Edited by author 02-02-2004 07:26 PM
For the...oh, TWO of you who follow the Man of Gonter, I dunnow whether you've read his FAQ:
, but it's a total scream. I LOVE how he still thinks all copyright lawyers quake with fear at his name, especially DISNEY copyright lawyers. And then in the same article, he professes how proud he is to SUPPORT the Save Disney campaign. If Roy wins, then that's more for Davey to plagiarise!
Oh, and he's started comparing himself as the new Walt - because a) Mickey was apparently Walt's alter-ego, so Davey's teeeedious self-insertions are just emulating Walt. And b)because Davey 'started with a mouse' too. Yeah, Jonathan Brisby - a mouse he STOLE FROM BLUTH!

Mimi
post-edit: I think our prayers are answered: INSANE GONTERMAN IS BACK!!

Hm. Thoughtviper down.... (checks to make sure Bill isn't running around naked again)... BYRON!! NO! Breaky-stuff Boxes! OFF!!...

In the latest entry, I think you mean Dan DeCarlo, not Don. With all my involvement in Last Kiss Comics, oh boy do I know that name!

M3:
You can call me "Bill." You can be my bodyguard, and I'll be your long-lost pal.
On the other appendage, if you bring Chevy Chase with you, you're getting TASERED.

For those playing the home version of our game, the latest Gonterman sadass--sorry, saga--continues from where we last left off here. Daveykin's current Prozac period pales in comparison to his Raving Fruit Loop phase, although you get to see him refer to "caffinated breverages." His meds change, but he still ain't using him no splelchcker!

Zef:
Kill Kill and Byron would so KICK NINJAMSTER'S FUZZY-WUZZY ASS!!
Because I'd step on him.
(PS: That's damn funny!)

Passed along your weird links of the day, thanks as usual ;) I'm ecstatic to find others who enjoy the Splut as much as me and don't quirk an eyebrow when I try to force the splutness upon them. And I still can't figure out how to address His Splutness either. "Bill" sounds too familiar to me.

Aussie rules rugby kicks azz. :) But then, when you're on percocet, even the Golf channel is fun. I will see if I can find MythBusters on BitTorrent or some other form of download for you. Not that you care, but I like to watch old episodes. They get such devilish glee from wrecking things! I found Jem episodes on SuperNova, but the site mirrors all seem to be empty today.

Mass Sterilization I spent time pondering long ago. If the government, who gets away with everything anyway, puts it in the waters without publicizing it... like flouride, only secret... in our water, food (crops and animals), etc, that might take care of the common moron (Moronas Commonalis?) but the pesky organic hippie vegans will be tough to get at. Hm.

Lily, I MUST figure out how to turn on close capitioning because I'm truly missing all the passion on these shows! LOL! I have to call the cable company if I can't get it working. I watched "100 Mexicanos Something" (Family Feud) and a Japanese story today. I say "Japanese" because that mountain in the background looked familiar (coughSailorMoontaughtmegeographycough) and they bowed. I dunno, maybe the other Asian cultures bow? *sigh* The commercials all looked KOREAN though! Stupid honkey that I am.

And I PRAY with all my fervent athiest heart that my favorite sexy latino Wilmer Valderrama does a spanish soap opera, and gets to play Good Twin/Evil Twin. *sigh* The yelling, the frowning, the arm throwing and hand gestures and hissed spanish through gritted teeth.... *shiver* I have to go pray some more.

Well, you're smarter than me.
I just realized that I typed "al Fresco" when I meant "a la carte." I meant "pay for each item individually" and it came out "I want to only watch cable at a table outside my house." Given New England weather, that's the only way cable could be any WORSE without weasels ripping my flesh. RZZZZ!

Yeah, Snard, let's make us a deal on the Adult Swim taping thing. Email me at the you-know-where@fastmail.fm address, if the inclination inclines you.

"And I'm downright ecstatic to find out how smart and funny the readers of my drivel are."

HOLY SHEET.

I FEEL SPECIAL!

---

So azteca america exists? o.o is it on cable, or normal TV? i always thought they were just blustering when they said they reached amerika and europe.

spanish is difficult to translate. besides, we latins, being all lots more passionate than the average amerikan, tend to come up with all sort of sweet names, which i think wouldn't translate correctly. boy, was that paragraph full of latin pride or what.

Lilly sez:
"Sorry, Bill, we probably need to start our own QuickTopic page, huh?"

Au contraire. I'm quite happy that the comments have started becoming a message board. And I'm downright ecstatic to find out how smart and funny the readers of my drivel are. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves!

Hey Bill, I haven't had the chance yet to cross-check that list o' atrocious cinema, but chances are excellent that many of them are covered in Re/Search's Incredibly Strange Films (which is where I got the pic of Ms. Satana, incidentally). Several years ago I went through and highlighted all of the MST3K films they mentioned (though it seriously predates Joel and the bots by two years--circa 1986) but upon rereading it I found a bunch more that MST did subsequently; reading the interviews with Ray Dennis Steckler (cf. The Incredibly Strange Creatures) and Russ Meyer (see my LJ) have a whole different subtext now that I actually know about the films they're discussing. (Plus we even get an overview of Arch Hall Jr's film career! Whatta world, whatta world!)

Yes, young Zefster, banda and accordions suck, IMO. And yes, M3, Telemundo's truly atrocious dubbing is a major reason why I've tended to watch Univision and AztecaAmerica instead (although the other night I noticed on the former they'd done a lousy job of dubbing on De Pocas Pocas Pulgas or whatever it's called). As far as I know, Pasion de Gavilanes (sp?) and Amor Descarado (7 and 8 pm, respectively) are subtitled in English; all you have to do is turn on your closed-captioning on CC1 and presto, you might have a clearer understanding of what's going on, as long as you're not like me and don't get annoyed at how broadly they translate (like, how come the terms of endearment that Rodolfo's good-guy twin on Amor Descarado uses--"mi amor," "mi vida," y "mi reina"--all get translated as "baby"? :P).

Sorry, Bill, we probably need to start our own QuickTopic page, huh? I doubt you fired this one up so you could read us nattering on about Mexican television... ;)

Where do I sign up? For Wakboth's Dumbass Recruitement League, of course. I am already a member of VHEMT.

The problem with VHEMT, of course, is that only the smart and responsible people who think about the ecology, future of Earth and similar stuff, will follow the advice and stop breeding.

In the meantime, the unwashed masses (distinct from the washed masses, who aren't all that bad when you get to know them, honestly) will be breeding like rabbits on Viagra.

So what we need is an organisation by the smart and responsible people to trick and cajole the dumbasses into getting sterilization, with offers of money and McDonalds dinner coupons if necessary.

Thanks for the link, Mrs Scott!
Ha ha! Hate being called that yet, Mimi? ;D

Congratulations on your NOT breeding! I thought that "I Like Cheeze!" showed the positive side of kids, when they get all creatively goofy and funny. That's really entertaining when I'm around my 8! nieces an nephews. But I am ever so damn glad to go home after a few hours with them...

If you really want to end every thought of reproducing ever, try most of the other tracks on that page. If my cats fart, at least they don't do so deliberately and then spend 10 minutes laughing about it.

Of course, I'm a proud member of VHEMT. "May we live long and die out."

M3:
I'll never get cable again. Not unless they go for an "al Fresco" model, where you pay, say, $9.95 a month for the box and connection, and then pay $1-to-3 a month for each of the channels you want to see, rather than $50 a month for 120 channels with the 2 or 3 you want.

The defining moment in my "Time to get rid of cable" debate was when I surfed through the four! religious channels I never watched, then hit 3 "different" sports channels, all SHOWING THE SAME AUSTRALIAN RULES FOOTBALL GAME.
Okay, it was 3AM. But isn't that the supposed point of cable? That there's always something to watch?

The reality is that there's NEVER anything to watch. Anybody else get all excited when they got Cartoon Network, then grumble when they realized that it was all Scooby fuckin' Doo?

Thanks for the recommendation, though. It sure sounds like something I'd love. But I also didn't get cable when Penn & Teller's BULLSHIT! went on the air. Much as I would've liked to...

Edited by author 01-28-2004 08:28 PM
I knew there was a reason I am electing not to reproduce.
'I like CHEEZE!!' is it.

Ironically, there's no way that precious, precious cheese can make kids that wired. Main-lining Pixie-stix, yes....

mmm...cheeese....

On other topics - Kitsch lovers and Mysties, if you haven't yet been here ~ http://www.archive.org/movies/prelinger.php, and you have broadband, you're about to go to heaven. It may not have Mr B Natural (yet!), but it has SQUARE-DANCING LUCKY STRIKES!!

