canary:
You were in the InExOb? If you're 6 inches high with a huge head, that'd make you Speedy. If you buggered a deer, you'd be Sodomy the Lawn Gnome.
I'm hoping for the first one.

I've nothing for The News tonight. For an easy transition, here's April's comments page. Feel free to continue any threads there.

debbieb:
"I don't get it. Does he have a purpose? Was I supposed to be amused?"
I'm not sure if you mean whether you should be amused by him or by me pointing him out. But, no both ways. He used to be much more entertaining, but then he switched from one brain-med to another. Gone were his angular and angry drawings about Sonic and Sailor Moon. Now, we get these warm&fuzzy big-eyed dullathons like in the link. It takes 6 strips done over the course of weeks to let us know that Daveykins Adam Packbell drinks a lot of caffeine, and that cross-town traffic is light. Crimeny. Whatever happened to those glory days of murdering the MST3K crew with his Space Blimp?

"Adam Packbell." Anyone want to bet that those are derived from the names of Davey's first computer, and his latest? A simple twist of fate in the past, and he might have been called "Commodore Applintosh." "Tandy Dell." "Sinclair Hew le Tard."

Art:
As for tannins, as I read your post I was drinking a glass of red wine, and that doesn't make me puke. The caffeine thing is all I can come up with, and so far I puke a lot less. It's probably less monocausal than I think, but I'm going with what works for now.

Even stranger is that there are seagulls as far inland as Colorado. I think they were at a rest area off of I-70 ... can't quite remember. Poor things... hope they don't sue the fast food establishments for their weight problems. Perhaps they should stick to the coasts and the fishes.
Nahh... that's a far fly for fish.

"Give me convenience or give me death." -Jello Biafra

Too late for the gulls, supersizing be gone by the time evolution kicks in... I was puzzling why I saw flocks of gulls over the parking garage across the street from me. I'm only about 10 miles or so from the ocean, but still, if I were a gull and as lazy as I was a human, why bother moving inland? I recently found about a mile away (further from the ocean) was a GIANT park with a huge lake/fountain in it... and swarming flocks of gulls. Mystery solved.

Except some of the gulls were distinctly pink. Hrm...

Bill the Splut said: '... He doesn't even grasp the simplest concept of a comic strip: "Give them a reason to read the next one." '

But of course, he's given us all plenty of reasons to read the next one. I.e. "how stupid will he be THIS time?"

Maybe he really digs all of the negative criticism.

"...like it rained dead zebras on the Serengeti."

This made me laugh hysterically. In fact, I never weighted in on the how I foudn this place...I, too, found it through the InExOb. I believe it was linked in one of Yahoo's Cool Links sections. I used to read it at work and I would start laughing so hard I had to go to the bathroom so my coworkers wouldn't know I was screwing around reading the internet and not working. I found it before it ended...In fact I'm in there. Anyone want to guess who I am?

Gonterman - I don't get it. Does he have a purpose? Was I supposed to be amused?

We have trash gulls here too - almost 7 hours from the nearest beach. They all live together in the parking lot of an empty grocery store and you do not want to get caught outside your car with anything resembling food. The movie The Birds come to mind when these things start thinking they are gonna get fed.

(some googling later)....Ah HA!
Bill - a thought on Young's Syndrome. Have you considered it might not be the caffeine, but the tannin? Tannin retards digestion and is present in both coffee and tea. I can't find anything on allergies to tannin, so it might not be something the doctors have considered? In your case, tannin may be doing its job too well....
Something to look into, maybe?....

http://babesagainstbush.com/
It's nice to see people using nekkidness for good instead of evil.

OK, some questions for the Ani interviewer from a third party: (A) Is it true you dont like audience participation when you sing your songs in concert? (which it IS. she tells people to shut up, this is why I refuse to see her in concert) (B) Ask her who some of her favorite artists shes worked with are. (C) How she went about starting her own record label, Righteous Babe Records (D) Why she didnt participate in Lilith Fair

Bill... um... in that first panel... what species and what sex are those things?!?!!? DAYUMN. I gotta get caught up on Gonty.

Zef:
Byron's a bit blue around the edges in certain lights. He was photographed late afternoon in very direct, very bright sunlight. Usually, in coloration he lives up to the name he had before I adopted him: "Dustball."

M3:
Self-promotion is allowed here. Feel free to include the link to your LJ. (If you want. I found it already)

Wakboth:
Yes, it has, but I may be full of it. I Googled "caffeine allergy," and found out that there's no mention of vomiting, and the symptoms resemble severe schizophrenia. Other info is sparse. It seems from the article that general craziness results when you keep pounding coffee regardless of what your body tells you, so maybe I quit at the right time. I'm not making yet more doctor's appointments unless it comes back, but I'm laying off the caffeine anyway.

Gonterphiles/phobes:
It's amazing that he still seems to think that he's going to someday make a living doing...whatever it is he's doing. He doesn't even grasp the simplest concept of a comic strip: "Give them a reason to read the next one." If it's a humor strip, the last panel should be a joke. If it's a drama strip, it should be a mild cliffhanger.
Start here and click through a few and see what I mean. What happens? Nothing!!! It's the strip version of someone trying to tell a story by saying "It was Wednesday, and I was going to the grocery store--wait, no, I go to the grocery store on Tuesdays, so it was a Tuesday--anyway, like this guy's car comes out of nowhere and I'm--wait, no, I had to work that Tuesday, so it was Wednesday, and--no, wait, I went to the laundromat, not the grocery store, so...Wait. It was Thursday. Because, Thursdays, I always get a raisin bagel at the bagel store--Have you been there? The have these really great raisin bagels! Anyway, this guy hits my car and I get thrown into the steering wheel--wait, it was a raisin cinnamon bagel..."
zzzzzzzzzzzzz...

ooooh, non T7S fans friending me in my brandynew (and sad) LJ would be so cool.... I'm _m3_ because m3 and _m3 were taken and my friend signed me up for it although I've boycotted those bastards for a few years now. *sigh* I have CSI:Miami Icons there, Lilly Joe... *wiggles cat treat temptingly*

Edited by author 03-30-2004 09:02 PM
They just *had* to name that kitty Lilly, didn't they? Hey, I'm not neutered or spayed, but I don't spray either, dammit! (Any other promises of good behavior are specious at best.)

Otherwise, me be with much love for the kitty pix from alls 'n sundry. Zef, dunno why I thought you had a black girl cat--clearly my aged brain is in further rapid decay. M3, remember, the RC Clone is now Monsieur VitesseDeux *seulement*!

A quasi-panicked appeal to any this might concern (this'll be in my LJ too)--are there any Ani Difranco fans around? See, my niece has to meet and interview her this weekend, and so far I've only come up with one good question for her to ask. I'll check back later to see if anyone's got any ideas, cos right now Shannon and I are pretty much coming up snake eyes, though I'm actually here dans la bibliotheque to do research for her (see, I gets all noivis about mi espanol w/a native speaker in the bunch, which causes the reversion to francais instead. Frickin PC, how do you make that little squiggly notation on this anyway?)

Bill, your b.d. card proceedes apace. Don't say I didn't warn you, but Daveykins is gonna look like Leonardo da Vinci (or I'll just seem like DiCaprio?) once you get a gander at my attempts to draw. And *other* reasons why I've always found my forte to be abstract art and collage...

*arm shoots up in air* Gonterman Squad Lt Art Slave checking in! (Negaduck is General ;))
Me me me! Though I'm not a 'fan'...Gontie DOES have 'fans', but they're the sort of people who have pudding for brains and very low standards. I am more an....Observer. Yesssss... *steeples fingers together, rotates chair around*

Yyyyup. Looks like chocolate mousse on the surface, but one dig of the spoon reveals the crap is still there.
I think he has honed his coping mechanism to just ignoring any outside opinion and withdrawing into a little 'I am but a lowly dreamer. So was Walt' world.
Walt was at least smart enough to hand his characters over to some COMPETENT artists ;p.

That reminds me, Negaduck, I MUST finish Mysting Night Soldiers....*I* wish he'd update MYstic Mice, you can't BUY that kind of grandeur-delusion! <laugh>

Ahem. Sorry, didn't mean to stir up the anthill on Gonty! I do enjoy reading his stuff because like Zef said, it makes me feel better about MY writing and frankly my life and attitude towards it. Heh. Gonterman - Living Reverse Psychology! Frankly I find it fascinating how he functions on a basic human level.

And really, one should never ever have to utter the sentence "Well she's a sex robot boydguard sidekick that's also part rabbit with ears and a tail and she wears the old Playboy Lounge style costume ALL the time." Or explain "Um, I think that's one incaration of the author in the hologram talking to the animal-suited-symbiotic incarnation of the author about something yet another incarnation of the author did while he was married to Sailor Moon? Maybe?"

Our own MSTing project for 70s Show is going great, I can't believe the nice reaction we've been getting, and a huge list of requests to MST. It's very fun. I've got just the sort of random brain to MST and move on. I re-read it later and don't remember half the stuff attributed to me :) No short term memory! "The birds kept eating the olives." Ole!

