Edited by author 08-03-2004 06:57 PM
Lilly, there's two choices for me here... you can crank up (toke up? I don't even know!) and come on down to clean my apartment for me...

Or I can wait till I have a job, and hire the cleaning ladies I saw on TV to come in and do it. I tried cleaning my kitchen floor with the Grab It Spray and Mop? Sure it picked up dirt. But when I hit something with real Lysol some dirt literally disolved and was wiped up from what I THOUGHT was already clean. Thus proving I am no domestic goddess.

While I have been in love and willing to marry and procreate, and possibly would do so should it happen again, I too worry that my child will be one of the ones bystanders want to throw in traffic because they misbehave.

Or they'll Lizzie Borden my ass.

I didn't get the warm fuzzies for babies ever, and in fact to this day the sound of a crying infant sets my nerves on edge and makes me a little angry (probably not a good response), and I didn't babysit, except for my brother and I used to scare him so bad about someone being in the house going to kill us that after a while he used to CRY HYSETERICALLY if he thought I was going to babysit. Hah.

So while I'm fascinated by the /concept/ of pregnancy and child development, particularly their brain and motor skills, I don't really know that I'd be keen on being responsible for not fucking them up. Because I have very little patience, even with myself.

On the other hand, we could be first mother/child combo on Ritalin together! Wheee!

Editing to add I hated cats and kittens for most of my childhood, and never understood why the girls would FAWN over posters of them when there were majestic and useful horse posters to buy. Just recently, within maybe the last year, I have started getting warm fuzzies over cats. So who knows, I could just be a late bloomer. I'll be thirty in another two years, maybe by then babies will be appealing too. Or, not.

Well, since evidently no-one else is going to evince an opinion--or maybe y'all are just insanely clean-living individuals--I managed to get almost all of my (VERY messy) bedroom cleaned up the last time there was any methadone percolating around in *my* bloodstream...

Of course, I also was up for almost two days straight (more of my winsomely spazzy response to opiates) and hence needed Day #3 to sleep and recover, but hey, at least I was able to find that months-overdue David Sedaris book from the library. After several hours of foraging and sorting, anyway.

Heinekens on top of it, though? Yecch. That's just SO wrong. See if he drops any hundreds, Bill, and maybe you can get it on the security cameras? (You have such things out in the wilds of CT, mais non?)

Male orange tabbies RULE! I just got the Nevada trip pix from my dad and will scan them later this week with a link to follow, and *that* link will also take you to the album with pix of my beloved Tboy (RIP) and Senor Boo (happily relocated farmwards). I always get my kids different food every time too, though Sophie is prone to sniff it suspiciously for some time before she'll actually partake. I love my little skeptic.

If I had a printer, this would be on my wall right now - http://www.pclips.com/storage/parentsofbride_sm.png

I'm still laughing five minutes later! Elope! HAH!

Yeah. Anyway. We fed our dog some kind of food and then whatever else she wanted... she loves fruit and carrots and frankly any damn thing you yourself are eating. She ended up with the stones and went on a canned diet from the doctor, which smells more disgusting than I could have imagined. She still gets carrots, as much as she wants (which is a LOT) and mom will throw her fruit sometimes, but other than that, she sticks to the diet.

She used to like the last bit of ice cubes from a take out cup. I guess because they tasted sweet from soda. You would barely swallow the last sip before she had her paws on your knees whining for the cup. *sigh* I miss her.

Honey and peanut butter. But the balance is the important thing-- too much honey, and it's too damn sweet. Not enough, and it's just sticky. Now, for a goofy treat, peanut butten, raspberry jelly, and a little medium-crisp bacon. Like poutine, this lives in the place of things that are repellent and clearly bad for you when viewed abstractly, but produce a Homer Simpson reflex if they appear in person.

OOH! Almost forgot! New kittens are in house. The orange tabby-boy will be going away tomorrow to become somewhat less manly, but for the moment, they're settling in nicely. Sleeping in a knot on top of some boxes, in fact. Woe, for lack of a digital camera....

I must just be fussy...I gotta have jelly or jam on my peanut butter samwidges. Mint, grape, strawberry, it doesn't matter. Bakeapple is nice too (it's a large brown tarty blackberry-like fruit)

Oh yes, Sunalure... it's done by some other artist that Gontie has magnanimously allowed to share his bandwidth. The main condition seems to be that Gontie is allowed to interfere with his work. If Gontie started saying he 'had ideas chewing around in his head' about MY story and characters, I'd tell him to phrack off in so many graphically disturbing ways ;p
I agree, the guy's not bad, artistically. Not seeing enough of the story, it's hard to dismiss the writing JUST yet.

Sometimes a peanut butter sammitch is a wonderful thing.

Davey must be doing the writing. Spelling's a mess. I'm confused after reading through it (though my recent lack of sleep may be influencing that. The art's decent except for one picture with the puffy feet...

GONTERelated:
http://foxfirestudios.us/4images/categorie...441d7a7d247574594c0
What's all THAT about?
(And can you pick out the one pic Davey did? Yes. Yes, you can)

Just to mention:
Today, Drunken Bob-Can't-Be-Wrong made a mistake adding the deposit. Again. For the third time this week. It wasn't off by a lot, though. Only $1200.

damn it. note to self: really resist the urge to say "a fine year".

Though, to my meager credit, at least I didn't go HAW HAW after.

Certain elements are recycled, like the love-hate journalists and the American cold war, but most of it is new. I keep refining my ideas about what makes a good novel. In this story there is much more internal conflict and the action rises more gradually and is more suspenseful. Also there is less emphasis on philosophical musings and flowery descriptions, and more emphasis on plot and drama.

I dunno about reading it...So far you haven't mentioned any flying robot dinosaurs that are ninjas.

Did you completely trash the first novel, or is this a rewrite?

Well, Amy is famous has a lot of political enemies, and as the story goes on she ends up on all the blacklists. Elena is comparatively anonymous and respectable and law abiding, at least at first.

Meanwhile, American society is degenerating into a cold war between fascists and democrats.
Seems a bit far-fetched... ;-)

How does the distancing help Elena? Not to say it DOESN'T, it's just not obvious in the below how it does. Overall, it doesn't sound like the sort of thing I'd seek out (he said, glancing at the old Larry Niven novel he's re-reading and blushing deeply), but it seems to have sufficient potential to attract readers.

Okay. I've outlined The Novel Version 2.0. It's about a much-beleagered journalist and independent thinker named Amy Johnson. She develops a competitive love-hate relationship with Diane Riverhead, a similar-spirited journalist and independent thinker. Also, Amy is trying to distance herself from her sister Elena Johnson, in order to protect Elena, and Elena is trying to figure out what to do about a man who she loves but who is ignorant and morally shady. Meanwhile, American society is degenerating into a cold war between fascists and democrats.

Does that sound like something you'd want to read?

AHHHHH.... Negligence is dead easy for a stumbling substance abuser. Hardly any motor skills needed, and the blame-casting that occurs later is all mental (like any other paranoid disorder ;-)

Edited by author 07-30-2004 01:37 AM
"I might ponder how he'd get up the motor skills to do any pilfering with that kind of set-up...."

No. I meant that he was so wasted that he makes stupid mistakes. Anyone who's worked in retail has that horrible moment after a sale: You weren't paying too much attention, gave the customer change for a twenty, then saw a five in the twenty slot...

I don't think he's stealing. I think he's so sloppy drunk/pill-popped that he's doing stupid shit (like dropping twenties on the floor). 25 years ago, I got stoned on my 3rd shift self-serv gas station shift, and the register was short $20. I never made the mistake of getting wasted on the job again. Bob does it every day!
Seriously--the dude goes to work while on METHADONE. Never having been a heroin addict, I can only guess how fucked-up you are after having THAT for breakfast. Even without it washed down with a dozen Heinekens.

Just because he starts chugging Heinekens and popping Valium at 8AM doesn't mean that it might affect his judgement!

I might ponder how he'd get up the motor skills to do any pilfering with that kind of set-up....

Today I bought a bag of Iams Lamb/Rice to supplement the Fish/Rice that so disappointed Killsy yesterday. I plopped the bag on the floor and et my Roy Rogers bacon cheeseburger (hey, like the cats and their kibble, there's only so many days in a row that I can eat chicken, catfish or yogurt). KK knew what the orange bag was, and sniffed and pestered it. When I poured a bit out, she got as excited as yesterday and ate a whole bunch of The New Flavor, as did Byron.

Also, why is the caps lock button where it is? Next to the Q or Z key, no, near the only key on that side of the keyboard you'd use, A. Which makes it a certainty that you'll always hit it when you don't want.

That's got to be the ONLY valid reason for the existance of Clamato juice. Happily, whatever the hell I've got is waning nicely without any squished-fish beverage being applied.

I've just remembered a link to enhance Bill's enjoyment of thing's Canadian-- the CBC's greatest blunder (in as much as they cancelled the show):
http://schooner.ce.mun.ca:8080/great/web_index.html
I encourage everyone to have a look-- funny funny funny.

Ernst, you have West Nile? That SUCKS!. I don't think it's hit anyone here yet but I do recall hearing in the past few days on the CBC that Saskatchewan was the number 1 place for people getting it by far (and if I recall you're in SK...). I hope you get over it soon.

Wooly really likes Whiskas dry food, but apparently from what the vet said it's quite alkaline and is bad for forming crystals in his urine. So we're feeding him Iams hairball control and he seems to like it fine. He doesn't like change - a bag left on the floor will terrify him.

I also heard on the CBC's regional call in show yesterday (they have a vet on every so often, previous shows are posted at http://www.cbc.ca/maritimenoon/ , they'll probably have the show in question up within a week & the vet's name is Eric Carnegy) that giving a cat Clamato juice of all things would help with urine crystals - the acid in the tomato juice battles the alkalinity, and the clams should be appetizing to the cat.

Zef: be glad at least you didn't have to experience the tropical mosquitos While we do get swarms of 'em (flat land = gobs of shallow standing water after rains), they're not too big and non-malarial. It's one of the reasons I don't mind -40 in January.

Bill: Gojira totemo ROCKS desu! I've just gotten in a grey-market copy of an older, not-super-restored home market Toho DVD, and while it does drag a little with the thinking and the angst, it's inherently a better movie. The Burr version is still lots of fun (although I cringe at the Yamane-voice actor saying "Phenomenon" every time I watch it), but I feel like a better-rounded human for having seen both. Of course, I'll sit through Seven Samurai about once a year, so my tolerance for slow-moving black-and-white Japanese films is evidently quite high.

BIG POST

re: autorotation button in helicopters- a ways back i was taking flying lessons (grandad was a pilot and left us some money) and they sent me a bunch of catalogues. one was for helicopters i might care to purchase (he didn't leave that much money) and another included a sticker with a solid raised red circle and the label "panic button" on it, that you could stick to your instrument panel to reassure nervous passengers. maybe this guy's story came from something similar. i really wanted to get a pile of those stickers and put them on all sorts of things, but it would have involved changing currency and high S&H charges.

re: fiction contest- i'd forgotten that was up for judging.
these were my entries this year, and if their not booed off the stage i'll dig out last year's.


"An ex-boxer with a nose so often broken it had been totally flattened against her face, a brain so rattled within her skull that she had a permanent stutter and an inner ear problem, Greta was the kind of woman any ex-mercenary would love; and with her balance leaving her tilting thirty degrees to the right, and my left leg shorter than my right by six inches after the grenade went off, walking hand-in-hand we looked like an inverted capital A."
 
 
"His pupils independently pulsating to the rhythm of the psychotropics surging through his veins, the transvestite headmistress of Madam Pimm's All Girls Academy of Etiquette and Propriety instructed the daughters of the cream of society in the use of doilies, the same daughters who attended lessons with fascination due to the Vietnam War flashbacks that interspersed them."
 
 
"The hardenned guerrilas crouched around the smuggled television, joined by a cable to the concealed antenna at the mouth of the cave, leaning on their kalashnikov knock-offs as they stared in awe at the brightly coloured prancing figures, occasionaly muttering "Eh-Oh!" as they scratched their raggedy, flea-bitten beards."
 
 
"His spurs clinked as he walked into the saloon and the spitoon echoed "Pting!" as he expertly spat his chaw across the room -- or rather, as the bartender laboured to explain-- his spurs clinked as he walked into the "very upscale drinking establishment" and the fishbowl echoed "Pting!" as the vile gob leapt to join the very expensive tropical fish already within."


"It was barely five minutes after they had fished scraping the cheese from the walls and rounded up the last of the wayward chickens, the auto-milker still ticking over almost with an air of menace and the cattle still very nervous, when all hell broke loose on farmer McKann's farm for the second time."

I sometimes think Gontie considers himself above doing this thing called 'research'. Certainly, everything he depicts seems to come from his own sometimes VERY distorted perception of things. Japanese culture seems to be his current target - he drew a picture of "Nitsan" in kimono in his sketchbook and someone ripped it apart in comments on how wrong it was, but suggested sources he could look up to get it right. Gontie replied that he'd look into it and redo it, but I doubt he will. Gontie knows everything, after all...

I'm glad you give the kits variety, Bill. I do feel sorry for pets who eat the same thing every day. Our family dog gets all sorts of stuff. In the space of a week, he probably has three different menus ;)

Sorry, it wasn't registering in me braaain. Ernst, get well soon! be glad at least you didn't have to experience the tropical mosquitos found here. one time i opened the window curtains and thought 'why i can't see outside?' the window was entirely covered by mosquitos.

"this guy was seem out in public fairly regularly, which leads to the realization that interacting with people may not be fatal to a world of things outside of the stories he's the star of in his imagination."

I had a co-worker at the store (the now-legendary "Beer-tard") who had regular and very vocal arguments with GOD. Or whoever the voices in his head were that day.
Just because you do it in public doesn't mean you're functioning.

Edited by author 07-28-2004 11:39 PM
Roll up! See the feverish idiot combine the SCA and Gonter-spotting in a single post!

