Please help me. I am a 40 year old woman who believes in her soul she is an "Aspie". I have almost every diagnostic problem listed on the psych evals available on the internet. I have always been labelled "wierd". My sister goes with me to meet new people because she guides the conversation so I understand the new person and they understand me. She is my interpreter, I guess. People are exhausting for me. I am constantly having to make sure my facial expressions convey what I am trying to say. I still get it wrong, though. People tend not to trust me because they "feel" something isn't right. When I get a new job, employers start out thrilled thinking they have just found the goose that lays the golden eggs, largely because of my vocabulary. They put the "off" messages down to nervousness at a new job. But within a few weeks, they are dumbfounded at my inability to grasp things everyone else picks up on immediately. Some employers have extended a normal two week training period to three months and end up firing me or demoting me because I only grasp the higher functions of the job. For instance, at Burger King, I was the Shift Manager. I got the managerial duties just fine. But I didn't get the hourly jobs, like how to make the sandwiches. And I am SLOW. I still fail to see how I could have been faster. I did my best. I would have to ask the same questions every day. It is very frustrating to know that I am going to go in to work today asking the very same questions I asked yesterday, and to know they know I will too. They get frustrated that I can't seem to remember the answer to that, but I sure can remember the combination to the safe after doing it once, or that I can remember every cash transaction on my drawer for an entire week, but not how to make a certain burger that I've made a thousand times. I was written up repeatedly and I finally just quit. I have only been able to last about 3 months at any job.
I have no friends. Mostly it's because I am so outspoken. If I see hypocrisy in a person, then I'm done with them. It's like a worm that infests me. At first it just irritates me to see the difference between their words and their actions. But very quickly, I shun them because I can't stand the dichotomy. What I perceive as honesty, others perceive as rude. I've even started friendships off by telling them I have Asperger's and explaining what it is, thinking they will cut me some slack if they know up front what is wrong. But it doesn't work that way. They still expect me to be like everyone else. So I guess I don't get to have friends or jobs.
Please contact me with some advice, help, anything. My email is: QueenAngie_2005@yahoo.com
Thanks in advance,
Angela Mayes