I did stop in for this reason - A four eared cat! http://www.cnn.com/2004/TECH/science/03/26...ten.reut/index.html

Davey-kins can revamp his site using all the neatoriffic templates he wants. He can repackage his works however much he wants, but it still remains the same old crap. Scarlet PI is just his years-old Foxfire comic. And even when he adds new material to his site, it's still rehashings of the old stuff. Still got Scarlet in some guise; still got a Gonty self-insertion; still got Jonathan Brisby, who isn't a copy of the NIMH character but an homage to Mickey Mouse, honest.

It's almost enough to make me miss Night Soldiers. *almost*.

I can only read The Gont if it's MSTed.

Edited by author 03-30-2004 11:24 AM
I miss one single night (we haven't paid phone bill at home) and teh good stuff happens.

So is gonter reusing scarlet the zoot for that comic? i had the idea of starting a wager about what animal ears will have the next creation of his.

I sort of like reading him, when i'm reading it, it makes me feel better about my own horrible art, but afterwards (and this can lasts sometime, so it sorta affects when i draw) i get this horrible feeling i could end up like him.

BYRON IS TEH SPECIAL CUTENESS IN FUR! awesome eyes. does his fur always have that bluish tints? if so, how uber cool.

Bill: Are you cutting back on caffeine, and if so, has there been any progress w. Young's Syndrome? (Progress defined here as good progress!)

Great, from His site: "Sentient costumes that share their lives with their human hosts which wear them. The main character is one such costume, referred to as a Zoot. Her name is Scarlet FoxFire, a vixen detective who chose a budding cartoonist named Jim Goodlow as her host."

The drawing looks like a female fox wearing Gonterman's clothes *shudder* and of course, he continues to spread the impression that furry slash cartoonists are well adjusted people.

M3:
Verdammt! I almost included the bit you quoted on my link, but my brain read it as "Whether or" not "Whatever of." That's what I get for just assuming Davey has a brain.

DVK is hard to describe. "It's like porn with his ego as the object of masturbation, as directed by an Ed Wood without the talent" was the best I ever did. In the Real World, I don't know anyone who can stand even a few pages of him. And the online consensus isn't much better.
Show of hands? Who here "likes" (in the relative sense) reading Gontercrap?
(Bill holds up hand)

Edited by author 03-29-2004 08:59 PM
"Whatever of not I'm successful depends on what day it is and who you ask..."

I tried explaining DaveyKinsFoxFireKintobarPackbellGonterman to someone the other day in instant message. I think I came off more insane than he did. Really, consider explaining to someone who he is and what he does and how he does it. Go on. Try it.

Editing to add for LillyJoe: I wanted to say before we get a new comments for April, everytime I click in here, the title gets me "Speed...." it's like it was a little reminder of RC. :) Which is nice.

LaGrey:
Thanks! Your mentions of "Live Nude Girls" and "lubricated dildo" should get us some interesting Google ads.

I don't know if Netflix has it, but the documentary Live Nude Girls Unite is really good.

Marc:
Well, I see why he's called Wooly!
If they have NetFlix in Canada, they've got about 15 DVDs of MST3K. Almost entirely of the Mike years, however.

Mimi:
I haven't seen any, really, of the Sci-Fi ones. I still think the series lost some of its basic dynamic when Joel left. I thought it worked better with 2 wisecrackers and a wiser personality as a moderating influence than it did with 3 wisecrackers. Like a dad and his kids, rather than 3 frat boys.

Kiru:
I have Dr. T on VHS somewhere.
I remember when my whole third grade saw it in the school auditorium. Everybody HATED it. It was just too damn weird for our little minds.
Within a few years I'd be too damn weird for the rest of my grade, but that's another story.

DANA-NANA-NANA-NANA, BATSPLUT!

ah, that Stanley Kubrick link was cool. I wanna be an obsessive packrat when I grow up...more so.

As to the Ferd'nand, it reminds me of this early 50's Dr. Seuss film, "The Five Thouasnd Fingers of Dr. T," where the kid is mixing all the things from his pockets (marbles, slingshot, bubble gum, live frog, etc.) in an old paint can in order to make a sound-dampener that will stop Dr. T's fiendish piano stylings, and the plumber turns to him and gives the paint can the look that Ferd'nand has in the last panel and says, "Watch out! A mixture like that could be...ATOMIC!"

That's a Netflix rental right there, if you've not seen it.

Woo! LAZER eyes!

http://24.138.4.101/ottawa/040301/100_0041.JPG

That's a pic of Wooly, he's a pretty able fella. Probably around 16 LB or so. He has the four "regular toes" plus two on the sort-of-inside of each paw, which have retractable claws too, plus another toe-pad between them which is just a pad with a claw with no bone or anything in it.

As for ferd'nand, I dunno. maybe he's mixed bleach and ammonia together and is irritated by the fumes? I have no idea...makes no sense whatsoever.

I wish we could get MST3K up here...

Since i'm the insufferable who has to give an explanation to everyting (and hey, i'm an attention whore too!) here's my two cents.

I think i've seen what happens to Ferd here. you start mixing a little of two colors to make a third, you don't like it, add more of one, more of the other, then you get the color you want. and a whole lot of it. hey, just happened to me, painting a F-4 airplane model.

Calvin and Hobbes made the same joke, only more masterfully.

I think that Ferd'nand is about the cartoonist's life-long hobby of huffing paint fumes. 'Splains a lot, really.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.
Kiitttyyyyyy!!! *basks in the pink*

About Ferd:
Maybe he's angry because he wasted so many minutes of his precious, fleeting life mixing paint? I thought perhaps I could make a poor taste joke about a lubricated dildo, but it falls apart after the second panel.

Yeah, MSTing That 70s Show. They had a few characters that were really decent to use as reviewers, especially since the fans only write about the Hawt!Young!Cast, not even the adults in the cast. I came up with an idea that the incidental characters and guest stars from the last six years all kinda gather and draw straws to MST each story, so I can have a changeup when the comments are better suited to one character than another. :) I don't think I did a great job on my first one, but I'm still getting into it. I just hope I don't disgrace the art form! lol.... I should see if I can download some eppys of MST3K to brush up.

Edited by author 03-26-2004 02:46 PM
I am not the least bit surprised at Wham! the musical - there's been Abba and Footloose and Boy from Oz... it's amusing that George Michael thinks the idea sucks ;)

I'm with you, Bill, the Pearl Forrester era of MST3K blew hairy goats eggs compared to the Mads. I still love Mike and the Bots, though - c'mon, 'Riding with Death' and some of the later seasons had some of their best stuff!
"hey, it's Mickey and he's wearing pants today!"....(Screaming Skull)

Zefiel:
"Geez, you didn't want to taste a gummi of a rat on a toilet. here we have gummies shaped like fried eggs and like dentures. is that better?"

At least those things are supposed to go in your mouth.

I came for the Sisto. I stayed for the yams.

I bought a Wham CD. It lulls me into braindead so I can sleep when I get home.

I have become a caffeine whore again. Half Millstone Chocolate Velvet and half Folgers hazelnut decaf means I don't die on the way to work. which is great as long as he still feeds me and I don't have to shell out for coffee ground from beans which must be made of fucking PLATINUM.

THREE WEEKS FROM TODAY WILL BE MY FIRST DAY OFF SINCE FEBRUARY 22. WHEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Art:
2 states away? I thought you were in Minnesota or something.
You might find this amusing: WHAM, The Musical.

M3:
Keep us posted about the MySTings. Who are the "three 'guest/recurring guest' stars of the show"? Which show? That one about the 70s?

Marc:
SEVEN toes? Dang! Any pics you want to share?
Everyone told me, "Wait until Byron grows into those paws!" Well, DAMN, the paws keep growing! He's going to be the size of a freakin' camel at this rate! How big is Wooly? The size of a mammoth?
I have a clock that's a Nova Scotia map! How interesting is THAT! Not much, I bet!

Hi Bill,

I've been reading for around 3 or 4 years, and I can't really remember what brought me specifically, but I know it was one of the Inexplicable Objects. I am sure if I were to sit and look I'd find it. Then I started reading your daily writings and really enjoyed them. I've always been kind of shy replying though...

I almost replied to the first posts about Byron, as we have a polydactyl cat too...wooly has 7 pads on each of his front paws, he looks a bit like Byron too. They're apparently quite common here in Nova Scotia, and the story goes that Ernest Hemingway was in Nova Scotia, and saw one of these multi-toed cats, and took it to his estate in the Florida Keys. He figured it'd be a superior mouser. Now the place is overrun with polydactl cats, and they trace their roots back to here.

Well, that was a piece of trivia, I guess...

Marc in Cape Breton

Edited by author 03-25-2004 08:38 PM
It is a toilet, i couldn't think of anything more splut-like than his syndrom. and as to the water rat, i think it's too tall to fit and be seen properly. but i'll accept more suggestions.

Geez, you didn't want to taste a gummi of a rat on a toilet. here we have gummies shaped like fried eggs and like dentures. is that better?

I just had a thought. It would be cool if the front of Batsplut's leotard had a rat on a toilet on it.

Another movie recommendation, Pump Up the Volume, which I saw today for the first time in years and still loved.

I'm not sure why, but lately I find myself inspired to haunt this board.

Boo.

Today someone named Robert Redford mailed me an environmental petition. In the enclosed letter it states, "Too many Americans are unaware that the Bush Administration has been waging a sweeping attack on our environmental laws and natural heritage." I agree, but why was this sent to me? I'm not part of any political groups or organizations. I haven't put my name on any lists. Who is this Robert Redford person, and why does he know my innermost secrets?

i got your web page from a friend.

