Edited by author 03-05-2005 14:43
Welcome to our 'Now You Know' reviews section. If you haven't yet read a copy of 'NYK', get a free sample from http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/FREE.htm
Anyone wishing to review a printed copy should contact the editor with postal details. mailto:editor@nowyouknow.co.uk
We invite all readers to submit their comments, reviews and criticisms right here - no holds barred - and we invite the corresponding writers and columnists to respond accordingly.
Get involved.
Help develop our publications into what people want to read.
Get writing and join us online to have YOUR articles included in OUR publications.

My personal thoughts on Edition 11 of Now You Know.
Get a free copy at http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/FREE.htm
and then you can review it too.
============

The editor says some sensible stuff,
Jordan, on writing, sounds like he's had a huff,
The keyboard crew, they sound a mixed bunch,
Crisis in the Hoose, it amused me at lunch,
McDade Laid Bare? I guess his best he has tried,
But at dear Millie May - tears of laughter I cried,
Agnes & Senga - those two Scottish 'burds',
They certainly do have a way with their words,
I laughed and I chortled, I choked and went blue,
And that was just reading about thon big 'deid coo',
Shona Prophett - I doubt it, but interesting to see,
Eddie Elwood is fabulous, but then that is me,
Alternative Health - I laughed a great deal,
Rovin Ronnie on weight loss, sod it, eat a good meal,
The Moose, now I liked that, it gave me some thought,
And the bats, and the bear, that never were caught,
Then Jordan served up, 'At The End of the Day'
And dew drop tears, from my eyes they did stray,
I'm glad we had 'Nuts versus Zoo' near the end,
Plus Sigh 'n' Snooze, Woman Zone and 'my friend',
Paranoid Times, I'd read it all before,
But the final article left me looking for more...

WELCOME TO THE EDITORIAL DEPARTMENT

This section has been created to allow readers, writers and members of NYK to submit letters, ideas, suggestions and comments directly to 'Now You Know' magazine. ALL articles submitted to these pages will be considered for publication, as are the corresponding poems, rhymes, short stories and reviews sections of the main website.
Please remember that these open sections of our website can be accessed by everyone. ALL unsuitable material will be deleted.

Back to http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk

Back to http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

EDITION 12

NOW YOU KNOW

Due out September 2005

All submission deadlines - 15th July 2005

Satire
Humour
Short stories
Poems
Topical features
Sign 'n' Snooze (Science news)
Paranoid Times

Submissions are invited for the new NYK Media publication, 'Paranoid Times'.

Paranoid Times previously featured as a section within 'Now You Know', ( http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk ) but with the diversity of the subject, ranging from health and drugs to spy technology and beyond, we have decided to develop this into a new title. It will be available in both printed format (ISSN 1745-3356) and online in electronic format (ISSN 1745-3364).

The launch of this new publication is scheduled for 2006. Anyone interested in taking part in this particular writing and publishing project should contact the editor, as follows:
mailto:editor@paranoidtimes.co.uk

The corresponding website will be developed at http://www.paranoidtimes.co.uk

'NOW YOU KNOW' EDITION 12

Work is well under way for edition 12 of 'Now You Know' and we are still seeking commercial sponsorship for various sections of the publication.

Edition 12 will be supported by The British Web Shop ( http://www.britishwebshop.co.uk ) and the Racing Book Shop ( http://www.racingbookshop.com ) and it is hoped that our readers and writers will support these sites however and whenever they possibly can.

I ask that anyone with a website please link to either or both of the above. Without the financial support of sponsors and advertisers, 'Now You Know' would not be possible.

Once again, anyone interested in raising some funds or earning some extra income through sales of 'Now You Know' should contact NYK Media direct - mailto:sales@nykmedia.com

The electronic version will be available to members with full resell rights.

http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk
http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

DEALING WITH PRESS & PUBLICITY

Twice this week I have been asked about Press Releases and how to answer questions for the press - newspapers, radio etc - so I decided to include the following article for your information. I hope it is of some help and would also like to thank Taurus Public Relations (details at end of article) for their allowing the use of this important information.

A DO-IT-YOURSELF GUIDE TO WRITING PRESS RELEASES FOR THE UK TRADE PRESS

THE 'DOs' OF PRESS RELEASE WRITING
 

EDITORS NEED INFORMATION

The first thing to remember is that journalists and editors need information. They need it provided in a way that will make their job easier, not harder.

So only send information which is news - and current news.


IDENTIFY THE GOOD NEWS

Send news which shows your business in a good light: order announcements, personnel appointment announcements, announcements of major contracts and case studies showing your product and service being used to best advantage by your customers.

Look for opportunities to write or comment on other topics affecting your business.


MAKE SURE IT'S RELEVANT

When you write a press release send it only to those publications and radio & TV stations which are likely to be interested.

For instance, a glossy life-style magazine is unlikely to cover an order announcement from an engineering company, and your local radio station probably won't want to know that your Scottish division has appointed a new personnel manager.

If an editor gets used to 'binning' your press releases, he might miss the one that really is newsworthy.

So, before you start writing think: "Is this likely to be of interest to anyone other than me?"


THE FIRST DRAFT

Given that the story is worth writing, start with a rough draft. Write one paragraph (just a couple of sentences will do), on WHAT the news is about.

Then another on WHY it's news.

Write another each on HOW and WHEN.

Decide which of the paragraphs is most important and arrange them on in order of interest. (Editors edit from the bottom up.)

Add more information; each successive paragraph should contain more detail.

You can repeat and emphasise things - say them in different ways - but the more important the facts, the nearer the top they should be.

Finally write the first paragraph which should contain answers to all the four questions in the maximum of two sentences - but preferably one.

Add a quote after all the vital information if you want, eg: Martyn Evans of Taurus Public Relations says, "This guide is the best thing since sliced bread!"

If you want people to contact you, put the details in the final paragraph, but note: an editor may not always use this if it's blatant advertising.

On the bottom of the last page include a contact name, address, telephone and fax number, e-mail and web site, so that a journalist can contact you if there are any questions unanswered.

If you can think of a witty headline, it won't do any harm but keep it short, sharp and to the point - and be prepared for the editor to disregard it completely.


THINK ABOUT PRESENTATION

Each release should be well-presented in 1.5 line spacing, on the company's headed paper so that the text can be easily read and edited.

At the top state 'Press Release' or 'Press Information' and number the pages. Show when the text continues to another page and when it ends.

If you are not sending a picture with the release but one is available, say so at the bottom.

If you are emailing it is probably wisest to use plain text rather than html.


TAKE ANOTHER LOOK

When you've written your press release and you are sure that it can't be improved upon, take a break before you look at it again. Remove all unnecessary words or phrases - leave style up to the editor.

Double check that you've answered the four basic questions and ask someone else to read it through for you for grammatical and spelling errors.


ADD A PICTURE

For a small investment a photograph can increase the likelihood of publication. A good well-defined picture, usually 5" x 7" colour print should be labelled on the back to cross-reference it with the press release.

Digital picture quality should be a minimum of 300 dpi.


MAKE SURE EVERYONE'S HAPPY AND APPROVES

Before you think about distributing your press release examine it closely to see if there's any information in it that will require third-party approval. Photographs need approval too.

A case-study, for instance, will require the approval of your customer. Send a copy of the press release and the photograph if you have one, ask them to check it and to sign and date it to show they've approved the content for issue to the media.


SENDING IT OUT

If you must fold the press release only do so once and use a C5 envelope. Address it clearly to the editor by name, followed by the publication by name and then the address.

Journalists and editors often work on more than one publication at a time and their staff may do the sorting and 'binning' - so send the information separately to each publication, even if it's the same editor and same address.

Some editors now expect copy by email, but the majority of trade publications still like to receive a press release on paper with a photograph enclosed. If in doubt, check first. If you do send unsolicited information to the media by e-mail, cut and paste the words into the actual e-mail document. It's wider not to send attachments or graphics files unless specifically asked to.

If in doubt, send it by post.


COLOUR SEPARATION

If you've distributed your press release to trade journals with a photograph, you may find that you'll be asked to pay for 'colour separation' of the picture or an editorial charge. Such requests are for sums in the region of £100. If you don't pay you may still get your piece published but if you do pay, then you are guaranteed to appear.


WHAT IF IT'S NOT PUBLISHED OR BROADCAST?

Don't be disillusioned if you don't succeed - try again. Try talking to the editor and find out when there's a relevant feature coming up and ask for a timetable of features to be sent to you.

A well-timed piece of editorial often has a better chance of publication.

Make a friend of the editor, but don't nag, chivvy, cajole or otherwise make a nuisance of yourself. That will do your cause more harm than good.


THE 'DON'Ts' OF PRESS RELEASE WRITING

Press releases should never be regarded as works of lofty literary merit.

The intention of a press release is to not to give an editor profound intellectual stimulation, but to present facts which may, or may not, be used in the publication.

The choice of whether or not publish is down to the editor, not you.

A journal or broadcast editor or a newspaper news desk can receive literally hundreds of press releases every day, not to mention e-mails. An editor has just seconds to decide whether even to read the release, let alone use the material contained in it.

In the same way that we don't believe everything we read in the papers, an editor's not obliged to believe everything in a release.


CARDINAL SINS

Ask any editor what's wrong with most of the press releases received and you'll hear the following list:

IRRELEVANT - The information is extraneous to the publication or media, and of no interest to readers.

OVER-LONG -The editor can't be bothered, or spare the time, to read long and rambling text.

BADLY PRESENTED - The text is laid out on the page in such a way that it's difficult to read at a glance or worse still it came as an attachment complete with an enormous graphic file.

BADLY WRITTEN - Poor grammar, cumbersome syntax.

NO SUBSTANCE - The release is saying nothing new to the readers; it's mere 'puffery'

NO CREDIBILITY - The release is making excessive claims that can't be substantiated.

___________________________________

© Taurus Public Relations 2004
This guide has been brought to you by Taurus Public Relations, 9 Stratford Arcade, High Street
Stony Stratford, Milton Keynes MK11 1AY UK
pr@tauruspr.co.uk www.tauruspr.co.uk
Tel: + 44 1908 265774 Fax: +44 1908 265795
-----------------------

Back to http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk

CALL FOR FINAL SUBMISSIONS

Edition 12 of 'Now You Know' is in the final stages of preparation but it is not too late to submit articles, poems or short stories (under 1500 words) etc for consideration.

mailto:editor@nowyouknow.co.uk

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

The following sections have been incorporated into the next edition of 'Now You Know'.

Eddie Torial
News Bytes
Alternative Health and Beauty
Learning and Earning Opportunities
Poems, Riddles and Rhymes
Scottish Artist Profile
Agnes & Senga
Millie May
Paranoid Times
Readers Pages
Paul's Corner - 72 Miles from the Sea
Roving Ronnie
Sign 'n' Snooze (Science News)
Bargain Hunting, Shopping & Reviews
Woman Zone
Racing Section - Shona Prophett

PLUS informative articles, short stories, photographs and illustrations

Submissions for any of the above, for inclusion in future editions, should be emailed to the editor.