Bill latest post (#185) for some reason *cough hack* reminds me of a bloke that was in the local SCA group a few years back. An evident high-school drop-out, he out let over the course of weeks that his French runway-model girlfriend was on very good terms with U2, having ghost-written a couple of their songs. He also revealed his knowledge of helicopters, informing us of the existence of the emergency Autorotation button on the dashboard of all such aircraft. He was also on the Catholic School Board's curriculum review committee.

The point? Er... *hack cough splat eeuw*... Well, this guy was seem out in public fairly regularly, which leads to the realization that interacting with people may not be fatal to a world of things outside of the stories he's the star of in his imagination.

"I believe I read somewhere that Gontie's day job is doing book-keeping for his mother's small business."

Ah-ha! That would explain it.
I figured that it had to be a job that he knew wouldn't impress people, or we'd hear about it all the time. And it had to involve the "MBA from the Community College" that he keeps going on about (I imagine "from the CC" might've been added defensively, after he'd said "I have an MBA!" enough times to realize that the next obvious question would always be, "From where?"). I also assumed that the job involved very little contact with other people. People that might make him realize that there's a world of things outside of the stories he's the star of in his imagination.

I was, however, kidding about him living in his parents' basement. Now I'm not so sure.

Edited by author 07-28-2004 11:08 PM
Dibs on teh japanese correcting!!!

Actually, all of gonter's chars look like transvestites, but here, i believe i'm not wrong to say that Kun is, yes, mostly used in males, but as the other endings, isn't bound to a gender.

I would dig very much to be married and such. dunno, it's the way i wired myself as i was raised basically by mom and missed the whole nuclear family thing. i don't know about kids, though. all i know is i want to marry eventually, and live happily ever after. i don't like to think that'd be an utopy...

Not to let the Gont-verage slip; sitting woozy at work, I have a look at himself's chat-board, set up to allow the masses to discuss his work. Apart from the horrible spectacle of him being the originator of every posting, and the blank lack of replies, there's this:
"Livewire Latte has several characters in the lead including Nitsan-kun,..."
Ummmm, isn't the "kun" honorific currently restricted to young men? Therefore, this Nitling must be... A TRANSVESTITE!

... or the Gont needs to do some actual research beyond fan-sub anime.

Edited by author 07-28-2004 09:57 PM
I'm married (and really diggin' it more than 6 years on), so I'm not in complete accord with the "no mate" sentiment, but I do remember a time when anogamy looked likely and wasn't too big a deal. Rest assured that both of us look at people with a shoal of brood and shudder in the best tradition of The Simpsons-- if kids occur at all, NOT MORE than two. We're not super committed to the parent thing, but the urge occasionally does rise above the din of the cats.

I'm looking forward to having a kid to share my love with. I plan to adopt, though. Actually squirting the kid out is too subtle a maternal joy for me. Also wanting the live-in boyfriend. Actually, several would be ideal. In fact, that's my solution to the overpopulation proplem: polygamy. Imagine a family of four parents and one child. It would solve so many problems.

I am a bored girl with boring things to say. I threw out The Novel and am starting a new one. My goal is to have a decent rough draft of something by the time I graduate from college. That's a little less than two years from now.

Here are some quotes from Rope, because I am a silly fangirl:

Brandon Shaw: Nobody commits murder just for the experience of committing it. Nobody except us.

Mrs. Atwater: Do you know when I was a girl I used to read quite a bit.
Brandon: We all do strange things in our childhood.

Brandon: Rupert is extremely radical. Do you know that he selects his books on the assumption that people not only can read but actually can think?

Rupert: Brandon has told me a lot about you.
Janet: Did he do me justice?
Rupert: Do you deserve justice?

Brandon: Good and evil, right and wrong were invented for the ordinary average man, the inferior man, because he needs them.

Kenneth: We're drinking champaigne? Is it somebody's birthday?
Brandon: You might say it's quite the opposite.

Brandon: I've always thought that it was out of character for David to drink anything as corrupt as Whiskey.
Phillip: Out of character for him to be murdered, too.

Oh, and Bill:
I believe I read somewhere that Gontie's day job is doing book-keeping for his mother's small business. I don't know what that is, exactly, but it strikes me as something that's not hugely demanding nor requires him to leave the house ;)

<raises hand>another Voluntary Human Extinction Project candidate right here.
When I was a teen, I think I was one of the VERY few who never babysat. I have no idea why...either our family didn't know many toddler-bearing people or I gave off a 'not good with kids' aura, but I never felt the squeeing, cooing attachment that other girls got when a baby was around. I still don't. I don't mind kids at all, as long as they're old enough to hold a conversation and I can give them back afterwards. But Scott and I are vehemently agreed that kids are not on our agenda, much to my mother's chagrin. She occasionally tries to assure me that having kids is the most wonderful, fulfilling thing in the world. And for some, I'm sure it is. But to me they're expensive, demanding and I see too many of them who are being brought up spoilt and nasty.
I value my damn independance and financial freedom.
I'm with Bill - pets are going to be my children.

Okay, Bill, I'll take you at your word.

Saw your update today, and I know exactly where you're coming from. I'm a bachelor myself, and with a few brief exceptions always have been. I can't imagine wanting to have other people in my face 24-7. I also don't like kids much. I don't have the patience or maternal instinct, and people lacking those should not have children, period.

Some people may not be able to wrap their heads around this, but screw 'em. I make a living, I'm a homeowner, I'm not in any debt besides my mortgage. I'm doing well for myself despite not having a mate to legitimize my existence! Nobody has the right to say that someone who chooses to remain single and/or childless is failing/missing out/anything else. Period.

<./rant>

IMPORTANT! (And Gonter-FREE!) MESSAGE!

I keep forgetting to mention this:
The Comments are what other pages refer to as an "Open Thread." Anybody can bring up any topic for discussion here. If you don't want to talk Gonterwhack, feel free to start something else. Of course, no one is obligated to reply to your thread, or mine, or any one elses. This is here to start conversations, so go ahead and start any you want.

Edited by author 07-28-2004 12:39 AM
M3:
"I can't imagine what kind of job an MBA from a community college would get you."

Given Davey's near-obsessive reminders that he went to a CC, maybe Nitwit is his female alter-ego-maniac?

But what does an MBA from a CC get you? Maybe Davey didn't get one, but I'm sure that he wasn't an English or Arts Major! But since nothing turns up in his works that doesn't seem to come from his limited experience, he might be bringing Nitsan in just because of that.

My former theory about Davey's REAL job was that he worked in a video store. But I work in retail, and he'd have a much broader experience with real life if he did. Any theories as to what this 35-year-old's day job is?

Oh, wait--Am I going too far out on a limb to suggest that they don't HAVE "community colleges" in Japan?

I rented Blinx for the 'box today. KITTIES EVERYWHERE!!! also, the cutscenes are in another weird, suspiciously japanese sounding language with subtitles! fun.

Great googly moogly! Take a couple of days off and get prolific'd under! By the way, if any one is interested in trying out this West Nile thing that's all over the news, I've got a case I've no more interest in I'd happily send along.

Reading of Bill's X-Box woes, I have a moment of PS-owner's schadenfreude, for which I apologize. A new and interesting chapter in the vile career of Bill Gates! My wife and I have an idea that there's a lot of Transporter-Malfunction versions of the wealthy runnin' around, and Gates is one of them: vast charitible donations one day, new monopoly schemes the next, depending on which one is locked in the closet. Other easy example-- Ted Turner ("RESTORE!" *biff* "COLORIZE!" *pow*)

Edited by author 07-27-2004 05:26 PM
Our Bichon Frise (dog) used to act like a cat sometimes when she was younger... I'm not sure how much "stalking" other dogs do though, but we used to love to catch her eye with something and watch her take half an hour of steady, tense creeping across the living room floor to pouce and chew.

But like many of her cute tricks, we wore it out and she stopped doing it. If she was on her back getting attention and you'd stratch her neck or chest, she'd wrap her front paws around your wrist like a bear. We used to call her a little polar bear, because she is all white with a black nose and eyes.

Don't worry, Marc.... it's not something most sensible people make a connection with straight away. I mean... how many nicknames has fellatio got? Plenty of them spring to mind before 'Clinton jobs', I'm sure ;)

And he stopped being any fun at all when his meds changed. In the good old days, the hideous artistic revenge he wreaked on those who slighted him was brilliant :).

Oh, forgot one thing...It took me a while to figure out what the heck "Clinton Jobs" were. I thought he just had the hate on for Bill Clinton and Steve Jobs or some bizarre sexual fantasy with the two or something. I can be awful thick at times.

Darn, I missed the cat roll call - Mom (and sort of me by extension when I am home) has Wooly (or, the Wooler as we call him at times.). He's a large Maine-Coon-like creature with the bravery of a chicken. He's terrified of door threshholds and the stove, and likes licking bags. He had a brother, Quaker, who was almost as chicken as he was - he was shorthaired, but he passed on this past winter.

I had a big longhaired white cat, who was as deaf as a post, Edward. He was mellow to the point of almost being comatose. He made it to 15, but succumbed to feline leukemia.

maybe Davey's been so desensitized to the insults that he can't help but take all criticism as positive. There's been times I wish I could ignore reality, too.

When I get home to high-speed internet access, I'll have to go over that 48-page magnum opus of his.

Re. Davey seeking out positive reviews. I always found it amusing that when he'd hang around on the Portal of Evil foxfire forum, he'd take the 'praise' as genuine. Even when people more or less spelt out that he was a loser and made everyone feel better about themselves. I wonder how oblivious he was to the fact that those were all 'we're laughing AT you, not WITH you' praises he read? ;)

Well, her photo aside, she appears to have a sweet personality, if a bit simple(she can't see the woods for the Davey-Ego ;)). She kind of reminds me of The Onions' Jean Teasdale, actually. I bet she has many many many Beanie Babies at home.
back to Davey - I actually have started to MST the RP fic(in pages. Good lord, like I'm gonna mst a 48 page fic in one hit!). The Splutster is looking it over for any editing, but one of us will post a link here when it's done.

A 38-year-old who doesn't wear a bra... that's a goddamn shame right there. Especially on vacation. Especially when posing for a picture. Especially when she puts it in her profile. *sigh* Bibbidi-Bobbidi-BOOBS!

I can't imagine what kind of job an MBA from a community college would get you. Or why someone would travel thousands upon thousands of miles to work IN A COFFEE SHOP IN THE DESERT.

Aim low, DaveyDear, aim low.

I think that if Davey was that obsessive, I would have heard from him by now, as the Jen White Collection's been online since '97. I think he looks for positive reviews, then leeches on to those forums for his ego-boo. Note how that his profile on Disney Ecch says he makes an average of 4.27 posts a day. Where would he find the time to look anywhere else? And given his constantly changing obsessions (what happened to Sonic and M:TG? Why is it suddenly Disney/Matrix/Tron/RPGs?) he latches on to new places that will tolerate him. To a point. Then he gets mad and moves on to the next group of suckers.

Rabbit:
Yes, she's 38. And I've seen her picture. LET US NEVER SPEAK OF IT AGAIN. (shudder)
When Jen White sent me my first taste of DVK (her classic MySTing of SMUSA, still on my old Geo page), I said that I'd host it, and it was bad and all, but I mean, this kid you're making fun of can't be older than 14!
She told me "He's in his mid 20s." And he was writing himself as the main character in Power Ranger fanfics. That's when my interest in the guy started.

Mimi:
MyST all you want! If you can get through it. I made it to about page 8, then FF'ed to the end. Not to give it away, but Davey saves the day by shooting a ghost pirate ship with a 20mm Vulcan minigun. Hooray for Davey and his inappropriate phallic anachronisms!

I laughed on Page 1 when Davey said that his house is "between the size of a ranch and a mansion." That narrows it down! I assume that Davey doesn't have that great an idea of what size houses are, given the dimensions of his parents' basement. (Later we find out that "the mansion" is a 2-bedroom, which pushes it closer to one of the extremes)

Hey, ladies, his "Clinton" is between the sizes of a fully-engorged boa constrictor and a wet cigarette butt!

Unless he's familiar with every single nickname he's ever been endowed with, I think we're relatively safe. I don't think we've called him by anything other than 'Davey'(of which the Net has abundant supply, I'm sure), 'Gontie' or 'Gonty' - and all of those have a myriad of meanings to Yahoo or Google ;)

Besides, if he DID know of here, he'd have spoken up by now, seeing as the board allows anyone to post.

I like being able to share my comments here, too... he's just as well-known on the Godawful Fanfiction forums, and even they're not really interested anymore ;)

My own friends lost interest after about half an hour. I feel dirty.... is it wrong that I want to MST that RP 'fic'?

Hey, I *love* going wading in my j'accusi! Only problem is, I always end up feeling oddly guilty!

(Folks, you DO realize that you're just *encouraging* that prototypically sad SCA- and furry-reject Gonty, right? I mean, someone with his kind of profound ego needs undoubtedly Googles himself on a regular basis and thus can easily check in here to see what vast reserves of disdain and time y'all lavish on him, mais non?!)

Mind you, I have nothing but love for my geekish brethren, having long ago learned the utilitarian value of strategic target deflections.

It's nice to see I'm not the only Gontermaniac in the world. I think I've exhausted the topic with most of my friends.

I don't like to make fun of people, but I just looked at Marcie's profile for the first time. I had assumed she was around thirteen years old, too young to realize what a doofus Davey is. But apparently she's thirty-eight. And she has a picture of herself up.

Edited by author 07-26-2004 06:49 PM
what i find hilarious is how this 'rpg' style allows him (and her) to detail every minute action, making me feel i'm reading livewire!

that pic where he's holding his coffee makes him look so awesome. afterall, he's holding a Flaming Homer!

The first page of the link Bill linked is enough to induce cavities, be warned. some choice quotes:

"Marcie found Adam enjoying his morning cup of coffee, overlooking the fenced off backyard, with an equally manicured desert grass lawn, a wooden tower which served as a tree for a treehouse, and a jaccusi for wading in."

..a wooden tower that served as a tree? Considering it once WAS a tree, the irony is probably lost on Davey and he has fibreglass imitation wood logs in the fireplace. A jacusi for WADING in? Um... Davey, that's a birdbath...

