New month, so it's Comments migration time...
http://www.quicktopic.com/28/H/2kLydLYbL9WaB

I was going to ask if there wasn't a site like that, but for Mexico, then the possible implications of such a site made me reject politely the idea.

There could be one. But I probably shouldn't go looking for it; Pat wouldn't like me searching for another man, anyway.....

*sly look* But I could use back-ups in case the relationship falls through. He's a Bush supporter, anyway.

But seriously, if I'm going to look for a site like that, it'd just be for shits and giggles. ;)

(Yes, Bush-supporters and once-Kerry-supporters can live together in harmony, for 98% of the time. The OKS just has to remind the BS not to bring up politics so often, no matter how much he wants to know what she thinks about the subject.)

These wild boar have been goaded into extremely agressive!

marry a nice Canadian man..

I was going to ask if there wasn't a site like that, but for Mexico, then the possible implications of such a site made me reject politely the idea.

After being in the tropic for dang long (near 7 years) i quite love cold. i'm a polar bear.

Edited by author 11-30-2004 09:41 PM
I know, Mimi, it's DEPRESSING. Yet I still cling on to this pathetic, quivering thread of hope that measures only 2x14 microns. But at least the American military leaders will... oh, hell, they'd probably bomb Germany within a week.

I'd flee to another country to avoid living on the same soil as these sphincter-suckers, but I don't have the money.

But I could always marry a nice Canadian man that can take care of the immigration costs.

Thanks, Steve. RUB IT IN, why dontcha?
*wraps self up in fleece*

*sniff* I really miss Aussie summers.....

As for the German investigation Fistlekits linked:
It would be great if it were feasable. But no matter what internation law says, can you REALLY see America letting its military leaders be tried by Europeans, least of all GERMANS?
The answer will be the same as for the last 4 years..
America: "*F***CK YOU, WORLD!!****"

9_9

Edited by author 11-30-2004 08:01 PM
damn, flipflops in a camp ain't no good.


(yeah, i refresh here insanely. today work is mainly typing for customers, so i tend to get bored)

I have a funny story about shoe soles melting.

Several years ago me and a couple of mates went to Bathurst for the big race, the event lasts 4 days.
We had our camp setup on top of the mountain there with our tents arranged in a semicircle around a huge bonfire.
The bonfire was kept burning 24 hours a day, cause it gets cold up there.
One night, after consuming vast quantities of alchohol and other substances, everyone was sitting around the fire. We had scabbed up several sofas for our comfort.

Well one guy was sitting on his sofa with his feet pointing towards, sorry twoards, the fire. He was wearing steel capped work boots. Looking at his feet it was obvious the soles were melting.
Someone threw a full can of beer at him to wake him up, it worked extremely well. Anyway, as soon as he awoke he started dancing around like someone had set his feet on fire. He ripped off his shoes and went for a walk on the cold grass of the cap site while we all doubled after laughing.

The next morning when we awoke, he was looking for his shoes, they could not be found. Just then someone noticed a small D shapped piece of metal, then a second one. His shoes had completely melted, only the steel toe caps remained.

He was forced to wear flip-flops the rest of the camp and earned the nickname HotFoot.

Steve, you remind me of when i was growing in tropical mexico. once it hit 44C and i was in a bus with a metal floor. my cheapass shoes' soles melted.

Edited by author 11-30-2004 05:29 PM
Man it is HOT down here at the moment.
Yesterday topped out at 44C or 111F.
Today is supposed to be 39C or 102F.

I might just go cook some eggs on the front driveway.

Anyone got any ice they can send down here?

Melting.

Edit: lysdexia

Edited by author 11-30-2004 04:09 PM
Somebody pinch me! I must be dreaming!!

Wait! I'm at school... but I'm not naked. This mustn't be a dream, then!

Edited by author 11-30-2004 12:41 PM
I just started reading the Mecha Hedgedog (hee, hee) story, and.. I couldn't go past the first few parragraphs. what'd Davey's underage ex girlfriend write in the story, anyway?

Hm, don't think anyone else is gonna read it. Lessee, synopsis of story... Anyone who doesn't want to learn of the horrors in this fanTASTic piece may ignore the rest of this post.

Amy Rose chased down by Mecha Sonic, Mecha Sonic stops himself from taking advantage of her, suddenly bleeds from his eyes and relieves himself, hooded lady (who made MS's eyes bleed and involuntarily evacuate... urgh...) takes Amy away to Floating Island where Amy meets a lady named Wildfyre who's an uber-magical person (she can make antidotes in her bloodstream by eating poisonous stuff! And they give some of her blood to an ailing Espio! And the inter-species blood transfusion kills him! Well, no.). Meanwhile, Mecha Sonic's in jail, his girlfriend believes him when he says he didn't do it, Davey goes in there and acts like he's God's macho gift to Mobius, and Phenix (MS's girlfriend) says something really awesome to Davey:

"You listen to me, Kintobor. You are not going to treat him any differently than any other prisoner. You can practice your vigilante justice on the battlefield, but in Knothole we do things by the book!" she snarled.

I like Phenix! Who wants to bet that Davey had objections to this little line?

Anyway, some old program is still in MS (I guess he's a robot of some sort), Sally meets a character named Boing who talks by vibrating or something other... and actually crawls into MS's stomach to remove a program or something... ah, geez, I'm summarizing this thing and I'm getting sick of the goddamned story again.

All right, let's speed: MS on trial, Davey's persecutor, MS found guilty, going to be hanged, Amy comes back as soon as they're done hanging him. They take MS to a funeral pyre and make plans to burn him when it stops raining. Turns out MS is alive. He proposes to Phenix. THE EHHHNND!

A disturbing touch was MS giving Phenix a ring before his "execution." It was made from one of his quills. How keen! I hope when/if my boyfriend proposes to me, he takes a hunk of his skin and makes a ring out of it!

I shall leave you all with this little quote after Wildfyre makes Phenix an ORXBOT... or whatever... I didn't quite understand that part of the story:

"Surprise," Wildfyre smiled. "You should have no problems having children now. And I KNOW you will."

What? You KNOW that they'll have problems having children?

[deranged and shrieky]Don't do it! Don't *erk*

Eh, no worries. i first have to finish paying the Xbox.

I just started reading the Mecha Hedgedog (hee, hee) story, and.. I couldn't go past the first few parragraphs. what'd Davey's underage ex girlfriend write in the story, anyway?

The mere mention of "reproductive fluid" is enough to make one gag.
I'm assuming they're not talking about the caustic goo in Polaroid Instant camera film... or the foul-smelling stuff in mimeograph machines.

I'm SO getting one of the newer super small PS2. one day.
[deranged and shrieky]Don't do it! Don't *erk* [calm and robotlike] Yes, a new servant for the rolly, grabby master. Hurry. Sooner the better. Act now. All will serve The King of All Creation.

The soundtrack is pretty good, in as much as it's weird peppy J-Pop stuff that manages to NOT wear on your nerves during hours of compulsive play.

I read the entire story through and it's not as bad as I thought it would be.

It's worse. And the ending is... is "contrived" the word for it? No, it's "stupid." I'll go with "stupid."

But at least there's no rape. But a lot of gross stuff. The mere mention of "reproductive fluid" is enough to make one gag. And they say this story should be read only by those 15 years old or older. No one under the age of 120 should read this.

Bill: I forgot to mention that I loved the extension cord joke.

hehe, Ernst, glad you gots to know the madness that is Katamary. everyone's talking about it. what's the soundtrack like, i hear it's very impressive as well?

I'm SO getting one of the newer super small PS2. one day.

I was just given a mad game for the PS2, which has possibly the lamest graphics I've seen on the platform, but I can't stop playing! It's called Katamari Damancy, and you play a little green critter pushing a sticky ball, which picks up ANYTHING smaller than it. It starts at a size which menaces ants and small candies. When I left for work today, I had a 4.5 meter juggernaut capable of scooping up cows and phone booths (and children!). I am promised that eventually supertankers and baseball stadia can be assimilated. It's the J-Pop Borg Ball, in peppy pastel colours! WHEEE!

Fistle or anyone else: What was that commuterbarnacle ref to Gonty's "electricity-based Superman" story? Damned if Google can find that. And I sooo want to read it. "UP, UP and AWAaaayyyyyy..." as the extension cord unplugs.

I only heard about it and saw a few pics when it first came out. I have no idea how Superman came to acquire electric powers or the skin-tight blue bodysuit. Ugh.

Mecha Sonic Ech: I got so far as the asterix divider, and the rape doesn't take place. From the looks of it, Davey Crapett's going to be destroying the Sonic robot. Yay. Our hero.

Also, I now worship the god of Trumpy. It's not much different than not worshiping the god of Trumpy, except now there's wacky stop motion segments of my life.

"D'you know what playing is, Trumpy?"
Crow<Trumpy voice>: It's when I break you in half...

My very first MST3K and still one of my faves :)
"Delicious Kitty!"

I just stumbled across the strangest page, it is a story called Mecha Sonic X: The Dark Side by DVK and a couple of other people.

The really wierd thing is that the text cannot be read when the page loads, the backgound is a freaky hand holding the earth with the words "page not found" underneath.
You can highlight the text using your mouse to read it.

I have no real comment on the text itself, I started to read it and it looks it begins with a bizare robotic sonic rape, that's as far as I got.

Please do not read it if this sort of thing offends you, I know it offends me.

I just found this really really bizare, it looks like they are trying to hide this pile of putrid text. Why not just delete it and be done with it.

Fistle or anyone else: What was that commuterbarnacle ref to Gonty's "electricity-based Superman" story? Damned if Google can find that. And I sooo want to read it. "UP, UP and AWAaaayyyyyy..." as the extension cord unplugs.

Rabbit:
"You're stupid minds! Stupid! STUPID!"
"That's all I'm takin' from you!" *punch*
Only the best dialogue EVAH.

Uh-oh, Byron's on the keyboard again...Better send now.

I finally saw Plan 9 From Outer Space today. It was everything I had thought it would be. The beginning made me think of Bill, since he uses that quote sometimes.

We also watched MST3k: Pod People. I giggled when they mentioned "Faster Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" Also, I now worship the god of Trumpy. It's not much different than not worshiping the god of Trumpy, except now there's wacky stop motion segments of my life. It's kind of cool.

Edited by author 11-29-2004 10:10 PM
More Gontie shit. I'm greatly nuts for Gonterman! No, that needs work...

I just happened along the Gonterman Shrine, wanting to read some of the text-based stories that I hadn't read in a long time. This day's happy fun-time hour read is The Kissing Contest. And here's a nice gem:

The 'S&M Alert' lights up in Jasmine's brain. It's Pocahontas' Native American lifestyle and the incident she had with Madonna that had given Disney's Indian Princess a reputation of being into stuff shown in that 'Human Nature' video in certain circles, even though she's really not that deep into it and Disney prefers' not to delve into their characters' sex lives. She changes the subject.

Whaaaaaat?... I'm usually good at translating (some) Gonterism, but this just flew over my head.

And here's another:

Ariel: I'll give you a gold cover Blood and Metal #0,
autographed by David Gonterman himself.

Hugo: How'd we know it's him?

Ariel: He signed it with his E-Mail address.

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!! You know, I found a "Storm the Castle" fic on one of 'em fangled alt.net.whatever boards a while back and saved it to my harddrive. As a matter of fact, I wonder if I can still find it?...

By the way, how's the tepid mouse not-porn coming along? Any red-hot staring action going on yet? Oh, can't forget Tardles, Vixen, and the litter box...

EDIT: Argh, nevermind, Commuterbarnacle has it. Can't believe I missed that link!

I know.. after reading a bit more of the runner stories, i wound up diggin' them, hehe. and i was just surprised when i found them. heh.

Zef, thanks for the muttcats site! I know, I'm just a sucker for anything that loves the kitties.

(Sorry, not feeling especially creative--I think that's my old AOL profile pseudonym.)

Oh, man...I thought I had learned my lesson about never going to pet memorial pages a few months back, when Karen turned around and asked why my eyes were filled with tears when I was supposed to be doing Excel exercises. Just my luck, too, to read the one about Morris, the **orange tabby.** Like I think I said before, every time I see that commercial with the stripey orange kitten, it always reminds me of my Tboy and is guaranteed to make me go all teary.

(For visual documentation, you can head on over to the 'The Chilluns--Juvenilia' album at my Webshots page: http://community.webshots.com/user/nikolais_lilly) Just be warned--there are a LOT of pictures there, so please accept my content-heavy retroactive apologies. Mucho inspirational props to Ernst & his faboo Korea pages, in any case, though I haven't finished scanning/uploading everything yet. (Dear Gord, no--there's MORE?)

In any case, the two big bloody scratches on my knees from this morning--courtesy of Sophie's alarmed response to noisy leaf blowers outside--don't hurt at all after
reading a few of those tributes. I'm just glad I have her around, regardless of whatever injuries ensue.

(Checks the fridge)...Both can be arranged.

Be still my heart! Hey, I used to get paid for proofreading, so I'd be more than happy to donate said services! :) Still, I'll have to consider collage'ing after your suggestion, Bill...

I'm still in on the Great Project too, I've just been too busy and tired lately to post. I'll take page two if no one else wants it.

I looked through that site and read some of the most tear-jerking poems and stories I'd ever come across. "Letting Go" describes everything I'd been thinking about Pepper from time to time these days. She's doing well, but I fear for the day when I might have to make that decision...

Reading the Runner stories is an uplifting experience, though. Sure to bring a smile.

Flushed with success, Runner sat back and licked her paws. Eyes looking around, seeking applause..........huh? Finding none there, herself alone, she haughtily marched herself off to tell someone about her feat. Stupid human, (they make lousy pets), it actually thought Runner was talking about feet! Can't even speak meowese, these pets.

Somehow i had never thought this existed. there's cat fiction out there. i guess it's not that strange..

http://muttcats.com/fiction/bluejay.htm

Bill: Really, I'm holding off on Phrack Whoring the comic. If there are pages left over at the end, I might toss in one or two frames, but for the most part, I will abstain.
I think Fistlekits and Zef do a better job, anyway ;)

I find the whole 'mmmm... fursuit.. soft and warm....*Homer shudder noise*' a bit creepy.
Davey has clearly played out this scenario in his head on many many lonely nights. It's almost like a Symbiotic fursuit brings out a kind of mothering instinct. A very..reverse Oedipal one...O_o

I feel the perfectionist instinct, too, believe me. But.. it's a GONTERMAN parody! You are dumbing down a significant talent.. does 'perfection' even enter the argument? ;)
What Bill said - it helps the gag if, despite best efforts, actual talent still shines through ;)

That's the conclusion I came to. Hey, I might even feel better about myself as an artist after I look at the finished product.

New Scarlet strip: I've seen better costumes made by amateur furries. (Not up close, but in pictures.) And I doubt that they went through the trouble to make the costumes have pulses.

Makes me wonder if Davey ever watched the Toy Story movies and wondered, "Wow, do Woody and Buzz have real body functions?"

Jim-kun pops the second most important question he'll ever ask.

The one before "Just how phracked in the head am I?"

So, Mimi, is you participating in the Great Project, or is you not?

I dig when he says 'all natural fibers'. i mean, if i was a living costume, i'd be ashamed to be made of poliester, i guess.

New Scarlet PI strip.

No mispellings that I can see in this one. He even got "amateur" right. Maybe he's got an editor now? Like, maybe his mom?

Edited by author 11-29-2004 12:23 AM
Fistlekits:... I feel the perfectionist instinct, too, believe me. But.. it's a GONTERMAN parody! You are dumbing down a significant talent.. does 'perfection' even enter the argument? ;)
What Bill said - it helps the gag if, despite best efforts, actual talent still shines through ;)

Updating on the Vixen-Adam HOT-CHATTING-ACTION thread - they are now discussing how they got their names. It's RIVETTING, lemme tell you...
One of Davey's last lines made me O_O, though...:
Vixen's fox pet Todd hops up on the bed as they're talking..
Adam chuckled and smiled at this as the three are close, and it appears that Todd was enjoying it the most.

Oh please Guord, don't let the PET get involved!...

What got me thinking.. would we do better if we were on meds/high like DVK?

Duuuuude! The mullet's talkin' to me!...

(Checks the fridge)...Both can be arranged.

fridge? psychotropical turkey? hallucinogenic salad?

What got me thinking.. would we do better if we were on meds/high like DVK?

As my friend, do you really want to condemn me to reading lots of Davey's atrocious art and even worse grammar/writing?

