Bush's wire

Slate summarizes the speculation on Bush's radio receiver. Anyone who thinks it's anything other than that given some of the evidence provided at these various sites is either kidding themselves, or a Texan.



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Or is Thomas Pynchon.

Toronto the beautiful
For all the Toronto ninjas out there, here are some nice photo guides to the city. Who knew it could be so purty?

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Nada Torontone ninja! Sorry .. the CN tower's subtler nuances require new screws$$,

More on Bush and the hand up his ass

Well, it's become more and more apparent that Bush has a hand up his ass. And not in the good-for-everyone Tristan Taormino way (not work safe). A senior photo analyst for NASA is willing to risk his reputation on the claim that Bush was wearing a wire.

For the past week, while at home, using his own computers, and off the clock at Caltech and NASA, Nelson has been analyzing images of the president's back during the debates. A professional physicist and photo analyst for more than 30 years, he speaks earnestly and thoughtfully about his subject. "I am willing to stake my scientific reputation to the statement that Bush was wearing something under his jacket during the debate," he says. "This is not about a bad suit. And there's no way the bulge can be described as a wrinkled shirt."

You're voting for a puppet, people. Someone who's being fed his lines and still can't get them right. He's like a reject from The Dark Crystal. Or maybe Fraggle Rock. (Note: I try to not link to subscription sites, but Salon is the only place I could find this. Go for the day pass -- I got a John Stewart ad, which was about 15 seconds long.) (From Clive)



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"Can we all get along?"
I have to admit, I'm confused by all this talk of unity and the healing of rifts down in the U.S. The issues people voted on were not policy ones, they were issues of what America is, and to preach unity is to ignore the fact that a large number of Americans are striving to turn the country into a theocracy, if not in goverment then at least in actual living conditions. Besides, the Democrats preached unity after the last, uh, election, and look what happened — Ayatollah Bush now has a mandate. It seems to me that this is exactly the time to not get along. Fortunately, for those who just want out, there are a couple of options. And for those of us already on the outside? Well, I'm waiting to read the American version of Persepolis.

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Send us your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free — and your gays!
Congrats to the people of Saskatchewan for being the latest province to welcome equal rights!

A judge in Saskatoon has ruled that refusing to grant same-sex couples a marriage licence violates their Charter rights under the Constitution.

With Friday's ruling, Saskatchewan becomes the seventh jurisdiction in Canada to allow gays and lesbians to legally marry.

The way I see it, if things continue the way they're going, soon gay people in the USAR should be able to apply to Canada for refugee status. But as disgusted as I am by what happened down south recently, I'm prouder than ever to be a Canadian, a citizen of a country that for the most part privileges reason, tolerance and equality over lunacy, xenophobia and hatred. Now if we only could switch most of our trading from the USAR to Belgium....

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Edited by author 11-06-2004 05:47 PM
Yay Saskatchewan!

The invisible woman

Did you notice there were very few women commentators on television during the election? Heather Mallick did.

Comedian Sandra Shamas said it best at the end of her latest one-woman show: “I don't feel lucky to be a Canadian.”

Pause.

“I just feel relieved to be a Canadian.”

And the audience, cheering, knew just what she meant. What was odd, though, was that the cleverest quote came from a woman, one of the gender that seemed to vanish during the recent months that happened to include the American election campaign. The absence of women's faces, voices and writing was so extreme that at times I doubted our existence.



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Theocracy Watch
Unfortunately, this site should be required reading for the next four years. Or the next 12, if Jeb runs for ayotallah. And don't forget to get your flu shot!

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Down south the political debate continues to rage

Between the blats of profanity.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking Tennessee Valley Authority electricity and your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets hit by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's money" is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on, guess. That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole, they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute ago? Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop signs, assholes.

(From Palabris)



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Fight the power

The power is eBay.

A global movement of disgruntled eBay customers has decided to rebel against the internet auction site, claiming that the company has failed to address users' concerns on security, fraud and service.

The rebels, led by Vicente Font, a Spanish eBay user, have opted to "strike" against the company. Any action could cost the company, which has made has made profits of $715 million on revenues of $3 billion over the past year, tens of millions of dollars in sales in a matter of hours.

The rebels? I know how to take care of this. Let us make an example of Alderaan... God, it's so easy. I should go into corporate consulting. What's that, Mr. Gates? Your users are disgruntled because your fucking useless Service Pack 2 fucked up their machines? Well, my advice is: blow up their planet. It's really the only solution.