And one from Marcie to his sexbot foxgirl, providing more evidence that she may in fact be the woman of Davey's dreams:
"An ode to Tara, although I only just meet you feel as thought I have known you from times of old. Good friends we will be from here to eternity."

Excuse me, I gotta go bleach my brain...

Edited by author 07-26-2004 06:02 PM
I assume "Lil Marcie Mouse" is this person, given the Jonny Briz icon in her sig:

"I want to stay In the Walt Disney Suit please. The Wonder and The magic are Sister Ship and set up the same way. We arrive at the Terminal and we had up and escalator. You can see the Ship out side the big windows toward the back. to the left is the check in counters and to the right is seats and the restrooms. Anyone need to go before we get in line. There is a snck bar if your hungy. Also to the back you can see a gaint Hidden Mickey that we will be going through to get on board."

That was written by a 38-year-old. I see the attraction between her and Davey aleady.


Here's that !48! page inanity between the two that Mimi mentioned. Lots of Davey art. The first page has a picture of Davey's..."house," which I recommend seeing (it looks like a broken dollhouse that the dog pooped in front of), and a shot of Latest Sexbot screaming in horror at being in a DVK fantasy.

His new signature is supposed to be "DVK," but it really looks like it says "DUH."

Man, as bad as Gonter-"art" is, it pales next to the junkyard tire fire that is his prose.

Glad to see he's still the center of the multiverse. He even made an RPG where you can play HIM! Is there really a market for an RPG based on Disney/The Matrix/Anime/whatever else is rattling around Davey's head, starring Davey?

Disney-Echo..where Daveys can run wild and free.
(And some of us NEVER get sick of Gontie, Rabbit. Indeed, this is the only place where we can really share comments ;))
Oh good lord.... there's another thread on the Echo which is a 48-page RPF between him and 'MarcieMouse' - ah well, she finds him pleasant company, she can have him. ;)

I know that everybody here is probably sick to death of Gonterman, but I just had to share his butchery of Minnie Mouse. Not only is Minnie an anime fan, but she also (gasp!) thinks Adam is so cute with his bishie hairstyle!

As repellant as the Disney Echo message board is, it's a veritable goldmine for all things Gonterman.

well, since i was almost crushed by the big ol' metal gate on my patio (details on DJ), i'll try to be short.

Woah, Shaolin Soccer is teh cool. of course i haven't seen it, even if it's been on bootleg VCDs on anime cons since forever...

yeah! i knew there was no way that cool disk ran on a retail Xbox (please stop using the hyphen! it looks un-gamer like), even if you didn't answer back when i asked you, Bill. tsk tsk. anyway, i thought that on the web they sold all sort of mod chips.. and they're always updating them for the latest versions. of course, we'd want the one that only requires the 'box to be opened and to screw the chip on the board, because, yes, soldering a mod chip on a 'box is terrible. major overhaul, strewn pieces everywhere, the motherboard all lying on its back. i wonder lots if i really want someone to rip my poor 'box apart. building a computer is NOTHING in comparision. but, also, i hear a sequel or something to KOTOR is coming up november or so.. would it be worth it then? ;)

Anyway, how cool that they accepted it back easily. when i returned my first one (because they dropped the price a month after i bought it) they had me go over again and again why i was returning it (i used your exact same reason) and they had me lounge around while they got it out, connected it to a TV, put in a game, waited through the introoo, and until they were able to actually play. (like, if there was going to be some fatal error between the intro and the actual gameplay) then the awkwardness as the guy checked what music i had downloaded to the HD already (i wasn't going to delete it before returning it in case they didn't want it) and played a bit of it. sheesh.

dang, so much for short. i wonder if i got typing left in me for DJ..

From the side ads:
Want that special, super-affordable accent to your Monkey Chandelier? Buy a $170 litter box!

Nnnngh. I'm reading reviews of Rear Window for research for a class. One claimed that Jimmy Stewart was "turned on" by what he saw out the window and his big, phallic, telescopic lens was an obvious metaphor. This may not be World Stupidity Award level, but it's still aggravating.

Five minutes 'til the bus gets here, so we'll go for the quick and dirty approach. (Don't deny it, I know some of you like it that way!)

There's nothing wrong with unibrows, Zefster, mi amor. The only worse thing I can imagine is unduly influencing a younger friend with your ceaseless questions about Mexican celebritism (in k.d. lang's immortal phrase). ;)

Yes, Cesar Romero was gay. Substantiating links? I don't need no stinkin links!

Present cats: Johanna Vachon Vanbiesbrat, a.k.a. Beezer, age 8; beige stripey w/huge amber eyes, looks (and acts) like the girl cat in every Pepe LePew cartoon.

Ace Fetisova Elly-Mae Edgwige, a.k.a. Sovy/Sophie, age 3; calico w/a big white underside (a.k.a. her "creamy nougat filling") and big ol' avocado-green eyes, looks and acts like your standard lovey-cat with l'usual fits o' rampant kitty psychosis. (Beez has them too, but as the elder stateswoman she's much more inclined to lie on a pillow next to me and fart--not an attractive characteristic of her dotage.)

There's so much I could say about SCA, and so little time. I AM amazed you didn't know what it was, Bill, what with all your mad geek skilz. (And for the record--and visitors--forget Super Green Beret, the Hall of Horrible Heads was always my favorite, and I say this as someone who arrived at the InExOb in week 140! Stinking will full the air forever in my heart!)

Re: Bakabreakers...I'm no expert on Japanese, but I don't think there's any way Nitsan could be a real Japanese name. Yeesh, it would take about five minutes of research to find a real one. Or he could easily find one in all the anime he watches. But nooooo, not Davey-kins. We're lucky he didn't name her after one of the contestants on Survivor.

Bill: Ah, so YOU'RE the Lone Subscriber ;)
I think the 'dental dam' is just Fox-girl's tongue.
Now, it would be HELPFUL if Davey REMINDED us all again what Bakabreakers was about..and hence why an MBA (I'd say it was more an Associate Diploma in Accountancy if it came from a CC) makes Nistan so useful to the cause. Like America isn't crawling with ENOUGH MBAs. The fuckers ruined Disney, after all... ;)

But that's wishful thinking....That would involve actual storytelling. with Davey, it's all about second cups of java, randomly-administered neck-strings and His Favourite Peppermints.

okay, so i didn't do research. hehe. well Civ II sounded a bit like Age of empires or such, so i just assumed. so, turn based, our poor 'box is lacking severely on rpgs. in fact, had the PS2 been at the same price range as the 'box here, i miiight have gotten it instead, seeing how it's plentiful with RPGs. now for the 'box there are only like 3 rpgs that i know of, the most recent being sudeki and being the most hyped. (dun blame them, has to fight the final fantasy series) alright, gamer rant over.. but not before pointing out THIS!:

*swivels on chair, petting plush kitten*

http://www.penny-arcade.com/view.php3?date=2002-06-05&res=l

bwahahaha, i'm afraid someone's beat you to the joke, Mr. Young.

I find MMORPORKs give you the best entertainment for the dollar... and they're on highly portable systems too ;-)

Zef: "so what is it? RPGs? FPS's? MMORPGS? FGRESOFGFDOEs?"

Oh, you SO made up that last one! But knowing you, you prly have an acronym for it all ready to go.

Umm, Civ2 is not real-time. I HATE realtime. When I want realtime, I dig out my old Atari or Intellivision. I like turn-based. I'm old, I can't waste any of my precious adrenalin!

Hmm, America's Army, I forgot about that. After 2 years, maybe I can download it now. (Of course, it prly contains something that signs you up for the real Army now. SOMEbody's gotta be the next wave of IED-fodder in Iraq after Bush cancels the elections)

Edited by author 07-24-2004 11:37 PM
Since I'm a subscriber to the comments (yes, amigo Zef, you don't need to refresh to find out there's an update!), I went to see the comic(ally bad) strip as soon as you mentioned it. I got a feeling like Trotsky's icepick when I saw the words "community college in her home town." HEY GUESS WHERE DAVEY WENT! He's all collagen edumacated!!!

That must be one high-paying coffee shop job that you'd buy a transpacific flight ticket just for the interview. But if I was Nissan Maxima, I'd punch him in the skunk suit for yelling "WHA HO?" at me!
NISSAN: Hey, I didn't yell "WHA PATHETIC TALENTLESS DORK?" at YOU, did I?!

I hope Nissan didn't go to that local community college with the anti-Germanically-surnamed teacher that Davey had to kill in Piasa Bird!

Oops, forgot to mention:
When did Nissan get her first cup of coffee? In most strips, this would be nitpicking. In this one, where so little activity is described so minutely, it's like 2001 not mentioning the Monolith.

Look at the mouth on ...umm, Fox-Girl in panel one. Did Davey forget to erase that line before inking (assuming he pencils in the first place), or is she wearing a dental dam? This is a very important question when you consider that there could be CLINTON JOBS happening!

Edited by author 07-24-2004 11:02 PM
Oh sweet merciful Gourd, check out Gontie's latest update...

Plot-hole #1 - "Nitsan" has apparently never heard of phones or email.
Plot-hole #2 - NOONE has ever heard of a little entity called the Immigration and Naturalisation Service, who control a little bit of paper called I-170: Immigrant Petition for an Alien Worker.
Plot-hole #3 - Community Colleges don't do MBAs.

Unintentional Laff - "Nitsan-san"???

FOR THE LOVE OF LIVERY-CLAD MONKEYS, SOMEONE GET THE MAN A BETA-READER!!!

one of those thread hijacks this thing seems to get from time to time.. (mainly from me?) i was thinking about you saying you didn't knew if you'd buy more games for the 'box, Bill, and how there were so much i wanted, and then i wondered if you have ever been clear on what kinda games genres you dig. i remember you talking about civilization (right out of my head there's Aliens vs. Predator: Extinction for the 'box, which isn't exactly the same but runs the real time combat vein) but then i can't remember much more. so what is it? RPGs? FPS's? MMORPGS? FGRESOFGFDOEs? oh, now i remember you tried to download America's Army so maybe you're curious about FPS's.

Wow... and little frock-coats on 'em. I know what my brother's getting for christmas!

My new goal in life is to be able to afford a monkey chandelier. Holy spider monkeys, those are cool!

Wow. There must be some really rich monkey lovers out there.

Edited by author 07-24-2004 12:51 AM
From the ads in the sidebar--
MONKEY CHANDELIERS!!!
Never before thought I'd type those 2 words together.

I got a sustained chuckle out of that cat and dog strip.

Edited by author 07-23-2004 06:19 PM
Current Crop:
Ryouga, 6 years old, likely a member of the Chartreaux breed, and the same colour as Gandalf's horse in the books: Silver in the light, shadow in the dark. Seriously, he vanishes going under a desk. He's also painfully shy, so most of our friends don't believe he exists.
Miranda, 5 years old, a petit Snowshoe (siamese with nose and feet dipped in white). Rounds her vowels, has many interesting scars, and is carefree of personal safety to the point that she's lost a tooth and a toe.
Oberon, 3 years old, thug-shaped grey tabby. Son of Miranda, and primary cuddle-ape of the bunch.

Upcoming additions (hey, we just moved into a bigger house): The twins, Augusta and... er... Hercule? Doc? Skeeziks? She's a medium-hair tortoiseshell and he's an orange tabby (a full two days younger than his sister). They're only 6 months old, and seem likely to give Oberon competition in the "Freaky-long Tail" category. The owners of the parents (now fixed) are holding them while the previous three acclimatize to the new digs-- next week, probably, we'll do the introductions.

Well, I've got two little buggers back at my parent's place. They're the grumpy kind of kitties, but I love them to bits. But the current cuteness is Egon (formerly Lydia), my roommate's cat. He's about three months old, black and white and fuzzy all over. He likes to eat my fingers and sleep on my neck. Not a day goes by where he doesn't establish himself as the CUTEST KITTY EVER!!! Yes, three exclamation points of cute.

I don't have a cat. I'm at work 12+ hours a day (2 hour commute each way) and by the time I get home I'm too tired to pay attention to a pet. Plus, due to my peculiar style of housekeeping, my home is not a pet-friendly type of place. If it weren't for that, I'd have a cat, as I am a cat person.

Soes it count that a neighbor's cat has claimed me? Every time I walk out to the bus stop, she greets me and demands a toll. Same on the way back.

Rope is Alfred Hitchcock's forgotten masterpiece.

The love of my life is a kitty named Reese. The name evolved from an older one, Reese's Pieces, which she got because she's a brown and black tortoise-shell (like peanut-butter and chocolate, get it?) She'll be nine years old come August, and she's in pretty spry shape. She can still hop up on the bathroom sink to get her bowl of water like it's nothing. She amuses herself by sleeping on my lap, sleeping on my feet, sleeping on an empty shelf, ignoring her cat toys to lavish attention on bits of paper, and tearing around the house slamming into things.

i had kiwi.. won't be having another kitty for a long while. now i pamper the xbox with my slight income. (slight as in nonexistant)

"Sucker for cats, me."

KITTY ROLL CALL!

Who has cats? What are their names, ages, breeds, colors?
You all know mine already.
(I guess that smelly dogs can also be included. Or any other pets)

That Mr. Peebles is pretty damn cute. Sucker for cats, me. I came for the Super Green Beret, but I stayed for the kitties. *sigh*

To return to an older topic, I read an article in Science News on Atkins:
http://www.sciencenews.org/articles/20040717/bob8.asp
Jury's still out on whether or not it's bad for you, although some carbs are very good. The problem is that people are starting the diet without knowing what it's really about:

"[Atkins] advocated a laundry list of vitamin and mineral supplements to compensate for the diet's shortfalls. He also recognized that slow-to-digest, complex carbohydrates that are full of fiber shouldn't be neglected. However, such nuances may be lost, Stadler points out, when people simply skim primers on how to begin low-carb dieting—or, worse, pick up their guidance solely from friends and news clippings."

