Edited by author 06-06-2004 01:27 AM
"Lemieuxmew" would have gone over HUGE in Pittsburgh. Obvious reasons. And it would have been pronounced correctly too, you betcha.

Yes I know I don't leave the house much, but even living across the street from a DAIRY for 10 years I didn't see many barn cats. My grandfather was a hunter, and cats were useless to him, he raised dogs for huntin'. So that was mom's mentality, and my dad's sister had two cats that wandered all over the counter tops, which even *I* think is gross, so he was put off cats.

Anyway. I dunno, I go out and I had friends, I just didn't run across any cats in my life. Nyah!

I did run across a roach named Maury on Friday night in my bathroom. He was shaving in front of the mirror and yelled at me to turn off the f-ing light already and turn down that damn TV. Seriously though, no cat would go up against him. I think he was too big for even the Big Roach Traps. *shudder* I left him alone to make his way out. Ironically enough, the second episode of Becker that night had a mention of a roach that he wouldn't tackle without backup. I felt his pain.

Battlefield Earth was meh. It was Fat John Travolta. It was Scientology written, funded and performed. L. Ron was never the best (or even mediocre) sci-fi writer, so the theme mallets were flailing about. Pass. You don't miss much.

And as for the rest of everyone's comments... you're going over my head again *sob* I didn't bring my French/English dictionary to LA dammit. And that's my best excuse I could come up with!

My Dad rented Gothica. It's actually pretty good. It's also one of those movies you can't describe without ruining the story.
I rented Queen of the Damned because I love Interview with the Vampire and I had my hopes up. It's not quite as bad as the Brat Queen makes it out to be (http://countylimerick.prohosting.com/rants/mw3recap.htm) but it's still pretty bad.

I'd remember Sam Adams-- their adverts leak up here via cable TV. Someone more obscure; maybe in their local market, people enjoy the great taste of bile (said it tasted like it had been in someone-- didn't say it made the whole trip...). It's Cran-gastric!

"pine tree car air" is prly one of longest strings of unmodified nouns I've ever typed.

"I had a cranberry fake-lambic that was made in the US"

Sam Adams, prly. They're the Bud of Microbrews here--their product is frequntly crap, but they've got the name recognition. They're decent on their regular line; the lager, ale, etc. But any time they try to make a fancy seasonal brew, they suck.

Ever have their White Ale? It's like drinking a pine tree car air freshener.

Edited by author 06-03-2004 10:56 AM
I also hold that lambics and monkeys share an attribute, but in my case that is "things I don't want in my mouth." Thus, I haven't looked too deply into it. I suspect, tho', that Unibroue's Quelle Que Chose is as close as you'll get. I had a cranberry fake-lambic that was made in the US, but as it tasted like it had been in someone previously, I wouldn't recommend it even if I remembered the name. I've spoken with the brewer at our local favourite brew-pub, and he reveals that most breweries in North America view the Belgian yeasts as an infection (makes the beer taste not like Labatt's/Budwieser-- you know, GOOD), so unless they want to do ONLY Belgian styles (a la Unibroue) they won't do any.

Ah, Gojira... *sigh* Just have to pray for a DVD release of the dis-Burred version.

"(btw Zef, with customs permitting, I'll be sending you an assortment of Coinage From Foreign Lands--it's a cheap world after all...)"

Woo! now i'll have to dig up my small box of coins.. and find a way to showcase all, then. thanks! and glad about the customs stuff.. i once lost a box of wuv to those evil, evil customs. (among other things, like a box of mints from thinkgeek.com)

Funny you should mention Life of Brian. They just had a run of it down here in Orlando at the Enzian (local artsy theatre). It's been re-released in the US as an "alternative" to Passion of The Christ. I thought that was pretty funny. Unfortunately I missed it while it was playing, I'd love to see it in a theatre again, but oh well.

I'm with you on the Framboise idea. There's a bar downtown that stocks the stuff and doesn't charge an arm and a leg for it, and we drink 'em dry every time we visit (they have a limited stock; my friends and I aren't total lushes. Most of the time. Anyways...). They've got a raspberry Lambic and a black cherry something else (never paid too much attention to the label). I don't know about the monkeys though. Someone will have to take care of them, and there's always the risk of flung feces all over the windscreen. I most certainly do not want to be cleaning *that* up, thank you very much.

Maudite was my favorite Unibroue produit! Until I drank it to the point of not wanting it anymore. There's a lesson there, kids. Not sure what it is, but it's there.

Does Canada replicate the Belgian boozing experience enough to make a nice raspberry Framboise? THAT'S what North America needs! A Framboise that isn't US$8 a bottle. Well, also dancing monkeys atop the stoplights to entertain us with their charming antics.

WOO! The local old-style Cinerama theater is going to show the original uncut, dubbed Godzilla! (And also Life of Brian and Shaolin Soccer! It's good to live in CT!)

Glad you're taking the time off, Billy-boy. Much as those of us here in "the collective"--assimilated or otherwise--might selfishly whine 'n moan as the lack of any new News, that willl be more than suitably offset by the knowledge that you're getting some much-deserved downtime, mon ami. Bonne vacances! :::consider yourself hugged & presented with an immense, spiritual Yoo-hoo::: <---maybe the rhetorical opposite of the "karmic bitch slap" my friend Deb spoke of?

And Ernst, I thought that political activism mail asked some very good questions (jeez, even the spam in Canada is superior to ours! Though that's admittedly a 'one-eyed man in the kingdom of the blind' sorta proposition), but like you, I can't vote for le Bloc Quebecois...or for that matter, neither can I cast a ballot for the Marijuana Party, nor any other, just because of that annoying little fact of my honorary Canadian citizenship (est. June 1996) not giving me the right to actually vote, or take advantage of the socialized medicine, or anything. Details!

So much for throwing in my non-Maudite-enhanced, only-semi-maudlin 'n tarnished two cents (btw Zef, with customs permitting, I'll be sending you an assortment of Coinage From Foreign Lands--it's a cheap world after all...) Still, that spam is a significant improvement over alla bleats from moveon.org that continually clog up my mailbox...

"Marijuana Party"?
DUDE! I like totally always knew that the thing on the Canadian flag was NOT a maple leaf!!

I just got a piece of political activism spam! It's to do with the federal election which was just called here (and which will be concluded before the regularly scheduled voting down south), but I thought the collective might be interested in the names of the parties. Being out west, I can't vote for the Bloc Quebecois. Maudite!

http://www.ceasefire.ca/

Damn Anglos.
Surely you mean "Maudite hhhhAnglais!"

....Mmmmm. Spicy, delicious Maudite... Almost as good as Trois Pistoles (which you'll just have to look around that website for-- unless you're Bill, who probably trips over crates of the stuff).
Enjoy the vacation, Bill.

Edited by author 06-01-2004 11:06 PM
Note to everyone:
No, I am NOT posting to the New for a week. I may turn up here. Go about your business.
I need a vacation from this work before the one from the real work.

Edited by author 06-01-2004 09:09 PM
Okay, I've been gone for a bit (the tragedy of losing my wallet on Sat. became slightly less tragic with its semi-miraculous return today, albeit sans the $73 it originally contained--hmmm, does my friendship with young Zefiel [& the attendant perspective therein] make it even worse, or better, to know that was what, 657 pesos? ;), so this will be back-tracking a tad. But given the timeliness with which I send Bill's bday cards, I know y'all expect no less of me.

M3--you don't leave the house much, do you? Yes, I know you've already been suitably razzed enough about your lack of cat-size-perspective, but that doesn't stop me from throwing in my recently-purploined two cents...numero uno, I'm allergic to kitties as well, but that doesn't stop me from having two of my own, chiquita. Despite the constant sneezing and runny nose--oh man, do I scream "dream date," or what?--I feel their company and sheer entertainment value more than compensate in that regard, plus numero dos: my friend Beth's cat, Dakota--another pterodactyl, I mean polydactyl (oh, that joke never gets old, at least not for me)--is the smallest of her brood, and he's 25 lbs.

Translation: you need to get out more, hon. And maybe I can score some Zyrtec samples to send you...

And on that feline topic, I read with interest Scalzi's description of Ghlaghghee's naming process, and can only agree vehemently when it comes to giving your cat any kind of interesting/vaguely-foreign name, esp. when it comes to dealing with veterinary assistants. All of my cats have been named after hockey players (Ernst, there's a clue why I'd want to make that 3234.62 km journey to Langenburg!), but with my lil' torty Lemieuxmew--pronounced "Lay-mee-yoo-mee-yoo," pour tout de vous non-French-speakers--I'd invariably get calls from the vet-folks saying, "Uhm, yeah, it's time for Lay-MIX-MIX to come in..."

Damn Anglos. And damn library folk, saying my hour on the kompyuter is already up, though quickly--Bill, last week I laughed and thought of you when I saw some comedian on tv talking about Bush's bike accident and saying (in a precise approximation of Bush's obnoxious flat Texan tones), "That bicycle HATES FREEDOM!"

"Don't they have Maine Coons out your neck of the woods? They run in the 25 lb range. Now those are cats as big as dogs! Hell, they're as big as burros."

So.. theoretically.. one could ride them, all He-Man like?

I'm a huge kaiju fan (figuratively-- I still fit inside a minivan, rather than stomping them flat), and I cannot wholeheartedly dismiss Godzilla Takes Manhatten. It's certainly miles better than ID, even if the supposed Godzilla is a bit of a creampuff. Jean Reno makes a lot of good in a movie-- Il est un tres bonne homme. If you can distribute the cost of rental amongst several MiSTypes, it's worth a look.

Battlefield Earth on the other hand-- Once I was contemplating it, and the owner/manager of the video store, whose rent is paid by people renting movies from him, told me to put it down like it was full of plague and on fire. I gotta think that's a BAD movie.

When Godzilla was first announced, I wasn't completely against the idea. They were going to have Zemeckis direct, and he can be fun. But he said it couldn't be made without a budget of $130M or so, and they dumped him. When I heard that they replaced him with The "Independence Day" Guys, I knew it would suck. (Those who've read the Sisto stories know my opinion of that stinker)

From what I know of the plot, it's pretty much a straight rip of the "Gamera vs Gyaos" remake, but without Gamera. "ID" was just a rip of every Alien Invasion movie ever made, so I'm sure that's what they did. Why else make Godzilla a female?

I understand that they can't even give Godzilla a consistent size--s/he's 300 feet tall in one scene, crawling through a subway tunnel in the next. That's a size difference of, what, 15 to 20 times? And it's monsoon season in NYC, and also always night, so as to hide the cheeziness of the CGI.

Maybe someday I'll rent it. But I haven't rented "Battlefield Earth" for the same reason--it might not funny-suck, it'll just sucky-suck.

Edited by author 05-31-2004 01:20 PM
Well.. '98 godzilla had jean reno. and i sorta liked the creature design/glowing back, so it was cool with me. then, i learned jean reno refused to be 'smith' in the matrix to act in godzilla. and my anger went to the xxtreme.