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The Virtual Museum of Canada
This site links to all sorts of CanCult, including growing up in Guelph, Christmas traditions and the history of the Black Loyalists in Canada. Handy for all you historiographic metafictioneers out there.

This groundbreaking gateway is the result of a strong partnership between Canada's vast museum community and the Department of Canadian Heritage. Spearheading the enterprise is the Canadian Heritage Information Network, a federal agency that for thirty years has enabled the heritage community to benefit from cutting-edge information technologies.

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US not totally gone to pot

But Footloose 2 (subtitled, Electric Mormon Boogaloo) seems to be dead on the cutting room floor.



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It's funny (and scary) because it's true

A comic once again says more in one panel than the entire American mainstream media has been able to say in thousands of words. (From The Rake)



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"The doctors said, 'If you're going to have a nail in the brain, that's the way you want it to be'"
 
No, we're not talking about the latest Stephenson novel.



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34 Bush scandals
 
Print it out, send it to Harry Reid, or just read it and weep. Here are 34 scandals from the first four years of George W. Bush's presidency -- every one of them worse than Whitewater.

How far can you read without indignant noises unintentionally escaping your pursed lips? (I normally don't link to Salon, because a) they're behind registration and b) they're not all that good anymore, but this is a must read. So watch the ad for a free day pass.) (From BlogTHIS)



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File under: Hell in a hand basket

Just in time for the crowning: a reminder of how things are going in the current US monarchy. They whittle and chip away at rights until crap like this starts to go down. Luckily, some people are articulate and have 200,000 daily readers to fall back on for support. (No, not me, silly. Though I can see how you might have made that mistake...) Ten years from now, even they might not be enough and Mr. Doctorow might have found himself in a holding cell. Five years?



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This is probably the coolest thing I've ever seen in my whole life

How to kick someone's ass with your cane or umbrella. From Pearson’s Magazine, 11 (January 1901)



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Very useful, George. Thank you.

Almost makes you want to get a walking stick, doesn't it?

Indeed. How else would one elegantly "sever a man's jugular vein through the collar of his overcoat" or bayonette a boxer in the heart?

Good grief.

Talking when you can't speak

Clive Thompson looks into communicating with the disabled via computer interface.



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Go Lloyd! Go Lloyd! Go! Go! Go Lloyd!

Who ever thought the opportunity to chant behind Lloyd Axeworthy like a prize fighter would ever arrive? I mean, you hope and you dream, but never really think it will happen...

And these Canadians believe that the United Nations should indeed be reformed -- beginning with an agreement to get rid of the veto held by the major powers over humanitarian interventions to stop violence and predatory practices.

On this score, you might want to explore the concept of the 'Responsibility to Protect' while you're in Ottawa. It's a Canadian idea born out of the recent experience of Kosovo and informed by the many horrific examples of inhumanity over the last half-century. Many Canadians feel it has a lot more relevance to providing real human security in the world than missile defence ever will.

This is not just some quirky notion concocted in our long winter nights, by the way. It seems to have appeal for many in your own country, if not the editorialists at the Wall Street Journal or Rush Limbaugh. As I discovered recently while giving a series of lectures in southern California, there is keen interest in how the U.S. can offer real leadership in managing global challenges of disease, natural calamities and conflict, other than by military means.

(Thanks, Yankee Doodle Jon.)



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Want to feel better about life?

And worse at the same time? Check and see how rich you are. Trust me, you're richer than you think. Even if you use your income from a part time job you had ten years ago. It's very frightening. (Thanks to Lady Ninja)


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The end of privacy

I feel like a shrivelled old tanned-to-orange nudist. At Bookninja we will never collect information on you, our users. Primarily this is because we don't know how. But it also has to do with laziness.


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This is not my beautiful house! This is not my beautiful wife!

Because I can't resist anything he does: the photography of David Byrne.


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100 monkeys at 100 paintbrushes

I'd buy this. No really, I think it's beautiful and raw and inspiring. And by, "I'd buy this", I mean, I'd buy this if I had money to spare.


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I prefer the art of Dumbo (or is that d'Humbeau?):

http://www.elephantart.com/catalog/splash.php

9/11 art

An artist recreates falls from a building in an attempt to expressly mimic the falls of 9/11 victims from the top floors of the World Trade Center. Speaking as someone who was standing a couple hundred feet away watching these people hit the pavement, I can say without at doubt that the sick feeling this leaves in my stomach is how I know it's good art.