<smirk> When in doubt, show the puppy ;)

Edited by author 07-22-2004 05:36 PM
Hah, it took me a minute to figure out that wasn't a band-aid in Dawn's hair... You should hit one of the celebrity nude sites and request a porn. I dunno if anyone would do it, but there's always odd ones in the bunch. By that I mean artists willing to go retro and not mainstream, like Britney and Kristen Kruek and stuff like that. And one of them might have decent talent. Yovo and Ming are by far the best ones out there, but there are others that do realistic jobs.

Not that I know anything about fake celebrity nude pics.

By the way, my favorite part of As If! is the dogs. Uly is so frickin' adorable, I love how in scenes he's always doing something doggy. Just down in the background or in the side of the scene. Adorable.

Bleah... Disney Echo. Leave your brains at the door. (and your eyes - beware of ICON OVERLOAD!!! These people collect icons like Disney cast members collect pins!!)
Rabid Disney fans are scary. I swear a lot of them genuinely WANT to live in Walt's fantasy. Anything upsetting the status quo or the mere FACT that some people can be UNHAPPY with the status quo are all just B1g MeaNi!1es!!
(alright, I'll grant you, disney fans usually don't type like sugar-high teens, but the mentality is pretty much the same).

Any wonder Davey feels welcome there. He can wave Johnny Briz around and people go 'oooh, how nice!'

OH BOY! You found some HOTTT!!! salacious DAWN WELLS PR0N! Coconut "CREAM" pie indeed!
Heyyy...That url looks strangely familiar...!

No, M3, there is no actual DW porn. Just a bunch of Photoshopping of the Divine Miss W. And THAT'S JUST SICK!!

Because they never have butt-shots. Damn, that woman had the world's greatest ass.

"Is there actually Dawn Wells pron out there? Not that I want to know. Just... idly wondering."

Heh, check this out: http://www.geocities.com/Vienna/9938/dw.html

Edited by author 07-21-2004 10:45 PM
What's wrong with RPGs? (tho i haven't gone as so far as the paper and book RPGs.. not that i wouldn't like, i just haven't had a chance) what's wrooong with beeing a neeerd? what's wrong with monobrows for that matter?

Ernst, don't worry. some japanese rent full samurai outfits and walk around tokyo like that. and no one says a word. also, it's not like you refresh obsessively the board like it do, hehe. *hides in shame*

a few years back, there was this movie, El crimen del padre Amaro which made some MAD controversy saying it was against the church, and so. it made a lot of money merely on this controversy, because it was a dumb movie, with passable acting, and a storyline that went along the lines of 'let's put in a movie as much bad things about the mexican catholic priests as we can!' now, i'm loosely catholic, i know some priests are dang crazy, but i knew this movie was merely dumb. only making attacks to see the money rack in. now, there's a huge difference with this. the guy's trying to make a point. that thing alone sets it apart from being an attack IMO. now, far as i know, he's got proofs.

in the end i guess it's all on the public, and that's why it has to be impressive, to make a positive point. i didn't ever met anyone who converted to other religion after watching aforementioned movie.

/hasn't watched a single moore movie, tho he will rent 'Bowling for Columbine' one of these days

This "Nobody" person Daveed speaks of sure is spending a damn lot of money going to see the movie/attack ad.

Attack ads are illegal in urban areas in Canada, after a series of maulings by poorly trained Benetton sweater commercials.

"Mainly because of why people who don't go into Bush Bashing like Pavolv's Dog goes into Droll Mode won't even look at Michael Moore's movie, or even give Michael Moor the time of day: Nobody wants to see a 120-minute Political Attack Ad made by a flaming leftist version of Cartman."

Nice sentence, Daveykins. Flawless in its grammar, spelling and logic. BTW--Michael "Othello" Moor is wrong because he's FAT!

I don't have a dog that goes into "Droll Mode," although the cats can get pretty Jocular.

Davey says he's voting for "Doumya" because Davey feels sorry for Davey. Y'okay.

Edited by author 07-21-2004 09:54 PM
What's the SCA?

Saskatchewan Construction Associat*slap!*

OK. Society for Creative Anachronism-- sort of a long-standing, over-organized costume party for people that either like history (a little too much) or like the thought of smacking their dear friends with rattan sticks and running around in sweaty armour. The official line is here: http://sca.org/ In some places, there's a pretty high geek factor, as a lot of kids drift into the SCA from RPG's, thus the loss of unexpected cool points. Of course, up here on the beef-eatin' steppes, we're a bunch of burly, sweaty, hard-hittin' history obsessed ex-gamers who will wear tights when the whim strikes... oops, lost my narrative thread. Well, back to the mead brewing.

[edit: Oh, crap, I shouldn't do this at work. I would have SO confirmed Zef's guess, to the consternation of all-- I started mine before he did, and had to wander off.]

If Chairman Kaga's memory serves; Cesar Romero did indeed just slather makeup on his moustache during his Joker stints, as he didn't want anyone questioning his manliness during a moustache regeneration period. Whether this is a clue to his actual orientation, I cannot say (although I will offer this on the subject: Does it really matter?)

Well, the "batman featurette" on the DVD said he wouldn't shave it because it was the moustache that made him famous.

about it mattering, it's something that's been rubbing off on me from Lils, i usually don't care about 'famous' people. i mean, knowing if paulina rubio is a possible lesbian isn't the purpose of my life, or the purpose of any day.

does the SCA stand for 'Seriously Canadian Antlers' ? i'm imagining a room full of deer and moose having a jolly good time.

Rabbit, the bit on fox news is a thought that seems right on mark.. tho i'm not the gontexpert.

What's the SCA?

This is a bit OT, and slightly stalker-ish, but if anybody wants to find out what Gonty-kins opinions on Michael Moore are, you can find out on the Disney Echo message board.

Keep in mind that Davey's only source of info is Fox News. How much you wanna bet that he picked that station purely because of the name?

Perhaps the JNG is a mislabelled Northern Anachronist Detector... or malfunctioning Frog Exaggerator.

buddy, you lost some serious cool points for being in SCA.

I had cool points? Huh. That's a first ;-) Maybe I will try this "sleep" thing, too....

If Chairman Kaga's memory serves; Cesar Romero did indeed just slather makeup on his moustache during his Joker stints, as he didn't want anyone questioning his manliness during a moustache regeneration period. Whether this is a clue to his actual orientation, I cannot say (although I will offer this on the subject: Does it really matter?)

My name flipped also gives "black field large radiance"
and my name is not bitterman ernst, though I AM a canadian SCA member. Just think, Bill, you now have your own bizzare little demographic.

Edited by author 07-21-2004 07:05 PM
oh, ya, M3, my aunts used to seriouly dig those Korean soaps. but i don't remember the names very well, and i didn't use to watch them..

And all the batman villains were pretty silly, specially since i'm spoiled by the deepness of the ones in the animated series (which was my real deep introduction to batman, and which i seriously obsessed with, 'cept i didn't have a diary back then) but if i had to pick i'd go with catwoman as being teh hotness even back then. plus her cat Hecate was dang rad too. way fluffier than kiwi but with lots more character. in one scene the kitty threatens the joker, the penguin and the riddler! plus he can also sniff weak spots in doors (another scene in the movie) and it seems that throughout the movie they always used a real kitty, and he always behaved and looked cool in catwoman's arms.

Romero was gay? (or is, i can't even be bothered to check imdb) did he put make up over his moustache through the whole series?

If i had to pick from the animated series, it'd be the joker because his voice dubbing here and the adaptation of his slang made him way cool. i was sorely let down by both batman's and the joker's voices in english. i'm going to miss the spanish voices FOREVER.

Due to absence, playing catchup. Many apologies.

My name came out as Kojima Ayumi. I do like that bit about walking one's own way that it supposedly translates to (from?). (What was that Kipling line? Something about, "I am the cat who walks by himself"? Like, WORD, bro.)

Of course, my actual last name is Dutch for "man of the forest," and my first name is Persian for "dark of night." So essentially, I guess that makes me...uhm...someone prone to camp out by myself? Fair enough, though the camp part works on two levels, which reminds me...

So Zef, didja have a favorite Batman villain? You knew I *had* to ask, given how my first diary (age six) mainly details whether or not the Joker had been on Batman that day. Hmmmm...that's one gay Latino guy in a whole lotta makeup. (I was also fixated on Joel Grey in Cabaret at the same time...clearly my previous life as a drag queen was pushing its way through the ether.) Oh, and my drag name in this life: Tigger Guadalajara. Whee!

M3, you clearly need to cultivate online Korean friends to translate these mysterious cultural customs for you. Well, at least that's what's worked really well for me y mis novelas... ;)

Ernst, buddy, you lost some serious cool points for being in SCA. Lucky for you, you've got that whole Canadian thing going for ya, and the Black Field Large Radiance bit has pretty much redeemed you completely. (I'm sure you can now once again sleep at night, or whenever you so choose.)

Oh gah, praise. Awkward shuffling....;)
Thanks, Bill. Rosie hijacked the strip, the little bitch ;). and not just with drawing it. There was no way the story was meant to come out this seriously, but it's all good now and the mob have stopped baying for her blood ;).
Drawing like a 6-yr-old was damn fun, though. I did the photoshop rendering holding the wacom pen in my balled fist like a crayon ;)

Now to what I came here to comment - the retro cartoon was awesome. That's the closest I've seen to full animation done in Flash. The artist is obviously a trained animator and not someone futzing around in their basement. The 'Mickey' gloves make me think he may have even WORKED for the Mouse....

Zefiel: "Kimagure Gaijin" means "whimsical foreigner." First name begins with Kim, which is my own name. "McFarland" can be taken as "from a far land," hence Gaijin.

I know this pun works out, 'cause I tested it out on someone from Japan, who got the joke I was trying to make. It's hard to do wordplay in another tongue, even though Japanese is a great language for it.

Edited by author 07-21-2004 01:52 AM
Mimi:
Hmm, I flipped my name around and got "monkey crossing a bridge," too. Except your first name isn't "Young." Methinks the JNG is a scam?

Not, you know, that I have any problems with monkeys. Bridge-crossing or otherwise.

Just to make a break from the Gontermania and talk about a REAL artist.

I assume you all read Mimi's strip As If! by now, but just in case you don't:
The current storyline begins here. This is storytelling.

I'm always impressed by Mimi's ability to truly show the character's emotions with just a few deft lines of art or dialogue. But I think she outdid herself with the "Rosie's Viewpoint" strips. It's really hard to convincingly draw like a child. And to do it while also advancing the plot, and that fourth-wall bit at the end...Great stuff, Mimi!

As to Davey, note how in any ONE strip, more happens in As If! on both the plot and emotional levels than has happened throughout the entirety of Baka Breakers.

Sorry, Mimi! I've gotta embarrass you with praise at least once a year!! ;D

it can't be worse than an exploding shark. nothing can be worse than that. that is, considering you don't have a can of Bat-shark repellant spray. then it's just FUN.

Wisteria emit polletrons, which are blocked by rain usually and are probably the cause of Bill's july disease.

Zef-- I wonder now about 2 things; the half-life of wisteria, and the kind of detector you'd need to pick up the particles they emit. (...and then he pictured one of the silly damn things the Batman villain Poison Ivy would have used if she'd been in the Adam West movie, and a very small circle was complete)

hehe. i compell all of you to see this, if you haven't already. way cute and kitty related.

http://www.youthofbritain.com/chillout/ (broadband a plus, you could be patient as i was)

and Bill, you could see these:

http://img66.photobucket.com/albums/v200/Zefiel/Photos/bomb.jpg

http://img66.photobucket.com/albums/v200/Zefiel/Photos/car.jpg

they're not mine, of course.

"i finally got to rent Adam West's batman movie."

"Some days, you just can't get rid of a bomb!"
AHH-HAHAHA! I love that line!

As things turn out, i'm M3's lost brother:

Fujiwara Taiki. ick. i did what Mimi suggests and flipped my name around, which sounds quite reasonable anyway and got another, but then i wouldn't be M3's long lost bro. and growing up as a single child, one kinda relishes these things. and i'm Ernst' tocayo. (Tocayo is a spanish familiar word you use with someone who has your same first name. it comes from nahuatl for 'oneself')

Negs, isn't it a bit odd to call yourself 'Kimagure Foreigner'? i mean, i'd go for 'Kim possible' and woo the japanese with the cool english effect. (yes, i know it's a series in disney channel)

In other stuff, i finally got to rent Adam West's batman movie. WOOO is teh awesome! i was laughing non stop. i loved the part with the shark, the bomb (of course, everyone must love these) THE PENGUIN'S SUB!!! that was soooo rad.

Then i got to see spiderman 2 on theaters. WOW. also super rad. really. this time the villain is quite awesome too, and i'm not biased because he's latino and such.

I (sort of, since it's grainy as hell and taped with a handycam) watched shrek 2 on bootleg VCD. you owe it to yourself to see it, if only for puss in boots. (of course, they hella adapt it as translating/dubbing it, so the differences could be big and it could not be as rad)

Kon-(nichi/ban) wa, as the case may be, from Kuroda Taiki. The translation offered: Black Field Large Radiance.

COOL! I'm Hawking Radiation! Beware my relativistic effects! Grovel before my X-ray glow! No part of Tokyo is safe! Soon, a whole generation of Fightin' Fetuses will march for my cause... which is... um. Well, moving really fast, I guess. High energy photons don't really have much of an agenda.

According to the generator, I'm Saruwatari Miku ("beautiful crimson monkey crossing a bridge". Hm)
If you flip your name around and enter surname first like the japanese do, the result is totally different. I did that and got Nakashima Ayumi.
I like that one better ;)

If I had to take a japanese name, I'd keep it simple and be Emi. Identical pronunciation to my real name ;)

Edited by author 07-20-2004 07:49 AM
My Japanese name is Kimagure Gaijin. I didn't need no stinkin' generator to come up with that either - I did it the old fashioned way, by figuring out how to twist "Kim McFarland" into another language.

Edit: When I posted this, I got a request window asking me if I wanted to download or save a file with a long nonsense name or open it. I clicked no, of course. But as it came from this site, and I've recently deals with viruses that spread through infected webservers, I thought I'd better alert the others here.

actually, come to think about it, this topic's title is very appropriate...InExOb is closer to a monument, kisrael.com is closer to jotting down notes. "The News" is somewhere in between, it's a lot less dependent on links than my site is. I don't think you understand the appeal of The News, and actually I have a hard time putting my finger on it as well, I just know I consistently enjoy reading it.

