Just an update to my posting of 2007: I am now on full-time disability, due to major depressive disorder (which seems to be much better now that I am not struggling to fit in to a dysfunctional workplace all the time). My two psychiatrists, primary clinician, acute clinician, and (reluctantly) my job counselor all agreed that I could not fit into a work situation with my Asperger's plus major depressive disorder. I ended up getting into screaming matches with my supervisor because I would not "name names" when they wanted me to rat out on my co-workers. Management could not understand I had a code of ethics I needed to adhere to. I ended up having suicidal ideations (thoughts of killing myself) as the job demands grew more intense; I was NOT able to handle the rapidly increasing stress levels that affected all levels of my hospital.

(I was also dealing with abnormal levels of spinal pain at the time; the steriod injections I had - series of 3 epidurals - probably was the last straw in destabilizing my emotional state).

The good news is that now, 11 months after my last breakdown at work, I am relatively happy, much healthier, and working towards improving my mental health in a proactive way. My psychiatrist has me taking 400 mg of 5 HTP Tryptophan + B complex in aditional to my psych meds, and I have been able to reduce my anti-depressant from 300 mg/day in May 2008 to 87.5 mg /day in March 2009. We are also trying reducing my modd stabilizer (Zonegram) from 300 to 200 mg. I must add that I have been on a GLUTEN-FREE diet since October 2006, and I think that this greatly affects the success of my treatment: I now ABSORB my medications and supplements. If I have even a little bit of gluten, my mood de-stabilizes.

I am a practicing Buddhist, and find that the discipline of meditation and prayer form a big factor in my peacefulness and stability. I would be "lost" without it. I utilize the techniques of radical awareness (Tara Brach) which is based on Buddhism; this helps me cope with many day-to-day stressors.

I do have panic attacks at the idea of returning to work; my doctor has assured and re-assured me I do not have to do so.

I'm sorry I can't provide a magic bullet for those of us with Asperger's and other mental health issues to enable us to fit into the work world. Of late, the business world has become MUCH less tolerant of any people who question authority and do not tow the line. Deviation from the norm is simply not acceptable. This makes fitting in even most difficult, if not impossible.

My suggestions would be to find a job in a small, private bookstore, or a small private store or office that MIGHT, I repeat MIGHT be able and willing to adapt to our different way of thinking.