I am a black man who until recently thought I was pretty open minded about interracial dating and marriage. I graduated from a predominately white university and have many friends of different races. But I have to say that I have a huge problem with black women dating and marrying men of different races. I do not like it. When I see a black woman with a guy of a different race, I can't help but think that she has classified all black men as no good because of one or two fools that she may have dealt with in her past. What many people outside the black race don't understand is that there seems to be a growing sentiment among black women that their a no good black men. Or my favorite, that all the good black men are gay or in jail. To me their dating a guy of another race echoes this sentiment. What they fail to realize is that there are plenty of good black men out their. Good hard working men who may not have alot of material wealth but plenty of heart and looking for a good black woman to share and grow with. It seems like alot of black women are penalizing the good black men for their lack of superficial qualities. Expensive cars, fancy clothes, bling etc. They get caught in wanting a man with all of that stuff, legal or crooked. When they find one and he does them wrong, then ALL black men are no good. So they move on to the next race or lesbianism, another growing factor in the black culture. I myself am married to my college sweetheart who is black.

I am tired of the notion or seeing things that put in peoples minds that black women are of lesser value. The misinterpretation is that black men don't want her and neither do white men or men of other ethnic groups. And every time we document interracial relationships it's always black men and white women. We need to document more white men and black women. Black women are equally valuable and need to be seen as such. If black women were more open to interracial relationships, they would find that white men and men of other ethnic groups are just waiting for an opportunity! The fact is, I have witnessed many black men say they prefer a black women! People like what they like for whatever reasons. Bottom-line is, if we just drop all our walls and just allow ourselves to be attracted to whoever we wished; we would find that majority relationships would be interracial. We need to maximize our opportunities to find a life partner and make life friendships. We minimize our opportunities by staying in our little corner(segregated). "There is someone for everyone" but if we allow race to be our wall; we will never know what's on the other side.

Hello,
I have just stumbled across this website and found it interesting. I am a young well educated, professional, black woman who is married to a white man. I am extremely happy with our relationship. I did not choose him because of his race but because of his heart. I am tired of people portraying black women as being less than or jealous of white women. I love who I am. I love where I come from and the future that lays before me. I dont care if a white women dates a black man because they must make each other happy. The relationship of a stranger does not affect my personal life. I hope that the world can get to a place where all people are viewed as being beautiful and equal. There are more crucial things in the world to think about than why one race is better than the other. I have many beautiful white friends as well as beautiful black friends. Beauty and attraction can be found in more ways than just skin color.

Hi here how are you? I am newbie in www.quicktopic.com so i hope i will get some friends here :)

Has this documentary been released yet? If so, where can I find it?

Hi, I just came across your blog having done a google search on my name. I am writing to ask that you please remove your article entitled "The Black Gender Gap in the Classroom" by Caille Millner. This article contains a "quote" attributed to me during my sophomore year of college--a statement that I never made. I have already spoken with Ms. Millner about removing this inaccurate "quote" from the article and about removing the article from the web altogether. Both the tone and content of the statement attributed to me are completely against how I feel (both then and now) and the fact that these words are still floating around in cyberspace truly bothers me. Please remove this article from your blog. If you have any questions, feel free to contact me directly at nji1979@yahoo.com. Thank you. Ken Ebie

Hi,
Seems like you two are pretty far along in your process. If interested in perhaps a collaborative effort creating a more comprehensive film on race and relationships please contact me at mlee99z@gmail.com. I am Asian American and our big issue is Asian/Asian-American Women and white men.

Edited by author 07-25-2006 07:05 AM
Xu Shan's Memories of Prenatal Period:
The discovery of a Spiritual and Cultural Prototype of Human Beings Published

Xu Shan: Memories of Prenatal Period: The discovery of a Spiritual and Cultural Prototype of Human Beings (Chinese edition, 2002, New Star Publishing House, Seoul, Kerea)

Xu Shan
(1)Professor, Dept. of Chinese, Suzhou University, Suzhou 215006, P.R.China. M.A. 1987, Nanjing Teachers' Univ; Ph.D. 2002, Shanghai Teachers' University.

(2)Blog: http://blog.sina.com.cn/m/xu_shan

(3)Works:
1.Thunder-God Worship: The Origin of Chinese Culture, Shanghai Joint Publishing House, Shanghai, 1992;
2. The Origin of Chinese Language, Sichuan People's Publishing House, Sichuan, 1998;
3. Xu Shan's Selected Papers on Chinese Language, New Star Publishing House, Seoul, 2002;
4.Memories of Prenatal Period: The discovery of a Spiritual and Cultural Prototype of Human Beings, New Star Publishing House, Seoul,2002;
5. Research Papers on Chinese Ancient Characters, Chinese Literature and History Publishing House, 2003;
6. Xu Shan's 1000 Short Poems, Cozy House Publisher, New York,2004;
7. An Analysis of the Structure and Words of The Book of Changes, China Bookstore, 2005.

Abstract
The affairs the author had experienced in a week's time after Jan. 29, 1996, impelled an important turn in the author's thought. With the study of stories (A huge Dinosaur lays eggs, etc.) and dreams narrated by my daughter (6 years old, born on Jan. 25, 1990) as well as the author's self-hypnosis, it has been made clear that the starting point of human beings' spirit originates from memories of prenatal period, of which the strong marks and influence left in personal history and mankind's culture can be observed. To take memories of prenatal period as a new angle to survey extensively the history of human beings and the creations of our mankind's souls, a lot of hard-to-understand riddles have been deciphered. The discovery of memories of prenatal period turns over a new leaf in the field of life sciences, and makes an important step in the fields of psychology, religion, dream culture, literature study, and traditional culture and ideology.

Contents
Preface
We want to reopen the story of the beginning of life. I want to know what I am and why I am so. Fortunately an opportunity has come at last.

1. A Huge Dinosaur Lays Eggs
Everyone seems to be unable to recall his own things in a period of time after birth, not to mention birth itself. The story "A Huge Dinosaur Lays Eggs" on January 29, 1996 and the subsequent dreams narrated by my daughter S (6 years old) as well as the author's self-hypnosis show that we do not forget memories of prenatal period related with personal life that begins at the instant parents' sperm and egg have been united, which will reveal in a particular mental state.

2. The Properties of Memories of Prenatal Period
The beginning of life is the first experience of death. The survival way of fetus depends on mother. When individual life begins, its sense organs start to work and store in memory. Umbilical cord trauma brings about the greatest mystery in one¡¯s life. The corresponding psychological feelings at five stages during prenatal period. The wishes to return to mother's body and the operating features of entering memories of prenatal period.

3. The Reappeared Forms of the Spiritual Prototype of Memories of Prenatal Period
Everyone comes from prenatal period, and memories of prenatal period are sure to reappear in varying degrees at the different stages of life. Many important phenomenon of human culture, which people are still puzzled about, have been vanished with the help of a spiritual prototype of memories of prenatal period.

(1)An Exile from the Garden of Eden
The theme and structure that Adam and Eve expelled from the Garden of Eden in Genesis of Bible are based on memories of prenatal period. The Christian concept of original sin is derived from the logical explanation of umbilical cord trauma in memories of prenatal period, and moreover, reaches the rational height, which is unique in human culture, of criticizing human nature itself, that is, people have their evil sides.

(2)Nirvana
Nirvana, the highest realm of Buddhism, can be arrived at through meditation and self-enlightenment, the process of which is that first of all, one returns to memories of prenatal period, and when it is finished, all of one's memories are cleared away. The void that has been seen with eyes closed at this moment (we name it as "void memory") is nirvana. The rational core of nirvana is to wipe out completely the psychological bed of fear by void memory associated with memories of prenatal period, and to re-lay one's psychological cornerstone. The outlook of transmigration is a misunderstanding of the deformed phenomenon in the returning-style memories of prenatal period.

(3)In the Face of Death
Tibetan Buddhism's famous work The Tibetan Book of the Dead has been re-interpreted, the theoretical basis of which is nirvana and transmigration. The process of dealing with death is an art.

(4)Near Death Experiences
The psychological process of returning to memories of prenatal period in near-death experiences is that the tunnel is a necessary threshold into mother's body with quiet and joyful feeling in it.

(5)So-called Previous Existence
When returning to memories of prenatal period in hypnosis, one's own memories of prenatal period is misunderstood as other's things, that is, so-called non-self present existence but self¨Clinking previous one.

(6)The Phenomenon of Qu Yuan
As a unique human tragedy, suicide is a trap of memories of prenatal period in a sense of primitive killing which one falls into at a low ebb of negative psychology, and at last one is defeated by inner fear.

(7)Peach-blossom Springs
The prototype of Tao Yuanming's Peach-blossom Springs is a happy memory of placenta in memories of prenatal period. The physical -psychological features in the motivation of his retiring from political life.