Bill--
What, not everyone who runs a website is an attention hungry egoist with no sense of privacy?

Anyway, the Blender predates kisrael.com. (and is it that well-known? I don't hear much about it in the outside world.) Also, more importantly, it's not MY content, it's just a forum and I play an editor function--which adds to the usefulness and readability of the site for the casual reader, but I don't think it's my work that's the main attraction.

InExOb was 2 different bits of your labor...finding the weird stuff, and then writing about it in an amusing way. Kisrael, by contrast, is almost 100% dependent on me finding interesting stuff...which is a lot easier and less unusual than finding InExObs in the wild. But my writing and commentary only adds a little, I'm just a big metametafilter.

Aw, that's so nice! Fujiwara Miharu.

I wonder what wisteria fields look like...

I have such a hard time on my Korean soaps, even when they do English subtitles all the names come out so fast and are so long I get mixed up. Someone needs to make a website on Korean soaps for Americans. With character biographies and episode synopsises. Synopsi? I'm having a GonterMoment.

Of course, it'd help if I knew what the various shows were called. No such luck.

Hmm. That's a neato little thingy.

Hello from Ishimaru Kaito. :)

Davey should've used the Japanese Name Generator. I'm Sakamoto Tsubasa.

Edited by author 07-19-2004 10:58 AM
Just me. So you know it's going to be about the D-man...:
re. his latest Livewire Latte entry:

"I've been putting rings on strings around my neck since day one. It's something that's parts(sp) of my natural quirkiness"

..I find this hysterically funny(and positively Seussian!) for so many reasons. Not all of them all that fathomable. ;)
If he's been putting rings on strings around his neck since day one, he'd be too weighed down to move!

And yes, ladies and Bills, we have confirmation of the Mangled Japanese name: Nitsan Mutami.
And that takes some pretty non-skill to do. Even sugar-high 13-yr-olds on fanfiction.net come up with more plausable japanese names than this!

I am caught up. You all talk over my head 75% of the time, but hey, maybe I'll learn something.

Is there actually Dawn Wells pron out there? Not that I want to know. Just... idly wondering.

"Bull-Chips in your cereal, sir!" is the greatest insult ever.

I don't think Nader is an egotist. It's one of those things everybody says, but I don't think it's actually true. He's worried about the next 40 years, not just the next 4.

Rabbit:
If you ever come across any copies of "Captain Victory" buy them (for a quarter). Jack Kirby at his most insane. One character was "Paranax the Fighting Fetus." He was a giant armored fetus! That fights!

Look here in the "Did You Know" sidebar for some of the most demented dialogue ever penned.

You forget that I'm the anti-Kirk. I don't want no more attention! I wasn't dissing the InExOb, just trying to drive away any new readers. (Although, honestly, the first 15 or so Obs are pretty lame)
For some odd (but prly Me-Fi related) reason, Super Greenie is suddenly making the LifeJournal rounds.

"I've never been able to come up with a regular interesting feature on http://kisrael.com"

Yeah, that Blender thing, nobody's heard of that!

Hey Bill--
heh, i see you have your old cranky guy mojo workin'...

I was surprised to see the MeFi hit as well, but the InExOb really was great, and to someone discovering it for the first time it's a treat to read, you put a lot of funny work into it. It's fine that you decided it was too much effort or you got burnt out or whatever, but quick trash-talkin' it!

I've never been able to come up with a regular interesting feature on http://kisrael.com -- I try to make the site worth keeping up with, but ultimately it's just a 'blog. InExOb was a Web Attraction.

Edited by author 07-18-2004 01:13 AM
Teehee! You're funny Mister Bill!

Most of my baddies are from the quarter bin at the comic book store. My favorite so far is William Shatner's (yes, that Shatner) Tek World. Bad, but not so bad your eyes bleed.

The one I really want to find is Vampiric Jihad, from Apple Comics. Dracula versus Saddam Hussein! It was made during the last Bush's war and appears to be a fine survey of the extent of Iraqi technology. But I haven't found it yet.

M3:
I suppose the last likely place the logo might still wander free is in somebody's drawers!
Ahh--let us rephrase.
There might still be some old photos still in the sleeves that FotoHut packed them in. I still have some photos from 1979 in their original envelope--
HOLY FUCKING SHIT!
Photo HUT was one chain, FotoMAT was another! THAT'S why they made up "FotoHut"! GUESS WHICH ONE I HAVE!!!
It's not in the greatest of shapes--and it's a boring font--but give me a sec and I'll scan it.

Bill - I believe the spelling of Foto was because the owner/founder was foreign. I think his name was Beuhller. No, Buenner? Anyway, the spelling of foto is actually how it's done in other languages. Trust English to add silent letters.

They didn't show any FotoHut logos in the show either because they weren't allowed or because they couldn't find any. I was going to take fotohut.com as a site but figured even though they've disappeared, they might have a problem with that. There used to be a FotoHut/Kodak store on Liberty Ave in downtown Pgh, but they closed.

It IS odd. All the stuff you've posted, like the giant ant, that's around even after it's purpose is gone, and yet, the FotoHut which was nationwide, is completely gone. *sigh*

We picked the Pink Floyd font for the title anyway. It was appropriate.

Odd how something so common could leave no trace 25 years later.

Apart from some persistant chemicals, 20th century North American culture isn't very good at lasting traces. Out here on the steppes, we (my pop the architect and I) put it down to an underlying sense of, "Well, this is just supposed to do until we get settled." Further east, where the golden baltic-style ziggurats of old Quebec City give this notion the lie... just plain lazy, I guess. I recently got a postcard from people travelling in England, showing the hotel they stayed in; they were in the part of the building rebuilt after the fire in 1578.

LaGrey:
I voted for Nader last time. His policies have my heart, but he's just an ASS.

"The Republicans and the Democrats are the same!" YEAH THAT SURE LOOKS TRUE NOW, YOU MORON! Gore totally would've ignored Osama and invaded Iraq for his friends in HALLIBURTON, you RETARD.

Hey, Makes-Me-Ralph, if this isn't about your colossal ego, why aren't you running for a position you might actually WIN? Where you might actually MAKE a DIFFERENCE? How about the SENATE? In your HOME STATE, CONNECTICUT? Against Joe "I'm like McCain, but without a Spine!" LIEBERMAN? THEN I'd vote for you.

Zef:
One thing I learned from other managers (the bad ones) is that a boss should delegate the jobs that he doesn't need to do (ie, the easy ones), and not the ones he doesn't want to do (such as mopping up vomit). Workers know the difference, and resent a boss's laziness.
There was a Papa Gino's next door to the toy store, and I got so that I could tell what entree the kid had eaten, before he left it on our carpet.

Rabbit:
Any bad comics you care to mention? Also--YOU SUCK! Haha! You said I was funnier when I'm mean! You poopy head!!!!

M3:
I'm prly wrong, but I thought that those things were called "Photo Huts," and T70sS's "FotoHut" was a way of avoiding any copyright problems.
They were endemic in CT back in the 70s. There's the remains of an old one near my old place of employment, the DumpStore (without signage, alas). Odd how something so common could leave no trace 25 years later.

I am alive, more or less. I just wanted to say that I love Ralph Nader. Kerry's got my vote, but Nader's got my heart.

Edited by author 07-17-2004 06:07 PM
OK, I've been super bad lately about being up to date on the Splutness and chatting but I've been working on switching my website to a new server and basically coding all my pages in a new layout which is new to me and very very frustrating. Anyway, I'm struggling with this designer over my "logo" and I was wondering if anyone here has, or can find, a picture of the old "FotoHut"s? Those tiny shacks in parking lots that developed film? I've done google and MSN for seven variations of this and I can't FIND a picture of a logo even! I don't want to rip it off directly (even though they are out of business) but I also can't believe it's no where to be found on the net. I mean, EVERYTHING is on the net :(

So. Yeah. I'm going insane. If anyone can help just throw me an email at That70sHeidi -at- yahoo.com. Thanks :(

I'll get caught up as soon as Tuesday comes. I hope. If I'm not passed out drunk.

Oooh, edit! If anyone KNOWS of a good font that would look good with the text "TheFotoHut.com" let me know. We're looking for kinda retro but not overly done retro, a little bit of a grungy feel because they smoke pot in the Hut, but also semi-thick letters so it spans the top of the page it's on. I've been looking at famous logos and fonts for a while and my eyes are blurring. I kinda like Fantastic Four on DaFont.com but I'm not sure. It's a site with 4,000 or so pictures of just one character, who plays a guy who works in a FotoHut in the 70s.... I dunno if that helps or not. The focus of the site is the Fotos, everything else I have is secondary.

I just wanted to point out that you, Bill, are even funnier when you're being mean. And Super Green Beret single-handedly sparked my obsession with bad comics.

Which leads me to my next comment. I found this quote in a forum that Davey-kins frequents:
"Heh, grammar problems in my writing is my weak point. "

It's my new favoritest quote ever.

haha, Bill, i i laugh at your puny customers just merely *peeing* on your floor. and worse, taking the time to pee on the bathroom floor.

probably it happened in your times in a toy store too, but nonetheless here i go. this one time a kid merely PUKED all over the floor and a rack of toys. this was on my second day at work. not fun.

then when i was almost finishing my second week, i was all excited at this family that came in almost before closing, picked almost randonly a big, never sold before fisher price activity center priced at almost $80, paid in cash, and left. i was all puzzled, the money was legit, everything seemed to be ok. who knows why they were in such a hurry they almost didn't care for what they were paying $80 for. it wasn't like the thing was a hot seller. then, i'm browsing around, all happy i made a big sale efortlessly, and karma strikes. all around the aisles, somehow someone had managed to smear a lot of shiat. seemingly human. i still don't know what the hell was up with that.

that was the end of my 2nd week, and i was wondering if it'd get worse. it didn't, besides from some messes kids made on the bathroom before we decided to stop allowing people to use it.

Boy, is my face red. I should know better than to use equivocal acronyms.

DDR = Daveykin's Dank Rec-room. His own posters and that big wood-grain duroplast DKW game system-- of COURSE it's the prettiest thing there.

...ah, it seems my Gonterrhea treatments need refreshing.

"It took me about 5 seconds to realize what you were talking about. Yes, despite growing up through the latter half of the Cold War, I thought that you weren't talking about the Deustche Democratik Republik but...Dance Dance Revolution.
Damn Commies and their Revolutions!"

On the other hand, I think of the East Germany whenever I hear DDR... even when I know people are talking about the dance game.

hahaha, YES! same here. i was thinking "i missed another update and Bill said something about DDR". then i remembered seeing DDR all over in the tom clancy books. at least now i know what it stands for!

"That video game was probably the prettiest thing in all of the DDR"

It took me about 5 seconds to realize what you were talking about. Yes, despite growing up through the latter half of the Cold War, I thought that you weren't talking about the Deustche Democratik Republik but...Dance Dance Revolution.
Damn Commies and their Revolutions!

hehe, Bakker. yes, that's true. however the 'movement based vision' was based on cranial molds, and doesn't stop being silly. Crichton's point is, we can say a lot of things, but until we find a real living dino, we don't know how much of what we say is true, and we can't hold it like a truth. he basically says the same about any scientific theory.

Well, MOVIE paleontologists forget that. Proper ones will say they can say thus-and-so based on this-or-that gouge in to bone or over-developed tendon attachment point. Heck, even Jim "Crazy Hair" Bakker doesn't say too much about behavior without careful choosing of words.

"awful lot of extrapolations of behavior based on piles of bones."

that was very throughly talked about in TLW, too. about how paleontology is all about looking at bones and making wild guesses, but paleontologists forget that watching bones is like flipping though a photo album, only stills, and stuff happens inbetween. meh.

Bill: That video game was probably the prettiest thing in all of the DDR-- man, whatta console! On dumb stuff in sci-fi, and The Fly in particular, they miss entirely the obvious problem; the telegizmo gets confused about one tiny fly, but has no trouble at all with the pounds of bacteria packed in to Brundle's gut. Hmmm....

and on a related theme:
...found it quite puzzling how hard chrichton worked on "The Lost World" to dump the vision-based-on-movement theory that he established first on "Jurassic Park".
Possibly because EVEN HE was embarrassed at the way it had been stupidly handled in the first movie-- Sam Niell makes an awful lot of extrapolations of behavior based on piles of bones.

Jeez, I should stop watching these crummy movies and get some sun. But... original Japanese version "Gorath" beckons....

"Harry: Hold still. It’s a CGI dinosaur. It’s sight is based on movement."

This'll prolly concern only who've read both "Jurassic Park" and "The Lost World", but i found it quite puzzling how hard chrichton worked on "The Lost World" to dump the vision-based-on-movement theory that he established first on "Jurassic Park".

what's wrong with crystal blue? and digital, easy to read and full of geeky features watches? ;_;

(Presumably a mere variation on Krafft-Ebbing? Nah...)

Me wants da sushi clock! But I'm sure I could create my own version for way cheaper. Alas, that'll hafta wait until after I finds young Zef a non-digital watch of his very own, mais oui.

Dearest lovey-girl of the grey 'n pale-purple persuasion (WAY better than the crystal blue kind, needest you ask?): if that's your version of hell, where do I sign up to get tickets??!! :D

"I've already got a PS2, so simple inertia keeps me in camp 1."

First off, nintendo's the one with troubles now, i seem to remember. but yes, anytime now you might find a Xbox in specially marked cereal boxes. BIG cereal boxes.

Then, there were kinda more games i'd like on the PS2 (what with there being no RPGs for the 'box yet..) but i wanted a console of latest gen, that would last me a little more. also, i couldn't afford a PS2 ON CREDIT. it's way more expensive than the 'box here, due to its popularity.

Maybe we should all eventually get Xbox live, heh.

I understand that Microsoft is selling XBox WAAAAY below cost to try and de-market share Sony and Nintendo. This presents a terrible choice:
1) "Nobody buy them-- MS is EEEVIL!"
2) "Everybody buy them-- MS will be driven into bankruptcy!"

