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Topic: Mommy Too! :: About Being A Mom-To-Be
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Messages 96-88 deleted by topic administrator between 07-15-2008 02:38 AM and 05-15-2008 02:40 AM
Jjoohhnnyy  87
11-13-2007 08:24 PM ET (US)
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olay  86
09-18-2007 11:41 AM ET (US)
Good for you! It most likely was not an easy decision to make as we all want companionship at one point or the other. It is a choice you won't regret though. All the best!
Oh baby4407  85
09-18-2007 08:49 AM ET (US)
I spent all day thinking about the question Ed asked about if I was looking to be in relationship. I came to a definitive answer...NO

I think my energy will be best spent getting to know my daughter when that time comes.
olay  84
09-17-2007 02:15 PM ET (US)
My weekend was good…am recovering from a little cold but all is well. I am so glad to hear the contractions have stopped. I will answer the questions as you asked them. You said:-
 
“1) Adding another man into my life this point ok with the
pregnancy or not will definately make things between me and the
donor more complicated, I think.”……… You are right about that! No new romantic relationships at this time to muddy the waters some more. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Let him know that you are absolutely not interested in a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship right now. No intimate trysts, no romance, no on/off again stolen kisses, nada! And keep your word. Give yourself a long stretch of time, from now till maybe the baby turns one, or about a year. Most people can talk the talk but will not walk the walk. Actions speak louder than words. If he sticks around with those set limits in place and does not harass you for more, then the idea of contemplating a deeper relationship could be considered. Don’t be tempted to use him as a source of jealousy and competition for the donor though, let sleeping dogs lie! You sound like a very smart, articulate lady. NO MORE DRAMA!


 “2) Who's to say that two years from now the way he feels today will be the same? Now my daughter has this "father" who is gone because he and mommy don't get along. I would be back in the same place with him as I am with her father now.”…….That’s why you need the test of time in this situation. If after a year he is still around, being a true friend with no benefits, your friendship would have built and cemented your relationship. Don’t be afraid!

 “3) What if the donor decides after the baby is born that he wants to be her father? How does that affect all the relationships? We as her parents will have to do certain things together. Should Ed and I get together how do both of them participate in our lives without it being too complicated?”……….The bottom-line is respect! Develop a sense of self-respect and self-preservation! Both guys will treat you as you see and treat yourself. If the donor decides he wants to be the father no problem, even if Ed is in the picture at that time. With mutual respect on all sides, although problems/issues may arise, they will be manageable. Life for everyone is full of issues, problems, challenges but the most important thing is to be able to address them with logic, wisdom and common sense.

All is well and in my book, your future is BRIGHT!
Oh baby4407  83
09-17-2007 09:23 AM ET (US)
How was your weekend? Last week was a little crazy. I had to go to the hospital for contraction monitoring. I was a little scared about that but everything turned out ok. I think maybe I was stressing too much and that brought on cramping.
 
Do you remember us talking about what to do if there was another man, well there is a guy. I have known him for a few months, actually before I knew I was pregnant. He asked me out last week. I told him that I am pregnant and he reacted better then I thought he would. He is ok/accepting of it. We went through the is the father involved and all that stuff. Anyway, I found out last night that while the donor was trying to get me to terminate my friend (Ed) was trying to get his girlfriend not to terminate. She did. I am not sure but I think maybe he may be trying to get from me what he couldn't from his girlfriend. I don't want him to try and be a part of my life so he could have the child she would give him. He asked if I was looking to be in a relationship and how I would go about explaining to my daughter that he's daddy (assuming that he will be doing those everyday fatherly things for her) but the donor is her father.

I have several problems with his thoughts but don't know how to let him know without feeling like I am being mean. 1) He will not push her father out of her life. That is for the donor to do himself. Adding another man into my life this point ok with the pregnancy or not will definately make things between me and the donor more complicated, I think. 2) Who's to say that two years from know the way he feels today will be the same? Now my daughter has this "father" who is gone because he and mommy don't get along. I would be back in the same place with him as I am with her father now. 3) What if the donor decides after the baby is born that he wants to be her father? How does that affect all the relationships? We as her parents will have to do certain things together. Should Ed and I get together how do both of them participate in our lives without it being too complicated?

With all that being said HELP PLEASE!!!!!! I don't even know where to start with all of this.
Arlene  82
09-15-2007 09:46 PM ET (US)
Want to win great prizes for mommies and babies? Go to
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olay  81
09-14-2007 04:13 PM ET (US)
Hey Oh baby....I was beginning to get a little worried! Am glad all is going well with you. I am fine and the girls are back in school.