Edited by author 01-28-2004 02:07 AM
Splut! Found another reason for cable - MythBusters! Two ubergeeks use science to disprove common urban myths! And they're wacky! Today one of the examples was a bullet shooting through a plane or a plane's window will not suck you out, and the American Graffiti police car rear axle gag doesn't hold water. They're so entertaining, they're kinda hot... New favorite phrase: "I reject your reality and substitute my own!"

Lilly - actually, checking out Telemundo today, I think the stories are dubbed. The lips match the words about 1/3 of the time. Why they are dubbing spanish with spanish, I dunno. And the asian soaps... they dub in another language then subtitle in creative characters as well. I'll keep an eye out for any english, but in the four months I've been here, not a single one. The only spanish I've learned is "hoy", which I looked up online anyway. Pft. It's just spoken too fast!

Music videos - if it looks homemade, I won't like it :) The splashier it is, or if it's on MTVEspanol, I will like!

"If it's a bunch of guys in cowboy hats and matching suits, chances are I won't like the music. A good rule for life, actually; when you see a group of guys in cowboy hats all dressed alike, change the channel or better yet, run away quickly."

hahahahaha, sorry, you just discovered "banda" music. it is not to be confused with the "band" music you know. and yeah, if you can read without moving your lips, chances are you won't like it. it's the same case here. actually, are some of the guys packing accordions? that'd definitively mark it as banda music. also, it might be the equivalent of country, i dunno.

Damn enter key! Damn library kompyuter! Damn me!

Billy boy, now when I go home and finally set up the new vcr/dvd player, I'll have to watch Monster A Go Go. Thank you. "There was no monster..."

Zef dahlink, the only thing worse than my inability to translate Spanish well or quickly is the stuff Altavista gives me via babelfish. The latest:

"from where comes tánto Spanish, young lady? it hides dark a last one to us?"

LOL, well alrighty then! :::Slaps self::: Uhm, I don't dig on Mana a whole lot either, although not long ago I saw an oooold video of theirs (circa 1990) and I was all, wow, that's when their singer used to bathe regularly!

M3, you can't tell me that watching novelas *hasn't* helped your bilingualism to some extent. Hell, some of the ones on Telemundo are subtitled in English! (Though I always feel like that's *cheating,* somehow, at least at this point I can definitely tell when the subtitles aren't accurate.)

Dang, I don't get any Japanese or Korean soap operas...maybe I will if I ever have cable again, though in truth I'm now just waaaay happy at getting Mas Musica TeVe, which is about as close as I'll get to having MTV Latino again. My main rule for videos? If it's a bunch of guys in cowboy hats and matching suits, chances are I won't like the music. A good rule for life, actually; when you see a group of guys in cowboy hats all dressed alike, change the channel or better yet, run away quickly.

well, Splut, just wait until I make my own website where I post pictures of you doing unspeakable things with obese, muu-muu wearing MONKEYS! Ha, take that! and I won't tell you where it is, but I'll tell everyone else and we'll all laugh! HAHAhahhahahahhahahahhaha!

Bill - my children are the spawn of Satan - how did you know? oh no wait, we just haven't had any school for the past week because of all this snow and ice and if i have to play candyland or sorry once more i'm gonna implode!! (she says as the snow continues to fall and the small child comes tentatively over to her with ... GO FISH CARDS!!!) I don't know about fishing but I might drown myself in the tub if this weather keeps up.

it is insanity to live in a land where frozen water falls from the sky!!! i wish i were a cat wherein my only duties would be to eat, sleep and demand attention from my human servants.

You are entirely correct about how much control customer service people have, and that it's better to be nice to them. I work customer service for a bank now (taking calls 8 hours a day, every day). If people are nice I will go out of my way to help them, even bend the rules a bit.

If people call and start out by being hostile and yelling at me, I'll dig in my heels. I'll help them if I have to, but only the minimum amount required.

Bill,

I had a dream about your cats.

They were naked.

happy belated birthday to Mimi :)

and the horse link was funny. how I have the tune stuck in my head.

Okay gang. NOW!!

***WEDGIIIIEEEE*****!!!!!

Well, YOU guys wedgie him. He IS naked, after all...
oh don't ask me HOW, just do it!...

Hey, looka me! I'm posting and nobody can read it! The site's down, and none of you bookmarked the comments page like I do!

Looka me! I'm running around naked singing the Speed Racer theme song, and you can't tell! It's only me here!

Here he comes, here comes Speed Racer, he's a demon on wheels! VROOM!

Know what? All of you have bad breath and oozing genital warts! Hey, if I'm not right about that, speak right up!
What's that? The sound of no one speaking up, is it? So, like, how do y'all deal with your oozing? Buy Depends in bulk and mumble to the cashier, "They're for my granny"?
How very, very sad for you. You and your genitals.

He's a demon and he's gonna be chasin' after someone! OH NO, SPEED! Look out! SCREECH CRASH POW!

Guess what! Now I'm making fun of your children! If you don't have kids, I'm making fun of your eggs or sperm. YOUR GENETIC MATERIAL IS INFERIOR TO MINE! You will surely give birth to inhuman monstrosities, like the next Michael Jackson or Ann Coulter. Argue away if I'm not totally hitting homeruns on these observations.
Hmm, what's that? The meek silence of the shamed? How sad for your DNA. Your DNA, and your freakishly malformed offspring.

I now am making fun of your mothers. Your moms so dumb, in school she copied off of Dubya's tests! Am I wrong? Speak up, can't hear you! How sad for your stupid mom. Who is also most certainly grotesquely obese. Like a manatee in a muu-muu.

Go, Splut Racer, GOOOO!

Of course, you can deny all of my claims, which I must say are quite fair and balanced. You can deny them right up until next year, or when my site comes back online, whichever comes first.

Oops! You're reading this, so guess which came first! I WIN!!!!!!!!!

Edited by author 01-26-2004 12:23 AM
Hey, just a quick observation on Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow: The producer is not the dreaded Dino De Laurentiis, but two other De Laurentiises (De Laurentiii?) by the names of Aurelio and Raffaella. Unfortunately it looks like they might all be related, so it might still be bad. Here's hoping that the rest of the family has a different take on filmmaking. Oh man, what a pun! Heh! That was unintentional though, I swear.

Edited by author 01-25-2004 11:42 PM
Ok, ok... lesseeee

"Not surprisingly, London Taco Bell food was different than that in the U.S."

"And *these* are the folks who eat prawn-flavoured EVERYTHING?!! "

the reply is:
http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=05262003

all of you should read achewood, too.

"until I broke a tooth on one (dang, when they say they're 'chewy granola,' they're not kidding!). I pretty much just do anything I can microwave, which means stuff like Lean Cuisine etc., or sandwiches. I only have steak once in a blue moon, but I love it when I do, since I know I have those canine teeth for a *reason.*"

The reply is lenghty...:


""Oh? What? Me? No, Dmitriy, I'm not one of those. Homo sapiens is an omnivore. Our teeth are
not those of vegetarians. The enamel isn't thick enough. That's sort of a political movement, the
vegans. Some of them won't even wear leather shoes because leather's an animal product." Killgore
ate half a meatball to show what he thought of that. "I even like hunting."
"Oh? Where does one do that here?"
"Not on the Project grounds. We have rules about that, but in due course I'll be able to hunt deer,
elk, buffalo, birds, everything I want," Killgore said, looking out the huge windows.
"Buffalo? I thought they were extinct," Popov said, remembering something he'd heard or read
long before.
"Not really. They came close a hundred years ago, but enough survived to thrive at Yellowstone
National Park and in private collections. Some people even breed them with domestic cattle, and
the meat's pretty good. It's cal led beefalo. You can buy it in some stores around here."
"A buffalo can breed with a cow?" Popov asked.
"Sure. The animals are very close, genetically speaking, and cross-breeding is actually pretty
easy. The hard part," Killgore explained with a grin, "is that a domestic bull is intimidated by a
bison cow, and has trouble performing his duty, as it were. They fix that by raising them together
from infancy, so the bull is used to them by the time he's big enough to do the deed.""

From Rainbow Six, by Tom Clancy.

I don't like mana. all their music sounds alike to me. so i don't think i have watched that video. most of the TV we get is amerikan, but we also get Korean soap operas, who at least my aunts like.

LJ mamaceta (variation of mamacita one read in a chat room.. still makes me laugh) de donde viene tánto español, señorita? nos oculta un oscuro pasado?

Edited by author 01-25-2004 06:11 PM
I did see the Save Disney and did think of TheArtSlave :) Burbank is beeyoutiful, should you care to relocate (again).

LJMama - I watch Spanish videos and soap operas. I have no grasp of what's going on, but the people are so PRETTY! And angry. I also have this addiction to a Korean soap opera about four girlfriends and I think a rock star or something that one wants to date? Any chance to watch foreign TV, I watch. I saw a "game show" that I think was Japanese that was a mix of science and drawing skills that would be a huge hit here in the US. But no. We get My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance. Like thin people can't be obnoxious?! Hmpf.