Of course not! We're not looking for verisimillitude. Find an old National Geographic with an article on foxes and a JCPenney catalog, then just paste 'em up in a way that follows the script.

Without any neurochemical intervention? Or without being paid?!

(Checks the fridge)...Both can be arranged.

Ah, back at the dorm with all my drawing supplies and scanner. Can't wait to get started on this project!

Lilly: That sucks you won't be joining us... but hey! You can be among our first beta readers! Isn't dat speshul?! Well, maybe not.

I'd rather have us e-mail the finished panels to Bill than post the links here, feel vastly inferior to other peoples' drawing skills, and make a mad dash to do "corrections." As a matter of fact, I believe that we gotta resist making corrections whatsoever to our work.

(You won't believe the battle I had with myself over the cover I did. I finally decided to leave it as it is. The desire to make every piece perfect... that is the curse of the artist.)

you could just make a collage if you wanted to.

Yeah, but you know, I'm really not into this whole comix thing (my longago Love and Rockets addiction notwithstanding--not the band, Los Bros Hernandez, yo!), so that would mean I'd have to do research. As my friend, do you really want to condemn me to reading lots of Davey's atrocious art and even worse grammar/writing? Without any neurochemical intervention? Or without being paid?!

Besides, I'm about to start going through the, "Will I or won't I?" of making vs. buying Xmas cards. Y'all have yer fun, I'll cheer from the sidelines. (Much to my infinite amusement & disbelief, I once got ?scouted?rushed? for the cheerleading squad at university, so I'll assume that makes me qualified enough to cheer & encourage you all forthwith.)

Edited by author 11-28-2004 07:15 PM
Well, no. "Very cool," but not "mandatory," Queen of the Clever Collages..

Hey, now, no pandering to my ego! That's no way to get me to the post office tomorrow! (Actually, I probably *will* mail your package tomorrow...though damn MST for ruining the term "package" for me! [As well as, "batch," "basket," "area"...great, now I have to go home and haul out my Crash of the Moons tape.])

Though speaking of...I basically agree with your semi-long-ago assertion (and Ernst's more-recent one) that the Sci-Fi Channel's eps of MST3K are insanely inferior to those from the Comedy Channel era, except for a few instances. I'll take The Mole People or Revenge of the Creature over The Wild, Wild World of Batwoman or The Incredible Melting Man (title?) any day. But that's just me.

Edit: For inspirational purposes, I've put the 2 images we've already seen on the page.

is this gonterman's 'inspiration' or normal, non stealy inspiration?

Bill beat me to the point seconds before, Lils. you could just make a collage if you wanted to.

What I get for forgetting to come up with today's pseudonym before I posted. Again, for emphasis--doh! (Did you guys know that when the Simpsons is dubbed into Spanish, Homer doesn't say that? I tried to explain to young Zef why it's funny, but had to attribute it to weird NorAm cultural peculiarities [which of course can be used to explain away absolutely anything]--anyone else care to take a swing at it?)

BTW, Mr. Spaz, those Russian photographs were awesome. I didn't have time to look at much, comme toujours, but it was especially fascinating to see what the environs close to Ekaterinberg looked like around the same time that the Romanovs spent their final months there. (Yes, I'm morbid as all get-out--like that's a news flash.)

"Do I hafta? Do I gots to?"

Well, no. "Very cool," but not "mandatory," Queen of the Clever Collages.

It'd be very cool if every one of you regular Comments readers makes even one drawing, artless or not.

Do I hafta? Do I gots to? Will there be a substantial penalty for early withdrawal, I mean, for abstaining? Do I not get to hang out with all you cool kids anymore?

An erect member, I am sure DVK knows what that feels like (with his right hand)!

From the little I've seen, plus the numerous comments herein, I'd have to concur his right hand is usually engaged elsewhere. Being a righty who draws with his left hand would explain a lot, wouldn't it? (Oh, but wait, that's supposed to stimulate brain function. Never mind.)

Edited by author 11-28-2004 07:18 PM
When I mentioned a long deadline for the pics, I meant the completed ones. Ernst is right; we'll need a set time for people to place dibs. Tuesday 12/7 sound good?

Here's the product, with the current dibs called. I'll update as we get more.
For submission of finished art, my email is thoughtviper # fastmail.fm. Use "phrack" in the subject line, please.
Edit: I didn't make it clear, but for dibs, you can just post them here so that everyone can see. That way, I won't get home from work and find that several people dibbed the same panel. (For the record, Mr Spaz has dibbed all of page 3)

Edit: For inspirational purposes, I've put the 2 images we've already seen on the page. All the others won't be published until the final product is released

Oddly enough, I was expecting that sentence to carry on: "...to wonder over to the water troff with and cool things down before anything too upsetting happens."

I add a vote to send panels to big for a big reveal. I would dispute the lack of continuity errors in the original canon; they're just disguised as inconsistency of art ;-) There should be some kind of very broad deadline for the real artists to stake their turf, just so the sick stick figure stickers can figure out what's available in time to hash something out for the overall deadline.

Mouse porn alert, davey is starting to get involved!

Check this out,

The source of Johnny's hot feeling, his erect member, was exposed for Susan to see and wonder over. By now he was as warm as she was, and the two were drawing in deep breaths in unision.


An erect member, I am sure DVK knows what that feels like (with his right hand)!

"wonder over", yeah wonder how she is going to sprinkle pepper on it and make it sneeze. YUCK, Gonter organ!

, and we stick-figurers will move in.

Hsst, men! as soon as the artists fall asleep, we go in and stick-figure the hell out of them! now, be quiet, they're goading a fanboy into wild fury!

I'm lazy too.

Edited by author 11-28-2004 01:28 AM
"I do hope that the artists leave a panel or two for us stick figure hacks."

I'm expecting plenty. I'm not sure where Mimi stands on the project, and it seems that Negaduck's passed on it.

Another question to TPW: When's the deadline for pics? I have no actual opinion on this. It's actually started at a bad time for everyone (the HOL-I-DAYS bum bum bum-BAAAHH!!) Springtime in North America is good for me, as I'm that lazy. But I'd like consensus on the final cut-off date. Otherwise, I suppose we'll just go by the rate of submitted pics. As they taper off, the deadline will move up, and we stick-figurers will move in.

edit: It'd be very cool if every one of you regular Comments readers makes even one drawing, artless or not. If you can't draw, cut up a magazine and do a collage. PhotoShop something. Ask your nieces and nephews to get out their Crayola 64s (no, wait, early Gonty exposure may scar them for life). And I'm sure that there's a lurker or 2 here who could also jump in...

I think that sending teh stuff to Bill would be awesome. Davey has yet to have continuity errors (that i know) but hell, as Steve says, we could get revision crazee and that wouldn't be so good.

I vote that we send each panel to Bill, I think the suprise at the end will be well worth it. If we do it the other way there may be too much temptation to revise after submission.
I do hope that the artists leave a panel or two for us stick figure hacks.

Edited by author 11-28-2004 12:29 AM
Question to Team Phrack Whore:

Should we post the individual panels here, or should they be sent to me? So that the finished project would be a surprise to everyone?
(Well, except me)
I'll bow to the will of the majority (no Diebold machines here!), but I think the latter would be more fun. Sure, it'll lead to insane continuity errors...but we are trying to recreate the Gontexperience, oui?

Zef: Yes! And not just worthy from its sheer Davey CREEPINESS! Davey + FoxAndroidSexBot = CAH-REEEPY!!

Dibs will be updated on the script as they're received:
http://www.thoughtviper.com/gontervault/phrack.htm
(edit: Starting tomorrow, of course. It's late)

Hey, some of us have always used dialup and only get to use DSL at their workplace. since it's freakin' $40 a month. (and to bother me more they're giving a FREE xbox live starter kit with signup, but i can't really signup right now, arrrgh.)

*siiiiigh* if i really have to say it, i want for now the 3rd panel of page twelve and the 1st and 2nd of page 13. did my scarlett prove worthy? ;)

Lousy dial-up... hope Dad gets DSL or cable soon.

But anyway, Zef: I used some Narrow Arial and Impact for the cover. That's the closest thing I have to Davey's common font, unfortunately. Ooo, I could always go by one of 'em font sites to see if they have anything close or the exact same thing.

Bill: You feel sorry for Davey sometimes? No kidding. There are times when I really want to risk reaching out to him and explain how the world really works (at least from a 22-year-old's perspective... which probably wouldn't be that helpful). But we all know that won't work. You just gotta sit back and maybe make a comic to deal with the Gonterrifying bile he pushes out at times.

Mouse Not-Porn: Psshh! Is that as erotic as it's going to get? Criminey... but at least it's not Mouseworx.

Dibs on Page Five, Second Panel.

Edited by author 11-27-2004 11:57 PM
I kinda doubt many panels would be left behind, there's lots of artists here. Mimic is on here. if you like Guillermo del Toro's work (directed Hellboy) it's an awesome movie.

Steve's poetic requests notwithstanding see? there's LEVELS of obsession ;)

man, I'm positively ecstatic/freaked out that Briz did something back and HELD the fem-mouse. soon there might be actual, terrible to watch ACTION. or not. you can tell it was hard for Davey to mention a dang bulge on pants.

Steve's poetic requests notwithstanding, since there's been no suggestions on the script, Sunday I'll post up the semi-definitive version. Semi, as the artists are allowed to tweak the dialogue to their own satisfaction (and add those idiotic Davey sound fx!)

Artists, start claiming your panels. We non-artists will stick-figure our way through the ones you leave behind.

Wow, I thought I was gonna be able to post here a few days ago, butg that tryptophan (spelling?) really did a number on me. Whee, turkey-induced comas are fun!

I shall browse the recent comments... and maybe log in. Hope everyone's having a good time, regardless whether you celebrate(d) Thanksgiving or not!

Hey Bill, you were asking about this, but I finally found out why my Urbandictionary entry never showed up. I forgot to activate it (I'd sent it to a different email addy).
Anyway, it's activated now, but I'll paste it here, anyway:
David Gonterman

    aka Daveykins Foxfire
    aka Adam Packbell
    aka Jim Goodlow
    aka Oh GOD Make him STOP!!(by others)
    The Self-Proclaimed Internet's Most Dangerous Cartoonist. His actual output is about as dangerous as a mini-fart that gets lost in the couch cushions.
    Known for his breathtaking egomania and arrogance, his inability to take any kind of criticism at all, and his baffling inability to show any sign of improvement despite entering his SEVENTH year of inflicting his comics on the Net.
    Notorious for his blatant self-inserts (and equal obliviousness to the fact that they suck), his wholesale plagiarism of any fandom he happens to like at any one time and his appalling spelling.
    See also gontermaniac

    "Johnny Briz" - Jonathan Brisby, a character ripped off from The Secret of Nimh and David's most treasured character (outside of himself). David is currently under the idiotic impression that Disney fans will embrace Johnny as a new Mickey Mouse. So far, the reaction has been tepid to cold.

You know, once those pants are down, that buldgerigar is going to fly off in search of better accomodation. ;-)

More Mouse Porn, I have underlined the most explicit parts. Nipples and buldges, oooh, it is SOOOO erotic I am getting a buldge of my own :()

DVK:
"Hmmmidunno," was all Johnny could say. But he was blushing beet red and drawing in breath. Sue can see him unbotton his collar and a buldge in his pants.

Sick Puppy:
Susan stepped back and removed her skirt revealing that it was the only thing she had been wearing. She began to undo his pants as she said, "I remembered a Festival that was held at this time of the year in the village I grew up in and one of the things that were done in it was males and females that cred for eachother mated. I want to celebrate the "Festival of Life and your the male I want to celebrate with." She then nibbled at a cheek ruff.

DVK:
Johnny smiled, gulped, and nodded, as his arms seemed to move on their own and held Sue as she undid his pants.

Sick Puppy:
Susan smiled as he held her. her nipple began to peek through her fur as she finished and slip his pants down.

If you find your life a bore,
Go and watch the gonty draw,
Come back here for your DVK links,
Make some comments on how his work stinks,
Come up with pictures and words galore,
Add them to Greenterman, you Phrack Whore!

Blib guh ma doog! *ahem* One assumes the Ashbey person helped out with proofreading. DVK must be made of degenerate matter to have so very much stuff in orbit around him.
Bartender (flashback filter): You know, some day a pile of professional entertainer/athletes will come bustin' in here, in character, to try and kill a non-entity comic doodler/marginal writer. I'm going to buy a gun... heck, TWO guns, so he'll have something to fight back with. Hmm. On reflection, this might help with the knife-wielding crack addict problem we've been having, too.

His belt buckle opened with a ding-dong, and a *large* Ginzuishou floated into his hands. Vince's jaw dropped.
Is that a sex scene? I don't even want to KNOW.

I can be a slight spoilsport and explain that. A Ginzuishou is a Sailormoon reference - it's SailorMoon's Mystical Silver Crystal, which she pulls out now and again to save the world.
It's still a ridiculous place to have it appear, though *lol*

Warning: This is *intended* to be a Self-Insertion Fic.


Haha. hee,hee. hee. heee heee. hehehe.

I'M NOT...OB--SESSEDDDDDDah!!!

http://www.geocities.com/hysterical_woman/gonterlain.html

Serial Experiment Lain as writted by the GonterMAN!

I'm not obsessed!!
Here's a Gonterman story!

http://svamcentral.org/svam/AAA/Interludes/Nitro1.txt

It's not one I've seen before. It involves wrestlers and is set right after NiTRO. At the end, there's the spectacular appearance of the ridiculous Space Blimp.

It's also my favorite Gonty story as it mentions Connecticut! Then DESTROYS Connecticut, as well as all of New England. About which one of Davey's sycophants says:

"Christ, David, I'm sorry. Even when things got their worst, Jamie never even wanted you *dead*."

Millions killed, but it's all about the Davey.

Fave part:

"So do I!!" Growled Star Mech in his electronically altered voice, as he put his hands in front of him. His belt buckle opened with a ding-dong, and a *large* Ginzuishou floated into his hands. Vince's jaw dropped.

Is that a sex scene? I don't even want to KNOW.

I become obsessed when I come here. Apart from that, I lead my life relatively Gont-free.
What can we say, he's a fascinating subject. But yes, I am certainly not about to make him the subject of a thesis ;)

Edited by author 11-26-2004 05:32 PM
C'mon. Let's not monkey around with denial. We're obsessed. But it's not clinical-- heck, I go for several hours a day without pondering Gontness. At least none of us have written semi-serious personality examinations like Jesus did.

MrSpaz - I wouldn't say we're OBSESSED (Hey, I didn't come up with the Gontercomic idea ;)). s'just that this is probably the only place that a Gonter-observer can discuss it with others. We are the Few, the Proud... and yeah, quite possibly the Few a Bit Nutzoid ;)

Of course, everyone knows bears carry concealed guns, Ernst. a rifle gets stuck on the underbrush and such.

Zow. If that had been a Russian site, I'd have suspected some kind of revisionist, "Hey, WE invented colour!" thing going on, but given the source, all it is is cool.

Not as cool as a bear with the dexterity to work a Winchester rifle, of course, but very very cool all the same.

I should mention that, here in a country with some rudimentary gun control laws, we don't yet have a lot of reports of ursine Beagle Boys climbing in back windows to devour gunless home-owners. And police torturing suspects is headline news, due to it's relative rarity.

Edited by author 11-26-2004 05:17 AM
It's not exactly Gonterrific (you people are bordering on GROUPIES, btw. Well, some sort of band of anti-groupies I guess. Still, you're all obsessed :) ), but I find this terribly interesting and figured some people here might find it the same:

http://lcweb2.loc.gov/pp/prokhtml/prokabt.html

It's the Library of Congress' collection of a Russian photographer's catalog of images taken between 1905 and 1915. The interesting part is that this guy had devised a system for taking full-color photographs way back in the day. Some of the images are particularly stunning in clarity, color, and subject; especially when you consider the era. They've added many new images in 2004, so even if you've seen this before it might be worth checking out again.

I particularly like this collection. It provides an interesting perspective on things; for me it serves as a reminder of both things lost forever and things that will probably never change. Some of the photos look like they could have been taken last week, but I know that they're nearing 100 years old.

Anyways, have a look if you care. It's kinda tricky to find the images. The best path is to click "Background and Scope", then select a collection by LOT number, then finally click the link that says "Find any online catalog records..." This should produce a thumbnail collection you can browse through.

PS: The best versions of most images are the "Digital renderings from glass negatives" under "Additional Versions." These are the ones where they lined up the images on the computer after scanning.