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

This email newsletter is brought to you by
www.booktrade.info - please redistribute freely

Book Trade News Digest for Wed, October 12, 2005

--------------------Advertisement---------------------------
Nerve Shredding Fiction
------------------------------------------------------------
Nemesis, the terrifying new novel from Vincent Cobb
Order your proof copy - click here

http://www.booktrade.info/a.php/24

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Granta editor expects more involvement from new owner
------------------------------------------------------------
Ian Jack, editor of literary magazine Granta, which was sold
to the Swedish-born philanthropist Sigrid Rausing last week,
is expecting a more involved management style

http://www.booktrade.info/nr.php?id=6679

------------------------------------------------------------
Bertelsmann to buy book club in France
------------------------------------------------------------
Bertelsmann hopes to expand its book club business through
an acquisition in France

http://www.booktrade.info/nr.php?id=6685
  
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Strong sales for Clays
------------------------------------------------------------
Book printer Clays of Bungay was a star performer in a
difficult year for parent group St Ives

http://www.booktrade.info/nr.php?id=6684

------------------------------------------------------------
Rowling, Dylan win Quills prizes for books
------------------------------------------------------------
J.K. Rowling led the list of writers winning prizes at the
first Quill Book Awards on Tuesday, and singer/songwriter
Bob Dylan was awarded the biography/memoir prize

http://www.booktrade.info/nr.php?id=6683

------------------------------------------------------------
Whitehall considers curbs on memoirs of special advisers
------------------------------------------------------------
Whitehall is investigating new rules to stop senior civil
servants and Downing Street special advisers making money
out of selling their memoirs

http://www.booktrade.info/nr.php?id=6681

------------------------------------------------------------
The judge's tale
------------------------------------------------------------
'As chair of the committee I felt like Evel Knievel
preparing to jump over the Grand Canyon'

http://www.booktrade.info/nr.php?id=6680

------------------------------------------------------------
Blooker rewards books from blogs
------------------------------------------------------------
The best books based on blogs are to be recognised in their
own literary prize

http://www.booktrade.info/nr.php?id=6682

------------------------------------------------------------

Book trade news headlines:
http://www.booktrade.info/

Book trade directories:
http://www.booktrade.info/directories/

book2book forums
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Pubdaq
http://www.pubdaq.com/

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Send us your news - email: newsdesk@booktrade.info

General enquiries to b2b@booktrade.info

HAVE YOU GOT WHAT IT TAKES?

On behalf of the publishers, writers, artists and hangers-on at 'Now You Know' magazine, I would like to invite you all to join us online in the the greatest entrepreneurial experiment we have ever launched.

In association with the infamous 'Big Bad Bunny' and his 'Cyberdosh', NYK Media is inviting complete strangers to create their own path to becoming a million-hare!

This is not merely a competition - this is a real live opportunity to become a real live millionaire. It's FREE to 'play', you do not need any special skills, you do need a computer and an internet connection and, best of all, ALL THE DOSH YOU GENERATE IS YOURS TO KEEP!

Have you got what it takes to become the first ever Cyberdosh millionaire? Can you make it as our TOP TRADER for 2006.

Find out more at http://www.cyberdosh.com

For and on behalf of http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

Illustrious Exile

I often wondered why Robert Burns, an exact contemporary of Wilberforce, made almost no mention of the slave trade in his correspondence or poetry. Such references to slavery that he does make seem curiously stilted -- 'The coward slave we pass him by', 'Wha sae base as be a slave' -- almost as if the slave had some kind of option in the matter, and that the condition was in some way reprehensible. I know that he wrote 'The Slaves Lament', but it is hardly the diatribe against the slave trade that one might have expected from the author of 'A Man's a Man for a' that' -- ironically enough the poem in which the reference to the 'coward slave' is made.
   To compound this, we have the fact that in 1786 he had actually accepted the position of book-keeper on a Jamaican sugar estate, and it was only the success of the Kilmarnock Edition that stopped him from emigrating. What on earth would he have made of the terrible reality of plantation slavery?
   We shall never know, of course. I have family connections in the Caribbean (though I am Scottish)and I've always been interested in Burns, so I decided to write the Journal that Burns might have kept if he had left Scotland and gone to Jamaica. I imagined 'discovering' his diary covering the years 1786 to 1796, to find that it contains a full and frank account of his thoughts, his adventures, his amours, and of course the poetry that he wrote in response to the stimuli of a West Indian environment. I have tried to be as accurate, historically, as possible, and I hope that the book may open some eyes as to the true facts of Scottish involvement in the sugar and slave trades. I believe it is quite true to the character of Burns, though no doubt there will be purists ready to take issue with me for daring the hijack the national bard!
   The book took a long time to write but I am pleased with it. It will be published at the beginning of January 2006. I'd welcome any comments or thoughts, before or after it makes its appearance! You might want to look at the publisher's feature site by clicking on this link:

http://www.peepaltreepress.com/single_book...?isbn=1-84523-028-0
 
Andrew Lindsay

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

GOOD LUCK THIS WEEKEND!

Kate Cassidy - PERFORMING LIVE in the Scottish Final of the Emegenza Acoustic Festival, Sunday 4th December 2005 Favela, 17 John Street, Glasgow

Tel: 0141 552 3505.
Doors open 7pm
Tickets £6.00

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk
http://www.katecassidy.co.uk

We had a slight problem trying to send out last week's newsletter resulting in some people having received it twice and others, apparently, not receiving one. Please let me know if you are still awaiting your December newsletter along with any comments relating to edition 12 of NYK.
Thank you.

mailto:nykmedia1@aol.com
http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

Trying again... copy/paste for last attempt failed.

WANTED!
Budding entrepreneurs wanted to take part in a daring adventure to find our first Cyberdosh Million-Hare. By logging on to http://www.cyberdosh.com you are invited to join us as an auction buddy, running your very own business buying and selling your choice of goods. This is a totally FREE TO ENTER reality ‘game’ where players set up their own virtual business and trade online. Everyone's a winner - Play Cyberdosh - then use your buddy points as bunny points and see if you can lay claim to the title of TOP TRADER - 2006

For the more adventurous player who may want to invest right from the start, you can sign up for a Gold account with an actual store, saving you a fortune in the long run, as there are no listing fees, no monthly maintenance fees and no auctioneers’ commissions. Top this with your very own domain name and website and you could be trading fulltime in no time.

Readers and viewers will be kept up to date with progress both on our website and in ‘Now You Know’ magazine. As a budding entrepreneur, we will advertise your new store FREE OF CHARGE on http://www.cyberdosh.com

Players please note that, for tax purposes, profits from online trading are classed as income. This is a REAL money adventure and ‘players’ must be over 18.

FIND OUT MORE AT http://www.cyberdosh.com

The new pages at Cyberdosh have been updated and I'd like to welcome the 2 newest members who joined us over there. The Cyberdosh messageboards are now up and running and await buyer, seller and casual observer reviews. Check it out for yourself at http://www.cyberdosh.com

Edition 12 of 'Now You Know' is available to buy online NOW - have you got your copies?
http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

News about the voting system / writers' poll:

Please note that multiple votes from the same IP address are blocked. Only one vote per IP will be logged.

Happy voting!

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

Hi

When I talk to new and aspiring writers and filmmakers lately I've been absolutely stunned at the negativity they have encountered about trying to break into the Film and TV industry.
Yes this is one of the most competitive industries on the planet, yes you have to be willing to work incredibly hard to succeed, but the negativity displayed by some tutors, professionals and speakers in Scotland has led me to examin what the real problem is. The answer is very simple. They are deeply miserable because they are in the wrong job.
Success can only be measured by how happy you are, (we all know there are plenty of deeply unhappy rich people). So how do you know if this is the right job for you? Ask youself the following questions.
Why do I want to be A Writer/Producer/Director/DOP etc?
VALIDATION? This is the worst reason in the world! You are setting yourself up for a constant kicking. Be the measure of your own worth, don't rely on others to validate your worth.
SECURITY? You want routine, job security, a pension provider? This is predominantly a business for freelancers who need to be highly self motivated and ALWAYS chasing and planning the next job.
MONEY/GLAMOUR? Obviously when people want your services it can be very lucrative but you need to be able to manage your finances and plan a strategy to keep yourself as you build a career. Alas, the "glamour" is mostly for the very successful actors.
LOVE OF THE PROCESS? Good! But you need to remember that in almost all roles this is a collaborative process and you will need to be able to work with people and Cooperate.
THE NEED TO COMMUNICATE? Fantastic? If you can always be excited about being part of the storytelling process then everything that happens after that is a bonus.
Before the deeply unhappy pour their anger out please understand that I know EXACTLY how tough a time some people have had. The reason I write this is because I see friends dropping out of the industry all around me (usually just hit 35 and deeply disilusioned) what I think is wrong is the number who then pour their vitriol onto the new and aspiring people coming through. I love my job. I know plenty who do. This is the most exciting job I could ever have and I honestly believe that DESPITE how tough it can be you can succeed. Okay I have had my huge rant. Below are the details of a class I am running in Feb, where I promise you there will be very real but positive info available.

WANT TO WRITE
TV DRAMA?
The highly praised one day seminar "Writing TV Drama" returns to Edinburgh.
Suitable for beginners and experienced writers, this class receives fantastic responses from attendees.
“Totally practical, relevant and specific.” “Essential, I learned more in one day than I did in 4 years at University.”
“I came away so inspired and that feeling has not left me.”

There are hundreds of "how to write drama" courses. This isn't one of them. Instead the course teaches what a writer would normally learn after working 2-3 years in TV, such as understanding the world of Script Editors, Commissioners and Agents. How to get that vital first break and sell your work. Accepting and employing criticism and handling rewrites.
The tutor is award winning Writer and Director Adrian Mead
DATE: 10.00 - 5.00pm Saturday 4th Feb 2006
VENUE: ST Columba’s by the Castle.  Johnston Terrace. Edinburgh
COURSE FEE: £40 incl VAT and refreshments.  Payable in advance.
e-mail info@meadkerr.com or call on 0131 554 4539.

In response to Adrian...

Any takers for the seminar/course? DATE: 10.00 - 5.00pm Saturday 4th Feb 2006 ... IT'S A SATURDAY, so you could make a weekend of it.

Return to http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL AND, AS WRITERS, MAY 2006 BRING YOU EACH THE SUCCESS YOU DESERVE.

For the past 7 years the NYK websites have been FREE to use for both members and non-members, and all of the NYK projects have been FREE to join. However, owing to increasing costs and lack of genuine commitment and/or suitable materials, we are no longer prepared to offer free participation.

You may still submit news/views/reviews/poems/short stories etc to the appropriate sections of the site and associate members may continue with the 'Literary Design Brief', bearing in mind that the original document remains Copyrighted to NYK Media.

Return to http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

LITERARY DESIGN BRIEF

Writers involved in the NYK writing projects are requested to submit theirt updated Literary Design Brief documents no later than 31 January 2006.

Keep writing,
Susan :)

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

What thre hell is a Designe Brief?
Jimbo.

Re: Literary Design Brief (LDB)

The literary design brief is the document sent to all participating writers, as explained in several subsequent newsletters. It is maintained as a progress record and also serves as the writer's CV when approaching publishers and/or agents. Are you sure you have been receiving the newsletters?

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

I can't even find your website with this new bloody computer...help me please.
Jim

Message from The Royal Society of Literature

===============

Dear Writers

Currently seeking (urgently desperately madly) calibre entries for the V.S. Pritchett short story competition and really trying to tap into valued sources of committed writers. We are aware that many writers do not know of this prize. We hope you can encourage entries. This is a great creative opportunity not only offering £1,000 together with prestigious publication, but the chance to write the 'long' short story - rare nowadays - of 2 -5,000 words. Please visit http://www.rslit.org/prizes/pritchett.php

Deadline: 14th February 06 but extended to end of week 3 of Feb.