Oops, one more thing, noisyass annoying people next to me notwithstanding; there is absolutely NO damn Mexican food in Wales! And in most of the U.K., for that matter! So even though Taco Bell is a sad excuse for "Mexican" food, I gotta tellya, when a group of us American and Canadian gals saw the Taco Bell in Piccadilly Circus (alas, no longer there, at least when I visited last in '96), there was a tremendous amount of heartfelt shrieking shortly followed by sprinting in its direction.

Not surprisingly, London Taco Bell food was different than that in the U.S. (I remember the taco chips were *way* more heavily salted), but this did serve to make our British friends curious as to what all the screaming was about, so a few weeks later back at our dorm, we'd gotten our parents to send us tortillas, seasoning, refried beans, etc. and we served as good of a Mexican feast as you'd expect from a buncha gringas from New Hampshire, Colorado and Cali. (For the record, our Brit pals absolutely adored every last bite of it, utterly unlike the peanut-butter-and-jam sammiches they flinchingly ate in my honor at my bday party; I still recall with great amusement the expressions of shock and horror every last one of them had when beholding the jar of Goober Grape I'd had Brian send to me.) And *these* are the folks who eat prawn-flavoured EVERYTHING?!!

In retrospect, though, I don't know why we didn't serve any menudo at said feast, apart from the fact that none of us flat-vowelers liked it; after all, I *was* one of the few who willingly ate haggis on Burns Night, so fair woulda been fair...

Figures. The annoying people are gone, but my computer time is up, too. Basta!

Damn you, Mike! I scooted on over here *precisely* so I could the first to wish Our Billyam a Happy Year of the Monkey! (Grrrr...second place means nothing, nothing! Sorry, we Year of the Snake gals can be irritated easily this way, and I promise, this isn't just typical Amerkun over-competitiveness. Now, PMS, however, is a distinct possibility.)

No matter, at least I can (maybe?) be the first to make the latest Bill's-Alike Cats in the Media Report: there's this Mana video where all the other guys are playing guitars but one of them is holding a white cat instead (thankfully, not trying to play it or anything). I think it's the video for 'Clavado en un bar,' but apart from maybe young Zefiel, I'm probably the only one here who watches muchos videos de musica en espanol, so I assume you can live without a tape of this or anything.

(Although on an ephemerally related level, I actually *will* be able to make tapes soon, since I got a mysteriously-derived check in the mail for $200, so this means I can pay my phone bill *and* get a new vcr too. Yay! This doesn't mean you hafta make me that MST video, though; I just am still pissed that I once had Robot Monster on tape, along with 3 or 4 others from the first season that they played one time around 1995 or so, but I loaned it to my therapist who subsequently lost the tape to his wife in the midst of a nasty divorce. Taught me the hard way to be *very* judicious about who I loan MST3K tapes to. :P)

What do I eat? Well, in the past 24 hrs. it's mainly been Me and Ed's garlic chicken pizza (no mushrooms, light on the onions). However, most of the time my food intake is determined by what I can buy with food stamps, which means that my predilection for fast food (which is mainly just Taco Bell and the occasional hot dogs or pizza (ONLY from Me and Ed's, my former employers) is curtailed to the point of being a non-often treat, since I have to spend actual money on them.

Last week I stocked up on NutriGrain bars, since I'm going back to the starvation plan that allowed me to lose those 50+ lbs last year; I'd originally done Slim-Fast bars until I broke a tooth on one (dang, when they say they're 'chewy granola,' they're not kidding!). I pretty much just do anything I can microwave, which means stuff like Lean Cuisine etc., or sandwiches. I only have steak once in a blue moon, but I love it when I do, since I know I have those canine teeth for a *reason.*

Okay, this has gone on long enough, plus I am sitting next to loud people who will *not* shut the fuck up, so you get the idea...

Edited by author 01-25-2004 03:47 PM
I just got out of bed (yes, the time on this post is correct. Me and the cats, we love our sleep), and what's the first thing I read?
Zef: "the meat in a taco, well, again, it's almost anything of the cow. there are tacos of udder, stomach, eyes, brains, and bull testicles."
I'm going back to bed and never coming out.

I thought Brother bear was going to be disney's last hand drewn animation movie. so what's with that cow movie?

Oh, btw.. I actually found a link on Gonterman's latest...'comic' that is actually useful. www.savedisney.com is a site run by Roy Disney and Stanley Gold to try and gather public support to stop Eisner's Disney from its downward spiral to entertainment purgatory. You can sign up and pledge support.
Think about it. My alma mater could close at the whim of some souless exec any day (Sydney and Burbank are the only two animation units left), so if you love animation, save the Mouse!

no, no, no! no such thing as too much meat. you're just not used to it.

I should have mentioned, i'm mostly a carnivore.

Gosh, everyone's been away! I have just come back from honeymoon at Disneyworld, where I spent far too much money and needed a change of feet every day. Damn, that place is BIG. And a farking blast :)
Speaking of food, I had an unpleasant encounter with some while there. We went to 'Ohana' at the Polynesian resort where we had the big all-you-can-eat luau-style feast. Yup, perky waiters bringing you as many giant skewers of BBQ'd turkey, beef, pork and shrimp as you can possibly hold. I held mine for about 12 hours...then I had a sudden unpleasant bout of Young's Syndrome.
So in summation, there IS such a thing as too MUCH meat, methinks...

Edited by author 01-25-2004 08:18 AM
Dang, I knew I was going to forget to post this. And I'm surprised no one else has mentioned it yet.

It's the Chinese New Year, and this time it's...

The Year Of The Monkey!

Party like there's no yesterday!

I've been absent for a while - I had to scroll back 3 page's worth to find the most recent post I hadn't seen! I'm glad that the "what do you eat" subject thread hasn't died out yet.
I'm one of them thar "vegetarian" type folks. And as I have had to explain to waitress-type people in restaurants when I describe myself as such, no, I don't each chicken or fish either. I guess a lot of people associate the word "meat" with "beef", so when you say you don't eat meat, you're only talking about cows.
Anyway, I've been meatless for over 12 years now (and it bugs me that I can't remember the exact date of my last intentional non-veggie meal, but it was a specific company Christmas party that someday I will pin down). I still eat some dairy products (cheese, yogurt and sour cream) and the occasional eggs, so I'm not a vegan, but maybe someday... And I buy the Gardenburger/Boca Burger/whatever patties for lunch at work, not because I crave a meat burger, but because they are a convenient sandwich I can make quickly, that gives me protein and stuff. For "real" food, there are lots of dishes that work well if you just find substitutes for the meat, or leave it out of the sauce (lasagna, enchiladas, etc.) And I have several cookbooks with interesting casseroles and such, but nowhere as much fun as the ones Splutty has featured in his old InExOb pages, with slabs of greasy Spam(tm).
This is as long (or maybe too long) as a post should be, but I will close with a reply to a very old message posted by Bill: If you don't get set up with the Bittorrent goodness and need copies of any specific C2C (or other Adult Swim show) episodes, send an email (but not to mike#snard%com because that email is dead now due to excessive spam. Or maybe I'll just send you another email from the new correct address)

Well, i thought a bit about it and thought it'd be unfair to sorta take over this board. so i wrote it on my journal.

http://www.deadjournal.com/users/zefiel/

you can post comments there too, to see if i should continue or not.

I'm intruiged (and a lil worried) by the "tacos aren't what you think" line, so yes, please elaborate.

Considered switching to the ground turkey. the small latino grocery store close by has meat so fresh and beautiful I almost weep to see it. Compared to the big chain down the street.... They have gray meat, dripping packages, just... horrendous. I'll check prices on the turkey next time I'm out. FYI - 'Hmaburger' Helper kinda sucks. I remember the Stroganoff being better than it is now. I've eaten my fill of the Helper. If I didn't mind touching raw meat, I might make burgers, but I do so I won't.

Also, first use of a gas range. Oooh pretty fire. Funny smell. Burned pots. Oops. Can't figure out HOW to "broil" on it either. The knob says the word, but it won't turn that far. Hrm.

By the way, I like this board thing. It's neat to see all the fellow Splutaholics!

first i was going to point that out.. but then i thought 'no way i'd look like a dumb nitpicker with nothing better to do' (haven't started even homework) and then i saw it twice and thought 'maaaaybe ish the brand name'. then i decided that no one would care, and see, Bill cared first. we don't know how good we have it, guys.

since monkies have been mentioned.. what is better, japanese or african monkeys? (or, that T-rex like baboon from 'After Man'?) and yes, Bill, i paid the $60 to get it off amazon because i heard of it from YOU. what'd you have thought in grade school, that you'd be shaping so many lives?

