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| Kali Bird Isis
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07-22-2008 10:01 AM ET (US)
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Hi all,
I feel sorry that it took me so long to read the recent messages--mine were not answered for so long that I forgot to keep checking back. Such is the life of busy mothers!
I am going to follow Meguey's suggestion to go the forum on the motherwoman homepage--hopefully responses and connections will happen more quickly there!
Amy, I want you to know my heart is with you. I, too, am an older mom. I had my youngest at 40--she's 10 now. Divorce is so tough, even if you were the one seeking it (I was). It's harder than death in many ways and I say that as one who ha experienced both. In fact, my work is with grieving families and I often see such beauty there. Divorce is fraught with despair. But please trust that life does improve in many ways. I would love to talk with you more. You can email me at abrushwithfire@yahoo.com if you want to continue the conversation. I still, after having been seperated 7 years and divorced for 3, struggle with many of these issues. But my life is much much happier than it was even 2 years ago. Have faith. And get as much support as you can...it really matters. Michelle, I say all of the above to you, too! We all need to feel supported in this. It is truly scary to be a single mother. But with a lot of buoying one another up, we don't have o feel so alone.
lots of warm loving tender smiles to all the moms out there and especially to the ones feeling all alone,
Kali Bird | | |
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| ZRM_Biliºim_DEN
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07-21-2008 10:50 AM ET (US)
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07-12-2008 02:21 PM ET (US)
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Deleted by topic administrator 07-13-2008 02:12 AM
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| Amy
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06-17-2008 05:21 AM ET (US)
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Michelle and Kali,
Michelle, thank you so much for responding to my post. I wrote mine in February and you are the first to respond. And, yes, single parenting is even harder than I ever thought it would be and just your acknowlegement is wonderful.
And to Kali, hurray for you for trying to figure out the balance of earning $ and being as available to your children as possible. I empathize with your struggle. Good for you for saying true to your heart.
My best to everyone,
Amy
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sunglow
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06-17-2008 02:54 AM ET (US)
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| michelle
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06-16-2008 09:57 PM ET (US)
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Dear kali , amy and all of you other single Mom's out there
You are amazing and brave! The hardest job on earth is being done right now by you alone and you are doing it. I have 3 kids 5-8 and I have been alone for 4 1/2 years, by my choice. I came out of a dark relationship that on set a horrible postpartum depression that I am finally free of. Motherwomen was like the sun shining warm on my face after after a long winter. I wasn't alone, but my journey is mine alone. From the many circle's that I have sat in there are many words of wisdom out there to learn from. My house may never be 'clean' again, I may not ever have ' a lot ' of money. But my children and I love to find our freedom everyday in so many ways, I do get to enjoy they're smiles and hugs and know they are proud of me for doing the best that I can for them.
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Messages 27-25 deleted by topic administrator between 05-17-2008 10:12 AM and 02-22-2008 04:21 PM |
| Amy
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02-14-2008 03:03 PM ET (US)
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Hi to the women in this community,
It has been a while since my participation in a group through Mother Woman, that was very wonderful and helpful for me in getting clear that I needed to separate from my marriage. I'm an "older" mom of 5 year old twins and now, having separated now for more than 1 and a half years, with a divorce to be finalized by August probably, I find myself disappointed (to say the least!)to realize I am not particularly "happy". I work full time at a demanding job, live in a small, temporary, very uncharming apt, and have my kids with me 4 nights a week. It is good I left a marriage that was not healthy but I am finding it hard to handle many things about my life right now. Working full time is stressful, along with being on my own with my kids without help or adult stimulation when I do have them,also dealing with the sadness that I am not with them full time and that they have to live in two homes and their heartbreaking sadness that I moved out of the home. It is hard to get to a group again with my schedule so I do find myself a bit isolated. I somehow thought that breaking free from my marriage would enable me to get some more breathing room and start a new life but I find I am so immersed in responsibilities and busyness that I an hardly come up for air. Any ideas, support is welcome.
I see myself as having a positive spirit and would love to feel it soar again. Thanks for reading.... :) Amy
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| Meguey
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02-13-2008 11:27 PM ET (US)
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Hello and welcome to you all. I'm so glad you found us. The more of us who are talking together about the real picture of mothering, the better. My children are 11, 7, and 2. When I started with MotherWoman, my oldest was not yet two. I was so isolated and had lost so much sight of who *I* was that I literally looked in the mirror and did not recognize myself. It's in listening to the stories of other women, other mothers, that I realized I was not alone, I was not a bad mother for wanting myself back, and I had the ability to make changes. Thank you for your voices.
You can join the MotherWoman confidential forum by following the link on our homepage. See you there.
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| Binda Colebrook
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01-27-2008 09:18 PM ET (US)
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Hello to all you mothers out there.
I am a mother of two girls and am currently working on a thesis as part of my masters in social work training at Smith College. The study is on postpartum doula supports and whether they enhance maternal self-confidence and maternal empathy in first time mothers.
I am hoping to interview mothers who are 18 or older who had a postpartum doula with their first child.
If you are such a mother and would have an hour to spare, I would love to talk to you. I live in Northampton and could come to meet you if you don't live too far from here. If your children need to be there too that is fine.
You can email me directly at appleseedbinda@verizon.net if you would like to know more or are interested.
Thanks so much for your time.
I look forward to hearing from you.
Binda
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| n_armstrong
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01-16-2008 10:24 PM ET (US)
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I live far, far away from all of you...all the way up in Alberta in Canada (north of Montana for those who never liked geography) and you are singing my song. I found your group on the hearth foundation website links, and I'm crying as I write this after having read 'the myth of the good mother' journal articles. Thank you thank you thank you. My first child is 11 months and it has been the most incredibly difficult, soul-stretching, exhausting and occasional sublime year of my life....and I feel like so much of the current cultural discourse only skims the surface and glosses over the rough patches. Keep up the good work, I wish I could come visit you!
Namaste
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| Kali Bird Isis
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11-05-2007 09:23 PM ET (US)
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Hi all,
I cried tonight after reading through all the MotherWoman material. I live on the coast of Maine and have a friend in Franklin County who sent me your web address. I moved here from southern Vermont over 8 years ago and immediately my marriage of 16 years fell apart. I've spent the last 8 years learning how to be a single mom, largely unsupported by a community that is too spread out and reticent to recognize the needs of single mothers. I've been getting really angry lately, finally no longer depressed but so unwilling to leave my kids while I go out and work 30 miles away so that I can financially support us. I really have gotten it recently that I, too, unwittingly bought into the cultural norm that any one not out there working full time is negligent and bad. So the guilt I suffer because I can't and won't do that is big but I also have to keep figuring it out, being creative and keeping some $ coming in. I am angry enough about this issue to begin getting politically active about it. I'd love to hear from other single moms and how they're figuring this piece out. We may end up in western Mass eventually-who knows! But in the meantime, I want to see about starting a branch of this beautiful work you're doing up here....is that possible?? And who can I talk to about that? Also, how do I get my hands on the MotheringManifesto to show it here? Thanks so much and joy to you all...
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| Emma
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09-17-2007 08:37 PM ET (US)
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Hi!
I'm wondering what events might be happening in the near future for pregnant women looking for general info and resources/socializing with other moms-to-be. I didn't see anything past August on the events page. Thanks in advance for any suggestions!
-Emma
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| Apryl
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09-16-2007 10:31 AM ET (US)
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Hi,
I have been trying to send an e-mail to Abbie about an event on Sept. 29, and granted she already sent out a correction e-mail, stating the address was wrong, I can't get the new one to work either.
Thank you.
Best, Apryl
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