If you're interested in any kind of scientist, I exist. I also happen to be Australian, so if you have trouble controlling us more distant countries... can I assassinate our prime minister and take charge?

You know what would look really good on that aircraft carrier? Concorde.

The outfit that's auctioning the carrier is also selling some Russian T-72 tanks. Just the thing for the Evil Overlord who needs to run down to the store for a 2AM ice cream run.

Atolls are no damn good atoll^h^h^h^h^h^h. They're flat, see, without any volcanic mountains shaped even remotely like a skull.

It's a bit small.

And those steam turbines are what the local Vicar would describe as "knackered".

Besides, as we all know, you can only fit a space-drive to a battleship.

I'll go halvsies on the carrier if you want, Charlie. But I get to wear a hat like H. Nelson and be called "Admiral".

If the Evil Overlord wants to buy Harriers, I'll sign up to join Evil Squadron. It'd be a bit of a learning curve, I grant you, but Mmmmmmm... Harriers.....

Well, the current HMS Vengeance is both nuclear powered and nuclear armed. But that's another species of warship ...

If its not nuclear powered, it's shite.

It obviously escaped your attention that the Lunar mass Driver is based upon the Moon, making your recomendation rather redundant. Not to mention the fact that the Inflatable Lair provides no protction from radiation, heat or cold, making it absolutely unsuitable for a MoonBase.

Just think of what would happen during a meteor impact?

I suppose I could find it in my shriveled, blackened little heart to forgive this oversight on your behalf, but...

You called me a Republican.

You shouldn't have done that.

You should expect my mutant minions to be stopping by shortly to collect your liver. Please try to die as quietly as possible; I won't be there to hear your screams of pain, and I'd hate to miss them.

 You can use the discounted Inflatable Lair and the Lunar Mass Driver from the Superweapons page if you want a Moonbase. Jeez, do we have to supply joined-up thinking as well? You're supposed to be an Evil Genius, not an Evil Republican! Get out there and genius!

http://www.villainsupply.com/superweapons.html

http://www.villainsupply.com/lairs.html

What? No MoonBase?

Drat!

"Elections?" What are these "elections" you speak of, democrat scum?!?

Blam!

I'm afraid that your claims to being elected evil overlord are a bit late. Go look at my LJ (http://www.livejournal.com/~aaardvark/).

How did your minions do in yesterday's "elections?"

I took a dislike to Red Hat the first time I noticed that their "server" version (the one with free Apache httpd) cost more than their "workstation" version. That's what pushed me over to FreeBSD.

Utah has its attractions, not the least of which is a generous supply of Mindless Zombie Minions.

Just a small complaint O Evil One: Conyers is a house rep, not a senator. He's also in the Democrat Party, or the not so visibly insane party as we call em around here. All Hail Your Evil Fullness etc. and yada yada yada...

Sure, orcs, and particularly uruk-hai, have many characteristics which good soldiers may emulate.

But standing next to a demolition charge when it goes off is not one of them.

Gary, I have a brother who is an ex-marine and one who just re-upped. I can say without fear of contridiction, that they would be amused by the comparison with orcs, and approving. Joe would just want it noted that USMC wins more often than orcs, Mary Gentle aside.

Didn't Eddie Izzard once say something about US being okay with someone who kills people in their own country- seeing as we've probably been trying to do it ourselves. If he didn't than he should of 'cause I just did.


(You like how I capitalized u and s so as to give the distinct impression of us being america. You're welcome.)

Joe: you've been dead for fifty years, shut your yap. Besides, you never managed to conquer the planet, so there.

Those of us who really are evil overlords find your posing as one grows tiresome, Mr Stross.

You'll have to be a much eviler evildoer to outevil my candidate. http://www.cthulhu.org/

Hiya all,

Adding "Stroessner" to your name is very "dépassé" - most people today will not recognise the name... You should add "Chavez" instead!

Good luck w/your plans!

Loki

Thus is it proved that there is nothing so silly that somebody will believe it....

(Normal serf farce will be resumed as soon as possible.)

Your mad scheme is doomed to fail, Stroessner! The tighter you squeeze your grip, the more of us slip between your fingers. For every one of us you manage to cut down, a dozen more rise to take his place!

You can only kill me. You shall never defeat me!

Allons, enfants de la patrie,
Le jour de gloire est arrivé...!

Hey, if you keep badgering me about Orcs I'll set Mary Gentle loose on you. Then you'll be sorry, Gary.

As for the USMC, they're this century's equivalent of the last century's red-coats. Professional soldiers sent by the leading imperial power to murder citizens of less powerful nations in the pursuit of profit. Bluntly, that's what this is about. The current US administration has committed crimes against humanity and its leaders deserve an appointment before a court in the Hague. There are reports of war crimes coming out of Iraq and Afghanistan, too, and they need investigating and prosecuting where appropriate.

"My country right or wrong" doesn't wash, Gary. Neither does believing that an Al Qaida atrocity justifies your government in committing other atrocities against other peoples.

"...and sends forth armies of Orcs (or the US Marine Corps).

That's terribly funny if you don't actually have a relative or friend in the Marines. Would you really make this sort of reference to your brother or close friend, Charlie?

I guess they all deserve to die, as tools of imperialism, or something. Tools of al Queda don't, but mere eveil tools of imperialism, such as US Marines: fuck'em. They're not human or worthy or oppressed. They're orcs.

Have you ever had an orc as a relative, Charlie? Shared lunch? Considered that they might not be an orc?

Cared about being called an orc?

Thought of yourself as an orc, for calling a person who puts their life on the line to prevent injustice, an orc?

Have you risked your life, time and again, to oppose fascism, to find yourself called an "orc"?

Me, neither.

That's glib, though.

Be sure to never thank someone who is a member of the police. And be sure never to be a victim of a crime. And be sure to never need rescuing by a Marine. <p> Since you never travel, I'm sure this will never come up. But, by all means, tell them what you've said if it should happen. <p> They're orcs. <p> Got it.

And you, apparently, won't be Merry or Pippin.

Gollum, gollum.

http://www.villainsupply.com/ for all your Evil Mastermind needs. Skull Island will fit neatly on the mezzanine in your study, for example and the obvious and convenient self-destruct switch will fall neatly to hand where the cats can get at it. Operators are waiting for your call.

I think the change to Stroessner would be good. "Mr Stroessner has been shot. Round up the usual suspects."

I was thinking of We'll meet again. As in, the final credits to "Dr Strangelove".

It's so good to see real ambition.

After all, leadership of the Conservative Party is such a trivial goal.

But if I vote for you, you're buying the drinks. And we are not going to sing The Rime of the Ancient Mariner to the tune of Hernando's Hideaway.

Any chance of Hope Eyrie as the planetary anthem?

According to Warren Ellis they are in the process of moving hosts.

Anyone know what happened to boingboing?

Edited by author 10-30-2003 08:46 PM
I'll vote for you.

I mean, you couldn't do WORSE than whoever's doing it now, right?

Russ

Right now I'd vote for you if you could tell me how to get Blosxom working without showing the cgi-bin/blosxom.cgi part. But that's just me. By the way, when you were talking about QuickTopic ads, did you mean those Google text ads over there <-- ? If so, they don't seem too intrusive to me.

Mind you, I'm running AdSubtract, and I see that it has blocked one ad from quicktopic.com so there's obviously something I'm not seeing.

Martin.
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http://devilgate.livejournal.com/