I really believe communication goes a long way and helps clear up a lot of potential problems. Have a lovely weekend too.
Oh baby4407  80
09-14-2007 04:03 PM ET (US)
Hi Olay,

I hope that you have been having a good couple of weeks. Just wanted to let you know that we are doing well. I had two decent conversations with the donor. While we haven't come to any definate conclusions as to if he will be an active participant, we have gotten a lot off our chest and out into the open. I hope all is well over in California and that you and the girls are well. Enjoy your weekend and I'll talk to you later.
olay  79
09-04-2007 05:04 PM ET (US)
Now I get it, I thought you were thinking of moving to get away from him. The story sure sounds complicated but you seem to make out the important facts e.g. moving closer to your sisters who are younger and would be more helpful. By the way, the condom is to avoid std's, it is worth the investment, I believe. The baby is a blessing, herpes, chlamydia, warts and hiv are not.
Oh baby4407  78
09-04-2007 02:22 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 09-04-2007 02:29 PM
I know that I never insisted we use condoms after I told him and I have thought about it, so I asked him today. He said I'm already pregnant right what would that do now? Why didn't I say to use them before I got pregnant?
Sometimes habits are hard to break. I don't know that sex with him will even be an issue at this point. He is still very upset about the fact that I kept the baby. Sex with someone else is more than I can handle.

The move would be for support. I live in PA by myself. My dad is in NY (as is the donor) but he isn't really on board with my decision. I don't think he will be that helpful. My grandmother is nearing her 80's (and lives in NY too), she doesn't drive as much anymore and she only feels comfortable driving in familiar areas. I wouldn't put that on her. Her own kids have done it to her for years. In GA, I have both my sisters who are supportive of my decision having both been in the same situation. Both of their husbands have the big brother thing down especially when it comes to me. They are more then willing to be the figure that my daughter needs. I have a bunch of friends there already. I don't think it's running I think it's being comfortable. I wouldn't go because of my dad and Grandmother. He helps her write out her bills but I am authorized on his accounts should something happen to him. I have a responsibility to myself, my daughter and them. It feels like a tug of war that I can't win.
olay  77
09-04-2007 12:57 PM ET (US)
My weekend was lovely, thanks. I really sense your confusion and pray you get some peace of mind soon. I guess if you can't stop being intimate with him and use protection that'd be better than nothing. Would he mind if you asked him to wear condoms? You may still pay for the physical trysts in emotional currency though. Please, no new relationships as far as sex goes :-)

As they say during airplane rides, if you have a baby or child with you, make sure to put on your oxygen mask before trying to put one on the baby. It is the same with your situation, if you make the best choice for you, it ultimately would benefit your baby. I don't think you need to make a drastic change like moving, remember you need the support and running away never solves the problem at hand. Learning and growing through this difficulty makes for a stronger you. Take a deep breath, it will be well.
Oh baby4407  76
09-04-2007 11:21 AM ET (US)
I hope you enjoyed your holiday weekend olay.

I do sometimes think that maybe he isn't only sleeping with me and no we don't use protection. I think the only reason that I do continue to sleep with him is to satify the extra horny periods of the pregnancy. I wouldn't ask another man to do it only because that brings a whole other factor into an already crazy situation. I have given thought to moving again but with aging relatives I don't think I can really do it. I had a really rough morning thinking about what is the right thing to do. I feel lost as to whether or not I am making the right decision for my daughter. Ultimately I am all she has and I have to do what's best for her.
olay  75
08-31-2007 07:44 PM ET (US)
Am no prude but must ask if you are using protection. I don't think he's being exclusive with you and I'd hate for you to end up with a STD.....okay, let me get off my safe sex soapbox.

It is so essential not to introduce your daughter to the new guy, whenever he shows up, until your'e pretty sure he's the one (in my humble opinion). It is like they say wait b4 letting your parents meet the guy, I think with kids it is even more important to avoid a revolving door scenario.

Well, pregnant women do get horny....been there done that. The only concern is the emotional vulnerability. If you can bear it, I mean the off and on again relationship, I guess then you'd be able to deal with it. If it would be an issue, it may be best to avoid such dalliances. Okay, am not being honest, if you were my sis, cousin or close friend I'd say....stop it already! If the lines keep being blurred he'd keep sleeping with you, running off, coming back, hanging around, running away... and the cycle continues. Have a lovely labor day weekend!
Oh baby4407  74
08-31-2007 12:24 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 08-31-2007 12:25 PM
Oprah is definately the way we don't want to go. I don't know that I won't be with someone wonderful but then the question becomes - do you bring the child around him and when? I was in a relationship for maybe three years with a guy and his son. When we parted ways I couldn't have cared less about J, I was more concerned for his son. We tried to keep things as steady as possible but it became too much for me. I don't want to do that to my daughter.