I saw godzilla 2000. it was.. exactly like the others? but really, one only sees godzilla movies to see godzilla! gosh, i'm on one of my retarded days. back to assembling network cable.

Edited by author 05-31-2004 04:08 AM
Bill -

1) a friend has a Maine Coon cat. That thing is intimidatingly big. At first you think it could be the fur... then it climbs into your lap, and soon your legs fall asleep...

2) And I saw the '98 Godzilla. It was Godzawful. I festival of product placement, bad acting, and... well, utter crappiness. Is GZ a mutant? A parthogenically created creature? A hybrid? Hell if I know, because the screenwriter apparently didn't know the difference between the concepts! I could forgive Godzilla laying several times its body weight in eggs without losing a pound, but using human pregnancy tests on it - and they work?! Godzilla attacks a Japanese cannery ship, but the can that came from the wreckage has Korean writing on the wrapper? Holy crap. Compared with that, one can ignore things like Godzilla being able to see through milky white cataracted-up pupils, and baby Godzillas being able to see straight up without tilting their heads, despite having huge bony shelves right above 'em.

I saw it with my mother. After the second or third false enzing she asked me "How long is this movie?" I didn't know, but I knew how long we'd been in there 'cause I'd just had the same thought and looked at my watch.

Edited by author 05-31-2004 02:34 AM
Disturbing news Bill offers from Kaijuland-- Last Godzilla movie?! EEEEEE! Of course, they said that of the one previous to Tristar's Gojira tai Ferrisu Byuraa as well...

"Anyone? Anyone? Barugon??"

Well, they said "last for 5-10 years." Forget James Bond, the Mean Green will always be the longest-running movie franchise. They'r prly just waiting for the CGI to get cheap enough for Japanese budgets.

Has anyone seen the '98 Godzilla? I heard that it was so bad, it wasn't bad-good, just a festival of tastes-like-ass.

"We can't even operate a thermometer--So let us handle your money!"

It may be one of those mock-frugal things: "We've got more important things to worry about than the wonky thermometer: OUR CLIENTS"

Frankly, I think it's more likely that as a giant faceless corporation, they're hoping to mislead the temperature sensitive into hyperthemic coma; "If you die intestate, your money goes to the CEO's Cigar Fund!"

I once saw a grey cat big enough that I initially mistook it for an ottoman. I cringe to think of the late-night kneading sessions.

Disturbing news Bill offers from Kaijuland-- Last Godzilla movie?! EEEEEE! Of course, they said that of the one previous to Tristar's Gojira tai Ferrisu Byuraa as well...

To be honest Bill, I've actually only seen two cats up close in my life. My parents and brother were/are allergic, and of the one I actually touched, I don't recall much of it. It didn't seem to care about me much and wandered off after one pet and sniff.

Eh, someday.

Spacey:
But why are banks so sloppy about caring whether or not the sign is accurate? There's one on the way to work that's always 7 degrees too hot if the sun's out, even in the winter.
"We can't even operate a thermometer--So let us handle your money!"

Edited by author 05-30-2004 12:29 AM
LavGrey:
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
Yes, but only because no one told Bush about fish oil!

M3:
The Kids are big? They're Domestic Shorthairs, and while it was Fate that brought 2 of the same breed into my life, if I'd actually researched cats, I'd've opted for the DS breed. They're actually not at all big. Killsy weighs in at 12 lbs, which isn't huge, and even less when you consider that DS's are very muscular.

Check out Scalzi's Ghlaghghee (pronounced "Fluffy"). She's only 2 months older than Byron, and THAT is a big cat.

Don't they have Maine Coons out your neck of the woods? They run in the 25 lb range. Now those are cats as big as dogs! Hell, they're as big as burros.

Maybe you've already heard this one, but it still makes me laff:
"I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."
-Bushbaby

"Why do I only need to know the C temp when I'm driving by a bank? Or the time, for that matter? And why only banks?"

As someone who works for a bank, I will let you in on a secret. It is because banks own the time and temperature. Bwahahahahaha!

A quick link for y'all. I don't know if any of Bill's ardent cult following here are fans of Radiohead, but whether you are or not you might find this entertaining:

http://www.hardnphirm.com/rodeohead.html

It's more funny if you know the songs, but good either way. :)

OH. MY. GOD.

The VCL Horrors group just had an entry on Gonty and there were links to TWO Gonterdance pages!!!

Appropriate song - http://www.geocities.com/gontermania/
I will never hear this song again without crying - http://www.conhugeco.org/gontermandance/

And then there's a website with a comments section under the panels!!!! http://gonterman.kicks-ass.net/displaystrip.php?comic=1&strip=1

So now instead of trying to get to sleep (at 6am) I'm going to read the comments. All the way through.

Edited by author 05-29-2004 07:26 AM
"... double it, subtract 10%, add 32, and you'll be within 1 degree of the Farenheit temp."

In my book, that is the exact conversion between Celsius and Fahrenheit, just stated in a way that's easier for us hu-mans (pronounced like a Ferengi would say it) to calculate. Doubling a number & subtracting 10% being a bit easier to do in your head than multiplying by 1.8.

Of course, Bill is probably trying to say that the result you get won't be the same as a digital Fahrenheit thermometer, since each of the displays is rounded to the nearest whole degree.

"Thank you, Mr. Science"

I suck. I'm so sorry I forgot to come back and clarify that link on Kimmaugh, but yeah, they are "fans" of hers, somewhat in a loose use of the term. My bad. I was thinking of the Site that used to be up dedicated to Gonty.

Also, loved the cat pics, if you notice a spike in hits I put them on a board I go to. I only hotlinked one picture (sleeping on the stairs?) the rest are link-links to the pages/pics.

I had no idea cats got as big as your two... They're the size of dogs. Geez.

All the 7-11 cups up here are printed in metric but have the US volumes, so you get a delightful .72l slurpee. Bhuh?

Of course, I was in grade 4 when the big metrification happened here, and thus can only think of distances in km, but my own hieght in ft/in. I blame the neighbours ;-)

...and down at the local, I can have a 20oz. pint of stout, or a 12oz. half-pint of cider...

I get why Yankee speedometers have KPH readings on them. It's so we don't drift north or south of the Borders and think, "Speed limit's a HUNDRED? Well, everyone else seems to be driving slower....but, OKAY!" VROOM! CRASH!

But why are the only inroads that Metric has made here been so lame? Soda and liquor bottles, mainly. We used to have pints, fifths, quarts, and half gallons. Now we have 750s, liters, and the ungainly-named 1.75 liter. Oh, and the half-pints are 200ML, while the pints are 375ML. So 2 half-pints are more than a pint. Try explaining THAT to a drunk sometime.
And soda. One liter or 2 liter, but everything else is in ounces. And it's only soda and likker! Nobody in the US buys a liter of milk or OJ.
And the only place you see centigrade is on bank time & temperature signs. Why do I only need to know the C temp when I'm driving by a bank? Or the time, for that matter? And why only banks? Oil change places or hospitals don't have those signs--Why? And when it ceases to be a bank, why is the sign still there? There's a bank a mile from here that closed almost a decade ago, but ever since has decided to keep the busted sign that says that the temp is always "45," except for the other side, which insists that it's "-15" (it means "45," but a part of the sign is burned out). Why don't they just turn the damn sign off?
Possibly I think about stupid shit too much.

If the bank sign gives you the temp in centigrade, double it, subtract 10%, add 32, and you'll be within 1 degree of the Farenheit temp. That's the only mathematical formula I can do in my head.

The Ozy and Millie guy has a political strip now: http://www.idrewthis.org/

Langenburg? Hmm, lessee-- 144km to Melville, and then it's not more than 85km straight east. So, hardly a tittle in local reckoning, although I think in UK terms it's unspeakably distant. I'll leave it to your frame of reference to decide on "near". Of course, the existential part of me is still saying "Langenburg? Langenburg?!" Apart from the easternmost extent of the Yellowhead highway in this province, I don't see the attraction.

(Note to foreign listeners: "km" is short for "Kelvin Miles", a form of measure used exclusively in Western Canada based on multiples of the wavelength of middle C.)

Oh, Bill, you *know* how whenever I get a mention in the News, it makes my week, and when I get an actual **scan**? Oh man, draw a big red ring around the house! (It'll have be yours, being as I'm only a renter in an upstairs apartment.)

Still, all this and multitudes o' kitty pix too! I sent the link to my friend Deb in IM just now and she exclaimed at how big Kills has gotten (it's been a while since she's seen her) while pronouncing Byron "terminally adorable." (Oh, and Zefster, when telling her about you I related the sad tale of Kiwi's fate, and Deb sent "a karmic bitch slap" to the presumed poisoners.)

Ernst, dahlink, I'm afraid I have zilch access to cars electric and otherwise, as I'm currently a patron of the Modesto public transportation system (can't really say I agree with the Chinese girlfriend's paean to l'entire autobus experience at your brother's page, but maybe it's just a fundamentally more pleasant endeavor in Canada? In my experience most things are, and I'm not just saying that because codeine is legal over the counter there, either).

Still, should I suddenly become blessed with a fleet of electric cars, I'd more than welcome the opportunity to deliver one to Saskatchewan, mon ami. (How far are you from Langenburg? I have to make a pilgrimage there sometime...)

Byron doesn't play bongos as much as he clog-dances.

...And I COMPLETELY forgot to coo over the pictures. Huzzah for pretty cats! I wonder whether He of Many Toes will perform the same sort of bongo solo as our standard-toed tabby when the spot is waggled in small circles right in front of him?

Edited by author 05-27-2004 08:30 PM
Lilly: I'll trade you my hockey rights for some of those keen electric cars (damn, where'd I leave that phone number for the Faustian Bargain Centre?).

Zephiel: Hockey fans are annoying. Soccer fans are semi-biblical. You definitely win. Even when the Grey Cup (national CDN-rules football championship) was played here and won by the home team, all we had was traffic congestion. Soccer fans seem to have a little extra rage.

Bill: ..."sounds like a hard-boiled detective made of pocket fluff." Oddly enough, when engaged in writing for my brother's site, I'm looking for a tone somewhere between that (well, without the fluff aspect) and William Burroughs. Pretentious? Oh, yeah!

I find myself rather puzzled by the panic shoppers you describe on your site. I guess four feet of snow makes for a different mindspace than -40 temperatures (the magic place where C and F meet, right here in Regina, every winter!).

There's a new Pepsi now?

Strangely, the classic glass Coke bottles are pretty common here. They're about a buck or so. Must be a regional thing.

Edited by author 05-27-2004 12:07 AM
Well, around here there are ads daring us to try the 'new' pepsi. i dunno, most mexicans are addicted to coke. is it called there 'coca-cola'? i can't remember, imagine. other fun spanish names: 'coca', 'coquita'.

Yes and no. i am not the genius Ryan north. i did the fan picture. i read the strip, and got the idea, and i wanted to do a full drawing of my own, but i feared someone else would think of it too and just photoshopped it. i plan to draw the scene later.