Yours faithfully,


(Sally Ratcliffe) Deputy Secretary


The Royal Society of Literature
Somerset House
Strand
London
t: 0207 845 4677 (direct line)
f: 0207 845 4679
e: julia@rslit.org

GILL BASTOCK PLAY - GOLFING GENIUS

Dear friends and collegues
 
The tickets for Gill's latest play, 'Golfing Genius', are available from 1st February. Its an historical comedy based on golf but, as ever, with a twist in the tail.

Dates are : 30th March, 31th March and 1st of April, at The Stirling Smith.

This play has been given the honour as one of the 'highlights' in the '500 years of Golf in Stirling' celebrations. There will be 80 to 100 tickets available for each performance, although several tickets have been booked already.

You can buy tickets from Gill (see website at http://www.gillbastock.co.uk ) The Stirling Smith, The Stirling Golf Club or Eileen Reynolds.

Hope to see you there!
 
Returne to http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk or http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk

Hi Susan.
Can you submit any of my shorts to this thingy.
Oor wee jimmy

Illustrious Exile -- speculative fiction -- what would have happened if Burns had gone to the West Indies in 1786, as he had intended to do?

I spent many years putting together this book, trying to get the history right, immersing myself in the poetry and letters of Burns, and trying to be true to the Bard's character and temperament. I was very lucky to find a publisher in Peepal Tree Press: they publish books with a Caribbean connection, and they accepted the MS on the grounds that nearly all of the book is set in the West Indies.

I've learned that if you have got determination, you CAN do it, even if, like me, you are about to qualify for a free bus pass! It's a lot of hard work -- it's almost 400 pages long -- but if you have something to say then there are people who want to hear it. I was delighted with the review in Scotland on Sunday (12th February 2006) which went as follows:

Burns' best laid schemes in Jamaica
BOOK REVIEW
JAMES ROBERTSON

Illustrious Exile

Andrew O Lindsay

Peepal Tree Press, £9.99
WHAT if the 1786 Kilmarnock edition of Robert Burns' poems had been a failure, and he had gone ahead with his planned emigration to Jamaica? Would his verse be remembered today as anything more than a curiosity? How would the story of Scottish literature have unfolded? And how would the egalitarian bard have reacted to the horrors of slavery in the West Indies?
The life that almost happened is the subject of Andrew Lindsay's entertaining and intelligent novel, which purports to be the poet's journal from 1786 to 1796. Lindsay is originally from Kilmarnock, has a lifelong interest in Burns, and now splits his time between Fife and Guyana. In this, his first novel, he has used Burns' letter-writing style as a template to create a very credible account of his Caribbean adventures.
Burns arrives in Jamaica with his new wife Mary Campbell - 'Highland Mary' - and begins work as an overseer on Dr Douglas's estate, where he develops a profound loathing of slavery and an equally profound shame at his own involvement.
Frustrated by his powerlessness, he realises that all he can do is ameliorate the conditions of the slaves in his charge, while the real power for change lies with campaigners in London.
Mary dies. Burns is distraught, but soon turns his attentions to other women, both black and white. In 1791, Nancy McLehose - the 'Clarinda' for whom, in Scotland, the real Burns would write 'Ae Fond Kiss' - arrives to attempt a reconciliation with her husband, another overseer on the plantation. A crisis ensues, followed by a series of dramatic events, and Burns flees to Guyana to work on another plantation.
What until this point has been a meticulous, if at times slightly restrained, historical reconstruction now erupts into high adventure. Lindsay handles this with remarkable skill, and introduces some memorable characters, such as the repulsive estate manager Allardyce, the educated slave Ambrose - who hides his learning so as to survive - and the intriguing Arawak girl Yinta.
He also inserts some striking parodies of Burns' poems, adapted to take account of his new experiences. The Guyanan version of 'Halloween' is a delight, and the subtle anti-slavery sentiments of 'To A Labba' (a large Guyanan rodent) very effective, while in 'Jan van Leyden' a drunken Dutchman is pursued by jumbies and loses something much more important to him than his horse's tail. It is a mark of Lindsay's accomplishment that these poems, with their familiar resonances, add significantly to the achievement of the novel as a whole.
Burns enthusiasts will find a wealth of material to ponder in this novel, but it is far from being a book for fans only. Illustrious Exile is a bold achievement. Not only does it present a refreshingly real Robert Burns, but it also addresses the very political and social issues which give him continued relevance today.

This article: http://news.scotsman.com/features.cfm?id=219062006 (Scotland on Sunday)

I hope that some of you will be moved to read it!

Andrew

SELL YOUR SCRIPT
Sat 22nd April - Edinburgh

Award winning Writer and Director Adrian Mead presents another in his acclaimed series of classes.

“I had a wonderful day I'm inspired”

“An exceptional course, crammed full of bang up to date insider knowledge”

“For hours you kept a whole church hall full of people riveted”
 
“It's real, not hearsay, essential if you are considering a life change”

Every day overworked Film and TV execs, Agents and Commissioners receive an avalanche of scripts from new writers. Faced with the impossible task of reading them all, the first thing they reach for is the one page pitch document that should accompany the script.
Of course you do always provide a highly professional and attention grabbing, one page pitch document. Don't you?
The one page pitch doc is industry standard. Failing to provide one marks you as a poorly organised amateur and your script will hardly get a glance. A badly executed document instantly consigns your months of lovingly crafted work to the reject tray unread.
Presented by award winning writer and director Adrian Mead this class teaches you how to –
 

Grab the attention of the overworked reader and inspire them to pick up your script instead of your competitors.



Understand the function and writing of treatments.



Banish forever the terrors of verbal pitching.


If you are serious about getting your work noticed and breaking into the industry this is a class you cannot afford to miss.
As this is a highly focused and practical day numbers will be limited. Book early to avoid disappointment.

DATE: Saturday 22nd April. 10.00 am to 5.00 pm.
VENUE: St Columba's By The Castle Church Hall, Johnston Terrace, Edinburgh
COST: £65 (inc VAT and refreshments)
E-MAIL: mailto:info@meadkerr.com or call 0131 554 4539
WEB SITE: http://www.meadkerr.com

Hello to all who browse these pages!

I'd just like to take this opportunity to welcome another new writer to our literary fold - Penny Strepford. Penny should be joining us online soon and may well be roped into contributing to the next edition of 'Now You Know' magazine.

ALL WRITERS:
We are aiming to publish Edition 13 of 'Now You Know' in April 2006. Please get your submissions in as soon as possible. In addition, anyone participating in the new 'Paranoid Times' booklet should submit work immediately to avoid missing out on the opportunity of being part of the first edition.

All submissions should be mailto:editor@scottishmultimedia.co.uk

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

WEB DIRECTORY UPDATES FOR SPRING 2006

Visit our new web directory at http://www.scottishwebdirectory.co.uk and add all your favourite Scottish links for free! Don't forget to link back to the Scottish Web Directory or http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk

NEW ONLINE WRITING COURSE - GET PLOTTED

GET PLOTTED - GetPlotted Interactive writer's course and online toolkit developed by writers for writers. The latest addition to our affiliate links can be found at http://plotted.at/nykmedia?LID=Writers

NYK Writer Shona Prophett invites you all to join online and become part of the 'horsey' set. You too can own a racehorse!! Join the fun! Get the inspiration you seek! Ride the crest of the wave all the way to the finishing post then tell us all about it in the RaceScotUK messageboards. Find out how you can own a racehorse for less than £100 by going to http://racehorse.at/nykmedia?LID=WritersBoards then write your own reports, express your own opinions and tell us all your news at http://www.racescotuk.com

HALLO MCDADE HERE BYEEE I POSTED A MESSAGE UNDER THE HEADING THE WANDERER RETURNS

Hello McDade!!
Glad to see you back and hope you'll manage to stop here now and again to update us on your progress. I hear you are now availbale for DJ bookings... do we get the stand up comedy act along with that? :)

PS: I cannot find your message titled 'The Wanderer Returs'. Where is it?

Return to Web directory at http://www.scottishwebdirectory.co.uk

Return to writers' site at http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk

So i have just returned from Paris after I had to go there after I learned that there is a company that can sell audio equipment alot cheaper than here. Anyway I went on the Euro tunnel and never mind the fact that it goes at 20 miles an hour or that the tunnel is full of imigrants and German tanks you can actually smoke on it which I think is great. The wheels on the refreshment trolleys are square but who cares i got to have a smoke on a train. Anyway avoid Paris like the plague. Sure it might have once been called the romantic capital of Europe but it is now more arrogant than ever the place looks like a eastern European place, cold and uninviting. It is also very expensive I got stung to the tune of 18 euros for 2 mesely bottles of 1664 and a dozen olives.
The best thing about Paris is the women at night clubs they are very nice and very touchy friendly but as a married family man i would never partake in any activity that would incriminate me as an adulterer.

Any how avoid paris but go on the tunnel have a smoke the turn left and go to bruge where you can walk about without the fear of being ambushed and actually wear a hat made of money and drink without feeling like you have to re mortgage
Remember......McDade Said!

Ok so now I am left with a problem here. I have came to the conclusion that all men are bad parents. I come home from a day out somewhere (I try to call it work but networking aint what it used to be) and the wife will be sat all comfy on the couch watching some soap and the kid will be in bed tucked up sound and snug and the house will be immaculate. Total bliss. When the wife comes home from work it's a different picture altogether. Take the other day for example. My wife was off work and she decided she needed some essential retail therapy without the hassle of an inept, immature husband and a snotty, crying baby.
"No problem." said I thinking that I could earn myself some quality brownie points and also some emotional blackmailing arsenal.
"You're sure it wont be a problem for you?" The wife asked with an almost sympathetic tone.
"Not at all, how hard can it be? I mean you do it no problem." I opened my mouth and that shite came out.
So I had sealed my own fate but I did not yet know it. Anyway off she popped to the shops to put me in more debt and I was left with his Lordship looking at me from his walkie pen wondering what I was going to do to entertain him.
My plan was simple...in my head anyway.
Stage 1. Give the baby a bottle
Stage 2. Give the baby a MILD dose of Calpol to gently help him off to sleep.
Stage 3. Make sure his nappy is changed
Stage 4. Calpol should be taking effect now so up to the cot with him
Stage 5. Make sure baby is sleeping and head downstairs for an afternoon of un-interupted porn watching, crip eating playstation playing mess making freedom.
However what actually happened was contrary to what went on in my head:
Stage 1. Give the Baby a bottle
Stage 2. Find one of the bloody bottles
Stage 3. Moan like a trooper for half an hour while standing and cleaning the bottle and having to make the bloody things up
Stage 4. Attempt all of the above stages while having a 7 month old boy with teething pains screaming at the top of his lungs because he doesnt have a bloody bottle
Stage 5.Give the baby a MILD dose of Calpol
Stage 6. While trying to give the baby calpol he reached out and knocked the bottle from my hand thus pouring the entire bottle all over his "Whiter than white" sleep suit.
Stage 7. Give baby the dribble of Calpol that is on the spoon
Stage 8. Mop up the mass of pink sticky liquid that has spilled on to your floor
Stage 9. Make sure baby has a clean nappy
Stage 10. Attempt to change babies nappy while baby thrashes about like a nutcase because the small amount of calpol you have given him has turned the wee fucker hyper because one day when you were arguing with your wife she told you to never give him calpol again because of how hyper he gets but you forgot that whole conversation or simply were not listening.
Stage 11. Manage to gaffer tape baby to changing mat long enough to get soiled nappy from babies arse
Stage 12. Gag and bolk uncontrollably due to the smell and texture of what can only be described as smelly as fuck shite.
Stage 13. Use about 100 wet wipes to clean said arse
Stage 14. Attempt to put clean nappy on
Stage 15. Attempt to put clean nappy on
Stage 24. Get clean nappy on just in time
Stage 25. Un tape baby from mat and attempt to put to bed
Stage 26. Stand over cot for an hour while baby thinks you are there for one soul purpose and that is to entertain him. Thats right its cabaret time.
Stage 27. Attempt to leave room without making a sound
Stage 28. Go down stairs for afternoon of freedom
Stage 29. You remember something vaguely about your wife saying tidy up too but completely ignore it
Stage 30. Front door opens and wife walks in with half of The Buchanan Galleries in her hands and baby starts screaming because he needs fed and an arse change and the wife starts screaming because the living room and kitchen look like a NATO bombing text site.
And what does the wife say?
"What have you done all day?"
And no matter what we say, or how honestly we put it that today was the hardest you have ever worked in your entire life she will always think that the minute she walked out that door you did not do anything.
Men? God help us all.