Anyone wanna bet that in the next Livewire, Nitwit's cosplay uniform turns out be...Tinkerbell?

I'm just still amazed that he's really using that 'internet search cures faeries' thing. also, we can discern the one with the litterbox fetish was solely Davey..

If there was a drinking game based on "take a shot whenever Davey or Marcie change tenses in the same sentence"...I would've had alcohol poisoning by the second paragraph.

Man, where did this "Peter Pan" thing suddenly come from? (And I don't mean the "Peter Pan's peter" thing going on in his PG-rated sex forum) The pixie turned up in the STC RPG, but it's only since yesterday that Adam went from "coffee shop guy with a mouse sidekick" to "the incarnation of the Peter God."

I look forward to the upcoming Livewire Latte strips, when he abruptly retcons in all this Shinola with a snowshovel. Then maybe something will actually HAPPEN!

Edited by author 11-26-2004 12:30 AM
Boy.... things are hotting up on the Adam-Vixen thread. NOT!

Marcie:"Humph,Is that litter box is someones idea of a Joke? Adam your looking good these days" Vixen said turning her frown from the litter box to a grin. "Well I'd better unpack then." She open her bag and neatly put away her stuff.
Well at least SHE noticed that was a bizarre thing to have happen. Hoo yeah.... HOT UNPACKING ACTION!!!

Davey:"Apparantly someone confused Todd here for a cat," Adam said as he scritches the fox's head.
OOh, BAD backpedal, davey ;)

"Fortunately there's a protected back area here that's excellent for walks."

As Vixen unpacks, Adam hops on his bed and sat down on it indian-fashion. Vixen could see Adam hover about six inches off the bed before settling down. The way he sat, his pointed ears, and the attire he had on resembled a teenaged Peter Pan. To some people, he was.
No, David, just you. And this is in the Protected Forum WHY??

Marcie:"So how long have you had the Pan look going on?" She asked. Vixen had finihed unpacking and sat on the edge of her bed. Todd climb on and layed down beside her. She sat stroking Todd's head looking at Adam. She was think how the Pan look was a nice one for him.
Oh my... it's so steamy I can barely see. Seriously, are these two perfect for each other or what? :D
Oh no. Marcie asked him about himself. Everyone go to the john and get a snack, this could take a while...

Davey: Adam chuckled at the refrence. "Ever since I revived Firestorm. If you've seen 'Return to Neverland,' you'll know how pixies can get sick and die from blantant unbelief.
DOUBLE Grammar Crime? Paddlin' Time!

Well, I had the idea of using an internet search to cure 'Stormie." He taps his head. "Like so many ideas from my head, it would either work or be completely stupid
*Will not laugh... will not laugh....*

and blow up my home town, especially by hot wiring a device from Angelic Layer to one of my computers. Well, it worked, and Firestorm woke up in a huge ball of pixie dust. For a moment I thought that Vegas just got a new light. Instead I got a pixie that actually recognized me."

"It's not something I tell anyone, since not everyone would understand. But for a time in my life, some fifteen years plus, I was one of Peter Pan's Lost Boys. In 1995 I must've crashed landed somehow in Vegas--I don't know all the details, and lost my memories. I ended up getting adopted and going through puberty before I got some of them back with Firestorm, and with that came the elvish ears and the ability to fly."

He looked at Vixen, who showed a lot of interest in it.
Even if poor Marcie has no say in it by this point...

Adam just shrugged, "As I said, I live in Las Vegas, Nevada. I've seen wierder stuff in there. Being a {He makes quote marks with his fingers} 'Modern Day Peter Pan' is conservative compared to the stuff that happens and stays there. Besides, these ears usually go back to its non-pointed version in time. It's being in this cross-dimensional Disneyland that's making them pointy, no doubt."

He then looks back to Vixen, who is smiling at him. "I take it you like the look?"

Oh. Please. Praise him s'more, Marcie. Nothing makes a girl melt faster than hearing the blowhard talk about himself.

Oh, now i remembered, when i was doing the scarlett thingie, i thought, if we're making a Gonty-like comic, dont' we need the font he uses for dialog? does anybody know what one it is? (I think Fistlekits used it on her cover already?)

Edited by author 11-25-2004 11:35 PM
Well, when you desire the fairer sex for one thing and one thing only, you might end up doing the things Robotnik did at nights.

Eeeeeyoookay.... That's perfectly in line with the retarto-sex-bot interplay in SOL:Nitro-- ...,When you do get a little talkative, I'll just cram something in your mouth.... DVK-- Super sensitive guy or quivering lump of repression? YOU be the judge!

I can't believe I just reread that bugger to find the quote. Time for a pint of medicinal vodka.

(Edit: While rereading, a synapse closed-- Himself reminds me of a chap who used to hang around a local speculative fiction group, trying to convince us all to write works involving the sublime and perfect philosophy espoused by... Astroboy. This guy was in his late 50's. He also popped into the local Dutch consulate to see what surface mail postage from Canada to the US was on occasion.)

Man, it'd be great for Davey to NOT be 35 but maybe 16. it'd redeem him in a lot of ways.

"In the Gonternalysis, have you lot studied why he's 30+ and still has this attitude towards sex and stuff?"

The only part of his psychosexual history I've ever heard involved some sort of online romance with a girl half his age that ended when her parents found out about it. Of course, he turned it into some weird Sonic-themed text:

http://www.commuterbarnacle.com/gonterman/HONESTY.txt

"I dedicate this short episode to the parents of Emily Smith, who cared enough for their daughter to be concerned about her Cyberspace love life. A true sign of good parents."

Quote from the story:
DVK: "I consider sex to be a very difficult subject to discuss, to understand. It needs to be confronted, but with
extreme care, lest someone gets hurt. I say this from
experience, being in my mid-20s, and done my homework on such things."

I haven't seen anything to indicate that his "homework" has ever included "having sex." And his non-sexy nothing-happens adult RPs and his new "Retreat to Neverland" ideas, where he seems to want to regress to childhood...I don't get it. If something terrible had happened to him sexually, it'd be unlike him to not whine about it. It really seems like he's a shy kid just entering puberty with no idea what to do about it.
Except that he's not 14, he's 35.
There are times when I feel sorry for Davey.

"Now, Davey, you're old enough to know a few things about the sprites and the foxes. Sometimes a young man will feel like his trousers are getting much smaller when he's near a woman. At times like this, you must rush home and draw comics, or the sinful women may draw you into unspeakable perversions and you'll never be allowed to watch The Wonderful World of Disney again, because Mickey would know you were tainted by sin. You don't want to be tainted by sin, right, Daveykins?"
A 9 year old DVK shakes his head in a negative manner, trembling.
"That's right. Also, your doodle will drop off if any one else ever touches it. Now go to your closet and pray. Mommy loves you, even when you are near to becoming a sinful lusting monster."

In the Gonternalysis, have you lot studied why he's 30+ and still has this attitude towards sex and stuff? that's what i can't understand. didn't his mom ever talk to him about bees and birds and foxes?

"I can see this getting somewhere in... 100 posts"

Haha!

So, the point of him starting an "adults only dirty mouse stories" thread was--to NOT USE IT?
I really don't understand this guy.

Meanwhile, Johnny feels all warm and tugs at his collar.


I can see this getting somewhere in... 100 posts, maybe less. just like Livewire.

Tardles?

Well after the response to BBC it should almost me Dickless!
I agree Mimi, he is a completely lost cause when it comes to erotic RP. I think that even if you had FireStorm guide it in for him his response would still be,

Johnny just stood there, tugging at his collar.

Edited by author 11-25-2004 09:46 PM
"we have Slightly, Nibs, the Twins and Tootles (Cubby was made up by Disney)... What's a good Lost Boy name for Adam?"
 
Tardles?

What about that new kid from "Hook", that was leading the Boys in Peter's absence, wussisname... Repressio?

(Edit: Who'm I kidding? 'Tardles' is brilliant. I'm laughing again right now, typing this. Tardles, the boy known for his hideous feet and grim social skills. Heeheehee!)

Welp. That's it. I tried. Here is Davey's reply to Firestorm's attempts to heat things up...
(A Metal Gear-type [!] appears over my head.)

{I didn't know other players can crash the Adult-themed RPs!}

Meanwhile, Johnny feels all warm and tugs at his collar.


*head drops into open palm*. I give up. The man is a eunuch.
Um... how am I crashing if I'm role-playing as Firestorm? ;)

"we have Slightly, Nibs, the Twins and Tootles (Cubby was made up by Disney).. .What's a good Lost Boy name for Adam?"

Tardles?

"A older teenaged young man"

Nobody writes 'em like Davey. I surprised he didn't add "man of the male gender with a weiner, except when he's drawn with breasts."

Note the two beds. This is gonna be as sexy as an "I Love Lucy" episode.
I have no idea who "Vixen" is (a fox girl I assume), but isn't Adam...human? He's NOT talking about an anthropomorph using the litterbox here. Would you want to patronize a coffe shop where the counter help craps in boxes and scrapes sand over their doody? Is there a sign in the restroom saying "All Employess Must Wash Feet After Using"?

OK, I've mostly gotten over that litterbox deal....
Mimi, you're the very devil! Davey's going to have a time NOT consumating something now, isn't he? So either a graceless withdrawal by him, or we have to see what his imagination spews forth. DEVIL-WOMAN! ;-)

Edited by author 11-25-2004 06:53 PM
Because you'd have to question the dignity/intelligence/sanity of any 'anthromorph' who rathered a litterbox over a toilet, or the wide open field o.o I mean, when you're roleplaying, you often make your characters SMARTER than you are.

Edited by author 11-25-2004 05:54 PM
How about:
Gyubuhubububhuhuuhhhhhh... {sinks to floor, creeps bonelessly towards nearest exit, is pleased to find it's a woodchipper}

Because any anthropomorph is going to eschew the relative sanitation of a toilet which their anthropoid frame allows them to use, in favour of pooping in some dirt.
With a chum.
While engaged in a sex act.
I repeat my earlier inchoate statement.

(And a note from the Editor part of the offended psyche: "I noticed that litterbox was there for a reason." Of course you did, jackass. You had your eyes open. Perhaps you were looking for a different verb? Let's try "assumed". It fits better, and it lets me slip ASS into the comment.)

Gaaah, litterbox,

WTF. Jeez, I wake up and am greeted by this crap. That is much more than my brain can deal with.

I am gonna need a day to absorb this and hopefully come up with something more coherent than 'Gaaah'.

"I noticed that litterbox was there for a reason. They kinda prepared it for us two."

Woah, woah, woah. not only this'll be interspecies stuff, (and Davey actually INTERACTING with someone else in that sense) and he says "for us two"?? the world might not be ready for this.

Edited by author 11-25-2004 12:23 PM
Fresh piping hot undercover evil, comin' atcha. Happy Thanksgiving.
BBC starts a thread on Lost Boy Found. Tossing Davey a few *cough* "ideas".

O_O Ohmigod. ohmigod *giddy schoolgirl moment*. DAVEY has started a new hot Pr0n thread! Steve won't be up yet, so I'll have to post it...
Vixen and Adam, Using recent developments in STC..
..As well as in this pic (cue the pic Bill just mentioned).
Davie: When Vixen showed up at her assigned room in an hostel, she knew that it would be shared by someone. But as she went to the top floor where the more private rooms are, however, she wondered who the other person'll be.

She opened the door to her room to find a two bed hotel-style room, the other bed taken. There was a laptop connected to an internet port, and a radio playing music soft enough just to mask any outside noise.

She looked over to the bathroom and found the other occupant: A older teenaged young man with elvish ears, brushing his teeth and muttering somewhat. He had on an oversized t-shirt and pajama bottoms that resembled tights.

Marcie:Vixen stood looking at the boy. He reminder her of the Woodland elves who taught her how to speak to animals. "Hello, I'm Vixen your roommate."

Davey:The Elf turned around after spitting out the toothpaste, revealing himself as Adam. "Oh, hello, Vixen. So we're roomates." He smiles as he stepped out, moving closer to her for a moment. "I noticed that litterbox was there for a reason. They kinda prepared it for us two."

LITTERBOX??? This is a whole level of kink I have NEVER seen! >:D
As if Adam in Tights wasn't scarring an image enough.

Edit: BBC just added a new entry to the Johnny-Sue thread:
Up on the tv antenna nearby, a tiny spark flashed into Firestorm. She had been happily playing Halo 2 when she had detected heat. She was very sensitive to temp changes and she went to find out its source. It didn't take her long to trace the heat to the roof.

"Aw, how romantic!" Storm giggled, being careful to stay out of sight.
"And about time, too! I always thought Susy-Tee was kind of a snob.. real ice princess. How glad to see that I was wrong!"
He gaze drifted over to the other mouse
"As for Johnny-Bee... wow, he needs help. He looks like a little boy seeing his first PlayMouse. How long have these two been dating, now? "
She pondered as she watched them, Sue writhing in pent-up passion and Johnny just... watching.
"No. No no no, this won't do at all" Storm pouted. "C'mon Johnny, blushing isn't going to help her. I'll have to fix that with a little Fire-dust!"
Storm raised her hand and a tiny yellow flame ignited in her palm. Minute sparkles gathered from the air around it and melted into the flame, making it brighter and bigger. Storm kissed a finger on her other hand and blew a kiss into the flame. It turned a deep fiery red.
"One Libido Lighter, coming up!" she quipped.
Taking careful aim, she tossed it at Johnny's lower back. The flame danced on his vest for a second then sank into his body.

"Little fire for your loins there, Johnny-Bee!" Storm smiled and vanished, leaving the lovers towards the inevitable.

"What Adam [Pacbell of Baka Breakers] couldn't remember is that he was one of Peter Pan's Lost Boys in Neverland all this time."
Okay, so according to Pan canon, we have Slightly, Nibs, the Twins and Tootles (Cubby was made up by Disney).. so who was Adam?
He musta been the annoying little one whom the others were always desperately trying to lose. What's a good Lost Boy name for Adam? ;)

It's obvious that the Disney-made soundtrack in the 50s has been replaced by Disturbed. (I'll toss in Godsmack, a little bit of Creed, and of course the Top Gun Soundtrack.)

*pulls out shotgun, loads chamber*
Not even MODERN Disney would do THIS to old characters!
Bluth studios tried it with 'Rock-a-Doodle' and tanked.
This is just...*gag*....David. Stop. Please.

Shame Disney never got to complete its 'Chanticleer' movie. The Nine Old Men were really gung-ho on making it. The concept art looks like it would have been really good - very traditional and Classic Disney.

Edited by author 11-25-2004 01:37 AM
...And here's your Thanksgiving turkey:

In Adam's words, "I redefine the term 'Grow Up.'"

"What Adam [Pacbell of Baka Breakers] couldn't remember is that he was one of Peter Pan's Lost Boys in Neverland all this time."

Yeah, that makes sense. At least he wasn't one of Michael Jackson's boys from Neverland...

"Memories he slowly gets back as he finds an actual pixie--Firestorm by name--which he revives through a Google Search."

Clap if you believe in caching!

"Will Adam be a modern day Peter Pan? Not in a strict sence. He'll fly if he needs to, but prefers to drive a car or ride a motorcycle, and can pull off Anime and Wire Fu style moves, but you'd see him doing it wrearing a tie when he does it."

Will he also wrear his McDonalds' uniform? When he's doing it when he does it?

He mentions "the book." Yes, apparently this is the novel he wants to write.

I'm with Zef-- when I dabble in such things, I always look forward to the inking. "Yay! Now it looks 12% less sucky!"

I love inking. it allows me to correct mistakes! then again, i'm not a comic artist o.o

It looks to me like he couldn't figure out how to edit off the lines through the legs. afterall, it seems he did it all with pencil.
His attention to presentation is rudimentary at best. Geez, he thinks 'roughly colour in with pencil' is good enough.
Look, I hate inking as much as a lot of comic artists do, but it's a necessary evil. Comics look a LOT better inked. Some artists can get away with pure pencil work, but not many. And Davey is definitely not one of them.
/uppity spoilt Photoshop person ;)

where you'll be convinced I'm eating your eyeballs

I thought she was sicking on his nose.

It looks to me like he couldn't figure out how to edit off the lines through the legs. afterall, it seems he did it all with pencil.

edit: Wow. Sppeling is hard!