I'm so in love with byron's pantherish looks.

"given the hootin' and hollerin' that's going on in the corner via CBC's "Hockey Night in Canada (and a bit of Florida)" just now."

hahahahaha. ha. try mexico on for size. when there's the world cup, and mexico's playing, whole *neighborhoods* shake with the scream of 'gooooaaaaalll' roaring everywhere. and then the drunks everywhere, and the hollerin' and rioting.

Bill, i was reading the Burguer king entry at 1am last night. i hadn't laughed so much so late in a while.

Kitty pictures! Thank you Bill! I will give you $8.00 dollars for Byron. I'll give you $20 if you throw KK into the deal.

Hey, and Mimi, you forgot Diet Coke with Lime! (Something my neighbor drinks, which baffles me. I'll stick to Diet Pep as long as I'm in North America--I recall its U.K. incarnation as weird 'n icky.)

Ernst... :::sigh::: There are indeed some of us out here--in fact, some of us *!right*here!*--who would give quite a lot to be able to see HNIC on a remotely regular basis. Though yes, I can admit that your average Cali girl isn't exactly down with the entire oeuvre of Don Cherry (since when did I claim to be average?)...regardless, Go Flames!

Aha, we have discovered young Zeffy's secret identity--instead of being our own Rico Suave South, he's actually some guy named Ryan North! Well played, mi amigo... ;)

Mimi:
They used to have seperate bowls--and seperate food--but either one would always eat the other's over the food meant for them.

Just looking at gallopin' B there...

Kitty-bowls!
So, if KK's is the little dainty pink Hello Kitty bowl, is the honking big bowl next to it Byron's trough? ;)

...NEWER coke?...so that maaaakes:
Coke, Cherry Coke, Vanilla Coke, caffiene-free Coke, diet varieties of all-of-the-above and Diet Coke with Lemon.

Look, how much more choice do people WANT other than 'High-fructose corn syrup' or 'aspartame'?

But no, seems we need Coke-with-not-QUITE-as-much-HFCS-as-regular-but-I-don't-want
it-to-taste-all-chemically-like-Diet.
It's Neurotically Indecisive Coke ;)

Hey Zefiel,

Is this picture by you? I don't know too many Zefiels.

Apparently timed to coincide with As If!'s latest storyline--Newer Coke.

I apologize, Dir--err, Ernst Bitterman--but "Dirck de Lint" sounds like a hard-boiled detective made of pocket fluff.

VOICEOVER (by that one guy who does every damned Hollywood trailer): In a WORLD--(shot: grainy, out-of-focus street scene)--Where the cops are all in someone's POCKET--(shot: dark scene of cops taking bribes, while it darkly rains in the dark)--comes--ONE MAN--(shot: DIRCK DE LINT, moving into close-up)--who's coming OUT of the POCKET--(shot: fistfights, car chases, explosions)--to see that JUSTICE isn't WASHED AWAY! (shot--somebody cleaning out a dryer lint trap)

Does Hollywood's Only Movie Voiceover Guy always talk like that?
Drive-thru: Welcome to Burger Thing, may I take your order please?
HOMVG: IN A WORLD--where ONE MAN--really needs a WHOPPER--
D-t: Umm, okay, that's one Whopper, right?
HOMVG: Where ONE WHOPPER--stands between HUNGER--and a RUMBLY TUMMY-TUM--
D-t: S-sir?
HOMVG: Can a LARGE FRY--mean the DIFFERENCE--between HORROR--and TERROR?!
D-t: Um, sir, you're scaring me!
HOVMG: Will he get a SHAKE--or the SHAFT? (makes exploding noises with his mouth)
D-t: SUPERVISOR!
HOVMG: Only the SUPERVISOR stands between--ONE MAN--and his WHOPPER!
SUPERVISOR: A WHOPPER--with CHEESE--and when it reaches the end of ONE MAN'S colon--!(makes exploding noises)
HOVMG: And in the END--ONE MAN will be left STANDING! With a WHOPPER WRAPPER! And that man--is ME!!
SUPER (to D-t as HOVMG drives away): ONE MAN--always gets plenty of spit on his Whopper.

BTW, after (in order) pre-Bush America, New Zealand and Canada, The Netherlands comes in next as my favorite country. I mean, how much more liberal can you get? And there's those Amsterdam coffee houses! Which are cool becuase they serve all that...
...coffee!

Nothing personal against Jhonen fans, by the way. Actually, I hate Pokey the Penguin too. But I love Isometric. The title of my novel, A Deeper Breath, was inspired by an Iso strip.

"That's a quite clever way of dissing someone."

No one in particular. It seemed a good example of a baffling preference, given the hootin' and hollerin' that's going on in the corner via CBC's "Hockey Night in Canada (and a bit of Florida)" just now. Someone else in the office is extremely anxious about the outcome *sigh* Bill's TV-free existence seems very appealling sometimes.

I'm a rabid pacifist, but I *loved* "Johnny." Despite its somewhat crude appearance, it's actually very well thought out. Johnny is delightfully fucked up. You can't help but sympathize with him while at the same time abhoring the things he does. Jhonen taps into the anger and rage of a disaffected generation.

Sorry, slipped into art school mode there. Um, Jhonen rocks, but it's kind of an aquired taste.

"some people apparently like to watch sports on television...
;-)"

That's a quite clever way of dissing someone.

I've not run up against "Johnny", but I quite enjoyed "Squee!", and "Invader Zim" was, if I may coin a phrase, a laff riot. Chacun a son gout, I suppose-- some people apparently like to watch sports on television...
;-)

Gah. Jhonen Vasquez. He's the one comic book artist who's ever literally given me a migraine. I made the mistake of buying Johnny the Homicidal Maniac because somebody recommended it. It's like Violence Man, except painfully unfunny.

 'A reader whose name I hope really isn't "Dirck de Lint"'

I refer you to http://imdb.com/name/nm0513190/ -- it's a Dutch name, and if you watch carefully, you'll discover, as we say in Canada, "Der verdammt Nederlanders sein überall."

re. Zork and Zeebil.
Hmmmmm....this smacks of 'deliberately bad' to me. I've got Jhonen Vasquez' Bad Art Collection and this isn't too far off from that. Except thankfully, Jhonen has more wit. He openly admitted he drew and published it to prove that some rabid comic fans will buy any old crap. And he was right. ;)

Girl, about 11, to her mother: "You get to drink a whole bottle of vodka, but I can't even have a little in my juice!"

Did this really happen??!? The sad thing is, this poor girl will probably grow up to be an alcoholic just like her mom.

Oh, there's worse stuff than Gonterman out there:
Zork and Zeebil.

This is a typical strip.

re. Kimmaugh

I'm with Negs as far as trying to work out what's what with her art. I'm assuming it's all hers, but her detractors say most of her work is plagiarised from others. I can't really judge if her own art skills are bad when we don't know what's copied and what's her own stuff.

And yes, I haven't come across anyone worse than Gontie ;)

And in non-direct contrast to Negs (I gots zip, nada problemo con furries either), when I looked at that Last Supper pic, I thought, "Wow, whether it's male or female, that looks like every furry I've ever known." But I kid the differently-attracted types!

Zef, honey, we've covered this before--my Messican channels aren't the same as yours! Univision=Televisa, Telemundo=?? and Azteca America=TV Azteca. I've probably seen that commercial on all three networks, though not for a few months or so. Maybe sometime I should do a rant in my LJ about how profoundly my cultural perspective has shifted in this past year of watching so much programming en espanol, but it's not going to happen today, a.k.a. the day the library closes early...

Zefiel - if that's the worst art you've seen, you haven't been looking much. In fact, you haven't ever followed a link to Gonterman's site.

After looking through this site a bit more, I see what's going on. *sigh* I hate to say it, but that seems typical of Furry fans* with a grudge: make a site all about who and what you can't stand to broadcast your grudge to all and sundry and try to draw others in. Remember the Burned Furs? Registering a domain for it seems a bit extreme even for furries, though.

And why the indexless directories? The lack of program notes makes it pretty difficult to puzzle out what's going on. Are all those dog creature variations her art, or others spoofing hers, or what? On second thought, do I really care?

* Note - I am not a furry hater. I get annoyed with the stereotype of all furry fans as weirdos and perverts. Gotta love the media and their fascination for ratings, and the average person's habit of thinking that the images that stand out in their minds are representative of the whole, as opposed to the far end of the bell curve.

Just checked out the Kimmaugh. And some of her archived lj stuff.

Whooooooooo, NELLY!! Whatta beauty ;)
Looking at her artwork, she's a BIT more competent than Gonty, but still a LOOOOONG way from being good enough for professional animation. VERY long way.

Exibit A:

"http://www.kimmaugh.com/images/dinosaur.jpg"

Exibit B:

"http://www.kimmaugh.com/images/snake.jpg"

I'm sorry? You've seen worse?? i'm glad i haven't..

"showed that ad in a U.S. theatre, as I've only ever seen it on Mexican television"

On what channel? i haven't.. we have a girl walking around and handing everyone a small coke bottle, all good vibe ish.

"I've only started my journey through the files, and already I'm cracking up. Apparently she exists on the Portal of Evil too, why haven't she and Gonty made billions of mad babies yet!?"

If the Last supper's pic is of her, there might be a hint. afterall, she doesn't have a breast bigger than the other, an androgynous face, and animal ears. or he just doesn't know about her yet.

Edited by author 05-21-2004 12:04 AM
I just checked out that site, and... CRAP. Is this a joke? Links to directories, with no clue as to what all that crap is? Oy. That's a Gonterman train all right: post stuff up, not thinking about whether other epople will know what the hell it is, because *you* know.

The furry art I saw ain't bad. Ain't special, but I've seen tons worse. The one X-rated pic I saw, though... the picture was shrug-and-shake-the-head material, but the description was hilariously bad. I won't link to it; it won't be hard to find if you think about the filenames.

Edit: Someone's going to Hell for The Last Supper.

BTW, that supposed to be a truck Davey's waving at in the first panel, not a Playskool Cozy Coupe.

M3:
Her website is her DIRECTORY?! She links to her DIRECTORY?!?!
Any prime bits of ripeness there you want to point out?

'kay, no one else has mentioned Daveykins' latest...thing, so I will. It's even funnier if you haven't been trying to make heads or tails out of Livewire Latte. "Adam, I detected your...nevermind. Hello, Madame Tussaud? One of them escaped again."

(Not that I'm so big on self-promotion, but some random guy here at the library just called me that after I made some smart remark to him; I was busy printing out color copies for Sr. Zefiel's upcoming card, so I just mumbled a thank-you...what are you supposed to do in these situations, anyway?)

I'm guessing it might have something to do with me being somewhat shaped like a Coke bottle, though I actually only drink the large Diet Pepsis that come in six-packs. I'm actually surprised they showed that ad in a U.S. theatre, as I've only ever seen it on Mexican television, which seems to have a different standard re: sexism (which initially squicked me out but now I accept as merely different, not good or bad per se).