As far as the donor, I saw him intimately last weekend. That was after 7wks apart. I don't think that it has ever been that long between hanging out or visits. I wouldn't cut him out only because it's our relationship that failed not theirs. I have told him that I would not stop him from seeing her, she's his child too (want her or not). I haven't set up boundaries on my end. He seems to think that if we don't speak than everything will go away. I feel like he's pushed back from me. I called him yesterday to ask him to visit for my birthday this weekend, he didn't answer the phone. He called back while I was in class. I called him after class and told him it was a mistake that I called. He got upset and asked if I was playing with him. I told him no I intentionally called him but realized after that that I shouldn't have. (I can't get past him if he keeps laying in my bed!) I asked him if I had the right to ask him to do things for me. He said yea, I guess. I told him I didn't feel the same way and hung up. Where ever we end up I need it to be consistant. Either we're on or we're off but the back and forth isn't good for me. He says we're off but he still wants to sleep with me and I let him. I have to stop that! I don't honestly know what he is planning after the baby is born. He doesn't know it's a girl. He doesn't want her to have his last name and he doesn't plan on signing the birth certificate. I really don't see his purpose. It is his choice to forge a relationship with her or not.
olay  73
08-31-2007 11:42 AM ET (US)
"The other side of that is while our kids will be the same age I don't want my daughter to be confused or feel rejected when she's old enough
to understand that her dad isn't around."

I totally understand your concerns re:the above quote. For a child, if the 2 girls are raised together in close proximity and with the same father/father-figure, the time would come when she would be old enough to realize the other child means more to the guy than she does.....we don't want her on Oprah in the future scarred for life because of the feelings of rejection :-) How do you know that by the time she gets older, (4-5) you would not have fallen in love for real and she would have her very own Dad? My motto in life is expect and hope for the best but plan for the worst.

I respect your decision to not have the donor support her. It would be good for him to put something aside on his own, just a sign of being a responsible adult, but....if wishes were horses beggars would ride!

Are you still seeing him? I'm not saying you should cut him out of your life but the boundaries need to be clearly set. He really needs to understand where you stand on issues. Does he plan to be around for the birth? Is he still hoping to continue to see you/be intimate with you after the birth? All these things need to be discussed if they have not been dealt with because with a child on the way, conscious living is the name of the game. Do you still love him? You would be setting yourself up for emotional and psychological distress if he continues his on again/off again antics during this hormonally emotional-charged time in your life. Let him know a lady in California is ardently praying he grows up and wises up fast!
Oh baby4407  72
08-30-2007 10:59 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 08-30-2007 11:23 PM
I hoped for the father-figure too close to home but my father doesn't really support my decision. On the same hand he understood (or made it seem) that it was my decision and I have to deal/live with it. I did find that figure in a friend of mine here. His girlfriend is due two days before me. The other side of that is while our kids will be the same age I don't want my daughter to be confused or feel rejected when she's old enough to understand that her dad isn't around.

I don't want the donor to support us (financially). That is one thing I definately have to give my dad props for. He made it so I don't want to have to depend on anyone for money. My dad is awful with money. The donor keeps saying that he wants to be able to support us. At the present moment he is unemployed. I told him he has to get himself back on his feet and not to make me a priority. He said nothing else is more important than me. I think the overall concensus is that he needs to grow up.

I don't think that its a regret but a nagging question. Did I make the right decision for her? I kept her but she has no father. I got pregnant five years ago and when the + and - showed up I knew I wasn't going to terminate. My dad made me terminate then and I live with the shoulda, coulda, woulda, everyday. I wasn't doing it twice. I know it can be done. I just hope that I have enough support for those rough days.
olay  71
08-30-2007 10:43 AM ET (US)
I honestly think that as difficult as it may be not to have a father at home, it does not mean that her life would not be worth living. I hope you'd be able to find men who can be father-figures in her life.

The child support is not for you, it is for your daughter and she should not be cheated out of her right. He really needs to be responsible and may think twice about having a third child if he starts feeling the pinch in his pocket. Also, he may end up feeling connected when the child is here, outside the womb versus a being he does not see. He needs to search within himself why he is not willing to sign the release. He needs to grow up!

Whatever the case, please try not to have regrets about not terminating. It seems daunting but people have done it successfully before and it will be the same for you!
Oh baby4407  70
08-30-2007 08:44 AM ET (US)
What do I do when I get to the point there I feel like my daughter has been cheated because I didn't want to terminate and her father isn't around. He has said several times that he will not be around for her but he also won't sign a paternity release. If he feels burdened like he doesn't want her and can't support us, why won't he sign it? I have never asked him to support me but I think he feels like it may be his duty as a man and father. What do I do then?
olay  69
08-28-2007 05:04 PM ET (US)
Am glad to hear you have support. Hang in there. Another email addy for me is ebony.naija@gmail.com