But that is the beauty of your script, for all we know there could be hundreds of unintentional speeling errors in it ;)

Edited by author 11-24-2004 09:13 AM
Either that or he's on some really good drugs.
"Y-you can talk?"
"Hell, no. You've got so much mescaline in your system, tho', the next thing I do is sprout a dozen legs and chase you into the bathroom, where you'll be convinced I'm eating your eyeballs"

edit: Wow. Sppeling is hard!

Edited by author 11-24-2004 03:15 AM
Davey left the lines-thru-the-legs in. And the hands that look like dead squid.

Did anyone else notice that Jim has turned albino, look at those eyes. Either that or he's on some really good drugs.

Edit for Speeling

Good work, Zef! Certainly better than--
http://snowflakestudios.keenspace.com/d/20041123.html
Yes, Davey left the lines-thru-the-legs in. And the hands that look like dead squid.

Zef: You and your... tablet... *fume fume pout*

Jus' kidding. Seriously, though, that's pretty dang close to Gontie! You even have the *shading*! (I might do a few panels where it's totally line art and a few others with shading, just to give it another nice inconsistency.)

FK could do all the art herself, really
Aw, g'wan! ;) It's a good idea that a few other artists are taking part in this; drawing too much in DVK-style could mar my original style. Besides, I dig seeing other imitations!

Zef, that's great, you have the style down! Love the woman waves and nipples ;)

I'm glad FK and Steve kinda dabbled in 'mature' matters, as it'll make this look less evil.

I can't believe the project isn't finished and i already made fan art for it! i guess it was easier than doing a panel. anyway, the supah abilities of female artists here (FK could do all the art herself, really) force me to improve a bit. this was done all on tablet! ;)

Anyway, i was thinking of this part:


SECOND PANEL
Interior, Todvid's room. Scarlett is looking into the closet. Todvid looks a little worried, but is holding the hat again. He's also regarding the sub-neck region of Scarlett.
TODVID: You think you staying here?!
SCARLETT: You've got a walk-in closet. That's planty of space for me, and I can hide from your Mom. Don't worry!
TODVID: (thinks) Well, maybe this will be okay...


And came up with THIS:

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v200/Zef...oshops/scarlett.gif

Hope it doesn't scar you/change your impression of me o.o

I think I'm glad that I stopped reading Daveykins a long time ago. The idea of someone with a furry "member" is making me twitch. And then think of the reproduction methods of single-celled organisms.

What I wanna do is pose as an innocuous 12-year-old who has a better grasp on the world than Davey does. Wonder how he'll react to having such a young person on board?... and how he'll feel about the adult board then... hmmm...

It's so tempting...

"Theat was harrible!" Susan said, disappointed that JB came too quickly. "You came too quickly, and I'm disappointid!"

With that, she gots up, and walked away, making sure to crush JB's face with a high hell in the process, and left him altogether, woman waves, breeeaaaaassssts, and all.

Good god. Okay, the more Davey balks on getting Johnny to make sweaty furry love to Sue, the more he demonstrates that he is in totally alien territory. I'm betting Foxstar just has Sue grab Johnny and do all the work his/herself.
This will be interesting. Is Davey truly clueless about first-person sex or is he just protective of Johnny? If the latter, why create the forum in the first place? What will Davey do if someone ELSE wrote Johnny playing hide-the-susage with Sue?

There is another entry in the Mouse Porn forum, to be honest it is not worth posting, so do not stress if you cannot access that forum.

Basic synopsis: DVK: JB just stands there.

Common man, use your balls! I am half tempted to post something along these lines,

Susan reached up and took his zipper between her teeth, slowing drawing open his trousers. She reached into his musky darkness and slowly withdrew his furry member.
Suddenly she started bobbing her head like a chicken on Meth!
JB moaned as his seed slowly slid down her throat and he collapsed in an exhausted and spent pile beside her!

"as far as the Gelded Hand (snrt!), I ain't the editor. It was suggested, 's good. Suggestion withdrawn? S'alright."

...And I'm not the writer. I wasn't protesting it, just pointing out who it came from. Since the guy's Davey's coauthor of mouse porn, it can stay in.

I just typed "coauthor of mouse porn," and it's not a non sequitur. What a world, that has such Daveys in it!

What about poor landlocked Ernst...
The "Palliser Triangle", named for the imperial surveyor who came out here well in advance of settlement, and declared it so much like a desert that no sensible government would let colonists set up here. Hockey...? I heer'd tell of it, onest. Is that geek quiz you're talking about the one with a percent rating, or the XP level-chart? Thanks to only being able to consider the past two years, I top out at 4th level (which, I guess, is pretty good for a guy who regularly... uh... thingy, you know, because of being married).

I join in the admiration of Fal-chan's beast, but let's be honest, there's damn few ugly cats.

On the "woman waves" thing-- I think it might be someone trying to be clever and not use the word "vibes". Not that it matters a lot.

Steve, Bill-- as far as the Gelded Hand (snrt!), I ain't the editor. It was suggested, 's good. Suggestion withdrawn? S'alright. As long as the movie remains true to my original vision... ;-)

(This page just wouldn't look the same to me anymore if it didn't have the ads for those capsules. I like the idea of them being geographically-oriented, as I guess that puts SteveM and I in the Pacific contingent, with Bill y otros in the Atlantic division. What about poor landlocked Ernst, though? Uhmmm, did that used to be the Wales or Campbell Conference?) ::now stopping semi-obscure hockey questions::

Fal-Chan, I discovered the InExOb around the same time and similarly swooned when first hearing from Bill--after I'd been able to assure him I wasn't just angling for a hookup, anyway. Cute kitty! Very similar to le frere de ma belle Sophie, especially with the white underneath (Sophie has it too--I always call it her 'creamy nougat filling').

I'm guessing that 'woman waves' is about as graphic as poor Davey can get without his head exploding. Though Zef, trust me--I've known some furries, and gone to some cons (something that got me pts. on that geek quiz!)--trust me, you mix the two together and...well, okay, maybe you just get a C.S.I. episode, pero mi querido, you don't wanna emotionally damage yourself for life that way. Let your family do all that for you instead. :)

Ernst, Bill is right with regards to the robotic arm line, it is not a true DVK moment as it did not come from his mouth/mind/hand. It just cracked me up at the time and I thought it would be a good addition, but after further contemplation I see it for the blasphemous garbage it really is. Even DVK is not that bad :)

Edited by author 11-23-2004 03:11 PM
"Welcome aboard, Fal-Chan! Feel free to link to any kitty pics/stories here!"

I feel strangely loved. The person who has been providing me with hours of entertainment since early 2000 when I first found a link to the InExOb has acknowledged my presence. Allow for a brief moment of swooning to follow.


What do you get when you cross gray, white, and crazy cats? (apologies if the link doesn't work, I suck at computing... though not as badly as Davey sucks at cartooning, thankfully)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v483/falconeyes/Imari01.jpg

Wow. I peek in and read two screens and my head explodes. You guys are good.

After all that Gonterology, I've got to go read something good by comparison. Like the DOOM comic.

"Now I'm radioactive! That can't be good!"

Man, science was a lot easier in the 17th century, when incoherencies like this were considered valid theoretical proofs.

Now they're called 'Conspiracy theory' ! Davey is in cahoots with Ed Wood's state to... TAKE OVER THE BUNNY INDUSTRY!

Edited by author 11-23-2004 10:03 AM
I smell a circularity developing! DVK's "Ed Wood-like" charm takes us to the possible tie in between fur-suits and angora sweaters (mmmm, nice!). Angora wools comes from bunny rabbits. The breeding habits of rabbits inspired Hefner's "bunny" costumes, WHICH appear on one of DVK's retarded sex-bots in SOL:NITRO. Another black hole of suckiness has appeared! I'm sure with a little effort we can cram Sailor Moon into it as well, since there's a rabbit connexion there (which I'm only barely aware of... something to do with the Moon Rabbit of Asian folklore, I believe).

Man, science was a lot easier in the 17th century, when incoherencies like this were considered valid theoretical proofs.

Ernst & Mimi:

That's not only an old PONG knock-off you see, but it's resting on another PONG knock-off. Which came with a light gun, a la the 1st Nintendo!
And I have a regulation PONG, too.

Yes, Mimi, that's a chainsaw. A toy one. From Hasbro's "Junior Leatherface" collection. (Not really, but I did get it in my Kay Bee days, as it just seemed weird that they'd make toy chainsaws)
It used to be wielded by Bill the Cat, but Byron likes to knock shit over. A lot.

Edited by author 11-23-2004 12:24 AM
I meant to say this earlier, so I'll say it now before it gets buried any further in the Daveylanche:

Welcome aboard, Fal-Chan! Feel free to link to any kitty pics/stories here!

Edited by author 11-23-2004 12:14 AM
So it was something Fur-related afterall? Angorasuit?

Ok, i was being patient and laying low, but the latino metaphorist is in da house! it prolly refers to the wavy profile of a woman, on the breast area there's a curve, then on the waist there's another curve, then the hip makes another curve. simple!

 ) <- breast area
( <- waist
 ) <- hips!


Now i'm insane.

I was making a ref to all the times in Scarlett 1.0 where a "Zoot" took off its head and kept talking.

Oh, yeah, that does happen... I can't believe I forgot one of the most horrifying traits of "Scarlet PI."

"Ed Wood never got the hots for Fursuits. maaaybe rubber stuff, but not fur."

You are so wrong!
ANGORA!!!

Edited by author 11-22-2004 11:32 PM
"it might be even creepier if we just had the drink poor out of her mouth. Imagine DVK-style people drinking from those bottles then..."

I was making a ref to all the times in Scarlett 1.0 where a "Zoot" took off its head and kept talking.

"Woman +3

632
OKAY THAT'S ME BYRON SAYING "HIII!" TO ALL YOU IN THE COPMMENT LAND!! I GET OFF THE KEYBORD AND GO FIGHT WITH WHITE CAT NOW!!!! BYYYYE!!!

Thank you, Mr Feet. Broke the wristrest off again.

"Woman waves"? I'm totally lost. My first thought (no, it really was) was Queen Elizabeth in a motorcade. *wave* to the peasants, *wave*!
Man, I'm not going to sleep tonight, pondering that one...If we ever figure it out, maybe it could be added to the script when Scarlett commes onbord.

edit: I think that this is the first time I've heard boobies refered to as "endowments."

Ed Wood never got the hots for Fursuits. maaaybe rubber stuff, but not fur.

Mimi and Steve: Thank you for satisfying my curiousity. :)

Woman waves? Like, in...the..ocean...ummm, I'm confused. And what's W doing there? I know Davey's a Bush fan and all...

Typical Davey, can't go all the way. He's still too stuck in his twelve year old mindset to really do anything other than innuendos. After reading Mouseworx, I'd have to say that's a good thing. It's part of his Ed Wood-ian, prepubescent charm.

Anyone noticed that Johnny had his sex change in mid-sentence?

So THAT's how he's going to sneak outta all the sex. or maybe she's aiming for HOT MOUSE LEZ ACTION!

Edited by author 11-22-2004 10:53 PM
'Woman waves'...

I think he means breeeeeassssssts. Or maybe hiiiipppsss. Or some odd Davey-ish special effect wave she's eminating. Damned if I know.

"Er, Sue." Johnny said as she stares at Susan and her chest, her woman waves making him blush. "I don't think those berries are normal."

Anyone noticed that Johnny had his sex change in mid-sentence?

Rats, and i was just figuring out how to get to a FurCon, all design drawings in hand and all.

How's Davey gonna wuss Johnny out of this one?

Making his hands detach.. to reveal robotcic kkomponents!

Zef: Criminey, you're right! Ah, but it was originally Bill's idea and I just modified it. So it's rightfully his...

... unless I beat him to copyrighting it the poor man's way! *goes off to print her message and seal it in an envelope which she'll soon mail to herself and put in a lock box*

Last time on the Hot Mouse action board:
"breeeeeassssssts!"
And now, this week's installment:
"Er, Sue." Johnny said as she stares at Susan and her chest, her woman waves making him blush. "I don't think those berries are normal."
(TOLD you Davey'd be too chicken to run with it! snerk. 'Woman waves'... Negs, Lily, you know what he's talking about?!)
She shakes her head and looks down at her chest and then at JB's reaction. W slightly she gives him a copy of his infamous grin and pops the second silver berry into her mought and eats it. "I remember seeing the silver berries being eatend by female who had barely noticable breasts and I have to admit I've wanted mine to be bigger now I can have that wish." She places his hands on her endowments and he could fell a vibration building in them then suddenly they began to swell in his hands and Susan was once again lost in the throws of the waves of pleasure they gave her.
WE HAVE FORCED FONDLING, CAPTAIN!!
How's Davey gonna wuss Johnny out of this one?

{i]Ah tell ya, Miz Poppins. America in 2004 is Just Plain Crazy."[/i]
Yeah, those crackers in Illinois, voting in a corker of a black senator like that...

And 'Song of the South' has not been banned at all, Davey. The NAACP called 'racist' and Disney are simply holding onto it until they figure out how to sell it despite its old stereotyping. There is absolutely nothing preventing Disney from releasing it except out of political correctness which is misguided, anyway (so Davey has THAT right, anyway). Disney have already released all their VERY non-PC war shorts, I reckon they'll get Leonard Maltin in again and release it as a Disney Treasure.
Judging from the drawing, it seems Davey has seen neither Song of the South OR Mary Poppins. 9_9
And if Marcie says 'pleased to meet you' once more, I'm gonna burn her Beanie Babies.

Rabbit : Can someone tell me what's going on in the restricted forum? I'm sure I don't want to know, but I'm an addict and I must get my fix.

DVK says:
"Er, Sue." Johnny said as she stares at Susan and her chest, her woman waves making him blush. "I don't think those berries are normal."

Sick Puppy says:
"She shakes her head and looks down at her chest and then at JB's reaction. W slightly she gives him a copy of his infamous grin and pops the second silver berry into her mought and eats it. "I remember seeing the silver berries being eatend by female who had barely noticable breasts and I have to admit I've wanted mine to be bigger now I can have that wish." She places his hands on her endowments and he could fell a vibration building in them then suddenly they began to swell in his hands and Susan was once again lost in the throws of the waves of pleasure they gave her."

Bill: Brilliant idea! Screaming Scarlet PI LiveWire Latte bottles! Even though the thought of screwing off her head (ugh) sounds creepy, it might be even creepier if we just had the drink poor out of her mouth. Imagine DVK-style people drinking from those bottles then...

Careful, FK. one furry might be lurking and soon you'd see this idea in reality, making the furry rich at FurCons.

I think the Mary Poopins (haha, I am funny) and voter fraud was refering to the fake Democratic voter registrations, where some guy was (I think) paid in crack cocaine to register people who didn't exist. One of whom was Mary Poppins. The neocons were all in a tizzy about it, apparently forgetting that anybody who showed up at the polls and said they were Mary Poppins or Mickey Mouse would be promptly laughed out. Not to mention all the dirty tricks the Republicans were pulling.

Can someone tell me what's going on in the restricted forum? I'm sure I don't want to know, but I'm an addict and I must get my fix.

Davey shouldn't be shot. He should be stripped naked, dragged through glass shards, bathed in lemon juice, sprinkled with salt, and forced to read MiSTed versions of his works until he breaks down bawling like the child he really is.

But shooting him would spare us having to go through all that, especially the naked part. And it'd be somewhat cleaner.

I'm surprised Davey didn't include fried chicken or some anti-Whitey bit in that priceless dialogue. I bet he'd just love "The Birth of a Nation."

As for the script, I'll take another glance at it and see what else I might suggest. (Did I already mention Todvid's robot arm?)

Bill: Brilliant idea! Screaming Scarlet PI LiveWire Latte bottles! Even though the thought of screwing off her head (ugh) sounds creepy, it might be even creepier if we just had the drink poor out of her mouth. Imagine DVK-style people drinking from those bottles then...

The gelded hand line isn't by Davey

Yes, I know, it is by the guy that started the mature mouse sex forum we discussed the other day, breeeeeaaaassstttss!

All I'll say about "Whuffie" is that it's a concept Davey stole from someone else. Wow, shocker there, huh?

The gelded hand line isn't by Davey, btw. Some different shmuck with "Fox" in his name and marmalade in his skull.

"Lawdy, chile! Ah'm a-fxin' to fight dose dere tar babies, jes' as soon as Ah finishes up dis here dee-lishus wattymelon! MMM MMM!"
Davey must be shot.
And what the hell was that stuff about Mary Poppins and voter fraud? Is he saying that Bush stole the election? And I thought that a "nanny state" was a right-winger's nightmare.