Just a wee note here.

In response to Eddie Elwood comment about my McDade Laid Bare in Now you know whe he says "His best he has tried" I would like to say that Eddie I have more talent than you will ever dream of. Do not EVER mock my talents on a public message board I have never read any of your stuff as I am usually sleeping by line 2.

McDade

To McDade (or should that be McDad?)

With reference to your comment:

"Do not EVER mock my talents on a public message board I have never read any of your stuff as I am usually sleeping by line 2"

If you check out the rhyme (review) here > /m2 <, I think you'll find my alleged mockery of your work is at line 5, proving to all that you cannot possibly be asleep by line 2 and that, contrary to your claims, you have read some of my 'stuff'. Perhaps you would like to point me in the direction of your website and observe your alleged talent first hand? I may even vote for you, if it's as good as you claim.
Oh, wait! I can't find your name on the NYK voting poll. As for dreaming - I've never dreamt of talent, so that's not much you have to beat, should you feel the need.

BRING IT ON, MCDADE!

VOTE FOR EDDIE ELWOOD - http://www.eddieelwood.co.uk

I would like to point out that the reason I am not on the writers poll is due to the fact that I do not write about Middle age shite and stuff that has no bearing on the way we live our lives. I would like to put it to the whole of the NYK writers, "Where the fuck were you when the book launched in Wigtown?" Apart from Ronnie, Susan, some other woman I cant remember her name and Harvey and myself there was no one else around and as I know who you are Eddie (or should that be Ed?) I am amazed that I am not on the NYK writers poll. I contributed more to NYK than most of the Journeymen on this website and frankly I am insulted that my "talent" is going un noticed.
If one person tells you that you have a talent then take it as a compliment. If 100 people tell you then there is either a conspiracy out or you are genuinely talented. I have belief in myself and I would like to think that a 2 book deal from an independant publishing house in Edinburgh proves that. Wahey!

McDade

Congratulations if you've managed to secure a 2-book deal from an independent publisher in Edinburgh!

Nice to see you back on form but please remember that not all of the NYK writers who contributed to that particular publication live in Scotland. All contributors to edition 11 were included on the writers' poll, yourself included, but that was September 2004. Your name would have been removed for subsequent editions as you were no longer contributing.

The woman whose name you cannot remember is Gill Bastock, (co-writer of 'Agnes & Senga') who has, since, had another two of her plays produced on stage.

Regarding your talent, readers of this site have nothing to go on except what they can see on the messageboards, as your NYK pages have never been updated. I am fully aware of what talent you have and know what you are capable of achieving, but others haven't had the opportunity to witness this for themselves. For instance...

How many people reading this are aware of the fact that your first published work was in NYK back in 1999?
How many knew you did college work experience for NYK in the Newmains office?
How many are aware of your TV debut when we got you 'head to head' with Big Ped?
How many are aware of your venture into radio broadcasting?
How many are aware of your being photographed in Shotts Police Station demonstrating finger printing techniques?
How many are aware of anything else that has occured over the past 7 years?
The above would fill at least two books. If I didn't think you could do it, I'd never have signed the contract and nor would you.

Now, how about getting some of your talent online for all to see, instead of allowing someone like Ed to wind you up?

PS: Do you remember the quote used for your photo with the mounted police? It said "... too tall to be a jockey." That one really amuses me, all things considered LOL

At last a voice of reason. I fully understand the fact that it was 7 years ago since I started writing for NYK. I also appreciate that I was maybe a wee bit out of order. The 2 book deal is with a publishing company called McPherson and Co. The guy who owns it is called Grant McPherson (funnily enough) and he has been writing in Canada for the last 20 years and now has returned to Scotland to help young writers get noticed. He is putting the money up for 2 books. The first I am doing is a Childrens book called "Secret Sam and Tinky" about a wee boy who finds a den while out playing one day and goes into this fantasy land and meets all sorts of Characters thats almost finished its being proofed just now. The other is a funny murder mystery called "Do you think you are the Polis?" This one is about a village idiot who ends up solving what the "Polis" think is a murder but a simple tragedy. That is finished and will be out in April December this year. I aint paying any money for it and I will be paid a percentage of the sales that I make. Grant has said that he will commission 100,00 of each book to be printed and sell them for £6.99 each with the printers having to be paid etc. I met Grant during a trip to borders in town and I happened to comment on a book by Christopher Brookmyre and all I said was "This guy could be alot funnier if he used words that people understood and that way it would open up a new group of readers for him." Grant seemed to agree and that was it. So I will bring my talent back to the boards and none of you will be dissapointed.

By the way Allie Shanks? You are one fine looking lady GRRRRRRRRRRRRR

McDade out!

Now I have to admit I am a bit of a geek when it comes to things astronomical. I like nothing more than lying on my back in my garden and looking at the sky then I start to think in geek mode.
Never mind the fact that we are screaming around the sun at 90 miles per second or the fact that the sun is careering around the universe at a million miles per day. What is better than that is that we are 3000 light years away from the edge of our galaxy - thats 17,600,000,000,000,000 miles. British astronomers are rougly this length of time behind the rest of the world. Lets face it since Gallileo disproved the old testament astronomers have been dotting the i's and crossing the t's.

Hey McDade,
the ed said your pages are still online so I took the liberty of requesting your link up. The rest is up to you... see you on the polling boards soon!

Hi people, I have not been around the boards for a long time. I've been busy setting up Weeblackbook, Creative Writing - Creative Design www.weeblackbook.com. And my 2nd book is out soon by PA. 'All In The Reaction'... Which will be on my web site as soon as.
Any how... I'm thinkin' we have a lil' tiger in the room...Growling @ Allie!! ('GRRRRRRRRRRRR')... Mind yer white stick darlin' ;)

Talk to you all after...Oh & thank you my 1 & only fan ;)

Anyway,
I am today left with a feeling of confusion. Uefa and the Scottish Executive seem to have it in for Glasgow Rangers and their supporters. This is due to a board of arseholes deeming the songs sang at Ibrox are sectarian and bigoted. They might well be but why bother about it now? It all stemmed from the game that Rangers played this season in the Champions league against Villareal, a Spanish Primera Liga side. The Villareal complained to UEFA and those fat fucks at UEFA have decided now that enough is enough. Rangers were given an NOT GUILTY verdict of sectarianism a few weeks ago for the incidents during that game but then a UEFA fat cat whose surname is POPE ironically decided to appeal against that verdict. Subsequently POPE was given 14 days to come up with grounds for an appeal. I always thought you came up with the grounds for an appeal before you launched the bloody thing. Anyway, if Rangers are found guilty of this they will have one of their Stands closed during their next European tie and a massive fine.
Here is my point on this whole thing. Jack McConnell and his pals in that big Wacky Warehouse they all work in have decided to clamp down on bigotry and sectarianism. Tell me how they intend to do that? How do you stop 60,000 Old Firm fans singing songs about hatred towards each other? Do you get the PA guy to loudly say "SHHHHHHH"? The answer is you can't stop what has been going on for years its almost tradition. However should they start imposing fines and jail terms on people who do not obey these new laws then do you honestly expect me to believe that in a few months the same bunch of numb nuts in that parliament wont be complaining about overcrowding in prisons? Do me a favour. If we are to live by these laws that are soon to be passed then that means no more "Flower of Scotland" during the foorball or Rugby matches. No more St. Andrews day as it is anti English. Then I propose we take back all our inventions and the English leave us ours. No more Bank of Scotland, no more Bank of England. Infact scrap the names of the countries in the British Isles and rename them all...Labour Land. Yet , they will still find some way of trying to piss us off.
Allie, the Tiger is ready for you (no white stick needed)
GRRRRRRRR
Remember McDade said (under review)

Just my wee thought fot today....
...they say nobody is perfect. I am nobody, therefore, I am perfect.

McDade

There was a young man from Gosham,
Who took out his bollocks to wash 'em,
His wife said Jack
If oyu dont put them back
I'll stand on the bastards and squash 'em.

There was a young man from Dumbarton,
Who was fond of his collection of tartan,
He said, when I wear this one,
It, gives me lots of fun,
And bot does my arse keep on fartin.

There was a young man from Dundee,
Who was stung in the face by a wasp.

There once was a man called Gerry,
He tried to knock down the walls of Derry,
He killed many men,
Then Fled to his den,
And hid for 20 years in Kerry.

There once was a dog called Dan,
Who humped a frying pan,
The dog was partial,
To the odd lump of charcoal,
That dog is only now half the man.

Is this the way to get ma giro (to the tune of Is this the way to Amarillo)

When the day is dawning,
On a Coatbridge Monday morning,
How ah'm gonnae be there,
an ma giro thats waitin fur me there,

When I get up oot ma bed (da da da da da)
I'll hae a chug (da da da da da)
I put ma clathes oan
and meet ma best pal Shug.

Is this the way to get ma giro,
Every monday sign with a biro,
Me and ma fav wee giro,
and sweet pennies that wait fur me.
(repaeat)

There's a siren blaring,
but for wance ah'm urny carin
coz ah'm oot ma eyeball
wi a tenner bag and and 6 cans of warm skol

Then a hit the main street (da da da da da)
for the efternoon (da da da da)
but a meat ma dealer
thats me £80 doon.

Jesus fuck av lost ma giro,
and ma dealer even took ma biro,
Now am beggin fur another giro
but they tell me get tae fuck

Please gee me a fucking giro,
a crisis loan urgent wee giro
20 quid wid dae fur a giro
so a can get oot ma nut

blah blah blah

Enjoy

Clatty Rose (to the tune of Cracklin Rose)

Oh CLatty Rose make me smile,
girl if I last fur an hoor thats awright,
coz ah'm normally shite,
a canny dae it right,
Ah couldnae tell a pud fae a pun o mince

Oh a love tae get ma hole,
you got the way to make me happy,
yer teeth ur grren an yer hair is pink
Clatty Rose yer a bike ay a wuman,
Yer saggy flaps are permanently hummin
so hang on a min a think ah'm goannae spew

So play wi it now play wi it now
Oh Clatty Rose

Dont worry Kill yersel (to the tune of dont worry be happy)

Here's a little song I wrote,
ye can use as yer suicide note,
Dont worry, Kill yersel,

Every life we have some trouble,
Dont worry ye make it double
dont worry, kill yer sel

I hope I have amused you and that I have not offended many people I am so bored that I had to get somethings out ma head to amuse myself and I hope that I have amused you too.