Edited by author 01-24-2004 01:33 AM
I spelled it "hmaburger" twice in a row because...You read it wrong! It's ALWAYS been spelled "hmaburger"! What are you, some DAMN HICK? You take a bite and go "HMMM--a burger!" You DAMN HICKS! Do you think anyone would eat at Arbies if they spelled it the right way--RABIES?! HA?! MR AND/OR MS HICKTOWN LIVING HICK?!
I like monkeys cuz they cavort! Cavort, lil' chimpies, CAVORT!

Hee!

I'm sorry. i was on a holiday. was unexpected.

I was in the local Yam state. really, it's purely coincidental. Yams are sold at bus stops in that state. hell, buses *stop* after a toll booth so people can get on an' offer you YAMS.

Anyway, we went to a hot spring resort thing. it's grown a lot over the years, and mother wouldn't stop comparing it to the one in sprited away, which is big since she's hates everything japanese but sprited away. i don't find it that alike, 'cept for the bridge. the place didn't have railroads under its bridge, but a good 25 meters over a river of hot hot hot volcanic water and sharp rocks. the bridge was wooden, and so i made sure to move across my 200lbs very quickly each time. i'm just scaredy like that.

I love 'em amerikan words. well, no, there's no such thing as 'El wrongo' (which does not keeps me from liking it) but you could say... hell, keep using el wrongo. spanish would be 'error' 'mal' 'incorrecto' which is just BORING. keep using it and i'll start using it here so soon you'll be right about it being said here. (anyone saw that simpsons ep where homer writes on a house he's building 'el homo'? i remember that scene a lot and still laugh. the ep's named large marge. ish bit old there)

So uuuh... i eat.. i eat.. LOTS. mexican food must be a nightmare for the GIs not used to it, but when i was at work i usually had leftovers for breakfast, then nice home made food at lunch (which would be tomorrow's leftovers too) (being able to take lunch in your home is a blessing) and sometimes dined junk food. now that i quit (yeah, sorry didn't told before. been a busy week) i eat usually more homemade food at grandmas.

now, this is an incomplete explanation, as food here, i daresay, is radically different. but this message's been too long already. i can write lots about food if you'd like me to. it'd surprise you. TACOS ARE NOT WHAT YOU THINK. also, we eat cow brains on a regular basis.

Now i go, lots of homework left due today later.

When I was illegally fired by Sam Goody at the worst of the last of the Bush Recessions, I had to get real frugal real quick. I lived on Hmaburger Helper, as the Sunday paper with the want ads always had coupons for it. I discovered that ground turkey sold for half the price of hmaburger, had less fat, less salt and hey! just had more meat because you weren't paying for the added weight of the gristle and blood. So I got off the red meat and onto poultry.

Just recently I started eating a lot of fish, largely because it's so easy to cook (set it on broil and then squeeze some lemon juice on it and yer done. Except for the "Byron screaming for some" part). Then the same day the FDA said "Eat very little fish, there's too much mercury in it," in its typical "we're idiots" fashion, another fragment of the Bushites said that they were relaxing mercury pollution standards. I stopped buying fish this month, and won't even buy fish-related Friskies for the kids. If the Gummint says it ain't good enough for pregnant women or babies, it's not going into my kids' stomachs.

I usually have a small Wendy's salad for lunch, then a big serving of MEEEEAT! at dinner. Poultry almost exclusively now, given the current Jakobs-Kreuzfeldtian nature of American cow. I eat a bit of beef now and again, but not a lot. I get some razzing about that at work ("It was only one mad cow!"), but then I point out that it takes 2-3 years for it to turn up in a cow, and 20-30 years for it to turn up in people. Then the conversation tends to change to something else besides the spongiforming of one's brainal parts.

I had the WORST hot wings today. And yesterday, as they took 2 days to eat. That's what I get for getting them from Stop 'n' Shop and not Tasty Chick. Byron grabbed one from the stovetop and is now pretending to eat it--these are reasonably hot. Kill Kill and I are watching him try not to gag on the sauce too much.
Silly kitten! He gets another minute before I snag the bone from him. What a doglike cat he is.

Awwww, lemme clarify!

When I was growing up we always had real food, real dinners. McDonalds was a HUGE treat. Occasionally even dad made some stuff, but on his nights he'd whip up tuna sandwiches or breakfast with french toast and omlets and stuff. When my brother and parents got into Scouting big time, we'd have more nights at the local "family" restaurant or they'd bring me back something from somewhere.

I moved out, lived on my own, and when I went home on weekends we'd always go out and have huge dinners at my expense: Olive Garden, Red Lobster, LoneStar, nice chinese places, etc. Appetizers, drinks, deserts... I thought it was awesome I could treat everyone after all those years of being a financial parasite, right?

Then dad got sick with cancer, and with him not wanting to eat much, mom mostly made herself salads or sandwiches for herself. When dad died and I moved back in the house a year later, mom was depressed, my brother was working most evenings or out with friends, so neither of us were really interested in cooking. I don't eat salads, sandwiches bore me, so I'd ride along to get fast food.

At that point it was just something to keep from fainting, didn't really care much what it tasted like, so I didn't care about going out or not. And since I usually forgot to eat until 6pm, by then it was a case of "get me food NOW". Many a migraine were caused by "Wait, did I ever eat today?" Sounds really supermodel-stupid, but hey, I was running a website, I spent a lot of time online in my room.

So no, my mommy wasn't really a bad mommy! LOL! That's why I love tacos so much right now, I haven't had them since I was in high school. Oh, and my current bad eating habits are also somewhat related to not finding common items in the grocery store (canned mushrooms among other things) and also not having a car to drive around to find the White Honkey SuperMarket. :) On the plus side, my fast food intake is pretty nill.

M3 "Living with mom again, we had mostly fast food for dinners. Chicken nuggets, KFC, Taco Bell, chinese... ."

Huh. I had a pretty ideal childhood but this shocks me. In my parents' house we had to be home for dinner at 6 pm and it was always homemade. Lasagne, meatloaf, chicken and rice, homemade soup, homemade spaghetti sauce, always a vegetable or salad. And it was healthy, too. Plus homemade desserts.

Wow, I need to call my parents and say thanks.

I can't remember the last time I ate meat.
Also, chocolate soy milk is surprisingly delicious.

Splut needs to get BitTorrent. Then Splut can download all kinds of TV shows. Like Adult Swim, I'm sure. I should go look. Hm.

Cable has SOME good shows. Cooking (which I don't do), Animal Planet, Discovery channel... I just discovered CSI and CSI:Miami. Forensics. And Forensics:With hot latino guy. X-Files is on syndication on TNT. HBO still runs G-String Divas. ;) I kid.

I eat ground beef a lot because it's cheap and the striated muscle is processed. I seem to have your same issues with digesting steaks. Chicken, I LOVE. Turkey, yum. But I don't do any real cooking, so it's tacos and manwich, lipton noodles and sauce, stouffers french bread pizza. Just branched out into french fries and fish sticks (in the oven, not fried) and a fun food called Taquitos!

I seem to remember having more diverse meals last time I lived alone. Living with mom again, we had mostly fast food for dinners. Chicken nuggets, KFC, Taco Bell, chinese... Lunches when I was working was mostly chicken when I could get it. I could eat chicken all day, every day. Yum. Damn you. Now I want chicken.

i'm also cable tv challenged. i live waaay out on a farm in the middle of nowhere and they just don't seem to think i'm worth the million feet of cable it would take to reach me. i get the three local channels and fox and think that's enough garbage for anyone to watch. i spend a lot of time outside when it isn't 15 below a penguin's hiney.

not a meat eater myself. i have cows and once you get to know them they become pets so eating them seems kinda wrong. chicken, turkey or pepperoni is as meaty as i can stand.

last night I made wild rice and breaded cauliflower. it was much much much better than I would have expected cauliflower to ever taste, and I like cauliflower. most of my coworkers and friends have asked me at one time or another whether I'm a vegetarian because I like eating vegetarian food (meaning not meat dishes). silly humans. as iff only vegetarians could eat a meal that doesn't involve dead animals. no, I like me a hamburger sometimes, but I prefer plants.

I eat... a variety of non-exotic food. Breakfast is often some yogurt, lunch is an apple, two rice cakes, and a Sprite. Dinner... sometimes a fruit/veggie plate, sometimes I'll cook myself something like steak & vegetables, or steamed artichoke & snow crab, or veggie stew. Oftimes I'll go the cheap & easy route and have spaghetti & ragu and a salad.

Most of my diet is fruits & veggies & grains. Screw Atkin's, I eat meat but only in smaller amounts 'cause I just don't like consuming big slabs of flesh. (Maybe this is why only the Red Cross will take my blood; everyone else rejects me as anemic.)