So, no one has any feedback for the script, or are you all still thinking about it? I came up with one today: Instead of Davey throwing the sports drinks, he throws LiveWire Lattes, in the limited-edition Scarlett PI fox-shaped bottle. Her head screws off, of course. Maybe it talks, too ("Driiink Meee!")

I agree... but it's a tricky insert. Let's try, in PAGE THREE, FIRST PANEL.
TEXT BOX: "Teh Rotten Laywer laughed at the Aminator and pointed to a cage. The crature inside geld out an hand and the sleve slid back revealing some curcuitry underneith."
...and the rest of the dialogue follows.

The lesson of the horribly crowded panel has not gone unheeded.

He geld out his hand and the sleve slid back revealing some of the curcuitry underneith

A gem on the Disney RPG from the 'Sick Puppy' that started the mouse porn on the DVK forums.
I think this would be a great line to add to one of the Phrack Whore panels that features Sonic with a robotic arm.

You have to love the scoring system DVK uses,
Adam: 720 points, 5,040 Whuffie
Daniel: 60 points, 50 Whuffie
Firestorm: 170 points, 285 Whuffie
Joplin: 30 points, 30 Whuffie
Kelly: 30 points, 30 Whuffie
Lily: 30 points, 30 Whuffie
Mickey: 160 points, 25,280 Whuffie
Monteblanc: 30 points, 30 Whuffie
Rich: 30 points, 30 Whuffie
Vixen: 40 points, 45 Whuffie; Todd has 40 points

Yes, the Self Insertion character is clearly in the lead, except that Mickey trumps him in the Whuffie department.
And what the hell is a Whuffie, OK don't tell me because I really don't think I want to know.

It sounds like a cutsie way of saying FART! Excuse me but I just did a Whuffie!

Edited by author 11-22-2004 06:51 PM
Yegh... look how they're fawning over the guy, playing into his grimey hands and ADORING him!

Looks like that Rich Koster guy's a Bush fetishist. I mean, look at his avatar and sig.

Davey's finally gotten back to work on Storm the Castle. It's stupid, horribly racist, and there's art! Yay!

Edited by author 11-22-2004 06:20 PM
(It's just a ref to my last LJ entry, Zef, not some arcane message re: skinniness. :)

Congrats, Bill, you got most of the folks in my class gathering around my kompyuter saying, "Awwwwh!" at the Byron photos--then in the interests of equal time, I had to show them Her Killsness' baby pix. Hey, I figured you were just the guy to make a bunch of girls squeal in rapturous adoration like that--hell, somebody's gotta do it. You've done your part.

I've kept a number of my more recent kitty pix to myself for the very reason that they also showed how messy my house is. Hear ya on that, bro.

PS: my classmate Dawn's sister's cat, a Siamese polydactyl, just had 6 kittens, all of which are extry-toed (though isn't it a recessive gene?). Dawn is giving one a home, but I told her she'll have to do a lot of work before sa petite is anywhere near as renowned or beloved as Senor B...

Zef: Oh, Wacom's just a brand, but they're the dominant manufacturer of drawing tablets, like Adobe makes image software. Most people who own a Wacom tablet just call it a Wacom ;)

re Baggy Byron: I was a little disturbed by the green thing sitting next to the Paddle box on the floor.. is that a *chainsaw*? ;)

Cats and low-grade wood pulp... what's better? Other than the classic PADDLE IV game! That's quite a collection of coolness you've got for the kids to frolic in.

Just wanted to comment that the Byron blogs are HYSTERICAL. He sounds like my kitty (gray AND white, beat that!).

Oi, the river Saskatchewan is a very nice river, thank-you-very-much. *is a former resident of Saskatoon*

Edited by author 11-22-2004 12:52 PM
I like how Bill added 'Sneaky cats of mass destruction'.

Mimi, i thought Wacom was a brand, but everyone seems to mention these, so is it a brand or a technology? ...i couldn't do anything without my Logitech Optical Mouse™ ^-^

*laughs her ass off at the Byron blog and pics, then picks it up and goes in search of a stapler*

Edited by author 11-22-2004 10:51 AM
Bill-- Plaza, Mall... tomater, love-apple. Somewhere for addled consumers to get more addled, and possibly consumptive. Maybe you can add to the fun by sneaking over one night and setting up a few cheap toys around a picture of some toddler, giving the appearance of a child having been smashed flat by a Buick-pilotin' oldster. Not only will there be plenty more smash-ups as people try to make out what the pile of stuff is, but in a few days, there'll be a GIANT pile of stuff that you can glean some cat toys from.

*hugging Wacom 6x8 tablet*
Couldn't live without it ;)
I am spoilt now, so I admire anyone who can draw just using the mouse. (And yeah, there's the pencil, too ;))

If I had to guess, the other page was created on a Mac, and they used "smart" quotes - and they don't translate well to a PC. It does all kinds of crazy things.

Edited by author 11-22-2004 12:23 AM
if you save, save lots for a BIG one. i think most good artists will tell you it's necessary for it to be big. i can't really do a lot with my small one, but possibly that's just me needing to practise more.

Zef: Aw, man, you have a tablet?! Well, a small one, yeah... but a tablet!

I need to save up for one. Oh, the possibilites...

A tablet PC would be pretty cool, too. *drool*

Fistlekits: Drawing it entirely by mouse in Photoshop with a 2 pixel brush (anti-alias OFF, of course ;)) would, I imagine, probably help ENORMOUSLY with the suckage

Geez, that's my method!! only instead of turning antialiasing off i just use the pencil. what is now bugging me now is that I usually draw other non gonter stuff that way too. :p i have a graphic tablet, but it's 4x3 so it doesn't really get much usage.

Lilly:
"Byron and Kills will soon be getting something new to play with (or alternately, be terrified by) which is also an addition to their mommy's never-ending supply of inexplicia."

Yay! You can be that there'll be pictures of that encounter!

eRNST:
(oops, left the caps lock on after my Byron blogging)
"man, is driving past that mall obligatory for you?"

It's not a mall, it's a plaza. A small group of stores in a row with seperate entrances as part of 1 building, but, unlike a mall, not in the same building with interior entrances.
I could not drive past it, but it would add 5 minutes to the trip.

"Most places I know up put up some kind of "dangerous intersection" sign after a few accidents in the same place, maybe you should suggest it to your local council."

My local Council...OF DOOM!
"I, Lex Luthor, oppose a stop sign! In the name of EVIL!"
"Solomon Grundy like the smashy-smashes! Cars go boom crash!"

It's also not an intersection. The parking lot opens directly to the road. The problem is retards who pull out without looking (and I almost got hit AGAIN yesterday, in a different plaza, when someone backed up without looking). The really stupid part is that there's an intersection that the plaza opens on, and there's a stoplight on a sensor that changes to green after a car's there for about 15 seconds. Way easier than trying to make a left across 4 lanes of busy traffic, but no one uses it. (Except me, when I'm leaving it)

And what browser were those first few pages supposed to viewed in?

Probably FireFox, ha ha ha ha, I crack myself up ;)

It looks like they are using a default european font of some sort and have not configured the page to inform the browser of this.

Edited by author 11-21-2004 07:27 PM
SteveM, you MUST do at least one panel with Stick Figure Gonty!

Rabbit, good point. But I think if Davey was going to find me, he would've found me long ago via the Jen White stuff. And there's no indication that he ever has. By which I mean, no screaming from him. That did go up in his old-meds days.

I Googled to see where the old page turned up, and it was neither buried nor at the top. (edit: And how could he find the project, since the text and the pic names won't mention his name?) I also came across another page mocking the first run of Scarlett. Some of the comments are funny, although it stops really quickly. And what browser were those first few pages supposed to viewed in? There's all these weird characters in the text.

I too would like to send up a hurried--frickin limited library kompyuter time!--hurray for Byron pix, w/or w/out commentary. Though you know, Bill, we do all so love the funny, and you do bring it so well.

I already told El Zefster about this, but Byron and Kills will soon be getting something new to play with (or alternately, be terrified by) which is also an addition to their mommy's never-ending supply of inexplicia. Provided I find my address book and get my ass to the post office this week, anyway.

Rock on witcher bad parodic selves, already!

Hm, I never realized that about DVK's art. Great parody! *snicker* That hair...

Edited by author 11-21-2004 05:56 PM
I was messing around in Paint, using only a mouse as I do not have a scanner.
Anyway I came up with StickMan Ver 1.0. The parody is that DVK spends so much time on the head and very little on the body.
Yes it sucks, but then I already warned you of my drawing inability!

Ernst and Fistlekits: Wonderful! Love the script, love the cover. It's all so...so...bad. In a good way. If I didn't know better, I'd think that was actual Davey-kin's art.

Bill: Byron pics! Yay! Kitty pics make all the bad things go away.

As for linking, well, we're not in this for the fame and the glory. It's all about the funny. A little page tucked away where we can show it to other phrack-whores, but still keep it hidden from the Man himself, is more than sufficient.

Fistlekits: Drawing it entirely by mouse in Photoshop with a 2 pixel brush (anti-alias OFF, of course ;)) would, I imagine, probably help ENORMOUSLY with the suckage(not that your stuff hasn't been awesomely Sucking already!). The relative difficulty of drawing with a mouse would mean our annoying ability to contruct properly would be hampered somewhat ;)
Remember artists: Perspective Shmerspective! whoo!

Thanks for the comments, y'all! I didn't think the atrocious cover would be so well received. :)

Zef: I just drew it all on paper. Doing a panel entirely in Photoshop would be pretty daunting... but I gotta try it!

Mimi: It was TRON? Whoops. No worry, I can edit it.

Ernst: The overcrowding thing didn't really come to mind--it just happened. I suspect the Spirit of Suck had something to do with it. (I hope he leaves as soon as we're done with this project; he's starting to suggest putting fox ears and tails on each of my characters in my other projects.)

So it's agreed? We look over the script for a week, suggest things, edit it, and then get to work? I'm for that. I think I need to recover from a whole day of trying to get the Gont down on a whole piece of paper, anyway.

In reverse chronological order:
Steve-- Aren't you up at the same time as Bill because you're on the far side of the planet? ;-)
Fistlekits: Another voice in the choir of Super-awsum-ness. It's like you're channelling the Spirit of Suck! I forgot when suggesting onlookers that a crappily overloaded panel wouldn't be an impediment to DVK, and you didn't.
Mimi: That's a perfectly horrifying banner. And thus perfect also.
Bill: On the [Comments], complete agreement, especially the exclamations. It struck me last night (while taking out garbage, oddly enough), "DAMN! Someone should have said 'Holy Schotz!'" I'll claim distraction at work for the screw-up on the castle.
And completely off team-talk-- man, is driving past that mall obligatory for you? Is there a Discount Factory Ether Outlet location there, handing out samples? Most places I know up put up some kind of "dangerous intersection" sign after a few accidents in the same place, maybe you should suggest it to your local council.

Edited by author 11-21-2004 11:12 AM
O_O *bows down in worship to Fistlekits*
Damn, that is GOOD! I mean BAD!

oop, except I thought we'd agreed on the negative being TRON, not snow white?
I kind of see what Bill's getting at - we should suck, but not so that you couldn't tell the difference between us and the Gont himself. If it's too close, he'd probably ADMIRE it! ;)
If I draw panels, I'll be MOCKING how bad he is...giving the girls K-size tits and all that ;)

Bill: well you never specified what the logo was FOR! If you meant a logo for actually putting on the page where we post the completed comic, then fine. But given that we're kinda hidden here and tend to want to keep a safe distance from Gont, I didn't think of a full title page banner.

The Todvid comic book cover is quite possibly the funniest thing I have seen in a while! The "art" and text are perfect, congrats!! Now if the word "harrible" could be worked in there...

I love you, Steve, I love you to bill, not in that man-man love kind of way, but you know ;)

man, homophobia lives on ;)

Anyway, this weekend was gramma's partay and since mexico's matriarchy-based, it was a big deal, no time to draw or do much.

Still Fistlekits, that's AWESOME! i'd really like to know your process, it's it all CG? when i did those spoofs way back i didn't care much and just moused them, 'cept for the last one which i drew and scanned. i really dig the nice black line, and the whole thing could pass for original gonterman, this is what she meant by stressing over every little line. obviously you've studied his style a lot. i'm really amazed.

Topic switch:

Just got this link from my brother-in-law. It is of one of the most spectacular car racing crashes I have ever seen.

Wow, the guy does walk away from the wreck.

I love you, Steve, I love you to bill, not in that man-man love kind of way, but you know ;)

Can't wait for pics of Byron, I don't mean to impose, but could you possibly do some Byron commentary to accompany the pics. I always nearly wet myself reading Byrons comments!

Edited by author 11-21-2004 01:55 AM
"I just thought that DKV characters had four things in common"

Yes, but remember: There are different artists, and part of the fun is that they're going to change styles. And it's not going to be possible for people with talent to suck as bad as Davey does. The hardest job an actor can do, they say, is to act deliberately badly and without it seeming deliberate. I believe the same is true of artists and writers.

Plus, it's just FUNNY! (to me, anyway) Can you imagine Davey composing that scene? Dude can't draw straight lines. Our artists slave to look like shit, and they're STILL better!

UNRELATED:
Assuming that they came out viewable, there will be some funny pics I just took of Byron tomorrow!

edit:
I love you, Steve--You and Zef are the only people still awake when I am.

Fine, fine, I just thought that DKV characters had four things in common, v-groins, mullets, sausage body parts and heel mouths.

We SUCK, but we suck BETTER, well that ain't gonna be hard!

SteveM:
"your mouths should look more like shoe heels"

I HAVE DISAGREEMENTS! Oh you are with so wrong!! Cleerly, HOUR art dhould look lik Davey's but its funnyer when it lokks BETTERER! Maybe you should share a tub of ice cream with MICHEL MOORE, nuff said!!!!

No, seriously. Make it look DAVEY but make it look COMPETENT. That's the sword's point of our satire: We SUCK, but we suck BETTER!

Edited by author 11-21-2004 01:32 AM
F'kits:
AHAHAHAHA! That is awesome! Whoops, I mean " its phracking the bestly!"
I like the name tags on Stan and Roy, cuz how else you gonna tell the diff?
(edit: If you can change it, the name of the movie's now TRON)

Mimi:
It's funny, but I didn't mean "banner ad." That'd be good for linking, but I meant something HUGEOUS. Y'know, running the width of the page and looking vaguely corporate or something. As always, I will bow to the Will of the People.
Please use the Diebold machines for voting (evil cackle!).

Linking...Umm, is this our private joke? I think that it should at least get an Inexplicable Link of the Week (of several years ago) on Tod's page. It will spread slowly that way. But I think that's what we'd want. Who the hell besides us is going to get the joke anyway, and who wants Mr Davey PissesHisPants to find out?

UNRELATED: Now watching a boot DVD of Bakshi's otherwise-unreleased '66 series "The Mighty Heroes" that I found on eBay. Anyone else ever seen these? (This is the first time since childhood that I have, and I'm lovin' them! Of course, I'm also a big fan of Cool MacCool and Roger Ramjet from the same period. At least a few animators tried to carry on Jay Ward's torch after the demise of Bullwinkle)

Fistlekits, one small concrit from a non-artist, your mouths should look more like shoe heels, sort of D like, see this.

Great logo Mimi, Team Phrack Whores Away!

Edited by author 11-21-2004 01:04 AM
And here be my cover... art...

http://ellie.twu.net/art/greenterman/greenterman-cover.jpg

I might redo the whole thing if I decide that I don't like it. (In fact, now that I think of it, I think I misinterpreted the idea of the Che beret having Mickey Mouse ears on it. I have the emblem, yeah, but the actual ears?...)

Oh, well. We could always change the beret in-comic. ;)

I'll color this and add credits later if we decide to keep it.

And I love the Phrack Whore logo, Mimi! Gaudy and horrenodous--whoops, horrendous!

EDIT: You'll notice I took a few liberties. Nasty liberties.

Edited by author 11-21-2004 12:31 AM
Anyone, including the nonartisitics, want to be comming twoard a awsum "Team Phrack Whore" logo that the sight could wrear?
Oo! Me! Memememememememe! *hand ramrod-stiff in the air, Hermione-like*
I like doing logos :)

Okay, here we go. quick and dirty, but then so's our subject.
WHAA!.
Needless to say, if something classier is required, then we don't HAVE to use this of course ;)

http://www.thoughtviper.com/gontervault/phrack.htm

...And there she is. Team Phrack Whore's first draft of our Work of Beauty.