(8)The Words of Pop Songs
"Mom" theme evokes a complex about returning to mother's body. "Happiness and misery", the bipolar feelings of love theme, are the easiest to activate a complex of parents, and then raise the "life and death" experience in memories of prenatal period.

(9)Mandala
Circle is called as mandala in Sanskrit. The mandala seen with eyes closed marks an entrance onto memories of prenatal period. The traces of mandala in my early poems.

(10)An Analysis of My Daughter's Other Dreams
The other features of wishes to return to mother's body in children's souls as well as dreams are pointed out by an analysis of my daughter A's 12 dream cases from August 1996 to September 1997.

(11)A Reanalysis of Some Dreams in The Interpretation of Dreams
Freud's The Interpretation of Dreams is a classic for dream study. Freud held that children's dreams were simple, and meanwhile he was unable to obtain the overt examples of children's memories of prenatal period; therefore his theory of dream was impossible to touch memories of prenatal period as human's psychological bottom, and some dreams could not be accurately analyzed. Using the framework of memories of prenatal period after the new study of 10 dream cases in The Interpretation of Dreams, the relationship between memories of prenatal period and dreams has been clarified so that Freud's deficiency has been made up.

(12)Jung's Collective Unconscious
Jung's abstruse concept of collective unconscious can be replaced by a clear one of memories of prenatal period that everyone has. An analysis of Jung's dream at the age of three or four ,of which he had been thinking hard all his life, shows that memories of prenatal period has an important influence upon the psychological development of human being.

(13)The Initiating Experiments of Memories of Prenatal Period
Returning to memories of prenatal period should go through the threshold of visual image like a cave or a tunnel. The details of the psychological activities during returning to memories of prenatal period were observed after the "cave-or-tunnel" experiments I had designed to trigger off memories of prenatal period.

4. An Analysis of Classical Taoist and Confucian Works as Two Mainstays in Chinese Traditional Culture
With the psychological perspective of memories of prenatal period and interrelated void memory, the four books, Lao Tzu, The Analects of Confucius, Chuang Tzu and Mencius, are reviewed that the purport of China's traditional culture is to advocate kindheartedness, freedom of humanity and peaceful, tranquil society, with which to contend with all kinds of fear.

(1) Lao Tzu
The experience of fear in reality. Taoism, and memories of prenatal period and void memory. Taoism and God. Non-action and non-contention.

(2) The Analects of Confucius
The ideological core of Confucius is humanity and ceremony. Humanity is the ultimate affirmation and expectation of human beings. Confucian outlook on God. Confucian view on history. Confucian self-cultivation. The golden mean as an orientation of value in contradiction and opposition.

(3) Chuang Tzu
The goblet statement, important statement and fable. An analysis of 7 chapters of inner articles, chapter by chapter and section by section. With the features of memories of prenatal period, Chuang Tzu guided the individual, interpersonal relations, and relations between human and nature in order to achieve the mankind well-being of personal freedom and peaceful society.

(4) Mencius
Mencius' anxiety and happiness. Mencius' view on human nature. His historical view. Preserving the vast breathe. Grasping the mean and adaptable in tactics.

5. The Resistance to Fear
Fear accompanies birth, but people wish to live on the principle of happiness.

(1)The Threefold Origins of Fear
memories of prenatal period, the unfavorable nature and the interpersonal survival competition. Our attitude.

(2)Parental Responsibilities
The sacred bounden duty of parents to the next generation. Parent's own physical and mental health influences the next generation. Good prenatal and postnatal care, and early family education.

(3)Free People
An individual life is essentially free. People must think, choose and survive independently. Two major footholds of the free people in modern society are democracy and science.

Afterword
The discovery of memories of prenatal period as an origin of human's spirit, turns over a new leaf in the field of life sciences, and declares that the book, namely human itself, can completely understood at the ultimate level. We should thank mother. We should thank the universe. The creation and practice of a formula "Freedom = Love".

Appendix
(1) The sketch maps, which my daughter S drew in a total of 4 pieces on the morning of February 1, 1996, show the story of a pipe narrated by my daughter S.

(2) The sketch maps, which my daughter S drew in a total of 15 pieces on the morning of September 21, 1997, show the story of a fearful huge monster narrated by my daughter S.

(3) The record of questions and answers on dream between my daughter S and I ,(on the evening of October 24, 1998; the morning of October 25, 1998; the noon of October 25, 1998; in a total of three times) and my daughter S' free talks on the topic of dream.

My daughter S' answers and free talks at the age of eight years and 9 months, show a cognitive level of children at that age ,and help us grasp fully the features of children's psychology.

Thank you as usual for your honest views Denise, and thank you for granting us an interview for TABOO. I respect your right to your opinions as this is America, and always honor your frankness.

However, how do you account for the fact that race does not scientifically exist and is only socially constructed? One country's "colored person" is another country's "African." Have you ever done a DNA breakdown of your bloodline? You might be surprised. Very few people are pure anything. Clearly there are myriad issues around interracial relations because of our joint master/slave history in this country and deep rooted institutionalized racism. However, I am still unclear about your unfounded fears regarding "race mixing" and consistent generalizations around race in general.

So sorry for the double posts. I forget to be smart sometimes. :-)
And I wanted to add - I'M LIKE A MILLION TIMES THINNER THAN I WAS WHEN I WAS INTERVIEWED. JESUS.
MY SPACE

Edited by author 05-17-2006 11:12 PM
Been too long since I've debated, clarified or stirred up the self-righteous anger around here, eh? Truth is, even an old byrd like me can find new and wondrous things this world has to offer. NO!! My views/opinions regarding racial mixing have not changed in any way. I still firmly believe we are all made the way we are, to add what it is we are to add and that the generations of careful, educated and intentional breeding by our forefathers is something too PRECIOUS AND TOO "FORGOTTEN" in our current state of fear - excuse me - POLITICAL CORRECTNESS.
What has changed - as I'm sure you're all ANXIOUS to know is my faith. Powerful, life-changing, soul reviving faith in gods and godesses the Roman Empire and it's instrument of terror - christianity - very nearly made extinct. As a devout Christian my entire adult life - as an avid and obsessed researcher of the new testiment and "christ," having the truth - MY TRUTH - shown to me in ways I could not deny - well, for those who have found their religion/spirituality - you know the impact and confusion I first experienced! For those still seeking - KEEP SEEKING! Until you can say "none of it makes sense to me" and believe those words, live that statement with all you are - SEEK! READ! LISTEN! LEARN!
There is only one thing I am truly sure we all, as humans, have the ability to respect another for - and that is true conviction. Your relationship with your god/gods/godesses/nature/nothing.....THAT IS WHO WE REALLY ARE AND HOW WE REALLY WANT TO LIVE. Politically correct terrorism and the idiot box have deadened our minds and our hearts so much that we either fear to be who we are or we don't know at all.
I am a racial woman. I believe that my Nordic blood is precious and that my mission on this earth is guided by Odin and many other nordic gods and goddesses. THESE ARE MY GODS. JEWS HAVE THEIRS. ARABS, HINDU, SATANISTS...... I was given my life - a gift and my gods do not judge me for my failures. The failures teach what I am to know and when it's time to know it! My gods are also those of war. Valhalla and eternity with Odin is for the purest warriors alone. To die of disease or old age will never raise you to Valhalla. I was made to be the best. I am an Aryan woman who has been blessed with healthy, proud children - I am also a deadly warrior to all who seek to destroy my brethren, my heritage, my land, MY SPIRIT. Such a double edged sword, eh? To find such peace inside my soul - such perfect peace is found in the knowledge I WAS PUT HERE TO DEFEND - TO FIGHT - TO DIE! My forefathers and mothers, my kinsmen, my gods and godessess are beside me - in my battle. OUR battle. I hear often that I am a seriously crazy bitch. No fear of death or pain is my only explaination. My skein is tied, my future, my past are written. DO YOU UNDERSTAND??? In finding your soul's truth, you find LIFE'S TRUTH! YOUR TRUTH!

Yes. I believe the mixing of races will only achieve the extinction of many, many cultures. I believe YOUR VERY OWN hatred of me - or is it fear? - is the result of too much television, too much yellow journalism and too much UNWILLINGNESS TO DO YOUR OWN THINKING! TV says what's cool to own or wear - your newscaster of choice tells you what is important - or what they want you to know - even your god damned preacher tells you what "god" is really telling you in the book that YOU WERE TO INTERPRET! (Anyone read the bible? for real? yeah. right.)
Yes, I am a snob. Self-righteous, arrogant and opinionated. But GOD DAMN IT! NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON EVER TOLD ME WHAT I KNOW AND BELIEVE. I listened. I studied. I mused. I agonized. HAVE YOU?
Is there yet a single person here who will admit what is truly going on in their heads or hearts. Blah, blah, blah. YOUR SPOUTING OF THE CURRENT PARTY LINE IS SICKENING AND INSULTING TO ANYONE WHO PARTICIPATED IN THE MAKING OF TABOO WITH THE HOPES OF MAKING A DIFFERENCE! I answered my questions with complete honesty so ANYONE WHO LISTENED would understand who and what white racialists live and believe. My son, who is not a national socialist, provided insight into what it's really like growing up in a racially aware and active household.