I've already got a PS2, so simple inertia keeps me in camp 1.

Edited by author 07-14-2004 12:41 AM
"Apparently Battlefield 1942 (now Modern Combat I think) is coming out on the Xbox this fall, and if it does, I'll probably buy one. I don't really enjoy many games but I really liked that one. But my computer won't run it either."

I reasoned that any compy would do what a 'box does, upgrading it with hella RAM, video RAM, and a DVD drive. but then, no one sells comp parts on credit, but sell 'boxes con credit, hence why i got mine. and you don't have to upgrade it again and again for newer games.

Maybe we should all eventually get Xbox live, heh.

Also, Bill, i was going to ask if you were thinking of getting one of these clocks off Jlist, but then i saw the price. ick.

http://jbox.cybrhost.com/PRODUCT/12626458/

I guess Springsteen did write "blinded by the light"...I wasn't aware that he was around in the early 70's, but then again, neither was I.

Mimina - I never made the connection between the two songs being sung by thembut now that you mention it, it makes sense...They like to play Manfred Mann a lot up here, it seems to be a lot of the same thing. They have strange rules on canadian content which leads to a lot of stuff being played over and over.

Apparently Battlefield 1942 (now Modern Combat I think) is coming out on the Xbox this fall, and if it does, I'll probably buy one. I don't really enjoy many games but I really liked that one. But my computer won't run it either.

Oh, God. The worst has happened.

I have been bitten by the Harry Potter slash bug.

If this is not your thing (and why should it be?) you might want to skip this post.

It is sixth year. Harry and Draco are serving detention in the Forbidden Forest with only Fang as chaperone. Again.
Draco: Can’t perfect Potter stand being reduced to peasant’s work?
Harry: Shut up.
Draco: Does he miss his hoard of admirers?
Harry: Shut up.
Draco: No one to Oooh and Aaah over his deformities?
Harry: Shut up.
Draco: Or maybe he’s just scared of the dark?
Harry: Shut up.
*Suddenly, a massive figure approaches. Draco immediately dissolves into a frightened puddle of quivering goo and hides behind Harry.*
Harry: Hold still. It’s a CGI dinosaur. It’s sight is based on movement.
*Draco is shaking so hard that Harry has to hold him tight to keep him still. The CGI dinosaur sniffs around for a bit, then wanders off. Harry releases Draco, who collapses in a terrified heap against his chest.*
Harry: Okay, we’re safe. *pause* Malfoy, what the hell is that?
Draco: *still shaken* What is what?
Harry: You’re hard.
Draco: What?! I am not!
Harry: Dude, you totally are. *runs his hand up Draco’s length, which has been poking into him, to demonstrate.*
Draco: Quit flattering yourself, Potter!
Harry: So, all this hostility toward me is really just repressed lust?
Draco: Shut up.
Harry: No wonder you sit and stare at me all the time.
Draco: Shut up.
Harry: And this explains your jealousy toward Ron.
Draco: Shut up.
Harry: Not to mention your need to always impress me.
Draco: Shut up.
Harry: I’m going to kiss you now.
Draco: *snarls* Don’t you dare, Potter!
*Potter dares. He backs Draco into a tree and pins him there. Then he bends his head down, forces open Draco’s lips, and slips his tongue inside. After a few moments he lifts his head back up and smiles.*
Draco: *sighs, resigned* I really fucking hate you, Potter.
Harry: Mmm.
*Harry bends his head to kiss Draco again, and this time Draco kisses back.*
Fin.

If I wasn't going to Hell before, I certainly will be now.

I'll probably be getting me an Xbox in the next few months, 'cause my computer sure as heck ain't gonna be powerful enough to run DOOM 3. 8^p

"...and in a great non-sequitur; X-box! Well, g'bye, Bill. I think "Fatal Frame" runs on that platform-- it's creepy like "The Ring". Er, the slightly more creepy Japanese original, I mean. Totally worth the 10 man-hours it takes to play through to the end."

And i think the tecmo store no longer carries it. and the copies on ebay are running out expensive. i agree, i hear it's totally awesome.

Preference: Banana! Goal: Hit Bonzo in next cage with doody!

Preference: Effing wires out of my skull!
Goal: Devour Dr. Bob's eyeballs!

Well, if I was the monkey...

De re Moore (how the hell does that name decline in Latin?)-- I've recently posted on a rather less pinko forum than this (because, as an SCA member, I enjoy abuse) that I find Moore a conundrum. I love his motivation and I'm horrified by his methods-- well, sometimes, at least. The current Moore apologist line is that he does what he does as a way of breaking through the thick bony plating around the social conscience of the "average" American (it accretes during showings of "Survivor"). I don't know that this is a valid reason for some of his more jack-assy stuff, but it strikes me as a good thing that he's out there.

...and in a great non-sequitur; X-box! Well, g'bye, Bill. I think "Fatal Frame" runs on that platform-- it's creepy like "The Ring". Er, the slightly more creepy Japanese original, I mean. Totally worth the 10 man-hours it takes to play through to the end.

Yeah, I'm little, and I've been getting littler 'cause of my recent gastritis and the meds therefor. When it hurts to eat a regular meal, that is not good. I've just sunk below the can't-donate-blood level for the first time in many years. Blarg. Onaka ga itai yo.

"Kerry fights the Yakuza? Are you talking about some parody ad?"

not at all. it's in bush's site, the video's title is 'yakuza'

Manfred Mann also did a Dylan cover. It's one of my all-time favorite songs. Can you guess which one?

((Hint: Read title of the Comments))

Marc: Manfred Mann were a british invasion beat combo from the early sixties - their most famous song is 'Doo Wah Diddy Diddy Dum Diddy doo'. They're still around, several incarnations later.

Zef:
Kerry fights the Yakuza? Are you talking about some parody ad?

Marc:
I actually don't mind "Blinded by the Light" ("Go-Cart Mozart" sounds like something I'd title a New page), but that idea that "Springsteen did it" was new to me, too.
Maybe he wrote it? It's always played on the radio station at work ("WAQY, Springfield's Classic RAWK!"), but I always thought that it was by Boz Scaggs.

I had some Boz Scaggs once, but the penicillin pretty much cleared it up.

Current music: Byron batting a dropped blueberry across the kitchen floor.

Edited by author 07-12-2004 10:51 PM
Woohoo!! Batten down the hatches--Moncton, here I come! (In, uhm, a couple of years, as hopefully I then might have enough money to cover food and lodging. My heaps o' free United skymiles and exchange rates notwithstanding, I wouldn't want to begin my mayoral career dependent on freebies. Primo tix to Habs 'n Sens games can mysteriously appear at my office in due course...)

Negs, thanks for the clarification--I already suspected that the tiny blonde sprite was indeed your fine self, and I must comment that my first thought was, "She wanted a *medium* sized t-shirt? Dang, was that only because they don't make them in XS?" (Translation from GirlSpeak for Y-Chromes: Dang, girlfren be teeny!) In keeping with western standards of female attractiveness, my congrats on said status, though to cite the MST3K quote young Zef has heard WAY too often, "Jeez! Somebody get her a sandwich!" (~Crow)

Billy boy, last night I was watching a PBS special on roadside attractions that featured a brief interview with our old friend Sr. Griffiths, discussing how the more unique charms of CT and the Bay Area tend to show up in his strip. They didn't show anything in your part of the sticks that I remembered--such as the unique church close to your condo--but a giant duck was featured, along with the catsup bottle/water tower in the Midwest that had been discussed earlier in the show. All in all a way-cool show, and I'll try to tape the repeat whenever it airs. (All this, and the Mitchell Corn Palace too?! My cup runneth over!)

In No Big Surprise News, I of course adored the Byron pix...like, what else is new? Feel free to show us more, 'natch. (My teenage neighbor Shannon just got a tiny calico kitten--yes, from the pound, as I've trained her well--and admitted that she was influenced by a certain tiny bundle o' calico sweetness who lives at my house. Everybody, now: Awwwhhhh...)

She also informed me that the pound's current policy is that you sign an agreement to get your adoptee fixed within a week or you are subjected to fines and possible jail time. This coordinates well with my ever-more-strident opinion, as I realized the other week that unless someone has a pedigreed dog or cat who will be specifically bred for that or show purposes, I feel that substantial fines and jail time should automatically result for *anyone* who doesn't have their pet fixed. (This was after I heard that as many as 85% of all dogs and cats at the pound have to be euthanized.)

Still, though, you know, I used to be a reasonable person who actively disdained anyone who had such vehement opinions and emotionality about animal rights. Now I can only concede I have become what I used to abhor...

In probably-less popular sentiments, I'm nevertheless compelled to state how much I *really* dislike Michael Moore. While words cannot even begin to describe my loathing for Bush and opposition to the war (Hey, kids, didja like Vietnam? Well, you'll LOVE the remake!), I can't help feeling that Moore is merely a strident master of self-promotion; his shameful bullying tactics and cheerful media manipulation don't actually advance anyone's cause but his own.

I seriously doubt the sincerity of his "Let's-help-the-little-guy"/"I am the REAL voice of the people" claims; after all, how do you trust a guy who uses other people's devastating anguish to advance his own viewpoint? (And I say this as a resident of the same town in which Laci Peterson lived and died; every week at the supermarket I see the latest tabloid headlines and know that her friends and family can't avoid them either. Nothing like utilizing others' heartbreaking grief to sell papers...or, movie tickets.)

Okay, rant over. Re: Taco China, I've long been puzzled by the proliferation of teriyaki & donut shops in town (dunno if this is just a NoCal thing, or not); presumably this is because the restaurant already has a deep fryer, but at least where my own food preferences are concerned, I seldom find that a yen for donuts is automatically followed by the thought, "Yeah! And some chicken teriyaki sounds good, too!" or vice-versa. (When Krispy Kreme chooses to expand their selections, I somehow doubt this will be the direction they choose.)

Eek! Bruce Thomas story has to wait, as I've just missed the last bus! Byeee!

Marc:
*sigh* Another Canadian, sucked into the web of lies spun by dread OTTAWA!

Pic 1: You really think that you'd be allowed through the Defense Shield if your speedometer (or poutine-ometer, as it's called in CANADA!) DIDN'T read 666?!

COUNT THE POINTS ON THE CANADIAN FLAG'S MAPLE LEAF! They add up to--**666!**

Assuming you counted them the same way I did. I had to multiply a few times.

Pic 2: "Moncton"--FLAT? Maybe because--THEY MINED ALL THE FISH OUT FROM UNDER IT!!! It's totally plausible!

Or the current fish could all be flounder or sole or some of the other more diagonally-challenged fishies.

Or sardines! Ever see how THEY'VE learned to fit in those cans?!

Pic 3: Your so-called "phallus" is where the Ottawan STEALTH BLIMPS pick up their cargo of the MINED FISH! WHAT ARE YOU SO HOODWINKED BY OTTAWA THAT YOU NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT, EH, MONSIEUR CRAZY MAN! (or "El Gringo Loco," as the Quebecoisiennes say!)

Pic 4: Unibroue Maudite?
GIMME!!

Pic 5, pic 6: OBVIOUSLY, the Land-Yacht and the WMD-mobile are protecting the entrance to the SECRET FISH MINE! And when the MINED FISH are smuggled out from there they go to, hmm, where could THAT possibly be happening, huh!!

Pic 7: PIZZA HUT! Note that Al Capone has pulled his car right up in front!

"I forgot my camera" oh boo hoo! YOU didn't "forget," the MIND-CONTROLLED GERMAN-CANADIENNE MONKEY CYBORGS MAAAAADE YOU FORGET!

I rest my case!
(Or, in the native language, "Je sleepies moi clouseau")


(You did bring me back some poutine, right?)

I was reading the 20 worst songs and I did agree on Blinded by the light, but I don't recall ever hearing Bruce Springsteen singing it. Sure enough, a search later and and it looks like someone or something named Manfred Mann originally sang it. Probably some crazy Cancon rule (which IIRC is how Kanadian Korner on SCTV got started...They had two minutes to fill in each show shown on CBC, and it was requested to be Canadian. Dave Thomas and Rick Moranis were kinda peeved about it having to be Canadian, and really gave them something stereotypically Canadian - the toques, the Molson/Labatt cases, coleman stoves, etc, and recorded most if not all the shorts in one session. They may have been gassed at the time - It's in Dave Thomas' book SCTV - a very, very good read.) Anyway, listen to an oldies station for a few hours up here and you'll probably hear it. But I can't say I have ever heard the Boss's version.

Anyhow, Hope your allergies don't flare up, Bill. My brother bought Knights of the Old Republic when it came out, and he's still playing it over and over...he loves it.

No Fish Mines, Moncton actually Exists!

I left on my safari to see if I could actually find the Fish Mines of New Brunswick early Thursday Morning. I could tell I was getting close to New Brunswick and its evilness by a quick look at my instruments: http://24.138.4.101/july12/Images/IMG_0398.JPG (I didn't plan the odometer that way, honest!!)

Finally after a few minutes I piloted my craft over a small hill, and there she be, New Brunswick in all its flat glory!
  http://24.138.4.101/july12/Images/IMG_0399.JPG There's even a lighthouse for all the Carpet-Covered-Land-Yachts of days past!

After travelling another half-hour, I spot it...a road sign pointing towards Moncton. Tempting fate, I take it. And sure enough, I see this: http://24.138.4.101/july12/Images/IMG_0401.JPG Moncton is real! Moncton's claim to fame seems to be the giant concrete phallic dingus seen in the middle of the picture. A nice medium sized town, it's denizens are terrestrial day-active animals, found within humid climes.

After scoping out the town, I decided to relax by drinking some rare spirits I had enjoyed in years past. http://24.138.4.101/july12/Images/IMG_0402.JPG They were quite a good way to end a day of adventuring. During the several days that I enjoyed this fair town, I discovered one last carpet-covered-land-yacht: http://24.138.4.101/july12/Images/IMG_0419.JPG - A true classic (of something, anyway).