 I am in CA which is like a world away but I will be sending lots of positive vibes and prayers your way.
Oh baby4407  68
08-28-2007 04:27 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 08-28-2007 04:29 PM
Wow...three girls, I don't know how I'll do it with my one. I have always told him that I was going to do it with or without him. In fact when I told him I was pregnant I told him that his involvement from this point on is up to him. I do have sisters but the live in GA. I live in PA (the donor in NY). People keep saying that I should move near my sisters but my dad and grandmother are in NY so I won't be moving unless I can get them to move too. I knew that he didn't want to have any more kids (he has a daughter already, age 5) but I didn't think he would react like this. I'm not some girl that he met a few months ago, we were together for four years. I have been making and going to all my appts. I have even invited him to come and he told me I was torturing him because he doesn't want this baby. I don't belong to a church but I think that I will find a church home soon.
olay  67
08-28-2007 01:54 PM ET (US)
First of all...congratulations and kudos on your bravery at doing this even with the knowledge that you'd primarily be the caregiver. I will not front and say it'd be easy...it will be rough but at the end you'd be glad you made this decision. upport is essential! Do you have sisters, family, friends? You'd need people around to show you love during this awesome time. Confidently let the sperm-donor know you're going all the way, with or without him. Set boundaries! He needs to realize he is a dad-to-be and if he does not face reality soon, reality would be facing him. Take care of you. Make your prenatal appts. Do you belong to any church or religious affiliation? They can also be a source of support. Pls post often to let me know how you're doing -I have 3 girls, ages 9, 4, 1 but luckily their Dad is involved.
Oh baby4407  66
08-28-2007 01:06 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 08-28-2007 01:07 PM
I am new to this site. I actually need some help/encouragement/advice from anyone that can help. I am 23yrs old and will be 23wks pregnant on Friday. I didn't intend to get pregnant but I did and I am enjoying every day of it for the most part. The father of the baby and I have a very strained relationship now because I wouldn't terminate like he wanted. He only responds to me via text message when he feels like it. I just recently saw him after 7wks. He asked me to take my shirt off. He rubbed my belly twice but the look that was on his face was hurt/disbelief. It hurt me to see that look on his face beacause of a decision that I made. I sometimes wish that he would be as active a participant in the pregnancy as he is in the act that got me pregnant. I know he won't be around so how do I deal with being a young, single mom?
1  65
07-20-2007 05:45 PM ET (US)
3
Erica  64
05-24-2007 10:01 AM ET (US)
to cheryl...God makes no mistakes and has no accidents. P.U.S.H.-Pray Until Something Happens! And even when it does, continue to Pray. He'll never bring you to something that He won't bring you through. I wish you all the miracles and blessings your heart and arms can hold. Read all you can and get online as often as you can to visit websites that can instruct you on what you don't know and point you in the direction of countless resources. It's a good way to get support from other moms. I have found the magazines, websites and support groups to be invaluable to me while pregnant with my first child. Keep your head up and put God first. You'll be just fine!

Peace!
Jacquelyn  63
03-12-2007 07:05 PM ET (US)
Hi everyone! I am a stay at home mom to a 12 mos old little girl and i am 28wks pregnant with a little boy. My husband and I moved from alabama to michigan last august and we have no family here. I've met up with a sahm group but I am always the only minority there, so its been a little rough. I'm trying to find some other women of color who have young children or who stay at home. So far its a no go, but hopefully it will happen. It is nice to know that there are women like me.
Laura  62
02-13-2007 12:15 PM ET (US)
Hi all, I recently had a baby (4 months ago), and I'm loving every minute of it! While I was pregnant, I found the coolest thing . . . it was a belly casting kit. At first I was like, why would anyone do this, but my husband talked me into it and told me that it would be a cool keepsake. I eventually caved in and got one. It was such a cool experience. I have since decorated it and hung it in my son's nursery . . . decorated for the Boston Red Sox (my husband's favorite team). I just wanted to pass along the idea to all of you! I found it at http://www.originalbellyworks.com.
Carrie  61
01-27-2007 06:01 PM ET (US)
Hey,
 I am 17 and I just found out that I am having a baby. I was extremely shoked when i found out, but it is not as bad as I thought. I am still with the father of the baby, and we both have jobs. I am actually still going to high school, in CNA(certifed Nurse Aide) class and attending college classes. So having a baby at this point will be hard for me, But like many others have said, God wouldnt of put me in this situation if he thought I couldnt handle it. I am thankful that I am healthy and for having family that supports me.
olay  60
12-31-2006 11:29 PM ET (US)
TO CHERYL- HOPE YOU ARE WELL. I CAN'T TELL U IT'LL BE EASY BECAUSE IT WILL NOT....BUT YOU WILL MAKE IT THROUGH,,,STAY HEALTHY, GO FOR YOUR OB VISITS, STAY POSITIVE AND SURROUND YOURSELF WITH SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE. REMAIN BLESSED!
iAMblessed  59
12-03-2006 12:06 AM ET (US)
Congrats to all who have been given the chance of a little miracle! We have certainly been blessed! My husband and I have been married 9 years and have a 7 year old son. We tried having another child soon after our son was born, but apparrently God had a different plan. After several miscarriages and a DNC, we are now 13 weeks with a healthy baby! I have unfortunately had several complications, bleeding, nausea, migraines, and more and more bleeding with bedrest, but it will all be worth it in the end! For those of you who have had complications, hang in there! Goodluck to all and just wanted to say hi!
BlessedMind  58
11-27-2006 10:25 AM ET (US)
Hello,

I'm new to the group. I'm 32 wks (as of yesterday) and I'm SO SO EXCITED about meeting my lil one. Thankfully my pregnancy has been smoothe sailings.