WHAT DID YOU CONTRIBUTE? PLEASE.

TELL ME.

THE TRUTH.

If we do it right, maybe Abbe - and the world - will move from darkness, and fear into a place where we can all walk proud and do I dare dream) be who we are, able to celebrate our heritage freely - no matter where our bloodline began!
Damn it.
Obliterating any of this earth's cultures YES! I said ANY! - would be such a loss to all who follow.
How can you not feel my need to fight. Where is your pride in your forefathers and their history?
Damn it.
Am I speaking another dialect or is there just no one out there who really has the balls to listen to me?
I hope neither is true.
denise1488@yahoo.com
justdenise1488 on AIM

Thank you.

Been too long since I've debated, clarified or stirred up the self-righteous anger around here, eh? Truth is, even an old byrd like me can find new and wondrous things this world has to offer. NO!! My views/opinions regarding racial mixing have not changed in any way. I still firmly believe we are all made the way we are, to add what it is we are to add and that the generations of careful, educated and intentional breeding by our forefathers is something too PRECIOUS AND TOO "FORGOTTEN" in our current state of fear - excuse me - POLITICAL CORRECTNESS.
What has changed - as I'm sure you're all ANXIOUS to know is my faith. Powerful, life-changing, soul reviving faith in gods and godesses the Roman Empire and it's instrument of terror - christianity - very nearly made extinct. As a devout Christian my entire adult life - as an avid and obsessed researcher of the new testiment and "christ," having the truth - MY TRUTH - shown to me in ways I could not deny - well, for those who have found their religion/spirituality - you know the impact and confusion I first experienced! For those still seeking - KEEP SEEKING! Until you can say "none of it makes sense to me" and believe those words, live that statement with all you are - SEEK! READ! LISTEN! LEARN!
 
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Below are some recent messages for reference
Eric Parker 32

May 03, 2006

Stigma not racism related

In his Letter to the Editor on Monday, Clinton McClure expresses his belief that the reason why there is a stigma attached to interracial dating in the black community is that blacks delude themselves into believing that all white people harbor prejudicial feelings toward blacks. This statement is completely off-the-mark. I, along with several of my black friends, would never date a white person and can assure you that it has nothing to do with believing these people are all racists. My preference is derived almost purely from a reflection of the culture of the place in which I was raised, and it is not merely a foolish belief that white people are all evil. It’s offensive for McClure to assert that black people who do not support interracial dating only do so because of a lack of understanding of the situation at hand.

McClure concludes his argument by stating that race is not the central issue to be debated when debating interracial dating, that it is gender wherein the heart of the problem lies. He says that black men feel “emasculated” because of the advances in professional fields that black women have made and asserts that if black men make the same advances, then they shall “fly right.” This is pure nonsense. I, as a black man, have never, nor shall I ever, see any advance attained by a black woman as emasculating and shall never use such a ridiculous excuse to date a white woman. Such advances are often celebrated in the black community and are rarely if ever seen as emasculating to black men. While it’s true that the genders are still not equal in social standing, this is not a valid reason to take the key issues of race and culture out of the interracial dating debate.

— Eric Parker,
Weinberg sophomore
Daily Northwestern

Crash’: Film exploits political and social disenfranchisement of women of color

FROM: <www.ourweekly.com>

Gender ‘Crash’

Film exploits political and social disenfranchisement of women of color.


While mainstream critics continue to foam at the mouth over the “verisimilitude” of Academy winner “Crash’s” racial politics, the film’s retrograde gender politics have been all but ignored.

“Crash’s testosterone-soaked L.A. is a parable of male redemption forged on the backs of women. By using the picture of a grief stricken black woman cowering in the arms of a white male policeman as the signature image for its newspaper ads, the subtext of “Crash’s” “provocative” charge rests in its exploitation of the political and social disenfranchisement of women of color.

The film’s centerpiece act of racial profiling hinges on the sexual violation of an African American woman (played by Thandie Newton) who then becomes a pawn in the movie’s male redemption sweepstakes. After Newton’s character is molested by Matt Dillon’s racist thug cop at a traffic stop, her plight is effectively eclipsed by her buppie husband’s inner struggle with his sense of alienation and emasculation as a white-identified black man.

The age-old dance between white men and black men for patriarchal control is hence waged over the body of a black woman-while the thug policeman gets to redeem and regain his sense of moral authority by rescuing the hapless black woman, the black producer legitimizes his manhood through a deadly verbal duel with the LAPD in a gratuitous attempt to show how “hard” he really is.

The display of black male “hardness” for the validating gaze of white male authority, set against the “backdrop” of the black woman’s body, is an all too familiar historical “mise-èn-scene.” A cornerstone of the antebellum plantation economy, degraded black female sexuality has not only become one of the most valuable commodities in pop culture but in the media’s eroticized fantasy of urban criminality. The assault of Newton’s upper crust buppie black woman is a not so subtle reminder that black women who aspire to the trappings of domesticated protected white middle class femininity are liable to be treated like just another “ghetto ho.” Yet the film’s retrograde images of passive Asian and Latina femininity also fit squarely into this paradigm of female serviceability and patriarchal control.

In “Crash’s” universe, a female El Salvadoran police detective beds her African American partner and becomes the ballast for his professional and personal travails, while her dilemma of being one of the few Latinas on a notoriously racist sexist police force goes unexplored: a “generic” Latina maid is strategically deployed to validate the bruised ego and self-pity of a racist rich white woman: and the wife of a Chinese smuggler is depicted as a shrill harpy who spews broken English at the scene of a fender bender she’s been involved in. This trio of portrayals bespeaks an L.A. in which women of color have zero political agency of their own. In this respect, the film’s lack of fully-realized female characters is not only a reflection of the overall bankruptcy of Hollywood gender representation but is yet another example of the assassination of the image of women of color in mainstream American society.

The egregiousness of these portrayals is particularly pronounced with regard to the film’s Asian characters. Both the Chinese female character and her husband provide “comic relief” for the voyeurism of non-Asian audiences who have been trained to view all Asians as de facto fresh off the boat others. Their narrative is tacked onto the movie as a coda with a twist that not only emphasizes the mendacity of the immigrant smuggling underworld but implicitly highlights how “out of tune” these old world figures are with core “American” values of freedom and democracy.

After he is hit by a pair of black male carjackers while standing at the door of his van, the Chinese male character is next shown much later in the film recovering from his injuries in a hospital as he is fawned over by his wife. Other than a reunion scene at the hospital, these characters’ screen time is flat and stereotypical. The lack of nuance given to the portrayal of the smuggler, coupled with the shrill incomprehensibility of his wife, effectively dehumanizes the two characters.

The “feminization” of Asians in general and Asian men in particular is a common thread in Western film and literature. Time and time again Asian men are vilified as inscrutable scheming purveyors of hierarchical backward cultures that are incompatible with Western modernity, while Asian women are stereotyped as coy lotus blossoms or sneaky dragon ladies who exist solely to reinforce the heroism and moral superiority of white male protagonists. In one of the most dubious images of the film, a woman who has just been “liberated” by the black male character who discovers her and the other smuggled immigrants in the back of the Chinese male character’s van gazes amazedly at the display of flashy goods in an electronic store.

Shot in the dreary night of an amorphous Los Angeles, the paradoxical implication of this scene is that whatever the barbarous circumstances that brought her to the U.S., this is the land of freedom, democracy, and capitalist plenty and anything is possible if you bootstrap.

Swallowed up into the maelstrom of the big bad city, she becomes yet another faceless voiceless prop in the film’s ethnic arsenal. The larger truth of how women like her have come to comprise the backbone of L.A.’s underground economy is a narrative to powerful for the film’s pat moral of phony redemption.



---------------------------------------
<http://blackeducator.blogspot.com>;

Race, Porn, and Interracial Relationships
http://www.rachelstavern.com/blog_comment....=263&m=2&y=2006&d=1

 
When I first started studying interracial relationships, I thought I may be able to use the internet to locate Black/White couples to participate in my study. I would use Google or Yahoo!, and type phrases like “interracial relationships” or “interracial marriage.” Much to my chagrin most of the results that came up were pornographic websites. The association between interracial relationships and “illicit sexual encounters” is commonly accepted in American popular culture. Fortunately, this has changed somewhat in recent years; currently, none of the top sites that come up in a Google or Yahoo! searches are porn. However, that doesn’t mean that phrases including “interracial” no longer lead to pornographic sites or that such relationships are no longer considered relationships that are primarily associated with sex.