Lilly - Dude, I promise to send you George completely absolutely untouched if you send me even a slightly used Warrick (um, Gary his real name?)

LOVE the kitty pictures. That clock hammers away for about a minute until I remind myself if I get a pet, it'll be a chinchilla, NOT a cat. Right. Really. No, seriously. And as always, more cat stories. That and the liquor store SHAWTs kept me hooked.

And I came by because... *drumroll* I'm going to MyST fan fics. *sigh* Yeah, someone in my fandom brought it up, and the vast amount of true crap/Mary Sues just begs it to be done, so why let it be done by idiots when it can be done by me? :) I picked three "guest/recurring guest" stars of the show to be the Snarky Shadows, and I'm going to have someone send me the fics, so I don't have to pick them myself. I've been going over the Jen White mystings, comic style, I'm looking for my link to the text only mystings of Gonterwork though.... if anyone has that handy, that'd be super ;) I need to brush up on my m@d ski11z

Zefiel:
Awesome pic. But what's that on the front of Batsplut's leotard? A toilet? A duck?

"It started with a Space Ghost marathon. By 4AM, my brain was permanently altered."

Holy Crap, that's how I fell in love with Space Ghost too. Specifically, it was Cartoon Planet. I remember when morning dawned I slipped out the window and laid on my back on the roof, with visions of wannabe heroes and villians and non-sequitar comedy genius dancing in my head.

I know what I'm doing for Bill's card :).... have to get your address again from you some time, Bill... I had it ONCE when I sent you the slightly-disappointing Aussie Terrorism Pack. At least this will get there a lot faster as I'm only 2 states away now :)
When did I first find Bill? Hmm... probably from my bestest friend Jet Wolf's link page. Then I found Tod Holton and I was hooked for life :)

Zef:
AH-HAHAHAHAHA!!!!
It's the sidekicks that make it!
Umm, I didn't delete the page you were looking for, I just forgot to fix the link when it went from The Newest to the Archives:
http://www.thoughtviper.com/new/lextest.htm
But don't base my complexion on THAT.

Edited by author 03-24-2004 11:37 PM
WOO flooding!

I just forgot, Lily, i don't have a cat. there's a male cat who comes leech food from me everyonce in a while. i want my next cat to be from a fun race, like bengal (they like water!) or such, and i want to pamper him to hell and make him 100% indoor. that isn't happening as long as i'm living with mom and with this sucky job. an birmanese cat was $332 in the pet store here. and sleeping lots in its place/glass cage thing. for that amount, while i'm stuck here, i'm getting an Xbox.

"When I pulled out Every Pet's Nightmare, the vacuum cleaner, and he not only didn't run away--he jumped on it and rode it like his personal Segway."

Dang it Bill. you're lucky i know and accept i can't draw cats.. otherwise i'd have to draw THAT too.

And if the perfect Batman was when he was old and decrepit and insane, I'D be Batman!

I'm sorry Bill. i'm sorry Batman fans everywhere.

http://www.zefiel.thenetbox.com/batsplut.htm

Thanks to all you lurkers for coming out!

To be the opposite of the thread, I started making this page (or should that be "beginning the long-term writing of this drivel"?) because my cable company added Cartoon Network at midnight, 1/1/97. It started with a Space Ghost marathon. By 4AM, my brain was permanently altered. I joined the Ghost Planet ML the next day. Within a couple of months, I wrote some stupid shit while semi-drunk and posted it. I expected a massive flaming the next day, but "My Fair Locust" went over well. Sisto followed soon. When people asked me to repost some, I found out about this place called "Geocities" and got My Own Free Web Page to keep the stories. Then the Gonterman MySTings were offered by a certain highly talented water fowl, Sailor Kitty the Splut Prime wrote me, and I came up with an idea about some weekly Objects, purely because I didn't want my loyal audience of 20 to visit for nothing. The rest, as they say, is antihistamines! Wait, I'm thinking of Benadryl.

Lilly:
Don't worry about the card. My bday is 4/6, but note that my realspace friends and I exchanged Xmas gifts as recently as 2 weeks ago.
Yes, I'd be interested in the cat book! Byron isn't skittish, unless I touch him without making sure his peripheral vision picks me up first. Then he jumps a tiny bit. My real sign that he was deaf should've come at 8 weeks, when I pulled out Every Pet's Nightmare, the vacuum cleaner, and he not only didn't run away--he jumped on it and rode it like his personal Segway.

LaGrey:
Thanks for the recommendation. "Revolutionary Girl Utena" is in my Netflix movie queue. I have a bunch of time off coming up, so any other recommendations are welcome (here comes the new comments thread!)

Salutations, yo! A lurker for a little over a year now, I must've found the InexOb either on CSotD or had it come up as a search result when looking for something unusual. Then I read the News archives in order, eventualy catching up to the present. Thank you Mr. Splut, for all the interesting reading and amusing links.

Edited by author 03-24-2004 06:06 PM
Bill, I'm already at work on the birthday card (though it's proving to be a daunting task to live up to the Xmas one) but when IS Your Big Day, anyway? I've got it written down in my address book which is currently AWOL.

I'm currently reading a book about rating your cat's IQ that I thought about Xeroxing parts of to send to you, if you haven't seen it already. We already know KK is a genius, but it'd be interesting to see how Byron would score, given his deafness. (I'm guessing he's not terribly skittish...?)

I mainly just dislike the fact that in the 'answers,' there's never a fifth option, "E: runs away and hides," which is both my girls' responses to anything loud or different. (And much as I love them, I don't confuse their caution for intelligence. Consistency, yes, but intelligence, no necessario.)

Welcome back, Zef! How goes the gata negra, or do you still have her?

Roger: my ex-boyfriend Josh and best friend Beth both graduated from HSU with geology degrees. To feel better re: your unemployment, compare your career trajectory to theirs:

Josh is with the BLM, albeit in Battle Mountain NV (a.k.a. Bumfuck, Nowheresville). Hey, at least he's using his degree. Beth was a baker, barista, B&N slave, 5th grade teacher and now is a loan processor.

At least my B.A. in English from CSUS comes in handy when folks need someone to b.s. about Shakespeare...not that that ever happens, mind you.

Edited by author 03-24-2004 09:52 AM
Hi all! I've been lurking around here for years now, back in the days when the InExOb was still updating. I want to say I first discovered all this back in '99 or early 2000. I *think* that I found this through either yahoo cool site or cruel.com, but I can't remember what I had for breakfast yesterday, so who knows how reliable that is. As long as you're posting, I'll be around. Thanks for the years of entertainment.

You can always redeem yourself with some good kitty pics. I found inexob through a search engine called AlterVistas and I found them through bored.com. Some of those things made me laugh like a hyena and my office mate thought I was crazy. I never showed her what I was looking at. Just laughed til I cried and ignored her. I love to mess with her like that. I liked the SHAWT stories too. I work in a law office and I have more than my fair share of the loons. (and this includes the chick that sits at the next desk)

That last one is a recreation of what I see everyday, when Reese sits in my lap for a while and then decides her face just isn't CLOSE enough to mine yet, dammit!

I like the cat pics. Because of the last one, it has a kind of Blair Witch-y thing going on.

Edited by author 03-24-2004 12:40 AM
Yo, Yo, Yo, anin't no matta wat numba 'm,
Cuz i'm da only mexxican in da house bizzay ma-am!

Anyway, i'm sorry i haven't posted. (not that anyone has missed me, which isn't really a bad thing. i'm just egocentric) but i've been ashamed i can't finish a drawing related to a past thread.

Oh, and i found the inexobs maybe from.. i think it was a random links page. i found somethingawful.com from there too and stickdeath.com too, i was looking for those flash animations of stick guys doing kung fu (xiao xiao)

I was always drawn more to the news and the SHAWT than to the inexob. (read the whole archives when i was done with the inexob) tho a lot of the inexobs made me laugh with those laughs that last 10 minutes. (i miss that sad guy with all the holes on his head) i dunno how long ago was that. i know that both InExOB and the SHAWT had ended. i think you even had KK already.

am i 11.5 out of 50? ^_^

reythe pointed me toward the sisto files in my sophomore year of high school, then you linked to the "what's up b" in the new. and that was....senior year of high school, 1999-2000.

If we're recommending movies, I want to recommend the Revolutionary Girl Utena movie. IT BE RULE. I don't even know how to describe it. Sailor Moon as directed by David Lynch, maybe.

I was not going to comment but as Bill seems to want to hear from the lurkers, here goes.
I cannot remember exactly where I came accross the 'News', it was about three years ago and I have suppressed those memories (for reasons I will not go into). Most likely it was a link posted on HOTF, I was an avid reader of the 'Operators standing by', until it died a cruel death. I also found AsIf via the same site.

There you go Bill, my two cents worth.

Edited by author 03-23-2004 05:19 PM
I know I first saw the InExOb but I can't remember how. It's not like I went to Yahoo and searched for "inexplicable". Mostly I search for p0rn or Jem jpgs or Def Leppard lyrics or something. I do know that some of my fave links have come out of the SplutBlog though. I mean, AsIf and Daily Deformations (found through JW's SHAWT files), Book of Gourd, Bad Candy, more that I can't be bothered to check my bookmark file for at the moment... But I think it's been about three, maybe four years now?