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Edited by author 06-23-2005 10:07 AM
I'm melting! I'm melting!

My kids would be slipping on purpose. Snapple fails to enter Guinness Book of World Records with largest popsicle treat; instead a disaster ensues as sticky treat reacts to, uhm, weather! Actually, I think this is the perfect combo of Guinness and popsicle. It may not win a record but it sure looks refreshing.

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In a nutshell...

Here's what's wrong with America. Shake! Tremble! Cower! The people who voted for this list are the people who have a finger on the button (and another on the remote).

In order, the top 10 greatest Americans selected are:

1. Ronald Reagan
2. Abraham Lincoln
3. Martin Luther King
4. George Washington
5. Benjamin Franklin
6. George W. Bush
7. Bill Clinton
8. Elvis Presley
9. Oprah Winfrey
10. Franklin D. Roosevelt

Um, yeah. The pro-gay, anti-slavery dude comes second to the drooling warmonger. Sounds about right. American intellectuals (you know who you are), rise up! It's time for pitchforks and torches. This list is the dark experiment conducted in the mansion the the cliff. It's the reason to say, Nay! Fie! Let's take back our fair land from list-making couch jockeys!


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dude, the problem is that none of the American intellectuals voted. And btw, who's the pro-gay, anti-slavery dude? Bill Clinton? Can you say "Don't Ask Don't Tell", and "Acts of genocide!" He visited Africa but refused to apologize for slavery! Come on G!

No, I meant faggy emancipator Lincoln. Everyone on this list is fucked in some way or another, but what fucking nut thinks Reagan is better than Lincoln?

To quote Gord Downie, it's just a matter of a trickle down...

To quote myself, eek!

Ronald f*#^*?ing Reagan? Mr. we-will-begin-the-bombing-in-five-minutes Reagan? Screw this, I'm emigrating to Europe.

Edited by author 07-27-2005 10:24 AM
Jesus loves you

This I know.

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And because I believe you need to see this in order to be a good writer...

A shark killed by an octopus. (From Incoming Signals)


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Is it just me, or was there something pornographic about that video?

Only if you're part of a Japanese subculture.

It's not nearly as pornographic as this

P

Oh my. That's disturbing.

That was the best link ever made from BN. Thank you. I can now die happy.

The octopus or the espresso? I vote espresso. It's almost obscene!

G

And because you need to know

Molecular machines are coming. Let's hope they make pens out of them too.


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One Katrina post

I've been trying to stay clear of the whole Katrina thing, mostly because my opinions on the matter won't be popular (poor countries offering a significant fraction of their GDP in aid for a country that threatens their sovereignty and offered as measly $15M to Tsunami victims? It's obscene!), but this blog post, brought to my attention by Lady Ninja, seems to sum all those feelings up in a way likely more palatable than my frothing about responsibility and socioeconomics.


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Wow that blog post is incredibly naive -- George Bush didn't become President because he actually cares about people... jeez.

Never thought I'd stand up for Bush, but DUDE, they upped the ante after the first $15M was given...

Some possibly good news

The more sexist you are, the shorter your life will be. Somehow that feels like it should be good news, but practically, sadly, I don't think it makes a difference.


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Hate Mondays?

Well, at least this wasn't you. ... ... Um, was it?


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Looking for love in all the wrong pancakes

You know, every now and then my battered inner Protestant-raised-in-a- baptist-church rears its malformed, hymn-humming head and says, Yo, Geordie-boy, the end is near. There's the whole hurrivolcanoquakenami thing of the last year, and this proselytising, self-replicating chimp at the button, and the first horseman has a three-and-a-half inch nipple hair... you know, the usual concerns. But then I realize I'm just screwed up like the other Christians: we all see what we want see. To coin a phrase I hope to spread worldwide, We all have our popecakes, for hopesakes. Can't we all just get along?


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Growing your brain like a weed!

With good old-fashioned pot. Sweeeeeeeet. By this logic, I should have had a head the size of an airplane tire by the time I was 30. (What do you suppose the mice giggle about? "So then, Marvin says, 'Squeeeeak, squeeeak!', and I was all, like, 'Squeeek yourself!'... hee hee hee... Oh man, I nearly fell over the water spout, I was laughing so hard!")


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What's it gots in its pockets, precious?