One had to be careful, though. The Moncton Military Force was out in full regalia, with its newly-purchased weapon of massive-destruction: http://24.138.4.101/july12/Images/IMG_0428.JPG . One civilian is in awe of its awesome firepower, while the other one clutches his face in sheer horror. I had to find some quick cover, so I hid out at a local Pizza Hut. http://24.138.4.101/july12/Images/IMG_0405.JPG

Lilly, they said someone with all the credentials you have would qualify to be Mayor of Moncton!!!

Anyhow, that about ends this short travelogue of my fish-mine adventure!

(I hope I don't bore anyone with this... Moncton is a lovely spot, I swear! I'd have had more pictures of it but I forgot my camera one day)

Edited by author 07-12-2004 08:08 PM
Arrgh, i hate how the new always has to be refreshed for me. i was all 'what list of songs?' until it refreshed now. BILL GOTS AN XBOX!! WOOO! i'm guessing the game is mechassault, which is a good game if you're into mechs, which date back to loots before, back when their games were all untextured polygons (and i LOVED it too) and that has branched to card and role playing games. woo.

Funnily enough, when i got mine (on credit), i gave it back because a month later they got the price down (from $250 to $200) and got it again at the new price, which allowed me to grab mechassault. and just lately i got via ebay a disk of demos. and just that. sometimes i rent from blockbuster (which, to add to the insanity of it all, started renting xbox games, and only xbox games, the same day i got the first xbox) i've seen that kinda deals for the 'box, allowing you to play EVERYTHING, down to arcade games, but they all require you to give the innards of your xbox to some shady dealer who will put it on its hard disk. so those disks sound RAD, if they run off a new, untampered xbox.

as for other games.. yeah, i dunno if there's another title you'd dig..

good luck wif da disease of julio..

has anyone seen that bush ad when he says Kerry's against the yakuza and global crime instead of keeping on with the war on terrism? anime junkies might get a kick off it...

LaGrey:
There was plenty of applause at the end of my showing of F9/11, too. Interestingly, the majority of the audience were seniors. And seniors VOTE.

Assuming, of course, that Bush allows America TO vote. Isn't he just telling al Qaeda "If you want 4 more years of me losing the War on Terra, kill Americans in November"?

Note to Phrack Whores:
http://livewire.keenspace.com/
The riveting, shock-filled story of how Davey got a bit o' string.

I agree, "Yesterday" is NOT a crummy song. At the risk of sounding pretentious, I think it's just too subtle or low-key for some people.

And I have a soft spot for "I Just Called to Say I Love You." It's not the best song in the world, but I like the song's sentiment. Take that off the list and replace it with Whitney Huston howling "I Will Always Love You."

I thought that "Scrambled Eggs" (aka "Yesterday") was an astonishingly poor choice as a bad song. But it's just some guy's opinion, y'know? Somebody prly came across the InExOb by searching for "Dan Hill" and didn't understand what I was on about, too.
The difference being, of course, is that I was right.

Edited by author 07-12-2004 12:57 AM
re. the List of Worst Songs...

You are ^#%$*ing me! "YESTERDAY"?? That song is the epitome of an awesome song writing itself! Hey, that was written by YOUNG McCartney before ALL his songs sounded sappy. leave the original and best alone, I say ;p

Oh, and I think 'Ben' was the sappiest thing MJ ever did... worse than 'You've Got a Friend in Me'. 'Ben' was a love song to a rat ;)....

I finally saw Farenheit 9/11. After it was over the audience gave the first standing ovation I've ever seen in a theater. There was some clapping for Return of the King, but nothing like this. Mike Moore is amazing. He's not only a moral beacon, but also a master filmmaker. He makes me ashamed of my own shortcomings as an artist.

Bill: Mr Mimi and I would love some pets, but our condo really doesn't allow it (besides, I want a dog and want to wait until we have a backyard it can run around in). But when we get our own place, a dog and one or two kitties are definitely on the agenda.

Since no one's saying anything, or anything that i can understand, i come forth and peddle my stuff! MWAHAHAHA. no, really. go see my journal. there's a story there. about...

SEXUAL ASSAULTING GEESE. full with images.

see all the details to avoid bitter curiosity!

http://www.deadjournal.com/users/zefiel/

also, KITTENAGE IS DAH AWWSOME.

Anyone bothered to see http://www.qwantz.com/ lately?

Mimi:
No kitty? Are you allergic?
If you, or anyone, is looking for a cat, go to the shelter/vet/humane society and see if you can get a hand-raised waif like Byron. While I certainly dote on Her Royal Highness's less-proffered affections, he's more physical in his lovin'. He's the only animal I've ever known that likes to be hugged.

Reading the newest of the new, I was struck by how powerfully Aesop's works affect us even today. I mean, a simple Wates Manglement worker, driving around in his Cabbage Truck, pondering the tale of the Big Red Dog and the Ass Manger.... Inspirational!

Awwwww...some people sleep with head under pillow. Byron uses his feets :)
I just bought a digital camera... dammit, *I* want something cute and furry to photograph. Something NOT my husband, that is...;p

Lilly = they were doing promos, and Andy and Pete Smith said they'd both wear the suit and do some spots. Well, Andy did 'em and they got used, and Pete never did get around to keeping up his end of the bargain. If you pay attention you can see that his wallet is still in his pocket under the suit, BTW.

The other people in that picture? The bespectacled blonde is yours truly. The redhead on Andy's other side is Wendy Lee. If you've seen my ReBoot website, Slack & Hash's Domain, I'm Slack and she's the elusive Hash.

Edited by author 07-08-2004 11:38 PM
"Would you like thome--THYRUP?!"
Doo-WEET, doo-WEET!
--"Doctor Tongue's 3-D House of Pancakes"

rapturously clutching our Molsons
Mourn for the lost stubbies! ...which is also not a metaphor.

I know somewhere at my parents house is a copy of the sound-track for Strange Brew. Not an episode, of course, but pretty much a protracted sketch. For the run of the shows, I gotta say I rather enjoyed the work of Woody Tobias Jr. (also not a metaphor)

Greetings and general blandishments from the great state of Nevada. Actually, I'm home now, but that's where I was for the past week.

Alas, I know this bus has long since departed, but for the record, I think I would have wanted to ask Andy Merrill how much he got paid to wear the SG suit, or if he just had lost a bet. (Or, alternately, if this fulfilled some deeply-rooted Jungian archetype for him.)

Do we get an explanation of the other people in the picture, hmmm?

Don't get me started on SCTV...whoops, well, too late. Circa my junior year of high school, on Friday night (when SCTV was shown--was it on after Fridays, or was that on a different network?), ma bezzie Sid and I would sit there with our toques on, rapturously clutching our Molsons. (That's not a metaphor.) And somewhere I still have audio tapes I made of when the Boomtown Rats were the musical guest when they did the parody of To Sir With Love.

Are these credentials sufficient for me to be allowed in Moncton??? (Ohpleaseohpleaseohplease...)

"If you go ANYWHERE in the WORLD and say "I'm from CANADA" instead of "I'm from AMERICA" you're 900% less likely to be KILLED!"

One of the first phrases I learned in Korean, actually (Miguk aniyo! Kanada waseyo!-- it's pidgin, but it works). Bum news about the job.

On the subject of Japanese ice cream, and the unlikely ingredients found therein: Man, watch a few episodes of "Iron Chef", and Raw Horse Icey Delight it perfectly believeable!
"Tonight's theme ingredient-- OLD TIRES!"
"Turkey sashimi-- a bold presentation..."
"It looks Chef Chen has his work cut out for him in this Kindergarten Child Battle!"
(One of these is true....)

"If you go ANYWHERE in the WORLD and say "I'm from CANADA" instead of "I'm from AMERICA" you're 900% less likely to be KILLED!"

Actually, i met a canadian once. we were on a visit to this little town where sculptors from all over the world (well, kinda) were entering in a contest. and we talked about his sculpture and such in slow, awkward english for a while, until someone asked him stuff in spanish and he replied on perfect spanish, which he spoke.

Well, much much, many thanks to you all! sadly, i didn't get the job because the ad neglected to mention finished high school was a must. i'll try again next year, when i hopefully have HS, a trip to amerika, and lots of english tests like the TOEFL under my belt. many thanks to all.

Anyone who reads this page who is also not an SCTV fan I WILL HIT WITH ROCKS!

Small rocks. I'm not an unreasonable Splut.

Fave ep: When the Commies took over SCTV. Or the Godfather one. The Cabbage-Head Aliens. Also, most of the other ones. "The Woodchuck, a denizen of snowy climes..."

Moncton? That city's FAKE! Tell us all you can discover about the secret fish mines!!

Edited by author 07-07-2004 11:14 PM
Zeifel: good luck with the interview - i hope you get it. Will you have to work out of Mexico City?

Ernst: I would send you some nice weather, but all we seem to be getting here is grey, cool, ugly days. Like late April/early may. It seems to go from partly cloudy with a chance of sun to mostly cloudy with a chance of showers. It is dry.

Negaduck: Cool you're doing the commentary on the Brak Show DVD's and i will be sure to uy it once it comes out - I've downloaded a few episodes from the internet and I find them quite funny (we don't get it here). Also, while reading your Gonterman mistings I remembered that that was my main exposure to Space Ghost up till recently, till I could grab a few of those from the internet and watch them (as we don't get those either up here)...and once the first DVD came out I bought it, and really enjoyed it too. Thanks! Also while reading them, I realized that's how I came across your page Bill - a link from Negs' page to your Inexob!

Anyway, I'm off to my favourite town, Moncton! (tomorrow) - anyone else an SCTV fan?

Mad Luckies galore! A wish for fulfilling employment from many hundreds of kilometres northwards... I mean, SOMEONE'S got to have it, right?

Two cats and a New Englander
WISH YOU MAD LUCKIES!!!!

Wow, now i wonder who posts more, if lavender or me. anyway, not a lot to say tonight, other than to ask for you to wish me mad luckies. tomorrow i trek to mexico's airport (3 hours away) to ask for a job at american airlines, they put an ad for a 'reservations agent' and OMYGODIT'DBESORADTOHAVETHATJOBPLEASEGODANDKITTIESLETMEHAVETHEJOB!!!!

Edited by author 07-07-2004 12:06 AM
Must...stop...posting...all...day.

I read about two paragraphs of the trash compactor article before my eyes, like twin knives, did begin to stab at my very brain.

Here's something else to stab at your brain.

Edit: Rats. It didn't work. It was a livejournal icon parodying the slash community with the pairing Bush/Pretzel and the fic title "Twisted Love."

Oh, great, now I remember how horribly betrayed the 11-year-old Star Wars fan who lives deep inside my brain feels. Stupid corporation that wears George Lucas's skin! GRRR!

Could someone please send by express mail a quanta or two of summer? I don't know about everywhere else, but here on the Canadian Steppes, it's bucketing down rain like it's supposed to do in England in the winter, and precisely like it never ever does here. LAY OFF THE SUV'S, CLIMATE MOLESTORS!

The clouds open up and choirs of Twi’lek angels sing. There is a mighty roar of thunder and suddenly there appears, a giant figure in the heavens, George Lucas the Almighty Flanneled One. All present throw themselves to the ground, bowing before their deity, except those people who are only here with their dates or families and not because they are amongst the Chosen Ones. George Lucas smotes the heathens.

FANGEEKS: Praise be to the Almighty Flanneled One, he who brings justice to all, punishing the blasphemers and rewarding his faithful!

LUCAS: (great, booming voice) I SENSE THAT MY FOLLOWERS ARE LOST AND CONFUSED. TELL ME, WHAT IS IT THAT TROUBLES THEE, MY BELIEVERS?

FANGEEKS: O Almighty Flanneled One, truly thou art great, taking pity on we who cannot comprehend thy workings, for thou movest in mysterious ways! We are not worthy of thy movies, much less thy divine presence!

LUCAS: GET UP OFF THY KNEES THAT THOU MAYEST ASK ME WHAT TROUBLES THY SOULS! THOU HAVE BEEN TRULY FAITHFUL TO ME FOR MANY YEARS, AND THUS ARE RIGHTEOUSLY DESERVING OF THAT WHICH I BESTOW UPON THEE. FOR UNLIKE SOME OTHER MAJOR DEITIES, I WISH FOR MY FOLLOWERS TO UNDERSTAND MY TEACHINGS, AND STRIVE TO MAKE MY WORKS LOGICAL AND CONSISTENT.

FANGEEKS: Almighty Flanneled One, thou art generous and good! Tell us, why does not Owen Lars recognize C-3PO in Part Four of thy Devine Sextet?

LUCAS: VERILY THY INQUIRY IS WORTHY, AND I WOULDST ANSWER THAT I COULD, BUT ALAS! THOU MUST WAIT UNTIL EPISODE III, WHENCE THY QUESTION SHALL BE ANSWERED, AND IF IT IS NOT, THEN DRAW THY OWN CONCLUSIONS THOU MUST, OR CHALKEST IT UP TO PLOT HOLES.

FANGEEKS: Thank you, Almighty Flanneled One! Thou art most kind!
The fangeeks throw themselves to the floor once again. The clouds draw closed, the Twi’lek angels sing once more, and George Lucas is gone.


Taken from this thing:
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=980320

W00t. This is what I think the Season of Passage Martians look like.
http://www.deviantart.com/view/1197632/

I love Bri-chan. I love her and I want to marry her and I want to have her artistically gifted children.

Negs: Awesome. Another reason to buy the DVD.

Zef: I love Zorak, too. I love any evil funseeker.

I did The Thing today, and they said it's okay to blab, so - I was recording a commentary on "Goldfish" for "The Brak Show" DVD #1. They wanted a fan to come in and talk to Brak, and they just happen to know a longtime fan who lives in Atlanta, so... We talked about all sorts of stuff, like what a complex process it is for Brak to pick his nose, and the basis of Mom and Dad's relationship, and where their planet is, and whether Zorak is fated to be blown up by big white-costumed guys, and is there a special someone in his life, and so on. We'll see how much of that makes it into the DVD when it comes out this Winter.

"Yes, there's a Mrs. Merrill."
Rats.