M3, if she wouldn't freak out from the travel and new surroundings, I'd be glad to send my Fetisova down to you so she could ameliorate the roach problem. She catches and eats anything that flies, though so far I've managed to head her off from a few bees 'n wasps...

More kitty pictures! We want mo, mo, MO! please!

Found something and thought of Our Boy Gonty - http://www.kimmaugh.com/

It's a whole site dedicated to the insanity, mad rantings and horrible art of some girl Kim. The thing that clinched my opinion that she is Gonty's twin sister is the fact she's obsessed with the "Road Rovers" tv show, a cartoon from the late 90s that lasted about one season before being yanked. Ring a bell?

I've only started my journey through the files, and already I'm cracking up. Apparently she exists on the Portal of Evil too, why haven't she and Gonty made billions of mad babies yet!?

Byron's claws are dull. They are also HUGE. Twice-normal kitty-sized.

Are you sure Toe-boy has dull claws? His window climbing reminds me of that episode of Aeon Flux where she scales a wall using steel claws.

You'd have liked kiwi. he once caught a fly.

I'm shaped like a keg. And believe me, if I had a keg of Coke, I'd be one happy girl. Mmmmm GOOD. Hope it burns a hole in my stomach soon, these bills are piling up.

Kitten pictures make me happy. Although, he's frickin' huge, so um, cat pictures.

I use gourd and phrackwhore. Phrackwhore is for those things that piss you off beyond comprehension and yet you go back and get more and revel in it. Gonterworks, a really stoopid right wing blog, a porn site with trojan java apps (but they have liek, rilly good pron!)....

Had another dream about Rainbow, the black cat that does not exist. Rather disturbing now. Dealt with Speedy the Roach in my kitchen the other day and almost wished I had a cat to catch the buggers. Where is Rainbow, dammit.

In that case, I'm shaped like a straw.

There was an article in the Sunday paper which actually used the word "yamtastic." I was delighted.

Negs:
No. But since you're a woman, the ad says that you're shaped like some Coke container.

(I realize that in humungous cities--ie, ones with populations larger than that of my entire state--it's actually stupid to own a car)

Hmmm... I live in Atlanta, and I take the bus. Does that make me poor?

well, shameless self promotion again. right now it only has stupid stuff, but my DJ is updating again! woo! justso if aaaanyone cares, hehe.

Lily, that's remarkably like the matchbox car i own. i'll look around and try to find one for ya, ok?

http://www.deadjournal.com/users/zefiel/

My friend Don is here with me at the library, and much as I'd like to claim his bon mots for my own, I won't.

To the "Bush is Sauron" sticker at Ellie's page (whose rant I absolutely adored and totally concurred with), Don remarked, "I don't think he's Sauron as much as Pippin who got into Sauron's tower."

Dang, now I can't remember the other thing, and neither can he. And he doesn't know who Rory Cochrane is either, so he's no help with Monsieur VitesseDeux, either (though I was *hoping* we might do a quick run-through with the gaydar machine anyway)...

heh...one wonderful thing about quicktopic..they don't convert smilies into their cartoon equivalents, letting them stay a mildly clever typographical joke rather than a dumb little cartoon.

well, I've been a big fan of "the news" for years, which is why I link so often from http://kisrael.com/

I'm happy he set up this discussion space, even though I can't use it when checking up on his site over lunch at work (my work has some weird blocking ideas)

I think being able to support a small forum like this is a great sign for the worth of a webpage. I'd be greatly bummed if Bill decides to give it all a miss. The thing is, I can't put my finger on what exactly I love about his page, it is some balance of the links and commentary/rambling.

But, obviously, the final decision is his. I'm an attention slut, so I can only barely empathize with the urge to just give it a rest, but still, I can kind of see where that comes from.

One of these trips through Connecticut I gotta pay him a visit :-)

Political Matchup Rains Low Blows
Connecticut Forum Referees Ann Coulter And Al Franken At The Bushnell
By TARA WEISS
Courant Staff Writer

May 15 2004

The evening was titled "A Conversation Between Al Franken & Ann Coulter," but it was more a verbal schoolyard brawl, where even the teacher attempting to break it up got a bloody nose.

"I'm going to try to keep it fair, keep it moving, and I should have brought my body armor," said commentator Steve Roberts, moderator of the Connecticut Forum at the Bushnell Center for the Performing Arts on Friday.

It would have come in handy. Neither Roberts nor the audience were spared the punches thrown by the acid-tongued conservative commentator Coulter and comedian-turned-liberal talk radio host Franken.

Although they're frequent critics of each other - Franken even devotes several chapters of his recent book to bad-mouthing Coulter - it was the first time the political foes appeared together on the same program.

The evening's tone was set early when Roberts asked which political figure each would most like to be. Coulter said she would answer with who she believed had the most fun. Her response: Sen. Joseph McCarthy, because he got to remove "communist spies from the government."

That elicited loud booing from the sold-out audience, that made its political leanings obvious with frequent applause and jeers.

Franken's response: "Hitler."

The audience roared with laughter.

Roberts, a former New York Times reporter who is married to National Public Radio political correspondent Cokie Roberts, asked relevant questions of the two, but didn't always get relevant responses.

Roberts: Do you think the Bush administration did anything wrong in regard to the war in Iraq?

Coulter: "When we won the war in a few weeks with amazingly few casualties, all the liberals had to complain about was some broken pottery. Any college student who was ever forced to gaze at Mesopotamian pottery was relieved."

Roberts: The Massachusetts Supreme Court voted to allow gays to marry there. How do you feel about gay marriage?

Coulter: "Have they read the Constitution? It's a short document. It doesn't say anything in there about gay marriage. We need to get them looking for Osama Bin Laden, because if they can find gay marriage in that document, maybe they can find him."

The audience reacted audibly, as it did many times. (In some cases the outbursts prompted Coulter to address the crowd which she seemed to view as mainly liberal. Go ahead and continue to be rude, she said, "it keeps getting Republicans elected.")

Franken, who is Jewish, put his own anti-Coulter spin on the topic of gay marriage: "This whole Christian thing is weird to me. In the Bible it says it's an abomination to eat pork, and there are also instructions on how to sell daughters into slavery, which maybe I can ask for your advice on, Ann."

Roberts futilely tried to remain on topic.

After Coulter made a comment about liberals being liars, Franken brought up her age, something that's been written about often in the press. There are conflicting reports.

"I've written books about Joseph McCarthy, Bill Clinton getting impeached, but all Al can argue about with me is that I lie about my age," Coulter said. "I don't lie about my age. I'm 23."

Franken shot back: "I think you should be in Guantanamo where under John Ashcroft the rules of the Geneva Convention wouldn't apply."

Roberts, trying to intercede, called for an intermission, but Franken refused to break until Coulter disclosed her age.

"That's not the important question," Coulter said. "The important question is how tall are you?"

Franken: "Five foot eight."

Coulter: "No you're not."

Franken: "Yes, I am. It's on my driver's license."

Before their appearance on stage, Coulter, her trademark short skirt barely covering her rail-thin thighs, was separated from Franken at his request. Each was seated at a small table on opposite sides of the room as they were being interviewed by television and print reporters. Two Forum billboards separated them.

"This is so odd that we're doing it this way, we can't see each other?" Franken asked. "This is bizarre."

He then requested the posters be taken down.

With about 3,300 audience members at the Bushnell and an overflow auditorium at The Hartford where the debate was simulcast, it was the largest Forum audience ever, organizers said.

Copyright 2004, Hartford Courant

Edited by author 05-15-2004 07:42 PM
For our Missouri friend (or wherever you've gotten to these days)...

http://www.columbia.edu/~marg/ani/letter.html

Sorry, you mentioning women's magazines made me think of Ms. It's a long-ass letter, but the translation is basically that Ani DiFranco didn't like being termed a rampant capitalist, as you might expect she would. (I found that article when I was Googling her for my niece--who it turns out didn't get to interview her after all, though she+infant daughter had a great time at the concert.)

I know it's prolly an oft-told fact, but I saw some overwhelming statistic about the self-image of women plummeting after they'd been reading fashion magazines. Still, that didn't mean I didn't grab the latest issue of W at my doctor's office so I could see fashion for the first time in ages...besides, the women on Telemundo are the most uniformly glamorous and gorgeous on the planet, so if I can still leave the house after looking at them, maybe all is not lost.

Sr. Zefiel, great to hear from you, and glad you're in one piece. I found *this*...

http://cgi.ebay.com/ebaymotors/ws/eBayISAP...755&sspagename=WD1V

...though at first I didn't think it was a keychain but it came with its own handcuffs for any criminal activity that might ensue therein. Tells you how my mind works sometimes, when it's working at all...

"BellyBeats Fetal Dopplers
Hear your unborn baby's heartbeat as early as 8 wks Free Preggie Pops
www.BellyBeats.com"

For some reason I read that as "Hear your unicorn baby's heart beat." Which, I think, makes it about ten times more interesting.

I shall now use the word "spurlock" from now on, even though it's really hard to fit in a sentence, to spread the love of the Splut.

Edited by author 05-15-2004 02:31 AM
careful calling the Wuzzles names. you don't want to offend a creature that is half lion, half bee.

http://www.x-entertainment.com/messages/650.html

I was reading an old article by Gloria Steinem wherein she said that all the crap printed in women's magazines cause women to dis-esteem each other because we assume that other women must like this garbage. It occurs to me that the same is true of the news. I've been assuming that this flim flam is what My Fellow Americans want to see when really it's what advertisers (meaning coroporations) want us to see.

After all the serious and angry posts I feel like I should say something wacky.
WOOZLE WAZZLE!

Geez, i can't post for a while and everyone posts lots.. then i post. and all goes quieeet..

Again google ads befuddle minds..

"BellyBeats Fetal Dopplers
Hear your unborn baby's heartbeat as early as 8 wks Free Preggie Pops
www.BellyBeats.com"

hey, mexico might be beaten on the area of icky pops..

I be alive, yo. Those Bug taxis are funnier in real life, and no, it's not likely to get mowed by one. however, it's far more possible to be robbed or mugged in one. and it works both ways, so most of those bugs have the driver in a kind of 'jail ' of mesh or even bulletproof plastic, you slide the coins and such. i gots a matchbox car of one of those bugs, did anyone by any crazy chance see if they were sold there?

If i go to amerika i wouldn't be hitchhiking, i though that was implied. i'd be greyhounding around.

I'd comment on gonterman, but as a wannabe artist i don't feel i can judge anyone, lest i be judged and beaten.

You know, I have even less tolerance for the Gontercrap than the rest of you, so I only click on the links part of the time. What distresses me about that pic--apart from the very salient points everyone else has already made--is where Adam is grabbing her. Subconscious wish fulfillment?