Editing in that I could be wrong, I could have gotten here through a random MySTing (non Gont) perhaps? Crap. This is gonna bug me now.

Christ, that was a while ago...I'm pretty sure Userfriendly linked the "Saving Space For Frogs" InExOb. I read through that, and all the archives, then all the News, Zelko's Page of Yams, what have you. Then I showed Luna. After a short time, Userfriendly went by the wayside, and The News took its place.

I'm afraid I'll have to confess to being of the "got here through the InExOb" persuasion, which I discovered through a recommendation of stuff to do while Dragonmount.com was down.... Much excitement. I believe the InExOb at the time was the O.P.P. ... I really have been here a long time.

I'm with Lisa, I can't quite remember how I got here but I haven't wanted to leave. Come for the InExOb, stay for the Pie! Or the Tasty Chick.

I first learned about Bill's web exploits during his "Sisto Files" days, when he was posting those goont things on the Ghost Planet mailing list. Then he started hosting my MiSTings. The rest is history - except for the parts that aren't.

I got hooked on the Inexplicable Objects through Yahoo.
I laughed, I cried, I read more. Much fun!

How I found Bill, I saw a link somewhere probably Plastic about super Green Beret about 3 and a half years ago, and have been reading ever since. I passed the link onto a friend who linked to that article, and probably caused a secondary spike in his viewership. Sorry Bill, but no more referrals from zweng since I am now unemployed, anyone in Sacramento need a geologist?

I've been reading the SplutFiles for over three years now and I have absolutely no idea how the hell I came across this gem. I'm sure it was due to some random Google. It's funny, though... one thing I know is that through three years and three cities of occupancy and all that comes with those moves, this website has been constant and entertaining and the kitties have been my cat-ertainment since I had to leave mine in Seattle. Well, KK, Byron, and the little kitty Microsoft Office Assistant. ;)

La Grey:
I don't even talk like the stereotypical N'Englander (ie, "Pep'ridge Fahms remembahs!" or "Pahk the cah in Hahvad Yahd!"). Connecticutioners (whatever) sound like The People On TV. Like Californians. Just a tad more nasal.

Lilly:
Yes, you probably are the only person who joined the Splut Parade because of TechTV. I sure didn't see any big uptick in readers that week. Of course, that was when the InExOb was getting 2500 hits a week. 50 more today would seem like a lot. I hear that it wasn't that great of a sell anyway. Govynda saw it and said that they just flashed a few random Obs without the commentary, and the commentary was the whole point.
Vyn also said she saw it playing as a loop on the TVs at Wal-Mart. I don't expect that I've ever seen a lot of attention from the Wal-Mart demographic.

Pressed for time, more than usual. (Dirk Mc)Quickly...

Negs--no worries, mate. That's why we kept the receipt. :)

M3, if I find a Warrick-alike, you will have to peel *me* off him before you ever get your shot! But an ironclad agreement from His Holiness Greg to love me forever *might* allow me to consider opening negotiations...

I bet I'm the only one here who found the InExOb via the late, great, much-lamented (by me, anyway) Internet Tonight show on TechTV! I still pine for the Surf Guru. ::sigh::

Here's an interesting thought. I was first introduced to the Splut-meme through the Sisto Files. That later led me to Sailor Kitty. That later led me to read the Black Dream Hole. That even LATER led me to Thoughtviper. When I read the Sisto Files, I imagined Sisto as having a Brak-like southern accent. Now I imagine Bill as having the same Brak-like accent. This is no doubt highly inappropriate, as The Fifth Lime Girl is a New Englander.

Also, I have to admit that the whole idea behind that slash link was for the sake of the line, "It's not like the idea never occured to you." Because I know it did.

Edited by author 03-19-2004 04:04 PM
OK, I think I'm caught up.

Lilly Joe - That cracks me up. All of it. I call it "My NoCal PubLib SoOp" But please, more stories on this, its so amusing to me for some reason! I looked up Beto and he's not bad. I've been downloading CSI:Vegas like mad to get caught up on canon, watching six or seven eppys a day. If you meet anyone that looks like Warrick...

And in general to The Author Of This Site, I do love the work stories, particularly the stealing sagas, the pics and stories of TEH KITTIES!, and the random links. The Easter Island thing was fascinating. Of course, when I eagerly shared the link and said I was open to discussion on it, no one cared. They only love you for your wacky links, Bill. Sheep. Pft.

Erps. Edit. I'm a Ritalin kid, from when I was about fourth grade through sixth grade. I LOVED it. I was calm! I was focused! It was like... when you're in severe pain. Nagging, aching pain. Nothing's working, it's lasted hours now. And finally, something starts to kick in (whiskey, percocet, whatever). Those moments when you realize that the pain is actually gone, before you drift off into loving the air molecules. Bliss. That's Ritalin to a kid like me. It was Bliss. I remember it so well. And I would go back on it in a second, long term effects be damned. I could conquer the world on Ritalin!

However. Here I sit. No job. No motivation. No Ritalin.

Re the meds debate, I ca see both sides. Yes, there are people who for pgysiological reasons need meds to stabilize them emotionally. Those people *should* have 'em. However, there are also people who think "Don't feel great? Medicate it away, don't deal with the REAL problem!"
Yuck.

Lilly - Awk! I didn't mean for you to go buy a shirt at Hot Topic. Their prices are a bit steep for me, especially since the Brak shirts look damaged. (I know that's supposed to be trendy. I don't follow that trend.) I hope you can return it.

The Easter Island bit is just a brief reference toward the end. Second to last chapter, I think.

I think you know me from exactly two places:
1. I mailed you the unflattering Funny Farm comic.
2. Under the name SailorStarCrusader, I wrote The Whirling Vortex of Magic Glitter which currently resides next to your Ode on Kitty's page. I was a Kitty the Splut fan before I was a Bill the Splut fan. But I was a Sisto fan before I was a Kitty fan. I'm glad it didn't turn out to be a phase.

Wow, everybody posted here yesterday! Except the lazy ass who runs the actual page.

LavGrey:
Is there just discussion of Easter Island in The Novel, or participation? Like a guy getting killed by having a head pushed onto him? If it turns out that the heads are really the heads of giant stone aliens buried up to their necks that come alive and wreak havoc, Marvel Comics did that already. But maybe you don't think like I do. And the world is probably a better place for that, too.
Wow, Sisto...That's like 7 years ago. Were you on the GPML back then? Might I know you by another nom du web?

Canary:
Yeah, Hartford's lovely, innit. I guess that you were in the "Tall Buildings" part, so, no, no bookstores. There might be a few here and there in the residential/Low Buildings parts, but otherwise, we have Borders and the other chains in the Mall parts of the state. And those aren't in Heart of Beatford. The TB part is all 9-5; when the insurance companies close, so does the city. Everyone goes home who doesn't live there; most of whom who live there aren't part of the TB sector.
The tree weirdness is because, until c.1960, all of CT that wasn't an industrial cityscape was either a tobacco or potato farm. Then it became suburbs or was left to grow wild. There's no Old Growth Forest here; every forested part of the state has trees exactly the same age because they started growing at the same time. We may not have brush, but we have ancient hand-built stone walls from a century or more past in every state forest, showing where the borders of the old farms stood.

Everyone:
Sorry, that article on antidepressants just seemed interesting. I, personally, have so little interest in sex that I'm planning on doing everything I can to never have it again (not that that's a very hard goal to achieve!). In retrospect, I'd rather be a virgin now than have to deal with all the collateral emotional damage that getting laid entails.

"The only thing I dislike about articles like these--informative as they may be--is the seeming ignorance of the fact that some people (like me, for instance) absolutely *have* to take these meds in order to have any kind of normal functioning whatsoever. "

Um, well, no. they didn't ignore that fact.

"Experts, however, advocate caution in factoring the Fisher-Thomson theory into the decision to prescribe SSRIs.

“I would not be in favour of scaring people away from taking SSRIs on the basis of these speculations. The vast majority of people for whom these drugs are prescribed are suffering substantially from their mental disorders and have markedly reduced quality of life,” says Lorrin Koran, Professor of Psychiatry at Stanford University, who specialises in compulsive behaviours.

Nick Kosky, consultant psychiatrist and clinical director at North Dorset Primary Care Trust, says that since most patients are on antidepressants for relatively brief periods, the Fisher-Thomson warnings about reproductive and relationship risks might be “a little histrionic”. “How long do people stay on antidepressants? Actually not that long as a fraction of their reproductive lifespan,” he notes. “There’s no evidence that once the SSRIs are withdrawn that sexual dysfunction persists in the long term.”

He says that programmes can be altered or other medications can be used to mitigate against some negative side effects of SSRIs, so avoiding them entirely would be too extreme in most cases.

“They’re crucial drugs. They’re very important and I have my patients use them. I don’t want to be misunderstood here,” he says. “I think that they save lives.”

Just being my usual annoying self about details and such.

I was on anti depressives once too, and just as Gray, probably didn't need it. whoa, but do they work. killed my obsessive compulsive disorders (while i was taking them, they still with me), and disconnected my mouth from my brain, making the rate of stupid things said go up by 200% (as i had always carefully thought before talking, not anymore) a trait that persists to this day.