Racial identities spawn new terminology

When Lamaas Bey is asked his race on a form or survey, he doesn't check the box that says "black" or "African-American," even though many people think that's what he is.

Instead, the 27-year-old Pittsburgh resident writes in the word "Asiatic," because, he says, "I'm going back to the cradle of civilization where the first people came from, which was the continent of Asia. The whole world at one time was connected, and it was called Asia."

Bey is only one of many people who have decided that calling themselves "black," "white" or "Asian" is no longer enough, given the kaleidoscopic possibilities of racial identity today.

James Landrith, the Virginia-based creator of the Web site Multiracial.com, says he's of "Melungeon" descent, which he describes as a mix of black, white and American Indians from the Appalachian region. Malcolm Jones, who lives in California, considers himself white, but is frequently mistaken as Latino or American Indian; as a child his Japanese mother and Swedish-American father jokingly called him "Swedenese."

On the Internet, to name just a few sites, Jamericanoutreach.com is a charity founded by Jamaican-American immigrants who refer to themselves as "Jamericans"; Nuyorican.org is a multicultural arts site with a focus on the "Nuyorican" community, defined by Wikipedia as "a blending of the phrases 'New York' and 'Puerto Rican' and refers to the members or culture of the Puerto Rican diaspora located in or around New York City."

If it seems that young people, especially, are choosing the multiracial label, there's a simple explanation why.

"Society is more diverse today than it was 20 or 30 years ago," says Terrell Jones, vice provost for educational equity at Penn State University, noting that between 5 percent to 10 percent of students in his classes define themselves as multiracial. That, in part, is because of the jump in the number of interracial marriages from 1 percent of the population to at least 5 percent since 1967, when the Supreme Court ruled anti-miscegenation laws unconstitutional.

Until 2000, the Census required people to check off only one box among several mutually exclusive racial categories - "black," "white," "Asian and Pacific Islander," "American Indian" and "other." Then, after strong lobbying by advocates for multiracial groups, that requirement was changed to allow people to check off as many boxes as they wanted.

Originally, those groups had wanted a box marked "multiracial," but that idea was strongly opposed by a variety of civil-rights groups, fearful of a dilution of political power that could affect the allocation of federal aid dollars, as well as law and voting-rights enforcement. Gary Flowers, then-director of the Lawyers Committee for Civil Rights Under the Law, compared such a box to "apartheid," arguing that it would dilute the strength of the black community, a position backed by the Hispanic group La Raza.

So, a compromise was reached: Census respondents could fill out as many boxes as they wished. Consequently, in 2004, the U.S. Census Bureau found that nearly half of all Americans who identified themselves as being members of more than one race - about 4.4 million in all - were under age 18.

There's other evidence that this move toward self-identification is generational.

A study by Maria Root, a Seattle-based clinical psychologist and author of "The Multiracial Experience," found that biracial people born before the civil-rights movement of the 1950s and 1960s tended to identify themselves as black, while those born during or after that period might identify as black, but also opted for the term "biracial." Moreover, 2004 Census data shows that those between ages 18 and 65 were five times as likely to describe themselves as members of more than one race than those over age 65.

Multiracial culture is all over the media - from the mixed-race cast of "Grey's Anatomy" to MTV to the Internet, where Swirlsyndicate.com sells "interracial kids' clothing" for "multi-culti cuties."

In January, a new documentary film "Chasing Daybreak," sought to highlight what it called "America's mixed-heritage baby boom," chronicling the "Generation MIX National Awareness Tour," in which five young people traveled across the United States in an RV to promote interracial harmony.

While there's a decidedly celebratory tone to media depictions of multiracial life, the reality is somewhat different on the ground. Being identified as neither a member of one major racial group nor another - or being persistently asked the question "What are you?" - can take an emotional toll, according to Ann Van Dyke, educational director for the Pennsylvania Human Relations Commission. Van Dyke travels to schools all over the state for the "Spirit" program, which seeks to address racial conflict among students.

"What we often see is the biracial students have all the problems that the other students of color have, but have a whole list of other problems as well, because they are biracial," she said.



(Distributed by Scripps Howard News Service, http://www.shns.com.)

Who cares who dates whom? I am a black woman who is not opposed to dating white men. People are people with the same goals, problems, and headaches. I don't care what society thinks, this is my life, and I will date whomever. I do not have a problem with white women dating black men. Its the personal choice of the man and the woman. I am offended when black men feel they must "justify" dating white women by putting black women down. No "justification" needed, just date whomever you want. A black man once told me I should not date white men because it was an affront to black men. He further stated that it was okay for black men to date white women because it offended white men so much, and that was the point. To offend white men and to repay white men for the ravages of slavery. Also, he stated that white men always had black women and there was nothing a black man could do about it if a white man wanted a black mans wife. He went on to say that black men dating white women were paying white men back. WHATEVER. Life is short, enjoy.

Spotting a few new trends at the multiplex

While watching the movie "Something New" - which is about a romance between a successful black female accounting executive and the white landscape architect who does her yard - several scenes struck me as completely false.

They're the ones where Kenya McQueen's black girlfriends mercilessly rib her and her boyfriend Brian Kelly about their interracial relationship. In one scene, a black female comic teases Kenya for bringing along her "night light" and for dating her "probation officer." But I doubt that this would ever have happened in real life. In my experience, when a black woman is dating a man she likes and who treats her right, her girlfriends could care less about his skin color. They're just thrilled to see her hooked up and happy.

  This is a movie, however, and I guess they wanted to add some dramatic tension to the story. But USA Today reported last week that the movie reflects a trend among young people who are in their teens to mid-20s. Thrown together with young people of all races in school, college and work, they are less hung up about race than previous generations, and are more likely to date and have friends of different races.

In the movie, Kenya and Brian appear to be in their early 30s. Their relationship is a refreshing change for a black woman like me, who's used to seeing movies in which black males are paired with white, Asian or Hispanic love interests, and where white male characters often have their Sandra Oh or Penelope Cruz interludes, but where one sees few black female characters having love interests across the color line.

The movie rings quite true on some points. In real life, Kenya would probably catch a lot of flak for having a relationship with Brian from the black men she knew, since black males have long dated interracially, while at the same time criticizing black females who do. That's exactly what happens in the movie. Kenya's black male friends have the most trouble with her relationship with Brian, and her brother, a playboy who changes his African-American girlfriends weekly, is horrified that his sister is "sleeping with the enemy." Kenya also gets a hard time from her very bourgeois mother, which I also found believable, because many middle-class black parents, like middle-class white parents, would prefer that their children date and marry within their own group.

Unlike those in the millennial generation, Kenya, despite her strong attraction to Brian, has trouble bridging the racial gap. But in the end, love and compatibility, and the support of Kenya's wise father, conquer race, and the two realize they're meant for each other.

The USA Today article quoted a black scholar worrying that the new colorblindness he sees among young people today could lead to a generation so unconcerned with the realities of racial prejudice that they will forget about the racial disparities that continue to exist. Having friends of other races doesn't necessarily lead to a lessening of negative attitudes toward other racial groups, because they see their own friends as exceptions to the stereotypes, he says.

There's some truth to that, but on the whole, I think that having diverse relationships leads to more understanding, not less. Ironically, the scholar's wife is white.

There's no danger in reaching for love and companionship where you find it, in trying to be a whole person, and not just a member of a racial group. In the movie, falling in love with Brian doesn't make Kenya lose any of her anger at being patronized by her white clients or over feeling she has to work twice as hard as her white colleagues to prove that she's competent. Quite the contrary. It's also interesting that Alfre Woodard, who plays Kenya's disapproving mother, has been happily married to a white guy for two decades.

If "Something New" reflects a trend toward people being able to move beyond race in their personal relationships, and away from preconceived notions about what they want, that's a good thing.
 
Copyright 2006, Newsday.

I look forward to seeing this movie especially since I am a black woman married to a white man.

I've also found it interesting to be out with my husband at a club and seeing the weird looks from the blackmen that were also involved in ir relationships while the black women would give me the thumbs up.

To those blackmales reading this.......you're not all that so get over yourselves.

Unlike most of you when I met my husband I was attracted to him not his color. He has a beautiful smile and a wonderful personality. He is definetly easy on the eyes and we have a lot in commom. We met while I was vacationing in Greece. We have been married for 10yrs. We are both in our thirtys.

So to those blackwomen reading this you should stop worrying about what other people will think and realize that there is nothing wrong with dating and marrying outside of your race now you should make sure that your religious are the same. This is where I believe people should be evenly yoked.

http://www.clarionledger.com/apps/pbcs.dll...2230320/1023/FEAT05

On TV, love is no longer color-coded

By Ann Oldenburg
USA Today

   Fast fact

According to the most recent Census, interracial marriages grew from less than 1 percent in 1970 to nearly 6 percent in 2000.

