| P. Srivastava
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01-16-2004 05:51 PM ET (US)
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Sorry for the tardiness of this message! My computer/ internet has not been cooperating, so I hope this is still okay. The readings have moved me to think about a lot of things in my life and how I can change/ improve them. The "Mirror" piece was profound in showing how critical we all are of ourselves and how obsessed we then become of the flaws we criticize- whatever they might be. Most of what we think are flaws are traits that we cannot change, yet we are consumed by them and try everything in our power to correct them and in turn perfecting ourselves- so we think. But nothing is never enough. We are overly critical of our bodies and appearances and there will always be something wrong. If one thing subsists, another thing arises. It is a vicious cycle we put ourselves through and does not seem likely that it will ever really stop. It also made me think of the things that I supposedly think are wrong with my body and appearance. The mirror to me then becomes a tool that serves only to magnify discrepancies rather than affirm the beauty that is already there. I avoid looking in mirrors too much because my eyes go straight to my "problem areas" if I linger long enough. As long as I am not looking like a walking disaster, I try not to even care what I look like through the course of the day and that means no mirrors, no reflective windows- nada. When I take this attitude nothing seems to matter- everything is okay- flaws and all. It is a relief to not have to worry about what the mirror is going to show me, in terms of what I think may be wrong with the reflection. This is liberating, but then there are always those times when I scrutinize myself. And for what? I really don't know- society, myself, men. Nothing seems to be quite the whole answer. So in the meantime, no matter how much we don't want to admit it- the cycle continues.
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