To those that have recently found out that they are pregnant I say to remain calm....it's a beautiful thing once the shock is gone. Trust in GOD and come to believe that HE does NOT put anymore on you than what you can bear. There's a plan and purpose for everything....we just don't recognize what they are in the present.
cheryl  57
11-26-2006 05:13 PM ET (US)
hello everyone.. i just found out that i am 8 weeks pregnant yesterday, and i am only 16 years old. i am a little bit scared for the baby. already. i have a job, and car but im still in school, and i will only be 17 when the baby will be here. can any one help me try to relax and think positive.. i mean a am a lil bit excited. but i got pregnant and im on birth control and we used a condom. a lot of teens dont take you all seriously. hey, ill never get pregnant. that will never happen to me. but i said the same thing. was 2 hours of pleasure worth 18 years of raising a baby? my sister had her baby when she was 18. and my mom had me when she was 17. but im scared that i wont be a good mom. help me? (unless that is impossible...) thanks to all
Kenyatta  56
11-24-2006 08:46 PM ET (US)
Deleted by author 11-24-2006 09:07 PM
Jamila  55
10-10-2006 12:39 AM ET (US)
Wow Keisha,

    I hope you check back and get this message. Please try to work it out with your man. He may really be scared of hurting the baby. They don't know. Some men may need you to educate them. He can't feel what you feel. Just take control for him. Tell him this is a great bonding experience for the three of you. A supportive man should not be rare, maybe it is though. My husband was there, but he did not rub my feet as much as I wanted him too. He did do the late night creeps to Taco Bell, I was a Chalupa junkie. I also craved Hagen Dazs Vanilla Swiss Almond. But keep trying and keep the black family together.
   54
10-04-2006 05:16 PM ET (US)
Deleted by topic administrator 10-06-2006 01:10 PM
Keisha  53
08-16-2006 03:34 PM ET (US)
Hey everyone I am 7 months pregnant now and I can't believe that I am about to be a mother and responsible for a little person. I have been going through alot recently in my relationship. I know that a truly supportive man during pregnancy is rare, but I would like my man to be somewhat supportive. I accuse him of cheating now a days because we are not having sex, but he claims to have a complex (hes scared to hurt the baby) whatever, I really want to give up but I only have 2 months to go basically and I love him. I just want to know from other moms have they been through the same thing and any advice for me?
   52
07-26-2006 08:08 AM ET (US)
Deleted by topic administrator 07-26-2006 12:32 PM
Lili  51
07-25-2006 12:23 AM ET (US)
Hello to every woman who has more than 3 children and is sain. I've got 3 boys 8,4 and 2 plus another on the way. I'm not going to say its all that bad cause it's not. I find it a blessing and deffinitely at times overwhelming. I dont have much of a support system of friends or family. I consider myself to be a good mother and friend, but I like to keep it real. I dont have time for bochinche meaning gossip. I do however would love to meet mother's who like to bring their children to the park, beach or have playdates. I go to times square church in manhattan on 51st street and 7th ave, so on sundays I bring my boys to the park downtown in mahattan. I'll be some support if someones willing to be a friend. peace.
 