 
 
One of the sweetest scenes to unfold on recent television was the long-awaited reunion of Bernard, the scruffy old survivor from the tail section of the downed Lost plane, with his calm and loving wife, Rose.

Rose is black. Bernard is white.

And one of the spiciest relationships on TV right now is blossoming between feisty, attractive Grey's Anatomy doctors Cristina Yang (Sandra Oh), who is Asian, and Preston Burke (Isaiah Washington), who is black.

Interracial pairings suddenly are integral to several of today's top-rated TV shows, including Grey's, Lost, My Name Is Earl and ER.

But these on-screen pairings no longer draw the kind of attention and reaction they did in the '60s and '70s. Romances between people of different colors are being handled more offhandedly, with race being neither an issue nor much of a plot point.

"Honestly, we really don't even talk about it or consider that it's an interracial couple," ER executive producer David Zabel says of characters Neela Rasgotra, who is of Indian descent, when she married Michael Gallant, who is black.

Younger people today don't see the couple as different races, he says. "They don't draw those lines. Watch MTV, and you'll see videos with all kind of people interacting."

On Grey's Anatomy, the race difference between the lovers has not been addressed. Instead, other differences have been highlighted. Oh's character is messy; Washington's character is tidy. She's Jewish; he's not; he's spiritual; she's not.

The pairing stems from "casting whoever we thought was best for the part," says creator/executive producer Shonda Rimes.

Washington, who plays Dr. Burke, didn't want to talk about his character's romance, saying through his publicist that drawing attention to the races takes away from the fact that it's quietly and happily existing without being an issue.

His sentiment echoes that of Morgan Freeman, who said on Sunday's 60 Minutes that the whole idea of a month for black history is "ridiculous" because it separates black history from American history and is part of a labeling process that abets racism.

But does this reflect a real maturing of public opinion, or is it the view through Hollywood's rose-colored glasses?

"The reality is that interracial couples still deal with discrimination and hate," says Carmen Van Kerckhove, co-director of New Demographic, a diversity training company. "It's a positive thing that we're seeing less of a tragic element. Television models for us what we should think about people, really determines our taboos and what's acceptable. The more people see positive and normal representations, that will lessen the fear and taboo."

Although the television industry long has been accused of not casting and portraying enough actors and actresses of different races and ethnicities, Zabel says that has slowly been shifting, and ER has been a front-runner.

Mixed couples have been on at least since black Dr. Peter Benton (Eriq La Salle) and white Dr. Elizabeth Corday (Alex Kingston) were hot and heavy in the late 1990s. "This show has always tried to have a broad range of backgrounds — ethnic, religious and cultural backgrounds," Zabel says.

Parminder Nagra, who plays Neela, says it would be more of an issue if ER suddenly cast an Indian man for her to love. Her story line with Gallant works, she says.

"Why wouldn't these two people get together? They're very passionate about life and each other. On a bigger level, it gives people hope." And the romance, she says, sweeps viewers away, making them forget about race.

What will come later might be a story line that addresses race through family, Zabel says. That's where a clash may come as tradition is broken, and race will play a role.

"I knew certain people would look at it and go, 'An Indian girl is going out with this black guy.' "

But what they should notice is the passion, Nagra says. "It's important to have this on screen. There are so many mixed relationships. I don't think it's portrayed enough on television."

Racism is often reflected on television through hate crimes and other violent stories, Nagra says. "We know racism exists. Let's show people getting on. Let's be positive about it."

Mixed-race romances on television have never been plentiful, as the mass medium has been fearful of alienating viewers and advertisers.

In 1957, on Alan Freed's weekly rock 'n' roll show, black singer Frankie Lymon was seen dancing with a white woman. ABC promptly canceled the show.

On Star Trek, when Lt. Uhura and Capt. Kirk kissed (against their will) in 1968, it was heralded as the first interracial smooch on television. And when Norman Lear featured a black woman and a white man as married neighbors to 1975's The Jeffersons, it was considered groundbreaking.

Hi Abiola!

I'm french , so my english is not perfect...
I'm a 30 years old "white" french teacher.
Your documentary seems to be nearly finished, but if it's not too late, I can give you some key ideas or references about the black male/white female relationships to use for the audio commentary...(psychological perspective)

I- first, the blackmale/white female fantasy is a WORLWIDE fantasy:

For example, 2 years ago, on the arabian TV chanel "Al Jazira" , the "cheikh Al Qaradawi " had to respond in his tv show to a spectator from Oman, asking if the fantasy to share his wife with a blackman is tolerated by Quoran...(see Dr Khaled Mountasser El Aph (London) quoted in "Courrier International"(french newspaper),25 /09/2003, N° 673 ).

The same year (2003) in Italy, the cute white Top model Alessia Merz was everywhere in the press when she told it was well known that Blackmen are the best Lovers...

II-the Big Black Man : THE SYMBOL of nature and power

A-back to nature:

According to "Jungian" psychoanalysis, each white woman in the world dreams at least one time in her life about an impressive man in black or a blackman...
blackman symbolize the stereotype of nature, of authenticity , of freedom...
and in the modern society, women fantasize about this "back to nature" (see "Women Who Run with the Wolves", by Clarissa Pinkola,book )

B-white women take THE POWER (Self-Liberation, using blackmen)

- the famous (white) autor Nancy Friday did some studies about female sexuality and blackmen...
A crossed analysis of her theory showing female fantasies as A QUEST FOR SYMBOLIC POWER(women on top, 1991), and of the female talks about blackmen (My secret garden 1973-Women on top 1991) shows why some white girls fantasize about blacks:
The black lover is a way to have the power of the stronger "black phallus"(stereotype inherited by history, colonialism,slavery...), and to reject the oppressing white patriarchal society. The white woman symbolically destroys the "white power" society to become herself a keeper of the power .

This analysis joins the analysis of the 50's black intellectual philosopher and psychiatrist Frantz Fanon :
"The white wife finds the Negro to be "an intensely exciting sex partner because of his forbiddenness and because of the ease with which she can project onto him her own oedipal fantasies." [p 92, Wm H. Grier & Price M.
Hobbs]Frantz Fanon in his Black Skin White Masks (1952)"

So in psychology, the "black fantasy" is a way for the white girl to be "stronger than the father", to have the power...

III-To quieten white man's mind:

And for white guys, the fantasy to share their wives with blackmen (interracial dvds, swingers clubs) has the same origine, they use their "wives" to canalize and capture the symbolic strength of the blackman, it's a way to be secured about their own sexuality.

Wives master,pacify,mollify the menacing black phallus before the eyes of their complexed, anxious white men.The white girl kill the dragon (force of nature/black slave/big phallus) by herself in front of the scared white knight to reassure him(the dragon was too big for him, but no pb for her...).

The famous French psychoanalyst (white female)Joyce McDOUGALL shows the example of a white man called "Jalon"who had sex only whith girls traditionaly dating "exotic"men (blackmen, jewish men...), because being accepted by such girls was giving him the feeling to be a "real man", as them...(the female is the one who give, who transfer the power).(see "De la sexualité addictive", in "Psychiatrie Française,vol.22" N° Sp/sept.91: Les pratique psychiatriques contemporaines- 1991, ed.S.P.F.)

I hope these little elements can guide you in your search...
I can tell you much more about the subject if you want:

-more about psychological aspects
-more about interracial dating in France...
-I also have some interesting pics too about interracial issues

Truly yours,

David

http://www.nypress.com/print.cfm?content_id=14278
NY PRESS NEWSPAPER DECEMBER 6, 2005

Black skin is thick and lush, sensuous to the touch, like satin and velvet made flesh. There's only one patch of skin on a white man's body that remotely compares to nearly every inch of a black man's skin. The first time I caressed black skin, it felt like a luxury I shouldn't be able to afford. I craved it more strongly than Carrie Bradshaw craved Manolo Blahnik shoes. That phrase, "Once you go black, you never go back" is all about the feeling of the skin.

And I had the socially acceptable explanation for my craving. I used that paucity-of-available-white-partners rationale to explain my relationships with black men for several years. A white woman past forty is often passed over by her white-male contemporaries. She goes younger or ethnic or foreign-born or down the socioeconomic scale or darker or she spends lonely nights at home with her cats. Black men are happy to get the babe they couldn't have when she was twentysomething and fertile. The laws of the marketplace do prevail. It's not me, it's them—them being the white guys who weren't after me anymore, or so I claimed.

That's a lie. The truth is, I attract about the same percentage of available white men my age (and far younger!) now as I did when I was thirty—and that's not including the unavailable white men who want to play around anyway.

