being alone doesn't = unhappiness

i know i'll be just fine flying solo... possibly a lot
better than i was before.

it's just a shock to the ol system when things like that happen. but that is life....

unsettling shocks and happy suprises....

yeah...a wise woman told me that if my last boyfriend was a jerk, I would have never learned anything. Usually the guy we think is "The One" (or one of the ones at least) -- the guy who we love and want to grow old with -- when they dump us, we learn the most....

so yeah, one of my goals next time around is to STAY as is and not try to change to suit someone else. Plus I'm keeping my goals and dreams and friends. I don't ever need to keep my life in a holding pattern ever again.... ;-)

I like to tell myself that if I never do turn that corner and meet that right guy, that my life will still be great. Or so I hope.

Edited by author 10-08-2003 04:57 PM
Bonnie,

Hang in there. It's not "if" the right guy comes along. It's "when" and "where". You're a creative grrl in a town where there's got to be a guy who just hasn't had the fortune to turn the street corner and bump into you coming from the other direction... yet.

First time caller, long time reader,
Mike
www.mp3.com/acastofthousands

Exactly! It makes you wonder about the validity of that whole "power of positive thinking" stuff, that you can just decide to be done and poof! you're done. I always think, "OK, now I'm going to be rich" and then breathlessly await my piles of cash ... but nothing ever happens. Drat it.

Silliness aside, this stage is a good stage. I've been in it for about three years now and it's productive as hell, and very fun. (And interestingly enough, I did find someone who is just as you described, without even looking -- maybe that's when you're ready? Hard to say.) I'm starting to think maybe it's the next step toward being a grown-up ... and now that I've said the dread G-word, I must go play UT and listen to some Germs before I become dull dull DULL. Adios!

yeah it kind of reminds me of that scene in the movie "Singles" when Bridget Fonda's character finally realizes that chasing the Matt Dillion musician character isn't worth it for her anymore and that she deserves someone who will appreciate her.

She spends the day on the roof sunbathing and reading magazines and has a great time.

I think I'm at that stage now. Where I realize that I'm cool with being just me and being by myself. And eventually I'll run into someone who's going to love me as is.

Good news! Can't wait to read the book.

Also glad to hear you're over it -- sometimes you need to hang on & think about it for a bit, but then you just move on ... and it's weird how it can happen like *that*. You just kind of decide you're done. Been there! :-)

Definition of Grrl for Joe:

There's Grrl = online woman
and then there's grrrl = riot grrrl feminist

Riot Grrrl didn't lose it's 'R' along the way. Grrrl will always refer to the Riot Grrrl movement, but a lot of journalists reporting about the music and culture dropped the R out of laziness, or just didn't do their research I suppose.

There is a Riotgrrl Web site -- but they don't have much to do with the actual Riot Grrrl movement.

As for Grrl, well I can say with some knowledge that originally this was coined to mean a girl who uses computers and the Net a lot. I got the Grrl.com domain way back in 1996 when the word was still new and no one was really using it to mean anything. I tried to trademark it so some lawyers like MTV or Tampax wouldn't try to snag it for a commercial usage, but alas by the time all my legal paperwork was done and all the fees were paid, Grrl became a common use word. Which in a way I'm glad. Hopefully Webster's dictionary will add it to the new word list on of these days! ;-)

So perhaps Grrl means so many different things now that punk bands, hackers, zinesters and artists all use it to mean something different.

Hopefully that answers your question to some degree, even though basically the definition of Grrl is a matter of opinion. ;-)

Happiness and contentment... Bha! Conquest and advancement! ...Or whatever floats your boat I guess...

By the by... No one has been able to tell me the significance of "grrl" yet... (ref blog of Sept. 20th)

Just Askin'
Joe

now i get to concentrate on my book, work and having a life again.