Edited by author 03-17-2004 09:36 PM
Christ, third post in a day. Which is wierd, because ever since the SHAWT ended I usually only read sporadically.

You're right, Lilly, from what I've seen, the meds can work miracles on people who need them.

Of course, my mom forced me to take Prozac once, WHICH WAS AN EXTREMLY UNGOOD IDEA BECAUSE THE DEPRESSION WAS CLEARLY CAUSED BY EXTERNAL FACTORS. Killing my sex drive just made me even more depressed, as I could no longer perform therapy on myself.

Edit: Also, in that vein, I come bearing a gift! A story I found just now!
It's a slash story starring Crowley and Aziraphale from Good Omens.
And no, it's not explicit. It's FUNNY.
Quit staring at me like that. It's not like the idea never occurred to you.
http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=1446089

Edited by author 03-17-2004 07:04 PM
Bill, that Times article was interesting, but I've always considered that particular aspect of SSRI's to be a feature rather than a bug. After all, I'm depressed enough by nature as it is--if my libido was anything near normal I might be quasi-suicidal at the fact I'm not gettin' any as well!

The only thing I dislike about articles like these--informative as they may be--is the seeming ignorance of the fact that some people (like me, for instance) absolutely *have* to take these meds in order to have any kind of normal functioning whatsoever. The model I've always used is diabetes; just like how with that the body produces too much or not enough insulin, for folks like me (and most of my family--oh yay for genetics), our systems don't adequately regulate neurotransmitter function, so it's all over the map, to obvious systemic detriment.

Trust me, I didn't go on meds until I was 22, and I've had to go off them a few times since then; even the most trivial items become huge obstacles when my dopamine and norepenephrine (sp?) levels are unregulated. At that point it's fundamentally just a quality of life issue.

Okay, soap box being put away now--I just had to throw in my habitually long-winded two cents on behalf of those of us who essentially have no choice when it comes to antidepressants. It's pretty much either meds--side effects and all--or a steep descent into madness and death.

And a cheery St. Patrick's Day to all of you, too! ;)

Edited by author 03-17-2004 06:33 PM
Canary, dahlink--"Lovely 70 degree weather"?! Jeez, you must be on the coast, you lucky thing. Here in Modesto it's been nonstop record-breaking weather all week (yesterday's high? 86 :P), and I've gone swimming the past two afternoons, fully mindful of the fact that it's only in Cali and Florida where you can comfortably swim outdoors in mid-March.

Still, I'd be much happier if things here were more like, say, Ohio, which I was informed was all of 31 degrees this morning. Certainly if I lived back east I wouldn't have had to go home incredibly nauseous and almost semi-conscious after a temp assignment that required me to stand outdoors in the late-morning sun. Bleccch!

Bill, I had a nightmare last night directly connected to the latest shenanigans sur votre travaille (hmmm, can't be a coinkydink that the French word for "work" looks so much like "travail," huh?). If you're able to get past the others' pettiness you're a finer man than I, Gunga Din (...and other things we knew already).

I was just in your lovely city of Hartford, CT. I flew in and out of BDL on an exciting "visit the in-laws for a funeral" trip to quiet little East Haven, home of my husband's paternal side. His grandfather passed away last Friday and I got to experience my first wake. *shudder*

Grandpa Al was a great guy; Yale cop who, in his day, was assigned to guard Jodie Foster from That Psycho who Shot at Reagan. A good dad and grandad, fun, funny, one of the nicest old guys I've ever met.

I was getting on the plane as the first of the snow fell, so I missed it. The funeral was Monday, so we were lucky to sun and (relatively) warm temperatures. Even though it was nothing compared to the lovely 70 degree weather I left in California.

We did spend some time enjoying beautiful downtown Hartford. My husband and I went to the capitol and looked at the old stuff and nice architecture. I was curious about something...are there any bookstores in CT? I looked all over East Haven and Branfordj because I finished the book I brought with me and needed something else. I ended up buying a pulp novel from a Stop and Shop in depseration.

Also, you have a lot more trees in your woods out there. Small, skinny, straight up and down trees. Weird. But no brush? Out here, woods are less trees and more brush. Much harder to hike in, without paths. But very pretty.

Been reading through the archives of the New. I've been a fan since there was only the Old New, the New New, the Newest New, and the Newer than the Newest New. Screw the Inex Ob, I'm nostalgic for Sisto. "The fact that he was killed by his own stupidity just puts the icing on the corpse."

Gah! I already made the Easter Island head-plutocracy connection in The Novel. As you might be willing to guess, it's shaping up to be an incendiary novel.

For Ms. M3:

Me: Do you ever get tired of being told you look like someone?
Him: Not really, I don't get a lot of that.
Me: See, when I was younger, I got it a lot, and it really annoyed me, cos I know I basically look like my mom. (Me, internally: Who is a total fox.)
Him: (now I can't remember, general agreement)
Me: So, you do look like someone, but I'm not going to tell you WHO! Maybe it's just *your* mom!

Sufficient? ;) Zef, I sent it to the Mosher99 addy but had a helluva time getting the dang thing to *send.* Blast you, hotmail.

Bill, I found another music video that has a white cat in it, and since I already have list of hockey references in MST3K & KiTH, I might as well start making *this* irrelevant list next.

Nuu! ;_; what mail you send it to? nothing has arrived..

Edited by author 03-15-2004 05:02 PM
Quickly, quickly, cos I took up WAY too much time writing to the Zefster: Bill, I apologize. Clearly CT is a tiny United Nations of sorts, and sad Modesto in comparison is mainly just Anglo, Hispanic (mainly Mexican), Asian and a surprisingly large number of Assryians (like my buddy Nick at the non-bodega across the street, who no longer mispronounces my name and lets me cash my paycheques there). And, a lot of people who love menudo, me just not among them.

Negs! I couldn't find your LJ to ask if you still want the Brak tee...?! Size M, grey, "Hey Buddy!" was one of the only ones they had left, so I snagged it. If $18 is too rich for your blood, we can always return it, though--otherwise, just email me at Lillybeane at AOL (you know the one) to let me know where to send the thing.

The Non-Rory isn't here today, but my friend Michael is now on a mission to come here and check him out. And other reasons why gay men are my best friends.

Bleh, Geeky Boy just told me time's up. Lata kids!

I dug Batman Beyond in that it had continuity. then.. it tried to respect the old Batman the animated series' line of artwork. then.. oh, well, hell, i can't justify it. i'm a sucka for batman. Bill, you gots to see too 'Batman: The mask of the phantom' (or something like that) because i think that was the first movie that came around along with Batman the animated series. it ruled hard.

Edited by author 03-15-2004 12:40 AM
Kiru, Kiru, Kiru.
*sigh*
You are so off your game.
"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Billis?" would've been better.
And if the perfect Batman was when he was old and decrepit and insane, I'D be Batman!
I assume that your dream Batman story would be "Batman Returns: To K-Mart, Insisting that he was Overcharged for his Depends. And Returns and Returns, Never Remembering that He's Still Wearing Them."
"Shiznit" like this wouldn't happen if you still updated your LJ.
Damn kids today!!!

MrSpaz:
"granite La-Z-Boy"?
Hmm, I'm getting a new business model here...
Craftmatic Adjustable Slabs!
The new Eternal Sleep Number Beds! ("I'm a zero!")
Slay-Z-Boys!
Me, I just want a grave that when people step on it, it yells "STOP THAT DANCING UP THERE!!"

Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Bill? Batman Beyond was the shiznit, as the uncool white kids have increasingly begun to say. It's all about Bruce Wayne being old and decrepit and utterly, utterly insane. And the dog was cute. The villains were, by and large, sub-par, but Batman Beyond had Kevin Conroy's best voice acting yet.

In fact, Batman Beyond followed the rule of thumb I typically have for superheroes; namely, that the best Batman stories are those where he is old, old as the hills (The Dark Knight Returns being the major example), while the best Superman stories are origin tales (e.g. Jeph Loeb & Tim Sale's A Superman For All Seasons, or Millar's Red Son). Which of course are all anybody does anymore, so it's ceased to be a good rule of thumb, really.

Granite furniture: I think they're referring to the granite benches placed on burial plots for visitors to sit upon (well, visitors, since I doubt the residents will be sitting on them). I don't know why they don't just say "granite benches" though, since I'll have to say I haven't seen a granite La-Z-Boy in any cemeteries here in Florida.

Well, i posted my page, and the next day something awful does a feature in strange mexican candy. meh. at least they just covered one of the ones i've got around here now. (the corn lolly)

A friend of mine's been trying to get a job, but she fails as she's very shy and such. so, that got me wondering. i will work in a lot of things, and i got da mad language skillz, and i can be paid very little and it'll still be more than wat i get here, so, could anyone of you hook me up with a gig there? i was just wondering. besides, the only way to get a work visa is to be employed there already, since the employer is who does most of the paperwork. nuh uh.

Frank (such i had named the other little black kitty) is not mine. i don't intend to claim him as mine, i just want to take care of him until i see he heals. i would gladly claim him as mine, but i don't think there's that bound that would make it legit. and, again, when it's a male subject, you use an 'o' at the end. when is female, is 'a' at the end. the assumed default is male. so you can say 'gato negro' for a male black cat or 'gata negra' for a female black kittay.

The batmonkey idea is great. i'll expand on that.