Hey everybody, how much does Bill rock? Well, y'all know how much he rocks, already, but get this--he even rocks to the extent of gifting penniless, semi-shiftless Left-Coast'ers with 2 mos. of free NetFlix subs, *that's* how much he rocks! ::happy yay!Bill!thank-you! dance::

All that would make my evening complete now would be some assurance that our young Messican friend hasn't gotten mowed down by one of those green-and-white Beetle taxis I see on novelas all the time...?!

I don't get any of my news from the TV, but I was flipping channels when I caught some reporter saying that "even the critics of the Iraqi war have to admit that oil is successfully being exported from the country."

Guh. Words fail me.

Hehe, my favorite part of that SMUSA bullshit was the fact that Usagi's odangos were actually part of her skull! No wonder they tried to abort her. And how exactly does one rescue an aborted fetus and put it up for adoption? And if she's Davey's sister, why does she keep flirting with him? Why would anyone have any sexual interest in him at all, sister or not?

Oops, my brain broke too. You gotta admit, the boy's creative, even if it's creative at hurting the rest of us.

Bill: More kitty pictures! We must have more adorable pictures of the Great White and her Polydactyl Wonder Boy sidekick!

"A twenty something miscarrage/violent crime victom"

What - the - FUG?

Was she miscarried as the result of a violent crime? Were they separate incidents? Or did she miscarry as the result of a violent crime? If she was the miscarriage, why not call it premature north? Was her hair already in odangos and a crescent on her forehead too? AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH!

*pant pant pant*

David Gonterman has an unsurpassed genius for breaking my brain.

About the book woth no verbs: At first I thought, "This is one of those cool and useless things." Then the guy starts going on about how the damn paperweight is a "revolution in the history of literature." Groan. If only I had a dollar for every time I heard that phrase.
As an aspiring novelist, if I ever get famous and then use the phrase "revolution in the history of literature" you are permitted to brain me.

Rabbit:
Yeah, "disturbing." Count the ways that this is weird/incomprehensible/misspelled/just plain phracked:

http://foxfirestudios.us/4images/details.php?image_id=12

I know that some male fanfic authors have a weird desire to hurt their own female characters (as no girls would date them in high school), but (sic) "A twenty something miscarrage/violent crime victom virtually 'aged' over 1000 years to become a warm grandmothery figure"? How do you "virtually age" someone to a THOUSAND, ten times as long as the longest-lived human has ever seen? Are they like Swift's Strondbergs (or whatever they were called), immortals that still age, until they're just shambling, senile sacks of wrinkles? She's at "over 1K mentaly," but is that good? And what does it MEAN? She's gained a millenium's worth of knowledge? Unlikely from an author who has yet to install a spel chekc.

I'm typing this one-handed while entertaining Foot-Boy with his laser pointer, so forgive any of my typos.

I think the Piasa bird story is at reallybadfanfiction.com. I tried to read it, but my brain melted as soon as I saw the part about it being told by a Power Ranger. And I have a very high tolerance for Gonty-kins work.

If you want even more psychological fun, take a look at the "Lost Boy Found" sketchbook. Some of his stuff, like the description of the maids, is pretty disturbing. Not that art shouldn't be disturbing, but this stuff is creepy in a sort of un-self-conscious kind of way.

Obviously a lot of people here were not around for his Piasa Bird story. It's one of the "lost Gonterworks" that was recently unearther. It's so bad that Jen White was going to MiST it... and then just couldn't face the idea of beating her head against that fantastic piece of poop.

Edited by author 05-12-2004 07:28 PM
I remember this Lost Boy thing, it was one of the first things I skimmed, but now that I know more of the Gontertude it's a lot more worrisome. I mean, did certain things really happen or is it artistic license or did they happen but not to the extent portrayed? Not that it makes it less pathetic, but I am curious.

Whoa. NATIONAL MONUMENT!?!? Excuse me while I clean my monitor, I should never read Gonterman and eat at the same time. Memorial... my good gourd.

I must get caught up around here, darnit.

"Lost Boy Found" is at http://foxfirestudios.us/adamorigin.shtml
with his other stories. He's started writing prose stories and putting them up as PDF files, complete with GonterArt. His writing is pretty bad, but it has improved some over the years. I wish someone would explain to him the importance of staying in the same tense.

I find it very sad (or funny) that he thinks that Wizards of the Coast is going to track him down and publish his Planeswalker stories.

Hope ya keep writing - I enjoy the cat stories.

I wonder if the TV-watching and the pointer-chasing have anything to do with the polydactylness of the cats. Mom and Dad's Wooly, depending on the program, will sit on a speaker and watch TV. I made a video of him watching a dog rodeo - http://24.138.4.101/catvid/test.avi

He also goes crazy over laser pointers. But he won't get off the rug in the den, he'll only run to the limits of it, and keep off the hardwood floor - unless you shine the pointer towards his food dish, then he'll run after it. He's demented.

Rabbit:
"I think it has something to do with him creating an alternate reality for himself where he's not a hopeless, pathetic loser."

Umm. That's basically Gonty since...well, ever, really.

Where's "Lost Boy Found"? I Googled and didn't find.

"Anatomy books," heh! Maybe he should start with the one labeled "BRAIN"?

I've been wondering what the hell is going on in Livewire Latte too. I think it has something to do with him creating an alternate reality for himself where he's not a hopeless, pathetic loser.

In fact, if you read his story "Lost Boy Found" (featuring even more GonterArt), you can see the specific moment he branches his own life away from that of Adam Packbell. It speaks volumes about his current psychological status.

His new site also has a message board. I've been fighting the urge to pop in and start recommending anatomy books.

Ungh. Still can't read Gont without my eyes bleeding.

I like how the conclusion of that corporation article is "Yeah, our system is really really really really bad. But STALINISM IS EVEN WORSE!"

I had another dream about being Scully. I was stalked by a serial killer from beyond the grave. Mulder saved me, though I can't quite remember how. Probably did something wacky and esoteric. That's Mulder for you.

The scariest thing about the Gontermess is that last line:

"I...understand."

WELL I PHRACKIN DONT THERE PARDNER!!!!!!

Maybe he's changed meds again.

Edited by author 05-11-2004 12:28 AM
Negs:
Interesting. I didn't read all her entries, just flitted through a few. I'll prly read the whole of it after I've seen the movie to compare both sides of the story. She lost weight on her "1,800 to 2,000 calorie a day diet"? From Ebert:
"I agree with the nutritionist that her recommended three meals would not add weight; her daily caloric intake totaled 1,460 calories, which is a little low for a child under 4, according to the USDA."

Flitting around the journal, I keep seeing rants about how the Government is overregulating us over things like health and the environment. Such as "Earth Day, just another reason to solicit money from the public." If that's not a red flag (along with the site's corporate funding sources), I don't know what is. What I didn't see is what Spurlock did--get checked regularly by doctors during his stunt. Did she? What are her levels of cholesterol and blood sugar? Just because she lost 10 pounds doesn't mean that she's healthy.

Hmm, her site bio mentions how she's been an "expert" on Rush "Oxycontin" Limbaugh...

Ah, more SHAWTtery, even if it's no longer brand name. Bring it on!

Actually, the McDonald's Food Eating Lady did post more. Here's the post on her 30th day:
http://www.cei.org/gencon/019,04002.cfm

And here's where you can find a lot more of her daily McPosts:
http://www.cei.org/dyn/newscenter.cfm

As for the Gonterstrips, what's happening is Brak, Zorak, and Space Ghost are screaming in agony somewhere nearby. They can't even think of a snappy reply, so all they can do is shriek their pain.

M3:
Weirdly, almost every dream I have involving The Kids is about there being identical multiple copies of them. You prly got a set of some of the clones.

Lilly:
Yes, NetFlix requires plastic. Sorry, I thought that you might have a card.

Negs:
...And I haven't even talked about all my co-workers yet! Someday I should write about a recently departed employee, "Beertard." Of course, there's also the question of the methadone clinic--What was the other worker doing there at 6AM?

First thunderstorm of the season rolling through CT--I'd better log off.

Edited by author 05-10-2004 10:39 PM
Anybody want to follow this sequence of 3 Gonterstrips and tell me what the PHRACK is going on?
http://livewire.keenspace.com/d/20040503.html

Edited by author 05-10-2004 09:29 AM
Man, you really get some wonderful coworkers, don't you, Bill? They even top the Nuwaubian cultist that used to work on my office, and *he* was a real piece of work.

I'm glad to see you updating again - but don't feel like you have to "put out" all the time for us. I like reading what you post; your writing style makes just about anything fun to read. But don't force yourself, okay?

I had a dream the other night that KillKill and Byron showed up at my apartment, along with a pitch black cat named Rainbow. I was petting them, felt very real, the soft warm twitchy ears I remember distinctly. I checked the box they got delivered in and it said it was from CT, so I got online to tell Bill I had his cats, and why did he ship them to me in a box (I was a litle peeved about that!)... he denied it, said his cats were right there. I turned around from the computer and asked KK (who was laying on a box by my closet) if she was in fact KK and she meowed. Then I woke up.

I think I'm the one in need of a methadone clinic.

(Come on, soup tureen, full of congealed old spleen...)

Dang, Billy, you *would* have to suggest NetFlix right after I'd been to Amazon and found that I can now get at least the first season of League of Gentlemen on DVD (though I'd miss season 2 and Dr. Lazaro in particular), not to mention Rowan Atkinson's Dr. Who parody from 1999 and the admittedly-expensive-but-worth-it first season of Kids in the Hall...sure, I have all the eps on tape already, but how much better would "the Dr. Seuss Bible," "No Regrets" or EVERY Buddy Cole monologue be with audio commentary?

(I think that premise, along with the inclusion of deleted scenes, is the primary reason for the success of DVD's. C'mon, how many people actually buy/rent them for the improved visual quality, and how many for that much-vaunted 'extra stuff'?!)

Still, don't you need a valid credit card for NetFlix? ::sigh:: Nearly everything fun requires a credit card in this day and age. Bleah.

Zefster, I'm sure that if you came to the U.S. and were summarily accused of a crime, you have more than a few friends here on this side of the border who'd go to bat for you. Odds are great that at least one of us would know a competent lawyer, too.

I took Mexico City's crime rate into consideration when I made that comment about backpacking, but I still couldn't help reflecting on how when I lived in the U.K. over a decade ago, I truly felt as if I'd been transported to the U.S. in the 1950's; this was never so much true as when I got a ride out to Safeway with a sweet older lady, and how we agreed that if we were stateside, neither of us would feel safe offering or accepting a ride from a stranger. Promise you'll at least *consider* getting a bus or train pass, k?

Lilly:
No, Bernie was the grey very fat one. I don't think he's shown in the Cat House pics, just mentioned (he's the reason they made the staircase--he could climb up, but he couldn't get down).
You could try the Netflix free trial. It claims to be only 2 weeks long, but when I cancelled, they added another 2. You should be able to get a good 8-10 DVDs from them in that month. Take the time to think up a list before you try it, as they have just about everything. Except "Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!" And Byron Byron!!

Honeybee:
We're not dead yet. I'm working on an "every other day" system for now, even if that just means links.

