The Super-Cool Movie thing to do about a spider on someone's neck is to grab them by the shoulder, say "Don't move!" in your best 'Angry Clint Eastwood" voice, and while they're paralyzed with anxiety gently scoop the spider into your free hand and deliver it to a safe, bug-filled dark corner. At which point the beer-ad girls arrive to express admiration.

I actually did something like this recently, except it was a bee, the person was a very good friend, and the sole admirer was my wife (who likes bees and me, so its cool).