Good Evening to you all. Especially you Allie (GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR)

p.s...nothing

I was amused!
An' a happen tae ken oor Pat wiz fair tain wae yer wee Giro song sing alang, seein as she's bin a bit skint lately. In fact... it may well become Pat an' Eddie's adopted anthem fur wur no makin oni money oot o' the writin!
Cheers McDade, you've managed to jam that damned Amarillo tune in my head now and all I can see is Peter Kay dancin doon the social!!!!!!!!!!!!!
VOTE FOR EDDIE http://www.eddieelwood.co.uk

Any Idea when the new edition of NYK will be out susan and do I have time to contribute towards it?

Also to let you know My first book is now being printed and will be available to buy from June 26th and I will be launching it in Coatbridge of all places.

Hi McDade,

Nothing much doing so far with regards to the next edition as I can't muster up enough decent material to warrant the expense of publishing. However, I am always on the lookout for good, original material and as soon as this has been gathered, we will go ahead as planned and get next edition done. Anything you care to submit will be considered as the next deadling probably won't be until late June. It would be nice to think we could produce something worthwhile in time for the September festival.
Good luck with the books - can't wait to read them and I want my copies signed! :)

OOPS! Deadline, not deadling LOL

http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk ... where nobody is perfect but we all try our best :-P

Hello to all,
With summer almost upon us, thousands more will be flocking to buy paperbacks, booklets and magazines for holiday reading. If anyone has any comments to make regarding the types of reading material they prefer to purchase, leave them here.
Personally, I tend to favour reasonably short stories that can be read within the time of a reasonably short journey with, perhaps, a light-hearted paperback for a longer journey. I tend not to do long-haul but, if I did embark on such trips, I would want to know that my choice of reading material would be of suitable length to last the entire journey. So, bearing all of the aforementioned in mind, I STILL think the NYK Companion should be suited to a variety of holiday-style trips and NYK magazine should be a regular commuter's best friend.
What has anyone to say about that?

http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk

HELP SUPPORT THE NYK WRITERS

You can actively support the upkeep of our websites by choosing to shop through the links at the following websites. They are all part of the growing network of participating sites that actively promote and/or support the NYK writing projects... help yourselves to a few bargains and support a good cause at the same time:

http://www.britishwebshop.co.uk

http://www.racingbookshop.com

http://www.scottishwebshop.co.uk

http://www.cyberdosh.com

http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/Books/index.htm

"SO YOU WANT TO WRITE TV DRAMA?"

Do YOU daydream about becoming a professional TV drama writer?
Do WE believe you could do it? Absolutely!
Do we have proof? Read what previous attendees of this acclaimed class have said -

I attended Adrian's first class. I found it practical yet inspiring."
David Hutchison

Energising - no excuse now for not following the up-to-minute advice
Given by Adrian. Excellent value - thanks."
Sheila Malham

When he decided to try his hand at writing Adrian Mead was thirty three years old, a bouncer and a hairdresser with no formal training and no connections to the industry. Within two years he was being paid to write for ITV, BBC and Channel 4 and is now an award winning writer and director. So, how did he do it?

Adrian states, "The most exciting and inspirational moment for me was when I realised that writing isn't MAGIC. It isn't some unfathomable, mystical process only gifted to a rare few. Screenwriting is a craft. You can learn how to do it, you can hone and improve your skills."

A FREE 15 PAGE BOOKLET of the kind of material Adrian covers is also available from info@meadkerr.com

In the space of just one fun, info packed and highly practical day we demystify how the world of TV Drama writing works and how to get your break.

Don't just day dream, find out if you could have a career as a TV drama writer. Sign up for the next course and learn what it takes.

This class always fills up fast! If you haven't booked your place already
book now.

SAT 3rd JUNE
10.30 -4.00
St Magnus Centre Kirkwall ORKNEY
Cost £40.00

SAT 1st July
10.00 -4.00
Kenneth St Hall, Kenneth St, Inverness.
Cost £40.00
Contact info@meadkerr.com or call on 0131 554 4539 for a booking form.
www.meadkerr.com

'NOW YOU KNOW' EDITION 13

Summer is almost upon us and we are now seeking suitable material for publishing in the next issue of 'Now You Know', which will be edition 13. Short stories, informative articles (relevant to Scotland), riddles, rhymes, poems... All submissions should be mailto:nykmedia@aol.com and marked for the attention of Pamela. Please send within your email as we will not download unsolicited attachments.

Looking forward to reading your submissions,
Pamela.

SCOTTISH PUBLISHING

We are almost ready to launch the brand new NYK Scottish Publishing project. Work is well underway in the preparation of the first of a collection of electronic books that will be available to buy online. As previously agreed, the first of these will be by the Aberdeenshire-born 'storylad', Jim Laing, who has long since become a resident of sunny California. We are now seeking a few readers who would be interested in previewing this ebook and submitting their comments to the editorial department. If this sounds like something that may be of interest to you, please email the editor - mailto:nykmedia@aol.com - who can send you an electronic preview copy of 'Argolyn's Bell'.

Keep up to date with forthcoming events at http://www.nowyouknow.co.uk and don't forget to vote for your favourite writers and stories.

WRITING FOR TV

Are you looking to break into TV?

Writing for TV (17 – 20 Oct 2006): This 4 day intensive course led by award-winning writer Adrian Mead, concentrates specifically on getting your work from page to screen. British TV produces some of the world’s best drama and broadcasters are searching for more unique voices to tell their stories.

Could that be you?

Presented by Adrian with support of producer, script editor and former director of the Edinburgh International Film Festival, Penny Thomson, this programme is suited to both new writers and those with experience in other literary disciplines.

By the end of the course you will leave with a clear strategy for how to get your first break into TV Drama and maintain a career as a professional drama writer.

Course location: Archidona, (Malaga), Spain
Course dates: 17-20 October 2006
Course cost: £675 (including tuition and full board)

For more information visit www.universal-arts.com or email writingfortv@universal-arts.com for FREE 15-PAGE BOOKLET of the kind of tips that Adrian passes on.

Howdy from the Wanderer.

Just been really busy writing and stuff. Plus been doing alot of gigs etc. Did another stand up gig 2 weeks ago (first stand up for a while)
13 days to go to the book launch I will send you a copy susan as the cover is dead fancy lol

So there.

p.s hope you have been all enjoying the weather?

good!

p.p.s With regards to the cover being dead fancy...the content is good too.

Just thought i would say that.


emmmmmmmmmmmm...?

(cough!)

bye

Shawn.......
Piss Off!

Well said, McDade!

For all others, the McD quote relates to 'spam' message left on the boards that had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with writing, publishing or Scottish multimedia.

When's the book out, John?

NEWS UPDATE

New arrival at NYK Media

I'm sure that most of you already know of the forthcoming changes at NYK Media, mainly by way of the return of Pamela, previous contributor to the 'Pat 'n' Eddie' column of 'Now You Know'. Her arrival has been slightly delayed owing to the logistics of her relocation, but suitable accommodation has now been secured and she will be with us from 3rd July 2006.

Pamela played a key role throughout our newspaper publishing project in 1999, based in Newmains, and she will soon be rejoining us here in Wigtown in the capacity of contracts co-ordinator. As well as co-ordinating all our future publishing contracts, Pamela will also be dealing with new submissions, which means the following... Submissions will have to get past Pamela to reach the editor's desk.

I'm sure you will all make Pamela most welcome and I expect her mail box to be filled to capacity shortly. To submit copy, please ensure all text is contained within the email as we will not download unsolicited attachments. You can mailto:pamela@nykmedia.com

Book is out TODAY!!!!! Secret Sam and Tinky is being Launched today I have a few copies here on me and I will send you a a couple susan. I am going to a few schools this afternoon to launch it so the kids can get a look. After that, borders have agreed to stock a "limited" amount of copies and WH Smith have also agreed. So we shall see what happens there.

Excellent news! Get all the book details on here - full title, author details, ISBN etc and let me know if it's available via Amazon. I want my copy signed, remember!! Congratulations & good luck with the promos, marketing and sales. Have you contacted the booktown people yet?

Hi Susan, McDade here, I will get copies of the book down to you. I have not contacted the booktown folk yet but hopefully you could sort that for me. I will get the details about amazon to you too.

Yesterday I sold 129 copies of the book. Which I am told is not too bad.

Hello to everyone.

I am lisa mcdade and i am john's wife. It is just to let you know that John was taken to hospital on friday after he collapsed at about 5pm. He is fine but has been diagnosed as having diabetes.

He should be home later today (Monday) or maybe tomorrow.

Will keep you posted.

Lisa

Hi Lisa,
 
Sorry to hear about John. Please pass on our best wishes and tell him we all wish him a speedy recovery.
 
Keep in touch,
 
Susan at NYK Media

Thankyou to Susan for her kind wishes. John is back home today at some point just waiting on the phone call. No doubt he will be on here at some point to rant and rave the way he normally does.


Thankyou,

Lisa

GUESS WHO'S BACK!!!!????

Thats right, ME! I am now a junkie...no a diabetic. Type 1 diabetes.

Hows everyone? Do i need to liven these bloody boards up again? Where is everyone?

Now, if you'll excuse me I am off to stick something sharp in my leg.

Hello all and welcome back John.
Apologies for the deletions, but certain unscrupulous idiots with brains the size of peas like to think they can spam the boards with pathetic attemps at free advertising. To all those concerned... go and find real jobs!

Where have all the writers gone?

NYK Media was established to present previously unpublished writers with the opportunity to have their work both read and published. But, what has happened? Apparently, the plot has been well and truly lost over the past few years and we are at an absolute loss as to why we have nothing worthwhile to print!

What has happened to the English language?
What has happened to grammar?
What has happened to spelling?
What has happened to punctuation?
What has happened to the art of writing a good story?

NYK Media is not a charitable organisation for would-be writers seeking free editing and proofreading services. We are seeking genuine writing enthusiasts who can contribute interesting, original and saleable work... have you got what it takes? If so, please send short submissions within the body of an email to mailto:pamela@nykmedia.com

ALL submissions get read.

Sorry that we cannot comment on every submission received.

http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk

Helo folks it's been a while since I dropped in, been busy working on a new project. Hope alls well with every one. John, I suggest you give me a phone, you've got work to do....

Ronnie

Fish for dinner tonight. MMMMMMMMM

Now this might interest a few of you. I am currently in the process of writing my story. I know it is generally famous people who write their autobiographies but I thought I would give it a bash. Been writing it for about a week now and it has been extremely cathartic. It is quite funny too(so far). Once it is done i will email it to anyone willing to read it and we shall see how it goes down.

Ronnie I would be interested in knowing what the project is and what you would like me to do.

I'd certainly like to read it!

£18,000 WRITER'S BURSARY AVAILABLE!

MCNA is awarding an £18,000 Writer's Bursary to an aspiring writer, novice or experienced, who would like to dedicate up to 12 months writing a fiction novel. The bursary is designed for a writer to work on a novel, however we are accepting applications from writers who would prefer to work on a collection of short stories/novellas. Candidates are invited to write about any subject, so long as it is substantially one of fiction and imagination, and, the writer retains full copyright over their finished work. Comprehensive information on the bursary, judging panel and application process is available on our website: http://www.medicalcasenotes.co.uk/bursary/
The closing date for entries is November 30, 2006.

http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk

Just thought I would come on here for a little rant at the world.