When i helped open the new store (which was a terrible ordeal which i'll never repeat at least as long as i'm here in all-jobs-screw-you country) word got to me that our manager to be was pinning all the missing toys on us, the sellers. (when it had been the construction workers, and basically, the owner's fault who ordered the stuff to be brought to the store way before it could be placed there.) all the managers and such who came to help watched us like vermin, and wouldn't leave us alone. meh. he quit by himself later after a couple of girls accused him of sexual harassment. (which they'd [the same girls] would commit later on the new manager,[who didn't mind] crazy, i tell you.)

Lilly:
"Bill, you really *didn't* know what menudo was? Man. Connecticut really IS that white, huh?"
Not at all. If I remember correctly, the 3 cities with the largest Puerto Rican populations are NYC, San Juan, and Hartford CT. We don't have many Mexicans here, just like we don't have, say, a lot of Eskimos. Thus, no Mexican cuisine. But there are school districts that have Three Kings Day off, and no one bats an eye when they hear people speaking Spanish.
The store's customers are about 2/3 black, with a lot of Jamaicans. Vernon has a good sized Indian community, and the next town over has a lot of Laotians. CT's as racially mixed as any other state.
Except for Fairfield County, where all the rich Wall Street types commute from. The rest of the state considers Fairfield to be a part of NY.

Zef:
Good luck with the new gato negra! And thanks for the links. Batmonkey should have Robin picking fleas off of him. And that candy is truly f'ed up if it's based on a REAL incident of torture! It'd be like Mel Gibson selling delicious Crucifixicles in the movie lobby.

hey, bill...he could have did what the woman who stole from us at the video store did: hit the no sale key every time instead of total and pocket the money. this woman had become my mom's best friend and even made herself up to look like my mom to try and pass herself off as my mom around town. mom finally caught her when she needed to look at the ledger for some reason...three years after she started doing it.

she now manages a subway and i think she's getting fired from there for trying to take money out of the employee's paychecks and pocket that.

sorry if this is incoherent.....i'm kinda tired. ^_^

I'm sorry Nega. hope all's oki. Madrid is big.

Bill, dun give up. today the other black kitty that lives in our street was in my very locked yard. i don't know how he got in, but he was very hungry, so i fed him. he's got a small gash on the base of his tail.. i thought the house in front of mine was taking care of him, but i guess they don't, so i'm going to do so. umm.. this is very related to your syndrom, yes?

Lily, you sound 2hott2bignored. if not, then i'm still here. i've got Beto Cuevas' eyebrows (not his eyes, but is the 2nd best thing, yes?) and at the worst, we could always talk about novelas. i can always be reached at mosher99@hotmail.com

Uncle talked to us by Msn messenger the very day that happened. he was sorta away from the affected places. he's the only one there, and the univ he assists made him go to the manifestations.

I just realized, one of my coworkers is Spanish, and her family lives in Madrid. And she wasn't at work today. Dear God, I hope that this is just a coincidence.

Edited by author 03-12-2004 07:10 PM
I forgot to ask, yesterday--Bill, you really *didn't* know what menudo was? (The wildly-variable comestible, not the mid-80's source of derision.) Man. Connecticut really IS that white, huh? (Like I have room to talk, but I *did* know what menudo is, hence why I avoid ingesting it.)

Zefster, I actually was going to ask if your email addy at your DJ is still the same, since I have many questions regarding the inexplicable nature of Mexican tv that might be better served elsewhere, rather than Bill's Not All About Mexican TV Page...can't say I'm with you on the game shows thang, but heck, I get addicted to novelas, so that tells you something about my taste quotient right there.

BTW, please tell us that your uncle in Spain *doesn't* live in Madrid, hon, along with any other family members...?!

M3, guess what? RC Clone Speaks! Actually, he just demonstrated a nice little self-deprecating sense of humor, so I may have to work my way up to Saying Something at some point. Just keep in mind, I have to see this guy almost every day--or however often I make it into the library to check my email 'n netsurf--so I'd prefer not to totally embarrass myself in front of someone I have to see on a regular basis, ya know? (Not to mention that I've actually applied to work here, though they have yet to get back to me.)

Still, I thought of another ice-breaker/preamble, vis a vis the fact that I used to get *constant* comparisons to Kate Bush (when I had long auburn hair), Madonna (short blonde hair) and Annie Potts (short auburn hair)--now that I have long dark blonde hair, I think I just tend to glare at anyone who even *attempts* to make a comparison that this tends to fend them off at the pass--but anyhoo, thought I'd say something about that, and then, "Sooooo, anyone ever tell you that you resemble someone famous?"

Please note that I typed the above paragraph with him standing directly across from me, booting up a computer and seemingly looking straight at me (I wouldn't look up, I'm better at frowning at the screen). Sheesh, now he's next to me--gotta go before he can read this over my shoulder! :-O!!!

This message brought to you just in case you forgot what junior high was like.

PS, okay LOtR fan-folks, Don loaned me the first 2 DVDs, and despite feeling like I now have a 1700-hr. homework assignment, any opinions/things for me to look out for?

Edited by author 03-12-2004 01:47 AM
I was debating where to both advertise myself and reply to Lily, if here or in my DJ, but then i went lazy and decided to do all here. sorry Bill.

To make up for it, at least, here's what i know. Rado is not a word in spanish. i went as far as to ask my uncle in Spain (who is there in the home of spanish language studying it) who confirmed, Rado is not a word in spanish at all. the closer is Rada, which means a small port. maybe that's why it was funny. 'Ranch of Nothin'!

Now fo' stuff.

Lily, ya, i've seen Mr. Cuevas. i sorta like some songs of him, but it's not like i'm a big fan or anything. it just comes from hearing radio while at work

(that aunt keeps tuned in, and the same thing happens with our equivalent of family feud, aunt likes to watch it while we lunch and now so do i, and i did like the price is right too, so don't feel too bad. both had the same host, can you believe it? also, we have now the weakest link, which family likes a lot [and which i'm sure i could rule, at least here, if i didn't get so dang nervous] is the host really supposed to act like a robot?)

Kiwi used to know what pointing was. specially with little tossed pieces of human food in the ground, the dummy couldn't find them until i pointed repeteadly at them. and his 'jumping off wall around house to meet me when i called at him from the corner' thing he did was way cuter than any window peeking.

Lilly again, ya, i like the Tucanes a bit too. they're fun, their music is not as generic as the rest of the genre, and there are rumors that they're narc bosses. i havn't heard that song. i only listen lots to two or three of theirs.

I can whine to people about job, but it will only get me massive guilt trips, and won't really fix anything. there isn't any real family member who can step in (which is why i was drafted in the first place) and hiring someone would lead to mo' guilt trips. and yeah, it's a bit of a cultural thing.

The average mexican family is based on a hierarchy not unlike your typical Xenomorph hive. the queen, which in this case is my granma, gives all the orders, which are to be carried out at all costs, and she's to be owed MAXXXIMUM respect, as she's the oldest. you do not reply to her, you do not raise your voice in the slightest when talking to her. is those kind of things which are driving me insane. oh, yeah, well,it's like a hive because at least in my family all members are to try and keep close. most live in the same city, and very close. the few ones that reject talking and following granma's orders become nothing short from strangers to everyone else.

Pay is bad, but i've found the upside of it. i get paid so little, mother does not have the gall anymore to ask for a part of it. so i'm free to use it at will, which i wasn't sometimes with old paycheck. so far i gots a nice office chair and today i got a shaver! no more barbasol, eh Bill?

So, anyway. i made the small page about mexican candies. it is to update.. dunno, haven't decided. for now i just expanded on the foot lollies.

http://www.zefiel.thenetbox.com/raro.htm

also, sorry DC, sorry, Bill, sorry, all batman and monkey fans. i've been downloading old eps of batman the animated series and couldn't resist. hell, there's a 'Batman: the middle ages Knight' series, so 'Batmonkey, Dark Knight of the Pleistocene' isn't so far off.

http://www.zefiel.thenetbox.com/batmon.jpg

Woo hoo! beat you at longerness, Lily!

M3--ay, here's the rub. The other day when I walked up to the counter, I realized that said RC Clone actually is much better looking than RC, in fact he kinda looks like a cross between RC and Beto from La Ley (for all that mebbe only young Zef knows what *he* looks like), so as a consequence I've been struck dumber than usual. If that's indeed humanly possible.

Plus there's the nightmare scenario I told my friend Don (to many guffaws) last night...
Me: Hey, did you ever see Empire Records--
Him: (irritatedly) Yeah, yeah, Rory Cochrane, I know, I KNOW ALREADY!

Billy dahlink, does Byron's urpitude need some medicating? Back when I had Lemieuxmew, I had to give her Petromalt on a daily basis, until the vet told me she was like a hyper-secreter in human terms (a.k.a. someone with bleeding ulcers, like my mom and Brian, maybe me dans la futur)--she couldn't digest hairballs *period,* and essentially was going to urp regardless of how much Science Diet Hairball Formula I bought for her.

In retrospect, I'm glad that at least we then lived in the Old House that had hardwood floors which made for easier cleanup, cos nowadays Beez-n-bellaZoph's urp stains my pale beige carpet like nobody's bid'ness.

