he reacted and everything will be better. You just need to learn to deal with it yourself.

Hi Liz, thank you for your message. Yes I am a Christian and I do love my husband that is why I am still married to him. I also treat my husband as a human being, that is also why I am still married to him. You seem to have a husband that will apologise to you, mine never does. He tells me that I am nothing in many ways that I cannot go into here. When I put a message on this site it was a cry for help to see if anyone else has to live as I do. My husband has had to live with this all his life, he has no friends and is very introvert, but he is also oblivious to any of it, as it is completely normal to him. He spends his life being wrapped up in all of his own pet subjects and somewhere - out there - is a little female who is cooking, cleaning, and trying to live a life in my husbabands world. My husband also spends hours on the web and many of the sites are those that -as a Christian - I could divorce him for because it is adultary, need I say more - but I am still here trying to help him and trying to live in this nightmare. My own health has suffered greatly, no matter how hard I try not to let it. As for God wanting me to marry him, after our marriage when things began to go terribly wrong. like saying to a man we met when we were on honeymoon "You should get married again as I did, you need someone to wipe your arse for you when you get old" - (yes he actually said that in my presence whilst I was standing beside him) I remembered the many times when God said NO, but because I loved my husband I disobeyed God and now all I can do is say sorry to God for disobeying him and ask for His forgiveness. I am not going to say any more to you, I am happy for you and hope that as the years go on, you will still feel the same way. Thanks

Wow Betty-Ann...I have read your posts and I am a Christian woman as well...Your husband sounds like mine, with the exception that mine is Bipolar!! I can't type here too long...for fear he may come in the room. I would say I get the brutal MENTAL abuse pretty much! For example...after reading about Samson and Delilah, he misinterpreted the story and thought I was trying to decieve him in some way..SERIOUSLY...I had to CONVINCE him that I wasn't...Oh, there are MANY stories I could share...he used to call me names...that has lessened FOR NOW...He probably falls in and out of love with me daily..It's terrible! He has been married 2 X before me and this is my very first marriage...I'll be checking back...