There a few minor points made by me [in brackets] in it. I guess everyone else's comments go to...the Comments, right here.

I really like Ernst's plot. Let's debate any major suggestions (by which I mean better jokes--funny as it is, we may have ideas that make it funnier--and I can't believe he left out the final POO JOKE! I put it back in) for...what, a week or so? Artists can add whatever/whenever they want. I guess that the new "rule" is that as soon as someone announces that they're drawing a panel, the kibitzing about that one is over.

I, for one, would want at least one full-fledged Davey rant in there. The best place would be in the hat-listening scene. If no one can come up with a new one, it might be even funnier to simply reprint that crap from MouseJerx about Sonic no longer being a good role model. And with a footnote stating "Actual Daveykins quote."

Due attribution suggestion: Ernst will get full writing credit, "with additional suggestions by..." anybody who adds any, on the main title page. Artists will get credit under every panel they draw (prly in eeensy H5-sized text, so it'd be a good idea for you to sign/watermark your work), using whatever alias they want (and "Anon" is acceptable). As always, let me know if you have a better idea.

Anyone, including the nonartisitics, want to be comming twoard a awsum "Team Phrack Whore" logo that the sight could wrear?

The urge to perfect every little line is overwhelming.
Isn't that a little contrary to the notion behind this opus?
My word processor is fastmail.fm
Ahhhh. The price of spamlessness!
Brrrrrraaaainsssss!
...oh, wait. That's me. I'd better get some sleep. Stupid up-at-5am shift.

I'm finally home from work. Give me some time to settle in, and I'll put up a page with Ernst's script.

My word processor is fastmail.fm. I guess it can only read txt and html files.

Ugh... I've been working on the cover all day (in between eating, doing homework, and the like, of course). The urge to perfect every little line is overwhelming.

I'm about 1/3 done. Gotta finish sketching it, then ink it and scan it.

I third "Team Phrack Whore" as our creative group name!

I second 'Team Phrack Whore', too. Keep the In Joke a distinctly In Joke ;)
Ah, I THOUGHT you mean Pearl Forrester..

Maybe if Ernst and Bill nut out the BASIC script, and whoever does each panel can make their own small tweaks (with tenses and spelling and so on) to 'Gonterise' it further. If we all keep tossing in corrections now, Ernst will never finish correcting it. Give the guy a break ;)

Edited by author 11-20-2004 09:37 AM
OK, I'm now TXTulating the former RTF(Rich Text File-- what the hell kind of word-pro does Bill have that can't read that?!). I'll have it off to Our Supervisor in a few minutes... but of course I have to do some edits now ;-> I promise to monkey with tenses while I'm at it.

Pearl/Rose is an indication of how long it's been since I watched MST and how little I liked those latter seasons. FIXING IT!

EDIT: Oh, almost forgot; just because I had a yoggle of free time yesterday doesn't mean I want total writing credits! Add! Suggest! Change! Deny!

LATER EDIT: OK, txt version away! And I COMPLETELY forgot to change the film to TRON. Duh.

I like 'team phrack whore'. i'm also maybe quitting my 12 hour a day, $4.5 for a day job soon. because it's too lame, but it'll give me time to help y'all. now i need sleep.

Edited by author 11-20-2004 01:29 AM
Yeah, Ernst is blowing us all away! (Or is he Clinton-jobbing us all away?)

Another snippet without all that code, based on the "Viet Congses send a pig after somebody":

LAWYER: Let's see how fast you are now that Sonic chases you! We stolen the
copywrite on him and now he is angry but with our control! He's in a wild rage!

My only quibble with Ernst's script: It stays in the proper tense throughout! Where's our beloved past/present/future switches?

edit: I'm sure the stress of writing like Davey made Ernst type "Rose Forrester" when he meant "Pearl." Although that's just the type of detail Davey would screw up. Ernst, was that intentional?

Just a note...I understand she's busy with other things, but where's Negaduck? I was sure she'd at least leave some commentary on "Team Phrack Whore"'s first project...
(I was thinking of naming the group collaboration that. Or maybe the "World Gontorrhea Council." Are those good, or are there any other ideas?)

Minor script nitpick: I'd have Davey call Eisner 'Mikey' instead. He seems to do that a lot.
Even better, have Eisner threatening to torch TRON ;)

Fistlekits: And scan it as B&W, NOT greyscale, for that luvly jagged un-aliased badness ;)
I dunno, I think Davey uses at LEAST Paint Shop Pro. He uses DEFAULT gradient fills.

Fistlekits: It's all yours, as long as you remember to color it in MSPaint.

Ernst: Best. Script. EVER.

Edited by author 11-20-2004 12:10 AM
Ernst sent me his start, but it's in a format that I don't know how to read without squinting (What's .rtf? I truly know nothing about computers) I'm hoping he'll send it in a different format, but here's the cover blurb:
(edit: Let's try that again. I'll just scrape the weird stuff away, except for the first one)

}{\plain \fs24 TITLE, LARGE PRINT: Todvid Greenterman: Super Mouseketeer\par
}{\plain \fs24 TEXT BOX, UPPER LEFT: (bold)Action like no action before! The world's
imagination is captured by a new hero! The Mightiest man ever, who used to be a mild
mannered teenage artist, races to the rescue of the beleegerd Magic Kingdom! The War
for America's Imagenation is underway, and this super-soldier will win!
FOREGROUND: Extremely masculine adult Todvid, wearing mid-60's combat fatigues
and a beret in the manner of Che Guevara, with disney-style "Mouse Ears"on the hat,
engages in hand-to-hand combat with Osama Bin Ladin and Rose Forrester. A powerful
mullet flows from beneath his hat. Lower right, looking on in horror or rage, is Micheal
Eisner, waving a '30's style blowtorch near a reel of film. The visible lid of the film can
is labelled "Snow White Orig. Negative."
TODVID: Once I've dealt with of Osama and Rose, I'm taking care of you for good,
Eisner!
BACKGROUND: Watching the foreground action, in attitudes of adoration, as many of
the following as will fit: Scarlet the Fox, Johnny Briz, Mickey Mouse, Roy Disney, Stan
Lee, any number of DVK's previous self-insertion characters, an Asian woman in a
schoolgirl outfit.

I'd like to do it. If the other artists wanna do it, too, I'll roshambo with 'em. ;)

Who wants to do the cover?

I'm gonna try just using my left hand next time. Behind my back.

I'm talking about drawing here, don't be filthy ;p

I think I can "improve" it a bit if I hold my pencil like a three year old and don't use construction lines. And close my eyes. And blow my nose on the paper.

And have a friend bind your fingers together with heavy bandages! I think I'll ask my roommate to do the same for me. Sure, holding the pencil will be a bitch, but it just might get that classic Gontie look we're all striving for.

<snip repulsive yet amusing bit of mousey roleplay>

I think I just laughed so hard I threw up. Not really, though it would have been funny if I had. Of course, whenever someone talks about their fractured past, their breasts swell. That's logic.

Thank you all for the kind words about my art. I've had a bad couple of days art-wise and it's strangely comforting to hear that my competency ruins my Davey art. I think I can "improve" it a bit if I hold my pencil like a three year old and don't use construction lines. And close my eyes. And blow my nose on the paper.

C'mon, Gont... what do Berries do to Johnny? Probably make his WHISKERS grow or something lame ;p

I'm betting they give him a better, 80ish mullet. that or they turn him into a retro Mickey look.

Nice play on words, Ernst!

shoot it up to thoughtviper
You should know better than anyone that we phrack-whores prefer smoking the product, but whatever floats your boat ;-)
Done and done.

OMG WTF!!!! I don't believe it!
THE MAYOR DOESN'T HAVE A MULLET!!!
The nose-hair moustache makes up for it.

Ernst:
Yeah, shoot it up to thoughtviper at fastmail.fm

an odd pressure in my chest. and centered in my breeeeeaaasssstssss.

It's called Angina love!

*types in 'sterning' to see the pain.. even though Steve has already pasted it*

*picks self up from floor, trying to breath again after laughing fit*

Oh Jebus, wtf?? Berries for breeeeeeeasssssssstsssss!!!!
C'mon, Gont... what do Berries do to Johnny? Probably make his WHISKERS grow or something lame ;p

There is a new entry in Mousey Mayhem, the DVK mature forum. It makes the grammar in LiveWire look perfectly acceptable.
I have a REALLY bad feeling it was typed in one handed.

Anyway, skip the text below if this does not interest you, here it comes;

Sick Puppy wrote:
"I was think about my fractured past." She replies. "And it's conntectiom to a bush that grows these." She pulls out of the skirt pocket a handfull of berries that were of colors that berries normally weren't. She held up a silver colored one and adds, "I had one of these and began to feel an odd pressure in my chest. and centered in my breeeeeaaasssstssss." She half closes her eyes as her breasts swells slightly sending a pleasurable wave throughout her body.

"Tara's with her out in back" gets my vote as well, it would have been even better if you included the "two'll".
The 29 word, no punctuation, mega-sentence in panel one should also get an honourable mention.

Man, my fingers hurt. Relatively slow day at work turned into the 45 panels of preliminary WHATEVER THE HELL THE TITLE IS, DISNEY ANARCHIST! script. So, mighty Bill, shall I send this to you via the emailophone? It's an AWFUL lot of text to post right here....

What the hell's with the lone hand in the last panel? And what is it grabbing? Is it coming through an open door? Is it some sort of portal? Has it been severed?

"Tara's with her out in back" wins my vote.

Vote, or the grammar terrists win! (Ha ha! Oh, nonsensical modified topical humor!)

Edited by author 11-19-2004 01:11 PM
Woohoo, New Livewire!.. wait, what am I saying? *dons welding mask to shield from the pain*

Okay, when did the MAYOR arrive?? And why am I not the least bit surprised to see Jim/Roy back again?....
This town is so dead, the mayor has nothing better to do but be Adam's whipping boy for finding 'cheap' accomodation.
Adam: Eh, she's Japanese, a shoebox will do!
Hmm.. Johnny's profile is becoming less Bluth and more disney every day. Is that a Mickey nose or what?

Iiii don't get it. What is so bad about being put up in Vegas 5 star hotels as a living arrangement? Sounds like a peachy setup to me!
Painful Grammar Finalists:
care to tell me what's she like, tho'
Tara's with her out in back..
Cast your votes.

BWA-HA-HAAA... it's FEMALE ADAM in the bottom right frame! all that's missing are boobs.
I don't think I WANT to know what fetish Davey is going to have Nitwit dressed in when that door opens....

For Young Davey reference, try looking up 'Lost Boy Found' on Foxfire.

No, we shouldn't depict transformations, I think. That was part of SGB's great badness. The shirking from anything remotely challenging to draw ;)
Yup. Sounds like Davey. When in doubt, draw weird blobby shapes as though he's in a lava lamp and make with the weird-ass onomatopoeia :)

I'm going with "Young Man" until told otherwise. Ooooopen ended.

Agreed, Tod is Davey.

So we're just dealing with a beret with mouse ears attached to it? Cool. Although we don't get to see Todvid change into a female fox... actually, that's probably better.

One question: is Todvid a little kid or a thirtysomething society reject? Wait a minute, what am I saying? Kids and adults look alike in Davey's world!

Noted: Goofy beret in the text! I'll let the artist community decide it the untidy facial hair of revolution is appropriate.

...and let's be honest, Bill dun be de massa. I'm just one of the uppity readin' types.
(Wow. Is this ever an uncomfortable idiom.)

I think, since Davey has claimed himself (adam) as a proud..*cough*..."anarchist" of Disney, maybe we could think Che Guevara-ish for the military slant. The green beret stays, but add Mickey ears to it.

Ernst: Don' beat me massa! I'll be bad! I'll be ba-aaaaaad *sniffle*

Edited by author 11-19-2004 09:45 AM
Actually, we could just let Ernst write and Fistlekits and Zef draw, and we'd probably be fine!
Curse you, Tod Booster... er, I mean Bill the Splut! And some for you as well, Steve! Stand up for yourself!

OK, that's out of my system. Mimi & Rabbit, super cool art also, although I think Rabbit's competence is showing ;-) Zef-- I didn't mean a fox-head. Just a hat. More upsetting that way.

So, are we going to gather the stuff here, or should we establish external venue(s)? I'll write plenty goodly, but I want some direction from the talented components of the affair. Who's who/what? Is (pleasepleaseplease) anyone else going to contribute text? Stuff from outside the original comic?! Yipe!

Anyway, I'm going to start noodling on a theme, and amend as necessary with suggestions/demands/additions as they occur. Previously mooted fanfic, to the back burner!

EDIT: Oh, crap, another seemingly obvious item! It's not a military beret-- it's one of those damn ear-bearin' beanies! Todvid Greenterman, SUPER MOUSEKETEER!

Edited by author 11-19-2004 02:43 AM
Okay, I really need to go to bed.

Final thought: Tod is Davey. That's it. And that's the only rule.
Change who's who as much as you want. Uncle Roger or Mom or the monk or the Jungle Wizard is whoever you want them to be.
We ain't shooting for coherence here, just a pure Daveykins-inspired insanity mashup.

If you have a several-panel joke, just claim several panels. (edit: even if they're not several panels in the original; just add a bunch) I think I'm going to use that rant at the end of "Mouseworx" as a basis for several panels (if my terrible stick figure drawings can sustain it).

Edited by author 11-19-2004 01:14 AM
"Seeing as I can't write or draw worth shit"
SteveM, you have just nominated yourself for the stick figure drawing panel!
As seen in the previous commentary from real artisits artists (Gonterspelling is catching!), it's hard to draw bad when you draw goodily. Someone who can't draw is what's needed for our Stick Figure Theater! Which I think is required, as we need tiny drawings to accompany at least one long, rambling, incoherent Davey jaw-dropper speech about wrestlers blowing up the WTC because "Murder in Small Town X" was cancelled.

Twoard, and also wrear and comming.

Is it a coincidence that I bought "The Idiot's Guide to Creating a Graphic Novel" last night? (Bought it since I'm planning on writing/drawing one myself.) But I guess I'll have to shelve it while I'm working on this project.

Man, I love all the ideas coming in! I'll post another sketch or two in the morning.

Seeing as I can't write or draw worth shit, I will only contrib the occasional GoterWord.

We need to fit 'twoard' in there somewhere.

meh, Rabbit, Fistlekits, Mimi, posers! you can see the TALENT through your pictures still! you have to work harder on making it worse! I'm worrying that because i'm still so unexperienced/untalented is the only reason i can emulate him to a closer degree. or maybe because (like on the lil strips BIll wrote) i just think ' i can't do WORSE than him' (but end up looking alike) i don't know, i need sleep.

Ok, ok, was Ernst's idea to have a super magical zoot head instead of a beret? i think that'd suit the history better, but i don't know if that's what Ernst meant. as i said,i need sleep.

"What about the obvious and make Uncle Roy the Uncle?"

PERFECT! Although he'll have to wear--I'm sorry, wrear--a nametag, since DVK always draws him like Stan Lee in a badly-rendered suit.

What about the obvious and make Uncle Roy the Uncle? Cuz after Uncle Roger gives Tod the beret and Tod starts with the whacky stuff, all Roger does is look on in horror. I'm sure Roy would do the same thing if he saw what Davey has done to Disney ;)

From the comments on Davey's last 2 Deviant submissions:

"If you see any errors there, yes it was the schedule again." And the problem with that couch you can see through Goodlow's legs is blamed on "foreshortening," a word I'm astonished to see that Davey not only knows, but can spell. He prly just cut&pasted it from a Sonic fanart website.

No wonder he voted for Bush. Everything he does wrong is someone else's fault.

Edited by author 11-18-2004 11:43 PM
"Too dumb? Never mind."

Too dumb...for a Gonterman parody? Is that even possible?
Of course, Super Gonty Beret would have a robotic arm! It could be one of his lil' magic tricks. Also, "the Star-Mech Armor" and "the Davey Crockett Zoot." Let's face it, no way Sonic and the Sailor aren't going to write themselves into this. And Mickey. He could be the monk who gets rescued, and then acts completely out of character.

"Too good"?