Enough white men want me that I was hardly facing enforced celibacy, but I don't want them. I want black men. They want me. We look at one another and exchange a visible frisson of sexual energy in the lingering glances. And our attraction is based first on race. We are not those couples who "happen to fall in love" with someone of a different race or more purposefully come together but out of some greater sense of interracial understanding and respect. Not as politically-correct men and women do we seek one another out. The Internet has made it a lot easier for us to find each other now. Men advertise: ebony seeks ivory. Women write: seeking tall, dark, and handsome. Very dark. We are not the same people who say: Race is not important. It is important to us. We have race-specific desires.

Even in a time when nearly 40 percent of single Americans have dated outside their race, that deliberate seeking of the specific other makes some people, especially black women, damned mad.

We are what they denigrate and castigate: white women and black men who choose one another because of our racial differences. They resent our taking their men. Black men are two and a half times more likely to marry a white woman than a black woman is to marry a white man. Black women can point to that statistic in justifying their wrath. But in truth, black sisters, we're after the sex, not the ring—and these guys aren't the marrying kind anyway.

Yes, the sex!

The woman who goes after black men is a variant of sex journalist Susie Bright's "white bitch in heat," a woman who puts sex first even though women aren't supposed to do that. According to one school of thought, white women turn to black men when their sex drives kick into higher gear and their social inhibitions recede into the rearview mirror. It's a "yes, baby, now I'm ready for you" reaction.

When we get to the "yes, baby" place, they know it, and they are ready and waiting for us. Black men have more energy, style and edge than white men. They know how to flirt, a nearly lost art among the rest of us. A black man is so damned sexy because he knows how to make a woman feel sexy.

Black men have something white guys don't have anymore: confidence in their masculinity, their sexuality. They clearly know they're men. White men appear to be waiting for the latest sociological research study to let them know if they are men or not. Yet black men are gentlemen, something else white men no longer are. They make me feel like a woman, both respected and desired. I can let go of my inhibitions, my need to control, when I am with them. How many white men can treat a woman like a lady and ravish her too?

I often felt in my White Period that only during heated sex does that little layer of air bubbles between me and the world pop and disappear, leaving me open to intimate connection. It takes a lot of friction for two white people to get that close. These black men, so alive with erotic electricity, cut through the bubbles with a touch, a caress, a kiss—and they free me—and I can truly touch them. I am like a pampered passenger in a Porsche with an expert driver at the wheel. I know I could suggest a route change, but I never really want to do that. On the other hand, the last time I had sex with a white man, we slogged along a bumpy road in a really old VW, the driver like the typical bumbling tv husband who would neither ask for nor accept the directions he badly needed.

My current lover, a handsome businessman, seduced me via eye contact at a neighborhood bar while I was eating burgers with a friend. Without saying a word, he paid the compliments, asked the questions with his expressive eyes. He didn't move over to sit beside me and ask if he could buy me a drink until he knew the time was right. Both soft-spoken and assertive, he has impeccable manners and charm. I was kissing him in a cab 30 minutes after that drink.

On another night in that same bar, a different black man, an artist, knelt and kissed my knees. I am sure there must be some black men who aren't good in bed. Personally, I have not experienced one who isn't. (True, I am not dating down the socioeconomic ladder, but I didn't do that when I dated white either, so the racial comparisons seem valid and fair.) They look better than white men, they touch and kiss and make love better than white men. Statistically, their penises are only a fraction of an inch bigger on average, but they seem bigger and harder.

White men over 40 have lost their waistlines and their zest for life—if they ever had it. They carry resentments, grudges and extra pounds in their basketball bellies. Perhaps a good part of that bloat is unhappiness. Even the thin ones look flabby somehow and deeply aggrieved. They nurse the smallest perceived slight longer than their double shots of Scotch. Surely our culture as much as biology turns them into softer, spongier, less-interesting versions of their youthful selves just at the point where women and black men and other minorities are emerging strong. Society overvalues the white man, leaving him angry and bitter when he realizes, around age 40, that he's not all that.

With the exception of some Italians, white men don't turn me on anymore. That admission puts me in the same category as the older man only interested primarily or exclusively in young women. While women my age scowl and frown at these aging, Upper West Side Boomers pushing strollers as the hand of the thin, blonde wife 20 years their junior rests lightly on their arm, I feel a kinship with the old goats. We are the same, me and that bald white guy, drawn to the exotic other, not caring that the object of our desire has no childhood memory of a Kennedy assassination or a typical WASP Sunday dinner of over-roasted beef, lumpy mashed potatoes and soggy vegetables.

Analyze the roots of attractions all you want—like scientists have done—and you won't come up with a perfect explanation for why we crave what we do. Desire rises from our depths and is gloriously oblivious to the good opinion of others. Yet until recently, I pretended that my lust was an equal-opportunity craving, because that seemed like the right thing to do.

Halfway through the first glass of wine in my last date with a white man, I realized that little clouds of sadness and self-pity were regularly fluffing off his psyche like the dust clouds kicked up by that dirt-smudged "Peanuts" character as he walks through Charlie Brown's life. This guy was at least mildly depressed, and I wanted to tell him to exercise, lose weight, trim the combover and get interested in something outside yourself. I would have walked out on him immediately, but he seemed to expect that. I couldn't deliver the blow to his ego proffered like the naked neck of a martyr to the ax. My Southern cousins would describe his general demeanor as a "hangdog air." Into the second glass of wine and glancing longingly at the exit, I wanted to hang that dog myself when he mentioned that his face was flushed—I hadn't noticed—because he'd taken a Viagra "just in case."

What did he think would entice me more: That he assumed sex was probable because I'm a sex journalist—or that he would need chemical help if sex did occur? I cannot even imagine a black man bungling an attempted seduction in such a sad way.

That was my last token white guy. I recently came out of my racial-preference closet and told my friends, "I love black men. I'm not attracted to white men over 40, and I'm not dating them anymore. Really, it's not them, it's me.

Nobody was surprised.

Volume 18, Issue 49

I'm a white man, and my favorite type of pornography involves black men with white women. At one time, I would spend hours every day downloading pictures and videos of this. I don't do this as much anymore (having taken my interracial viewing fetish as far as I could, I suppose).

The aesthetics of a white woman in the arms of a black man is very striking. A black woman with a white man, not as much. Although, I admit, I would probably date a black woman if I had the chance because of the excitement that the differences involve. White on black skin looks very nice.

I am not American, but I think that the reason why interracial sex is so controversial for some and exciting for others is that it strikes at the heart of biological competition.

A racist white man will see that black men are taking 'their' white women away. There are black women who complain that black men are being taken away by white women. Life is hard enough, and people will scapegoat the competition. That's a natural fact of life.

All racially segregated societies eventually mix together. The energy and intolerance to keep the races separated eventually wane. Witness Angient Egypt, Greece and Rome. The USA (and the West) are no different. It's the triumph of love (and hormones) over racism and ideology.

YOU'RE TAKING THE EASY WAY OUT....

Just looking at your movie poster, I can see that you are going to equate white male/Black female relationships to the revese Black male/white female relationship. Like most people who adress this issue, you want to promote the mythology that there is come controversy when a white man takes a Black lover. THERE IS NONE. He's a white man. It has ALWAYS been acceptable for the white man to do whatever he pleases. Strom Thurman, Thomas Jefforson, were among the many powerful men who covorter with Black women WITHOUT CONSEQUENCES.

No white man was ever convicted of raping a Black woman in America until the 1950s. No white man was ever lynched, burned or castrated for looking at a Black woman, smiling at a Black woman, or even raping a Black woman. Why? Because white males have power (political/economic). Those with power abuse those without. They intimidate and use fear and violence to protect themselves from the only thing they fear: losing said power.

The controversy only arises when Black men step into the Master's house and take that which he prizes most: the white woman. If you are to tell the truth of this tale, the taboo has always been that of the Black man with the white woman. Who has suffered? White men? Hardly. Who was tortured, mutilated, burned alive, castrated, and killed for crossing the color line? White men? NEVER.

Monster's Ball was a joke because it sought to establish the white man's dominance, not question it. You seem headed dow the same road, so I caution you.

White men having their way with Black women IS NOT TABOO, AND NEVER HAS BEEN...

I have ten cents to throw in.

I am sick of sociologists, scientists, and the like analyzing why my husband and I married, or any interracial couple for that matter. We are living the lives that we chose. My husband and I have familial support from both sides, and through five years of marriage and seven years of a relationship, have YET to experience pressure or hatred from external forces. If we ever do, we wouldn't care. We discuss the possibilities from time to time, but we refuse to waste precious time together wondering what other people think of us.

I didn't get into a relationship with my husband because of the size of his manhood. He didn't marry me because I am a trophy. He's African and I'm American (white/American Indian/Irish). We are both very hard-working, successful individuals, and oh.. we're Republicans!! Wait a minute, how did that happen? We don't live up to any stereotypes applied to our type of relationship, and we never will.