Firstly, what has happened to the world? I remember when I was about 8 or 9 and I went swimming with my mates and we were allowed to go on our own. We walked the streets of my town and walked through parks as a short cut to get to the pool. When we got there we paid 50p to get in and we walked down the flight of stairs to the changing rooms. Once we got to the changing rooms, we heard the noise from the pool, all the kids shouting and screaming. The changing rooms were open and had no doors but we got into our trunks and put our stuff in our locker and ran to the pool and dive bombed in. Splashing was par for the course. Either side of the pool there would be mums, dads, grans and grandads watching and waving and even taking pictures. There were life guards who would only "check you" if you were getting out of hand or swore at someone.
Once your eyes were nipping with the chlorene, we would get dried and go up to the vending machines in the main foyer and get a chicken soup in a plastic cup that burned the mouth of us. We then walked down the main street as it got dark and watched all the adults do their shopping and watch people go into pubs for nights out and think that we will be doing that one day. We would then take the same short cuts home through parks and streets and make it home safely where our mothers would be waiting with the washing machine door open for our towels and trunks. We would then be ordered to get a bath and get into our jammies. Once we got to the living room there would be toast and tea waiting on us. Then we were allowed to watch the football and it was off to bed.
Those were the days but what has happened to the world? When did it become such a dangerous place to be? Nowadays if a group of boys want to go swimming it has to be organised like an excursion. First of all, what to wear. All boys now wear tracksuits that cost £60 plus trainers that cost alot more. Then there is the hair cut. It has to be modelled on a kids t.v presenter. Then coated in hurricane proof gel. Next. Who is taking you. Due to the influx of paedophiles in the last 10 years from Paedolia kids now are not allowed to go anywhere without being accompanied by a government vetted, police checked, de wormed, de loused and C of S adult. Then. There is the seatbelt issue. I dont ever remember wearing a seatbelt in a car when i was a child and riding in the passenger seat was a treat. Now? Pile in, buckle up or we are going nowhere and if you do manage to get somewhere and the police see that you are not wearing a belt, then it is an on the spot fine. Next. When you get there, it no longer costs 50p to go swimming. No! It now costs the equivelant to a loaf, pint of milk, half dozen eggs, 4 square slice and the newspapers. You now need to pay for a locker? Never. Now the changing rooms. They are state of the art security monitored with bars running over the top and the walls go right to the floor. Grabbing your pals foot under the wall was a laugh in my day. Also now there are signs everywhere saying that any device that can capture and image or video is banned. Now there is something fundamentally wrong with that. Everything now captures and image or a video. Phones, mp3 players, digi cams, pen cams, I even saw a boy the other day with a action figure that took your picture!!!
So no photos to remember your day. Also the life guards now? Who in their right mind would entrust their childrens safety and ultimately, their life with these adolescent, hormone enraged, self obsessed, narsacistic, sunbed dwelling fuck wits? They are more interested in looking good in shorts and trying to see their reflection in a tile.
Then after 20 mins sitting about trying to look cool and seeing who has a "six pack" its time to go up to the fast food counter in the complex and spend £6 on a cheeseburger that is reminiscent of a diseased organ (excuse the freudian slip). Then once the afore mentioned vetted adult comes back to pick them up it is home to throw the chlorine smelling backpack on the kitchen floor and demand that "maw" washes it. Then its off out to have under age sex, drink, take drugs, fight in the streets and cause mayhem.

When and why did this world become so...shite?

Another rant! This time at...Everything else!

It's a free country! Remember that saying? Well in a funny kind of way it still is. If you do what you are told!
Below is a list of things that you must do in order for it still to be a free country:

Don't smoke
Drink Alchohol in moderation
Don't drink Alchohol
Give Blood
Don't Go on to a plane with a water bottle
Carry an ID Card
Dont get into debt
Get a credit card
Get on the property Ladder
Work all the hours god sends to pay the sky high mortgage
Dont work too many hours
Abide by health and safety at all times
Eat organic foods
Have a mixed diet
Don't eat saturated fat
Dont eat monosaturated fat
Eat fat its good for you
Pay tax
Dont hit your kids
Dont watch too much t.v
Take an interest in politics - watch BBC Parliament
Excercise daily
Relax Daily
Dont drop litter
Pay higher council tax for substandard local authority binmen
Dont take the law into your own hands
Phone the police and wait on them sending an officer round 3 weeks later

Just a thought.

Also this ID card thing is ludicrous. Did you now know that there are 5000 plumbers in Britain...that are Polish? Did you also know that Poland has the 3rd worst sewage and drainage system in Europe?
When my son is my age he will probably meet a girl called Sheena Polokwarskovinki who has a mother who smokes 60 a day and is never out the County Bingo and a father who cant speak a word of the queens and wouldn't know copper pipe from dog shite. A nice girl?

I am against any foreigner coming to our country and living and working here. i am not racist, far from it but put the shoe on the other sock and do you honestly believe that we would be welcomed into the bosom of any other country the way people are welcomed here? No is the answer. My wife currently pays £12 per week for her bus to work. A woman from Uganda she works with gets on the same bus as her at the same stop and pays £7 for the same weekly ticket. Why? She has a card stating that because she is an immigrant she must pay less. Also, my brother has just opened a catering equipment shop in my home town but not after some lengthy legal battles against numerous Asians who tried to sabotage his efforts in starting the business by claiming that the council, Letting agency and my brothers solicitor were infact RACIST. The smashed the front of the shop windows the day before my brother opened and then denied it was them. When the police arrested them and said we saw 4 asian men doing this and you were identified and as you are asian too it is no coincidence that the windows were smashed (sorry if this is hard to follow). They then tried the racism card with the police. They then stated that they should have been allowed to have the shop instead of my brother as they need the money more than him.

Therefore I believe we should only allow foreigners into our country on holiday and likewise for us.

On that note, I bid you a good evening/morning

Hi,
 
We just wanted to let you know about our very unique contest and see if you would like to let your readers know about it. It can be found at http://gypsylar.com/Screenwriting_Competition.html
 
Thanks,
L.W. Smith
Producer/Director
Gypsy Lar Productions

Further to McDade's rant...

If I had known then what I know now, I'd have invested in oil and tobacco then retired at 40 as a millionaire!

The Eighties

During the early eighties I learned to drive. I had 10 lessons, the tenth being the one immediately prior to my driving test. I think the lessons cost just under £3 each because I'm sure the entire 'experience' of getting my driving license cost no more than £40 including the test. Petrol was about 75p per gallon (4.5litres) and 20 cigarettes cost roughly the same. Now, 2006, a gallon of petrol costs £4.50 and 20 cigarettes... is about the same!

In the eighties, we bought our first house, parting with a whopping great two grand to cover the deposit, surveyors and solicitors fees. It was a very difficult decision to make! Did we go for
A) the detached country fixie-up with one room and no bath or hot water at £13,000,
B) the brand new 'spam valley' semi with all mod cons for £16,000, or
C) the one room terraced fixie-up with both a bath and hot running water at £12,000?
We settled for the latter... then the rates jumped from £189 a year to about £600+ when the Government introduced the Poll Tax. That wasn't good for self-employed and earning about £50 per week and having 3 dogs, a cat, 12 chickens, a few ponies and a house renovation underway.

But things soon changed when the bread strikes began... I became a born again entrepreneur. Or, to put it another way, was so skint that I traded home made bread and fresh eggs for anything but bread or eggs. Looking back, I really think that the true spirit of entrepreneurialism was born in the eighties! I could get 20 Regal Kingsize for a dozen eggs! As I recall at that time, a loaf of bread cost about 69p... that was almost as much as a gallon of petrol or 20 cigarettes!!! (The cheap loaf never arrived until the great war of the supermarkets during the late nineties.)

This rant could go on for pages and pages but I'm going to stop now and leave you with the following quotes... wondering about them, as I do.

"Use your loaf"
"Man cannot live on bread alone"
"It's all about the dough"

NEVER BE FOOLED BY THE PRICE OF A LOAF!

Dear Fellow Writers I would like to bring to your attention something that as occured to me in the past week regarding the Robert McLellan Award for Poetry.
I submitted three poems for the award ( closing date for entrys 9th Aug),on the 2and of Sept I received a call informing me that one of my Poems had been judged the Winning Entry,I think you can imagine my delight and excitement at winning such a Award plus the cash prize of one thousand pound,I was invited to go to the Isle of Arran for the Award Ceremony on the 9th of Sept,I duly purchased Rail Tickets and booked a Hotel on Arran for the 8th/9th of Sept,on the 5th of Sept I received a call asking me to confirm that I would be attending the Award Ceremony.
The Winning Poem should have appeared on the McLellan Website on the 6th Sept,nothing appeared,nor on the morning of the 7th Sept,at 1010hrs on the 7th I received a call informing me that there had been a "mistake" and that I had not won the Award!!!!,I am sure you can imagine the effect of such news had on me.
That the McLellan organzers must have had my entry before the 9th of Aug and only discoverd a "mistake" 48hrs before the Award Ceremony after informing that I had won the Award 96 hours previously,I am sorry but I find this very hard to accept.
I have written this post so that You,My fellow writers are aware of the appalling and unaceptable behaviour of the people involved in the McLellan Award

bernie_shelton@hotmail.com

I would like to thank you for your time
Bernie

Would anyone interested in receiving competition news and updates, including the 'NYK' writing competitions please register (or re-register) for free membership at http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/newsletter.htm
All previous membership details prior to 10th September 2006 nhave been deleted.
Thank you

I like jabbing Hippos with Javelins

tonights comment is bizzare.

onions make tiny aeroplanes from their skin when nobody is looking

god bless steve irwin.

Crikey!!!!

You were a legend.

Edited by author 08-11-2006 22:49
SAVING YOU CYBERDOSH EVERY DAY

CYBERDOSH SAVERS

A new topic for you. Cyberdosh Savers is now posting daily news about sales, bargains, discounts, cashback incentives, money spinning ideas and money off vouchers. Operated by NYK Media, in conjunction with the other Scottishmultimedia websites, Cyberdosh is the name given to the millions of pounds worth of cash, or dosh, that transfers daily through the virtual reality that we know as the Internet. It's all about the money, and we aim to tell the world how it's done in Scotland. We Scots aren't mean, we are frugal!

For 2007, plans are already afoot for edition 13 of 'Now You Know' magazine. This next issue will deal with the issues of finance and today's financial climate. If you have a story to tell, a poem to write or some super saver ideas that you would like to share with the readers, email them to the editor via the website at http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk

If you are a company or prospective advertiser and would like to incorporate any discount vouchers or exclusive offers within NYK magazine, please get in touch.

10% OFF CARPETS, WISHAW
As a reader of 'Now You Know' in the Lanarkshire or surrounding area, you can still take advantage of the great 10% OFF at Cambusnethan Carpets, Wishaw. The voucher is included in edition 11. To get a back copy of this booklet, simply send payment of £2.99 to:

NYK Media,
PO Box 7827
Wigtown
Newton Stewart
Dumfries & Galloway
DG8 9ZY

Visit the British Web Shop

Now You Know About CYB€RDO$H

Subscribe to our FREE NEWSLETTER and you will receive an exclusive 10% discount in the Cyberdosh auctions (excluding postage & packaging). Details further down newsletter...

Welcome to the new look newsletter from NYK Media. 'NYK' stands for Now You Know, which is the name of the magazine we publish. As well as the magazine, we also operate our own website project, offering members the chance to promote themselves, their projects and their businesses online via www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk and in the magazine. All of our associated websites are linked to this one name, regardless of the content.