Nah. Maybe it's just me, but I think an ever-changing visual style would make it better. To abruptly go from Davey-style to stick figures drawn with pencil to actual TALENTED ARTWORK would not only be funny, it would also point out our main complaint about HackBoy: His work never "imporves."

edit: Oh, you want that on "Uncle Daveykins."
We need to decide who's who here. I love Ernst's perfectly-Daveylicious idea of Tod being the self-insertion. So who is Uncle Roger? It can't be Davey, because then there'd be 2...self...insertions...
WOO. It just writes itself, don't it?
MULTIPLE DAVEY CLONES! ALL the good guys could be Davey! Squad of US soldiers: Goodlow, Pacbell, Kintobor, Kronos, Crockett...they're the Band of Mulletted Brothers. And they're ALL "internet cartoonists from St Louis"!
Except his Mom, who will have to be Davey as a woman as a fox or some other dementia. Hey, she could be Gadget!
Just a thought. We're still "brainstorming" like DVK does here.

Oo! Oo! May I suggest that Uncle Daveykins has a robot arm from the Great Robot or Something Other War that takes place in Disney World?

Too dumb? Never mind.

I'm with Fistelkits, Rabbit - it's too good ;) Mine could stand to be worse, too, I know...
It's not easy, is it??!!

The nipples are not present when fur is present, tho'...
But agreed, mandatory camel toes, unbending inflated legs and iron-feet are musts. Or if female, chunky unbalanced hi-heels.
The typical Davey body looks like a balloon animal with a rubber band tightly wrapped around the general waist area ;)

Worst sidebar ad ever:
Listed as $200/Hr in Weed?, it promises you huge amounts of money just to take online surveys! Wow, and there's not even a catch!
And you only pay them $35!

Rabbit: Dang, that's almost too good. You do have a lot of good points about the drawing style, though; everpresent nipples, V-shaped crotches, and horribly rigid, barely bendable legs.

I'm gonna start sketching a few panels tonight, just to get the feel of it. It'll give me something to do while waiting on my laundry, besides.

Aside: I finally realized that "concrit" is "constructive criticism." Shortening words like that is jurestup (just really stupid).

Alright, here's my meager attempt. I didn't have any reference materials, so it's mostly just what I could remember.

I feel so dirty.

Edited by author 11-18-2004 09:44 PM
Mimi, you are also GENIUS! Except I think it's still too well-drawn. (Maybe if you drew with the wrong hand, or just shoved the pencil up your bum.)

I did some sketches earlier, I'll put them up whenever I get around to scanninng them. I have a friend who is verging on Gonter-obsessive, maybe I can recruit her for some help too. *evil thoughts*

Edited by author 11-18-2004 11:27 PM
Mimi:
BWA HAHAAHA!
Yes, let's not forget retarded sound fx!

The Jungle Wizard will of course be played by Stan Lee.

edit: I also declare valid NOT drawing. ie, you find an apropos picture of Uncle Roger Rodeo Clown bronco-busting that peccary, it's acceptable.

Edited by author 11-18-2004 09:09 PM
Mimina: Holy crap, that's good!! You even added the special effects text!

Bill: *going into super dramatic mode that she's famous for* Yes, 'tis I! I ventured forth into your arena of merriment under guise for--*gasp*--I could not show my true form at first... oh, well. It was gonna come out sooner or later. ;)

As project coordinator, I declare Ernst's version now officially canon. Cuz it was so funny and Daveylike!
Other than the basic concept, who cares how coherent it is. Like Davey's plots always make sense, right? I'll start keeping a list of who's claimed what panel for writing and/or drawing and I guess we'll get slapdashedly started.
As to the drawing, I think it would add the humor and surreality if there was a mix of styles, including non-Davey ones. Stick figures would be fine for his tribute album. However, Fistlekits was a good primer on his style. I never caught the nose thing before...
Actually, we could just let Ernst write and Fistlekits and Zef draw, and we'd probably be fine!

'kits: You're Ellie! I never knew that.

(Michael Palin voice)You bastards!! You filthy jabby BASTARDS!!
LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!!

for what it's worth, the heel of my hand did not touch the paper ONCE as I drew this. It's the only way I could make it bad ;p

Oh yeah, and I've written Zim slash. On the one hand, I'm proud I actually finished a story, on the other, I'm depressed for obvious reasons.
http://www.fanfiction.net/u/704116/

i love the note, "god-awful coloring."

Edited by author 11-18-2004 07:04 PM
Ah, it's nothing to worry about, Mimina. There is a burning, itching sensation between your fingers, but it goes away as soon as you stop drawing.

Rabbit: I'd love to see other people's DVKesque art! Go for it!

ADDED: To the writers, might I suggest plopping wrestlers and terrorists into the mix? Maybe terrorists plan to blow up Cinderella's castle and the WWF is called in by Todvid (I love that name!) to help beat them up?

I am frankly SCARED to try Davey art. I feel like I'd have to sterilise my hand afterwards and burn the pencils ;p

Fistlekits: You are GENIUS!

Damn, now I'm gonna have to try my hand at some Davey art.

But she is wearing pants... well, in at least one of the tiny sketches.

Crap, I must have DVK down!

Edited by author 11-18-2004 02:12 PM
GAAAH! Brilliant similacra, really. Yes, I suppose some kind of super-green transgenderfication should be part of the whole affair as well.... Call me conventional, I guess. For the uniform question, there should at least be pants, for no other reason than to keep a vague notion of military-ness in place. Any Froggie surrender-monkey can wear a beret, after all, but only real soldier guys wear baggy pants with gobs of pockets.

{edit: of course, the android fox COULD be a replacement for the magic monkeys-- then Super Gont Beret would have a less auto-erotic focus of his affections. *erk* Or maybe... the HAT is a sentient item of clothing with all the desires a long-time virgin attributes to the opposite sex. All together now: EEEUW!}

C'mon, even us decent artists can make crappy art sometimes!

http://ellie.twu.net/art/sgfa/sgfa-sketch01.jpg

And I have proof! Please excuse my horrid writing. And yes, I drew all this in a notebook, and before I read Ernst's ideas.

Changes will be made as more ideas pour in.

Lavender: The Disney-Dali 'Destino' short is old news. Was one of the last things Roy Disney worked on before his resignation. The short was nominated in this year's Oscars.
The animation nuts are still waiting for a DVD release.

Sorry for my non-participating in the Super Green Furry fun. Stuff to do...

Just occurred to me:
there are a couple of excellent artists on board (oh, you know who you are, you girls of the female persuasion), it might be a fun communal project if even the people who can't draw (like me) joined in.
Wouldn't it be more in the spirit of the thing if the non-drawing writers did the art, and the non-writing artists handled the script? ;-)

Edited by author 11-18-2004 12:10 PM
I don't know how long this Raptavio person's knife is, but is sure is sharp.

Boy, the Nodd Crap-Ton project is both tempting AND daunting. I'm going to approach this from the viewpoint that Todd himself is the obvious self-insertion point (OW!)... OK, let's try the panel immediately after the assless young version leaves the house to try on the hat. Please assume spelling errors intentional

TODVID GREENTERMAN: (now an adult in military uniform, with a mullet, triangular fox-ears sticking up through unseen holes in beret, and a black gum-drop nose. Slightly crosseyed): Holy Smoke! All... big! Im now feeling like a millon dallars! And my sense of smell and hearing are super!
UNCLE ROGER: (agape) GRATE SCOTT! Even in the US Army, I have never seen such a manly figure! You will teach a big lesson to all those Vietcong and other terrists, I'll bet! And the rest of us Green Berets will have a lot of competition for ladies, too...
-NEXT PANEL-
TODVID: (now in profile, a big bushy tail can be seen emerging just below the belt-line) I'll soon find out! HEY, STUMPS! Turn to poo! If this wirks, I'll get all the bullies in the world next.
ROGER: Todykins, you shouldn't make big piles of poo in your parent's back yard!

I'm up for it. Let's prove we can make a piece of shit!

Count me in! I'm already thinking of character designs. I could sketch some, scan them, and ftp them to my site today.

I just gotta resist the urge to make them look decent.

And, in GOOD animation news, a Disney/Dali collaboration:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1462300

Michael Barrier: Why is an animated Ralph Bakshi's time on the pot the centerpiece of one of your recent episodes?

John Kricfalusi: Obviously you haven't spent a lot of time with Ralph Bakshi. This cartoon is not about poo. It's about being pulled into the world of a fellow as compelling, startling, sentimental, and dangerous as Ralph Bakshi.

AAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! My lungs! This guy is yea close to replacing Daviekins in my heart. (And yes, he IS being serious.)

Ren and Stimpy porn:

http://renandstimpy.thetma.com

Just, you know, cover your eyes before you look at it.

Here is my first attempt at it.
The panel is here. I tries to photoshop some DVK style faces onto it but my PS skillz suck donkeys balls, so I left it alone.

Here is the text;

TOD: TELL ME ALL ABOUT THE DISNEYLAND BATTLES YOU WERE IN UNCLE DAVID!

U/D: SURE TOD! TAKE A SEAT! WELL FIRST OFF, THERE WAS THE TIME THAT ME AND JB, MY PLAGIARIZED MOUSE, TOOK ON A WHOLE BUNCH OF THE DISNEY LEGAL DEMONS! I ALMOST HAD TO CALL ON MY SUPER MAGIC MONKEY POWERS FOR THAT ONE, LUCKILY MICKEY AND HIS MATES SHOWED UP AND WE BEAT THE SNOT OUTA THEM!

Yeah, I will have a go at one, probably one of the 'brother from the army' panels, I want to use a lot of exclamation marks !!!!111!!!!!!

Let's test the viability of the concept by "roboticizing" a few panels. If it works, we'll flesh it out. (Not to the length of the original TH:SGB, which is way too long for its slim story as it is)

Again, everyone's welcome to play. Pick a panel to write or draw and have a go at it.

Edited by author 11-18-2004 12:55 AM
awright!

*excitedness tho he knows his artistic skills won't be much useful.. ^-^;; *

and the Comics Code Authority for approving this bile...

I always wondered.. was it you who put the red X over the little comics code logo on the cover?

Edited by author 11-18-2004 12:45 AM
"OH MY GOD! that sounds just stupid and big and crazy enough for me to try!"

Rewriting the plot and dialogue into a Gonterman style might not take an extreme amount of time, as there isn't that much. The actual drawing would take a while. While there are a couple of excellent artists on board (oh, you know who you are, you girls of the female persuasion), it might be a fun communal project if even the people who can't draw (like me) joined in. I mean, an utter lack of artistic talent never dissuaded Davey or Team Holton, did it?

I'm up for it. Let's prove we can make a piece of shit!

We'll need a script first. It needs to capture the flavor of the original (shit) with a big ole blobby helpin' of Davey (ie, shit on toast made from shit). C'mon, can at least SOME of you try to play along this time? We're not creating the next All Your Base, or even the next GonterForce, just something goofy we can all giggle at.

Original comic here. Ignore the comments, just use the original.
David Gonterman, Super Green Beray!

Zef, please please please do a Super Green Fox Android strip, that would be awesome.

Raptavio's comment on DVK's soul. Beautiful.

"My ultimate dream would be for Gonty to remake Tod Holton."

OH MY GOD! that sounds just stupid and big and crazy enough for me to try!

of course, with current time constraints (read: i work an awesome 12 hours a day) it might not even start. or it could, depending on how much would y'all apprecciate it.

"Bill! did you forget the only other comic to feature the word 'wierd'???"

My ultimate dream would be for Gonty to remake Tod Holton.
"This calls for--magic sexy fox androids to appear!"

Edited by author 11-17-2004 11:50 PM
"Who is this "some"? Nobody who commented, that's for sure."

Sometimes i talk to 'some' on my DJ too, even if i just have one or two sporadical readers. for me it makes for easier writing when i use it. also, since i'm hella nitpicking, Daybreakcat found that Jim's shirt in strip 8 changes color from panel to panel. we all missed that. and that's the 'some' DVK's talking about. AND then lamely trying to cover up. TWICE. see the comments for strip 8 and the ones that follow. it's a blast.

"I've just found out that I've overdrawn at my bank. Seems that the changes in how checks and charges are sent to my account had came up and bite my own butt off. If there's any one who's capable of sending care packages to me, now would be a good time to do so. Thanks in advance.

(You can E-Mail or IM me if you need an address to send stuff to. I also accept PayPal.)"


man, do any of you think ANYONE's sending him money? or it's another delusion of his? if someone's sending HIM money, maybe i should ask for money too.

"Dude, it's not spelled "wierd."

O.o Bill! did you forget the only other comic to feature the word 'wierd'??? for shame!

"legally sells a mind-altering chemical that's poisonous in large doses."

If who you're introducing yourself to wouldn't know that you can only speak because of a genetic mutation, i'm guessing the concept of 'legally selling' would be lost on them too. ;)

SPI#9:
"Well, some of you noticed a change of the shade in Jim's shirt in the previous page. I brainstormed about a sunset comming through a window. Maybe I worked on that idea with Scarlet's hair."

Who is this "some"? Nobody who commented, that's for sure. And who would notice something that subtle in a DVK strip?
Apparently not Davey, as he's too busy brainstorming (brainlightdrizzling?) to notice that you can see the coffee table/couch/thing between Goodlow's translucent legs. I'm not an artist, but here's 2 words that even I know: Art gum.

SPI#10:
Oh, shit, I nearly threw up when I saw the thumbnail. At first, I thought that GOODLOW WAS GOING DOWN ON HER.
Then I thought, Man, she needs to trim her pubical hairs!
Now I don't know what to think. Does her tail grow from her mons, or did Davey draw her that way to cover up the fact that...ugh!...she has a vagina? I'm guessing the latter. But for what reason? Even he's not so bad an artist for this to be an error.

"Y-yeah, I'm this fox costume. Wierd, huh?"
Dude, it's not spelled "wierd." Of course, we also got another example of "comming," so why not.

Why would she think that it was weird for her to be herself? She's a sentient "zoot." It's what she is!
"Y-yeah, I'm a hairless ape that lives with 2 carnivores and legally sells a mind-altering chemical that's poisonous in large doses. My first name is both a verb and a noun, and my last name a noun and an adjective. I can only speak because of a genetic mutation that occured to my species 50,000 years ago. Weird, huh?" That's how I generally introduce myself to strangers.
I usually don't get a lot of follow-up questions.

New Foxfire strips! It's just like Christmas, if all your presents are filled with poo.

Fistlekits, never mind. I just got 3 days worth all at once. 50 messages...

Note to The Other Subscriber, whoever you are:
Have you suddenly stopped getting emails, too? They're not going into my spam folder. I'm just not getting them.

I just got one today. Kinda odd...

Re. Toy Story 3. That was probably Eisner's LAST tentative leverage to get Pixar to stay - emotional blackmail.
They were always going to make TS 3, with or without Pixar's help or opinion.
The coolly evil part is that Disney is gonna have to make eeeeeeverything again from scratch. Pixar make their own software, and I highly doubt they'll feel obliged to share knowing that Disney is likely going to make something that sucks.
That sad part is that people will still buy it.

Damn, I completely forgot this horrid thing I found on someone else's Google-ad bar. It explains an awful lot, tho':

Vote Republican For Sale. New & used Vote Republican. Check out the deals now!

Edited by author 11-17-2004 09:26 AM
Those aren't... chickens. They're Pigeons from Hell! Stick to the barbarians, Howard.

Man, I'm going to have no more to do with that MouseCrap than appears here. Everything's more palattable with an Irwin Allen reference!

Thanks for the NecronomiDisneycon, Ernst!
Too bad everyone else was too chicken to post.
(mutters to self) b-GAWK!

Bravo Bill, Bravo.

I read it all just after posting the links.
I then had to migrate an accounting application from a Windows NT4 server to a Windows 2003 server, remotely, from my bed via a laptop and VPN connection.

After that my brain broke.

But well done indeed!

Edited by author 11-17-2004 01:19 AM
Re MouseHurtz:

"Mickey only humped and said one word to sum it up: 'Puberty.'"

Oh, Mickey! Lay off the Horny Goat Weed!

(added)
Last sentence of Part 3:

"Besides, It's a Fan Story, I'm not making money with it, and none of the mice are cussing or in adult situations, so you can't sue me, so there :,-p <beeeee>"

Yes. beeeee indeed! That ends that argument!

First sentence of Part 4:

"CAUTION: The next installment contains an adult theme."

As Michael Caine said in The Swarm, "I've never dreamt it would be the beeeees! They've always been our friends!"

added:

"His words were cut off when Gadget caressed 'that most glorious nose' of his with her lips and sicked on it like a gumdrop for a while."

WHAAA-HAHAHA!
Oh, wait, Davey didn't mean she puked on his face! She merely sucked his nose.
The HELL?
That counts as what, a Pinocchio Job?