Re: the adorable image of those little faces looking out the window--the little bit I've been able to train Sophie (or vice versa) is that if I start making mouse noises as I approach my apt., Sophie will generally come out and start mewing at me. Sometimes if she's out on the balcony and I don't see her (like last night--hey, I *was* coming home after midnight, for once!), she actually starts with the Mommy-Mommy-Mommy-you're-home-you're-home-where-were-you nonstop squeaks as soon as she hears my walk (which I've been told is idiosyncratically irregular--hey, just glad to be out of the wheelchair, man).

The Sophster also has evinced a keen interest in the birds that routinely cluster in the tree next to the balcony, but after that traumatic incident with Tboy bringing a *live* bird into the house, I'm rather glad la Sovyette can't quite reach the tree, all in all. And la Beez is, of course, too busy either hiding in my closet or being oddly clingy 'n spazzy, as she's been for the past week, to bother with such distractions.

Once again, I bet my message is the longest one on the page! Size queen, moi? Nah, diarrhea of the keyboard, more like.

Kiru - I guess I am a h6xx0r now 2! I got my exclusive, special bigot-mail from the AFA yesterday and enjoyed a bladder-bursting guffaw at the results. WHOOPS! We sure didn't expect that!
"Gosh darnitall, Reverend! Those commie homo liberal hackers got hold of our Family Values poll again! There's no way those numbers can be accurate!"
Sometimes the truth hurts. And I'm always glad to help twist the knife when it comes to these folks.
Hee hee heee.

I have spastic colon syndrome, but my digital camera has no flash, dammit. Guess I'll have to stick to cartoons for my website fodder.

I'll start taking pictures of my colonic landslides. What's your work email?

I miss hearing about Bill's bowels.

Here's something I found funny. Remember way back, a couple weeks ago, when the American Family Association (you know who they are just from the name) was running a poll on gay marriage, in order to produce the preordained response from the type of people who'd visit their website, and every concerned livejournal denizen had a link to the poll (which was subsequently taken down because "activist hackers" had produced a different result from the expected one--SCIENCE!)?

Yeah, you remember that.

Anyway, apparently the AFA kept all those liberal hackers on their mailing list, because yesterday I got this e-mail telling me it was my bounden duty to mark down who I was voting for in the next presidential election at the poll, here: http://www.onlinepolls.net/pollv1/default.aspx?pid=10

It's the results that are really the amusing part. Last I looked, Kerry had something like 90.5%, Bush had 3.3%, and Nader--fucking NADER--had 6.7%

That's hope, that is. Well, as long as we go beat up the Nader supporters, I mean.

"Then Kevin (no relation to Legolas' brother)" had me choking on my chicken. Literally, and if I had been eating the potatoes that bite, I'm sure I wouldn't have had the life-flashing-before-my-eyes for the third time in a week.

During a YahooIM chat with a friend, she mentioned a Kevin. I said "Oh, Legolas' brother?" She said something along the lines of wtf? I explained. We laughed. Now she called Kevin "Leg's brother". At least, while talking to me.

I rented Titan AE once. I can't remember the plot. It was a sad reason I rented it. I won't dwell. And buying vodka in a bottle shaped like a gun isn't going to make anyone more inclined to go out and shoot people, I had to laugh at that. Do people really think that? I mean, you're either going to shoot people or you aren't, I don't see molded glass making a whole lot of difference.

Now the vodka INSIDE! That could cause problems.

About Tsernobyl: my hometown got one of the biggest fallouts outside Ukraine. Eating mushrooms, berries and fish was considered dangerous for your health for a year or two afterwards. Some of the big, long-living predatory fish like pikes still have unpleasantly high radioactivity, and theere's still a surfeit of cesium in the moss.

I wasn't caught in the rain (yeah, it was a nice warm spring rain that brought all the lovely isotopes down), since my family was taking a vacation trip to Cyprus. We flew over the central Ukraine on the day of the accident...

Lilly Joe - You know I've now told everyone that a netfriend has daily interaction with a RC clone. They are mucho jealous :) And are all awaiting the result of your Empire Records question!

Zef - sorry, I saw your Family Feud question and forgot to address it. YUP! I can't say for sure it's the same, because well, I don't speak Spanish (yet! I got my Spanish For Dummies book the other day!) but generally they ask stupid questions - the top five things taken on vacation - to a panel of family members - uncle joe, aunt lulu, sissy, bobby, grandma, whoever's in the lineup - and get points for being closest to the "majority"... 100 Mexicans, presumably. It used to be my FAVORITE show when I was a kid, but I also was endlessly entertained by Price is Right too, so there's no accounting for taste. Heh.

Bill - I saw a guy with a huge long tiny braid get out of a car across the street and thought of you. Mainly it was "Man, Bill'd never do that to his hair!" It was more of an extra long hair-tail, badly done.

And I'm always scanning the stuff in the grocery store for odd foods. For the InExOb/Zef. The problem is, out of the dozen brands of bread, is Bimbo any GOOD? I mean, I have no idea where it rates on a scale of 1 to 10, I buy it for sheer amusement factor.

Well, i am glad you do realize i don't find amusing to follow the lives of people who are exactly like me, or you, or Bill, but can stand in front of a camera, or have bodies that people like.

For the record, i don't like Niurka. her body isn't the greatest, she's not so pretty, and i don't think she's ever acted. besides, everyone, everyone, *even my mother, imagine that* have seen her in some sort of strip club. (mother saw her in the tropicana, in Cuba, which is some sort of vegas restaurant/bar, with topless show and such. mother was there in a congress of medicine, she a nurse.)

The big deal, as i see it, is that she swapped, but made a big fuss of it herself. started screaming she changed because hubby loved her no more (with lots of juicy commentary about no bed action) and what makes it somewhat more amusing, is that hubby was her manager. anyway, people like to make messes outta everything. she's pretty forgotten with the videos of government officials accepting bribes by now, though. i repeat, has anyone seen any of that? i'm curious.

Sorry, you know i do tend to make little essays. i'll scan a few more weird lollies, which tend to be the weirdest as they try to be interesting to kiddies. (amusingly, the lollies that are sold by the candy company owned by pepsico here, are all plain. the weird ones are truly mexican), but it'll take time as i want to have scans of the bags, and then lollies. we'll see.

(yeah, i missed the chance to show you bimbo bread. pity.)

Edited by author 03-06-2004 02:52 PM
Congrats, M3, you made me laugh so hard the girl next to me here on the library glared at me. Hey, I didn't know everybody else likes Greg! (And I think Kutcher is ubiquitous. I'm more the Valderrama type.) When you're a recluse you miss out on such nuances, I guess.

And speaking of, yes, Zef, that is indeed Family Feud au mexicaine. (It's on here too.) And in terms of uproar, I'd like to know what the bigass deal is about Niurka Marcos (or as I used to think of her, "that chick who kind looks like Katie Holmes but with my hair only darker") leaving her husband for that much handsomer guy? Every dang time I watch any Mexican gossip/entertainment show, they're all over it, and I don't get it. The gal traded up, what's the fuss? (I'm sure you're above such things, but I don't know who else to ask...oh, wait, the receptionist at my dr. watches Amor Descarado too, I'll ask her.)

Hey, lots of space and nothing said to the owner of this page! (Uh-oh...see, I type really fast, and it's not my fault, but people seem to sometimes get annoyed at how much noise my fingers--or rather, my nails--make on the keys. My left-side neighbor just sighed repeatedly so I better wrap up, esp. before the one on the right glares at me for laughing again. Oh, now she's laughing at something, so I guess it's okay.)

Uhm, I had cat dreams--it's in my LJ. And I saw that I taped 'Clavado en un Bar' by Mana, and I watched it again yesterday, and it still made me laugh that the guy is holding (but not 'playing') the white way KK-ish cat. For the record, the cat looks fairly happy, in direct contrast to the old video that used to make me laugh hysterically--'Let It Flow' by Soul Power (I think that's the group's name), which had a monkey desperately clinging to this bald guy's head and clearly mewling in anguish. Not that I get off on the distress of monkeys (not even maniacs, really) but well, okay, maybe you'd have to see it to know why it's funny.

One other thing, which is why I had to come back and edit; I saw something that made me think of Irish attractive men (no, M3, wasn't Colin Farrell) so I dragged out my Gormenghast tape to sate my eyes with Jonathan Rhys Meyers (I love a boy who's prettier 'n I am!) and Bill, I noticed something; JRM is the same height as you and me, 5'7", and in his scene I noticed that Christoper Fuckin' Lee is really quite fuckin' tall! I'd say 6'1" ish. He's Christopher Fuckin' TALL Lee!

My favorite mexican candies are the chili flavored gummies. Sooo delicious and simultaneously fruity and hot.

Very moving Chernobyl site. It's kind of a shock to see such a blatant part the reality of the disaster. It is different from just seeing numbers and statistics about cancer and radioactive food, etc.

Edited by author 03-06-2004 01:49 AM
Or you can send them to the Bad Candy guys (which I think was an OLD link here on the Splut files a long long time ago) http://www.bad-candy.com/

I thought I read about a candy called Sabrosa that was like, 400% your sodium for the day. They were dried something or other fruits. *shudder* Editing in they are called "Saltidos" now, but back before BadCandy when all logo-ized, it was Sabrosa. I guess that's who makes them. - http://www.bad-candy.com/candies/saltidos/

Also... Bimbo bread? I can't believe that's a brand in the US. *sigh* Cute lil Bimbo (said Beem-bo) bear as a mascot however.