Edited by author 07-05-2004 11:25 PM
Bill: Actually, they did give me a week's warning. I just now posted the question because I was worried people would bug me for a week if I gave more time. Maybe not the best logic, but... it's the meds, they're screwing me up. Yeah! It's the meds' fault!

Lavendar: Yes, there's a Mrs. Merrill. She's named Stacey Isenhour, and she's really sweet, and she looks like the woman right behind the nervous-looking man in this photo.

Edit: Huh, no inline images? OK, you just get a link then.

Edited by author 07-05-2004 10:43 PM
It's starting to sound like an Isometric comic in here.

"Um.. well.. i saw 'The nightmare before christmas' again.."
Best stop motion movie EVER. Granted there haven't been too many, but still. I think I like it more as an adult than I did as an ankle-biter.

"Um... if you could ask Brak/Andy Merrill anything, what would you ask him?"
Is there a Mrs. Merrill?

Since I was 11 years old, I have read The Season of Passage by Christopher Pike once every year. That’s 9 times. I just got finished reading it again, and the part where the astronauts first enter the Gorbachev still gives me chills. You wouldn’t think a story about people going to Mars and getting attacked by alien monsters could be so original.
There has only been one author that has ever made me await his next book with bated breath, and it is Mr. Pike. The writing style I’m trying to create now is very similar to his, except instead of alien monsters I write about corporate monsters and instead of astronauts it’s activists. Do you think that will sell?

Go buy. Passage is going for less than a dollar.
http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detai...51?v=glance&s=books
The fool reviewer who didn’t like it called the Gorbachev “the Lenin.” *snort*

Edit: And the other fool reviewer gave away spoilers. DO NOT READ.

Edited by author 07-05-2004 10:01 PM
Negs, bud-dy, been thinkin' 'bout it since I got the GPML thing, and I'm at a loss. What HASN'T been asked?

They should've given you more warning. Like a week's worth.

I'd ask it on my page, but that only gets read the day after I post it.

I like Zorak WAY more than Brak. and moltar is way nicer too. i haven't seen anything more than SG coast to coast, tho.

Um... if you could ask Brak/Andy Merrill anything, what would you ask him? Especially if it has anything to do with The Brak Show.

I got a good reason for asking this...

Um.. well.. i saw 'The nightmare before christmas' again..

YOU WILL IGNORE THE MESSAGE PREVIOUS TO THIS, FOR THIS IS THE VOICE OF VULGO--TONY! FROM ACCOUNTING! YOU KNOW, TONY! NOT-A-DEMON TONY FROM ACCOUNTING!

THE LATTES ARE ESPECIALLY DELISH TODAY, DON'T YOU THINK, FELLOW WEAKLING FLESHY SCUM? LET US DRINK! DRIIIIINK!

HERE ARE SOME EXTRA EXCLAMATION POINTS TO CONVINCE YOU OF MY UTTER LACK OF INTEREST IN EATING YOUR BABIES! RAW!

!!!

DON'T DO WHAT HE SAYS!

That wasn't me, that was VULGOROX the UNSMELLABLE, a foul demon from the Underworld, who stole my password! DON'T GO IN THE CUBICLES!

He's split himself into tiny slimy slugs, each an essence of his EVIL! And snaking into your Starbucks cups! Drink, and he'll turn you into ZOMBIES! Flee! FLEE!!! FLEE IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!

Okay, if you're a zombie, technically, I guess you're still alive. But FLEE ANYWAY!!!! HOW MANY EXCLAMATION POINTS DO I NEED TO CONVINCE YOU?!?!?!?!!?!!!!!!!!!

IMPORTANT NOTE:

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TALK ABOUT GONTERMAN IN THE COMMENTS IF YOU DON'T WANNA. FEEL FREE TO INTRODUCE ANY SUBJECT.

THAT IS ALL! RETURN TO YOUR CUBICLES!

Edited by author 07-05-2004 05:44 PM
Wow. That was something. At least in the first installment things, y'know, happened. But we're back to standard Davey New-Meds--"No detail too trivial not to be noted."

First off, why is it a PDF file? Am I supposed to print this out on the finest vellum, bind it in Moroccan leather and clutch to my heaving bosom as the lifelong treasure it will be to my generations of heirs? I just want to print it out and take a blue pencil to it. This boy may think the one thing he needs is a robot sex slave in a bunny suit, but what he really needs is an editor.

It's 8 pages loooong, when it could easily be 4. Every third sentence has at least a word that could be trimmed. Do we really need a clunkily-written paragraph describing Briz's clothes when it's followed by a picture of the same? And there's repetition like this:

“You and me both, Jonathan.” Adam told Johnny,using
the long version of his name.

Thanks. With only 2 characters involved in the conversation, I would've collapsed from the confusion of there being both a Johnny and a Jonathan! I might also have thought that long version of his name was Johnnystopheles!

Let's see: there's a phone call about a letter, then we're read the letter, then there's ANOTHER phone call, which is about the letter. In his Bad Meds Years, he would've killed Robotnik, complained about the oppression of German-Americans and helped the Power Rangers beat his evil community college English teacher in the same amount of space.

Of course, some things never change. Unless you count Davey's use of tense, which can change over the course of a sentence.

Other tidbits:

According to the phone book and the post office,this
mansion belongs to Copper Mystran, a former magician
slash hypnotist turned recluse.

Finally, the phone book and the post office have set aside their decades-long bloody feud and published the same information!

Slash? He isn't going to have sex with Spock, is he?

"Recluse," we will soon learn, is defined as "guy who travels the world and is never home." Davey use Bizarro dictionary, it am always wrong!

It was this
toon-like image which gave this mouse,Johnny Briz by
name, a charm once kept for a corporate sponsored rodent
cartoon character, instead of this live animal who found
himself in the human world just a few days ago.

It took several of those days to write this compound sentence, and he would die of old age before anyone could parse it.

As a mouse, Johnny's movements are just as quiet as he
was when he was two and a half inches tall standing on his
hind legs, something he'd claim he always stood and
walked on.

HAHAHA! As opposed to standing and walking on what, his tonsils?

“Justa few weeks ago,” Johnny said in his current broken
English, “I would use it as couch.”

Dude, stop with that incomprehensible broken English! He said "Justa" instead of "Just a"! I'm totally lost! Where's my Broken English/English dictionary?

He'd use molded high-impact plastic as a couch? Man, I can't even find a comfortable futon!

“chuuuuu?” Johnny said, tilting his head in an inquisitive
manner.

Gesundheit! And actually, he's tilting his head to stop the drool from pooling in his mouth.

Let me guess--He either wants a big chaw of Skoal, or this is some anime thing. Sure, he knows some anime cliches, hey why not it makes total sense so far anyway. What mouse doesn't?

It was
Roy who first gave Johnny the moniker of “The People's
Mickey Mouse,” mostly because of his voice —very similar
to the mentioned cartoon character —a perchance of
prankery and cheerfulness, and choice of outfit which Roy
and some quick thinking Disney fans made up for who they
taken in as “their mousie.”

The verbal equivalent of a 20-car pile-up. And the word is not "perchance," but "Peaches and Herb."

“I'd rather have him fall
prostrate in front of you and make him kiss your feet.”
Adam's latest wisecrack — twisted sense of humor Johnny
likes —made Johnny laugh out loud. A laugh nearly
identical to Mickey Mouse's “Huh-Ha!”

OMG KISS FEET ROTFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DVK U R 2 FUNY

"Huh-Ha!" A sound nearly indentical to Rush Limbaugh violently ejecting a large chunk of pork after being given the Heimleich.

Johnny opened the letterhead

He next opened the signature and the text, shredding it completely.

I have included an investment account in your
name with 150 shares of The Walt Disney Company stock, as well as an
extra share framed for you to put on your wall. It is my hopes that we
can have a better relationship after this chapter is past.

"Also, sorry about setting your mom on fire and eating your dog."

Yeah, like that'd happen anywhere outside of Davey's fevered mind. "And please accept our gift of a Japanese girl in a Minnie suit who gives Clinton jobs."

"[I] faxed a copy to the local cops,
and a second here in my wallet, so I can easily flick it out
when I need be. If it doesn't work, well, you've seen what I can do.”

Write at a fourth grade level?

I really laughed at this part. Imagine the police reading THAT fax. And who is he going to "flick it out" to? Very easily impressed, not particularly bright girls at the furry con?

At that, Johnny folded the paper at it's respective pre-made
creases

Holy shotz, I gotta lie down after that action scene!

"How
can people not like me be
like this Mickey Mouse?”

Tor head hurts!

Adam knelt down next to
Johnny and shook the
mouse's brown hair.

He grabbed a fistful of mouse mullet and jerked it around until Briz's brain rattled like a loose screw in a coffee can.

The cell phone rang again, an electronic BRAAAAI-I-I-I-I-
I-I-I-I-IP that didn't sound natural to either one of them, but
nevertheless, Adam picked the phone up. When he saw the
number on a display, he found out that it was his father
calling from Taiwan.

He usually doesn't pick up the phone unless the ringtone sounds natural? What, he's got it set on "MOO!"?

Actually, BRAAAAIIIP! sounds like a fart. Those are natural. I can demonstrate, if you'd like. Can't stink up the room anymore than the story does.

“Adam, good morning for you, if my calculations are
correct.”

Okay, now THAT'S Broken English.

"Now since
I've got my own hassles over in Bangkok,

Magician slash hynotist slash child prostitute devotee.

I think his problem is that he's lost, since he's in TAIWAN.

nothing I can't
handle, but I might be a bit late in coming home, so don't
go and act dog-eyed waiting for me."

"And when I do get home, don't run around and pee on the carpet again!"

“I've got some grub whipped up in the kitchen."

Since Jonny (long name Jonathon) is a mouse, I think he means "grubs."

Truly, this IS the Saviour of Disney! All Hail the Mullet Master!

Oh sweet merciful phrack.
Davey has done another installment of Mistic Mice. I found it on the DisneyEcho board he hangs around on:
http://www.foxfirestudios.us/mysticmice/001/mysticmice1-1.pdf

True, Bill, it could be a nickname... but considering they are just MEETING for the first time, calling a japanese girl by her nickname would probably grossly insult her ;)
And she'd be -chan, as well. (just ticking off more reasons why Davey is a very confused little man...;))

I'm more concerned about this 'Copper' person mentioned. According to his sketchbook, Copper is some Tuxedo Mask ripoff who keeps a harem of CONSENTING french-maid girls and is Adam's adopted father. eeeuw.

"The closest I could get 'Nitsan' would be something like "Nitsuko'san' or something."

While I may be giving the benefit of the doubt where it isn't deserved, maybe "Nitsan" is a nickname. Yes, I know, no REAL person gives someone a nickname who they've only known for seconds, but think about how many of his characters call him "Daveykins" within half a minute of meeting him.

Maybe she's called that because she has a lot of baby head lice. You know, "nits." Get the RID, Davey! Girl Cooties!

Zef:
That latest link you gave of your Gontertakes (back on 6/29) never worked for me until today.
HAHA! You also predicted the shape of the "ring" with the coffee cup's handles! I like the panel shapes, too. You're the Internet's Most Dangerous (to Gonterman) Cartoonist!

The bulgy guy? That's me. I've been surfing for Dawn Wells pr0n.

Oh! You mean the Comments guy! I don't know who he is. Once a month, I search Google images for "comment" and pick the first one that makes me laugh. He is quite unattractive, ain't he?

Bill: Who's the bulgy guy?

No, there's no way 'Nitsan' fits any japanese nomenclature. Female names usually end in 'ki', 'mi' or 'ko', (many exceptions, though - "Eri" "Miyuu" "Ria" etc) but the only japanese name I can think of off-hand that ends in the 'n' is Ken or Rin. The closest I could get 'Nitsan' would be something like "Nitsuko'san' or something.
Picking the names apart and finding out their meaning from the kanji was something I did YEARS ago as an anime fan. This is basic stuff.
as for the mood rings - they look like he got them from those cheap vending machines you see in supermarkets. Or from a christmas cracker ;)

"Nitsan" isn't a Japanese name. You can't even spell it in Japanese, although you can fiddle it up using katakana, the syllabery they use for "borrow words," names, and other things that aren't real Japanese words.

In Japanese, consonants are always paired with vowels - ma, mi, mu, me, mo. The only exception is that N can occur by itself. There are some sounds that look like dipthongs to us - tsu, chi, shi - but they aren't in Japanese. This is basic info that anyone who's studied Japanese picks up first, but apparently Davey-Kins hasn't done any real research. He's just using what he picked up from subtitled anime on that bigscreen TV.

Hen to hen o atsumete
Motto hen ni shimashou
Hen na hen na uchuu wa
Taihen da da-da

That's not a decoder ring! I know, I had one of those! It's a MOOD RING! Notice that it's black. That's the color mood rings turn when they die.

Okay, so maybe it's not a mood ring. As it sure doesn't look like a ring, unless they've started making rings that are shaped like () instead of O. However, it does look more like a ring than her face looks like a face. What could you eat with a mouth shaped like that, lemon wedges?

If you imagine a little eye on it, Davey's hand looks like a cute little dinosaur baby or sock puppet! AWWW!

re Gontie.
THAT'S IT??? A decoder ring?....I was hoping it'd be more peppermints. Or a cease-and-desist letter from the Douglas Adams estate ;)
So "Nitsan"(I'm pretty sure that's not a real Japanese name either..unless her name is 'Nit' and he's always being polite;)) knows uncommon words like 'shoestring' and 'decoder' but can't manage articles? Uh-huh.

Yeah, Negs... pity Gontie comics don't have a fast-forward button. We'd find the PLOT faster that way ;)

You haven't lived until you've read the Lay of Leithian while listening to Evenstar from the Two Towers soundtrack on endless repeat.

That is all.

Yeah, it's something else, I've been going through some of the old stuff too. It didn't occur to me years ago, but he sort-of resembles an old news anchor that used to be on the CBC years ago:

http://www.museum.tv/archives/etv/N/htmlN/...lto/nashknowlto.htm

I think it's the huge glasses.

IM TEH 1ST NEW POSTER!!!1!

Yeesh. Davey's stuff used to be insanely... un... insane. Now it's just dull.