Breaking up is hard to do Ryan Bigge ends his love affair with Douglas Coupland.
But don't blame yourself, however, Doug. It's not you, it's me. I'm the one who's changed. I've had a chance to experiment with Nick Hornby and George Saunders and Michael Turner. Don't be shocked, Doug. I realize how unfair my promiscuity might sound, but these other literary relationships have made me realize that maybe we're no longer compatible.
Please, try not to take this too hard. I can only imagine how you feel right now. I realize you're upset. But I still want us to be friends, Doug, if that's possible. You were once the voice of a generation -- back when irony and Kurt Cobain were still alive -- but your throat is sounding a bit hoarse.
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