Zef:
Loco Mexicali candies is a great idea for a page. You should start scanning them.

I don't think the Chernobyl girl is crazee. i think it's a very awesome and mad respectable thing. it's pushing the strenghts of your body, yes, but getting some awesome experiences and sights in return. how many smokers can say that in their defense??

Bill - Feet flavored hot lollipops. Oh dear. Where DO you find this stuff?

Uhm, from *me*? if you see you appreciate the utter insanity of this lolly, i can show you many, many sorts more of el inexplicable candy magnifico.

Also, have you seen how government here is going nutty over videos of government officials accepting bribes popping all around the place? has that made its way there? i'm very curious as today Fox (our president, for the uninformed) went to Bush's ranch in waco. tsk tsk, mysterious mysterious.

Lilly - I like the "Yeah, buddy!" shirt, myself. I know all the lyrics to that song. :)

Bill - Feet flavored hot lollipops. Oh dear. Where DO you find this stuff?

I'd write more, but I'm busy snickering over the awful He-Man coloring book pages. I have a ReBoot coloring book that's nearly as bad, but it lacks the horrible stories that put this one over the top. I can't wait to see how they maul my favorite Trollan.

I hadn't noticed. in the thumbnail, it sure looks like something Mc Farlane toys could pull off if they wanted to.

In bigger version.. well, it's still scary to me.

I haven't read anything of him. i is so ashamed. i did see the grinch tv cartoon thing.

Is it just me, or does that picture of the agéd Dr. Seuss look like a cleverly constructed puppet?

It sells lollipops! shaped like feet!

Zef:
I believe "I'm sure i could say a few things about this, but i like how you make funnies better" was the quote.
I'm not very funny at the moment. I was going to post it to general commentary tmw, in the hope of someone saying something funny.
It is a pretty damn weird image!

*I've never seen a girl, like you beforeeee...*

That's all i know of Empire records. and i quite like that song.

I've been around, still reading what you say, but not really having a lot to say. that, and i got semi adicted to a pictonary thingy online. and i still freak out when i see a cat in the street that resembles kiwi in any remote way.

M3, i've been watching more 'cien mexicanos dijeron' since you mentioned it was family feud. is it really so? family feud is about guessing what was the thing most mexicans mentioned in a poll? woah.

I sent something i found amusing to Bill, but if he doesn't share my sense of weirdness i guess it'll make it to my DJ.

*ROTFL* I was wondering what you meant with the RC reference - attitude or looks. You lucky thing you ;) I would pay to be a fly on the wall if you mention Empire Records. Lucas has the best lines in it anyway. Try "Who knows where thoughts come from?" or "The fat man walks alone" I'm giggling just thinking of it. Or you can go back to the Dazed and Confused quotes... Supposedly all guys just love that movie. Eh.

Et bien sur, I'm much with the lurve for everyone on Miami, but particularly LovelyLatinAdam and SkulkyScruffyRory :) Though, Sofia, man... That's one hell of a woman. Greg's cute and all, but... eh. Like one attractive person out of six? Plus EVERYONE loves Greg, that's like saying "I think Ashton Kutcher is hot". No offense! LOL!

and "M3" is fine! M3 is going to go think of wetsuits now, damn you.

PS: Ms. M (Ms. 3? What's more polite?), the Rory Cochrane boy is here sur la bibliotheque as I type, and earlier he was snooty and noncooperative when I asked him and the other library kids for help with coming up with a 'dope' expression for my dad's birthday thing (see, my dad used to know Coolio, before he was Coolio, and I was trying to think of something vaguely 'street' as a pretend message from him. The other kids were giggly and helpful, however, and we finally arrived at, "You da bomb, dawg!").

In any case, I'm increasingly thinking that he either *knows* he looks like RC and either he's well chuffed about it, or filled with shame and horror. One of these days I'm gonna just ask him and see if he acts like a human being *then* (...or maybe I'll just sidle up to the topic: "Gee, isn't Empire Records a fun movie? Ya know, when Anthony LaPaglia was still cool, like when he made Chameleon, not like now that he's this lipless intense guy with middle-age spread affaire de coeur'ing with co-workers...").

And I wonder why people invariably think I'm on drugs.

Awwwwh, Billy...I do so LURVE it when I get in the News. It's enough to make a gal start creating cards for you on a monthly basis, just so she can get that little bit o' Net approbation that almost adequately substitutes for actual self-esteem!

Grrrrr, Negs...you know, I do have the resentment against the tiny women, not so much with the LURVE for them, given how I am not one of their kind--nevertheless, tell me which shirt you want to put onto your teeny-tiny self. Though actually, the one I remember from my local Hot Topic was like the grey one but orange, and distressed to the point of resembling a Starsky and Hutch t-shirt I had in 7th grade (version uno, kiddies. Yes, Owen Wilson is a poor substitute for original recipe David Soul, though I saw the guy on some morning show this a.m. and egads, time has *not* been kind. PMG, on the other hand, looks virtually the same, albeit minus the Jewfro. Good for him, especially after all he's been through, poor fella).

M3, I meant to comment earlier when you made a CSI ref; you are much with the LURVE for LovelyLatinBoy on the Miami side one obverse, mais non? Me, I tend to think of Thursdays as Holy Greg Night, so TallDarknHunky is all yours, honey. After all, you put the right body in a wetsuit and hoohlordy, like we're gonna refrain from comment?!

C'mon, where's his Zefness hiding? I'd LURVE to continue filling Bill's QuickTopic page with talk about shows he doesn't watch and music he doesn't listen to!

Lilly Joe: I like T-shirts and other goodies. Not so much hats, 'cause I never ever wear them. Size medium, 'coz I am a small woman.

Bill: Thanks for the link! But, yow, those prices! I sure never charged a markup like that when I was a pusher for Fashion Victim.

Say, Bill, you see the news that McDonald's is phasing out supersizing? But it has nothing to do with the film "Supersize Me." No, nothing at all!

Marvel at Bunnyman. You owe him your adulation.

Edited by author 03-03-2004 04:34 AM
Duuuuude. Someone mentioned Rory Cochrane. Lilly Joe, I lurve you.

Art:
April 6. KITTY PICS! Wheee!

Negs:
Hot Topic's Brak stuph

Lilly:
No, "Urf!" is this odd sound Toe-Boy makes. It means "I'm happy!" like purring does.
And the card's online at http://www.thoughtviper.com/new/new68.html all the way down.

(Just a little hockey reference there, for no-one except me to get.)

Negs, dahlink, give color and size preferences...t-shirt as opposed to baseball hat? (They're actually more of the 'trucker' style currently in vogue. Something else for which we can thank Ashton Kutcher.)

Bill, am I to construe that Byron *ate* your last card by that sound effect? Jeez, I'd better make sure there's no chocolate, glitter or other bad-kitty-tummy materials on them from now on! (PS: did you ever scan mine and put it up in the News? Not to be a fame hag--okay, well, yes, probably I *am* being one--but I'm still catching up on all things Newsworthy.)

*moan* Brak stuff! I want Brak stuff. Considering what site I run, I'm practically contractually obligated to ahve Brak stuff! But there's no Hot Topic I can get to.

Nuts.

When specifffically is your birfday, Bill?

Lily Above Average:
Thanks for the thought, but there's a Hot Topic at the Mall of Doom up the road. And as someone who went through 18 months of unemployment--Save, save, save your money, dear. Bush isn't out of office yet; best to play it safe.
Plus there's a Small White snoozing under the coffee table, and a Grey Bigfoot rumbling with purrs in my lap--what the heck else do I need?
(Though my birfday's in a month, and one of your fantasmically scrumpdillyishus cards always hits the spot!)
("Urf!" adds a blissful Byron)

(I know you don't watch tv so that was a truly needless reality-show ref. Sorry!)

Hey, the other weekend when I was at the mall, I wandered into Hot Topic, which used to be this trendy teenage place and is now Goth Central with a smattering of pop-cult'y goodness, all of which I found highly amusing. (I nearly got the red Hello Kitty tee that would go perfectly with my plaid skirt, but I couldn't justify the expense on the grounds that this was something I could NOT wear to work, dangit. That, and the post-teen salesclerk was just a little too jazzed about the idea that said shirt might not adequately cover enough of me for my own comfort. It's that modesty+hating The Shelf thing, y'know.)

Anyway, I thought of you cos they also had !BRAK STUPH! T-shirts 'n hats 'n various other consumer items. I was all set to throw down some cashage til I realized that

a. perhaps you already *have* a sufficient amount of Brak-depicting clothing already
b. perhaps you can live your life perfectly well *without* an Adult Swim t-shirt.
c. perhaps--no, there's no "perhaps" about this one!--I have no damn clue what size to get you. I mean, 5'7" and skinny doesn't necessarily preclude a preference for size XXL tees, does it? (Same as how 5'7" and curvy does not preclude wanting a Hello Kitty t-shirt that doesn't reveal an unnecessary amount of the Grand Tetons. The Girls are *not* for public consumption that way.)

Oops, Rory Cochrane Library Boy just threw me off. Lemme know if I get to go back and shop for you! (Or anyone else, really, within reason. I'm working, I have money and everything!)