Bush doesn't carry anything of consequence in his pockets. Kind of like his head. He's not only got people to think and speak for him (through his little ear phone), but some to carry his wallet and cell and keys. This is a good thing, because we wouldn't want a repeat of the famous locking his cellphone in his wallet incident of 2000.


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Dude, I am so voting for you as he-man of the year

A guy kills with his bare hands a five point buck the broke into his home. I'm pretty sure he has to be a Canadian.


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I'm pretty sure he has to be a relative...

Third dimension an illusion

Which means authors of what reviewers refer to as two-dimensional prose haven't wasted any effort struggling for something that doesn't exist.


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When irony knows no earthly bonds

Cap'n! I cannae give ye any moor power! That's all she'll give me! And our script writers aren't as good at techobabble as they'll be in 30 years, so I cannae even come up with somethin about static warp shells and resonance frequency inversion!


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I suffer from this all the time

But it's not the works of GREAT art that make me homicidal... (Seriously, though, I totally buy this. The first time I saw the statue of David, I nearly fainted. No lie. I walked into the Academia through this innocuous little door in a blank wall, went through some turnstiles and then walked down a corridor until I had to turn right. On turning right you look down a hallway lined with busts and statues and at the end, framed in the archway leading into the main chamber is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. And it's fucking huge! People told me in advance, "Oh, when you see David, you'll be surprised how big it is." But nothing can prepare you for 50 feet of naked male beauty. I literally had heart palpitations and as I came closer, I thought I was going to pass out. I went from blasé to feverish in a split second. The only other time something like that happened was with The Last Supper in Milan.)


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Here, boy! Thataboy! BANG!

Old Mother Hubbard went to her cupboard to fetch her poor dog a bone...
But when she got there, the cupboard was bare, so she fed him a hand grenade instead to speed his passing.


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Thank god I was not born 330 million years ago...

A giant Scottish scorpion? Aye...


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Trace fossil; I've always loved that term.

K

Is your dog laughing at you?

Dogs laugh, and yours in particular is laughing at you. Try putting him out of the room while you eat, workout or have sex. That oughtta cut out the majority of the times you look funny. ("Heh heh, they think I'm just a stupid dog that waits on their approval and will eat anything... heh heh... Oooh, spilled corn!")


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yet another excuse for why i haven't got any writing done today...

The Ricky Gervais Show on Guardian Unlimited
http://www.guardian.co.uk/rickygervais

A half-hour of all-new drivel from Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington. You can listen whenever and wherever you want as these weekly shows are offered as handy iPod-friendly digital files for up to four weeks after they're first posted.

This makes my live computation device hurt

Rat brains will soon be flying fighter jets. You know, instead of the whole rat.


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Consider yourself retired!

Old age Kiwi pensioners tackle and hogtie a burly


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Don't bite the nose that feeds you...

Egad. Can you imagine? A lifetime of knowing the nose on your face was not only in a dog's mouth, but in its stomach. That's halfway to its ass! It's like some terrible Seinfeld nightmare. Here's hoping the kid doesn't start sniffing his friends crotches at parties. Or maybe, on reflection, here's hoping he does...


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This brings to mind the wisdom of Groucho Marx: "Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it is too dark to read." It is, however, never too dark to smell.

fMRI

fMRI fMRO (freaks me right out). Boing Boing points to a scanning process that can read the activity of the mind as it is working. My readout looks just like a broken VCR clock in the dark. 12:00... 12:00... 12:00...


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Proof that TV is bad for you

You'll be watching it two years after you're dead.


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Like Prince, Bogman wore hairgel to make himself look taller

Turns out the whole A Flock of Seagulls movement started much earlier than previously thought.


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My inner nerd is all stiff and engorged with blood

Ahh... The term "hyperspace" in a serious article. Now we're getting somewhere. Pleasepleaseplease in my lifetime? Purtyplease?


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It's not just the call centre employee listening to you rant...

It's their computer too. EwEwEwEwEeeeew!


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Can't we all just get along?

Dudes, if this shit can go down in a zoo with tiny-brained varmints, imagine the possibilities for "higher" forms of life. Like sea monkeys and Mensa members. (Seriously though, I hope we get an update when the snake casually gobbles up it's best pal without a second thought. Anthropomorphize that, suckah.)


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How things have changed

Google Earth captures a picture of a flying antique once used for "photo-reconnaissance duties".


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Edited by author 01-25-2006 09:20 AM
Gold barf

The fact that they stand to make $300G off this lump of puke is enough to make me throw up with jealousy.


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