Messages 50-42 deleted by topic administrator between 07-22-2006 02:57 PM and 07-21-2006 09:00 AM
Jaya  41
07-17-2006 10:00 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 07-17-2006 10:02 PM
Hello Prettigrrl, My son is 10 months and is now 23lbs, but he too was a big baby and people now say that he is going to be a football player. My husband and I are also healthy and in good shape. We also practice a healthy life style. My family would always say he is getting fat or he is fat. I really do not like the word "fat." My baby is healthy and cute as can be. So I guess my advise to you would be don't worry about what they think. Your child is perfect just the way he is. No baby is one particular size. It's kind of like advertising today. They all show that you need to look and be a certain size. You don't. I think that your son is perfect and don't let anyone tell you differently. I always let them know I was uncomfortable with them calling him fat. If it bothers you to be blunt, just word it in a nice way if need be. He will grow out of it as he becomes mobile as well. I wish someone would tell me to put my baby on a diet. I would tell them that my baby is on a diet, a healthy baby diet and if that means 22lbs healthy than so be it. I hope this helps.
Prettigrrl  40
07-17-2006 09:45 PM ET (US)
Hello, everyone. I'm a new mom to a very healthy six month old boy. He's a BIG baby--22 lbs. I'd like to know how I can tactfully address comments from strangers and family about my son's weight. Neither me nor my husband is overweight (we were both fat babies, too). Also his doctor told us not to worry since we both practice healthy lifestyles and our son has great motor skills. I'm just sick of comments, especially from white people, who look at him and say, "Wow! He's going to be a football player, isn't he?" Or comments from my in-laws who say he should be on a diet. Who puts a baby on a diet? What do you all think?
sisterwalk  39
07-17-2006 06:05 AM ET (US)
Edited by author 07-17-2006 06:12 AM
1stteachernurse,
I have twin boys who will be 4 next month Aug. I hv mounds of advice but first please take this time to develop a good support network they will become your lifeline for ongoing well needed assistance. The experience of multiple births is very different unique and special. Unlike myself you already hv parenting experienc so that is more than have the battle. In time things will become second nature. If you haven't already done so try to spend the last few weeks reading any twin birth publication you can find. Twins magazine is also a good early resource its worth the intial subscription for a parent magazine that has information that is very relavent. Reaching out to other twin/multiple parents can be a great resource although I found the natl mulitiple mother groups to be a limited resource for a mother of color. Feel free to contact me directly via email sisterwalk@yahoo.com Lastly, please remember that twins are simply God's miracle of allowing two siblings to share a birthing experience but they are two individual people who should be treated just like other siblings to the best of your ability especially considering their older sibling will already feel left out at times due to their unique attachment.
Jaya  38
07-16-2006 06:24 PM ET (US)
Thank you First Teacher First nurse, I really needed to hear that from someone who has been through it and has succeded. Congrats on your twins. I will keep them in my prayers to be healthy babies. I also wanted to know if you are a nurse. I am going to school to eventually become a midwife. You can e-mail me at stephenandjaya@comcast.net if you would like. CONGRATS to you all, this is a very fun and exciting time.
FirstteacherFirstnurse  37
06-30-2006 10:09 AM ET (US)
Jaya, just read your postings...don't worry...keep trying. I and my husband went through the same thing: we have one child, we're both healthy and were ready to have another (my son is 5 now). It seemed no matter how we tried, every month that good old cycle would still come. We started to question if something happened (or was done to) my reproductive abilities after my son's birth. But we just held on to faith and kept our desire alive...now we are expecting twins! I found that sometimes certain circumstances in your life keep your body/mind/spirit back from conceiving...when all three are clear and at peace, you will be ready to create new life...good luck!
FirstteacherFirstnurse  36
06-30-2006 09:52 AM ET (US)
Greetings Sisters, I just found this website...I am expecting twins in about 3 months...was wondering if anyone can share info/experience about birthing and raising twins! Thanks
 
Messages 35-33 deleted by topic administrator 06-19-2006 12:46 PM
Jaya  32
06-16-2006 10:16 AM ET (US)
Congrats Brennan's mom. I think it is amazing. My son's name is Brennan and he is about 10 months old. We are not pregnant yet though. We are trying. When is Brennan's birthday?
Erika  31
06-16-2006 08:53 AM ET (US)
Congrats Brennan's mom. My due date is Sept 14th. I'll be having a c-section, since my first born was a c-section, on Sept 6th. It's a girl and we are so excited! Good luck with everything and take care.
Brennan's Mom  30
06-15-2006 09:38 AM ET (US)
Hey Ladies! I just passed a pregnancy test this morning!!! I haven't told anyone yet...I can't wait until my husband gets home from work tonight! We have a 10 month old, so I'm thinking they'll be 18 months apart! Wow! I think my due date is around February 19th. Thanks for sharing my excitment!!! Congrats to you all!
Erika  29
06-13-2006 02:28 PM ET (US)
Thanks Alexandria,
I tried the "sugarsbabies" website and it appears to be down; I've even tried phoning and the number is disconnected. If you know of any other nursery decor websites for african american babies please email them to me at dru720@yahoo.com. Thanks again, and I hope everything is going well with your pregnancy. Good luck and get some rest.
Alexandria  28
06-07-2006 10:25 PM ET (US)
Hello Everyone, I'm 23 weeks pregnant with my first child, and I'm so happy to have this website. It has been the one of the best sites for information I have seen. Sugarsbabies.com has alot of nursery decor for african american babies.
Erika  27
06-07-2006 11:29 AM ET (US)
Hello all. I'm a mother to be at 6 1/2 months. This is my second child. I have a 6 y/o son and this is a girl. My husband and I are really excited! I was wondering if any of you have found any websites that have nursery decor (bedding, wall hangings, etc)with african american babies, fairies, or princesses on them. I've had no luck and if I'm decorating the babies room with fairies, I'd rather the fairies look like her.. :)
lisa  26
06-06-2006 09:25 PM ET (US)
Hello..I am 18 weeks pregnant..And I am sooooo exited..I find out what I am having really soon..the heart rate is 157..I hope im having a boy..But It dont matter as long as I have a healthy baby!!
mommy#2  25
05-07-2006 01:44 PM ET (US)
I am a little upset because i just found mommytoo and i am 7 months pregnant! I was looking for a website like this for the longest and I just found it..on the up side I am so happy that "WE" can get together and talk about what is going on with our pregnancy. I am on my second child. My first was a boy and he is three. I am carrying the same way but with different symptoms now, so lets see what we are having! i find out on the 18th of this month.
Keisha  24
05-05-2006 03:15 PM ET (US)
I also just found mommytoo! I am having my first child so far I am happy. I am 12 weeks pregnant but by the time people read this I will be 13 weeks pregnant. Yes I am so close to my second trimester and I can't wait. I have been reading everything so far about pregnancy. I love that this site is for the sistah cause there is just a few and I had to search for this one. Good luck all of my sistahs remember no matter how bad it gets you will have a beautiful child in a few months.
mrsdubose  23
04-16-2006 12:07 PM ET (US)
Hi Everyone!! I just found MommyToo as well. I just found out I am pregnant as well. This will be my 1st child. It was really a surprise. I have all the emotions excitement, fear, awe, and nervousness. I am 5 weeks pregnant. I have not gone to the doctor yet but the due date calculate said Dec 15th. before CHRISTMAS..YEAH!! My husband and I got married last August after being together for 5 years. I haven't told my mom yet because she is coming up to visit me for Spring Break (I am a school teacher). I am going to surprise her with a gift and inside will be a bib that says "I love my Grandma". I can't wait to see the look on her face. She has NO idea...I will tell you all how it goes on Wednesday when she comes...hehe...Eboni
MommyRN  22
04-11-2006 10:39 PM ET (US)
Hi,
I'm so happy MommmyToo added this meeting space. I stumbled upon the page because I was looking for resources for mother's of color.
Anywho, I can relate to a couple of postings that I read.
I'm pregnant with my second child now, due mid-November. My first child, a boy, will turn one on the first. I'm finishing my nursing degree now and I have a position lined up to work nights. I figure this will enable us to save on daycare expenses. My son had to attend daycare while I was finishing up this last year.
So I'm expecting some changes but I am committed to being at home with my little ones.
I've had a lot of different experiences through school with various issues surrounding pregnancy, breastfeeding, natural v. epidural, ect. So if anyone has any questions you can feel free to ask or e-mail me at mawusee@aol.com.
Best and happy pregnancies to you all.
Jaya  21
04-06-2006 10:34 PM ET (US)
Edited by author 04-06-2006 10:35 PM
Hello Ladies,