WHAT IS CYBERDOSH?
Cyber - relating to the Internet
Dosh - money, cash, finances

With the seasonal shopping blitz now underway, we have been trawling the Internet finding the best bargains around and, more importantly, sampling the various sites for ourselves. Cyber shopping IS the way of the future and digital transactions are becoming the 'norm', so if you haven't yet discovered the benefits (and the massive savings you can make) then this is the place to start. We are here to help you save your hard-earned cash online - and that's what we call CYBERDOSH. ( More on this subject at http://www.cyberdosh.com )

BRITISH WEB SHOP
As an easy starting point, we are developing an online shopping centre at http://www.britishwebshop.co.uk that will promote many of the well-known high street brands along with some less well known retailers that have money-spinning, cost-cutting bargains to offer. We have introduced the 'Top 10 Cyberdosh Savers' section along with a new 'Shop & Save' page that features current special offers, discounts and sales items. With the increase in online shopping, many retailers are now offering cash back incentives, free gifts and loyalty points. Each of these tempting concepts now has its own section in the www.britishwebshop.co.uk Our 'Top 10 Cyberdosh Savers' are all reviewed by NYK Media and come to you with our personal recommendations.

CYBERDOSH FREEBIES - GET FREE STUFF
How much cheaper can it be than FREE? Within the 'CYBERDOSH FREEBIES' section, we are currently offering the following items absolutely FREE OF CHARGE- you simply pay postage & packaging of £2.99 each time you claim a FREE GIFT.

Systran Professional language translation software - rrp £129.99, get yours FREE
Encyclopaedia Britannica 2006 on CD - rrp £19.99, get yours FREE
Deluxe 5 piece hair clipper/grooming kit - rrp £9.99, get yours FREE
New edition Monopoly for PC - rrp £19.99, get yours FREE
AND Route Planner 2006 UK & Ireland (PC) - rrp £39.99, get yours FREE
Selection of DVDs such as The Full Monty, Alladin, - get one FREE
3D Garden Designer software - rrp £14.99, get yours FREE
Orange pre-pay Sim card with FREE credit and FREE cinema tickets - get yours FREE

The above are just a few examples of the 76 FREE gifts available online now. You can claim yours by visiting http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/FREE You do not have to make any other purchases to claim your freebie, so long as you don't mind paying the small delivery charge. NB: you can only claim one free gift at a time.

CYBERDOSH AUCTIONS
We now have our own Cyberdosh auction online. It can be accessed at http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/auction There are hundreds of items awaiting listing on the site but we are doing our best to list them as quickly as possible. It's free to register as a bidder and, as a subscriber to this FREE NEWSLETTER, you are entitled to an extra 10% discount off final selling prices of all items listed in the Cyberdosh auction. Simply remember to add your code in the comments box when paying for items.

FREE MESSAGEBOARDS
Once again, we have introduced more free to use messageboards for users to leave their own hints and tips relating to cyberdosh. These can be accessed via the main pages of the Cyberdosh website, British Web Shop website or http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/Messageboards

Cyberdosh is the subject being covered in the next edition of 'Now You Know', so get writing - submit all your stories, hints, tips and money-saving ideas in time for edition 13, which is planned for publication early next year.

FUTURE NEWSLETTERS
If you would like to submit some news, hints, tips or advice for inclusion in future newsletters, please send text within an email to nykmedia@aol.com

That's all for now, don't forget to claim your free Cyberdosh discount and make the most of the season's shopping. To keep up to date with Cyberdosh news, visit the messageboards on site at www.cyberdosh.com or www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/Messageboards where we will be featuring many of the top bargains available.

That's about it for now, but watch out for the next edition of 'Now You Know' and subscribe to these boards to receive free email reminders when they get updated.

Bye for now!

The ed.

PS: Visit http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/Greasypalm
I signed up to this and have already saved a small fortune. (I can't disclose the exact items or amounts, because most of the friends and relatives that are on my 'pressie list' read these newsletters). The cashback incentives, along with available discounts, can add up to amazing savings! I recommended it to another friend and she's found house insurance £55 cheaper than her previous quote, PLUS the offer of over £30 cashback! I've now recommended it to someone for car insurance! If you decide to join, everytime you recommend a friend you could earn another £7.00 for yourself! As The Big Bad Bunny always says, "It's all those cyber pennies that make the cyber pounds." That's Cyberdosh!

CYBERDOSH TIP 1 - Credit cards are always interest free when you pay off the balance each month plus some give you cashback on balance payments. It maybe less than 1% but that cashback is over and above the online cashback you can earn, so that amounts to even more Cyberdosh savings in the long run. I wouldn't entertain credit cards if there were no benefits, the card companies probably hate customers like us! :-)

CYBERDOSH TIP 2 - Always pay off credit balances BEFORE interest is chargeable and never draw cash on a credit card. If you are paying ridiculous interest rates at present, switch the debt to a card that offers 12 months interest free and charges 2% or less for the transaction and get the debt cleared.

CYBERDOSH TIP 3 - Credit cards offer better protection to the consumer than ordinary bank debit cards but don't go applying for too many at the one time as this can damage your credit score. The same happens when applying for the best mortgage or loan deals.

Whatever happened to Now You Know issue 13?

Now You Know issue 13 is still in the pipeline, but won't be published until sufficient material of a suitable quality has been collected and collated.
Writers are invited to submit their work for this issue until 31st January 2007. We are inviting the usual collection of editorial, poems, short stories, features, fun stuff and news items pertaining to the following subjects:
Frugal Living
Alternative health
Conspiracy
Readers' letters
Scottish travel
Science news
The Internet
 
Please note that the publishing date has been extended owing to lack of suitable material and NOT because NYK is no more. We hope to have edition 13 in print by March 2007.
 
Now You Know :)
 
Susan King

Well howdy doody folks.

I am in a surreal mood just now but so far things have been annoying me somewhat so I will vent my anger on this here board.

Firstly. Women drivers!!! Why? Why allow a being with no spacial awareness or consideration for anyone but themselves to control which in short is a weapon? The reason women have cheaper car insurance beggars belief. Maybe they have cheaper insurance because they get up in arms avout "sexist" pigs so therefore pull the discrimination card and get what they want. Women driving 4x4 vehicles is worse. They cant drive a fiesta properly so why allow them into a gas guzzler? These things are stronger than your 1400 spin washing machine and your 2000w dyson hoovers so DO NOT TOUCH THE BLOODY THINGS.

Also, the government are set to lose £16 billion in revenue and tax now that drink and ciggies are available online duty free. Good news? In the short term yes. Long term? Not so sure. I mean Tory Blair and Gordon "I will be better than tony" Brown are set to introduce a pay as you drive tax for motorists. Funny that they announce it shortly before the ciggies thing eh? Anyhow with that £16 billion being taken from the governments piggy bank they will no doubt take it from another one. We get screwed left, right and centre by these shower of fuckers. Do you think they will pay for their miles on the road? Will they fuck. Christ, they cant even pay a fucking phone bill for 5 years.

It's that time of year again where suicides rise by 15%. Christmas. Or as I like to call it now CristMESS. Is it me or does it seem to be earlier and earlier every year? Matalan, the high street retailer, had their decorations and stock on display in september, before halloween and Guy Fawkes night. When I asked a kind assistant why? She said "Head office think its the right time." To which I replied "Oh right, so if you could point me in the direction of your Easter Eggs I will be on my way." She looked at me as if I had found her rampant rabbit in her knicker drawer.

I hate weans too. I am a father and I love my boy more than life its self. I hate everyone elses weans. Fucking mutants.

I hate the old too. When I am old I want put in a home so I can sit and piss and shit myself all day and have someone clean me up and I can also grope the nurses. I want to be kept out the way. Not like the old cow who asked nae demanded that she sit where I was on a bus the other day. My son was in his push chair and I was on my way to the garage to pick my car up and this old coffin dodger said "move son!" I said "Eh no i dont think so." She didnt like it and said to the driver. He never did anything coz i went to school woth him and he is a wee poof anyway. She said she has a back problem and needs the legroom so i told her to sit in the aisle. All the leg room she wants. SHe then retorted something like how she fought for this country so I said "Aye and look at the fuckin state of it."

Anyway folks its been a wee while. I've had ma rant i feel better but not because i want to.

oh aye and if anyone wants me to write for them get in touch as the book things i did was a con some old bastard conned me out of £1100 and i am still un published. i can be contacted on 01236 609968 or via carrier pigeon.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(breath)eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee(cough, breath)
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeeeeeee.com/byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

YOU GOT CONNED?????????????

Email me the details of this alleged con artist please, I'd be interested in seeing just what and how they have managed to con YOU out of money. And, I still haven't received the copy of the manuscript you promised me, so email me that too. 2007 is a brand new year and I'm sure that this set-back won't stop you writing.

Susan

as I dont know your email address susan i will briefly surmise here. I was to pay for publishing costs. So this dude told me. Anyway, he was good you know? talked the talk and even had an office in edinburgh. Said I would have to pay for publishing etc and as he had contacts I would be successful and he would give me an advance on the first book. So like a cock I believed it all and handed £1300 to him. He handed me £200 back as a goodwill gesture so was duped again. Told me I was going to do a book tour and all that shite then BANG nothing his phone was dead no one at the office block knew anything about him or where he had gone to. The police are on the case but you know what they are like. So thats a brief story of what happened. Email me susan and I will email you back with the manuscript and a more detailed account of what happened. john_d_mcdade@hotmail.co.uk

Join us online at http://www.cyberdosh.com and find out if, and how, Shona Prophett can live for a full year on £4000!

Edited by author 30-01-2007 22:50
Anybody out there?

Most of our Cyberdosh related articles are going out on the new messageboards at http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/messageboards so if you want to find out more, please take a look.

NYK Media has relaunched the Scottish Web Directory at http://www.scottishwebdirectory.co.uk

We have launched 2 new sections of Cyberdosh at http://www.cyberdosh.info for all the information relating to the money aspects and http://www.cyberdosh.co.uk for the links to our bidding budding entrepreneurs on eBid

The main http://www.cyberdosh.com website is being prepared for the relaunch of the cash prize online treasure hunt

Shona Prophett now has her own section on the web at http://www.shonaprophett.co.uk where she is publishing her 2007 daily diary of events relating to the £4000 Cyberdosh challenge.

New additions are being added every week to the British Web Shop at http://www.britishwebshop.co.uk The site now includes regular updates on special offers, free gifts, vouchers, money off coupons and codes for use online shopping.

Keep checking our messageboards and feel free to add your own comments. To stay informed, you can still submit your email address to http://www.scottishmultimedia.co.uk/newsletter.htm and receive our monthly updates.

Thank you for taking the time to stop by and read our news.

McDade, email me at NYKMedia... your input is requested :-D

Edited by author 31-01-2007 21:34
ATTENTION WRITERS

Work is underway for edition 13 of 'Now You Know' magazine.
As previously discussed, the theme for this issue is cost-cutting, frugal living, thrifty tips, economical recipes, real life delaings etc, etc, etc

Looking for short pieces of around 500 words

mailto:office@scottishmultimedia.co.uk with subject heading - NYK submission. Please insert the text into your email and do not send attachments as these will be rejected by the spam filters.

Deadline for submissions 09 February 2007

Back to http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk

ATTENTION WRITERS

Channel 4 Radio and 4Talent launch their first ever nationwide search to find fresh drama-writing talent for commercial radio. If you've got a radio play in you we want to hear from you by 26th March 2007.