Jonathan: "So Gadget, you ever been in a kiss before?"

Gadget: "A kiss? Like when Monty gives me a peck on the cheek,
or when I bearhug Chip for finding a lost gear?"

Jonathan: "No. Not like that. I mean . . .

"...IN a Kiss!" and he hurled her into the chocolate vat at the Hershey factory.

And after her orgasm--orgasm--from being kissed by a rat with a mullet,

She licked her lips. He tasted like Velveta.

Sexiest line EVER.

BTW, did anybody get even 1/10th of the "pop culture" refs he made through the story? I got 0/10ths. No, no, wait--I've heard of Hulk Hogan.

"Did I ever, Crikey! When Hogan turned his back on a
two decade life as a role model and joined them, I saw broken hearted kids by the city block. I even seen several of them turn to drink. Not a good day."

Yeah, Hulk Hogan was a 20-year role model. For the brain-damaged. And now the sad children are drinking the Bukoffs! Oh bleak day for humanity!

Mickey Mouse is starting a New World
Odor of his own!!

Man, and I was blaming the cats for the smell!

And the inevitable totally insane Davey jaw-dropper:

It's not just Hogan that's ticking off not just myself, but every other Generation Xer in the crowd. It appears that we just are not allowed to have *anyone* to look up to. Professor X has changed into that monster, Onslaught, Sonic the Hedgehog gets his butt roboticized, and now Hogan joins the NWO? No wonder we're pipe bombing everything from Federal Buildings to Olympic Venues!

DAVEY ADMITS HE BLEW UP OKLAHOMA CITY!!'
Because of SONIC.
And Hulk Hogan.
And a few issues of the X-Men.
The HELL?!

Note to The Other Subscriber, whoever you are:
Have you suddenly stopped getting emails, too? They're not going into my spam folder. I'm just not getting them.

Disney to make Toy Story 3--without Pixar.
Oh, that'll be good.

SteveM: Awww, poor thing. <:o The poodle we had was attacked by a Chow dog and had to be put to sleep when the vet found out that his back had been broken.

And my Tortie tabby, who I raised from a tiny kitten, ran away a year ago. It still breaks my heart to think about her.

I think once my Siamese cat passes away, I won't have pets for a long while.

*sigh* Gawd, why do some people (including myself) fall in love with animals so easily?

Damn, I need to read some more Mouseworx. (Yeah, to cheer myself up, I'm gonna subject myself to pain. Wow, *I* must be a mental masochist.)

To quote a common phrase on Fark.com - I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

What continually amuses me about Davey is that he is ALWAYS mentioning how he tones anything hentai down. I think it's because he honestly COULDN'T be explicit if he wanted to. Every time he goes into anything VAGUELY sexual, it's always with this giggly 'ooh, NAUGHTY!' tone to it.

Sweet Jeebus, Mouseworx is so bad I can hardly read it. I skipped to the end to see what happens. Nothing, apparently, besides some crap about wrestlers. I think this is the most traumatic part of the whole thing:

She acted more like a cat than a mouse for the next 90 minutes;
rolling around, wrestling playfully, stroking his snout with
hers, and allowing him to pet her all over. At one time, she
felt something round and hard under his pants with her upper leg.
She couldn't figure it out. "JB, what do you have in your
pocket?"

So, which part of this atrocity scarred you the most?

Edited by author 11-16-2004 07:05 PM
I have literally gotten only as far as the first few lines of part one and I already want to snort a beverage through my nose:
"Tell me about it, with your chest? Minnie took one look at it
and almost thought about breaking up with Mickey so she can take
*you*. You're quite a sex symbol, Jonathan."

*retch*
I love the Freudian slip where Gontie writes "*you*" instead of "*Johnny*". I think his Real Doll stands exactly 2 feet 5 inches tall.

My favorites are Siamese

We had a siamese seal point cat many years ago.
He had an extremely rare bone disease that meant his bones could break very easily.
He had two artifical hips and two artifical kneecaps, God he cost us a fortune!
He was the best cat ever though, he was fat in the face and body, unlike the usually emancipated siamese and he had the most gentle nature of any cat I have ever met.
Even when you used to play with him, he would always keep his claws in!

We finally had to put him down after he got attacked by two dogs, they smashed most of the bones in his body, there was nothing that anyone could do to save him :(

He ended up being send to Sydney Uni. and they analysed him and entered his details into the Australian Animal Medical Journal, so at least he ended up famous.

God I miss that cat, hope your having a pain free time now Timmy!

How does Davey know what a teddy feels like?...

He probably wore the one he bought for his Furry RealDoll ;-)

Hm, found something from part 3:

"WHAT DO YOU *MEAN* YER JEALOUS?!" Mickey was having a
conniption at Donald's expense. "You're about to have your
second Disney Afternoon show--YOUR SECOND!! I have to rely on a Fan Fiction writer just so I can have anything above a cameo in a dog taxi. *I'M* the one who should be jealous!!"

I'd be pissed, too, if a sucky fanfic writer had to continue my existence through his vapid stories.

And a little spoiler from part 4 when Gadget gets a teddy...

She ducked into a bathroom to change into it. It wears like a swimsuit, but it was so light and thin on her, she felt like she had on nothing at all.

How does Davey know what a teddy feels like?...

Edited by author 11-16-2004 05:41 PM
Ever heard of a Scottish Fold cat?

My favorites are Siamese and Tortie Tabby, personally.

-----

ADDED: Yeah, I just about forgot that Gonterman made Donald Duck a homophobe who had problems getting through life because of his speech impediment...

... which is odd because nobody seemed to care about it in the cartoons.

If I remember correctly, Gontie also complains about Donald getting two (?) series and Mickey being left, um, unemployed. Dude, the mouse had all those shorts in the 1920s. He starred in a few movies. He's had decades worth of stardom!

The guy just couldn't stand to see another character getting some glory. I'm surprised he hasn't written/drawn/vomitted a protest story about Goofy getting his own series and two movies.

As much as I loathe it, I think I'll have to read all of Mouseworx to refresh my memory about Daveykins complaining about Donald, among other things.

(Oh, and watch out for the Warner Bros. crossover and virtual chat room. And the dipstick comment. You'll scream.)

Mouseworx,

For those that are interested, here they are;

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

The WayBack Machine rules :)

OK, now I'm seeing ads for Horny Goat Weed Capsules. I'm afraid! Quick, let's talk about kittens again and make it less creepy!

Mimina: As soon as you're done reading them, well... we're here for you, honey. We're here.

I MiSTed it a long time ago and I was very disappointed with how it came out. I still have the copy somewhere on a computer back home... but I doubt it'll see the light of day again any time soon.

Edited by author 11-16-2004 01:56 PM
Fistlekits:... damn, I can only find part 4 of Mouseworx. Must read rest.... it's so MST-able :)
what's the date on those, btw? They must predate 2002, because one of them is on the Gonterman shrine....

Edit: Never mind, I found them zipped in a package I got off PoE.

Davey seems to be entering this with the innocence of a 10-yr-old. And are we really the least bit surprised?

Not in the slightest.

But I've seen how "risque" he can get with his writing. I've read all four installments of "Mouseworx"...

Johnny frenching Gadget... ugh...

re. the Davey R forum..
MAN, Steve, that was such a letdown!:D
Sue is topless bathing on the roof (yeah, so? Classic Minnie didn't wear a top either) and Johnny enters. His first words? Not 'Hey there, hot stuff!' or 'rraow' or 'do you have nipples under your fur?' but 'Penny for your thoughts, Sue?'
Davey seems to be entering this with the innocence of a 10-yr-old. And are we really the least bit surprised?

Edited by author 11-16-2004 06:31 AM
(man, that's hard to top...)

"Dad, are we there yet?" Jenny was struggling to see over the sill of the car's back window, but all she could make out was the moss-shrouded tops of the unnervingly tall palms which swayed in the wind.

"Almost, princess. Another couple of minutes." Warren Smith looked over at his wife, whose rictus of glee matched his own. He mopped a hand through his hair.

"Last year," Jenny said, bouncing in anticipation, "last year, when Tommy Bigalow went, last year, he couldn't talk for almost a whole month, and teacher had to feed him at lunch time!"

"I'll bet he had fun," Tara Smith said to her daughter, trying to keep her voice calm. The sign announcing the park's entry was just ahead.

"Mommy," said the little girl in a suddenly solemn tone, "You promise you're coming home? Tommy's mom never came home."

"I'll do what I can dear," she replied, and couldn't help that a single tear rolled down her face.

Moments later, they were parking beside a sand-scoured Packard well out in DisneyLeng's vast expanse of lot. Jenny squealed in glee, pointing at the beckoning tendrils of Colour Out Of Space Mountain. The misshapen figure of Mickey Marsh flapped a squamous flipper at them in greeting, and Jenny ran heedlessly ahead of her parents.

"INCOMING INCOMING INCOMING!" screamed Dad.
"HERE HERE HERE!" screamed Mom as she dragged Johhny and Josie through the debris.

Mortars exploded all around them, as they ran through the courtyard. Snipers began to fire, the 50cal bullets biting chunks from the pavement.

"HERE HERE HERE!" shrieked Mom, as she dove into the ruined foundation of a blasted building.

"DUCK!" said Dad, as A10 Warthogs sprayed 20mm cannon fire in ripples that tore at the ground. He yanked his children away as the planes let loose their 500lb bombs.

As the planes roared away and the last of the rubble fell from the sky, Dad said, "Whew! When they promised us a non-stop thrill ride, they weren't kidding!"

Mom grimly nodded. "And this is the last time we ever vacation at Rummyland, the Happiest Place in Iraq! Right, kids? Right? Kids? Kids?" She looked back at her children.

And began screaming. And once she began screaming, she never stopped.

One day, this woman and I will be wed:
http://home.myuw.net/silviaa/cosplay/18IMG_5447.jpg

Johnny slumped his head on his hand, holding it up from boredom. The boat continued to move slowly on.

"Mee-ARRR!" shouted a sword-waggling mannequin eating a parrot.

"AVAST ye Friskies!" came from another, its speech all staticky from a broken speaker. It had a pegleg and a hook for a paw and held a terrified rat at bay.

"ARRR! Clean the BOX! eeeAAARR! It's stinky!!" said another animatronic dummy, as it waved high the feared flag of the Jolly Mittens.

Johnny rolled his eyes. "Man, I wish I wasn't born in a reality where pirates evolved from cats!"

"Johnny!" scolded his mother. "We paid for the Pirates of the Catribbean ride, so enjoy it! And eat your deep-fried mouse!"

I just had a really bad thought, DVK drawing pictures to go with the text below.

Bad Bad Brane :-(

Since it's password only...how'd you get in?
I signed up and found the password, I am a masochist.

So...run at least an excerpt here. All, if you want.
OK, you asked for it. There is not much so far, just two entries which I will now paste verbatim.

Entry the first by sick puppy;
SUsan layed on the roof of Baka Breakers wearing only her skirt and stared at the clouds. She was thinking about her fragmented past and wishing she could remember more of it.

Entry the second by DVK himself;
When Johnny peeks his head up there on the roof, and saw Susan and her bare top, he slipped back for a second, and then went back out and moved closer.

"Penny for your thoughts, Sue?"

At the very least, tell us...Are there Clinton jobs?
Not yet, but I imagine it will not take long, I will keep everyone up to date on the Clinton developments.

Oh, SteveM, you naughty naughty boy! Someone needs a SPANKIN'!
Since it's password only...how'd you get in? ;D

I'm not joining that club (even Davey might not be so dense as to wonder why he's getting all those hits, and then we'd blow our cover). So...run at least an excerpt here. All, if you want. The interspecies sex isn't going to gross anybody out any more than the turgid writing will!
At the very least, tell us...Are there Clinton jobs?

Edited by author 11-15-2004 11:13 PM
From the previous (Look, I said I was bored!), The Worst Alternate Universe Concept ever:

"Disneyland, the happiest place on Earth. In 99% of the realities where Earth exists, it exists."

99% of the time, Walt got approval for a giant theme park? Even in the most cliched of AltUniverses?

Little Johnny jumped up and down with anticipation. "Oh boy, I'm finally going to TOMORROWLAND!"
ObergruppenTourfuhrer Heinreich Tottenhed tousled the little tyke's hair. "Ya, but it's real name is--TomorrowTheWorldland! Ya, let us zee the vunders of der future!"
Johhny eagerly ran to look at the world to come. "But...but..."
"Is zere zumthing wrong, little liebchin?" asked the guide, quietly reaching for his Luger while dozens of security cameras focused on the boy.
"But...but the future is a world-wide smouldering charnel pit, with corpses piled a dozen deep!"
Johnny's dad nudged him. "Johnny--don't say that like it's a bad thing! This is DisneyReich, the NAZIest Place on Earth!"

Little Piotr clasped his ragged scarf around his face, fending off the stinging pellets of sleet. "Oh boyar! I'm finally at Disneygrad!"
"Welcome to Disneygrad," mumbled a voice thick with vodka over the loudspeakers. "The Teacup Ride is closed. Mr Trotsky's Wild Ride and Assassination is closed. The Gulag Archipelago Mountain Ride is open, although you may not return from it. The gift shoppe is in its tenth year of construction. The concession stands sell week-old bread. There is a 3-day wait in line for anything, except the bathrooms. That's a week-long wait, and you must supply your own toilet paper. Remember: All comrades are equal, sort of, and so no one is to have more fun than anyone else. Enjoy your stay--HACK HACK!!" The voice coughed violently, then the chugging of liquid could be heard. "Enjoy your stay at Disney Soviet."
"OH BOYAR!" shouted Piotr. "WEEK-OLD BREAD!!"

Well, that's all I got off of the top of my head. Anyone with a literary bent and ideas as half-assed as mine is welcome to contribute.

edit: Maybe on that 1%, they have "Daveykins Anime Land." Now that's scary!

I'd gladly whack you with something. shooting, i dunno. i don't owns a gun. afterall, VIOLENT VIDEOGAMES MAKE GUYS LIEK ME KIL! ARR!

So Davey really has erotic fantasies about his childish 'characters' and was just waiting for someone to provide an excuse for him to express it openly? o.o

DKV Forums;

A word of warning for the squeamish, there is a mature section on the DVK forums. It is supposed to contain forums of an adult nature. Luckely so far it has been very quiet.
The bad news is that DVK has been posting the odd message asking if anyone is around and trying to get someone, anyone to post something in there.
Well it has happened, to preserve your sanity I have not provided a link, some sick little perv has started a topic that involves a half naked female mouse, Susan, one of DVK's Disney ripoffs and DVK has jumped straight onto it and injected his other Disney ripoff Johnny, the perving mouse.

Arrrrgh, furry porn, it is worse than the mental Bukoff images I had earlier.

I know this is only going to get worse, the really sad part is that I know I will not be able to stop myself from reading it.

Someone please shoot me now, please, anyone!

I don't normally wander Davey's forums (I leave that to you, the more masochistic), but I'm bored enough to get a chuckle out of this brief thread:
http://foxfirestudios.us/forum/index.php?showtopic=62
Includes the word "Indesperationg," and a character named "Trav Ellar." Yep, "Trav Ellar." I'll bet the guy who carries his luggage is named "Sam Sonite"!
And that's from the part Davey DIDN'T write!

From Davey's Deviant comments, in its entirety:

"Sweet Christ, it's you!
*flees*"

Davey always features art by other people that ranges from damned competent to could-be-a-pro level. Does he think his...for want of a better word, "art," is on par with theirs?
I've noticed how he'll accept concrit on his spelling, but never his drawing. So...yeah, I guess he really does. It would explain the decade(s?) of his artistic nonimprovement.

A man's got to know his limitations, but I guess a Gonterman doesn't.

La La La, you have a broken URL. I have heard that Laphroaig is very nice, I have not had a chance to try or buy any yet. The next suburb has a bottle shop that had 16 yr old Lagavulin for $99AU and I get a 5% discount on that. I must stop by there soon and see if they still have any, it was locked in a big glass cabinet behind the counter.

I seem to have consumed the entire stock of Cardhu from the local bottle shop. The manager was even nice enough the hide the last bottle behind the counter for me, what a nice guy.
He said he would be getting some more in soon, as long as I promise to buy it. It seems that no one else in this suburb appreciates a good single malt, <burns> Excellent </burns>.

...la la la la Laphroaig.

Feel better?

a bottle of Bukoff

Bad bad mental image, gross, think nice thought, nice thoughts.

La La La La.