I am a mother of one and I am trying for another one. We have been trying since Feb. and nothing so far. I know it hasn't been very long, I really just need someone to talk to about it. Someone who has been through it and that can give me some pointers. I guess I am upset about it because when you were young your parents basically told you that if you kiss a boy you would become pregnant. Why is it so hard? I am healthy and so is my husband. I don't know. Maybe I am trying to hard. I would just like some insight, something to keep my hopes up.

(we would like to have four all together one day.)

Thanks
Taryn  20
02-23-2006 12:30 PM ET (US)
Hi
I having been trying to find someone to talk to since i found out that i was pregnant. I'm almost 6 weeks, my baby is due oct 22 2006 and i want to make sure that i am doing every thing right. I do not want to screw up at all. Is there any one out there that feels as uptight as i feel. Write me @ lifelovesu@hotmail.com
kelly  19
02-14-2006 06:47 PM ET (US)
Thanks for your help!
kelly
Mommy Too! MagazinePerson was signed in when posted  18
02-08-2006 12:52 PM ET (US)
Hi Kelly,

Send her to MommyToo.com first ;-) Hope she enjoys visiting us online.

As far as print publications, I recommend Child magazine and Parents. There is a new parenting magazine for posh parenting called Cookie that has been getting a lot of attention lately.

There are tons of pregnancy and parenting magazines out there. Go to a really good newsstand and persue the offerings. For me, the ones above are the best I've read.
kelly  17
02-06-2006 01:03 PM ET (US)
i should also mention that she is 26 years old.
thanks again.
kelly  16
02-06-2006 12:23 PM ET (US)
hello,
my best friend is about 3 months pregnant and is a big magazine addict. i wanted to get her a subscription to a magazine that deals with both pregnancy and new parenting issues... and ideas?
   15
01-01-2006 09:28 PM ET (US)
Deleted by topic administrator 01-27-2006 06:21 AM
Salasha Singleton  14
10-17-2005 02:35 PM ET (US)
Hey Brandi,
 
I'm Salasha and I can totally relate to your situation. I had my son when I was 18 and in HS. I had him 2 days before graduation and my doctor allowed me to march. The great thing about it is that your married so you have help. I wasn't married at the time, but my husband and I got married a couple of months after having my son. You just hang in there, if I could give you any advice I would say eat healthy and excercise that is one thing that I didn't do and I regretted it afterwards. If you ever want to chat more. you can email me at salashasingleton05@yahoo.com Talk with ya later
QT - Brandi <qtopic+27-U8DeHADhQkHDX@quicktopic.com> wrote:

  
---------------------------------
 Yahoo! Music Unlimited - Access over 1 million songs. Try it free. < replied-to message removed by QT >
Brandi  13
10-11-2005 10:27 AM ET (US)
i AM 18 AND AM DUE IS MARCH 2006 AND STILL IN HIGH SCHOOL THIS IS MY 1ST KID I AM MARRIED BUT MY HUSBAND DOESNT WANNA KNOW WHAT WE ARE HAVEING AND I DO I AM JUST WANNA HELP WITH BEING READY FOR THE BABY
Marisa  12
09-14-2005 08:48 PM ET (US)
Hi, I have a serious and thought provoking question. I think I'm pregnant again. I have an 11 month old. I work full-time. What daily challenges and advantages am I facing with having 2 small children? I'm excited but really scared at the same time. I hope several women can be really honest with me.
Katey  11
09-05-2005 12:39 PM ET (US)
Hi I am new. My husband and I are expecting our first child in January. We have an ultrasound this week(hope the baby will spread those legs for us). I actually have a question for anyone who owns a volkswagon new beetle. What kind of travel system should we look at. The trunk is odd shaped and we really don't have the finances to trade the car in. I can stand up in the back seat so the baby carrier is not the problem it's the stroller that has to go in the trunk. Help if anyone can!!
salasha  10
08-20-2005 01:15 AM ET (US)
Hi all I am a 23 year old with 4 little ones (yes 4). After disconnecting from the army I started my journey as a SAHM. I have 3 girls 2, 1, and 2 months and 1 boy 5.(He starts kidergarten next week.) My biggest issue is drawing the line knowing when to take a break. The army has me set in a way that everything has to be done and now that I have 4 children a husband and a home (good thing I don't have any pets) to take care for I feel like there is simply no end to the day. I consider myself pretty organized, but I want to be able to spend time with my children, and I feel that I'm putting them aside sometimes just to get something done. I feel that I am still new at being at home full time. I can say it is not a cake walk, but I want to be able to be there for my kids listen to them laugh with talk to them, be involved with them. I want to build a relationship with them that will hold strong for them in there adult life. I want for them what I didn't have. Talk to me ladies
Aislynn  9
08-10-2005 11:55 PM ET (US)
Hello all. Just came across MommyToo searching for Holly Robison Peets maternity line. Too bad there are no Mervyn stores on the east coast. :(

I'm an early childhood teacher in the public school and I am considering staying home for a couple of years after my baby is born. (due in January 2006)Financially, my husband and I would be able to handle things, but I am very interested in working from my home.

Does anyone know of any legitimate websites/ companies for mothers interested in working from home? If so, please contact me.

I appreciate it.

Aislynn :)
Mommy Too! MagazinePerson was signed in when posted  8
08-09-2005 05:20 PM ET (US)
Hi LovSBby,
You sound very concerned, with good reason. Things aren't normal in your body right now so I would suggest you go to your doctor again and see what's going on. It sounds like you have pregnancy symptoms, but you definitely want to know for sure so you can begin preparing your mind and body for a new baby. Let us know what happens.

To your good health!
Jennifer James
Editor
lovSBby  7
08-09-2005 03:25 PM ET (US)
well I had a period on june 20 and than I had sex on july 4 and I started having bad cramping so I went to the er on july 18 and the doc took a pee and blood sample and he said both came back negtive and now it is august the 9 and my boobs are sore and spotting clear stuff out of them and Iv got clear discharge and headaches everyday and werid feelings in my tummy so I took a htp and the second line was so very light u had to look at it in the light to see it and Iv got the vomiting also so could I still be pregnant please someone answer me. thank u
Andrea  6
04-21-2005 08:57 PM ET (US)
Hi,

I'm new to the board...just found mommytoo in a google search.

I am 15 weeks pregnant with my first baby. :) i'm due oct. 13th. are there any other october moms out there? would love to chit-chat.

as i start my second trimester my m/s hasn't been as bad. my first trimester felt like 9 months by itself. i'm ready to give birth already. :)
AAA's Mom  5
03-23-2005 04:33 PM ET (US)
Hi Miasha,

Baby number 3? You're brave!! My #2 will be 4 months tomorrow, and I am done!!! Is that what you thought? Or did you plan it???
Maisha  4
03-21-2005 02:37 PM ET (US)
Hello all,

I just found this message board and this magazine. I am 15 weeks pregnant, with baby # 3, Tuesday and would like to talk to other moms pregnant or not.
   3
02-07-2005 11:33 PM ET (US)
Deleted by topic administrator 02-08-2005 09:27 AM
AAA'sMom  2
01-11-2005 05:56 PM ET (US)
Hi! Congratulations on baby. Has s/he come yet? I just had my 2nd in November; my DD is 5yrs old and managing 2 IS DEFINITELY a challenge, though my DD has been a real help 80% of the time, which is all I can ask I guess. I definitely am glad I didn't have them back to back. Hopefully, you'll be able to "reason" your 3 year old son about sharing mommy! That's worked for me.
Kathy JoePerson was signed in when posted  1
11-29-2004 05:27 PM ET (US)
Hello,
I have just found this message board on MommyToo. I would love to 'talk' to other moms-to-be! Is there anyone out there?

My name is Kathy. I am expecting my second in January. My son is almost 3yrs old. I am absolutely exhausted since entering my 3rd trimester. I look forward to the birth of my baby. Although I don't know how I will manage a newborn and a 3yr old.:)
Kathy
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