Develop your script.
Get top industry mentoring.
Win studio time and cash to help you produce it.
Have it broadcast on Channel 4 Radio and Oneword Radio.
Adjudicators include:
Adam Gee, Channel 4 New Media Commissioner
Paul Kent, Programme Manager, Oneword Radio
Annie Caulfield, writer and broadcaster
Trevor Dann, Director, The Radio Academy
Stephanie Sirr, CEO, Nottingham Playhouse
Chris Savery, CEO, Plays on the Net
Maud Hand, Multimedia producer
John Dryden, Radio producer, Goldhawk Productions

The Radio Play's The Thing
VISIT http://www.channel4.com/theplay TO APPLY.

Return to http://www.Scottishwriters.co.uk

Now You Know Edition 13 deadline is now upon us. If you are submitting any articles for this newsletter, they must be with us by 9am on Thursday 22nd March 2007

Hi Susan.
I'm sure you must have enough of my stuff on hand to include? let me know. Take care and God bless.
Jim



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Hi Susan.
Why you sebd me back my e-mail I sent you?
Jim



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Hi Jim,

I haven't sent you any email back, sorry. If it has come back, it's because it never reached me in the first place. Will email you and try replying to that to make sure you have correct address.

Susan

After serving time with NYK Media as a photographic model, a pebble has been thrown into confusion by his current keeper's callous actions. In a move that shocked many, NYK listed pebble, along with 2 of his colleagues, FOR SALE! Speculation arose when the pebble and 2 shells were discovered as listings on the popular auction web site at eBid. A penny for these guys seems ludicrous!
 
Pebble refuses to comment on the sudden decision to axe his modelling career at NYK Media.

Full story at http://www.cyberdosh.co.uk

Huge eBidding FUN, FUN, FUN charity event starts this weekend, 28th April 2007
 
Penny bids, unique items, weird, wacky and wonderful items, strange items, totally useless items, junk, clutter and handmade madness... Please take 2 minutes out your schedules to check this out at http://www.scottishwebauction.co.uk thank you.
 
http://www.scottishwebauction.co.uk is representing the Braveheart Childrens Trust (to grant terminally and chronically ill children with a wish) and the nominated charity from last month's top fundraiser is for the Ataxia Foundation.
 
The event is on for a full week, but starts Saturday morning. There is nothing to see at the charity site until the virtual gates open at one minute past midnight to allow fundraisers the time to list their items. They have until one minute to midnight on Sunday to complete their charity listings before the virtual gates close and it's then opened only to the bidders. This is the first month NYK Media has participated and I hope that you will all join me at this online charity fundraising extravaganza. Every single penny is appreciated and every single penny helps.

Don't forget, check it out at http://www.scottishwebauction.co.uk
 
This is guaranteed to have some loony listings, some impressive bargains, some hot bidding wars and a huge amount of fun in the accompanying forums, it's all good fun, and it's all for charity. There are also a few 'special' items being put up for auction, items with stories attached.

Unfortunately, I am not at liberty to divulge such information at this time, so you will need to check them out for yourselves. Can you remember where to find it? http://www.scottishwebauction.co.uk

This is a fun fundraising event with many of the items starting at only a penny, so there is absolutely no excuses for you not to visit and payments can be made using cheques, Postal Orders, credit/debit cards, BACS transfer
 
If you would like to sell anything, even ridiculously stupid things, on behalf of the charities, you need to register and then list to the correct category between Saturday and Sunday.
 
Check it out at http://www.scottishwebauction.co.uk

It will be well worth your while
 
See you all there as NYK Media will be representing the Braveheart Childrens Trust. Get ready to start pouring in those penny bids and help make wishes come true for chronically & terminally ill children.
 
Please pass this information on to anyone who may (or may not) be interested.
 
Thank you,
Susan

ARTISTS WANTED

Check out http://www.onlineartexhibition.co.uk

We are looking for artists and craft workers to showcase their work FREE in our online exhibition that begins soon. Take this opportunity to register your details. Why worry about 20% + commission on sales when the online art exhibition costs you nothing to exhibit and eBid charges only 3% commission if and when your work sells. You may even prefer to open your own online gallery, which costs approximately £100 to set up but ZERO to administer, and a MAXIMUM 2% SELLING COMMISSION.

Silver status costs NOTHING but incurs a 3% selling fee
Platinum status costs a single setup fee of £99.99 and then ZERO selling fees.
If you choose to add extra photographs of your work, selling fees are a maximum 2% for platinum status.

http://www.onlineartexhibition.co.uk

FUND RAISING LIVE AUCTION

It's YDC charity fundraising time again on Ebid online auctions.
Listings began last night and will end tomorrow at midnight, with all items up for auction for 7 days. Bidding has already started on many of the strange and wacky items, including the magic wish maker, as reported in 'Now You Know' magazine and 'Fileas Frog'.

You can help raise funds for various charities and grab a few 'unusual' bargains by visiting http://www.scottishwebauction.co.uk between now and next Sunday.

Return to http://www.scottishwriters.co.uk

Wigtown Book Festival

The official list of guest speakers has been announced, at last, and includes the following:

Rev. Ian Paisley, Allan Massie, Alasdair Gray, A C Grayling,
Neal Ascherson, Malachi O`Doherty, Leslie Riddoch,
Louis de Bernieres & Ilone, David Pratt, R F Forster,
Janet Paisley, Tom Morton, Jeremy Bowen, Rosie Boycott,
Christopher Brookmyre, Colin Bateman, James May,
Joanna Blytheman and Rosemary Goring.

You'll find all the details on site at http://www.wigtownbookfestival.com/september.asp

If you happen to book a visit, don't forget to drop in for a chat and a cuppa with NYK Media. :)

Charity Publishing Project

Get published - take part in this amazing fundraising book writing project - all the details can be found at http://uk.nine.ebid.net/perl/auction.cgi?a...3-3638-0&mo=auction

THE ADVENTURES OF FILEAS FROG

THIS IS GUARANTEED A 100% GENUINE OFFER!

(In order to be able to bid on this exceptional opportunity, you will need to register your details see http://www.scottishwebauction.co.uk Registration is free.

You'll need to bid, bid, bid to get this... it will be, IMHO, the greatest charity purchase you will ever have made! Fileas Frog is part of the title of a children's book that is being written to help raise funds for chronically sick and terminally ill children. If you like writing, then this is your golden opportunity to take part in a fantastic writing project that's being co-ordinated from Wigtown, Scotland's national book town. NYK Media will be collating the book for final publication in 2008. Everyone who has taken part in the writing will have the opportunity to see their work in print when this amazing publication goes into print. This golden opportunity is being offered EXCLUSIVELY through eBid online auctions and, each time a prospective bidder wins the right to write, we donate the proceeds to charity.
Become a published writer by becoming part of this amazing 'frog' tale - spread the word, write the word, bid to become part of this monumental publishing project and bring a smile to all who read the future, complete works when they finally arrive on a shelf near you.

'Fileas Frog' is codename of someone or something that needs reliable, trustworthy 'operatives' - have you got what it takes to become a secret agent? It could be any one of YOU. In fact, other agents are already among you! We are looking for aspiring writers who want to see their work in print. It can be a short story, a poem, a riddle, a rhyme, an illustration... anything you want, so long as it is about 'Fileas Frog'. At no point will anyone have access to the entire book, not until, that is, it gets printed.

Because this is such a TOP SECRET and HIGHLY CLASSIFIED mission, only one agent can be recruited for each 'stage' of the project. Could it be you? You must guarantee anonymity, you must promise not to divulge this secret - the success of the mission lies firmly in the hands of the current 'keeper' of the secret. All writers, however, will be named in the final copy.

The rest is completely confidential between publisher and writer, sorry.

Thank you for taking the time to read this article.

GOOD LUCK!

How far can Fileas Frog go? He's already crossed the Atlantic and back, only the select few will ever find out EXACTLY what Fileas Frog is or does, UNTIL the time is right! Then, one day, far off in the future of NYK land, a great commotion will arise, all will be in awe of what will be revealed - This IS an extraordinary opportunity to become part of history in the making - GUARANTEED. This must be the most imaginitive item ever offered through any online auctions anywhere. Confidentiality clause in existence for this one - between publisher & writer - but this really could make your day.

I have been asked to include the following statement made by a previous 'operative' who is still sworn to secrecy and will remain part of this mission until its final conclusion, when all will be revealed:

"Winning Fileas Frog turned out to be one of my most enjoyable wins on any auction".

Come on, hop to it... it's time to determine the next stage of this amazing story. Leave your personal mark - this IS history in the making and only the select few will ever know the truth behind the mystery that is Fileas Frog. And then, the book will be released for all to see, read, share and, ulitmately, raise funds to help grant wishes for sick children. If your wish is to become a writer, then let 'Fileas Frog' grant your wish right here, now, in a charity auction.

Become a tiny part of history in the making by bidding for this unique fundraising item that will last for years and years, benefiting sick children each and every time it sells. Help write the book.

THE 2008 CYBERDOSH CHALLENGE

It's all happening at Cyberdosh as the NYK team start gearing up for the 2008 Challenge. With only 11 weeks of this year's challenge to go, can Shona Prophett complete her 'mission'? Will she make it through the most turbulent weeks of spending that the year can throw her? Or will she crash and burn at the final financial hurdle? Who knows what will happen, all we know is that the 2008 challenge is the biggest, meanest, most difficult yet, so make sure you don't miss the chance to take part or observe from a safe distance.
Details available at http://www.cyberdosh.com

BRAVEHEARTS CHILDRENS' TRUST APPEAL

Dear Readers, I NEED YOUR HELP!

The user known as 'hypnotoad' on the eBid online auctions has thrown down his gauntlet and challenged me. I have accepted his challenge and the deadline is dawn on 23rd November 2007.

Should I succeed in this challenge, an extra £30 will be donated to Bravehearts Childrens Trust, who grant wishes for sick and dying children.

All that I need of you for my challenge to succeed is to follow this link and VOTE. If you cannot click the link, copy it and paste it into your browser and then go vote, please.

 http://helpdesk.ebid.net/showthread.php?t=98218

It will cost you nothing, I only need to raise a minimum of 80 votes in order to succeed and raise this cash, which I will personally make up to £50. I already have 34 votes - I need at least another 47. Voting is completely anonymous and it is a simple one click polling system. I ask you as friends, as neighbours, as associates, as fellow eBid members and as supporters of all that Cyberdosh stands for - the freedom to earn, and spend, as we like.

Thank you.

If you are not a member of eBid, you can join at http://www.cyberdosh.co.uk and then go to the forums, look for the KT (Kitchen Table) and then click on the link that says Poll, Polls, Polls...

Thank you, in advance, to anyone who chooses to support this cause.

WE SUCCEEDED! WE GOT THE 81 VOTES & THE £30!

Thanks go to all who took the time to log on www,ebid.net and vote. We did achieve the 81 votes needed to secure that extra £30 donation for Bravehearts Childrens Trust! Many thanks to 'Hypnotoad' for losing so well and for setting the challenge in the first place.

Next up is the great annual Cyberdosh Challenge. If you haven't yet joined, you can do so by visiting www.cyberdosh.com I'm aware of the fact that we already have some aspiring writers in our midst! Good luck and may the best writers be published.

Hello,
 
Wonderful forum. I found a lot of useful information there. Very good internet resource.
Thanks to the creators of this community.

 Good evening!
 
I suppose admin made very informative forum where
anyone can talk about latest industry news and meet new friends .
 
I've just registered and hope to find many useful things here

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