And who're you calling vacuous?

I am the reigning Queen of Vacuity. It's been said that whenever I look to the south, giving my profile to the wind, it will gust in one ear and out the other and within no time people in Toronto are being blown around by what might have been in my mind. The effect is staggering.

If I were both vacuous and vain, I'd have said "blown away."

Edited by author 11-03-2005 09:31 PM
If you were really a fact checker you'd know that I'm practically a hermit, that I live in a small hole with three young boys and a dog, and that I have no personal agenda. What personal agenda are you referring to? The one about getting dinner on the table before soccer practise?

K

speaking of dogs...

OK, I admit that posting a picture of my dog was inappropriate, but I thought that a little levity was in order and a puppy is always a useful diversion.

Edited by author 11-15-2005 11:19 AM
John Lennon's teacher cashes in

Lennon's school teacher apparently saved his art notebook. Prescient. But where's Yoko? Isn't a family member going to sue? Come on, people.

John Lennon's old school book is to be sold at auction - and is expected to fetch more than £90,000.

I'll never throw another drawing by my boys out again.

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Vinter Vunderlund

We got dumped on here in Toronto last night. Only a few inches -- should be nothing, really. But everyone loses their cool for the first couple snows. They forget all their training. Yank readers might think we're a hardy people, and we are, but we really just have to ease into it. So, I have to tell you what I saw this morning, it was so Manhattan. Outside the offices of some private law firm on Dupont (you know the type, Yuppy, Yuppy, and McYupplestein) there was a high-maintenance blonde secretary type shovelling the steps in spiked heels. She had the kind of beauty only money can buy, the kind that conceals any natural beauty under a thick mask of bought beauty. It's like Saran Wrap for beauty. Anyway, she had kid leather gloves and held the shovel with her pinkies out and a look of bewildered disgust on her face. Oh. My. God! What. Is. All. This. White. Shit. On. The. Steps!? The best part though, was that the twit was shovelling the steps from the bottom up, effortfully lifting each scoop with shaky anorexic arms and dumping it over the side of the wrought iron railing. Now that's not about Canada or the US or anything other than a very stupid person out of her element (that element being sun). I almost felt sorry for her. Then I remembered that her outfit was probably worth more than the snow tires I just put on the car. It's those kinds of things that absolve me of displaying any compassion or humanity towards rich folk.


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Yeah...this bitch had to move to Toronto because the rents in Manhattan are too fucking high! It's amazing what a coke high can do...otherwise, you know she would have paid some poor illegal immigrant a dollar...a Canadian dollar(!) to do it.

Heck, my mirror cracked right up today. Bring on that Saran Wrap.

Edited by author 12-09-2005 12:15 PM
Not exactly sure who you are, but try logging in under your own alias and posting whatever you'd like. This one is reserved for the site administrators. The password will be changed today.

G

Edited by author 12-09-2005 04:53 PM
Her name's Yvonne. She's from South Porcupine. And that look is "I thought my shovelling days were done when I left South Porcupine!" It's a ritual at Yuppie, Yuppie and McYupple ever since old Clarence Yuppie bragged that business was so good, he could hire prostitutes to do his shovelling - and only have them do the shovelling.

Edited by author 12-12-2005 02:53 PM
I love secrets

Frank Warren has been collecting other people's secrets for years and now he's published a book of them, PostSecret : Extraordinary Confessions from Ordinary Lives; so much for friends.

In what began as a community art project, Warren persuaded legions of strangers to write down their deepest secrets on postcards and mail them to him. Now a year later, he's collected more than 10,000 cards.

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Edited by author 12-15-2005 12:08 PM
Mr Bean is the reincarnation of AA Milne

An obscure and long forgotten Milne has been republished. Oh, joy. Oh, small joy. It's a collection of short stories for adults entitled The Sunny Side. This one The Guardian has published is the written equivalant of a Mr Bean episode. These are great festive tricks to entertain your guests with over the hols.

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It's a pleasant surprise to find a sanctury from all that modern inane garbage they call music.