What do I eat?
I eat meat!

Seriously, I'm big on meat: chicken, turkey, beef, pork, liver, kidneys. Yummy stuff; it really builds one up. (My hemoglobine is high enough that it would get me disqualified from track & field on suspicions of blood doping...)

Add carrots, tomatoes, apples and potatos for vitamins, and loads and loads of rye bread. "As long as there is bread, there is food."

Oh, and don't forget milk, or pickled fish, either!

Edited by author 01-23-2004 12:22 AM
M3:
Splut decided the $40 a month WASTED on cable was better spent on ADSL.
Splut hasn't had cable for years.
Splut doesn't even get to see Adult Swim, wahhh!
Splut needs to ask Snard for copies, as TIVO-ing friend ain't supplying any tapes.
Splut...has no..Space...GHOOOOST!!

Lilly & M3:

Brilliant uniques are my target audience.

So up top it presently sez,

"Views: 756. Unique: 156."

I think that said uniqueness applies to all herein. Shit, it's time for the bus. Erm, more...later...when I have something more relevant but possibly less cogent to say.

Edited by author 01-22-2004 08:20 PM
Heh. I've never heard of Something Awful before, but then, that's what The Splut is for - odd links to wacky places. Oh the places I've been.... I've seen the cartoon porn before, but never EVER have I come across Sonic the Hedgehog or TailSpin. Didn't Gonty write something about Tailspin? Most (that I stress I found accidentally) have been incestuous things with Jetsons or Simpsons or other popular mainstream things *coughDisneycough*. I'm not a big cartoon porn person. Although porn is cartoonish by default.

Anyway, just wondering if Splut watches "Monk" on USA. Last episode I saw, the guy solved two crimes just by reading their newspaper articles. One was all the way over in France. And he solved it. Brilliance is so sexy. Off to read Cell 13!

Re "Cell 13":
Got some of the red herrings, the rats, the pipe, the playground, one bribe and the inferred need for some string to wrap a rat around. That's as far as I put it together. I got completely distracted by the "acid!" bit, which is a pretty brilliant bit of misdirection. I did LOL when I found out where he got the pen.
I realize that this story is literally a century old, but back then they built playgrounds right outside of maximum security prisons?

How old is the story? He uses 'phone in place of telephone. Not "phone," phone with a ' in place of the "tele." Like how people say "cell phone" instead of "cel" as they did just a few years ago.

Odd lines near the end: "They paused for several minutes." Repeatedly. They don't write 'em like that for the MTV generation!

"I found cartoon porn. "

Omigosh. probably you don't read Something Awful at all.

"I have no idea what's going on, as the text on the first page is in asian characters"

No, you don't read Something Awful.

I don't know what to do. i don't want to be evil. but this is so unexpected. an innocent person still to the evils of the net!

chief wiggum - too funny.

come on man...the legos were cool in their own lego kinda way... and if the reverand is at home playing with legos he isn't at the bar drinking with whores.

Remember how we thought Gonty was a lil touched in the head for his whole "write about cartoons!" thing?

I found cartoon porn. Including, yes, a Sonic strip! (no pun). I have no idea what's going on, as the text on the first page is in asian characters, and I really haven't gone further, but now, at last, proof there is someone as messed up, if not more, than Gonterman.

Surely the 500+ views the strip rec'd can't ALL be from Davey-kins? Or can it? *looks ill*

Edited by author 01-19-2004 11:07 PM
wolfmagicwomyn:
That's more of a Kisrael question, given the Legos, but...The New Testament? That's the lame part of the page! The Old Testament's where the real blood'n'guts'n'sex'n'"THAT was in the BIBLE?!?!" are! I linked to that a coupla years ago.

My only explanation is "Some of these Lego guys have waaaay too much time on their hands."

Case in point: Life-Size Han Solo in Carbonite. Life. Size.

thoughtviper.....must go here.....so he can talk about it and explain it to me!!!!!!!

http://www.thereverend.com/brick_testament/the_gospels/index.html

GONTERMAN!!! Squeeeeee! Man, everytime I feel like the most useless f*** in the world, Gonterman pops up. RAWK! Thanks for the links.

Modesto public library. Hm. I have a Korea Town branch of the LA public library six blocks, wanna hit from there? It'd be all exotic and crap. :)

I'll have to double check with my apt. mgr on the pet situation... but everytime I pass an empty box on the street or sidewalk I peek in to check and see if karma has granted me a fluff ball. Eh. Maybe I should just go steal a chicken from the yard a block over. No lie. Chickens. In the yard. We're only a block south of Wilshire Blvd, wtf yo!

Edited by author 01-17-2004 02:13 AM
Woo! lotsa messages lost on me! wee.

I'm sorry, i don't read political commentary or whatever. i mean, i don't even watch news here. pwease.

In other things, i finally got my lot of toys i had been saving since i started working. wish my camera worked, then you'd see batman vs hulk vs aliens vs predator vs he man vs skeletor.

Also, i wonder about your reaction to this:

http://apps.jaybill.com/article.php?article_id=23

a kitty fell down a 3rd floor, owner needs money.

Spacey:
Scalzi was quite pleasant in his link back, actually. I prly dissed more that Canadian "you're a dumbass" guy than he did me.
Weird thing: His AOL blog today had a link to "Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow" making mention of the De Laurentiis connection. When I find that rare outside link to me, I confess to only reading the part about me, me, MEEEE!! But did he actually...read the rest of the page? A coincidence, I'm sure.
Mainly sure.
And I'm still scratching my head over why he wrote that link to the article the way he did, too. If you read the comments to that post, no one addresses that. If he'd written it to reflect the article's actual content, I might've still linked to the anti-Lileks article, but I wouldn't have mentioned his post.

MiMi:
I wasn't kidding when I referred to Scalzi as my fave net writer. Unlike Lileks, he actually DOES keep his lighter stuff in one place and his rants in another. I Hate Your Politics not only made me laugh my guts out (requiring a trip to the emergency room and several stitches), but also caused me to send a fan letter to him. In effect, it said (without me knowing that there was a connection between them) that "You're better than Lileks! And not a big fat tardo like him!" (Okay, it was put a bit more diplomatically than that)
AND--he has CATS!

Oh my. I was wondering if Scalzi would have anything to say to you.

Billy boy, you're forgiven--just keep in mind that according to Mapquest, it's approx. 88 miles between my house in Motown and my rheumatologist's office in Sacto. (It also is purportedly a 1 hr. 37 minutes drive, but I've knocked it out considerably faster than that when there was no traffic...and of course, when I still had a car.)

Actually, your East Coast sense of dimensions is highly reminiscent of my friend Julee from NH; after I'd picked her up at SFO and we were around Pleasanton (approx. halfway to my house), she asked, "Are we still in California? Back home we would have gone through several states by now!"

(This was after Julee had recovered from her little freak-out on the Bay Bridge; since this was around 1991, you could still see the segment that had collapsed in the Loma Prieta quake of '89, so of course I had to point this out to her as we drove over it. Poor lil' New England gals don't deal well with such points of interest, or at least Julee didn't.)

Sure, Camilla, c'mon over! It's only been in the 40's daytime, 30's at night, which is why I'm perfectly comfortable today in a short-sleeved sweater underneath my leather jacket. (Stop me before I start doing a daily blog of my wardrobe!) Maybe los NoCal'ers need to organize a Splutopia Convention in Bill's honor sometime?

(Oh, and yes, the Modesto library is most definitely me, though if it *isn't,* said person[s] should send up a flare, already. Birds of a feather and all that.)

Edited by author 01-15-2004 09:19 PM
Mimi:
http://friends.portalofevil.com/sfs.php?si=3&fi=000002101
No updates since November.
As to the Lightheaded Latte or whatever--
"DOGULAS ADAMS"!!! AHHH-hahahhahaha!!!!!!!!
C'mon, Snard! Read some more! There's a talking rat!

This is...kind of odd to say, but I wrote a Yamsylvanian folktale. Accidentally. I'm sorry.

http://www.livejournal.com/users/nadadoll/1149.html

You want a bit of a chuckle in the face of such desecration of Douglas' infintely-superior creations? Go check out Davey's forum on the same site. Quite a few threads started, but noone's answering. You can hear the crickets! :D

The bets are on - who reckons Marvin will 'suddenly' start working at Davey's cafe and become a cheerful well-adjusted robot?

Hyuk, "The BEAT! of Hartford! Feel the beat of Hartford!"
Lordy, that little trip down memory lane makes me want to Add a little class!
To my summer!
At the U-ni-ver-sit-teee of Hart-Ferrd!
Now, Lilly Joe, I reckon we're gonna hafta take it outside if'n you're sayin' that these here Nutmeggers wouldn't know our Coloma from our Colma, or our Manteca from our Moraga....but can we take it outside at your place? It's too goddamn cold here.