Oh no! So sad to see, Bill, that you lost your fun with your website. I truly loved to stop and get my daily dose of your news.
That German video: A parody, jawohl. Making fun of a labour insurance safety video of the 1980ies.
http://www.wdr.de/tv/siebter_sinn/archiv/20040502.html
"Old people don't hear well"...run Opa!

I recently rediscovered these Strange Interlude things by Kagenami Q and Simone Maxwell. If you're a geek and/or a Gundam Wing fan, you'll like these. And if not, they're still pretty funny.
http://www.madkukkii.com/si37a.html

Edited by author 05-08-2004 01:18 AM
I be wuv'in the Cat house too. kiwi used to get to the highest places around the house all the time. once he duked it out with the toy T-rex and toy Alien queen i had on toppa desk. guess who lost.

Bill, as my DJ can attest to, not everyone keeps up to date and such. but really, we'd hate to see you close the page or stop updating. i mean, lookit achewood.com, the dude makes a comic wherever he feels like it and we stupid fan base still check everyday. it'd be the same with you, we wouldn't mind, honest. we wuv you and the kitties too much.

I'm not scared about backpacking and crime. if anything, mexico city can teach a thing or two to other cities about crime. what scares me is the apparent pattern that all mexican who are charged with a crime are also apparently all condemned to death.

Now i go, tomorrow there's a hired lady coming to clean our house, and i'm putting all my toys on their original boxes/blisters (alien queen is a pain to put back) 'cause i don't trust nobody.

::sigh:: I didn't even make it through all of the Cat House pictures, but I immediately adored TomCat because of how much in his early years he resembles my lost lovey Tboy, and in maturity is uncannily like my Senor Boo. But maybe that's just my innate mortal weakness for male orange tabbies. Is Benjie the black one? I too was amazed by how much his dimensions confounded basic cat geometry and physics.

I'd been planning to rent the first three seasons of OZ the next time I had some spare DVD-rental money (since I doubt I'll ever get my tapes back, loaned out as they were over a year ago), but now it looks like I may need to look for Home Movies instead. Not like any of the Blockbusters or Hollywood Video stores in my dinky cowtown stock it, of course.

I finally managed to make copies of the Cat IQ Test for your most Holy Esteemed Splutness this afe, and that should get sent out quite soon, after I hunker down with my coloured pencils, Gluestick et.al. and Do What Needs To Be Done otherwise. Operation Cheering Up/Distracting Splutsylvania commencing forthwith...

Jeez, can't you report Problem Bob to someone higher-up than him? Shit, dude, between the Thief and the Drunk, all you need now is The Wife and Her Lover, or however that movie title went.

Oh, and as a postscript to my young Messican friend--after I sent my email the other day I realized that I had walked home totally worrying about the relative safety of a backpacking trip across the U.S. Maybe I'm just poisoned by living here in crime-happy Cali, but I'm really not sure that backpacking across the U.S. in this day and age would be a prudent venture. Anyone else care to weigh in?

Edited by author 05-07-2004 01:06 AM
Spacey:
At first, I thought that "These people are eccentric, but none of them are nuts." Then I thought, "Okay, Inventor Dude, he's nuts." Like when he hypnotizes his girlfriend's organs into thinking they're 20 years old. And, umm, nice dog, dude. Nicely stuffed dog, anyway.

The DVD had some TV ads that started the whole project. They don't seem to be online anywhere (I guess that the company dot-bombed), which is too bad, as they're hilarious. Especially the cat one, with Bernard Benjamin sitting in his litter box. It's hard to say why it's funny, but I think that it's Benjie's priceless face (he's 25 lbs, and has the most round eyes and head I've ever seen on a cat). There's also a small selection of photos of the cats, which are killer for cat fans. Particularly the one with the camera on a timer, catching a pic of the couple in bed with SEVEN kitties sprawled over the bed snoring. Worth the re-rental alone for those bits. (Or the pics from the Tree Lady's Japanese sitcom--she was a hottie back in 1958, but she already had that...mouth crease thing. She looks like a Ghoulamonian Salamander Man, although I suppose that ref will be lost on everyone who doesn't know who Starman is. Which would be everyone)

Quickly...I LOVED the Cat House. But not as much as I love Splut-ness, your very tardy b-day card notwithstanding.

Take as long of a break as you need, son. We'll be here whenever you get back. :::non-snarky hugs:::

Wakboth, you RULE for mentioning TLoG! But that's what I'd think. Being local, 'n all.

M3, it's no wonder I like you, you do the Tomato Nation, too!

And young Zef already knows far too much about why I like *him.*

~Fleeing Lilly, full of lovey nonsense, trying not to miss the dang bus!

I saw Home Movies here in Mpls a couple years ago, and the director was here to introduce it and answer questions at the end. He had a lot of interesting stories about people he interviewed, or wanted to interview, but just didn't make it into the film. One woman was living in a Boeing 737, but her house broke in half before he could visit her. Or people died before he could get to them. He said there was a whole spate of people dying. For some reason it's mostly old people living in eccentric homes.

My favorite part was the guy in the robot house and his slutty girlfriend. I'd love to see that movie again.

You know it's the same guy who directed American Movie, right? He also did American Job, which I haven't seen yet.

I just read your comment above. Take a break if you need it. But you will be missed, is all.

Dear Bill: I need your site.

(But then, I never write anymore. And my friends want me to write again, but I just don't have anything I feel is worth saying. The political situation gets worse every day, to the point where it's unspeakable. And it's like, if people don't see how bad it is, nothing I write is going to change it. And I can't write about my own life without getting too personal.)

Anyway, I check in every day for my dose of Splutty goodness. I'll miss you if you're gone, is all.

Down here we already had the southern bomb. Or the conjealment, I guess. In the past month it snowed white almond blossoms, then it stopped and began snowing pink cherry blossoms, then that stopped and finally out came the GREEN. Dark rich green at the centers of trees and shining emerald green at the edges where the sunlight hits the most directly, all set against the ridiculously vivid blue of the sky.

Take a break if you want to, Bill. Enjoy the white and the pink and the green and the blue. We'll love you all that much more when you come back.
Don't be gone too long, though. I'd be unhappy if you reduced the internet to a pile of bits.

I've been doing the page since 5/97. Seven years is a long time to do anything.
I'm not quitting, but I need to type less. A few years ago I quit updating from June till late September. I'm not going to do that again, but I need to stop until updating no longer seems like an annoying burden. When I don't enjoy writing, it shows in the writing.

I second that emotion, Snard.
Bill - listen! The bomb...it's ticking! Just a few more days and it will be gorgeous fabulous green as far as the eye can see. Peace and no students for 3 whole months!

Just a random message from a fan of the Thoughtviper. I find your page interesting and entertaining, whether you are writing about your life, your cats, your political views, or other crazy sites out there. If it's getting to be too much, then take a break. But please don't give up on it altogether. Without your site, the rest of the internet would lose cohesion and collapse into a pile of bits. I'm certain of this.

And on to another topic. There must be an advanced intelligence embedded in the Google Ads feature. After noticing the Gonterman references, it is now suggesting "Horse DooDoo Gift". How could it tell???!?

Rabbit:
Note that it's "Adam Packbell" looking with amazement through some magic mirror at Daveykins looking at Adam Packbell on his computer with amazement. At what--Davey Crockett and Roll?
There's a chance that Livewire could start sucking in the good way.

Yeah, they brought many a grin for sure. I should really read them again in some of my free time...I think they introduced me to Space Ghost before I'd even seen the show or what it was about...and come to think of it I think that may have been how I came to learn about Bill's page.

Thanks for the laughs!

Aw, you like me! You really like me! Well, my MiSTings, anyway.

Glad to see that someone's getting a grin out of those things. :)

I haven't read Gonterman in a while. But I read a lot of Jen White's misting of them(if I recall correctly), and that just being some of the funniest stuff I had read.

Well, he keeps trying anyway, he gets that much.

Uh, hi there folks. *waves* I just wanted to pipe in with a couple of things. First, I blame Bill for my Gonter-addiction. You and your stupid cute widdle kitties have filled my life with an uncontrollable evil. Second, if you look at the the latest Livewire Latte strip, you'll see that Adam's deep, dark secret is much, much worse than any of us could ever have imagined.

That's right, your not imagining things. He's really Gonterman! I, for one, am shocked.

"Stop Nose Bleeds
Natural agent works quickly and is absolutely safe.
www.firstmilking.com"

hey, why use dust when you can use cow milk?

Unrelated to anything, I stumbled across this and immediately thought of The Cats.

http://tomatonation.com/catlaw.shtml

Minestrone and macaroons. HAH!

Mmmmm, instant scab! The whole family will love it!

Wow, that's a new Google ad record! We already have a product to stop nosebleeds!

"Makes an instant scab," which is probably the only time you'll hear that used as a positive comment.

Also, May Day is coming up!

Much booze, partying in coveralls, sauna, pranks and marching around the city in parade await!

Onwards, International Proletariat and Students (I'm part of the latter...)

Yup, no:2 is an X-Files joke, while no:3 is an anime joke.

No:1 is a reference to the creepy British comedy "The League of Gentlemen", and the apparently addictive "Special Stuff" sold by the local butcher, Hilary Briss, which caused people to get spontaneous nosebleeds. Looky here for more information: http://www.leagueofgentlemen.co.uk/#

the panties reference is a nod to anime, where in most comic relief situations seeing an erotic sight will prompt a nosebleed on the character.

dang, i'm not going near the candy in my own store everz. it's insane, they say a LOT of the candy is toxic. i mean, only viruelas are missing there. but the article is very Tabloid like, wanting to be scary and such.

Wakboth:
The second one is from the X-Files, right?
I had that dream again last night that I was Agent Scully. My nose didn't bleed, though.

Edited by author 04-28-2004 11:47 PM
Is it just me, or does this Google ad in the sidebar make anyone else uncomfortable?
http://ezmiser.com/FurryPets?meta=GoogleAd
Don't worry! They're not made from the fur of dead kittens or puppies! Just the fur of dead rabbits! And they only look dead! It's not creepy at all!

Wakboth:
1) I don't get it.
2) I don't get it.
3) I don't get it.

Nose Note: I used to get spontaneous nosebleeds back when I regularly took antihistamines and worked at the Mall, where they run the dehumidifiers even in the winter. A co-worker had the same thing happen to her; your nostrils get so dried out from the combination that even a sneeze can pop a capillary and let loose the Red Sea.
Vomiting while driving is worse.

I don't know how much of this is fact or just Orange County immigrant-bashing, but here's an article saying that Mexican candy is full of lead. I didn't read all of it; it's like 52,000 words.

The China Ice Festival is surreal and awesome. The Boondocks becoming a TV show, especially an anime style TV show, is even more surreal and awesome.

Most of my knowledge about ancient Greece centers around Sappho, who lived on her own island and wrote eloquent poetry about her love of other women.

"70's surf music all night..."

i would NOT mind this. now i want one of those too.