I feel sure most interracial couples are starting to feel the same way we do. Stop analyzing us. We are not lab rats. You cannot poke and prod at us. One more thing.. Statistics and polls? We have NEVER had questions asked of us regarding our relationship. Don't believe the numbers.

Well I am really looking forward to seeing the movie when it comes out. I am a white guy and my girlfriend is black. We have been dating for almost 2 years now. What makes us a little different is she is we both grew up in the same country in West Africa. She is a national and my parents were working there for a non-profit group. We met here in in Colorado, at school together.
Well we get a lot of stares and and some dirty comments from time to time. Not too often as I am 6'3 and 245 pounds! lol. Some of the black women at her campus gave her serious grief though and she wasn't invited to join that sorority. One time we were walking together downtown and when we walked past a bunch of black guys one of them said loudly how "wierd" we were. It's funny because my good friend is black and his girlfriend is white so whenever we all got out people really stare at us.
It all boils down to people have tons of issues and just hating anyone that is different than them or threatens thier view of what is normal in the world.
wow, what a ramble....
I wish I could do a documentary film sometime... i have a lot of ideas...

I am

Hello...
Good day!
Greetings from fernandos Hotel.
Ms. Leslie Lewis Sword,
We just received your Valentines Card "The Lewis Family Newsletter", we check it out your project at this website...
you look great and also your friend.
Wish more success in life...
Hope you visit us in Sorsogon City.

More Power...God Bless!

Sincerely Yours,
Employees of Fernandos Hotel

I have read through all of these messages and there seems to be some common threads here. First, that both races must HAVE A REASON to have chosen outside of their own. Like a mental illness or issues! And second, that because those of you who have chosen to live this life with a partner outside of your race, that we should be so inspired by the courage and fortitude it takes to keep it together! Jesus! Give me a break, please. It sounds to me that the "sympathetic" souls who have braved bi-racial relationships are the ones with issues - like the need to be the martyr, maybe? Every single relationship on earth is hard! Not just husbands and wives - children, friends, neighbors! They are all difficult and it takes a lot of work for success to be had. You don't have the market cornered because you chose outside of your race! You would have the same issues with any mate! OH! But people stare at you! Damn. That does suck, huh? I get the feeling that the attention is what fueled the relationships to start with! And Taboo is the perfect choice for a title, because that's what attracts most white women to black men. It's bad! Which brings me to the 'REASONS' it happens. We will never be able to get every answer on that one. And again, all relationships start for a reason - not just bi-racial ones! Ask ANYONE about their childhood and they will tell you something about how it sucked. These issues determine every choice we make in life. 50 bi-racial couples will have 50 different sets of 'issues.' Maybe you all should just accept that as humans, we are drawn to the dark side, the bad boys, the TABOO. And isn't it just that much better when you can put yourself up on that pedestal so others can remark on your strength and commitment. Well, you won't find any sympathy or praise or understanding here. Thank God I was blessed with the ability to appreciate and honor the truth. Everyone here knows there's loads of SHIT flying around in here but no one else would say it because...hmmmmm. what was it again? OH! YEAH! That's just not right! That's not what we're told to do on our televisions! We are told to love and accept one another because WE ARE ALL THE SAME! RIGHT? HA! If anyone believed that, race-mixing wouldn't even be something worth mentioning! There would be no need to find the whys! No need to document the struggle of the bi-racial family! Won't at least ONE of you admit that I am right?!
There is only one difference between me and the contributors to this board - I am not afraid to say what is on my mind, I have no problem stating the obvious and I will never portray myself as anything other than what I am. I will always call it as I see it - even when revealing my own mistakes. I don't need anyone to tell me how to think or feel or what to do and I most certainly would never do anything at all so people would like me. I think there is only one message on this board that even remotely addressed a real issue. As I stated to Abby - I mostly see butt-lickers saying what they hope will impress. I happen to know that what would really impress Abby is honesty and meaningful debate so the topic of race mixing is no longer so powerful.
Yes. I have just issued a challenge.
Captain Denise Martin
NATIONAL SOCIALIST SKINHEAD FRONT
http://www.nssf-frauenschaft.com/

Hello Abby!
I stumbled upon yet another place for us to debate/opine! You are amazing! It appears, though, that all the responses are sympathetic to race mixing. There is little discussion and much "Abby Stroking" going on! Time to feel some heat on these boards and you know I am only too happy to help you out! You gave me a precious opportunity when you included me in Taboo. Representing my brethren and showing that we are not who most think we are was an honor. You have dared to show what the common media will never admit - and for that I respect you. Not something I've ever said to (OR FELT FOR!) a person of color.
So, to thank you just a little, I will provide some alternate views here in the hopes you find the answers you seek.
Captain Denise Martin
NATIONAL SOCIALIST SKINHEAD FRONT
http://www.nssf-frauenschaft.com/

Sir,
Thank you for your e-mail and your encouragement. I went to your website, and
your project seems extremely interesting. I made my Masters thesis on
“Black-White couples’ experiences and representations in contemporary American
society,” and I examined how and why interracial couples still have to face
adversity and negative representations. I found out that social scientists still
theorize on what could induce Blacks and Whites to have intimate relations.
Their theories abound, and many of them vary according to the race–gender
combination of the couple:

1) Black partners’ motivations:
-Self-hatred
-They are fighting against society (theory applied to Black men)
-They are taking revenge for slavery (theory applied to Black men)
-Forbidden fruit complex (theory applied to Black men)
-Trophy wives (theory applied to Black men)
-Hypogamy theory (theory applied to Black man-White woman couples)

2) White partners’ motivations:
-They are fighting against their parents
-They are looking for adventure, exotic sensations, and they try to escape
banality
-Sexual motivation
-Denial of their homosexuality (theory applied to White women)
-Low self-esteem (theory applied to White women)

The list is so long that it is better to stop here. As you can see, most of
these theories are applied to Black man-White woman couples. This pattern is
linked to the American racial caste system and slavery.
Many of these theories are popularized by the media (press, TV and cinema).
Thus, a lot of people still assimilate them, and they misconstrue interracial
couples’ motivations. Systematically the importance of love is denied. This is
why your work is so important. We need to challenge the stereotypical
representations of these couples, for some of them clearly express that these
representations had a negative impact on their inner-life.
I am currently working on my Ph. D dissertation. This time I chose to study the
experiences and representations of interracial couples and biracial children in
the 1960s.
For the study of the representations of interracial couples and biracial
children, I try to examine the way stereotypes were transmitted to the American
population, and their repercussions on interracial couples and biracial children.
As for the experiences of interracial couples and biracial children, I try to
analyze what consequences legislative (ban of the anti-miscegenation laws) and
social changes (integrationist movement, separatist movement, desegregation) had
on interracial families.
I am still in need of several completed questionnaires to obtain a
representative study. Thus, I would greatly appreciate it if you could forward
the letter below (this is the explanatory letter I usually send to people
willing to participate in the research project) to anyone who was involved in a
heterosexual black-white relationship during the 60s, or to Biracial people who
were born or grew up in the 60s. Please feel free to forward this letter to
friends who might know people fitting the criteria for this research, or to
forward it to various list serves.
Please do not hesitate to contact me if you have any questions. Since English is
not my native tongue, I am fully aware that I am not always clear.
Thank you for your help and time.
Réjane
----------------


Rejane Frick
Universite Paris XII - Val de Marne
Faculte de Lettres et de Sciences Humaines
61, avenue du General de Gaulle
94 010 Creteil cedex
France

Hello,
Good luck with your paper. I'd love to keep in touch with you as I am shooting
a documentary about American interracial romance: www.taboothemovie.com .
Best wishes,

abiola abrams
filmmaker
www.evesmagic.tv
ph: (212) 426.0056
fax: (212) 457.6133

Call for Participation in Research Project on Interracial Couples and Biracial Children in America in the 1960s

Dear Madam or Sir,

My name is Rejane Frick, and I am a French Ph. D. student majoring in American Studies at the University of Paris XII (France). My dissertation deals with the experiences and representations of African-American/White couples and Biracial people in America in the 1960s. This project is under the supervision of Dr. Michele Gibault, Professor of American History at the University of Paris XII.

This study investigates whether legislative and social changes in the 60s had consequences on interracial families’ representations and way of life.
Therefore, personal testimonies are crucial for my research. Participants’ answers will be useful on a qualitative as well as on a quantitative level. The
reliability of this study depends on the amount of completed questionnaires it contains (minimum 100 questionnaires). The answers that participants will
provide will be essential to constitute its basic frame. The ultimate goal of this research project is not only to obtain my Ph. D, but also to question the
all-too-often stereotypical representations of African-American/White couples and Biracial children.

