Moby's column this week

Is a previously unpublished joke by Kurt Vonnegut. Not bad.


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Edited by author 10-06-2005 01:25 PM
Kurt Vonnegut has a thing for librarians

What male writer doesn't? Maybe this is why there are male writers.

Music (especially the blues) cheers him, as do people who behave decently. Librarians, too — "not famous for their physical strength" — who resist having books removed from shelves and refuse to give names of people who have checked out certain books in the era of the Patriot Act.

"The America I loved," he writes, "still exists in the front desks of public libraries."

Nice little interview.

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I knew I never trusted Kurt Vonnegut for a reason

I never trust anyone who hasn't won a Nobel... and who used to sell those European Datsuns.

Why the Swedes have never given me a Nobel Prize for Literature. Old Norwegian proverb: “Swedes have short dicks but long memories.”

(From Maud)



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No! How depressing. Kilgore Trout gave us all reason to live. Such joy, such verve. Hell, I was just telling an 8 year old about a planet he invented where the creatures self-propelled via their own farts. A whole world run on methane. The 8 year old has just learned to fart at will and was suitably impressed.

Knowledge is power

Kurt Vonnegut's final conversation with Kilgore Trout. Trout recently committed suicide in a fit of depression when a psychic told him Bush would win again by Supreme Court vote.

TROUT: Just trying to be Einstein. You never know. But hey, the two people you said were so smart were both men. Women say smart things, too. I went walking with a woman the other day, if you can believe it, and I stopped to retie my shoes, and she said, “Every time I go for a walk with a man he always has to stop to retie his shoes. Why won’t men tie double knots? A fear of commitment?” How’s that for anthropology, the science of man? I’ll bet they didn’t teach you about men and shoelaces at Chicago.

KV: That isn’t anthropology. That’s sociology.

TROUT: What’s the difference? I’ve often wondered.

KV: A sociologist is paid by the Sociology Department. An anthropologist is paid by the Anthropology Department.

TROUT: Glad to have that cleared up.

KV: Knowledge is power.

He drank a bottle of drano. That's commitment. (From Maud)



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Yup, it's a great big tureen full of Martian soup for the soul.

 Kurt says "to practice any art, no matter how well or badly, is a way to make your soul grow. So do it".

There, National Novel Writing Month is good for the soul.

"Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites, standing for absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college."

Kurt Vonnegut reveals things he has said to students.




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