"3) Have you been seeing panties?"

let my ten minute laugh in front of the customers at the internet cafe i work at attest to your abilities to make people laugh.

About your nose:

1) Have you ever been to Royston Vasey and/or bought "special meats" from a British guy with a big grin?

2) Have you had a little chip removed from your neck?

3) Have you been seeing panties?

4) None of the above?

Bill, I think your bendy Kung-Fu guy is none other than Quentin Tarantino.
Be careful what you put him next to, it could mean spewing arterial geysers and 70's surf music all night...
My god! Your nose!

Edited by author 04-28-2004 12:56 AM
There've been ads for "funny stuff," apparently from all the Cat Town/Tolkien Jokes mentioned over the last week. Which replaced all the somber religious ads from the brief religion discussion the week before. Like way back when the discussion turned to food, and we got all those Atkins things.

Google Ads are weird. I wonder what "maggots eating jaws" will yield.

Edited by author 04-28-2004 12:14 AM
"Ads by Google
Publicity Stunts and Gags
Huge Banners, Fake Pregnancy Tests Full Sized Newspapers Made to Order
FakeNewspapers.Com "

how did we get that to appear on the ads?

Um, as this is a very wide and awesome lair of knowledge.. i was wondering if any of you knew a bit about that myth (i can't remember if it was greek or watehvah) where a dude usually had spiritual travels while asleep on the temple, and one day his wife burnt his body while he was spiriting away, to be with her affair, so women weren't allowed in the temples for a while after that.

Kirk:
Dude, there's a difference between barfing your chocolate milk and
MAGGOTS EATING YOUR JAW!!!!!!!!
AND STUFF!!!!
YEEEEARRRGGHH!

Given Young's Syndrome, I don't view "YEEEARRGHH" from you as much of a criteria for judging whether something is disgusting or not.

The Ralph Bakshi one is cool too.

evilbakshi:I have come. Bow before the Bakshi.

peterjackson:*pulls out his copy of Bakshi's Lord of the Rings, breaks the plastic seal, pulls out reels of film and proceeds to strangle the living fuck out of you*

evilbakshi:You fool! I am not even corporeal yet! You're strangling my Bakshi-Elrond blowup doll.
Uh, don't ask why I have that.

peterjackson:That's fine, then, I'm just warming up for the real kill.
I imagine Tolkie'll wanna be here for the full on monty.

evilbakshi:You have no idea who your dealing with, do you? I am the one who made Elrod into a twisted parody of Dennis Leary. I am the one who Turned Boromir into a Viking! I am the one who aged Aragorn by 250 years!!
You WILL bow before me!

peterjackson:Never!!!!
Do you forget I was the one who turned Frodo into a whimpering, spineless cry baby? I am the one who turned Arwen into a heshe?! I was the one who combated your evil Elrond and made him Agent Smith!? Did you think that was a fluke?! SARUMAN IS DRACULA!!!! YOU CANNOT WIN!!!!

evilbakshi:I MADE GALADRIEL INTO SHE-RA!! YOUR WEAK VERSION ONLY TURNED GREEN AND YELLED!! YOU *FAIL*, FAT MAN!!

Ahahahahahahaha
"You may have her if you bring me a shiny."
"Did I mention the world is round now?"
"Road trip!"
Hee hee. Brilliant!

Heeeeeey, that reminds me of the Middle Earth Sock Puppet Theater: http://www.subreality.com/mespt/
Be sure to read the Frodo and Sam journals, as they are absolute rolling on the floor genius. There are many other good ones too, (some I never got around to reading.)
Also read "On Cristopher Lee's Hot Ass" in the MESPT library.

Zef:
Abbie.

Thought some of you may get a laugh out of this, I sure did!

The Silmarillion in 1000 words:

http://www.livejournal.com/users/camwyn/328358.html

Huh? abbie is from somewhere else?

she looks a bit like the icons in popular or old ages shooting game half life, those icons were very low res and b/w so the game could use them as a stencil when you had to spraypaint a wall for whatever reason.

What's the Cat Town/Abbie the Cat connection?
There's a pic of Abbie, but never a link back. I just reread the Bayeux Tapestry one, and I sure didn't see Abbie there the first time.

The bird skit was just on the other day, shortly before I called to cancel my movie channels. Pinin' for the fjords?

Also, Aqua Teen Hunger Force is now on almost every night at midnight and midnight:15. The first time I saw that I wept quietly and promised my first born to Cartoon Network. Now I just let the tears flow as I am filled with the ATHF rapture every evening.

That is all. *sigh*

psych! everyone forgets it. the meaning of life is to make kitties happy!

The meaning of life is to live.

Or maybe to love. I forget at the moment.

Catte Towne the tapestry episode, my hands-down favorite.
Yea verily I be LOVING IT! Brilliant!

i like the cat with the blue bowl on its head.

Gray, you can't? that's odd.. i thought everyone could. ;)

My favorite joke in Cat Town is in the FAQ, about wearing clothes. This unnamed person who likes cats and likes towns is a genius.

Today I discovered that I can't type and brush my teeth at the same time. Life is a perpetual learning experience.

One of the things I like about Cat Town isn't that it's so funny, but that it's so sweetly funny. No swearing, no mean-spiritedness; you could read them as bedtime stories to little kids ("Do all the voices!") and not only would the child laugh, but so would any adult.

BTW, I'm not dead, I was merely resting. The News has actually updated.

I stumbled across an old message I wrote to Zelda (http://www.livejournal.com/users/lovelyzelda/) back in 2002. I was pretty inspired and sleep-deprived that night. It might give some of you fellow geeks a chuckle. And shouldn't we all be recycling?

"Last night I was reading your site to avoid doing Math homework. Now I'm writing this to avoid finishing a German assignment. School is stupid. They ought to give me a test on das Trio. I could write a sparkling essay about the effects of gin and hooker boots on work relations. It would be an improvement, I think, even if it only gets men to stop living their femininity vicariously through the women around them (all the men in my life seem to want me to wear makeup and dresses and coquette because they can't. AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN.) This site is great. After a period on non-fan-ness I had forgotten what a sewer the Sailor Moon community could be. This place is an oasis. Or maybe just a better kind of sewer. Used to be Sailor Moon was wierd and underground. Now you can't hock a loogie without hitting the image of Usagi's face. And still there's no Trio stuff. They probably WOULD give Fish-Eye a Ken doll body. It's so funny how they dubbed him. You know they weren't even TRYING to hide his real gender. Just gave up trying, I guess. What's more interesting is that they wrote out all the stuff about old chicks vs. young chicks so now we miss cool Hawk-Eye lines like "Fruit tastes best just before it's about to rot."

Edited by author 04-19-2004 07:42 PM
Billy boy, how ya feelin? I spent the weekend con mi sobrina, her baby and their five cats, so of course the Sophster and Beez went nuts smelling my backpack when I got home; even when I got up to pee at 2 a.m., two of the kitties woke up and had to come congregate with me on the toity. Now *that's* kitty love to ameliorate whatever's ailin' ya!

Senor Z, I just sent the email--maybe the last one was too long and that's why it didn't go through? I tried to keep it shorter this time, in any case.

For the 1 or 2 of you who read my LJ (http://www.livejournal.com/users/rembrandt13), now you know where I got two of my icons--straight outta Cat Town in all its fluffy goodness! That page never fails to make me smile.

Cat Town is pure comedy genius...it always makes me laugh.

I came across this somewhere, it's apparently where all the characters came from:

http://members.jcom.home.ne.jp/2110342001/.../english/index.html

Hey, that's Mayor Sailor Suit Cat from Cat Town!
(Which has a couple of new episodes up)

http://www.petoffice.co.jp/catprin/images/pop_sailor_l.jpg

WOO CUTENESS

BILL HOPE YOU GET WELL SOON ;_; doesn't kitty love help with cold?

Scientology is complete crap and not even by a GOOD sci fi author, and the people who buy into it, especially the celebs, deserve to have all their money drained. Gah.

/rant

Maybe Bill is the lesser anime fan between us?

One of the ads refers to a discussion about Scientology and how it relates to religions of the East and West. *Snort* I don't even have a clever remark to make about that. Except maybe "Scientology sucks."

Speaking of geekiness, I recently bought the uncut Japanese 1st season of Sailor Moon 'cause it was 50 bucks. It's been years since I watched this show, but I still got choked up at the part where the senshi's ghosts come back and put their hands on Sailor Moon's wand. *Sigh* Such a nerd am I.

That realization came to me at more or less the same time, i think. i got a $13 shirt of The punisher. hey, it'll be cool to wear it at the movie premiere. i never sold Gimli figures while i was at the toy store..

Zef, I'll re-send the dang email--sorry about that! And Bill, your bday card continues to emerge slowly (and other reasons why I *really* should stick to collage and/or abstract art).

Yay! Stuff about movies I'll probably never see! And in an ephemerally related vein...when I went to Toys R Us on Sat. to satisfy my Midge jones, I was looking at the LOtR action figures and found myself thinking, "You know, the proportions on Gimli are all wrong in comparison with Aragorn." And then I realized it was past time for me to declare myself geekified beyond all reason.

Pah! If it was a dream you had, you'd understand it.

Now that I've had the movie explained to me, it makes even less sense.

Edited by author 04-11-2004 10:07 AM
Kiru: Well, it's intended to be open to a certain amount of interpretation, but I think there are some definite things you can say about it.

If you're planning to watch the movie, here be SPOILERS.

Edit: for those of you just joining the discussion, the movie is Revolutionary Girl Utena

See, basically, pain is symbolized by insects. I think the first time we see insects is during Touga's traumatizing flashback. I also think Shiori is sort of a human insect, the embodiment of suffering. Micky's twin also serves that function. Self-delusion, or the beautiful illusions people hide in to escape painful reality, is symbolized by red roses (Anthy's ethereal garden), castles (the place Anthy says all your dreams come true), water (every time Utena talks to Touga, there's water involved), and anything that has to do with princes or princesses.

Just before the dance in the stars, when Utena's breaking down, insects are buzzing around one of the lamps. She's saying "Touga left me, I have nothing, there's no such thing as a prince" and at the moment, reality is too terrible for her to face. So what does Anthy do? Does she help Utena solve her problem? No. She creates a beautiful illusion (using water).

The elevator scene is where Utena starts facing the truth. It turns out that the Touga we've been watching all movie is nothing more than a fantasy. The real Touga's been dead for years. Utena has to let him go, or else she'll drown.

The car chase:
Okay, so, in the beginning, Anthy is doing fine. But then an insect car shows up. Fortunately she's able to deal with it, and goes about her way. But then MORE insect cars show up, way more than she can deal with, and she would be destroyed if not for having friends to help her out.
So then she gets to the fantasy castle. At first she thinks it's the way out, but then realizes it's a trap. Wedged between the pain cars and the fantasy tank, she decides to take the road less traveled, and faces down her brother. Now, it's important to remember that this isn't really Akio. Like Touga, he's been dead for years. Of course, in Anthy's case it's a much bigger deal than for Utena. Utena only imagined her prince back to life. Anthy took her real brother, who was an evil rapist, and tranformed him in her mind to a perfect prince. When she admits the truth, all her illusions collapse, and she's free.