I am still in need of several completed questionnaires to obtain a representative study. Thus, I am looking for people who were involved in a heterosexual black-white relationship during the 60s. Likewise, I am trying to
collect the testimonies of people who were born or grew up in the 60s and whose biological parents identify themselves as Black and White respectively. If you fit the criteria for this research, and you are interested in completing one of the two questionnaires, you can access the questionnaire that fits your background by going to the following website: http://ridge13.free.fr/index.html
If you do not fit the criteria for this research, but you know someone who could complete one of the two questionnaires, I would greatly appreciate it if you
could forward this e-mail to him/her.

Please be assured that measures are taken to ensure participants’ anonymity. The website was created so that I won’t receive participants’ e-mail addresses.
Moreover, only pseudonyms will be used. If you or your friends have any questions, or would like to find out more about this research project, I can be
contacted at : rejanefrick@hotmail.fr

Thank you for your help.
Sincerely,

Rejane Frick

Edited by author 12-08-2004 09:46 AM
Viewers, please note that emails may be posted from those sent to us, unless expressly understood to be confidential, and emails here are also reposted from our yahoo board.

When I was younger it was a common sight to see the
pointy headed cowards in their robes and flags. I
feel sorry for the couple who had the crosses burned
on their lawns. Their so called hero Hitler saw
Americans as mongrels and of little value. I would
rather be a mongrel. My relatives fought and died to
make this country what it is, it may not be perfect
but I haven't found another country better. These types
of people are cowards.
-Mike Airis

Hello,
Want an honest opinion - here ya go.

Not trying to start a fight, only discussion - wanted to say that up front. You can call me what you want but you would be wrong. Stereotypes aren't just for minorities, you know.

So. America is the melting pot, right? ha. When our country was young - and up until the industrial revolution - communities and towns were made up of people sharing the same religion, race and goals. A mate was chosen by 1.) a woman who would bear many children to assist in the fields. 2.)A man's ability to provide for
his family. Once the industrial revolution occured, people were forced to move to cities. Cars gave them easy access to other communities. With this change, cultures were forced to live among one another and one of the results was race mixing. But, I'm getting off the subject. Since the beginning of our country, races have come here and thrived. Prospered! Even the poor, down-trodden
Jews! But negroes? Yes, they were brought here as slaves - but rather than seeing their freedom as a gift - the majority of this race has whined and bitched for over 100 damn years!!!! Our country has spoon fed this race opportunities. Shit! A black person in America only has to open his hand to have people tripping all over
themselves to help. The black community has not only failed to prosper, they have become a drain on our society. Even the Mexican illegals find work. How can a race fail so miserably in light of the "bend-0ver-backwards" attitude our bleeding heart liberals have
given.

Next time you hear of the poor couple who had a cross burned on their lawn by some ignorant white person, ask yourself what this couple/family is doing about it! Whining, bitching to the media or are they beginning a neighborhood watch so their neighborhood becomes safer? We all know the answer to that question, don't we.
Captain Denise Martin
Tucson, AZ

Abiola,
Oh gosh, Its so funny that you emailed because it happened again this weekend!!!

I was out with my sister, two girl friends and a white male friend. My male friend and I were walking through the club holding hands to get a drink and head were turning left and right. I actually had a Black man look at me and shake his head like he was disgusted... BUT he was in the middle of a flirty converstation with a White woman!! It's crazy. My friend noticed, which he always does and so he pulled me close like we were together and look at the guy like SO WHAT!!

It's amazing that there's such a double standard. Whew! Thanks for listening!
Tamica

Edited by author 12-08-2004 09:36 AM
Tamica,

Hello & thanks for your interest.

I might send a camera crew over to briefly interview you in Tuscon. Tell me more.

Best wishes,
Abiola
http://www.taboothemovie.com

Hi,

I happened upon your website from Craigslist and the movie sounds really interesting. I live in Tucson and I'm bewildered by the way that Black men can date White women and it's not a problem but if I'm out (I'm a Black woman) with a White man, heads turn. Can't wait to see the film.
 
-Tamica

Edited by author 12-08-2004 09:37 AM
Jen,

We will make a 2 hour film exploring primarily black/white heterosexual, interracial relationships. The question that we started with is: Why are black women least likely to date interracially, and then of course, we broadened our discussion. Because of the black/white racial dynamic in America, and the history behind this dynamic, we have chosen to focus our dialogue here. We are now shooting a short work sample for an interested network, and plan to finish shooting when funding is approved. I think that you've accessed our website: http://www.taboothemovie.com -- where you can read a bit more about what we are doing.

We plan to speak to everyone: scholars, families, everyday joes, people in the news, entertainers; exploring all points of view, stereotypes, assumptions, myths and realities. In other words, the good, the bad, the ugly, and the beautiful.

Our completed film will also touch, very briefly, on interracial relationships involving other races, biracial identity, and homosexual couples as well. However, in the brief work sample that we are currently shooting, these areas are not our focus.

Perhaps you or someone from your organization would be interested in being on our advisory board? At this stage, it involves no meetings, only dialogue primarily via email as we are doing here. Another opportunity would be for us
to interview someone from your organization on-camera on media representations of interracial love, or more likely, lack thereof. Depending on our conversation today, we could do this as early as tomorrow, as we have already
have an extensive shooting day planned, and it would be easy to add you, briefly, to the
schedule.

Jen, I look forward to hearing from you soon. Thanks for reaching out. It's funny how mistakes turn out to work-- my wonderfully enthusiastic intern was mistakenly posting "discussion group" information on your board, when the event that we are throwing is only a party for those seeking interracial romance. We had been trying to access interracial dating groups for an on-camera interview, but they are all closed to media exploration, so we have decided to throw our own. This is the info that she was attempting to post, erroneously, on your board, versus posting to interracial meet and greet groups, but I am pleased to be in contact with you.

Best wishes,
Abiola

Dear Leslie and Abiola,

 My name is Jen Chau and I'm the Executive Director of Swirl, Inc. I've been reading your messages on the Swirl listserv and wanted to see if the both of you would like to grab coffee or lunch sometime to talk about your film.

In addition to my responsibilities to Swirl, I'm Co-Director of Mixed Media Watch, a blog and grassroots coalition that works to promote more realistic, three-dimensional portrayals of mixed people, couples,
families and transracial adoptees in film, television, radio and print media.

Carmen Van Kerckhove, the other Co-Director of MMW, and I do a lot of writing about the way interracial couples are depicted in the media, and we'd love to learn more about your plans for the film, and share some of our thoughts about media representations with you.

Would you be up for a quick chat?

Thanks,

Jen

Jen Chau
Founder/Executive Director
Swirl, Inc.

swirl. http://www.swirlinc.org

Edited by author 12-08-2004 09:37 AM
Hey Barry,

Hello!

Thanks so much for your feedback, but you missed the entire point in using the word TABOO. It's the same reason that Harvard professor Randall Kennedy called his book the disgusting title NIGGER. In order for a movie, book or documentary to inspire, teach or share, it has to first draw an audience in the very crowded market place. You GRAB people then teach them what you want to teach them. The words "race mixing" disgust me as well, but it doesn't help us to work hard on showing all points of view and loving families if no one ever sees them. Unless you are able to buy or finance the rights to our film, which would be fabulous by the way, most of the networks out there would less rather purchase a film named "Love in Black & White." Believe me, that was my first title!

Is it ok for me to hold on to your email address? Might you be interested in being interviewed at some point?

Also, FYI, the ballroom dance lesson, then party will only be about 20 people, who especially feel that it isn't their style to go to these things-- especially b/c we aren't a dating service, so consider it! :)

Also, I think that the blackfamily has really disintegrated since the civil rights movement, so many people have children out of wedlock, sometimes unfortunately with multiple partners. Blended families are not new in these communities, and these women are expressing a yearning not to participate in a blended family. I suspect that perhaps they fear a "baby's mother" with high drama who may live in the shadow of the man they are seeking. However, that is just a guess.

Best wishes,
Abiola
http://www.evesmagic.tv

Hi Abiola,
 
I looked at your web site and was impressed. Unless I'm mistaken, we have similar views on the issue of inter-racial families and couples. I do, however, have one point of contention. It may still be a taboo to some people, but, I assure you, to those of us who are living in inter-racial families the subject is anything but "taboo". Using that word in the title of your documentary gives racist, narrow-minded views more credence than they deserve. Perhaps you should replace "taboo" with words like: "enlightenment, love and harmony".
 
Good luck with your film. I hope your inter-racial singles event is a big success. I'm sorry that it really isn't my style to go to events like that.
 
One question I have for your documentary: Why do so many personal ads from black women either express the strong preference for childless men or tout the ad writer's own childlessness or (usually) both? This is something I really don't understand.
 
sincerely,
Barry

TABOO: The Controversy of Black/White 'Race Mixing' in America is a documentary currently in production. We look forward to your feedback. It is our aim to show all sides of the discussion-- the good, bad, ugly and, of course, beautiful. Thank you for participating.