Edited by author 01-15-2004 01:24 PM
"Hitchhicker's Guide of the Galaxy"?????

"Dogulas Adams"???????????

You'd think if he was giving a "tip of the hat" to someone, he would at least try to spell his book title (and name!) right.

I didn't go any further than the opening page, and I have no intentions of reading further.

(Yes, I'm a huge fan of Adams and his works.)

What is the sound of one head exploding?

http://livewire.keenspace.com/d/20040101.html

GONTERMAN FANS - our Messiah has risen again and plagiarising from frame 1!!
Note to Douglas Adams fans - you are NOT going to like this...

Negaduck and Bill: Speaking of Gonterman... I used to have a link to a Foxfire Studios Portal of Evil forum but lost it. Not that it had much new to offer of late, but ARE there still public forums for the Gon? (Apart from the 'hey, I'm gonna draw MORE Bakabreakers, if anyone gives a fuck' blog he does himself ;))...

Edited by author 01-15-2004 11:27 AM
I confess, I've never read Scalzi before, but was a long-time Lileks fan until he turned into a foaming-at-the-mouth warnut. 60 000 hits a day and 4th place-winning warblogger? Like hell your words are just after-hours fluff, pal!
However, like Perrin, I still have time for him when he's at the Institute or child/dog does something cute..

I agree, Scalzi totally mischaracterized that article on Lileks. I wonder what his motivations were for doing so.

"It's 30 miles wide and 60 long"

I think that's the size of the Twin Cities Metro Area (being Minneapolis, St. Paul, and all the surrounding suburbs). Of course, we have one of the worst sprawl problems in the nation. All that wide flat farmland being gobbled up to build McMansions and chain retailers.

Lilly:
I only knew that Sacromento is in NoCal, so every time I saw a hit from Sacromento I thought it was you. Didn't realize that there were 2 other Sacromentians here. I also figured that you were the hit from "modesto public library," but I thought that Modesto was to Sacro as Vernon is to Manchester (the next town over). If you live in CT all your life, you get an odd idea of scale. It's 30 miles wide and 60 long, so LA to you is like Virginia to me.

Yeah, I could record Robot Monster for you, although that requires swapping VCRs around (and it's really not as funny as I remembered it).

Camilla:
"Who's New England's Rising Star?"
Are you old enough (like me) to remember when the revitalizing slogan of the moment was "The Beat of Hartford"?
Immediately, there were bumper stickers that said "The Heart of Beatford," and every disaffected loner weirdo (such as me!) thought that they were hilarious.
Ho boy, ADRIAN'S LANDING! That'll work! Just like Constipation Plaza and the Civic Center didn't! Like Herbert Hoover said, revitalization is just around the corner!

Negs:
Don't deny you didn't think it...
Gonterman writes a story where the Quik Bunny is Roll's brother and Sonic's cousin! Note the family resemblance!

Wakboth:
"I'm certain it's something blindingly obvious, but why's the Newest not 5.1 but 68?"

It's extremely NOT obvious. I changed the numbering convention from the old Geo page to "1.0" when thoughtviper.com went live, but I still kept naming the files sequentially. 5.1 is new68.htm, 5.0 new67.htm, etc. I waa just making more work for myself with the new naming convention, so I suddenly gave up and went back to the old way.

Now you know. And knowing is half the battle!

Bill, I know that being from CT means you don't know the difference between Sacramento and Modesto (nor the location of Hearst's Castle, for that matter), but c'mon. Saying I live in Sacto is like saying you live in...uhm, NYC? Whatever city is a good hour and a half away from you.

(The fact I spent my New Year's up in Sac avec niecii and nephew, staying less than a mile away from the State Capitol [and, presumably, the Governator] is entirely irrelevant.)

~Lilly Joe, from the Town of Mo!

PS: You've got Robot Monster? One of the sacred 12 eps I don't have on tape? One of these days, say when I've got a working vcr again, I'm gonna hafta send you a blank tape, bud-dy.

I popped open the photo in photoshop and turned the level of yellow waaaaaaaay down in the color levels menu thing.

"The memories a pet gives you are worth far more than the memory of an object."

Aww. Such sweetness. My kitty never breaks anything, she just barfs on the rug. But the memory of her purring lasts far longer than the memory of her barf.

Aaah, shite, Bill. I knew I was setting myself up for reprimand...I know it's not the state, it's just Storrs, the anti-college town - you now, the "town" with no town? The big-box Flagship Basketball Corporation with it's own zipcode? And no parking?
Oh, and the frickin goddamn freezing climate (we do get those hedonistic 3.5 months of luscious humid green).
And being yoked to a complete flatliner of a co-worker who cried all week when John Ritter croaked and has the gall to "decorate" with Thomas Kincaid "artwork" within my line of vision.
Please pass the Xanax and the sunshine.
Thank heavens for Ocean State, the Sal Arm and the Town dump. If not for these fine establishments, I'd be forced to shop at Buckland...
*shudder*
Oh, and hey! It HAS gotten to be really fun watching the porcine Johnny Rowland twisting in the wind. Some dreams really DO come true! Is it unduly harsh to wish upon him one thousand suppurating rectal boils?
Go CT! Go CT!
Who's New England's Rising Star?
J. Brolin: "I know you are...but what am I."

Edited by author 01-14-2004 09:20 AM
Oop! I did get your note, and then it slipped my frickin' mind. When I get home this evening I'll see what I have, and then start making zipfiles for you. And if I forget, please E-nag me!

Superman and the Quik Bunny. Eurrrrgh. After reading all sorts of bitching about how wrong crossovers in fanfic are, it's nice to see that there is some official stuff out there that is at least as stupid.

Hey, I know! The Quik Bunny plays DOOM! "Mix and stir! Mix and stir! Your guts are chocolatey!"

I'm certain it's something blindingly obvious, but why's the Newest not 5.1 but 68?

M3:
Cats'll swallow stuff. You just need to make sure nothing of the wrong type is there from them to swallow. Like the time I wrestled a rubber band from kitten Kill Kill's mouth.

They WILL break shit. Lots of shit. They don't mean to, of course, so the only point in getting mad about it would be to scare them. And that doesn't help. If they break something, even something important, swallow hard and remember that it wasn't the cat who broke it, but you who left it there to get broken. Be ready for that.

The memories a pet gives you are worth far more than the memory of an object.

Camilla:
Ah, no, didn't see them. Prly woulda noticed them, given the description.
*sigh* BIG!Lots is now a rarity for me. Dollar Tree just isn't the same.

I would argue the "boring" aspect of CT. I've heard from people in the Midwest who have to drive 2 hours to go to the mall. We can drive 2 hours (or less) to go to NYC or Boston! Well, not that you'd WANT to most of the time, big cities dirty crowded and them people there crazy and smell bad you know, but still.
Maybe we have different ideas of what's interesting, but you're right next to Jorgensen, and I'm 15 minutes from several theaters that get indie cinema months before some major cities in the rest of the country do. Show of hands: Who else saw "Memento" or "Being John Malokovich" before their national release? How long did you wait for "Princess Mononoke," "Spirited Away," "Metropolis" before it showed up in a theater--if it ever did? Anyone else getting "Tripletts of Belleville" for a whole WEEK?
Where else can you hear about NOTHING BUT college basketball for 6 months?!?! No, wait, that IS boring.

CT is perfect for me. Weather excluded.

Your turn, Camilla!

Mimi:
While Jessica owns many a Kermit, I'm only have 2 Oscars and 2 Gonzos. Oscar and Gonzo are my role models! What a surprise, huh?
My main Muppet sympathies lie with "Muppets Tonight." That's a series that really needs a DVD box set. Favorite lines (sorry, you'll have to fill in your own context):
"What's for dessert?" "RASPBERRY SORBET!"
"Nobody loves Robot Lincoln!"
THOR, God of Thunder: "OH, my medieval BUTTOCKS!"

That crappy DVD of Popeye cartoons did have a 1936 short looking behind the scenes at Fleischer studios. All the in-betweeners were HOTT! You would've fit right in!

Negs!
Neggy neggy neg neg NEG!
NEGADUCK!
Sorry, just trying to get your attention.
Did you get my email on the JW situation? I can do it on my end, but I kinda need to know exactly what I have to do to save them real soon. Although I will still need that one missing txt file either way. Lemme know, one way or the other.

Gally:
That is a lot closer to the original. What'd you do to it?

You know, my big drawback to getting a pet is the fact I'm a slob. The only time I really clean/organize anything is when I can't find something. I never open my bills, I still have boxes left to unpack (I moved almost four months ago?) because I don't have a place for anything. And yet... seeing your place, with tiny little... collectibles... all over every surface, I feel like "Hey, maybe I CAN own a pet and not kill it!" Have either of them ever chewed on anything? Swallowed anything? That's what I worry.