M3: No, the cd case is just a red herring.

As to Utena...I dunno. I don't believe it's something you can "get" on the first watching, but I could just be dense. It's taken me many viewings and reviewings of the film, the show, and the manga to even feel like I've got a vague grasp on it.

And yes, TV Anthy should be slapped, hard and often.

It's my opinion that the style of 2001 was a direct influece on the Utena film-makers, though. There are other similarities, like the use of loud, painful noise during stressful moments (When the astronauts find the second monolith, when Utena sees Anthy's wound) and sudden absolute silence at suspenseful moments (When HAL is about to murder whatsisname, just before the dance in the stars.)

The stories aren't really similar. 2001 is about evolution (I won't go into that. There's a really good essay about it on this page: http://www.modemac.com/2001/) while Utena is about self-delusion vs. facing reality. But the style of the endings is very similar, completely abstract and symbolic.

I LOVE movie Anthy. I kept wanting to slap TV Anthy upside the head.

I watched Utena movie too..... I can KIND of see a comparison with 2001 with the whole 'what is life? Our own or a plaything of the gods' metaphor... except 2001 wasn't patent fangirl masturbation fodder. The whole concept of escaping imprisonment in an artificial world, fair enough, very Matrixy...
But I'm with Bill. Nice design, but what the hell were the writers drinking? Yay, the future is SO bright and cheery when you're two naked women riding through an apocalyptic wasteland on a bare wheelbase.

I also hated the character re-designs they did for this movie ;). Anthy with LONG straight hair and bereft of her virtuous nature. Grrrr....

Kiru - I got out, but is there a point to the empty CD case? It's a nagging puzzle in the back of my head. I wish there was another room already, it was fun.

See, that's the response I always get! Maybe I'm some kind of mutant, but I understood Utena perfectly the first time I saw it, just like 2001: A Space Odyssey, except I didn't cry at the end of 2001. If you want a symbol by symbol analysis, I'd be happy to share. Just give the word.

Of course, I still don't know what the hell happened in Lost Highway, and would be delighted to find out.

M3: yes.

Bill: You see, the moving chalkboards/school buildings represent the constantly shifting face of aggregate demand, swayed by seemingly invisible forces. The Duelists represent the empowered Keynesian economists, who are all fighting over fiscal success, represented by the Rose Bride. The incest represents...um...the close relationship between big business and government, and they turn into cars because...

Okay, you got me. I don't know why they turn into cars.

Anyone here play/beat The Crimson Room?

Kiru:
Well, it sure was interesting to look at. And it was also--
No, wait. That was it.

Yay, Revolutionary Girl Utena! That's just about my favoritist movie ever. Only I think the first couple times you have to watch it in Japanese without subtitles. That way you don't get the false impression that it's supposed to make any sense at all.

After that it's a really good metaphor for, say, Keynsian economics. Or basically anything else. It's a lot like Alice In Wonderland that way.

Nuu! i didn't get it. i wonder everyday about that, y'know.

About madrid, and possible terrorist targets.. i shouldn't talk about it, or my ip might get targeted by the FBI. *shifty eyed look*

nah, still, it bothers me that i don't get enough info about that on our news. and that the take down must have been so badly planned that they had time to blow up. how can we know they didn't get away and just left some bodies behind?

Yes, I saw the video of the fat kid behind Bush--I thought it was funny, and also interesting that at first they were claiming he was spliced into the footage, but later on he was proven to have actually been there (he was the son of the SoCal Republican committee head or something). Definitely a classic. I'm always well chuffed when conservatives are suitably mocked by circumstances.

Speaking of ideology, in regards to the religious question...I was raised non-denominational Christian, but owing to a Mormon-convert brother and a painful high school schism with friends who turned self-aggrandizingly Baptist, I became virulently, noisily atheist for a long time.

Now, however--and according to that online quiz re: spiritual beliefs--I pretty much balance out as a secular humanist with Unitarian, Hindu and Buddhist overtones. I just believe in personal morality, like basic human decency (oh, like, being helpful and not lying or being an asshole), just not the fascist tenets of fundamentalism (actually, get me on the topic of fundies and I get a whole lot *less* secular humanist, more aggro reactionary...gotta work on that).

Zefster, I was talking to my dad about the Madrid bombers the other night, and how I don't think that the U.S. necessarily needs to beef up security on our trains; we Yanks are so obsessive about having our own cars that public transportation isn't utilized here nearly as much as in Europe (when I lived in the UK I rarely missed having a car), so I'd see far more of a possible terrorist target being, say, the 405 in L.A. at rush hour. If their sick objective is to take out as many people as possible, any U.S. freeway at commute time would be a *huge* target, alas.

PS: did you ever get my email? Sorry if I said anything that came across offensively, as I know my sense of humor doesn't always translate adequately online. :(

The last time i was trick or treating with my cousins i had arrived from high school and hadn't changed from regular PE uniform of sweatpants and such, and one smart woman was all 'and what are you dressed as' and i was all 'your midlife crisis!' it worked.

See? I totally gave it away. Too easy. Yes, that was me. I steal candy from little kids. ACtually, i believe that was the last year I dressed up for Halloween, and I only did it because i was taking my little brother out (he's 11 years younger than me). I was the invisible man. I think I have a blurry, creepy picture somewhere of it...I'll look around.

I was actaully kind of embarrassed that you used what I wrote...I sorta figured you would want to add something, I dunno, funny to it. :D

Oh oh oh! have y'all seen that video of bush givin a speech and that fat kid behind him just going all wacky? have you?

Don't the terrorists in madrid blowing themselves up piss you off to no end? they do that to me.

canary:
Eat More?

A hint? you want a hint? well, there's not too much I can say that won't totally give it away. But, if you go to my website you can find my first name. adn if you find the InExOb my name is there, too. Although that was before I got married, so my last name is different and you won't find that anywhere.

See, it's a scavenger hunt! And it'll make you review the InExObs, which are still good for a laugh.

Zef: ok, I didn't mean to bite back. let's be friends. :)

Okay, okay, consider yourself amused. I threw a tiny (but amusing) bit of filler on The News.
You got someone "turned on" to the InExOb? Far out 'n' funky, maaan! Groovy! Hey, man, you got any Fritos? I could eat like a whole bag of Fritos right now.*

canary:
C'mon, give us a hint. About your InExOb. Let's see who figures it out first (and no peeking!)

*Joke I used in Tod Holton. But aren't we all supposed to be recycling?

I have turned someone else on to the InExOb. Yes yes. No vacation no, you have to be here to amuze us.

Atheist, jewish heritage, raised methodist, wanna be a buddhist but I'm not nice enough.

MSTing going as well as can be expected, considering fans see fit to write about a 60 year old guy raping the 16 year old girlfriend of his adoptive/foster son who lives in his basement. But it brought the tru luve4eva couple closer together in the end. And the brilliant line "The birds kept eating all the olives." :)

Note to all:
I'm taking a few vacation days from work, and I think I'll take a vacation from the page as well. Check back Monday. Maybe.

Oh, whoa, hey. i didn't meant to be rude. i said sorry in advance. i was in a hurry, and later i thought of more appropiate phrases and such. it just struck me as odd, that all. so, yes i guess i went overboard.

Eating just lettuce and such has proved itself evil. a couple somewhere in amerika were jailed because their baby was starving, they were feeding her just nuts and soy milk, she was near death.

"going for replay value"

Well, there's no need to be rude. Naturally it sprang from that movie, in that I was part of an argument with someone about the usefulness of eating McDonald's for all your meals because that's not normal. He claimed it would be just as detrimental to your health if you ate nothing but lettuce and tofu for every meal. If you're interested, the argument can be found here: http://www.upsizethis.org/forum/viewtopic....storder=asc&start=0 The purpose of my experiment was to see if eating two meals a week (the norm in Amreica, according to Fast Food Nation) would be similarly detrimental.

So there.

GAAAH. I am evil and correct everyone. GAAAH


Debbie-I guess I would be called an atheist, but that doesn't seem strong enough for me. Skeptic? Scientologist? ;)

I am looooosely catholic. i don't dig mass. i know most bible passages anyway.


Here's my self promotion: (self promotion! woohoo!) I'm conducting an experiment on the effect of eating fast food.

But.. wasn't that guy who was dying from eating McD's for a month doing that? going for replay value? sorry. good luck!

Y'know, I edited that "titles of the Comments" post to put in some damn quote marks, and yet I missed this classic sentence:
"from where the title of the last Newest came from"
I need a job where I get paid by the from.

debbieb:
One of the central rules of my life is "Things that don't affect me don't affect me." Abortion, gay marriage, 99% of all religions, NASCAR are things that don't affect me. It's only when someone tries to force their religious beliefs on me that I push back. It's the fundamentalists that I despise, not the religious.
Imagine the reaction from the "Religious Right" if the Orthodox Jews became powerful enough to get the government to force circumcisions on everyone...How quickly would they demand seperation of Church and State then?

canary:
April Fool!
There were a lot of guest hosts. I think I went with that for 3 weeks solid once. Can you give us a hint?
Good luck eating that toxic shit!

Here's something interesting. I have no religion, but I do believe in reincarnation. And I have reasons.

Edited by author 04-01-2004 11:21 PM
Wakboth:
They're all song lyrics.
"By pressing down a special key, it plays a little melody!"
Kraftwerk, "Pocket Calculator"
"We have to shout to be heard above the din of our Rice Krispies"
The Police, "Synchronicity II"
"Speed and machines are the Art of our Empire"
Bill Nelson, "Art-Empire-Industry" (also from where the title of the last Newest came from)
I was going to exclusively use 80s lyrics, but this month's is from Jefferson Airplane's "White Rabbit."

Who's this April, and why are we on her comment page?

Bill- Sorry, no, I'm not Speedy. Actually, I was a guest contributor.

Debbie-I guess I would be called an atheist, but that doesn't seem strong enough for me. Can I be called a super-Athiest? I don't believe in God, the devil, angels, fate, karma, spirituality, an overriding sense of purpose, heaven, sin, earth-mother-goddess, praying, or miracles. I'm a damn dirty engineer and I believe in science, baby.

Here's my self promotion: I'm conducting an experiment on the effect of eating fast food. You can read my b(oring)log and play along, if you're interested. There are pictures!
http://canary.netfirms.com

i'm not familiar with gonterman at all (other than what i've seen here) and it seems as though he may have taken the comic right out of comic strip.

just curious - we all know that Bill is an atheist. i myself am a southern baptist. (uh oh - is that gonna get me banned from the site?!) anyone else care to comment on your beliefs?

To celebrate the new month, and to spoil the pristine grey background of the comments thread, I'll ask a question:

Where do the comment thread names come from? (I could google, but this is more fun.)