I need a scanner. I had a beautiful Epson flatbed that I forgot to pack and brother refuses to mail. I had a printer I didn't think I would need so I left it. I took my old reliable VCR that weighs 50lbs but has lasted almost 10 years. It didn't last the cross country trip. (not that I could figure how to connect it to the TV/cable, but hey). I even left my dogdamned Zim dolls that mybrother refuses to ship. *sob*

Oh jeeze, Bill. You coulda run into my Moms at Big!Lots the other day...did you notice a couple of crotchety septugenarian dykes dragging around an oxygen tank? I know, they're a dime a dozen in these joints, but the two you'll find yukking it up in the novelty farting-dolly aisle are mine. My Moms, that is. Please make a note of it.
You will all be seething with jealousy to note that I reside mere miles from El Splut - I am a 3-point shot from the UConn Campus in Storrs, CT. All remarks regarding the undesirability of this locale are not exaggerated! Goddamn cold, and boring to boot.

I sadly, do not have a lava lamp. I have an imac called Kiki and a PC called Stitch, though...
I also have lots of cool toys and stuff that I wish we had to room to put out, but we have one of those landlords who forbids anything being stuck on the walls beyond pushpins.
I SO don't get that - pinholes in the walls are fine, but NO BLU-TACK!! EVER!!!
Instead...*sigh*..very very old plushy Kermit and brand new plushy Animal have to sit on the floor along with everything else. I've caught them watching porn on Kiki a few times. Muppets...9_9
Ditto, Bill - love the Den of Splut.
But ditch the Luxembourg(the Swiss wouldn't be that dumb) Army Desktop and get a decent scanner, yes...;)

Bill, I love your home. It's full of all sorts of neat crap. Mine would be kinda like that if I had enough shelves, but I don't, so mine is a mass of books and folders and weird stuff. But, hey, I got a lava lamp.

Lava lamps are cool.

Behold! I lessen jaundice!
http://gally.sandwich.net/random/fixed.jpg
Not perfect, but it should look more like the true colors.

There's in-jokes and there's in-jokes. I confess, I've never canvassed the strip's message board to ask if anyone made the connection between 'Mr Young' and our own Splutman, Purveyor of Fine Ephemera of Considerable Inexplicality.
Not that I should probably do that TOO much - who knows, the strip could inexorably morph from the lives of Angela and Hunter to the Hilarious, Hairy, Hairbally Adventures of Councelor Young!
Then I'd have to start paying him ;)

Bill--hrrm, don't know the stop, exactly. It's off of 84...the sign says there should be a Little Caesar's (my first choice, loved that place back in Ohio, none around here) but it wasn't there, and then the McD's, at a biggish stripmall plaza thing.

Next time I make the trip I'll try to touch base w/ you ahead of time...then we could share an awkward but possibly amusing couple of minutes. "So you're Bill!" "Yup! And you're Kirk!" "Yup!" "Well!" "Well." "Like your site!" "Yours too! How are those cats of yours?" etc etc ;-)

Big Clark Bars - Dentist's Dream. PMS, not so sure, maybe diabetic shock! LOL! I have no idea what they are made of even. Man I kinda miss them now.

AsIf gear - huh, if I ever get a job again, and pay off my server bills, cost of moving expenses and loans, I will definitely invest. Pins sound neato! And I would SO buy a Camp Counselor something-or-other, but you must work in the two animals. It'd be a like a in-joke. That would be really really lame to explain!

Gally - I hear there is snow in California, I just don't care to see it much. I love walking to the store in January in shorts. And slightly sweating. I love seeing palm trees swaying in the breeze under blue skies. I love hearing presumably lewd comments in Spanish. I need no snow when I have television tapings to attend, beaches to lounge on, and celebrities to stalk ;)

Kirk:
I thought about that when I saw your CT Mickey D Triptych. Where did you see that?

If you took I-84 home, you were about 15 minutes from The Store; I-91, around 10.

Vyn:
"What's your major?" is stored in my brain next to the place where MST3K's Joel asks, "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?"

I did see myself in a fortress with a death ray and a pony and 2 monkeys and some lasagna, but I GUESS I CAN JUST GRIND MY DREAMS TO DUST LIKE PEPPER OR SOMETHING ELSE DUSTY NOW, HUH CANARY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW, that rock that I want to wind my sting around...I just noticed that you'll have to gimme some string, too.

Edited by author 01-09-2004 12:17 AM
Mimi:
I don't think that you'd move a lot of camp counselor shirts. Not with THAT hair, anyway.
But if there was one of the Small White and Bigfoot cats, you'd be sure to sell one! Maybe 2!

And he would greet the campers! He's very friendly to strangers. Too friendly, even.
I can picture Angie screaming "KITTEN! With BIG GREY FEETS!!" pretty easily.

I'm kirk of kisrael.com "fame".

I'm in the very, very cold suburbs of Boston.

I was driving back from New Jersey a few days ago...through Connecticut...almost thought about giving Bill a call and paying him a visit at the store or somethin'....

Sunny southern california, as I said before. A bit south east of LA, very near a place called Riverside.
And as for the sleigh riding and building a snowman, yap. done both! and I can do it again if I drive 45 mins up into the mountains. Thats the beauty of SoCal, if we WAAAAAANT to play in the icky cold whiteness we can. Then we go back to our nice warm sanely located houses!

bill:

you know, i always thought, "what's your major" was the stupidest way to start a conversation until i actually ended up using it.

besides, you must agree i'm not at my coherentest lately.

Bill: Why, what an excellent idea. CAMP COUNCELOR TEE! Complete with Small White >;)...
You know, if the gang ever go BACK to camp, the One with Big Grey Feets will of course have to be there to greet them ;)

Bill: It's okay, I've ordered loved ones to shoot me if I lose my accent ;)
And the tees will hopefully be done by not-cafepress. enormous range, but a) yeah, they're nose-bleedingly pricey and b)they don't do PINS. And we must have pins.
Gally: I hear ya. All the cars around here are wearing bad white toupees, poor little dogs are roped up outside their front doors for 'exercise' and it's looking to drop to *3* tonight. That's not cold. THAT'S INSANE!!
If there's a King-size Clark bar, it should be renamed 'Pre-menstrual size' ;p.

where is gally from? have you never been sleigh riding?! built a snowman?! gone skiing?! you're missing out.

canadians...they may as well be from yamsylvania

I fully admit I have no idea what cold is. And by god, I hope I never do. You people and your living where FROZEN WATER COMES FROM THE SKY!!!! Insane I tell you. INSANE.

M3:
I have a bag of "Fun-Size" Clark Bars in my fridge right now!
What are regular-sized Clark Bars called? "Responsibility-Size"?

Vyn:
I know where you're at, but not everyone else does. It seemed like a good way to open up the discussion to everyone. Like a web version of "What's your major?"

Note to anyone south of the Mason-Dixon Line or the Rio Grande:
YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT COLD IS!
In CT, the current windchill is actually lower than Finland's by 5 degrees. And Finland is pretty damn cold to start with.

Crystal:
The comments here are one big monster thread. It only changes monthly, while the topics discussed can change daily. Best bet for coherence is to read The News, then the Comments. Actually, if you want coherence, don't read either one!

Mimi:
I know you're over here in the Land of the Theoretically Still Free, but everytime I see a hit from Oz, I still assume it's you. A bit of my now internationally recognized dumbassery, I guess.
What's on the shirts? Not that camp counselor with the bad 80s hairstyle, I hope! Are they CafePress, or are they reasonably priced? ;)

when i read that yesterday, i figured it didn't apply to me since you know where i'm at.

but anyway...st. augustine, florida.

"I'm from Boulder, Land of the Broken Tailbone. Or that may just be me, as I fell down the stairs yesterday."

So you got one of those rad arse casts like Bart in that ep?

Anyway, i do that pocket patting thing all the time. it's an obsessive compulsive disorder, i have to check all the time i have whatever i have in my pockets. my jeans pockets' have a worn out area from being touched so much all the time.

And i be from Mexico, yo. (near the capital) it's very cold here lately. i be sick.

Crystal here, in Minneapolis, where it is delightfully cold (16 degrees).

The format of these comments is baffling to me. It's like one big monster thread that I have no idea how to follow.

Edited by author 01-07-2004 06:26 PM
Hello, Mimi here. Former Australian Disney artist and currently sitting on my arse designing new tshirts for my comic As If! somewhere in Michigan. We have no desks in our computer room, so while Peter Gabriel blasts 'In Your Eyes' from my iTunes, I have only the carpet to sit on.
mmmmm....synthetic.

Can someone make all this...'snow' stuff go away?

Well damn, won't let me edit my message. Was going to add that even the small hispanic grocery store has alcohol out in the aisles, but keeps stuff like Sudafed, Midol, bandaids, Pepto, Tylenol locked in a glass case that you need to get the manager to open. But you need a jug o' wine, boy, Aisle 3!

Or "Get onto I-285 and go to the end."

Originally from Pittsburgh (home of the beloved Clark bars... and ketchup), I'm now in Los Angeles. Where even the drug stores have two full aisles of liquor. I have a liquor "store" at the end of my block. "Store" meaning a wall of cold beer, a wall of misc. liquor in three sizes (papa bottle, mama bottle, nips), and various other sundry items... log bundles... 10lbs bags of rice... maxi pads... roach spray... bubble gum by the foot. KoreaTown is very very odd.

Yay, Atlanta! Where the directions to everything are: Go down Peachtree til you get to Martin Luther King.

hey Roger, maybe we're neighbors! I live in Sacramento, though I have yet to catch a glimpse of The Gropenator.

I'm from Atlanta, Georgia, one of the fastest sprawlingest cities around. Atlanta, the home of Lester Maddox and Co-Cola. Atlanta, which nearly disowned its own sewer system yet isn't ashamed to admit electing Lester Maddox. Yay, Atlanta.

Edited by author 01-07-2004 12:48 PM
I am from the Sacramento Area now with Special Governator Budget Cutting Action!

Edited by author 01-07-2004 12:16 PM
that's a goddamn expensive ticket, isn't it? is everything so expensive there in CT? don't say yes, because that was a CLEVER TRICK! I've been to CT and you CANNOT FOOL ME, mister! in fact my in-laws LIVE THERE! in EAST HAVEN! ha!

um, but they won't go to tell me how much Ann Coulter is evil because they are devoid of the humor. and old. sigh.

can I give you a rock to wind a piece of string around? and maybe one pony, but I want to ride it, too. and lasagna, mmmmmmmm. but none of that other stuff!

oh, I'm from California, too. but northern California, where all the cooooool stuff happens! *sniff*

I'm from Boulder, Land of the Broken Tailbone. Or that may just be me, as I fell down the stairs yesterday.

southwest virginia near the tennessee line. abingdon to be precise where it's colder than a well digger's arse today.

but i have to go with mike...GO PACKERS GO!!!

Edited by author 01-07-2004 04:35 PM
Wisconsin ("Go Packers! Pass the Cheeze Pleeze!") Born and raised in Kenosha, went to college in Milwaukee, lived in Watertown for 8 years, and then in Hartland for the last 20.

And Bill, you forgot one thing in your list: "I want a chair. I want to sit down for a change. I want a chair that says "Bill the Splut", and it'll be Bill the Splut's chair. It'll be beautiful. That's what I want."

PS - I like the TMBG refs. But you gotta be careful, they (or someone) will keep moving your chair.

Orlando, Florida. Please refrain from using the "D" word, thank you. :)

I'm from oh so cold & snowy southern Finland!

I'm from oh so warm Southern California!

debbieb:
Is "sw va" southwest Virginia or southern West Virginia? Or is it a new state, South West Virginia? You Southerners and your crazy secessions! I just can't keep up!

Out of curiousity, anybody else want to say where they're from? I'm from CT, a closely guarded secret which you may not know.

Canary:
Bushnell has listed the cost of the tickets, which you promised to pay. The tickets cost:
$14,000
A Prius sedan (new)
Sex with Dawn Wells
A festive fruit basket from FTD
A monkey that can sing the hits of Three Dog Night
A monkey that hates Three Dog Night, especially that one about the bullfrog, and comically smacks the other monkey with a waffle when it sings! Oh ho! Now THAT'S entertainment!!
Several small shiny things, of a type to be determined later
Wait, we've just determined that they are quarters. But only the Louisiana ones! ALL THE REST OF STAETS R GAY!!
Lasagna
An M-551 Sheridan tank
What is that you got there? I want that, too!
Britney Spears as my wife! For exactly 4 seconds. GUINNESS WORLD RECORD!
You call this lasagna?! I call it CRRRRAP!
$14,000. A second $14,000. Hey, it's the Bushnell makes these rules, not me!
Fortified mountain fortress with death ray. Would settle for fortified mountain fortress with hangover ray.
A pony
Rush Limbaugh, a baseball bat with rusty nails in it, and 5 minutes alone
A BETTER pony!
A rock to wind a string around
A prosthetic forehead to wear upon my real head
A gold tooth. In every one of the pony's teeth
A donut. A damn fine donut, if you know what's good for you
A gold tooth of my own that has a secret storage compartment for an emergency donut
Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men, blah blah blah. Where my damn donut?!
Also still waiting on the LASAGNA here!
SeXXXy sexxx with Ann Coulter! Her and me, it'd be like an episode of Stick Figure Theater!
Drifting in the afterglow with sweet, loving Ann. Baseball bat, rusty nails, etc.

Canary:
Well, that depends on when the event occurs. Odds are 5 out of 7 that it'll fall on a work night, and I work until 8, when those Bushnell things usually have already started. Though I would like to go to see my favorite media commentator!
That Ann is one sexy anorexy! I'll wear my BEST jackboots!

Bill, you have to go to this and tell us all about it. In fact I will pay for it if I have to. pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!

http://www.bushnell.org/Calendar/index.cgi/14201

Al Franken vs Ann Coulter!

glad to hear that you didn't become a feather in the old man's hat....AND i got to see a "popeye" vodka conissuer up close and personal on new years eve at my local ABC store. i was hopeful that you were exaggerating about those folks...i now see that you may have understated the issue. apparently we have them here in sw va too.

well.. a friend suggested i made some slight changes (everyone loved it, which leaves me puzzled, since nothing happened at all when i made and posted it on DJ lots ago, inspired by a fark contest of 'japanesify GTA' that i think i was too late to enter...)

so i thought you should see too.

http://www.zefiel.thenetbox.com/hamcity.jpg

Ah, Yamsylvania...Yes, I remember well the fields of yams stretching into bleak infinity. Gourd, how we hated the yams.

As to IsYam, I too once formulated a food-based religion, whereon the chief act of faith was not believing in virgin birth or raisure (raisure? what?) from the dead, but merely that I Can't Believe It's Not Butter is, in fact, butter. And if you say it's not you're a filthy heathen in the service of the Great Meatball.

Whee! yes, of course ish mine. i don't like tagging my work, as anyone who has read my journal for a while can attest to. (the only thing i tagged was a wallpaper, once) and ish old. but thanks a lot for da praise!

Hmm... I have no recall of setting that page up, but I just might have done that Geocities site. I honestly don't know.

I could zip the files into zrchives of less than 1.44 meg each so they could be stored on floppies. I take it you don't have a CD burner or zip drive?

I would like to announce that I finally made it past the "Enchanted Earth" level of Medievil. The shadow deamons aren;t so hard, but that tilting platfom at the end is a bitch.

Go Bill, save your pages! But boy, does talk about chasing pages though the google cache really take me back.*G*

New playmate. I laugh. I occasionally question why I use the term "Gourd". Now I remember. Debating if this message-y thing is better or worse than Evil Bravenet's guest map, which I covet. Hm.

Zef:
Did you make that GTA picture?
If so--it's damn funny! Great work!
If not--well, as above, but instead, "Nice link."

Thanks, Negs! I haven't even begun to figure out how much of a project this will be yet. It's a hardware issue first, as I can't download that much stuff using this, the backup computer, so I have to finally figure out what's up with the f'ed old Pookie.

Okay, checking the links, there doesn't seem to be THAT much I need to move. Some of them I'd even already moved to here (like the Yam page's SMUSA). It's mainly the comics, but less than I thought. (Assuming that they're telling the truth about merely updating pages to keep them from being deleted)

Umm, whose page is this?
http://www.geocities.com/jenwhite6/
I have no memory of making it and it doesn't fit my naming conventions from 5 years ago, but, hell--it was 5 years ago. Why would I remember?

If it'll make things any easier, I have all the old files from Jen White's comic book MiSTings. It's probably be faster to right click and save the text based MiSTings from the established site, as I might have a harder time finding those, but the original HTMLed up "miniwebs" for the comic MiSTings are still on my HD.

Lemme know if you'd like me to zip these up and put them in The Usual Secret Place for ya, Billy boy!

FIRST POST! wheee!!

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WHEEEEE

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<img src="http://www.zefiel.thenetbox.com/ham-city.jpg">

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Also, i saw a barn owl flying over my neighborhood! how cool is that? (not a furry.)

<img src="http://www.wildlife-art-paintings.co.uk/bi...n-owl-picture-4.jpg">

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This FIRST POST brought to you by Fark.com

(not go there anymore, just poking fun at everything.. but i did see the owl. and also, i left work at 1147pm. hope it excuses my behaviour)